Tag: advice for victims of bullying

advice for victims of bullying

When You Look Good, You Feel Good: Why You Should Always Take Pride in Your Appearance

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When a person is a target of bullies, it’s too easy for that person to stop caring- about everything, including his appearance.

The reason for this is that when someone gets bullied for so long- once enough people have told them so many times over that they are nothing, that they aren’t good enough, that they have no value as a human being, and that they’re a waste of time, space and breathable air, they begin to believe it subconsciously.

They won’t even know it’s happening until it’s too late, and the contrary belief of themselves has already taken a foothold on their psyche. And when they believe something of themselves, whether it be a complete lie or truth, they will unwittingly live up to it.

bully angry girl victim

Understand that this change in a target happens ever so slowly. And before the person realizes it, they begin to neglect themselves. They neglect their appearance, their housework, even their health!

1. Targets will often isolate themselves and become shut-ins.

2. They fail to make themselves presentable.

3. They stop exercising and forego physical check-ups.

4. They withdraw from people and social gatherings.

5. They don’t get adequate sleep and nutrition.

6. Some overeat for comfort and gain weight.

7. Some stop eating and lose too much weight.

8. Some even begin using alcohol and drugs.

In short, they let themselves go!

These are the reasons why, if you’re a target of bullying, it’s even more important that you take care of yourself.

bullying

Bullying and life – pictured as a word Bullying and a wreck ball to symbolize that Bullying can have bad effect and can destroy life, 3d illustration

When I was a target of bullying, I stopped believing in myself too, for a while, only I didn’t neglect my appearance.  Instead, I got mad. Damn mad! And in my anger, I grew more determined to take care of myself. The more I was bullied, the better (and more flashy) I dressed. I also exercised to keep myself fit.

It was my way of thumbing my nose at the bullies- a poke in the eye to them, or a proverbial middle finger.

I became as a peacock fanning out her tail to show her beautiful colors. It was also a means for me to maintain what control I did have, which was control over my body and appearance. Also, I wanted to keep my self-esteem from completely bottoming out.

It was only one of the ways I fought like hell to hang on to my dignity and to maintain what I could of myself. And today, I believe it saved me in so many ways.

I may not have had control over how others viewed me. No one has that kind of control. 

I may not have had control over how others treated me.

I may not have had control over my reputation.

And I may not have had control over my physical well being as I got the snot beat out of me a few times.

But, what I did have was control over my hygiene and how I looked!

That was the one thing those creeps couldn’t have control of!

However, I knew so many other bullied people who give up on themselves, and it breaks my heart for them!

So, please! Please, don’t give up. Hang on to what power you do have with everything in you! You’ll thank yourself for it later. I promise!

Bullied? Whatever You Do, Don’t Wallow in Self-Pity.

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It all comes down to you. You are responsible for your successes and your happiness. Happiness is a choice, not something that magically happens to only certain people.

It’s okay to cry when someone hurts you. It’s okay to be hurt, angry, and sad. In fact, you need to allow yourself to feel. Allow yourself to get angry. Permit yourself to cry it out. Just don’t unpack your things and live in that dark place.

Never let the cruel words and actions of a bully alter your outlook on the world around you, humanity, and especially yourself! Know that bullies’ behavior does not reflect on you! It reflects on the bullies themselves and their issues. Although I realize that this is not always easy.

Understand that your bullies are cowards and fighting demons of their own, albeit the wrong way, and their mistreatment of you is only proof of it.

In most cases, the reason why bullies point out your shortcomings is to distract people’s attention from their own. They’re so afraid that somebody will find out what their weaknesses are. Bullies are notorious for projecting their flaws onto their targets to keep other people from seeing theirs. It’s pathetic when you think real hard about it.

And trust me, we all have imperfections. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t. Distraction and projection are how bullies operate. They would be the top two tactics in the “How To Bully” handbook if there ever were such a guide. Understand that bullies bully out of only, fear and insecurity!

Child abuse with the eye of a young boy or girl with a single tear crying due to the fear of violence or depression caused by hunger and poverty and being afraid of bullying at school.

So, never let your tormentors decide how you should feel about yourself. And never allow them to cause you to feel sorry for yourself because self-pity is so unattractive and socially repelling! I’m telling you this because there were times when I made the same mistake, and the only thing it did was bring more misery and repel people. So I tried something different. I began countering everything with comebacks, affirmations, and positive thoughts.

Only when you begin to counter your bullies’ statements will their words not have as significant of an effect on your self-esteem. In other words, your new, positive self-talk will become a buffer to the bullies’ insults and name-calling, and you won’t be nearly as hurt or saddened by it.

Remember that no matter what anyone says about you, you must look in the mirror every single day and convince yourself that you are the best thing God created. That you are the best, and sometimes, the best are the ones who get mistreated. If you must have this self-talk every minute of every day, then do it because any positive internal dialogue has to be consistent to sink in.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try positive self-talk and praising yourself for all your good qualities and know in your heart the good you bring to this world and the blessing you are to the people who love you. Because the more you love yourself and the less self-pity you live in, the easier it will be to find solutions.

You’re worth it! Don’t you think?