Want to know all the facts about selective outrage? Here are the truths you need to know.
When you suffer bullying, your bullies may hold you to standards that don’t apply to others. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the facts about selective outrage so that you can recognize it and stand up to it when it happens to you.
Once you learn all about these crucial truths, you will be able to see them as they happen and protect yourself.
This post will give you all the facts about selective outrage so that you’ll have the knowledge to call it out when you see it.
Facts About Selective Outrage
Selective outrage is a tool for bullies and a weapon against victims.
1. Selective outrage isn’t about morality. It’s about controlling perception, protecting high status, and punishing dissent.
In short, selective outrage is about keeping you in your place. Bullies use selective outrage to keep you from speaking up. As long as they keep you silent, you don’t speak against their narrative.
Moreover, it keeps them beyond reproach. Selective outrage isn’t only a bullying tactic, it’s a tool for social control.
2. The best way to spot it is to know your worth.
The importance of loving yourself cannot be overstated. Once you know your worth, selective outrage becomes much clearer. Therefore, you stop internalizing double standards.
When you have self-love, you stop asking, “What did I do wrong?” Instead, you start asking, “Why do they only enforce these rules with me?”
And when this happens, it’s much easier to call it out.
Facts About Selective Outrage:
3. It is often organized, even if it is unspoken or unwritten.
It rarely operates alone. Therefore, it’s a coordinated attack. In the bullying dynamic, several people play their part. Here are the different parts people play in selective outrage.
- Loud moral-enforcers
- Quiet enforcers
- Concerned witnesses
- Authorities who involve themselves at the wrong time.
the loud moral-enforcer.
These people are the moral grandstanders of the mob. They are the leaders. Moreover, they are “righteous hypocrites.” Why? Because they will condemn the same thing in you that they allow those they like to get away with.
They may also give those they dislike less than they do you a free pass. But see this for what it is. It’s a blatant double standard.
And call it out. They may lash out worse when you do. But know that they get angrier because they know that you’re telling the truth, and their anger is only proof of that.
the Quiet Enforcers.
These are often those who silently choose to obey the double standards. They are those who choose not to act or speak in ways that go against those so-called standards.
Facts about Selective Outrage:
Concerned Witnesses.
The concerned bystanders are those who witness the unequal outrage. They are fully aware of the bias against you. However, they usually stay silent because they don’t want to suffer the same fate as you do.
Better you than them.
Authorities who INVOLVE themselves at the wrong time.
It’s not always planned, but it’s a social alliance. Groups will automatically protect the dominating narrative. This is why the outrage is usually contagious. It spreads like a communicable disease.
When those in authority intervene, they often come in at the tail end of the confrontation. In other words, they may not have seen the bullies provoke you. But they see you acting in self-defense.
Therefore, they label you the aggressor and punish you.
4. the outrage isn’t triggered by your behavior, it’s triggered by a threat to someone’s status.
You usually trigger selective outrage when you…
- assert a boundary
- Stop complying
- Stop trying to explain yourself
- Quit apologizing
- Start getting a little bit of respect
Facts About Selective Outrage:
Asserting boundaries
Bullies don’t recognize boundaries. Therefore, when you start setting boundaries, expect them to react angrily. Expect them to retaliate.
Refusal to comply
When you stop complying with their demands, bullies no longer control you. And when bullies lose control, they will become highly pissed. They will feign outrage to reinforce their power.
Refusal to explain.
When you stop explaining your behavior, you take back your power. Bullies are control freaks. Therefore, they won’t like it.
Refusal to apologize
When you stop apologizing, you don’t feel guilty for anything that isn’t worth guilt. Unnecessary guilt is what bullies count on for control. And when they can have it, you know what comes next.
getting respect
Usually, part of the bullies’ narrative is that their targets aren’t worthy of respect. And when people start respecting you, it contradicts that.
Moreover, when a bully’s narrative collapses, so does their power. If nothing else, understand this. It isn’t what you did, it’s what you stopped putting up with.
Facts About Selective Outrage:
5. Selective outrage breeds “moral inversion.”
Moral inversion is when the victim is portrayed as the aggressor. Here are several examples in the bulleted list below.
- If you defend yourself, you’re not protecting yourself; you’re escalating the bullying.
- If you document the bullying, you’re not gathering evidence; you’re obsessing over it.
- You withdraw? You’re not doing it to protect yourself from abuse; you’re doing it to be passive-aggressive. Or you’re being anti-social.
- If you’re friendly, you’re sucking up.
- If you laugh, you’re trying to get attention.
- Or, if you cry, you’re being dramatic.
- If you smile, you’re faking happiness.
- If you dress up, you must be trying to get a date or get laid.
This kind of outrage inverts reality. It is the most dangerous because it can cause you to doubt yourself. Moreover, bullies can use it for anything, and I mean anything you say and do, good or bad.
6. It takes advantage of social myths.
Selective outrage thrives on social myths.
- The louder a person is, the more they care.
- Anger is righteousness.
- If a large number of people are outraged, then it must be true.
- If you’re quiet and calm, you’re guilty of something.
- And you’re private, you’re trying to hide something.
Facts About Selective Outrage:
The louder a person is, the more they care.
This is false. However, too many people still fall for it. Emotion is often mistaken for passion, but it can be faked. And you can usually tell because body language doesn’t match the emotion. Here’s how to pick up on feigned emotions.
- The person appears to cry, but no tears are falling.
- The person smiles with their mouth but not their eyes.
- They’re angry in public but not in private.
- They only cry, scream, or shout when an audience is present.
- Calling you out for a certain behavior but staying silent when someone else displays the same behavior.
Anger is righteous.
In cases of selective outrage, bullies claim that their anger proves their righteousness. But does it really? Again, true anger means being consistent with your principles.
Therefore, if they condemn certain actions in one person and not in others, they have no principles. Therefore, they’re only posing for the cameras.
Also, many people fake outrage because you’re a safe target and it’s safe to do so. Or they may do it because it benefits them in some way. Again, the keyword here is “selective.”
Facts About Selective Outrage:
IF a large number of people are OUTRAGED, then it must be true.
Not so. People will do whatever they must to belong. And if that means faking outrage, they’ll do it to be part of a majority.
Remember that hate unites people faster than love. And hate inspires outrage. Therefore, many will feign outrage to gain unity with others. Some outrage is strictly for group cohesion.
It’s not that you did anything wrong. And it’s not that you hurt anyone. You’re probably innocent of any wrongdoing. However, they want to make you look evil. Then, they can use you as a tool to boost camaraderie among themselves.
If you’re quiet and calm, you’re guilty of something.
Sure, some stay quiet and calm to hide something they’ve done wrong. However, this isn’t true for everyone.
Lots of people are quiet and calm, and it’s a part of who they are. Moreover, being so is how many handle altercations, so this is not a bad thing.
However, bullies are experts at twisting anything to suit their narrative. And sadly, quiet and calm people are mistakenly judged as being sneaky. Many assume that they’re trying not to draw attention to themselves.
Hence the old saying, “It’s the quiet ones you should watch out for.”
Facts About Selective Outrage:
If you’re a private person, you’re trying to hide something.
Again, not true. If you’re a private person, it’s not about having anything to hide. It’s that some things just aren’t anyone else’s business.
You wouldn’t strip naked and run through the streets, revealing certain body parts. And the same goes for certain aspects of your life.
You have as much right to privacy as anyone else. Therefore, if there are certain things you don’t want people to know, that’s your prerogative.
So, don’t let anyone intimidate you into revealing personal details about your life. Guard your privacy with your life.
7. Selective outrage is performed.
In other words, it’s a bunch of emotional theater. Many people fake intense anger for show. And, it’s usually because it’s fashionable or because it benefits them.
But sadly, people will feel compelled to respond to emotional intensity rather than evidence.
8. This kind of outrage deliberately baits a reaction.
When bullies manufacture outrage, they also do it to lay a trap for you. They put you on the defensive and try to get you to over-explain. Moreover, they try to get you to apologize needlessly.
Or they may bait you into lashing out emotionally. You may also withdraw in shame. However, if you do any of these things, you will only confirm the narrative they’re trying to push. But if you stay calm, you expose the narrative.
Facts About Selective Outrage:
9. It is used to destroy your reputation.
- Creates a negative pattern of you in the minds of others
- Positions you as evil
- Adds stigma to your name.
Creates a negative pattern of you in the minds of others
Through this kind of outrage, bullies can take one bad incident and mold it into a defining character flaw. In this, they make you seem like a serial rule violator.
Moreover, they ignore context. In other words, it won’t matter whether someone was abusing you and you were defending yourself. All they’ll care about is that you stand up to them and “got out of line.” That you didn’t “know your place.”
It also strips away humanity. How? You may ask. Others no longer see you as a human being. Instead, they see you as a symbol of what behaviors they should avoid. Moreover, they won’t see you as just “wrong.” They’ll see you as morally inferior.
It can create a self-fulfilling prophecy. Put another way, you may react defensively and emotionally. And others will only take your justified reaction as proof that you really are an evil person.
When bullies blast you for behaviors others get away with, it trains others to watch for those behaviors. If done long enough, others will view even your neutral behavior through a negative lens. Moreover, they will ignore any good deeds that come from you.
Facts About Selective Outrage:
Positions you as evil
You will be under the influence of the Reverse Halo Effect or Horns effect. Any good you do will be looked at with suspicion. People will think your good behavior is only for ulterior motives.
This usually happens in the late stages of bullying. Therefore, unless you leave the environment, you won’t be able to change anything, no matter what.
Adds stigma to your name
Selective outrage forces you to wear a modern-day scarlet letter. It associates you with one mistake without considering your overall character.
Also, it takes away context because it doesn’t consider the overall situation. In other words, no one cares about what caused your behavior or the intent behind it.
In fact, bullies intentionally take everything out of context to stigmatize you. Stigma is damn hard to remove, and they know it.
Facts About Selective Outrage:
10. Authority looks at optics, not fairness.
When authority sees outrage, they will ask:
- Who looks the calmest?
- Who seems more reasonable?
- What protects the angry mobs’ image?
- What is the easiest way to resolve this?
People who appear the calmest and most reasonable will win the most credibility. More than likely, selective outrage will make you a mental wreck. You will be nervous and, worst of all, emotional.
The angry mob might be more emotional than you. But there are also more of them than there are of you. Therefore, because they outnumber you, the authority will more than likely side with them and do what they want.
And what the mob wants is for authority to protect their image and trash yours. Moreover, they want authority to punish you. Therefore, those in power will do so because it will be the easiest way to solve the problem.
The mob, because of its numbers and loudness, has more power than you. Therefore, the easiest way to solve this is to punish you. And why not, if it will shut them up and get them to go away?
Authority will usually punish the person with the least power. And that person is you if you’re a victim of bullying and selective outrage.
It’s not about justice. It’s about what’s easiest.
Facts About Selective Outrage:
11. Selective outrage is dangerous. Why? Because IT…
- forces you to constantly monitor your tone of voice.
- shrinks your voice.
- causes you to over-apologize.
- Hide to keep people from seeing you.
- Anticipate outrage before it happens.
You keep from sounding angry and emotional so as not to trigger the bullies. This shrinks your voice. Instead of speaking assertively, you speak flatly or quietly.
You may over-apologize to keep everyone off your back. Or you may hide to be “out of sight and out of mind.”
You may predict outrage before it happens. Therefore, you consistently monitor yourself to keep from attracting the wrong attention.
Therefore, to protect yourself, you start enforcing the double standard on yourself.
12. This kind of outrage hides behind “virtue.”
Bullies often disguise it as:
- Advocacy
- Professionalism
- Spiritual Maturity.
- Justice.
- Mental health awareness
- Community standards.
Many bullies become advocates for different causes. However, they’re only virtue signalling. So, they use that to bully. Workplace bullies may accuse you of being unprofessional if you stand up to them.
Moreover, many bullies view submission to abuse as emotional maturity. Or, they may paint their behavior as justice for something you did to them.
Nowadays, many bullies use mental health as a crutch. They also use it as a license to bully. And because they’re “mentally sick,” you’re supposed to feel sorry for them and let them abuse you.
Lastly, bullies may hide behind community standards. However, in most cases, those standards are intentionally vague. Vagueness is a tool they use to punish anything they don’t like, right or wrong.
Understand that their language may sound noble, but it’s really abusive… and targeted. How? If their values were real, they’d apply them to everyone, not just you.
Facts About Selective Outrage:
13. Selective outrage conditions you.
How? You may ask. It programs you to:
- Stay quiet.
- Stay small.
- Stay invisible.
- Be agreeable.
- Be useful.
- Not to threaten the social order.
- Stay with the status quo.
- Take abuse.
When bullies use this kind of outrage, they do it to force you to submit. Why? Because if you don’t comply, they have no power. Understand that your compliance is their power.
What can you do?
Never ask, “Did I do something wrong?” Because they will either tell you that you did or they will react with sarcasm and say something to the tune of, “Wow! You don’t know?”
Instead, ask yourself, “Would they react this way if someone else did the same?” Then, confidently call that out if the answer is yes.
And refuse to comply, no matter how hard they make things for you. This is what you do to keep your sanity. And if all else fails, remove yourself from the environment.
Selective outrage is everywhere, especially today. The more you know about it, the more you recognize it, and the better you protect yourself from it. Remember that it’s okay to defend yourself.
This post gave you all the facts about selective outrage so that you can recognize it when it happens to you and have the courage to stand up to it and protect yourself.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Selective Outrage: 7 Reasons Bullies Use It
2. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important
3. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying
