‘Want to know why calling the bluff is so effective in disarming bullies? Here’s why it works and how they react when you call their bluff.
So, what does it mean to call someone’s bluff? According to Merriam-Webster, it means to challenge someone’s threat or statement because you don’t believe it.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about calling the bluff, why it works, and how bullies react when you call their bluff.
Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be more emboldened to challenge bullies when they come around with threats and taunts.
This post is all about calling the bluff and everything that comes with it.
Calling the Bluff
As we all know, bullies are convincing liars. But what happens when they finally get called out on their lies and evil deeds? Let’s use scenarios to find out.
For example, you’re a target of bullying. You find out that the one friend you thought you could trust has been spreading your deepest secrets.
Also, they’ve been spreading lies behind your back while only pretending to be your best buddy. This can apply to both school and workplace environments.
When you confront her, here are her possible reactions.
1. She will deny it or try to avoid the subject.
How will you know she’s dishonest? She will deny it. Moreover, she may change the subject by discussing a topic irrelevant to the issue while appearing to be busy with a task. Girls are known for this.
2. She will become irate and go on a tirade.
She may yell and curse at you. Also, she may turn it back on you and accuse you of suffering from paranoia, being unhinged, or being a crybaby.
But understand that she only looks and sounds desperate when she does this. Know that this is just another dead giveaway. Why? Because most bullies get highly defensive when they’re afraid they’re busted.
Understand that most bullies will get loud. They scream, yell, and pound their fists. They will curse and swear when they fear exposure.
However, don’t let this scare you because the dramatics and theatrics they display only mean that the bullies are desperate! And through their desperation, they only expose their guilt.
3. Calling the Bluff:
They will lay guilt trips on you.
For instance, the guilty person might say,
- “Well, if you were my friend, you wouldn’t believe…”
- “If you were a true friend to me, you wouldn’t even question my loyalty.”
Don’t buy that garbage. The person is just trying to make you feel guilty or trying to intimidate you into silence.
If your so-called friend was the only person you told any secrets to, it’s a safe bet they’re the one who spoke it without your permission. And if enough people tell you that she is saying things behind your back, especially people you’ve never met or had any dealings with, or people who aren’t a threat to you, she’s guilty!
Example 2:
You have a bully on your back, and you’ve finally had enough. You call them out on their bad behavior and begin speaking out about the abuse they dish out.
4. They will escalate the harassment to either punish you or intimidate you.
Understand that the bully is afraid of being exposed. Moreover, they’re scared of facing accountability and losing face. Therefore, they will stop at nothing to silence you.
‘You see? Bullies have their image to protect. And, when something or someone threatens to shatter that image, they become unhinged.
5. Calling the Bluff:
He will justify himself with full conviction.
- “If you didn’t always make trouble, I wouldn’t have had to hurt you!”
- “If you weren’t so ignorant, I wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”
- “You made me do it because you always do this when you should do that!”
- “If you would just do this, I wouldn’t have to do that!”
- “You won’t shut up, so you deserve it!”
Isn’t it funny how they always seem to put it off on you? They love to blame you for their atrocious behavior, don’t they?
Also, they may make “you made me” statements.
- “You made me hurt you.”
- “You made me mad, so yeah, I hit you in the mouth.”
- “You make people want to punch you.”
The other person may even say that you “had it coming” or “deserved it.” No, you didn’t! Again, don’t believe a word of it!
They chose to behave the way that they did. You never made that decision for them. Moreover, it’s impossible to control another person’s actions. Only they have that kind of power.
Therefore, don’t allow them to make you feel guilty. Continue to report the harassment. And keep speaking out about it.
You must protect yourself by speaking just as loudly and with just as much conviction as the bully. Make plenty of noise because the wheel that squeaks loudest gets the grease!
6. Calling the Bluff:
They will slander you to everyone who will listen and try to turn others against you.
Again, understand that this bully is afraid of being exposed. Moreover, she is fearful of losing control over you. So she spreads rumors and lies to discredit you. They also do it to distract others from their appalling and embarrassing behavior. If they can make you look like you instigated it, then they get off scot-free.
You must understand that if the bully can make you look bad and turn everyone else against you, they reap several benefits.
- They can intimidate you into silence and avoid any future risks of exposure.
- Also, they can discredit you, make themselves look like the victim, and, therefore, gain attention and sympathy from other people.
- The bully can successfully cut you off from any support you might otherwise receive.
- They get the green light to bully you again later and with impunity.
- Moreover, they get to move up the social ladder and win more friends and allies.
- And, they get the satisfaction of maintaining power, domination, and control over you.
As goes the old political quote from World War II, “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.”
Understand that any smear campaign is designed to protect the guilty bullies from being exposed and shift blame onto innocent victims. It’s a tactic used since the beginning of time!
7. They will justify themselves.
- Well, I wouldn’t have punched him if he hadn’t looked at me the wrong way.
- She wouldn’t have gotten hurt if she’d acted right.
- If you’d only straighten up and fly right, you wouldn’t get beaten up all the time!
Bullies are forever making excuses for their rotten behavior. And, sadly, bystanders and witnesses fall for that garbage. But you don’t have to accept it.
So, don’t shut up no matter what! Continue to call out the bullies’ behavior! And if they react like any of the above, tell them like it is.
Instead of allowing them to silence you or going along with their hair-brained excuses, say this:
“The tirade isn’t going to work anymore,” or “Go ahead and lie all you want. Everybody knows this is only retaliation because I had the gall to expose your deplorable behavior! Right,(the bully’s name)? Is that what this is, (Bully’s name)?”
Be sure to say the bully’s name at the end of the above questions because that really shakes a bully when you put their name on it! If the bully says, “No!” Tell them in a fast and short tone, “Oh, yes, it is, and you know it, (Bully’s name)!”
Counter. Everything. They. Come. Back with!
8. Calling the Bluff:
They will threaten you with physical violence.
If they threaten to harm you physically, you must challenge that. Call their bluff. And be really to throw down if they put their hands on you.
In other words, if they hit you or shove you, haul off and punch them back. Remember that bullies don’t respond to diplomacy; they only respond to strength. Therefore, they will only back off if you give them a good whack in the nose.
This post is all about calling the bluff so that you know what to expect and how to handle any retaliation that bullies may throw at you.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. How to Stop a Bully: 9 Powerful Hacks You Can Use
2. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies
3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying
4. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap
