happiness is a choice not a result

Happiness is a Choice: 9 Ways to be Happy

Did you know that happiness is a choice, not something that only happens to a lucky few? Here are all the reasons you can choose happiness so that you can make that choice today.

happiness is a choice

Let’s face it, most people aren’t happy. Rare is the person who is happy. Believe it or not, most people live crappy lives, and it’s the reason why rates of depression and suicide are so high.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn that happiness is a choice. Moreover, you will learn how to attain happiness and change your life.

Once you learn this important truth, you will be encouraged to take steps to grab the happiness that you deserve.

This post is about a truth most people don’t yet realize: happiness is a choice, not something that happens to you.

Happiness is a choice

People don’t know how to be happy. And it’s why we have so many who have anger issues. Many only know how to use violence to get their needs met.

Most people drown in misery. And it’s the reason we have so many bullies and abusers running around terrorizing people.

With bullies, using force is the only way they can feel in control. Without you to push around, they would have to take stock of their own lives. Then they would have to admit they’ve lost control over their circumstances.

However, many lead crappy lives.  These are those who are bullies, victims, or neither. But why?

There are several reasons.

Most people try to put on a fake persona to impress others. Victims do it to keep from being bullied and only achieve the exact opposite. Bullies do it to seek admiration. Those who are neutral do it to be liked.

However, what they don’t realize is that happiness comes from within, not without. It is a choice. It’s not something that only happens to a lucky few.

Happiness is a Choice:

You can either lead a happy life or a crappy life.

Naturally, we all want a happy life. However, the sad thing is, not everyone knows how. Because they aren’t sure how to achieve happiness, most stay stuck on autopilot. So, let’s break it down.

What does it mean to be happy? And what does it mean to have a crappy life?

There are 5 differences.

1. Living happily

This means walking away from people who are not healthy for you. It means turning your back on people who abuse and use you.

Moreover, it means saying goodbye to those who only come around when they want or need something. In short, it means letting go of people who don’t value you.

Most of all, you must be willing to be alone until better people come along.

Happiness is a Choice:

Living crappily

To lead a crappy existence means putting up with people who aren’t healthy for you. It means clinging to those who continue to use and abuse you.

It means being afraid of being alone and friendless. Therefore, you don’t have the guts to tell them to take a hike.

It also means tolerating people who only approach when they want something. Then, giving them what they want, while wishing and hoping that, someday, they’ll see your value.

But here’s a newsflash! That someday may never come. No one will notice your worth as long as you don’t value yourself.

You don’t respect yourself enough to tell them to step off. And even then, they may never value you.

But wouldn’t you much rather do bad by yourself rather than put up with those who mistreat you?

2. Happiness is a Choice:

Living Happily

It depends on how you spend your free time. You spend your leisure time doing things that you enjoy.  You make time for play. And, you also make time for rest.

Moreover, you use your free time to grow yourself. You exercise and get healthy. You read books to learn and expand your mind. Living happily means focusing on your hobbies and interests. It also means working on your goals.

Happiness won’t just fall into your lap. You must create it.

Living crappily

Instead of getting out of the house, you sit on your butt and watch TV all day. Some TV isn’t bad and can be enjoyable.

But when watching TV is all you do, you become sedentary, lazy, and stagnant. Living a crappy existence also means refusing to learn anything.

I know a few who dislike reading. Therefore, they stay stuck because they don’t learn anything new. I’ve also met people who don’t have goals, hobbies, or interests.

And it all makes for a boring life. Also, because they lack those resources, they tend to get into legal trouble. They may go out and get drunk or high because they’re bored.

And it only sets them on a path to misery and destruction.

3. Happiness is a Choice:

Living happily

To be happy, you must be yourself and own your quirks and flaws. You must speak your truth even if others resent you for it.

Own your emotions, the good and the bad ones, instead of burying them. Make fun of yourself when you fall on your keister from time to time.

Living crappily

To have a crappy existence is to try to be someone you aren’t. It means being a fake, a fraud, an imposter.

And, do you know what’s so bad about being a fake person? It’s that you’re constantly on high alert. You must work extra hard to ensure the mask doesn’t fall off. And that’s a stressful way to be.

You don’t own your emotions. For instance, someone does something to really tick you off. When others ask you how you are, you lie and tell them you’re just fine.

You also try to align your body language and facial expressions with your words. Rarely does that fool anyone, as micro-expressions will give you away.

Again, it’s too much work, and it’s work for nothing!

4. Happiness is a Choice:

Living happily

It depends on the way you do things. It means working smart and not hard. Also, it means taking your time and doing whatever you’re doing right.

Living crappily

This also depends on how you do things. It means working hard rather than working smart. It means rushing through whatever you’re doing and taking a chance on fouling it up. Then, you’ll have to start again.

5. Living happily

Every day, you count your blessings. This can be difficult at times; I understand. Things go wrong, and plans don’t work out.

Therefore, it can be difficult to see the silver lining when it seems your world is upside down. And I’ll let you in on a little secret- even I struggle with this sometimes.

Like you, I can get into a real funk too. But we must count blessings when we think about it, so that life won’t seem as dismal.

Happiness is a Choice:

Living crappily

You only see the glass as half-empty and life as one big hell-pit. I had this kind of attitude years ago, and it only made things worse for me.

Oh, man, did I have a funky attitude. You wouldn’t have wanted to know me back then. So, you can have happiness or crappiness. It’s your choice.

Being Happy doesn’t mean Everything is Perfect.

Happiness isn’t that everything is all peaches and cream. Even happy people have days when they don’t feel so good. And they have days when things go wrong.

Being happy doesn’t mean having a perfect life. It doesn’t mean living in zippity do-da land.

Again, what being happy really means is being authentic and growing in mind, body, and spirit.  It means having a purpose and goals to work toward. It also means allowing yourself time for play and relaxation.

In a nutshell, happiness means being true to yourself and everything about you.

Attaining Happiness

Happiness doesn’t fall into your lap, and it isn’t magically given. We choose happiness.

Once upon a time, I was the most negative person you ever met. However, when I grew tired of being miserable, I began reading extensively.

That’s when my eyes were opened, and I finally put in the work to change my attitude. In changing those things, I changed my life.

Again, everything isn’t perfect. I still have days when things don’t go the way I want. But I no longer see it as the end of the world.

There are even times I get angry or upset. However, the difference is that I don’t set up shop and stay there. I usually bounce back pretty quickly.

Happiness is a Choice:

9 Ways to Choose to be Happy

Here are additional ways to choose happiness.

1. Check your thoughts.

It starts with a single thought. Negative thoughts will cross your mind. It’s a part of life. Therefore, you must catch it and replace it with a positive one.

Once you begin to do this, it’ll slowly become a habit. Keep it up long enough, and it will become like second nature.

You’ll be so surprised by how your life will improve. Like magic, positive people and experiences will suddenly begin flowing into your life. I can tell you this from experience!

2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

The small stuff is what people think and say of you. You shouldn’t worry about it because they don’t matter. Neither do their opinions and petty remarks. Never let bullies determine how you feel about yourself.

Therefore, forget about them and continue to do you.

3. Do what you enjoy most.

Do what fulfills you. Engage in hobbies and interests. You must create opportunities to enjoy yourself.

4. Happiness is a Choice:

Spend time with those you love.

Hold your family and closest friends close to your heart. Visit them often and don’t lose touch.

5. Learn something new every day.

If you’re not learning, you’re stagnating. Reading and learning new things can be exciting, and they help you grow!

So, grab a good book. I guarantee it will deliver significant dividends!

6. Find a hobby.

Hobbies are fun, and they keep your mind off the bad stuff. They also give you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment!

Having hobbies is essential to mental health, especially if others bully you.

7. Happiness is a Choice:

Stay away from drama.

Others’ moods have a way of rubbing off on you. So, stay far away from anyone who’s immersed in drama. Otherwise, they’ll smother and kill your vibe!

You have a choice of the people you allow in your life. Choose wisely.

8. Find Purpose.

This is closely related to number 8. To me, the key to happiness is finding purpose- a purpose that’s so much bigger than yourself.

Happiness comes when you answer a calling and make it your passion, purpose, and life’s work. Becoming an advocate for the bullied is what I love best.

That purpose is helping targets reclaim their power. This is so much bigger than me. And it’s why it feels so rewarding!

Contributing to helping others more successfully battle bullying isn’t for material gain, fame, or fortune. It’s for my spiritual fulfillment. It’s the inner rewards I get.

Making a difference and making the world a better place- even if just a little bit? There’s no reward that matches that! In other words, I want to be the person I needed when I was targeted years ago.

Material rewards are nice, don’t get me wrong. And I certainly won’t turn them down if God decides to bless me with them. I would like to make a good living doing what I love. After all, I’m human too.

But at the end of the day, the inner rewards- the rewards to the heart and spirit are more satisfying than I ever thought they would be. It’s what keeps me going, and it’s where my fulfillment comes from.

9. Happiness is a choice:

Create, Create, Create!

Producing something from your own brain and hands is the most fulfilling. Whether you create a music CD, a book, a sculpture, or a painting, you also create happiness for yourself.

Therefore, find out what you enjoy doing and build something from it.

Happiness is a Choice:

In Closing

Other ways to be happy include practicing self-acceptance, exercising, and trying new things.

I can’t stress this enough. Happiness comes from within. In other words, no one else is responsible for your happiness, only you.

How you get your happiness is to create it. And there are many ways you can do that.

The purpose of this post was to remind you that happiness is a choice so that you can take steps to reclaim the happiness you deserve.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

2. Let It Make You or Break You: Being a Victim of Bullying

How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

Do you want to know how to overcome victim mentality? Are you sick of feeling like a victim all the time? Here are the time-tested and proven techniques you can use to shed victim-think and feel much better about yourself.

how to overcome victim mentality

Victim mentality doesn’t serve you. It only drags you down and keeps you there. In fact, victim mentality has a negative effect on all aspects of your life, from relationships and friendships, to business and employment prospects, to finances.

Therefore, as someone who’s been there, I’m giving you all the mind hacks that I and many others swear by.

You will learn all the details on how to overcome victim mentality. These easy mind hacks will boost your confidence and repair your self-esteem quicker than you think.

After you learn all these mental methods, you will be more confident than you ever thought possible. Also, you will be happier, relaxed, and more at peace with yourself.

This post is all about how to overcome victim mentality and will give you all the simple mind hacks that every target of bullying needs to know about.

How to overcome victim mentality

First, let’s discuss why victim-think is so bad for your life.

Now, it’s okay to be angry and to take time out to feel those emotions when someone does you wrong. It’s natural to need time to heal. And I respect that.

However, don’t set up shop and live in that yucky place for long. Because, if you stay there, it will ruin your life.

Understand that holding hate and trying to seek revenge over something that some creep did to you in the past is counterproductive. Moreover, it comes from a victim mentality. It also comes from feeling that the transgressor owes you some form of satisfaction, restitution, or atonement.

Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way. This kind of attitude only makes you miserable.

I want you to realize that a victim mentality is never good because it keeps you trapped in an abyss of anger and hatred. Moreover, spending too much time in this state only leads to depression and poor mental health.

You feel like the world owes you. However, what you don’t realize is that even if the world did give you what you feel you’re owed, you’d still never be happy and you’d only want more, more, and more.

This is why it’s crucial that you know how to overcome victim mentality.

Take it from someone who’s been there. Holding onto resentment and hatred is no way to live. It’s a dark and ugly place to be.

Therefore, I can’t stress how important it is for you to rid yourself of victim-think. It’s the only way you’ll ever reach that beautiful place of self-acceptance and ultimately, peace and happiness. And once you do, it will be such sweet freedom!

You can do this! I’ve got faith in you!

Before we get into the mind hacks, let’s now discuss the benefits you’ll get once you put these mind hacks to practice. Now, one thing you must know is that you can’t one practice them one time and expect to reap the advantages I’m about to spill here.

Once you know these mental training exercises, you must get into the habit of practicing them every day. Then, slowly but surely, you will notice the benefits, and, here they are!

Benefit 1

You’ll no longer feel like you’re less than.

In the past, the bullies in your life may have called you the most horrible names in the English language. Yes, they may have pointed fingers of judgement in your direction. Moreover, they have have ridiculed and smeared you.

Even worse, they may have destroyed your reputation. However, you won’t stay a victim forever because their effects on you won’t last if you don’t allow it to.

Therefore, you’ll discover that you have more control over your circumstances than you know. This new epiphany will cause your self-esteem to soar!

You’ll also realize that you already have within you the delicious power to refuse to let their childish behavior define you. And that you’d had it all along.

You’re a survivor. In fact, You’ll soon find out that you’re more than that!

 You’ll be a winner! Because your bullies and abusers will no longer have the power to make you feel that you’re less than human. No one will have that power but you.

You’ll no longer be a victim because you won’t allow other people’s perceptions of you to determine how you feel about yourself nor define you as a person.

Instead, you’ll know who you are and feel good about it.

You’ll be glad you learned how to overcome victim mentality!

Your bullies and abusers may have taken your confidence away and at times, maybe your physical well-being. But they could never take away your soul! They couldn’t take your integrity, individuality, nor your freedom of thought.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t still be standing.

They couldn’t take any of the things that mattered!

How to overcome victim Mentality: Benefit 2

Another reason you won’t feel like a victim anymore is because you will no longer feel any hate nor any desire to take revenge. Therefore, your energy will better spent on your family, doing what you love to do, and working on yourself.

You’ll be too busy doing you and yours.

Moreover, you’ll look back and be so glad you finally got tired of being unhappy and unfulfilled. You’re eyes will be opened, and you’ll change your way of thinking.

By now, you’re probably thinking, “Okay, okay! Just get to the mind hacks already!”

Here’s how to overcome victim mentality. Finally! The Mind Hacks!

1. refuse to allow bullies from the past to take up space in Your mind

In other words, stop letting them live rent-free in your head. Don’t waste another drop of precious energy on people who were never worth it in the first place.

Know that when you hold grudges, you waste your time thinking about people who probably don’t give you so much as a thought. Why? Because you’re not important to them. Yet you make them important by having them in your head.

You give them power over the way you feel and over your life. Realize that life is too short and you only have one to live. Therefore, stop wasting your time on people who aren’t worth a puddle of pee.

Take your power back and use it to better your own life.

2. How to overcome victim mentality: accept yourself, flaws, quirks, and all.

Put simpler, decide once and for all that you’re okay just the way God made you. Realize that you need no one else’s approval, least of all, theirs!

Why should you care about winning acceptance from anyone else? Decide today that you’re just as important without anyone else’s say so. Who is anyone to decide your worth? Only you can do that. This is how you raise your self-esteem.

3. Make it your mission to love and take care of yourself and the people who truly matter in your life.

And that includes weeding out toxic people who are only there to use you and to see you fail- those who don’t belong in your life.

Also, know that you’re the only one who’s responsible for your life and the outcomes of your situations. No one else is accountable for these things.

4. How to overcome victim mentality: You do it by focusing on things that are important

 Therefore, focus on God, family, your closest friends. Moreover, keep your mind on being the best version of you that you can possibly be. Also, focus on your goals and dreams. Keep your mind on any projects you may be working on or anything you love to do.

In other words, focus on your hobbies and anything that you enjoy doing. Spend time with those who love you most and vise versa. Keep company with those who celebrate you and lift you up while avoiding the creeps who bring you down.

Practice self-care and create as many good memories in your life as you possibly can.

5. Lastly and most importantly, Forgive.

I can just hear some of you now. “Oh, she must be out of her rabid-ass mind!” “She must be stark-raving mad! “No way! They don’t deserve my forgiveness after the hell they put me through!”

And maybe they don’t. But you deserve it.

In other words, you deserve to be able to let go of the pain. You also deserve the freedom and peace that comes after you forgive those who’ve hurt you. Also, you deserve the blessings and good things that follow.

Trust me when I say that forgiveness changes your life for the better. You will see a dramatic improvement in your health, mental and physical.

Moreover, you will also see a significant change in your circumstances. You’d be surprised at the awesome blessings that come your way once you decide to forgive and move on. You will even have success in the things you set out to do and achieve more than you ever thought you would!

Most importantly, you will rise above anything your enemies tried to do to bring you down. And you will frustrate them because they couldn’t keep you down! Yes, that hurts them more than any revenge you could ever take.

It happened for me and it’ll happen for you too. I guarantee it.

So, stop feeling sorry for yourself. Know that you have the delicious power to change your life!

This post was all about how to overcome victim mentality so that you can take back your peace and happiness.

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

3. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

4. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

5. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference