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How to Deal with Workplace Bullies: 9 Ways to Outflank Them

Want to know how to deal with workplace bullies? Here is everything you need to know to keep yourself safe from predators on the job.

how to deal with workplace bullies

Workplaces are rife with bullies. If you have run that rat race long enough, you’ve probably ended up in the crosshairs of workplace abusers.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with workplace bullies so that you can take control of your career and win at work.

Once you know all about these crucial steps, you will claim victory over workplace bullies and succeed at your job.

This post is all about how to deal with workplace bullies so that you can stand up to them the right way, keep your job, and save your career.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies

Putting up with workplace bullies is not fun. It makes your job much harder than it needs to be. Moreover, it can ruin your entire career.

I went through a stint of it myself. However, I was lucky. You can read my story here. 

I have seen countless good, competent employees lose their livelihoods because of workplace bullying and mobbing. Therefore, without further delay, here is a list of what you can do if bullies are making your job a living hell.

1. Document every bullying INCIDENT.

It is your responsibility to gather evidence that your coworkers are bullying you. In any bullying situation, you’re on your own. No one is coming to rescue you.

Even if you report bullying to HR, it’s likely they won’t help you. In fact, they may hurt you in the long run. Why?

Although they may be in a position to help you, it doesn’t mean they will. If nothing else, remember this. Most people only have their own interests in mind. And HR is operating for the company’s interests, not yours.

Therefore, you must be the one to prove that bullying occurred. That means gathering your own evidence. How victims of bullying mess up is that they rely on others to investigate bullying for them.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies:

Why Document Bullying?

In the workplace, you will likely deal with psychological bullying, which is difficult to prove. Therefore, keeping your own documentation of every incident is the most important thing you can do.

Here are 7 reasons to document bullying.

  • Documenting helps you keep a record of workplace bullying.
  • A bullying journal is admissible in court.
  • It helps you establish a pattern
  • It helps you keep your story straight.
  • You’re least likely to ramble when you report it.
  • It gives you a voice
  • It’s therapeutic

The best way to document is to use the 5W Method. In other words, record what, who, when, where, and why. And if possible, also write down how.

2. Wear a body cam.

You can wear a body cam. However, be forewarned. This is illegal in some states. Therefore, you must make sure that the laws in your state allow it.

Some states have a one-party consent law. This means that you can use a body cam because it only requires the consent of one party – that’s you.

On the other hand, laws in other states require two-party consent. This means that you must also have your bullies’ consent.

The last thing you want is to give your bullies grounds to sue you. Therefore, research your state’s laws first.

And if your state doesn’t allow it, documenting it should be enough.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies:

3. Save any inflammatory emails, texts, posts, or messages.

If people bully you via email or other digital means, save them to at least 3 different flash drives. Why three or more?

Because you need copies just in case HR decides to conveniently misplace their copy. Then keep them in different locations.

For instance, you can keep one in a fireproof safe at home, one in your office, and one with a trusted family member.

4. take pictures of all your finished work.

Workplace bullies are notorious for telling supervisors that you aren’t doing your job. Therefore, if possible, use your smartphone to photograph all your completed work.

The good thing about phone pics is that they are time-stamped. So there’s another layer of protection.

Take pictures of forms you fill out, company invoices, emails you send, and other forms of evidence.

You can also do this with manual labor. For example, if you work in the laundry department at a nursing home, you can take pictures of empty linen barrels.

You can also take pictures of the linen closet after you’ve stocked it with clean linens.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies:

5. Keep Backup copies of any invoices and other paperwork that PROVE you did your job.

When your job involves paperwork, it’s important to keep copies in a secret file. You do this in case the originals get lost or, ahem, stolen.

6. keep a hidden camera in your office.

Many workplace bullies, especially bosses, like to sneak into your office and snoop through your desk and computer. They may even steal things.

Therefore, if your state’s laws allow it, keep a spy camera in your office. Many spy cams are tiny and not noticeable. Therefore, you can hide them anywhere to bust thieves and snoops.

7. Keep a CyA file in a safe place.

Smart employees always keep a CYA file. What is that? You may ask.  It’s a file that covers your ass. When you deal with bullying at work, having this kind of file is of the utmost importance.

Therefore, you can keep all the evidence you gather from tips 1 – 6 in this file. It’s smart because it helps you keep everything together neatly.

Again, make copies of at least three. And store them in different locations.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies:

8. Don’t share anything you don’t want others to know.

Too many people make the carnal mistake of sharing too much information. This is risky for anyone.

However, if you’re dealing with workplace bullying, it’s not only risky, it’s the kiss of death. Workplace bullies have ways of twisting information that’s innocent.

 Of course, some information is just off limits at work. However, if you are a target of bullying, you’re better off sharing as little about your life as humanly possible.

This means, to anyone. Even your best friend.

Why? Because when people are bullying you, you can’t afford to trust anyone. It doesn’t matter how close you and your only friend at work are.

Bullies have ways of using even innocent details as fodder to defame you with.

What never to share at work.

Here is a list of things that are better kept private.

Your sex life, or lack of.

Not only is it just not smart, but it’s also distasteful. Anytime you publicly talk about your sex life, you make yourself look as if you have no class.

Moreover, bullies and other office parasites will take it and run with it. So, do yourself a favor. Don’t do it!

Your sex life is none of anyone else’s business. Keep it in your bedroom.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies:

A person in your family who has a drug addiction.

Family business is better kept in the family.  Also, workplace bullies will use it as fodder and tell everyone who’ll listen that you come from a family of druggies.

Therefore, keep it where it belongs.

Any medical conditions or diseases.

No one needs to know your medical history. If you disclose any medical issues, supervisors with no integrity will use it as an excuse to fire you.

Therefore, keep them to yourself.

Any mental illnesses.

This is a definite no-no! Any disclosure of mental illnesses will immediately end your credibility not only as an employee, but as a person.

There is too much stigma around mental illness. If you tell others that you have one, no one will ever look at you the same again.

Moreover, workplace bullies will use it against you. Don’t give them a chance to weaponize it against you. Keep it to yourself.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies:

Any legal troubles- even as minor as traffic tickets.

Again, bullies will only weaponize this information against you. Even worse, they’ll embellish on it to make it bigger.

It’s not worth the price you’ll pay later. Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know.

Family issues- divorce, child custody, births, deaths, etc.

If it’s negative family issues, workplace bullies will find ways to weaponize them. On the other hand, if it’s positive, they’ll only say you’re making it up.

They may even accuse you of bragging. It’s better not to share anything, good or bad, that happens outside of work.

Your past (if you’re old enough to have one).

This goes without saying. No one needs to know about your past, period. Bullies can use negative things about your past against you.

For example, no one needs to know that you spent time in jail for fighting at a kegger when you were in high school.

Just the same, you shouldn’t tell anyone about vacationing in Europe three years ago. Especially if people bully you at work! You don’t want to incite jealousy.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies:

Past abuse you may have suffered.

This is also private. If you share this, no one will feel sorry for you. Moreover, they won’t admire you if it made you stronger or if you overcame the abuse. Instead, most of your coworkers won’t care.

Moreover, if you’re a victim of workplace bullying, your bullies will only weaponize it. It’s better to keep it under your hat.

Your personal info (SS number, credit card number, birth date, home address, etc).

This is a no-brainer. Don’t share this information with anyone! It’s not worth the risk! Keep it to yourself.

Email and passwords to social media accounts.

This goes without saying. Do you really want to risk someone hacking into your social media account and posting porn all over your page?

Keep this private.

Names of your family members.

If you think that some bullies won’t search for and go after their victims’ family members, you’re dead wrong. Although this doesn’t happen often, it does happen. So, don’t chance it.

No one, especially a workplace bully, needs to know who your family members are.

How to Deal with Workplace Bullies:

your daughter’s beauty pageant or your son’s perfect grades.

Again, even in non-workplace bullying situations, people will accuse you of bragging. Also, you may incite jealousy among workmates, which may lead to workplace bullying.

So, don’t mention it.

Your views about the recent scandal at  work.

This also goes without saying. Keep any opinions on any workplace scandals to yourself.

Your hobbies and interests.

Let’s face it, no one cares about your hobbies and interests. It’s just an unpleasant part of human nature.

Moreover, workplace bullies will find a way to attack or ridicule you with this information. So, don’t bring it up.

The TV show or movie you watched last night, especially if it’s a slasher show or one filled with hot-buttered sex.

Again, no one cares what you watched in the theater or on TV. Moreover, if you watched a slasher film, workplace bullies will use it to say that you have the mind of a serial killer.

Also, if you watched a sex-laden film, such as 50 Shades of Grey, they say that you’re a sex-crazed pervert. Therefore, keep these things to yourself.

Never talk about politics! Ever! That’s a no-no subject!

With cancel culture on the rise today, this is the worst thing you can do. And you can believe that workplace bullies would love nothing more than to use politics to destroy you.

It’s not worth the risk. Never talk about politics!

 Workplace bullies are already looking for dirty laundry. So, why air out yours? The less they know about you and your life, the better.

9. Be careful how you dress.

Last but not least, never dress provocatively. And don’t look like a slob. Avoid flashy clothing that makes you look like you have money. Only dress appropriately for the job.

In conclusion

You may not be able to avoid workplace bullies. Why? Because bullies are good at gaslighting. However, you can reduce the amount of fodder bullies have to weaponize. And you just might outsmart them and overcome bullying altogether.

If you feel the bullying is about to escalate into mobbing, it’s not too late to learn the signs.

This post is all about how to deal with workplace bullies so that you can become less OF a victim and outsmart those who wish to sabotage you on the job.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Prove Workplace Bullying: 3 Types of Proof You Need

2.  Confronting Bullying in the Workplace: Endurance and Resilience

3. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

4. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

5. Mobbed at Work: Signs You’re About to be Mobbed on the Job

when bullying progresses to mobbing psychology

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing

What happens when bullying progresses to mobbing? What are the signs that it’s headed that way? Read here to find out.

when bullying progresses to mobbing

In this post, you will learn how to tell when bullying progresses to mobbing.

Once you learn all these tell-tale signs, you will be able to get out of the environment before things get too toxic.

This post outlines the signs you’ll notice when bullying progresses to mobbing so you can begin creating an exit plan before the abuse reaches a fever pitch.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing

Mobbing is bullying by large groups. It happens when everyone in a school, workplace, or community collectively harasses a targeted individual.

The mob often acts under the influence of a ringleader in a position of power. Mobbing usually happens out of retaliation.

It begins when a bullying victim gets fed up with abuse and finally speaks up about it. There are other names for mobbing, such as Collective Bullying.

Remember that bullies and their followers expect you to stay quiet. Moreover, they demand that you bow down to and submit to it.

And when you finally assert your right to be treated as a human being, they punish you for it.

How do you describe it?

A large group of people (a mob) targets you because you opened your mouth. Over time, they become increasingly aggressive. Moreover, the number of attackers grows until you’re completely isolated.

Understand that this is coordinated. It’s designed to strip you of power. They reinforce a shared negative view of you, regardless of your prior reputation.

As vicious gossip circulates, destructive labels and damaging accusations will follow. And they only further alienate you from everyone else.

The mob will expand to include several teachers or managers and large numbers of students or coworkers. What’s shocking is that even the sweetest, most compassionate people suddenly become mean and nasty.

And they won’t think they’re participants in bullying. Instead, they’ll see themselves as defenders against an evil enemy.

They’ll justify their behavior. Why? Because if they saw themselves as bullying participants, it would go against their sense of decency.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

In groups, people change quickly.

Groups change people. Always! Why? Because they feel they must conform. Mobbing is the most damaging because you quickly lose support.

More people jump on the hate bandwagon until everyone closes ranks, and there’s no one left who will help you. And, once bullying escalates to mobbing, it’s nearly impossible to stop.

Chronic Bullying

Chronic bullying is bullying that has persisted over time. When bullying has gone on for six months or longer, people grow comfortable with the bullying.

Therefore, they will skyrocket the torment and pursue you obsessively and nonstop. Why? Because there’s no accountability. And if there’s no accountability, they have no incentive to stop.

As a result, the bullies become cocky. In fact, they get so brazen that the cruelty only grows.

Also, bystanders’ apathy grows until they lose all empathy. Then, they can only feel blind hatred toward you. It gets so bad that anything they do to you, no matter how dangerous, is acceptable.

Why? Because, to them, you have no value, and your life is worth nothing. The scary thing is that it progresses more quickly than you realize. Therefore, you must find ways to address it in the early stages.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

The bullying seems to take on a life of its own.

As mentioned earlier, the bullies have followers and minions backing them up. They enlist flying monkeys to do their dirty work.

Before long, the bullying becomes so ingrained and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own. Bullies become drunk on their own power. Their hatred seems to be all they can focus on.

Instead of controlling their behavior, the behavior controls them. The bullies are blinded by senseless rage. And they’re so addicted to power that the abuse becomes constant. This is a dangerous combination.

Understand that when bullying progresses to mobbing, bullies don’t see you as a human being. As far as they’re concerned, you don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as they do.

This is why mobbing can be especially dangerous. Once it reaches this level, you run the risk of either dying by suicide or being murdered.

Get out of the environment as soon as you figure out that they’re mobbing you. Transfer to another school, go to work for another company, or move to another area. It’s the only way you will find peace.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

The Process Step-By-Step

If you’ve ever been a target of mobbing, you know firsthand how destructive it is. Mobbing is hard to remedy.

The reason is that the tactics are difficult to name or describe. Another reason is that it can leave you so distraught that you’re unable to think clearly.

Here’s something I want you to realize. A mobbing campaign is nowhere near as tricky as it looks.

You’d be amazed at just how simple it is to smear someone. It’s so easy that it shouldn’t be so effective, but it is!

Here’s a chronological, step-by-step recap of how bullies do it and succeed at it:

1. Target Selection.

Here’s a scenario of mobbing in the workplace.

The bullies at XYZ company dislike a specific lady who refuses to conform to their standards. In the past, the bullies successfully influenced everyone else. They have gotten them to submit.

Then, along comes Cindy. She’s beautiful and extremely likable. Confident and outgoing, she makes friends easily.

However, she does her own thing. Cindy is fiercely independent, and this threatens the bullies’ power.

She doesn’t realize that by doing her thing, she’s enraging the bullies. So, she goes on about her business. She plans for her future and achieves good things.

Also, she gets loads of positive attention and praise from others because she’s so successful and well-liked.

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

2. Probing.

The bullies watch Cindy closely. They consistently clock her to study her behavior to anticipate her reactions. They figure out her likes and dislikes. Moreover, they find what excites her.

3. Smear Campaign

Next, the bullies begin to smear Cindy. They gossip and spread ugly rumors about her.

Through their lies, they train others to expect a specific type of behavior from Cindy. They point out specific behaviors when they occur.

The bullies then associate Cindy’s completely innocent behavior with something bad or evil. For example, Cindy is sweet, playful, and likes to engage in a little banter.

The bullies watch Cindy banter with people at work. She playfully calls someone a “dummy” or a “goofball,” but others know that it’s all harmless. Cindy is a genuinely kind person.

Therefore, she’s only teasing.

4. The bullies begin making offhand comments.

They remark that her kindness is only an attempt to kiss ass. They say that she wants something from people. Therefore, they plant a little seed of doubt.

Maybe Cindy thinks the people around her really are dummies. She only disguises it under a veil of fun jokes and playfulness. And she’s funny.

The bullies also make statements that she thinks she’s cute. They tell others that she thinks she’s smarter than everyone else. Then repeat, repeat, repeat!

To quote a propaganda minister to a well-known dictator in history, “Tell a lie once, and it remains a lie. Tell a lie a thousand times, and it becomes the truth.”

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

5. The repeated narrative begins to stick.

The next time others see her being kind to and playfully bantering with someone, she doesn’t look so cute. The banter isn’t so funny anymore.

Now, people see a side of her they can’t believe they never noticed before.

Feeling smug with gratification, the bullies look at each other, then at Cindy. They wear smirks on their crooked faces and try the same thing over again. The progress is slow, but it’s working.

6. One by One, others buy into the narrative.

 And before you know it, everyone wonders what they ever saw in her to begin with. They start to feel negative toward this poor girl.

7. You begin noticing that something is off.

Cindy begins to pick up on the negative vibes. She withdraws a little.

She doesn’t speak to people as much as she used to. And she doesn’t understand what she did to bring it about.

The bullies notice that Cindy is more distant than usual. Doing what they do best, they use it against her. So, they quickly point this out to everyone.

“Hey, look! Do you see that? Now, what did we tell you? She really does think we’re all dummies! She really does think she’s better than the rest of us!”

“And her ass-kissing didn’t work, so now she’s too good to speak to anyone!”

When Bullying Progresses to Mobbing:

8. they use your reaction as a weapon.

Cindy’s withdrawal only inflames everyone’s feelings of resentment. Although her becoming distant is only out of self-protection, others mistake it for smugness and arrogance.

9. It gets worse until you leave to protect yourself.

The bullying only snowballs from there. It gets worse and worse over time until it morphs into mobbing. Understand that we’re all human, and we make mistakes. Therefore, we misjudge others all the time.

Mobbing can happen anywhere, not only in the workplace, but also in school. It’s even worse for kids because they are still developing. Moreover, kids who are mobbed at school get bullied by teachers. And it is a cycle.

Bullies condition an entire group to see any quality in a particular person as a bad thing. And that’s when a smear campaign is most effective.

Therefore, everyone, even those who aren’t bullies, can quickly turn cruel. And they repeat the same cruelty, over and over again.

When bullying progresses to mobbing, it’s unstoppable. And the only way you can take your life back is to leave the environment.

Bullying always escalates if it’s left unchecked. And when something bad is left unchecked, there’s no incentive to hide it, much less stop it.

The post gave you the details of what happens when bullying progresses to mobbing so that you will recognize the warning signs and get out before it affects your mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

2. Bullying or Mobbing?

3. Mobbing in Schools: 9 Warning Signs Bullying is Out of Control

4. The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

5. Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student: School Mobbing

bullying or mobbing difference

Bullying or Mobbing?

‘Want to know if it’s bullying or mobbing? Here are all the signs you need to know.

bullying or mobbing

Bullying becomes Chronic when the bullying has gone on over time and has escalated such that it has now reached a dangerous level. In short, bullying has reached epic proportions.

This is when bullying can become mobbing.

In this post, you will learn how to tell whether you suffer bullying or mobbing so that you can recognize the difference.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to see the difference and take the appropriate steps to ensure your safety.

This post is all about how to tell if what you’re enduring is bullying or mobbing. This is so you can decide whether you should keep fighting or cut your losses and leave the environment to be safe again.

Bullying or Mobbing

When there’s chronic bullying, bullies have grown so comfortable with bullying you that they skyrocket the torment. Also, they will pursue you obsessively and non-stop.

Where there’s chronic bullying, there’s no accountability. And where there’s no accountability, there’s simply no incentive to stop.

What is chronic bullying?

Chronic bullying is bullying that has gone on for a long period of time. This type of bullying has usually been happening for several years.

Chronic bullying happens once the bullies’ behavior has gone ignored and unaddressed. In other words, no one has spoken up about it. Moreover, no one has ever held your bullies accountable for the way they’ve treated you.

Therefore, the bullies have gotten away with it. And, because they’ve gotten away with it, they’ve grown more bold in their attacks.

In other words, your bullies have become brazen. In fact, they’ve become so cocky, and encouraged that their actions have grown in strength, frequency, and cruelty over several years.

This is because others have have probably supported your bullies’ behavior. Therefore, they only encourage them to bully you more.

Bullying or Mobbing:

Chronic Bullying Becomes Mobbing.

After bullies have bullied you for many years, their apathy toward you has grown until they have lost all empathy. In that, they’ve come to feel nothing but blind hatred and fury toward you.

They now have the attitude that anything they do to you, no matter how cruel, is okay. Why? Because, to them, you have no value, and your life is worth nothing.

Understand that when bullying becomes mobbing, they don’t look at you as a human being. They only see you as so worthless and inferior that, you don’t deserve oxygen, much less any respect.

This is why this type of bullying is dangerous. Because, if you’re a victim of it, you have a high probability of either dying by suicide or murder. Yes, bullies do murder their victims.

When it’s bullying, you may have one person or a small group bullying you. When it’s mobbing, almost everyone bullies you.

Bullies who bully to these extremes usually have droves of followers and minions backing them up. As time comes on,  they enlist more members of their following to do their dirty work.

The bullying gets this out of control, it becomes so ingrained and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own.

The bullies are seemingly drunk on their own power and hatred that the bullying and torment of you seem to be all the bullies can focus on. Everyone else bullies you too.

They’re like a swarm of  angry bees that won’t stop chasing you and stinging you.

Bullying or Mobbing:

The Swarm Effect.

When bullies target you, others may also target you too. For instance, if one person bullies you, then soon, you’ll have two bullying you. Then, four, then six! And the number of bullies continues to increase.

And, before you know it, everyone is targeting you.

The reason others jump in on the fun of bullying you is because they want to feel like they’re a part of a group.

Again, when everyone begins bullying you, that’s when you know that the bullying has progressed to mobbing.

Other signs of mobbing.

Other signs of mobbing include high emotions like, intense anger and blind hatred. In other words, the mob can no longer control themselves.

Instead of the mob controlling their evil emotions and actions, their feelings and actions control them! The bullies are controlled by hatred and blinded by senseless rage.

They have become so addicted to power and control that the bullying becomes constant. It has to for the bullies to get their fix and maintain the high that power gives them.

Understand that, by the time bullying becomes mobbing, others no longer see you as a human being. Instead, they see you as so worthless and inferior that you don’t deserve the time of day, much less any respect.

As far as they’re concerned, you don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as them! In fact, you don’t deserve to breathe, period!

This is why chronic bullying can be especially dangerous to the target because the victim runs the chance of either breaking and dying of suicide or being murdered by their bullies.

Bullying or Mobbing:

Why mobbing can be the most dangerous.

When bullying progresses to mobbing, things can get dangerous very quickly. Also, mobbing is difficult to control.

This is because, in a case of mobbing, the mob’s emotions are so out of control that any logic goes out the window. Moreover, it blocks their ability to reason.

Their logical brain shuts down and their primal brain takes over. They’re like a pack of wild dogs who surround their prey.

Therefore, the mob’s first instinct is to tear you apart!

The power of vicious people in large groups.

Strength always comes in numbers. Moreover, when you have a large number of people who are out to get you, you don’t have a chance.

One person can’t stand up against a mob of five or more people. And most schools have anywhere from a hundred to five thousand students. Companies can have 10 employees or they can employ over ten thousand workers.

Again, if you’re mobbed in a school of five hundred students or a company with a thousand workers, you don’t have a prayer!

Why? Because a large mob has a collective power that’s impossible to stand against.

Bullying or Mobbing:

So, what can you do?

This is why it’s so important to get out anytime bullying becomes mobbing. Get out of that environment. You can transfer to another school or go to work for another company. Also, you can move to another area.

Again, once bullying becomes mobbing, it becomes so out of control that it takes on a life of it’s own. There’s no stopping it at this stage.

Therefore, the only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Just disappear. Go somewhere quiet.

Never stay in an environment that hates you. People in a mob aren’t worth fighting. Moreover, it isn’t worth the cost to your mental health! The only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Only then will you be safe and have peace of mind.

This post was all how to tell if what you endure is bullying or mobbing so that you can take the appropriate measures to protect your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

2. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

3. When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger 

when bullying gets out of control at school

When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger

‘What happens when bullying gets out of control? Here are all the signs that you’re in danger.

when bullying gets out of control

When bullying reaches new levels, it can feel as if the abuse has taken on a life of it’s own. This is when things become dangerous really fast.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what to look for when bullying gets out of control.

Once you learn all about these signs and symptoms, you will be compelled to make the appropriate decisions to get out of the situation.

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control so that you can take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control

When bullies select a victim to abuse, their bullying tends to escalate quickly. Moreover, it can last for years. In fact, others may join in. After so long, people grow comfortable with abusing you. Therefore, bullying becomes a natural occurrence.

When this happens, bullying can become unstoppable no matter what you do to defend yourself. Moreover, things can become dangerous, even life-threatening if you aren’t aware of the signs.

Here are all the signs that the bullying you suffer has reached dangerous levels.

1. Your Bullies Become Brazen

You’ll notice that your bullies getting cocky. They’ll do their bullying out in the open, for everyone to see.

In fact, they’ll no longer try to hide it. Why? Because they fear no consequences.

Those in positions of power won’t stop the bullying. They have no intentions of protecting you. Therefore, there’s little chance they’ll hold the bullies responsible for their behavior.

Make no mistake! When your bullies bully you in plain sight, in front of peers and authority, it’s a bad sign.

It means that you’re in grave danger. Why? Because, when the abuse reaches this level, there’s no limit to the brutality your bullies will inflict.

When bullying gets out of control, there’s no incentive to stop. Then Bullies quickly become full of themselves.

It’s the same with criminals. When there’s no accountability for wrongdoing, it only emboldens them to do more of it.

And their arrogance only sends these unspoken messages:

  • “We can do whatever we want and there’s nothing you can do.”
  • “Who’s going to stop us?”
  • “Who’s going to help you. You’re ours now.”

Most bullies would stop if they thought someone would hold them accountable. Or, they’d at least try to hide their behavior.

No one wants to have to answer for anything. Moreover, they don’t want the shame and humiliation that comes with it.

Therefore, they either wouldn’t do the bad deeds at all, or they would do their dirt behind closed doors.

Lack of accountability only emboldens bad people.

On the other hand, once a bully has gotten away with it a few times, they catch on that there are no consequences. They get the message that what they’re doing is okay.

Therefore, they have no shame in continuing the behavior.

And once there’s complete impunity, it’s no holds barred. In other words, your bullies are unrestrained in what they could do to you.

So, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re shit out of luck.

it sets a precedent.

It sets a bad standard for people who wouldn’t normally mistreat another person. In that, it encourages them to jump on the bandwagon and bully you too.

Why? Because bystanders notice the bullies getting away with abusing you. Therefore, they’ll think it’s okay to bully you. In fact, they’ll think that it’s the in-thing to do. So, they’ll be more than happy to join in on the torment.

It’s the science of group behavior.

2. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

Others become Outraged when you stand up for yourself.

When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, bullies will often retaliate. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Even bystanders will be pissed at you.

In fact, they either won’t help you or they join in.

Why do bullies become angry when you defend yourself? Because you put them in a weaker position and threaten their power.

Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

Moreover, it will offend others as well.

Why? Because, once bullying you has become the norm, it’s gone on for a long time. People have grown comfortable with seeing bullies abuse you.

And once people get comfortable with something, they resist anyone that tries to change it.

3. People Believe anything bad about you, no matter how ridiculous the lie may sound.

If you suffer bullying, you’ve probably had bullies tell the most outrageous and ridiculous lies about you. Moreover, the lies may be laughable at best.

And shockingly, everyone in the place will probably believe it! It will seem as if everyone around you is smoking crack.

Why? Because you’ll wonder how they can believe such tripe!

People will believe the big, outlandish lies before they accept the little white lies. For example, others might hear something huge and horrible about a certain person from someone they trust.

Maybe it comes from someone who has a little bit of power. They may feel shock and disbelief at first. However, they’ll eventually believe it.

But, why do they believe it? It’s because the penalty for severe wrongdoing is so big that people don’t want to think that anyone would tell such a big fat lie about someone if there isn’t some truth to it.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

IF someone is audacious enough to tell such a bold lie, we’re more likely to believe it.

We cling to the belief that if a person is audacious enough to make such an accusation about another person, then somewhere, there must be evidence to back it up.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t dare make such bold accusations and risk someone proving them wrong!

So, we hold on to the idea that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Moreover, we allow caution and speculation to supersede any logic. And if we expect trouble to come from a specific place, that’s where we’re going to look.

And when we look for a specific thing, we usually find it.

Also, if a lie goes against the target’s character, we’re more likely to believe it. Why? Because any story of hypocrisy has a certain amount of shock value and entertainment to it. That is, as long as the story is about someone else and not us.

We’re more prone to believe a big fat lie because it frightens the crap out of us. Therefore, when people hear a lie so big and outrageous about you, it makes them wonder if they ever really knew you at all.

And the idea that someone they know could do such a horrible thing scares people to death.

4. You will be emotional and people will weaponize it.

Understand that anytime you suffer bullying, you’re at your absolute worst! Anyone would be a total emotional wreck under that kind of pressure.

Anytime a person is bullied by everyone, it doesn’t matter how strong they are. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how brave, how beautiful, nor how awesome their personalities are.

The bullying will eventually exhaust them and take them down.

In other words, if enough people bully you for long enough, you’ll only be able to withstand it for so long. Why? Because you’re only human. And no human being can hold up under that kind of stress for long.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, if they’re determined to break you, they’ll increase the abuse until they get the outcome they want.

You will be overwhelmed with so many emotions. In fact, you’ll have paranoia. And, with good reason!

Therefore, they’ll twist it and make you look unstable.

And, why not? They’ve seen you morph from a cheerful person to a stressed out, hot mess of a train wreck who’s barely able to function.

5. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

No One Will Help you.

If you’re a kid that other kids bully in school, you know that schools are supposed to protect children. Moreover, some schools do help targets of bullying.

I’ve read quite a few stories with this happy ending. And to those schools, I extend my love and respect.

However, I’ve also read and heard stories in which the school either failed or refused to help the victim. They only sided with the bullies.

I also found this out years ago from experience. Sadly, this ending is much more common than the first.

Therefore, if you are an object of bullying at your school, do take the proper channels to address the problem. Report the bullying to the teacher, principal, or district.

However, if the school does nothing about it, sweeps it under the rug, or worse, blames you, don’t let it surprise you. And don’t let it shock you if you face retaliation not only from the bullies but from school staff as well.

In most cases, schools side with bullies.

Understand that in these cases where the school doesn’t act on your behalf, it is because the school district has their own interests in mind.

Many schools only care about their sports programs. They care about how many points an athlete can score for their team and getting their teams into the playoffs.

Also, they care about how many kids they can send to colleges.

Another thing to consider is that school bullies likely have connections with several local politicians and other high-ranking officials. Also, many bullies excel academically.

Or, they may be are star athletes. Therefore, they make the school look good.

And if a student makes a school look good, why would they hold them accountable for bullying some throw-away kid?

Seasoned bullies also tend to be exceptionally socially intelligent. In other words, they know how to ingratiate themselves into the good graces of teachers and school staff.

Moreover, they’re also wordsmiths who talk a good game. They’re experts at feigning victimhood when you report them. They’re also good at explaining everything away, and rationalizing their bad behavior.

What they’re best at is making you look like the bully. Therefore, you must thing of these things when the school fails to respond to your pleas for help.

This is why you must do your own investigations and gather your own evidence. You must document each bullying incident to the letter and record it if the laws in your area allow.

But don’t give up. Remember. You are worth fighting for!

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control and how to recognize it so that you can can the appropriate steps needed to ensure your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

4. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims