how to be brave against bullies at school

How to be Brave Against Bullies: 10 Countermoves You Can Use

Want to know how to be brave against bullies? It’s easier than you think. Here are all the countermoves you can use to stand tall against bullies.

how to be brave against bullies

Bullying can be one of the most intimidating life experiences a person can go through. Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to be brave against bullies and emerge a winner.

Once you learn all these simple tactics, you will be able to stand against your bullies with the calm confidence you never knew you had.

This post is all about how to be brave against bullies so that you can overcome them and live your life in peace.

How to Be Brave Against Bullies

It’s difficult to stand against people who mean to hurt you. They may be much bigger than you. Or they may have more social capital. However, standing up to bullying is much easier than most of “the experts” admit.

However, most people don’t know it. Therefore, they spend so many years suffering silently while others torture and torment them daily. Why? Because they don’t think that they can do anything about it.

But it doesn’t have to be this way.

I’m not an expert, and I have never claimed to be. However, I speak from personal experience, and experience is the best teacher in the world. I found out through trial and error that bullying is easy to stand up to if you know the right tactics.

And the good news is that there’s always something you can do. The trick is knowing this and knowing the right tactics to use in any given situation.

Therefore, here are simple techniques you can use to stand up to bullying and eventually overcome it.

1. Know where their behavior comes from.

How to be brave against bullies is to figure out why they are bullying you. In other words, one of the first steps is to know where their behavior comes from. Does it come from fear? Jealousy?

Most bullies bully you because they’re insecure. They behave the way they do to hide their fear and cover up their insecurities. In other words, they overcompensate for their shortcomings.

For example, maybe people like you. And your bully feels threatened by that. Or, maybe you have something that bullies see as a weakness. So, they exploit it to cover their own weaknesses.

Whatever their reasons, it’s crucial that you have this knowledge so your confidence doesn’t take such a big hit.

2. How to Be Brave Against Bullies:

Return any glares, sneers, and dirty looks.

Most seasoned bullies won’t come out and tell you anything. No. Instead, they may stand across the room from you and give you the death glare. Or they may silently threaten you by pounding their fist into the palm of their opposite hand.

Whatever gesture they use, you must realize why they do this. The bully is only trying to intimidate you, but they don’t want to risk being caught.

Therefore, the best way to handle this is to return the death glare. Don’t say anything to the bully. Just glare back at them.

When you do this, you show the bully that they don’t scare you. Then, you don’t look as weak to them. And, who knows, they just might look away and leave you alone.

3. Defend Yourself Against Physical Bullying.

If nothing else, know this. If a bully puts their hands on you, it is okay to hit them back. In fact, you have a right to do it.

Therefore, don’t be afraid to put up your dukes when someone hits, kicks, or shoves you. The experts may tell you not to hit back. They may tell you to handle it more maturely.

However, you can’t get through to a bully with politeness. You must respond with strength. In other words, you must impose consequences. Why? Because consequences are the only way to get bullies to back off.

4. How to Be Brave Against Bullies:

Stand up to verbal bullying with Short, Stinging Comebacks.

In many cases, it does no good to respond to verbal attacks with silence. Why? By saying nothing, you are only giving the bullies what they want. And what they want is for you not to say anything back.

Therefore, they will keep doing it.

Thankfully, there are witty comebacks you can use to shut these creeps down. For instance, here’s a scenario you might run into:

Bully: “Your clothes look like they came from the Salvation Army!”

You: “Oh, you shop there too?”

And say it calmly. Otherwise, it won’t have an effect.

This is a good comeback because you turn the bully’s insult against them. Therefore, they will be less likely to target you with words again.

 

Here are other Comebacks you can use.

  • “If I want to hear from an ass, I’ll fart.”
  • “You know? There are other ways to get attention besides being a moron.”
  • “You’re not a very happy person, are you?”

Go here or here for more good comebacks to keep in your mental arsenal.

5. How to Be Brave Against Bullies:

Refuse to Seek Approval.

There’s nothing brave about approval-seeking. If anything, it’s cowardice, stemming from the fear that others won’t like you. True Bravery means having the courage to walk alone.

When you try to get approval, you make yourself a slave. Therefore, you are more likely to be bullied. Why? Because when you seek approval, you do some self-demeaning things to get it.

It just isn’t worth it. Realize that you don’t need approval from some people. Therefore, have some self-respect. Never seek approval from anyone other than those who love you the most.

Not everyone is going to like you. It’s a fact of life. Therefore, be okay with being disliked. Embrace your bullies’ hatred. There is dignity in it.

6. Value only the opinions of people who love and care for you.

For opinions to affect you, they must hold weight. In other words, for bullies to insult you and make you feel bad, you must first value their opinions.

Most people rarely think of this. But the value you place on someone’s opinions depends on your relationship with them. Or, it should.

For example, you would value the opinions of your mother over those of your boss. Just the same, you value your best friend’s opinions over your bullies’.

Therefore, value only what the people who love and want the best for you think. What your bullies think doesn’t matter.

7. How to Be Brave Against Bullies:

Be Choosy Who You Associate With.

In other words, refuse to have anything to do with anyone who is toxic or petty. The friends you select should bring value to your life.

In other words, don’t select people who subtract from your life as friends. Only choose those who add to it.

8. Reframe Your Weaknesses as Strengths.

Reframing your weaknesses and flaws means choosing to see them in a positive light. Doing this can help you feel better about yourself. For example, Marilyn Monroe had a small mole above her mouth.

Some people might have made fun of that. But, instead of seeing it as something to be ashamed of, she called it a beauty mark and made it a part of her style. The mole became her trademark.

Therefore, sometimes, the thing others try to tease you about can be the thing that makes you unique.

9. How to Be Brave Against Bullies:

Remember that Your Bullies’ Behavior Says More about Them, Not You.

Always remember that the way your bullies treat you reflects on them, not you. If you keep this little nugget of truth in the back of your mind, you’re less likely to be affected by bullying.

Most bullies have no control over their own lives. Therefore, they will try to take control of yours. Bullies are cowards. They may fool others into thinking they’re brave and powerful. However, they only bully you to overcompensate for their own shortcomings.

Moreover, they may do it to distract others from their own flaws. If they can put the focus on you, then no one is paying attention to them. And they won’t notice their imperfections.

10. Accept yourself as you are. 

This is most important. Therefore, I saved this one for last. The sooner you embrace all your flaws, the sooner you will overcome bullies. Realize that we all have shortcomings, even bullies have them. Therefore, relax and be yourself.

In Conclusion

Being brave against bullying isn’t as hard as it seems. It’s easy as pie. Bravery isn’t only about physical strength; it’s also about mental resilience. It’s also about self-acceptance.

And now that you know all the steps to follow, I have no doubt that you will emerge as a winner. You will build your confidence and protect your self-esteem. And you will overcome bullying and begin living your life in peace.

This post was all about how to be brave against bullies so that you can keep your confidence when they attack you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullies are Cowards: Why Targets are the Brave Ones

2. Comebacks for Bullies: 12 Phrases that Shut Them Up

3. Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

4. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

negative self-beliefs list

Negative Self-Beliefs: 5 Ways They Affect Victims of Bullying

‘Want to know about negative self-beliefs and all the ways they can effect you if you’re a victim of bullying? Here are all the details you need to know.

negative self-beliefs

When you suffer bullying, it can have ways of playing with your mind. You may initially be a confident person with strong self-beliefs. However, once bullies select you for abuse, they can rip your confidence to shreds. And, before you know it, you’ll begin to doubt your worth and adopt negative self beliefs that match what your bullies think of you.

And, it can destroy your life.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about negative self-beliefs and ways they effect you so that you can recognize them and take steps to preserve your confidence and self-esteem.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will want to fight to keep your confidence and other things that truly matter.

This post is all about negative self-beliefs so that you can hold on to your self-worth and continue to value yourself even when others don’t.

Negative self-beliefs

Bullies have ways of programming you and turning you against yourself, if you aren’t careful. As a result, it can change the entire trajectory of your life. Negative self-beliefs are what Zig Zigler calls, “stinkin’ thinkin.'”

And they can turn your life upside down.

However, there are ways that you can counter this and change those negative beliefs to positive. All you have to do is catch those bad thoughts when they cross your mind. Then, counter them.

It may feel strange at first. But, if you keep practicing, it will soon become like second nature.

Here are a few negative thoughts you can counter.

Anytime you think, ” I’m not good enough,” immediately counter it with, “I AM good enough. I matter and I have value. My bullies’ opinions do not define me.”

Here are other examples you can counter.

Negative belief:

“Nobody will ever love me.”

Positive belief that counters it:

“Yes they will. People already DO love me. My bullies are only saying these things to tear down my self-esteem.”

Negative belief:

“Nothing good can ever happen to me.”

Positive belief that counters it:

“Good things CAN happen to me and they will. Things may not look so rosy now. But things always get better sooner or later.”

Negative belief:

”It sucks to be me!”

Positive belief that counters it:

“It’s GREAT to be me and I love being me. Others may not like me. In fact, they may hate me. But that says more about them then it does about me. So, who are they to decide who I am?” 

Again, you must counter everything your bullies tell you. Besides, what do you care what they think? They don’t matter and they shouldn’t even be an afterthought.

Why counter negative self-beliefs when people bully you?

Because bullying is a form of brainwashing.

When you suffer bullying for long enough, you become fearful and unconsciously hold yourself back. If bullies continue to tell you that you aren’t good enough, you’ll soon believe it too if you don’t stand up for yourself.

In other words, if your bullies succeed in drumming this crap into your head, it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is the last thing you want to happen!

Therefore, counter every verbal attack!

Because bullying is so repetitive.

Bullies are notorious for repeating their attacks. And they do this deliberately to program you to believe them.

This is especially evil because it causes you to think that you’re aren’t worthy of love and friendship. And it makes you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy and prosperous.

Also, it instills fear. It is because of this fear that you stop taking risks. You no longer trust yourself to make good decisions.

Because you don’t think that you’re good enough, you settle for far less than you deserve. And, before long, you develop the mindset that good fortune only happens to anyone who isn’t you.

Bullies can also cause you to lose faith in humanity. You begin to think that all people are rotten and take pleasure in harming others.

As a result, this attitude only causes you to lose out on good friendships and relationships. And it only re-enforces your loneliness and isolation.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

Bullies can cause damage that takes years to repair.

This is what bullying does to you if you allow. It reprograms your mind and smashes your self-esteem to pieces. And it can sometimes take years to put your mental health back together again.

It causes you to do things that you usually wouldn’t do. You select friends you really don’t want to be friends with.

Moreover, you date partners you aren’t even remotely attracted to all because you believe you can’t do any better. But you continue dating these losers just to keep from being alone.

As long as there’s a warm body around, it’s good enough. However, by doing this, you’re not only being unfair to yourself but to the people you select.

You deserve to be with those you want to be with. Also, you deserve to be with those who bring positivity to your life.

And the dating partners you’re settling for? They also deserve to be with people who choose to be with them, not because they’re the only option.

Bullies may accuse you of being selfish when you take care of yourself.

Self-care is never selfish. However, bullies will accuse you of being selfish when you’re only taking care of yourself.

Therefore, you stop practicing self-care and neglect yourself just to satisfy a few ignorant bullies. However, here’s what you need to know right now.

Sometimes, you must permit yourself to be a little bit selfish. In fact,  a degree of selfishness is okay. At times, it’s crucial! Therefore, don’t be ashamed of putting yourself first.

 Never allow anyone to shame you into believing that anything you do for yourself is wrong. Never put yourself on the back burner to appease toxic people.

Selflessness is good, don’t get me wrong. However, it’s unhealthy if putting others first is done at  your expense.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

It’s okay to say “no.”

When you’re afraid to say “no” because you fear retaliation, that’s when you know you need to change your belief system. You deserve to be valued. Therefore, never allow anyone to forbid you to set boundaries.

Realize that you don’t have to allow others to shit all over you! If your life is heading the wrong direction because bullies have brainwashed you, you can change it.

However, it takes getting real with yourself. It requires that you admit to yourself that you’ve been duped. And it takes getting angry at yourself for allowing bullies to mind-f*ck you for all these years.

So, get angry and say, “no more!” You, as much as anyone else, deserve to live happy and in peace.

Changing Destructive thoughts isn’t easy.

Getting rid of destructive thoughts and habits is the hardest thing you’ll never do. In fact, if you’ve had the same thought patterns for several years, your mind will do its best to resist you.

But you can do it! However, It takes a lot of grunt-work. And, most of all, it takes patience. Positive change doesn’t happen overnight.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

Here are ways you can alter negative self-beliefs.

You must get hungry! And you must hunger for any knowledge that will help you change your inside. Only then will you begin to see a positive difference in your outside!

Read personal development books.

Therefore, take your first step toward empowerment by reading as many personal development books that you can get your hands on. Then put everything you learn to practice.

Why? Because, again, psychological reprogramming is hard as hell!

I can’t stress this enough! Your mind will fight you every step of the way. It will take you several years to notice a significant difference in your thought patterns and attitude.

Therefore, you will need to read a lot of personal development books. But be assured that it will pay off in a big way!

And things will be much different! You must realize that doing the work to bring positive changes in your life is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

Don’t let your bullies win by giving them carte blanche to brainwash you with their bullshit. Do what you must do to push back against their rhetoric!

value yourself

Always, value yourself, even when others don’t. Why? Because it will work wonders for your self-esteem. Keep fighting even when it seems you’re losing the battle.

Oftentimes, when things look the bleakest, your breakthrough is just around the corner.

Therefore, continue to love yourself and put yourself first. Reach out to only those who reciprocate the love you give.

Moreover, turn a deaf ear to the harmful talk bullies try to fill your head with. Better yet, send those toxic parasites packing! Because you don’t need them in your life! I promise you!

Do not be afraid to accept outside help. If you get counseling or take courses like Assertiveness Training, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. You must do what you need to improve your thought patterns.

In closing:

Negative self-beliefs only turn your life upside down. What we think, we become. Therefore, always counter destructive thinking with positive thinking. If you need extra help, read personal development books, get counseling, or take an assertiveness training course.

Do these things and I guarantee that you’ll get rid of low self-esteem. And you’ll see amazing results in your thinking! In fact, positive things will flow into your life as soon as you believe that they will.

This post is all about negative Self-beliefs and how they can negatively impact your life so that you can catch them and turn them around before they do any lasting damage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

2. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

3. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways

4. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

5. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

what bullies hate most about you

What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

‘Want to know what bullies hate most? Here are all the things bullies despise so that you’ll have something to feel good about and use against them.

what bullies hate most

There are things bullies absolutely despise and if you know how to use it against them, you’ll make yourself less a victim.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about what bullies hate most so that you can use it to protect yourself.

Once you learn about these game-changing details, you will be a force to be reckoned with the next time your bullies come for you.

This post will tell you exactly what bullies hate most so that you can use it to your advantage and be less of a target to them.

What Bullies Hate Most

Let’s get right into it! Here are all the things bullies hate most.

1. Constructive Criticism

Bullies don’t take constructive criticism very well. They only take it as a personal attack. Remember that bullies are highly egocentric.

They must always be right about everything. Moreover, if they can’t be right, they’ll make it look as if they are. This is how bullies hide beneath a veneer of total perfection.

But why do they do this? For several reasons.

  • They do it to make themselves look better than they really are.
  • The facade of perfection fools people and attracts followers and admirers.
  • Perfection also protects bullies from accountability and shields them from reproach.
  • Bullies can use their so-called perfection as a weapon against their victims.
  • It gives them status and social capital.
  • It gives them the attention.

Understand that when you give bullies any criticism, constructive or otherwise, they see it as an insult to their intelligence. Moreover, it shatters their fake facade.

Again, bullies hate being told they’re wrong about anytime. Therefore, if you want to expose them, tell them they’re wrong. Then, stand back and watch the fireworks!

2. What Bullies Hate Most:

You Countering Their Attacks

It’s because any time you counter a bully, you restore the balance of power. In other words, you take back your personal power, the very thing your bullies are trying to take from you.

You’ll throw them into panic mode. Why? Because, if they lose power over you, they  lose power over everyone and everything.

Moreover, when someone loses power, they lose face. Also, they lose respect. And when they lose respect, they lose credibility, allies, and support.

Then, they will become the bullied. ‘You see? Bullies have an obsessive fear of going from being the hunters to being hunted.

And why not? You aren’t the only person they’ve bullied. There were many others before you. Bullies know that most average people hate people like them. Also, they know that most others are just itching to see them get what’s coming to them.

Everyone loves to see a bully get brought down. And once a bully is brought down, no one will ever allow them to get back up again.

You become a threat to your bullies’ power.

This is why your bullies will pull out all the stops to keep you under their control. If they can’t control you, they control nothing.

Most people are still under the presumption that targets are weak. Therefore, if your bullies can no longer dominate you, others will notice.

And, chances are, the bullies will be at everyone else’s mercy.

In other words, bystanders will look at them and think, “Wow! If they can’t handle a wimp like her then he really couldn’t handle me! This is a juicy opportunity! I can punk this creep out so easily!”

Your bullies then become the new men on the bottom. Gasp!

Why? Because if you can’t overpower the weakest person in the bunch, then you become the new weakest person! Ouch! Talk about a humbling situation!

3. What Bullies Hate Most:

People Who Prefer to be Themselves

Bullies are fake. They have to be to instill fear in those around them. Therefore, they resent anyone who’s comfortable in their own skin. Here’s why.

1. Most bullies are highly insecure

In fact, they’re more insecure than others. When you prefer to be yourself, you’re naturally more charming, seductive, and graceful.

You captivate others without trying. Because of your openness and fluidity, you draw others to you like a magnet.

Bullies are jealous of anyone who enjoys good relations with others.

Not only are bullies insecure, they’re also vain. When you’re authentic, you outshine them without even trying. In fact, your presence, alone, makes your bullies appear less alluring to others.

Therefore, avoid these bullies like the plague. Why? Because they will find a way to destroy you if you stay around them.

They’ll only force you to suppress your natural charm and goodness. And they’ll do it to keep you from looking like you’re better than them.

2. What Bullies Hate Most:

When you chose to be yourself, you don’t have to make any effort to put on a show.

Everything you say and do comes natural. On the other hand, being fake requires a lot of work. There are also a lot of worries that go with it.

 As mentioned earlier, bullies are fake. Therefore, they fear they might slip up and expose themselves somehow. Then, their personalities just might seep through.

Here’s another reason bullies hate you for being yourself. They resent the fact that you don’t have to work and worry like they do.

But no matter what these idiots may throw at you, never be afraid to be yourself. Never hide anything about you.

Why? Because you’ll only lose a bit of yourself each time you put on an act until you lose yourself entirely.

To be fake, you have to work too hard. So, be lazy!

3. What Bullies Hate Most:

Targets They Can’t Manipulate

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! If they can’t manipulate you, they’ll will hate you. My classmates were no different.

Moreover, bullies will always come back at you with the “mentally imbalanced” label. And they do this to discredit you and control how others see you.

 But see this for what it is. It’s a desperate attempt to get you back under their control. Bullies also do this when they can’t find anything else to pin on you.

It only goes to show that they see you as a threat and they’re both desperate and afraid. When you refuse to be manipulated, it sends several messages to your bullies. And these messages threaten their sense of superiority.

  1. It tells them that you see through their smokescreens.
  2. It tells them that you’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  3. It tells them the opposite of what they think of you- that you’re strong and intelligent, not weak and clueless.
  4. It puts them in their place.
  5. It tells them that they can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  6. It lets them know that you don’t give a crap about what they say or think about you.
  7. It tells them you could care less about impressing them.
  8. It tells them they don’t matter to you and that you don’t value their insults or do you accept their definitions of you.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. Therefore, they feel entitled. Your bullies despise being told no and they loathe anyone who will not be controlled.

If they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships, and the way others look at you.

4. Your Confidence

Bullies despise any confidence you have. Why? Because when you’re confident, you believe in yourself. Therefore, you don’t let others define who you are.

Confidence is your first line of defense against bullying. It naturally buffers your self-esteem for personal attacks.

Therefore, you’re more likely to tell your bullies where to stick it when they try to mess with you. And that’s a huge threat to their power.

They may try to push you around one time. But it will be the only time they do it.

It pays to love yourself even when it seems others don’t.

5. What Bullies Hate Most:

Being Called Out

They really hate it when you call them out in public!

Any time you call your bullies out on their bullshit, you expose them in front of any bystanders. Moreover, you do it right to their faces.

Understand that bullies have big egos. And when you call them out, you deflate their egos like popping a balloon!

Also, if there are any witnesses present, you humiliate them. You make them look like weak little punks! And others will notice it and they’ll laugh at them.

They may not laugh right then but once they get off somewhere away from the bullies, they’ll laugh about it behind their backs. And bullies instinctively know this because they’d do the same if they saw it happen to someone else.

6. Being Proven Wrong

For example, you’ve entered a contest and your bullies tell you that you’re going to lose. You ignore them and continue your plans to be in the competition. And you end up winning!

Therefore, you showed them up! Bullies despise it when you prove them wrong. Why? Because you force them to back peddle.

Bullies hate it when you feed them a plate of crow. Therefore, don’t be surprised if they try to get back at you for it.

7. What Bullies Hate Most:

Being Exposed.

Bullies despise it when someone rips their masks off. Especially if that person is you! Understand that they have an image to keep up.

And if you poke holes in their image, look out!

8. Being Stood Up To

This goes back to number two. Again, when you stand up to your bullies, you automatically restore the balance of power.

In that, you put your bullies in a weak position. Therefore, expect them to retaliate against you. Realize that bullies will do anything to restore their sense of superiority.

So, be prepared to dig in your heels until your bullies give up and go find another victim.

This post is all about what bullies hate most so that you can use it to defend yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

2. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

3. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

4. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You