Category: bullying

that bullied vibe you put out

That Bullied Vibe: How Not to Attract More Bullies

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Have you ever heard of that bullied vibe that victims of bullying give off that attracts more bullies and other human predators? Here’s everything that you need to know about it.

that bullied vibe

After bullies have targeted them for so long, some victims will give off certain micro-expressions of victimhood. And they will attract new bullies once the old ones leave their lives.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about that bullied vibe, what it is, and how you can avoid giving it off.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to exude confidence instead of low self-esteem once you leave a bullying environment. Moreover, you won’t have any trouble with bullies.

This post is all about that bullied vibe, so that you know what it is and how to keep history from repeating itself.

That Bullied Vibe

What is it? It’s low energy that comes from low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and lack of self-belief. For instance, a person who gives off these kinds of vibes may exhibit specific non-verbal cues that scream, “Weak! Submissive! Vulnerable!”.

These cues include lack of eye contact, slouching, looking down, and appearing nervous. They can also include people-pleasing, neediness, approval-seeking, and desperation for friends or dating partners.

For instance, your bullies have bullied you for years. Moreover, they’ve managed to turn everyone against you, and your friends only side with your bullies.

Losing friends has become the norm for you. And because you suffer deprivation of human friendships, you’ve lost your sense of belonging.

Because the bullying has crushed your self-esteem, you begin slouching when you stand and avoid eye contact with people. You also feel nervous in social situations, and it shows!

After you’ve suffered this deprivation for so long, you become desperate for even the tiniest crumb of connection. So, you become needy. You begin exhibiting approval-seeking behaviors to try to win friends. Only the outcome is the opposite. You only attract more bullying.

In doing all this, you signal to everyone around you that you are a victim. In other words, you give off that bullied vibe.

That Bullied Vibe:

Neediness always invites abuse.

Understand that when bullies target you, they beat you down. They leave you sad, lonely, and worst of all, desperate!

Realize that evil always attaches itself to the weak and most vulnerable. People smell desperation from a mile away.

Therefore, if you give off even the tiniest scent of weakness, you will repel those who are emotionally healthy. In contrast, you will attract only the lowlifes who mean to use and abuse you.

Predators love to catch you when you’re most vulnerable. When bullies make you powerless, you will attract fake friends.

And they’ll only use you until they get all they can out of you. Many will pretend to be friends so that they can get close enough to you to hurt you.

They may use you for money or material things. Or they may use you for social benefits. Also, they may feign friendship to dominate you.

Whatever it is, know that they aren’t here for your benefit; they’re here for theirs.

Bullies have a refined ability to sense weakness.

In fact, they have an internal radar for it. They can see vulnerability as plain as day.  In other words, they can tell if you’re confident in your ability to defend yourself. And they know whether they can wield power over someone.

People who have been abused often have learned helplessness. Bullies instantly pick up on this. Why? Because they are always on the hunt for easy prey. And a person who has the power to make their lives unpleasant is not easy prey.

It’s why they only target certain people and not others. Bullies are less likely to target a confident person than they are to select someone who isn’t confident.

That Bullied Vibe:

How and When does it start?

Sometimes, it starts somewhere during early childhood. Maybe your initial self-value and self-love were compromised by abuse. Perhaps you had parents who were overly aggressive with discipline.

It could be that you had older siblings who terrorized you. Maybe they made you believe that your feelings didn’t count.

Or you were born different. Maybe you have autism, and people have treated you like a disease.

Whatever the case may be, it broke your spirit. They conditioned you, and subconsciously, you started believing that you were defective – that you were inferior to others.

However, if nothing else, understand this. All false beliefs are created through traumatic experiences. They also stem from societal conditioning.

And, as time passes, those beliefs fester until they begin attracting experiences of bullying. This is why you must learn to recognize the connection between bullying and the unconscious beliefs you adopted earlier in your life.

The longer you don’t, the more bullying experiences you will have, and the more they will reinforce those false beliefs that you aren’t good enough. Moreover, the more victimized you will feel.

As a result, you will become more reclusive, more avoidant, and more unsure of yourself and others.

Never let them break your spirit!

Your spirit breaks the moment you accept other people’s definition of you. When you take your bullies’ judgements as truth, they win.

I know this is always easy to do. When you’re a small child, you can’t see the hidden motives of abusers. Therefore, when your frustrated mother lashes out at you, or your drug-addicted father abuses you, or an insecure older sibling teases you, their words penetrate your spirit.

As a result, they become a part of your inner dialogue. Why? Because the people who force-feed you this garbage are supposed to love you. Right?

“They’re probably saying these things for my own good. They know what’s best for me. So, I must have screwed up somewhere. I must have done something to cause these people so much frustration.”

That Bullied Vibe:

Toxic Beliefs don’t just HAPPEN. Others plant them in your mind.

 And there you have it. That’s what your bullies sense. They sense your belief that you are defective and that you are not good enough.

And the sad thing is that these beliefs are subconscious. Therefore, they’re more difficult to tackle. If you’re a victim, oftentimes, you become frustrated because you don’t understand why history keeps repeating itself.

You’re at a loss as to why the same shit has happened to you over and over again throughout your entire life.

But here’s what is happening here. 

You have very low self-esteem. And, because of this, you wear an invisible “kick-me sign”. Others may not see it, but they can sense it.

They can tell when you have a deeply buried fear of rejection. Also, you may be co-dependent. You likely don’t have any opinions, ideas, or principles of your own. Therefore, you constantly look to others for advice.

And this probably gets on people’s nerves, so you drive good people away. Others may lash out at you.

However, you must realize that these are only self-fulfilling prophesies.

How to Get Rid of That bullied Vibe and avoid attracting more bullies.

The trick is to dig deep down inside of yourself. Recall the memories of judgment that people instilled in you early in life. Also, remember that they conditioned you to think the thoughts that bring bullying about.

Then, re-frame those judgements as wrong. Moreover, start replacing your self-judgements with compassion and love for yourself.  Do this with the love you would feel for a wounded child.

And most importantly, be patient because the change won’t happen overnight. Life will do everything it can to reinforce the negatives each day. So, you will need to do a lot of work to go against it.

When self-diminishing thoughts try to creep in, you must catch them and reverse them. You must replace them with thoughts of self-love.

You will need patience.

Again, it will be a slow process. However, if you remain focused and continue the work, you will eventually repair the damage your abusers did to your spirit. And the curse will finally be broken.

And here’s another solution. If your bullies are still in your life, cut them out of it. Also, find your purpose. Set goals and achieve them. Create your own power.

Your bullies may still try to bully you. But they will back down quicker if you defend yourself and carry yourself with confidence. You don’t have to be tall, muscular, or good-looking. Just use what you have.

What are your talents and gifts? What are your superpowers? And what are your goals and dreams? We all have them, and they come in many forms. Get to know yourself. Accept yourself, love yourself, and be proud of who you are.

This post was all about that bullied vibe so that you can take steps to change your mindset and undo any self-defeating beliefs that took root from past bullying and abuse.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

3. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

4. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well 

it only gets better with time

It Only Gets Better: There is Life After Bullying

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Do you know that you will eventually escape bullying and that it only gets better after you do? Here is the encouragement you need to keep hope alive.

it only gets better

Your situation may seem hopeless now. But trust me when I tell you that it won’t always be this way. Things will change, and sooner than you think.

In this post, you will learn that the bullying you suffer now will eventually end and that it only gets better from there.

Once you learn this incredible truth, you will be encouraged to keep pushing, keep holding on, and never give up.

This post is here to remind you that the bullying you suffer will end. Then, it only gets better from there. Keep going and you’ll soon be glad you did.

It Only Gets Better 

If you are a target of bullying, you must hold on. Although intense- even unbearable, your pain will only be temporary. I don’t say this lightly because I know what you must be thinking.

“But she doesn’t understand! Nobody understands! Nobody else is going through it! How can she possibly understand the daily hell I endure at work (or at school)?”

I do understand. Once upon a time, I was stuck in the same spot that you are in today. You want to smile, laugh, sing, and dance, only for others to beat it out of you! So strong is the desire to believe in yourself and see your value. Yet others repeatedly and deliberately tear you down!

The night always turns darkest before the dawn.

All you want is to speak and have your voice heard! But others only silence you with threats of physical harm and further degradation. The threat of suspension or the loss of your job and livelihood hangs over your head.

Also, the danger of having opportunities for future employment ruined looms over you. Or you face the possibility of a school suspension or expulsion.

Survivors know firsthand what it feels like. You want to move forward, but bullies keep holding you back.

You want to escape the torment. But you’re stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will!

I know the bewilderment when people curse your very existence. It’s terrifying when bullies bombard you with death threats.

They force you to sacrifice your needs and wants for theirs. It sucks to see others getting gratification and entertainment at your expense.

When people dehumanize you, it can be life-altering. Many others, just like you, have also felt the pain of being verbally bullied. Many even get slapped, kicked, and beaten.

It’s no fun when people scorn, disregard, and trample you underfoot. You don’t know how much I hurt for you.

It Only Gets Better:

Know that SOME PEOPLE UNDERSTAND and They care.

We know what it feels like. It’s like someone running you over with a truck. The driver then stops, shifts into reverse, and backs over you again.

Then, he shifts back into drive and mows over you yet again. He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”

And if you show any signs of life- any whimper or movement, it only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and repeat. Therefore, he continues doing so until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is how bullying feels. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they succeed at it.

But there is Hope!

You will not have to deal with these people forever. Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy.

Moreover, your bullies won’t even matter to you when you reach success.

You are beautiful, intelligent, and awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you- unconditionally- just for being YOU!

You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the value you bring. And they will see you as the asset you truly are!

Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

People may bully you now. They may taunt you, call you ugly names, physically beat you, humiliate you, and turn others against you.

Those around you may make you feel sad, alone, unattractive, and rejected in the present. But they won’t be in your life forever. Bullies eventually drift out of it.

It Only Gets Better:

But rest assured, Your Life won’t always be this way.

Take it from someone who has been there. I had no friends in middle school or high school until I finally transferred to my new high school during my senior year.

Once I left *Oakley High School and began attending *Roseburg High School, that’s when life began. And I took back my power and started rebuilding every part of me that my bullies from the old school had torn down.

Leaving Oakley was the free feeling you get after walking away from a toxic and abusive boyfriend. And the same will happen for you, too.

You won’t linger in that poisonous environment forever. Life gets better.

When you escape, your confidence will blossom.

There will come a day when you will be happy and have so much to be thankful for. You’ll have a family of your own.

You will enjoy your job and feel comfortable in your skin. Also, you will accomplish more than you ever thought possible.

You will grow to love yourself, imperfections and all.

You won’t worry about what others think of you, and you will permit yourself to be you. Moreover, you will have the courage to say no when you don’t want to get involved in or do something that doesn’t feel right to you.

These will be freedoms that you will enjoy and never give up. Not without one hell of a fight!

It Only Gets Better:

Don’t Give Up! There’s Life after Bullying.

I want you to know that the bullying you’re subjected to now will not last. There’s a beautiful life waiting for you once it’s over.

So, whatever you do, don’t give up! Stay your course, and keep fighting.

Hold on to your faith and your dignity with everything you have. Because it may not seem like it now, but the best is yet to come, and the right people will find you.

You will be surrounded by family and friends who love and accept you for who you are, not only for what you can do for them. And you will have friends you never have to explain anything to.

They will love your flaws and quirks, along with your good qualities. You’ll feel so secure with being yourself that you can make fun of yourself and have a good time doing it.

You’ll be relaxed, worry-free, and best of all, safe! You will find your circle of friends, and once you meet them, they will have been worth the wait.

You’re worth fighting and living for. Don’t give up now. Stick around! It only gets better! Much better!

Your bullies only bully you because you have a light that blinds them. Therefore, they are trying like the devil to dim that light. Don’t let them do it.

You may feel dead now. But someday, you will overcome the abuse, and it will breathe life back into you. Don’t give up now. There’s always hope. Keep looking to the future.

Heed these words. You will have life. You will have love. And you will look back on this and be amazed that you not only survived, but you overcame!

The Purpose of this post was to assure you that it only gets better and that there is life after bullying so that you will be inspired to keep pushing forward when times get the toughest. Don’t give up! Choose Life!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You

2. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

3. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids! 

A woman who knows her worth is dangerous

A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

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‘Want to know how to be a woman who knows her worth? Here are seven things you never settle for when you know your worth.

a woman who knows her worth

Throughout my lifetime, I’ve known many women who seemed to pick shady and nasty characters to date. I’m talking about smart and beautiful women who you know can do better if they were a little more selective!

Then there’s the woman who knows her worth. I’ve met these women too and I discovered that there are things they won’t settle for.

Therefore in this post, you will learn how to be a woman who knows her worth. Also, you’ll learn the 5 things you should never settle for.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be a powerful force to be reckoned with. In that, you will begin respecting yourself. As a result, you will also get the respect you deserve.

This post is all about how to be a woman who knows her worth so that you can command respect and get the best out of life. Moreover, bullies will think twice before they mess with you.

A Woman who Knows Her Worth

This woman knows her value, and she knows that she is high-value. Therefore, there are people and things that she absolutely will not settle for. Here are seven of these things.

1. Partners who don’t value her.

A woman who knows her worth won’t settle for some no-count loser who doesn’t treat her well. I’ve known women who did, though. And I’ve seen their partners degrade them and try to control them.

Insecure women think that they can change their no-good partners. Maybe they think that he has “potential.” Therefore, they tell themselves those lies to keep from being alone.

They tell themselves that the partner is just going through a rough patch. They fool themselves into thinking that, eventually, he’ll do better. Again, this is how they end up letting these toxic men drag them down.

But a woman who knows her worth will never date beneath her standards. She knows she’s better off alone than with some creep who wants to dominate her. Therefore, she won’t put up with shabby treatment to keep a partner around.

Instead, she’ll drop him and move on with her life. She knows that her time is valuable. Therefore, she doesn’t waste her time with a partner who doesn’t value her or the good she brings.

So, she won’t settle or continue a relationship with someone who disrespects her and takes her for granted. She’ll stay by herself until she finds someone who cherishes her.

2. A woman who KNOWS her worth doesn’t settle for a PARTNER who IS broke and jobless.

This woman won’t give her time to any guy who is broke, jobless, or working dead-end jobs.

Guys who are in and out of jail and who always have their women post bail for them are a definite no-go. This is because this woman is wise. She knows that this becomes a pattern for men like these.

Therefore, she won’t choose some scrub she’ll likely have to support. She won’t do like insecure women do and pay his bills and try to make life easier for them. No.

She wants a man who is responsible for his life and who can provide for her. Not some loser she’d have to spend all her hard-earned money to keep out of jail.

Instead, she’d rather be alone than put up with some lazy piece of crap who does nothing but keep her broke and stressed out.

Therefore, she won’t date someone who doesn’t have their shit together.

3. Friends who stab her in the back.

This woman chooses her friends wisely. She doesn’t settle for jealous frenemies who are secretly out to derail her from her goals.

She avoids backstabbers, mean girls, and shrews like the plague. Why? Because she’s dealt with many of them and has no desire to ever deal with these types of women again.

She knows that they would only drain her confidence, wreck her self-esteem, and suck the life out of her. Therefore, she has nothing to do with these broads.

4. A woman who knows her worth will never be a side-chick

This woman will never date a guy who’s already taken. Why? Because she knows that she is so much more than that. Therefore, she refuses to play second fiddle. No way will she pick up another woman’s sloppy seconds!

She knows that if she does, she’ll only set herself up to be the last choice in a man’s life. Therefore, she won’t settle for the crumbs under the table when she’s worthy of having the whole meal at the table.

She’s content to wait until a partner of her own finds her. Therefore, married men need not apply.

She’s smart enough to know that if a man will cheat on his wife, he’ll eventually cheat on her. Also, sleeping with another woman’s husband is the same as wearing her underwear. Ewww! Therefore, if a married man hits on her, she’ll quickly tell him to get lost.

There’s no dignity in being a side chick.  This woman knows this. Therefore, she won’t reduce herself to that. No way will she cheapen herself by eating another woman’s leftovers.

5. Catty Women Who Bully her and drag her down.

It’s rarely the not-so-good women and butt-floss wearing females who get targeted for bullying? It seems that it’s mostly the girls who are discreet and have self-respect that people treat the worst.

But why?

The running narrative is that anything goes, and that showing belly, boobs, and butt is what it takes to get a man. However, here’s the reality. No guy worth his salt would even consider a long-term relationship, much less marriage, with such a woman.

Another reason is that many people believe that classy women are old-fashioned and boring. They prioritize the wrong things nowadays (attention, approval, admiration, and popularity).

So, they’re all for engaging in indecent behavior and stripping down to nothing if it will get them lots of those social benefits. Why? Because bullies are all about having followers who idolize and worship them as they sneer at others who aren’t ratchet like they are.

Here’s a third reason a woman who knows her worth might get bullied.

Because she’s a lady, and a good, classy, down-to-earth lady respects herself too much to kneel before anyone. On the other hand, the arrogant she-bullies are more than likely the butt-cheek baring, all-eyes-on-me, girls.

A woman who knows her worth doesn’t have to work so hard to get attention.

And a lady deems attention-seekers to be of the lowest common denominator. Therefore, such females aren’t worth her time, and the she-bullies know that and are angered by it.

Reason number four is that the ladies end up being the winners. They don’t have to resort to cheapening themselves to get male attention or to fit in. Moreover, they don’t accept attention from the cheap tomcats who crawl up behind the she-bullies.

The beautifully decorated, yet half-naked she-bullies are a dime a dozen. The she-bully only attracts the dogs. They draw the beta-men who only pose as alphas, and the cheap playboys who are only there to hit it, then quit it.

It’s the women who are ladies who attract the real men.

A lady is a keeper. She’s not a one-date wonder or a one-night stand. She knows she’s worth more than just her body. The lady doesn’t care what petty people think of her.

She doesn’t give a hoot that the she-bullies and their tomcats look down their noses at her because they don’t matter to her.

It is the lady, the once-bullied classy chick and good girl, who will score a high-value man. Why? Because she is a high-value woman.

A woman who knows her worth is a principled woman.

This lady will live a good life because she has good morals that she chooses to live by. And the morals they have are, in fact, so strong that they’re unchanged by the decaying society in which we unfortunately live.

Instead of fitting in by being half-naked, the lady will stand out by keeping her clothes on. This doesn’t mean she dresses like a nun, but she keeps it classy. And that’s why she’s already ahead of the game.

She-bullies are only good for a one-time roll in the sack. Ladies, on the other hand, are wife-for-life material.

They don’t let the desire to fit in cause them to relax their values, their morals, their beliefs, and their convictions. These women hold on to their standards.

Therefore, if you’re one of those women, you may be feeling lonely now.  But the things about you that your bullies ridicule will be the very qualities that real people, with strong beliefs and values, will cherish. You just wait!

6. A job that drains her.

She won’t work for anyone who drains her energy and crushes her spirit. Toxic bosses will be surprised when she hands in her resignation. Bullying coworkers might feel relieved when she quits.

But that’s only because they were all afraid she’d make them look like the incompetent fools they are. And now they don’t have to worry about that.

7. A woman who knows her worth rejects anything that doesn’t fulfill her.

This woman will have nothing to do with anything or anyone who doesn’t fill her with purpose. She quickly discards what doesn’t feed her soul. She has no time for false friends, female bullies, backstabbers, abusive partners, and other toxic people.

Why? Because she loves herself and she knows her worth. She also knows that life is short and it’s a one-shot deal. Therefore, she does what she must do to make it count.

This post is all about the things that a woman who knows her worth WOULDN’T settle for so that you can follow her lead, snub the bullies, and live your best life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Female Bullies: 7 Reasons They Bully Other Women and Girls

2. Catty Women: 5 Powerful Ways to Deal with Their Bullying

3. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

4. How to Deal with a Bullying Partner

5. Why You Should Love Yourself: 10 Things that Happen if You Don’t  

things bullies hate most

Things Bullies Hate: 9 Things That Drive Them Up the Wall

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‘Want to know about all the things bullies hate? Here are the most common things they despise.

things bullies hate

There are things bullies hate, and if you know what they are, you can use them to gain an advantage.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the most common things bullies hate so that you can weaponize them to defend yourself.

Once you learn all about this critical information, you will be better able to protect yourself the next time they come for you.

This post is all about the things bullies hate most, so that you can gain the advantage you need to ensure your safety.

Things Bullies Hate

Bullies have images to keep up. Therefore, they hate anything that pokes holes in their image. And they hate anyone who sees behind the facades. So, what are the things that might threaten their images of perfection?

1. Constructive Criticism

Bullies don’t take constructive criticism very well. They only react to it as if it is a personal attack. Constructive criticism is designed to help you, not harm you. However, bullies don’t see it that way.

Constructive criticism makes you better. In contrast, destructive criticism tears you down. Let’s give an example of constructive and destructive criticism.

Constructive:

“What you did was foolish.”

Destructive:

“You’re foolish.”

Constructive criticism attacks the deed. Destructive criticism attacks the person. However, bullies can’t tell the difference because they’re too wrapped up in themselves to notice.

Remember that bullies are highly egocentric. They must always be right about everything. Or, more appropriately, look as if they’re right about everything. Bullies have a knack for hiding beneath a veneer of total perfection.

They do this for several reasons.

  1. It makes them look better than they really are.
  2. The veneer of perfection can be used as protection from accountability and shield them from reproach.
  3. It can be used to draw others to them and fool them.
  4. It can be used as a weapon against their targets.
  5. It gives them status and social capital.
  6. It gives them the attention and admiration they seek.

Things Bullies Hate:

Bullies hate getting it, but they love giving it.

Bullies love criticizing you because it makes them look like they’re smarter than you. They will use the veil of constructive criticism to disparage others they deem inferior and unworthy.

They may tell you that they’re only giving you this criticism to help you. However, they’re doing it to show you and everyone else that they’re superior to you. A bully’s hypocrisy knows no bounds.

If a bully ever unfairly criticizes you, you must stand up to them. Tell them in no uncertain terms to mind their own affairs and go on about their business.

And if they keep it up, hit them with their own book of standards. You can always say something like:

“That sounds real good coming from someone who doesn’t practice what they preach. Now, get out of here and go on about your business.”

This is one comeback you can use. It’s straightforward and, even better, it’s blunt. It’s nothing fancy. You don’t have to get cute or witty with it. Just say what you mean, mean what you say, and say it in as few words as possible.

2. Rules

Bullies hate following rules. Remember that bullies have a grandiose sense of entitlement. Moreover, they crave power. And the more power they have, the more they want.

Therefore, they feel that rules don’t apply to them. In their minds, rules are for everyone else.

3. Things Bullies Hate:

Being Stood up to

Bullies despise it when you stand up to them. Why? Because you are challenging their perceived authority. Therefore, they will fight you tooth and nail to reinforce their power over you.

Realize that when you stand up to a bully, things usually get worse before they get better. This is because bullies aren’t used to you defending yourself. In fact, they aren’t used to anyone standing up to them.

This is because others usually kiss their ass and give them free reign.

Therefore, bullies grow quite comfortable with having carte blanche to ride roughshod over you any time they feel like it. And they don’t want those advantages to stop.

Therefore, they’ll fight even harder to keep getting those benefits, even if they do come at your expense.

You must get this through your head right now. Bullies do not care about how they’ve hurt you. They don’t care about how much you’ve suffered from their abuse. The only thing they care about is power and whether they can keep getting what they want from you.

So, they will increase the abuse, not only to punish you, but also to wear you down. Why? Because if they can make you too tired to keep fighting, then they keep the upper hand.

Therefore, they will fight harder to keep you down at first. What you must do is stay strong, no matter how exhausted you may become. And you must also fight harder. This means you have to fight harder than they do.

It’s the only way you will ever get them to leave you alone.

4. Things Bullies Hate:

You proving them wrong

When you prove a bully wrong, you show everyone else that they aren’t so perfect. This puts a dent in their image. Therefore, they’ll try to get back at you to repair it.

5. You outshining them

Upstage a bully, and you’ll get tons of flak for it. To your bullies, you are inferior, and they want you to stay that way.

If you make a significant accomplishment, this makes your bullies look less important. You naturally overshadow anything they’ve accomplished. And they’ll do everything possible to try to reduce you back down where they think you should be.

6. Things Bullies Hate:

Competition

Bullies hate competition. And they despise it especially when it’s you they must compete with. If someone they deem inferior outmatches them in any competition. Oooo! Talk about a blow to the bully’s ego. Ouch!

Understand that bullies see any successes or accomplishments you achieve as a threat to their superiority. Why? Because the bullies’ sense of self-worth is drawn from a sense of one-upmanship and winning over.

Therefore, if you make a huge accomplishment or win any award or prize, bullies will see it as competition with them. As a result, they will escalate the bullying to punish you for that success.

Bullies will get angry and say things like:

  • “You think you’re better than us!”
  • “You think you’re hot stuff!”
  • “You think you’re so f***ing cool, don’t you?”

I’ve come to realize that any time a bully makes any statement that begins with, “You think you’re…,” it usually means jealousy. And it means anger, or resentment aimed at you for a success or desirable quality that you have. Always!

Understand that those three little words can say so much.

7. Taking Orders

Remember that bullies are primarily concerned with exerting power. Therefore, they despise taking orders. Why? Because to take orders means that they must be in a position of inferiority.

Bullies have an attitude of superiority. They don’t follow orders; they give them.

8. Things Bullies Hate:

Someone treating them the way they treat their victims

Bullies are notorious for expecting you to be okay with treatment that they would never be OK with. In their minds, it’s OK for them to treat others with disrespect.

However, when you kick the shit back their way, they become outraged. This is because bullies think that they’re exempt from having to suffer negative treatment.

Bullies think that they’re entitled to respect and admiration. And they become quite angry if you don’t give it to them. Moreover, they may even retaliate vengefully if they feel you aren’t giving them the recognition they think they deserve.

Therefore, see them for who they are… a bunch of smug, self-important turds who think the world should bow before them. Instead of kissing up to them, give them the treatment they give you. Regard them with indifference and dismissal.

9. Being ignored.

I’ve met many bullies who despised being ignored, even if they were acting like total jackasses. Realize that bullies crave attention, and they will do anything to get it.

They want to be the center of attention. “All eyes on me! Look at me! I’m special!”

Therefore, the best thing to do with them is to give them the attention they don’t want. And that is to stand up to them and tell them to get a life. Also, you can give them a dismissive look and walk away.

Things Bullies Hate:

In Closing

Bullies hate anything that doesn’t focus on them. Therefore, the worst you can do to them is dismiss them and keep going about your business. Sometimes, you must give bullies a dose of their own medicine to keep your self-esteem intact.

If you know what your bullies hate most, you can leverage it.

This post was all about the things bullies hate so that you can use them to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous 

2. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise 

bullying and ego psychology

Bullying and Ego: Why Bullies Won’t Let You Go

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‘Want to know why bullying and ego are so tightly connected? Here are all the details you need to know.

bullying and ego

Bullying stems from ego. Moreover, many bullies feel the need to get that ego boost at your expense because they can’t control their own lives. So they seek to get control of yours. If you’re a victim of bullying, especially if you have been for a long time, you too may feel as if you have no control over your life.

To take back your power, you must first know where bullying comes from and its underlying causes. Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and ego and how they connect.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, it will compel you to stand up to your bullies once and for all and stop being the food that feeds their over-inflated egos.

This post is all about all the ways bullying and ego connect, so that you will get angry and take steps to grab your power back.

Bullying and Ego

If people are bullying you and have been doing so for a long time, you may feel powerless. You may think that you have lost complete control over your life. And, in truth, you have.

Powerlessness is the sense that you have no control over what happens to you. It diminishes your sense of security.

And for bullies to take away your power, they must crush your ego to feed theirs.

For Bullies to Feel Powerful, they must make you powerless.

In other words, they must chip away at your power and self-esteem for long enough that they reduce you to feeling like, “it’s out of my hands.” This takes time. But bullies are relentless, and worst of all, patient.

Bullies are empowered by stripping away your power. In fact, it’s the only way they can achieve power. When you stand up to them, they are left to deal with their own mental issues.

By riding roughshod over you, they don’t have to think about their own flaws and shortcomings. Instead, they can continue to convince themselves that they’re the alpha dogs.

Therefore, they gradually increase the attacks until they subdue you. Once they do this, you begin to feel like you have no control over your life. And, if you have that feeling for long enough, it can induce hopelessness.

This is what bullies hope for. Why? Because once they drive you to hopelessness, they’ll induce learned helplessness. In other words, you’ll likely stop fighting back and surrender to them. And that’s when they’ve got you!

Bullies know human nature like the backs of their hands. They know what works and what doesn’t. If they can’t get you one way, they’ll get you another.

Therefore, they’ll experiment with you by trying different kinds of attacks until they find the one that works on you. Then they’ll stick to what works.

Your bullies will slowly intensify their abuse to wear you down. And once they wear you down, you’ll likely give up.

Bullying and Ego:

Where do hopelessness and Learned Helplessness come from?

Hopelessness and learned helplessness don’t come from bullying and abuse per se. No. They stem from the inability to escape it. 

In 1967, Overmier and Seligman conducted an experiment on dogs to prove that learned helplessness was a real phenomenon. They locked the dogs in cages and then subjected them to electric shocks.

Naturally, the dogs tried to run away – to escape the painful shocks. However, the two scientists prevented the dogs from escaping.

Therefore, when the dogs realized that there was no way they could run from the shocks, they began cowering and showing signs of depression.

The dogs endured anywhere from twenty-four hours to one hundred sixty-eight hours of imprisonment and shocks. Finally, the researchers opened the doors to their cages and allowed them to go free.

However, the dogs didn’t attempt to flee. The dogs were broken. They only continued whimpering and cowering in the corners of their cages, even with the doors wide open.

The same happens to you after you’ve suffered bullying for long enough and have no way to escape it. You lose hope, and learned helplessness creeps in.

As a result, you stop defending yourself because you realize that it does no good. Again, this is what your bullies count on. So, when you stand up to them, things usually get worse before they get better.

Bullying and Ego:

Your powerlessness feeds your bullies’ egos.

Power is addictive. And bullies are insecure people with fragile egos. They’re insecure people in control.

As long as they can keep you worn down, where you accept their abuse, they have power over you. And the longer they have power over you, the more addicted they become to it.

Again, their pathetic little egos feed off of controlling you. And the more they feed their egos at your expense, the stronger that power-addiction becomes.

However, once you get an ass full and decide to stand up to the creeps, you take back your power. Then your bullies become outraged. Why? Because you have taken away the very thing they’ve become addicted to.

“How dare you!”

What happens when you take your power back?

How does someone who’s addicted to drugs act when you suddenly cut them off from their drug supply? They climb the walls!

It’s the same with bullies when you defend yourself and take back your power – the drug they’re addicted to.

Therefore, to bring you back under their control, your bullies might put on the nice act and become apologetic. However, this doesn’t happen often because bullies are prideful.

In most cases, your bullies will increase the abuse. They will reinforce their power by punishing you for defending yourself. For instance, verbal bullies begin verbally assaulting you and you counter them with a good burn.

Your bullies may dial up the abuse by giving you a good beating. It’s a fact that most verbal bullies become physical bullies. And this is why.

Also, many bullies will come up behind you and give you a hard shove if you turn your back and walk away from them.

They become even more abusive to bring you back under their control. Moreover, they will gaslight you. If they don’t deny the abuse, they’ll try to convince you that you brought it on yourself.

Bullying and Ego:

This is why you should never stop standing up for yourself.

When you stand up to bullies, you are setting boundaries. Bullies despise boundaries of any kind. Remember that bullies have gargantuan egos. They think that you should give them carte blanche to walk over you any time they feel like it.

Therefore, expect them to try to wear you down with endless attacks at first. Because, believe me, they will! And, no matter how exhausted you may become, don’t stop fighting for yourself.

You must continue to defend yourself. Because if you give up because you’re tired, the bullying will get worse. As long as you stay in the fight, you have a good chance of wearing your bullies out instead.

Trying to keep someone down is hard work, especially if they defend themselves. When you stand up to bullies, you don’t make it easy on them. Instead, you make them have to work.

You must be a force to be reckoned with.

Therefore, you must be such a huge challenge for them that they get tired. In fact, you must be willing to inflict a lot of pain on them in the process.

Therefore, the worse they bully you, the worse you fight back. When they attack you, you counterattack them harder. When they hit you, you hit back harder.

You must give your bullies consequences they’ll never forget. Moreover, you must inflict so much pain on them that they won’t even think of messing with you again.

Why? Because bullies don’t respond to politeness. You can’t reason with bullies. No amount of diplomacy will stop them. Bullies only mock you, then keep right on bullying you.

The only thing bullies respond to is strength and power. When you handle them with strength, that’s when they pay attention. When you impose painful consequences on them, they’ll listen up. Believe me!

You must make yourself too painful to deal with. You must be too much of a problem to handle. Only then will your bullies decide that you aren’t worth the trouble and leave you alone.

Why? Because, when you can make them think, “Oh, shit! I don’t want none of that,” that’s when you won’t have to worry about them ever coming for you again.

Bullies are cowards. Bullying is what cowards do. If you can make them fear you, they won’t even look in your direction. And if you can make bullies not want to mess with you, then no one else will either. This is how you earn respect.

This post is all about bullying and ego so that you will be motivated to stand up to bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying

2. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

3. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

4. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Affects Mental Health 

bullies are cowards in disguise

Bullies are Cowards: Why Targets are the Brave Ones

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‘Want to know why bullies are cowards and how victims are the brave ones? Here is everything you need to know.

bullies are cowards

In a world where appearances prevail, it would seem that bullies are the brave ones and targets are the cowards. But things aren’t always what they seem. Now, are they?

In this post, you will learn why bullies are cowards and victims are the brave ones.

Once you learn all about these essential truths, you will feel better knowing that you are better off than your bullies will ever be.

This post is all about why bullies are often cowards, so that you can see your bullies for who they truly are and begin standing up to them.

Bullies are Cowards

Have you noticed that bullies love to talk smack? They trumpet to the world about how tough they are. Moreover, they believe that everyone else should bow down and tremble before them.

Bullies work hard at beating their chests and bluffing. However, it only goes to prove that they’re the least confident and most insecure schmucks on the face of the earth.

Why? Because anyone who must announce that they’re tough can’t be. When something is there, you don’t have to try and show it.

Those who are tough are usually the quiet ones. They don’t have to talk about it. How many times have you heard stories about the quiet kid beating the crap out of the loudmouth bully who pushed him too far?

The ones who are truly tough never talk. You don’t see these people running around, spouting off about how tough they are because they don’t have to.

They don’t need to tell you about it because they already know they’re tough and there’s no need to prove it to anyone. They’ve already proven it to themselves, and that’s enough.

Bluffs, Blowhards, and Windbags

Therefore, if any bully messes with them, they will get hurt.

I’ve dealt with droves of bullies, and one thing I noticed a long time ago is that they’re loudmouth losers. They puff out their chests and flap their lips. They talk about how they’re going to kick this person’s butt, whip that person’s butt- they never stop.

Additionally, many bullies may employ passive-aggressive tactics. Because they’re too scared to be direct, they like to hurl subtle zingers your way, hoping you won’t notice.

With these chumps, it’s one pissing contest after another.

Bullies are Cowards:

They Quickly Grow Boring.

As a result, having to listen to their gas constantly gets boring fast. Why? Because, again, that’s all you hear out of them.

Anyone who must spit such rubbish isn’t only trying to convince the rest of the world. They’re also trying to convince themselves.

These are characteristics of every single chump who has ever bullied me in my lifetime. It’s not only pathetic, but laughable that they must go through life this way.

Furthermore, these people are so incredibly insecure that you can trigger them just by challenging them in any way. Their egos are that fragile.

These bullies may even approach you and get in your face if they have their entourage of lackeys behind them. Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, know this.

Your bullies are total fakes. They’re phonies. Cowards. Chumps!

All You Can Do is Pity Them.

When you stop and think about it, it’s hard to hate anyone who is this pathetic. The only thing you can do is feel sorry for such pitiful souls.

Again, remember that those who are genuinely tough don’t have to talk about it. It’s just there.

Always remember this the next time a bully gets in your face or shoots their mouth off. Feel confident in knowing that you’re not like this person and you don’t have to resort to such buffoonery. This alone should be a real self-esteem booster.

Have you noticed that many little people can be the biggest bullies?

Bullies are Cowards:

Bullies with Napoleon Complexes

Many bullies in school were insecure because they were short, skinny, or both. So, they would compensate for that by bullying others.

They would intimidate others by walking around with a scowl on their faces. Or they’d scream, yell, and talk real tough. It’s hilarious when I look back now.

Many of these little squirts do this, and there’s a name for it. It’s called either the “Napoleon Complex” or “little man syndrome.”

Think “Maddy Webber” on the new MacGyver reboot.

Understand that their bark is worse than their bite, and they bully as a defense mechanism. Maybe the little ankle-biters at my school gave me a hard time because bigger kids were bullying them.

But they would never admit it. So, they took the coward’s way out and searched for someone they thought was weaker.

They’d come at you with their spitfire tempers and want to try to fight you. Then they’d wonder why they got a good whack in the nose. Next, they’d either run, crying to a teacher, or they’d go bark up someone else’s tree.

I was small myself, weighing about 120 pounds and standing at only 5’3″ -5’4″. However, some of these kids were even smaller than I was. Such kids are in every school, and you even have tiny adults who behave the same way at work.

We even had a few short and skinny teachers. And they’d scream and yell at the students when they’d get too noisy.

I knew of one male English teacher who’d go wild. He would slam his fists down on his desk or shake his fists in the air.  He would even throw erasers at students and scream like a banshee.

We just knew this little guy was a future resident at the state mental hospital.

Bullies are Cowards:

Real Life Experiences with Tiny Bullies

Even as an adult, I’ve seen different people (especially men) at work who were short and lanky. Yet, they would bark loudly, and I couldn’t help but think that they were compensating somehow for their stature.

Their screaming, cursing, posturing, and jockeying seemed to give them some sense of power. I’m not posting this to make fun of little people. Not all of them are like this. As I mentioned earlier, I’m only 5’4″.

We all come in different sizes and varieties, and we should celebrate those differences. But when you feel you have to bully others to make up for a weakness, you only show what a scared little coward you are. And people like me see right through you, and all we do is laugh.

Try a little kindness instead. Then, when a bigger bully comes for you, we just might come to your defense instead of laughing at you.

Cyber-bullies are the biggest cowards of all.

Bullies are cowards, but Cyber-bullies are the biggest, most pathetic ones.

They sit in the safety of their homes or their mom’s basements, attics, and backyard sheds. And they hide behind fake profiles and screen names, trolling the internet and social media in search of victims.

If you’ve ever dealt with a cyber-bully, I knew how you feel. Words do have power and it’s easy to be hurt when anyone attacks you, online or off. I, too used to get upset when I’d look at my instant messages and find that some idiot had sent me a flamer.

However, today, I’ve learned to see it for what it is and the cyber-bullies for who they are. And that in itself can be a real boost to the self-esteem.

When I think of the term “cyber-bully,” I instantly get a mental picture of one of two types of people:

1. Some broke, unemployed and shirtless fat guy sitting and typing on a computer in his granny’s basement, while stuffing his face with Cheetos and sporting a man-bun.

2. A skinny, pimple-faced, bespectacled geek who only trolls the net to compensate for his lack of sex and a social life in the real world.

Occasionally, I still deal with cyberbullies. When I do, one of those pathetic pictures immediately pops up in my mind. And I can’t help but chuckle to myself.

Bullies are Cowards:

If they have time to troll the internet, they can’t be about much.

Because cyber-bullies often use a fake profile or screen name with either a blank photo or one that’s fake, it only shows that they’re faceless cowards and not to be taken seriously.

These losers talk so big and tough behind that keyboard- oh, yeah! They’re real badasses online. But you can bet that if they ever saw you on the street, they wouldn’t have the sack to step up.

So, ask yourself these questions.

  • Should I take these wusses so seriously?
  • Should I give these worthless schmucks the power to make us feel bad about ourselves?
  • Should I value their useless gibberish?

I can’t speak for anyone else. However, I have a hard time valuing the worthless opinions of anyone who doesn’t have a name or face.

Any person who’s a Rambo in cyberspace but a George McFly on the street, I can only take with a horselaugh and a grain of salt.

You either have a big, brass pair or you don’t.

It takes a real zero to spend even a few hours a day trolling other users. You just know that the person has no ambition, no prospects, and no life.

Understand that when you’re cyber-bullied, often you’re dealing with a poor soul who is bored, lonely, and miserable.

And the only way they can feel good about themselves and have power is to do what they’re doing now.

Therefore, if you are cyber-bullied online, you shouldn’t put too much stock in their opinions. Their words don’t carry a lot of weight.

Understand that cyber-bullies are often people who flame others because they’re insecure, self-loathing, and have nothing going for them. Online is the only way these pathetic losers can have a social life.

That alone speaks volumes about the kind of people they are and the crappy lives they lead. So, again, should you take these losers seriously? Are they worth getting angry or depressed over?

These idiots can’t make you feel bad about yourself unless you allow them to.

Bullies are Cowards:

For words to have power over you, you must first consider the source.

Though words have power, and they can hurt you, you should always consider the source. Because in truth, most cyber-bullies live miserable existences and should only be pitied.

Yet, victims are (mistakenly) branded as cowards. They are the ones who come to school or work and face bullies… alone, no matter how viciously they get brutalized.

Through all the name-calling, the taunts, the brutal beatings, and the threats to their lives, targets manage to reach within themselves and push through another day.

To endure abuse every single day for several years and still find the resolve to soldier on? Now that takes courage! Targets of bullying are the real warriors! Notice I didn’t say victim.

It takes bravery to be a target of relentless bullying and remain standing tall. To endure bouts of daily and constant abuse and make it to the finish line of high school graduation or the end-of-week paycheck? That takes guts!

To stay in the race, while most bullies drop out of school or quit their jobs when the going gets tough? That’s not only brave, but it’s also heroic! To be your own hero? That takes bravery, bullies will never have.

So take advantage of it and shut your bullies down for good! You don’t have to be an easy target.

This post explained why bullies are cowards so that their games DON’T have the effect on you they once did and you can feel better about yourself knowing that you aren’t them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

2. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

3. Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

examples of subtle bullying in the workplace

Examples of Subtle Bullying: 6 Powerful Ways to Read Between the Lines

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‘Want to know some examples of subtle bullying? Here are a few you need to know.

examples of subtle bullying

Subtle bullying is the most insidious because it is sneaky. The bullying isn’t as direct, and it’s designed to fly right over your head. In other words, it happens without you realizing it and doesn’t give you a chance to respond.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about some examples of subtle bullying, so that you can recognize it when it happens and respond appropriately and confidently.

Once you learn about these examples, you will be better equipped to address them and prevent them from happening again.

This post is all about examples of subtle bullying, so you know what it looks and sounds like, and can more easily set boundaries.

Examples of Subtle Bullying

Subtle bullying is the most demeaning and humiliating for a person. I say this because when this type of bullying happens, the bullies are slick about it.

They catch you off guard, taunting you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out who they’re directing it at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

The bully may not necessarily address it to you. However, while you may be unaware, any bystanders and witnesses nearby will immediately know who the bully is insulting. It’s amusing how we tend to see things more clearly from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. And they can quickly fly over your head. As a result, you end up looking foolish for not catching it in time.

Additionally, the bully’s words may be vague and unclear, but they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.

Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.
But understand that although the bully and a few others might think he (the bully) is witty or cute and that the creep slapped you with a good burn, there are reasons why these types are so slick with their mouths.

Here are a few examples of Subtle Bullying

Example 1. 

A heavier family member is at a family gathering. The family is discussing the cat that has just had kittens, and one of the kittens is a runt.

The heavier family member then mentions that they were a tiny four-pound preemie at birth and that they were once the runt of the litter too.

As the heavier family member leaves to go to the bathroom, another family member remarks, “But you caught up, though.” Then they giggle and say, “I don’t think she heard that.”

But the heavier family member does hear it, and it hurts. However, being the better and wiser person, she lets it go for the sake of keeping the peace. She’s an adult, and she lets it roll down her back.

However, inside, she’s crying. But she hides it with a smile and a laugh.

Example 2.

An older father is discussing his three sons. Two of the kids are blessed with lovely homes and generous paychecks.  One is poor. The father remarks that, if he ever got sick and couldn’t live on his own, he’d have to live in the closet if he had to depend on the poor child to give him a place to live.

And he says it right in front of the poor child. The poor child is the bigger person. Therefore, the poor son is the graceful one and lets it go for the sake of family harmony.

However, inside, he feels less than but masks it perfectly.

1. They’re great big cowards.

Subtle bullies are too cowardly to make a direct attack. Moreover, they count on the possibility of you not noticing their insults.

Why? Because they know that they’ll likely throw you off balance. Therefore, you’ll be less likely to counter with a good response and make them look foolish.

Or, maybe they do it in a setting that makes it difficult to respond, such as the family gathering we just mentioned.

Again, these types of bullies are cowards, and they’re probably in a superior position in the family, where they can get away with it.

2. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

They think it makes them look cute.

Passive-aggressiveness is also used to get attention and look intelligent in front of others. These bullies can only achieve this by humiliating someone else and making them look (and feel) foolish.

Moreover, if they feel bad about themselves and their position in life, they roll out the zingers to make themselves feel better. Some people need to feel superior to someone else. Moreover, they often choose the least capable person in a group.

Remember, shit always rolls downhill and lands on the bottom rat. And when something lands on the bottom, that’s where it stays.

3. To stun you and keep you silent.

Often, the shock value of the insults is such that it leaves the recipient and bystanders speechless. Shock shuts down the ability to think clearly and causes the victim to pause for a second or two.

The target is often left stunned, standing there with their mouths hanging open and unable to respond quickly and appropriately. As a result, the person appears slow and feeble-minded in the eyes of bystanders, making the bully look smart and witty.

It can also strike fear into the target and keep them from speaking out, afraid that the bully will only verbally attack them with more insults.

4. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

Easy Deniability.

If the insults are vague and indirect, there’s a higher chance the bully will escape accountability if the target catches it right off and responds to it.

Then, the bully can more easily misconstrue the message and defensively claim innocence. They can say things such as,

  • “Oh, that’s not what I meant.”
  • “No harm intended.”
  • “I wasn’t referring to you.”
  • “You took that the wrong way.”

Understand that although the garbage that comes out of their mouths may be vile and directed at you, it will often have several different interpretations. And because of those multiple meanings, the bully can very innocently explain away the put-down.

As a result, they can make you look overly sensitive or mentally unstable.

But here’s the good news!

There are ways to read between the lines and stonewall these lowlife cowards anytime they get slick-mouthed with you. Here’s how you read between the lines.

1. Listen to your gut.

If that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach feels off and you sense something is amiss, don’t ignore it. Your gut feeling is often right, so trust it!

2. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

Quickly observe any surrounding bystanders.

Make a split-second micro-glance of the witnesses and note their reactions and who they’re looking at. Notice their facial expressions and gestures.

If you see any of these expressions below, and you’re likely to notice many of them together, you are the target of the insult.

3. The witnesses’ eyes suddenly widen, and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth.

This happens any time a bully throws a subtle zinger at you. Naturally, you’ll notice the people around you. You’ll see how their eyes nearly pop out of their heads and the funny looks they give you.

The reason for this is that they’re wondering why you don’t tell this person to piss off. They’re standing there thinking, “Damn! Why aren’t you saying something to defend yourself? If it were me, I’d tell that smart-ass piece of garbage to go to hell!”

4. They alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.

Again, they’re shocked that the bully said that to you. They’re waiting on you to deliver a good response. Moreover, they’re even more appalled that they did it right in front of your face and you aren’t standing up to it.

They’re thinking, “Why aren’t you telling this creep to get fucked? If it were me, I’d handle this shit quickly!”

3. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

You hear light gasps and grunts from the “audience.”

Again, they can’t believe that this person had the balls to say that to you. And they’re wondering why you stand there and take it.

5. You see their whole faces change suddenly and mouths slightly gape open.

These people aren’t only shocked, they’re embarrassed for you. Moreover, they’re relieved that it’s you getting subtly pummeled and not them.

Anytime a bully humiliates you like that in front of others. You must respond quickly or you’ll end up seeming like a pushover. Then, everyone will start bullying you.

6. If you hear soft but Mocking giggles, chuckles, or laughter

When you hear these things, see it for what it is. These people are enjoying seeing you get owned. Therefore, rain on their little parade. Tell the bully to get bent.

I realize that this may be difficult to do if it’s a family member. In that case, you don’t have to insult them back. However, you can tell them that what they did was wrong and that you don’t have to tolerate it.

If you see any number of these reactions from people around you, you will know automatically. Therefore, you can address the problem accordingly.

Examples of Subtle Bullying:

In CLOSING

When bullies throw subtle zingers and insults at you, the last thing you should do is not respond. You  must see this for what it is. Your bullies are using passive-aggression. This type of bullying is psychological and you must stand up to it as you would if the bullying was physical.

The best thing you can do is address it. And when you do, chances are that they will respect your right to be treated better.

This post gave you some examples of subtle bullying so that you’ll recognize it when it happens and address it accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing 

2. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use 

3. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

is bullying natural selection

Is Bullying Natural? 3 Cop Outs Bullies Use for Excuses

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Is bullying natural? Some people think so, and some do not. Here are all the details you need to know.

is bullying natural

Many people say that bullying is only natural selection. Additionally, they may refer to it as Darwinism. They may even say that bullying is all about survival of the fittest.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn to look further into to the age-old question, “Is bullying natural?”. Also, you will learn all about bullying, natural selection, Darwinism, and survival of the fittest so that you can make your own judgments.

Once you learn all about these details, you will be able to draw more informed conclusions.

Is bullying natural? This post may or may not give you the answer you’re looking for. However, it will prompt you to conduct some research and draw your own conclusions.

Is Bullying Natural?

Anytime I hear people refer to bullying as either of the three mentioned in this article’s title, I find it cringeworthy at best! And the words that immediately flash through my mind are “cop-out,” “trivialization,” and “excuses.”

However, the more research I do, the more I’m convinced that it is a dark part of human nature. However, it doesn’t mean it’s natural, per se. Moreover, it damn sure isn’t right, and people shouldn’t do it.

Many bullies use the natural selection, Darwinism, and survival of the fittest science as excuses to continue their behavior.

And that is what pisses me off!

When bullies describe their behavior as one of these three things, they are essentially saying that their behavior is entirely normal. Therefore, they don’t have to stop the abuse.

They’re also saying that victims are weak and undesirable. And that they should be eliminated from the human race. Moreover, they believe that bullying is required for the survival of the human race.

Bullying is not normal.

Bullying is anything but normal. It is brutal, malicious, hurtful, and cowardly.

Victims of bullying are not weak. And they are not undesirable. They may think differently from most. They are often exceptional people with brilliant minds.

Many celebrities, CEOs, inventors, writers, scientists, doctors, and professors were bullied in school. Moreover, some of them have been bullied in the workplace as adults. However, they survived.

If these people had not survived, the world might never have seen many awesome inventions.  Many breakthroughs never would have happened.

For example, Edison might not have invented the electric light bulb. Bell may not have finished inventing the telephone.

Perhaps we would never have seen the first organ transplant. Where would we be without these people?

Bullying may be a dark part of human nature. But, I would not go so far as to say that it’s natural or normal.

Is Bullying Natural?

Bullying only destroys the human race.

An example of this would be the Nazi’s bullying of Jews during World War II. As a result, they ended up slaughtering six million of them during the holocaust.

Now, do you still think that bullying is necessary for the survival of our species?

Bullying is never okay! And sadly, I’ve heard many people refer to it as one of the above three. Understand that this is only a cop-out.

It’s a way to blame victims. And, it’s an excuse not to help those who are bullied.

If you are a bully or bystander and believe this garbage, then you are only lying to yourself. If you’re a victim, rest assured that you are not weak, nor are you undesirable.

It only means that you are brave enough to think outside the box. Moreover, you refuse to be a follower.

Those are characteristics that you should be proud of. Why? Because you have the opportunity to go far and make a difference in society.

Therefore, don’t give up! Give yourself a chance! You never know. In the future, you may be the person who brings positive change to the world. And your bullies will more than likely end up living less than desirable lives.

So, what are Darwinism, natural selection, and survival of the fittest?

Is Bullying Natural?

What is Darwinism and Natural Selection?

There are 3 cop outs bullies hide behind. Darwinism, Natural Selection, and Survival of the Fittest.

Darwinism refers to the theory of natural selection. In other words, humans and animals choose mates based on their preferred inherited genes and traits. For instance, partners are likely to select those with specific physical and mental characteristics over others.

The purpose of this is to ensure the production of healthier offspring. That’s fine and dandy. I get that. However, bullying has nothing to do with natural selection. Why? Because bullying is abuse.

It’s one thing not to prefer a particular person for a relationship or friendship. That’s okay because we like what we like. However, when a bully sets out to bully a target, they must stalk them to do it.

Again, bullying is abuse. Natural selection doesn’t involve bullying. You choose certain people over others. And it doesn’t have to involve bullying.

This is why Darwinism and Natural Selection are excuses bullies use to cop out behind.

When you choose a particular person over the other, it doesn’t involve bullying the other. In other words, just because someone chooses someone else over you, it doesn’t mean they’re out to harm you. Bullying, on the other hand, seeks to do deliberate harm.

What is Survival of the Fittest?

Survival of the fittest is the theory that organisms best suited to their environment are more likely to survive, reproduce, and pass their superior genes to their offspring.

Again, this doesn’t involve bullying. It simply means that those who are best suited to their environments are more likely to survive. For instance, an Inuit can survive in cold climates. In contrast, someone from the tropics will have a hard time adapting and surviving in the Arctic.

It doesn’t involve bullying.

Is Bullying Natural?

5 myths about bullying we need to be aware of

Myths are often mistaken for facts. Therefore, they can obscure people’s judgment. They can also blind you to bullying behavior, even when it’s happening right in front of your face.

Moreover, myths can even make it hard for a person to know when someone is abusing them.

Here are a few myths to be aware of:

Myth 1. Targets are weak losers who deserve bullying.

People suffering at the hands of bullies are not weak, nor are they losers. Over the past decade or so, we have found that bullies tend to target those who are genuinely good people with kind hearts.

Bullies are evil people who perceive goodness, kindness, and generosity as weaknesses. Therefore, they target people who have these qualities.

Additionally, bullies often target those who are multi-talented, star achievers, and performers. Understand that bullies perceive these individuals as a threat to their power. Why? One-upmanship is one way bullies can feel a sense of power.

When high-achieving targets outshine bullies, they unwittingly provoke jealous rage in them. And these bullies will pull out all the stops to make them pay and set them up to fail.

If nothing else, understand this! Bullies hate to be outshone, outdone, or beaten at anything! Nobody deserves bullying. Ever! Bullying is harmful and can destroy someone’s life.

There are myths about bullying that don’t help.

Is Bullying Natural?

Myth 2. Bullies are brave, strong, cool, exciting, and in control.

Ha! Bullies are the opposite of these things. Let’s explain further.

Bullies are brave.

Nope! Bullies are great, big cowards, but they’re good at hiding it. Bullies live by the motto that strength comes in numbers, so they run around in packs. They hide their cowardice behind groups of sycophants or flying monkeys.

You will never catch a bully alone because a bully doesn’t know how to stand alone. Their followers are there to support them and do their bidding.

Bullies get their power from an entourage. Without their wingmen to cover them, they would be powerless.

Bullies are strong.

No! Bullies are weak. However, they hide that behind a veneer of aggression and false bravado. Understand that bullies draw their power from the fear they instill in others.

What bullies are is a bunch of bluffs, blowhards, and windbags. The tough act they put on is a way they hide their weaknesses.

Bullies are cool.

Wrong! Bullies are pathetic. They bluff, they posture, and they one-up people. They always have to be better than anyone else.

All of this are signs of insecurity and self-loathing. Because if they were secure in themselves, they wouldn’t resort to this kind of buffoonery.

Is Bullying Natural?

Bullies are exciting.

They may seem exciting at first, but they quickly become boring. Why? Because they’ll talk incessantly about themselves.

They will brag and showboat until you’ll want to chew off your arm to get away from them. And they won’t be so exciting once they turn on you.

Bullies are in control.

Really? Is that what you want to call it? Um… not!

Bullies can’t control themselves and their own pathetic lives. So, they seek to control you to feel powerful. And in doing that, they not only create victims, they also develop enemies who hate them with a passion.

If you’re a bully, you may only control someone to a certain degree. You may put the fear of God in them. But you’ll never control what they think of you and how they feel about you.

Why? Because the mind and thoughts are free. And if you run across a person who has a strong sense of self and doesn’t fall for your guff, what are you going to do then?

Is Bullying Natural?

Myth 3. “Bullying is a normal rite of passage that all kids endure.”

Not so. There’s nothing normal about bullying. It’s perverse, twisted, and sick.

Bullying only speaks volumes about their own mental imbalance and lack of character. A bully’s behavior doesn’t reflect on you. It only reflects on them.

And the more we learn about bullying, the more evidence we seem to get that supports this.

Myth 4. Bullying builds character.

No, it doesn’t. It tears it down. Why? Because it erodes the confidence you were born with. It causes anxiety because, when you’re bullied, you no longer feel safe.

Myth 5. Bullying is only Natural Selection and Survival of the Fittest.

It may be a dark part of human nature. But a reason doesn’t equal an excuse. Bullies and their enablers often use this little line as an excuse to normalize their pathetic behavior.

It’s important to dispel these myths. So, do not fall for this garbage.

Never blame yourself for other people’s crappy behavior. Hold on to your truth. And if anyone rattles off any of the above lines to you when you speak out against bullying, counter them and do it with conviction.

Is Bullying Natural?

In Closing:

Bullies are all about abusing others, then making excuses for it. Even bystanders and schools make excuses for bullies. And the myths only serve to encourage bullies and blame victims.

However, bullying is harmful, and it can be dangerous to victims! The effects are often devastating.

Therefore, the next time someone bullies you and makes excuses for it, call them out on their bullshit. And do it straight to their faces.

See their behavior for what it is. Abuse!

This post was all about whether bullying is natural so that you can recognize hogwash and counter it confidently.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Myths: 5 Widely-Held Beliefs about Bullies and Victims 

2. Excuses Schools Make for Bullies: Here are 7 Most Common

3. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

bullying characteristics in the workplace

Bullying Characteristics: 10 Bullying Behaviors to Be Aware of

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‘Want to know all the bullying characteristics? Here is all the information you need to know.

bullying characteristics

Bullying exhibits both evident and subtle characteristics.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about several bullying characteristics so that you can recognize them immediately and deal with them accordingly.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to notice bullying when it happens and stand up to it confidently.

This post is all about recognizing bullying characteristics, so you can identify even subtle forms of bullying when they occur and defend yourself against bullies.

Bullying Characteristics

If you watch closely, you will notice that bullies and bullying have certain characteristics. Here’s what they are.

1. Craving Power and control over others.

One of the main characteristics of bullying is the desire to have power and control over others. Most bullies can’t control their own lives. Therefore, to compensate for this, they seek to exert power and control over their victims.

Now, bullies know that they can’t ride roughshod over just anyone. Therefore, they are very careful in who they select to take power over. In other words, bullies choose their victims wisely.

Therefore, if they choose you, let them know that they chose the wrong person to bully. Stand up for yourself. Make them regret they ever looked in your general direction!

2. Targeting those who are weaker.

Picking on those who display weakness is also one of the main characteristics of bullying.

For example, school bullies often target individuals who are weaker than they are. These are kids with low self-esteem and those who are shy.

Additionally, they may target individuals who are physically smaller and weaker than they are, those lacking social skills, and loners.

Why? Because these are the students who will least likely defend themselves. Children with low self-esteem may believe that they don’t deserve respect. Therefore, they don’t fight back.

Kids who are smaller may be too afraid to stand up to bigger bullies. And those who have the least social intelligence may not know how to stand up for themselves.

Therefore, these kids are the most susceptible to being bullied.

They rarely pursue other students who are confident and have healthy self-esteem. The reason they are selective is that they are cowards. They know that the confident students will likely stand up to them.

Therefore, bullies like to pick easy targets. If you are one of those victims, start standing up for yourself. And do it with strength!

3. Bullying Characteristics:

Trying to Bring down those who are confident.

This happens mainly in the workplace. School bullies go after the weak. However, workplace bullies are different than school bullies.

Bullies at work like to target coworkers who threaten their positions. Therefore, they target the people who are the most confident and knowledgeable.

Now, bullies on the job may target those who are weaker. However, they primarily target the confident and competent coworkers.

Why, because they are highly jealous of those who outshine them. Remember that workplace bullies are often trying to advance in the corporate hierarchy. And they do this by taking down anyone who performs better than they do.

For instance, if you are confident and intelligent, they may undermine your confidence by pointing out your mistakes during a meeting. They may also talk over you to make you look weak.

Here’s how you defend yourself against this form of bullying. When the bully talks over you, keep speaking. Don’t pause, no matter how hard it may be not to. Also, stay confident. You do this by knowing where the bullying comes from.

4. Psychological Warfare.

Physical bullying is too apparent. Therefore, most seasoned bullies in school and adults at work use psychological warfare against you.

Moreover, psychological bullying is one of the least noticeable characteristics of bullying. So, why do the most talented bullies use psychological tactics to bully you?

It’s because psychological bullying doesn’t leave any bruises or cuts. In other words, it’s the least evident and hardest to prove.

Psychological bullies bully by inflicting verbal abuse. They may also spread rumors and lies to tarnish your reputation and destroy your relationships.

Again, counter this kind of bullying. If it’s verbal, counter it. If it’s social bullying, stay true to yourself. This will reveal who your true friends are.

5. Bullying Characteristics:

Relational Bullying

The destruction of relationships and severing social connections are also characteristics of bullying. Moreover, they are forms of psychological bullying.

Bullies destroy your relationships and social life by spreading rumors and lies about you. They sow division between you and your friends by telling them that you’re talking badly about them behind their backs.

Moreover, bullies in power may threaten to harm your friends if they continue to associate with you. Why do they do this?

They do this to instill fear in your friends, hoping they will turn against you.

The reasons bullies do this are to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Your bullies know that if they can do this, the least likely people will stand up for you.

And they realize that the best way to keep others from aligning with you is to alienate you from them. They alienate you by instilling fear in your friends and loved ones.

Moreover, they know that if they plant seeds of doubt in your friends’ and loved ones’ minds about you, they have better chances of turning these people against you.

If your bullies can turn everyone against you, then they get to bully you anytime they want without the risk of turning everyone against them.

To protect against this kind of bullying, stay true to yourself. Those who genuinely like and love you won’t fall for their garbage. And those who do will only reveal their true slimy selves to you.

6. Bullying Characteristics:

Verbal Bullying

There are two ways bullies may verbally abuse you. They may be sneaky about it. Or, if they’re brazen, they may do it openly.

However, they do it, bullies verbally assault you to tear down your confidence and make you feel bad about yourself. Verbal bullying is a form of brainwashing.

Why? Because it can cause you to doubt your worth. All they have to do is inflict the abuse repeatedly and for long enough.

And, the more they repeat it, the more likely you are to start believing them. Bullies know that if they can get you to believe them, then you’ll likely live up to it.

And if you live up to it, then they’ll no longer have to work so hard. Why? Because you’ll begin confirming what they claim to have known all along.

That you really are no good!

Therefore, to keep this from happening, you must counter this type of bullying. Say something back. For instance, if the bully tells you that you aren’t worth a damn, you can say, “Maybe to you I’m not, but to many others, I’m the world.”

7. Non-Verbal Bullying

Non-verbal bullying is bullying through gestures and body language. Bullies may also use facial expressions to let you know that they’re watching you.

For instance, a bully may glare at you. They may stare you down. And, they may do it for a long time, without blinking.

Why do bullies do this? Simple. They do it to dominate and intimidate their victims.

Your bully may also pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand. They may flip you off.  Also, they might look at you, then take their thumb and make a cutting throat motion.

Understand that all these gestures and expressions are designed to intimidate you.

Moreover, non-verbal bullying is sneaky. Bullies use this kind of bullying to keep others from catching them in the act.

How you stand up to this kind of bullying is to mirror the same body language back to the bully. For example, if the bully gives you a dirty look, return the gesture.

8. Bullying Characteristics:

Keeping victims confused

Being bullied by someone who is passive-aggressive is the most demeaning and humiliating experience for a person. I say this because when these types of people insult you, they’re slick about it.

They catch you off guard. They taunt you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out who it’s aimed at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you. That is, until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you.

While you may be unaware, any bystanders nearby will immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see more clearly from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. Moreover, they can quickly fly over your head. And you end up looking weak and like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time.

Even though the bully’s words are vague and unclear, they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They will take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.

Why? Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

But understand that although the bully and a few others might think he is witty. Even if the creep slapped you with a good burn, there are reasons why they’re so slick with the mouth.

It’s because, again, they’re cowards. And, again, they want to confuse you to keep you from standing up to them.

But stand up to them anyway. There are ways you can stand up to this type of bullying.

9. Bullying Characteristics:

Physical Bullying

Physical bullies may beat you up to make you do what they want. Understand that this is a weakness because people only submit because they don’t want to get whipped.

In other words, they never do it because they want to, but to keep themselves safe from harm.

True influence is when someone does something for you because they genuinely want to do it. When people have a choice and they choose to do something you want, the result is so much more rewarding.

Understand that these bullies see everything as zero-sum. They either have total control or no control at all. There’s no in-between. If they can’t have complete influence, they feel ineffective and powerless.

Bullies usually get physical when they’ve tried everything else. In other words, when nothing else works, they turn to physical abuse as a last resort.

Anytime someone physically attacks you, you must defend yourself. Also, you can call the police. Whatever you do, don’t just do nothing. You must stand against this type of bullying.

10. Cyber-Bullying

Cyber-bullying is the most malicious and dangerous form of bullying. This is because a much wider audience sees the attacks. Also, there’s a high degree of anonymity. Why? Cyberbullies hide behind fake screen names and profiles to avoid exposure.

Cyberbullies are cowards. They fear being detected for the sick creeps they are. So, they use your private message inbox to unleash their vitriol onto you.

Even if you delete the person from your friends’ list, they can still flame you through the inbox.

Many cyberbullies think that you will be so emotional that you won’t think to take a screenshot of the message. Therefore, they will be emboldened to continue this behavior until you properly address the situation.

So, stay calm. Never react to the vile messages by sending evil messages of your own. Don’t call them names, even if they start out name-calling you. Do not react by cursing the cyberbully out or using all caps.

Instead, don’t respond. Just delete and block them. They may make more fake accounts. However, block them too.

This post was all about bullying characteristics so that you can recognize them and stand up to them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use 

2. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets 

3. Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls 

popularity and bullying in school

Popularity and Bullying

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‘Want to know how popularity and bullying can go hand in hand. Here is all the information you need to know.

popularity and bullying

In this post, you will learn about popularity and bullying so that you can call it out and protect yourself from it.

Once you learn all the ins and outs of this kind of bullying, you will be able to recognize it, call it out, predict your bullies’ behavior, and defend yourself.

This post is all about popularity and bullying, so that you can recognize how they connect and protect yourself from popular bullies.

Popularity and bullying

Most popular people like to bully others. It’s just what they do. Here’s why they do it and what you can do to protect yourself.

Bullying for Increased Social Status

Bullies not only use bullying to control you. They also use it as a vehicle to achieve a higher social status.

And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that, when someone bullies you, their social status rises, while yours falls. They benefit at your expense.

For many, having their peers admire them is the end-all be-all. It adds more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth.

One can achieve an elevated social status through wealth and material possessions. However, they can attain it through bullying if the bully lacks financial means.

On the other hand, if the bully does have material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake.

It’s not something he feels he must do to raise his status. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

Popularity and Bullying:

Why DO popular people bully?

1. Because they have social capital.

It’s because they have the social capital to protect them from wrongdoing. Bullies with social capital are the most destructive

These are the bullies who enjoy the most social connections and friends in high places. A vast majority of people either think well of them or fear them.

This includes classmates at school and coworkers at work. They can also be those in the neighborhood or community.

Bullies can be the “cool kids” at school, the “Good Old Boys” clique at work, or the dominant group in town. These bullies can also include local politicians, businessmen, or members of prominent families in a particular area.

Their popularity is their weapon.

It doesn’t matter how much money you have, it’s how much power you have.

Although money does help, these folks don’t necessarily have to be rich to have these connections. I’ve known many who were quite poor and had a lot of power. Why? Because of the relationships they maintained with influential people.

What gives them the power they have is their connections with the right people. This is why bullies in these select groups are particularly dangerous and can cause you the most harm.

These types of bullies proactively build a network of social relationships. Moreover, they do this to reinforce their power and get protection from any accountability for wrongdoing.

In many cases, they already have well-established ties that date back several years. I can’t stress this enough. So, I’ll repeat it.

Those who are popular do not have to be rich. In fact, most of them aren’t. I’ve met many people who were poor but popular, and wealthy individuals who weren’t.

Money does not equal popularity.

Popularity and Bullying:

Bullies with social connections.

Bullies build connections that benefit them with protection and keep them above reproach. Moreover, these connections give them carte blanche to ride roughshod over anyone freely and with impunity.

They may perpetuate a culture of bullying.

These are the types who will watch their enemies closely. They know they have good name recognition. Therefore, they take advantage of it.

Whenever a bully has a significant amount of social capital, others are less likely to risk pissing them off. Why? Because they may become the next target.

And chances are that if they target you, their groupies and flying monkeys will only follow their lead.

Bullies with power have many wannabes who surround them. These groupies will bully you simply because it’s what the bigger bullies expect of them.

This is why the most popular and well-connected bullies get away with deplorable behavior. Heck! They can do anything they want to anyone.

Therefore, if you become a target of one of them, they will use their influence and connections to destroy every aspect of your life. And they’ll never stop coming after you.

Popular bullies are very influential, persuasive, and, most of all, convincing.

It’s how they were able to achieve their popularity in the first place.

Their names alone carry significant weight behind them. They possess trust, mutual understanding, and shared values and behaviors that promote unity and strengthen their group.

When one of these bullies says something, others, even those outside their circle, listen.  And they take their word as fact!

Popularity and Bullying:

Sacred Cows.

I call these people “sacred cows”. Why?  Because they are the most popular. They have the most power and influence in a school, corporation, or community. They have so much of it that others don’t dare question or speak against them, even if they’re wrong.

In fact, they may get rewarded for their behavior.

Therefore, with sacred cows, people may not necessarily like them. They may even hate them but, you can be sure that they fear them.

So, even haters are careful not to speak against them publicly or within earshot of the wrong people.

If you’re a target of bullies who have social capital, know that they can make your life hell. They can tarnish your name with smear campaigns.

And others will believe it simply because of who the rumors and lies come from. They can also cause the loss of your job and block you from finding new employment. As a result, these bullies can rob you of your ability to make a living.

Popularity can be a powerful weapon!

These bullies can destroy your ability to make new friends because others will be too afraid to associate with you. In other words, you become radioactive!

When bullies are popular and well-liked, no one wants to do anything that might upset them. Therefore, they play it safe and avoid you like a bad disease.

If you own a business, bullies with popularity can discourage customers from patronizing it. They can also have their worker bees set fire to it and burn it down.

And don’t put it past them to trump up false charges against you. They may set you up to be arrested.

For example, if they know a few crooked law enforcement officers, they may have them pull you over on the way home from work.

And these bad cops may plant drugs in your car to have an excuse to throw you in the slammer. If that doesn’t work, they may send henchmen to visit you or meet you on the street somewhere.

Popularity and Bullying:

These bullies are the biggest crooks because they’re popular.

Your self-esteem can also take a harder hit because of these bullies’ popularity. And you’re likely to be paralyzed with fear, especially if you’re a kid in school.

Here are a few things you can do to insulate yourself from popular bullies.

Remember that even the most popular bullies have enemies. And some of those enemies may be just as powerful. Also, bear in mind that you aren’t the only person these creeps have bullied.

There were others before you, and there will be others after you. Bullies with popularity love to throw their weight around. And if they can’t do it with you, they’ll find someone else to buffalo.

Build your own social capital.

Find out who else these brutes have tormented. Then, befriend and align yourself with them..

If you can find those who were once a part of the bullies’ circle but were ousted, that’s even better! These former friends likely have private and sensitive information about each of the bullies.

Moreover, they probably know some damaging info about their sycophants as well. These individuals will likely be seeking some form of retribution.

Therefore, they’ll be only too happy to give you all the juicy details!

Establish tight connections with your fellow victims. Cozy up to anyone the bullies have double-crossed. Band together with them. Why? Because nothing unites people like the shared anger and hatred toward an enemy.

Popularity and Bullying:

Establish connections with your bullies’ enemies.

Pal around with them. Eat out with them. Be sure you’re seen with as many of these victims as possible. This will provide you with a little protection!

The more targets and outcasts you connect and bond with, the better! And always have their backs and make sure they have yours!

Also, make friends, take jobs, and seize opportunities that are outside the bullies’ element. If necessary and all else fails, consider moving to a new area.

Tell no one of your plans or where you’re moving to. Sometimes, it’s just best to vanish!

Do these things, and you’ll be much safer!

This post is all about popularity and bullying, so that you know what to expect from popular bullies and ways to protect yourself from them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why People Reward Bullies

2. Reasons Why People Bully – 7 Most Common Motives

3. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

4. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

passive-aggressive bullying at school

Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

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‘Want to know about passive-aggressive bullying, better known as sneak-dissing? Here is everything you need to know.

passive-aggressive bullying

This type of bullying isn’t easy to recognize. It’s even harder to call out because you risk looking foolish.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about passive-aggressive bullying. Additionally, you will learn how to recognize it using context and identify it accordingly.

Once you learn all about this critical information, you will be better able to see it and point it out. Moreover, you will be able to expose the bully for who they are. A coward! And you will help others see the real person inside them, too.

This post is all about recognizing and calling out passive-aggressive bullying so that you can do so confidently.

Passive-Aggressive Bullying

Being bullied by someone who is passive-aggressive is the most demeaning and humiliating experience for a person. I say this because when these types of people insult you, they’re slick about it.

They catch you off guard. They taunt you in such a way that you may have difficulty figuring out who it’s aimed at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you. That is, until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. Instead, they’ll tell it to everyone else around you… right in front of you. 

However, they’ll do it in a way that leaves you in doubt. You will question yourself.

  • “Am I hearing this correctly?”
  • “Is this creep talking to me without saying it directly to me?

It’s understandable. The last thing you want is to look foolish if the person is talking about someone else and not you. However, your gut is nagging the hell out of you.

And while you may not be sure, you can bet that any bystanders and witnesses nearby immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see so much clearly from the outside.

What is Sneak Dissing?

What I just described above is known as a sneak diss. Sneak dissing is a form of attack where a passive-aggressive bully talks about someone without mentioning their name.

If they do it within earshot, they won’t call you by name, but they will talk about you. The reason bullies do this is to avoid a direct conflict with you. In other words, the bully is a coward.

Passive-Aggressive bullying:

Sneak Dissing is a coward’s way of addressing an issue.

Therefore, it’s easier for you to stand up to this kind of bullying once you recognize it. Believe me. You’ll know they’re talking about you.

How? Your gut instinct will be nagging you like an alarm clock that won’t shut off.

What’s so terrible about sneak dissing is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. They can quickly fly over your head. And you end up looking weak and like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time.

And even though the bully’s words are vague and unclear, they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They will take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.

Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

The bully and a few others might think he’s witty. Moreover, bystanders might believe that the creep slapped you with a good burn. However, there are reasons why these types are so slick with their mouths.

Why some bullies use passive-aggressive abuse.

 

1. They’re great big cowards.

Passive-aggressive bullies don’t have the guts to make a direct attack.

In fact, they hope the insults go over your head. They want to confuse you and throw you off-balance. Why? Because if the can confuse you, the least likely you are to clap back.

The last thing this bully wants is for you to come back with a good counter-attack and make them look like a punk.

2. Passive-Aggressive Bullying:

They think it makes them look cute.

Passive-aggressiveness is also used to get attention and look intelligent in front of others. The only way these bullies can achieve this is to humiliate you. And if they can make you look and feel foolish in public, all the better!

3. To stun you and keep you silent.

Often, the shock value of the insults is such that it leaves the recipient and bystanders speechless. Shock shuts down the ability to think clearly. Therefore, it causes you to pause for a second or two.

In other words, it leaves you stunned. As a result, you’re standing there with your mouth hanging open and unable to respond quickly and appropriately.

This makes you appear slow and feeble-minded to bystanders, while the bully looks smart and witty.

It can also strike fear into you and keep you from speaking out. Therefore, you’ll stay silent. And why not? You’ll be afraid that the bully will only verbally beat you down with more wisecracks.

4. Easy Deniability.

If the insults are vague and indirect, there’s a higher chance the bully will escape accountability. If you catch it right away and respond to it, you may appear to be the instigator.

Then, your bully can easily misconstrue the message. They can defensively claim, “Oh, that’s not what I meant,” “No harm intended,” “I wasn’t referring to you,” or “You took that the wrong way.”

The garbage that comes out of their mouths may be vile and directed at you. However, it will have several different meanings.

And because of those multiple meanings, the bully can very innocently explain away the put-downs. Therefore, they can make you look mentally unstable.

Passive-Aggressive Bullying:

Here’s how to read between the lines.

But here’s the good news! There are ways to read between the lines. Then you can stonewall these lowlife cowards anytime they get slick-mouthed with you.

1. Listen to your gut.

If that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach feels off and you sense something is amiss, don’t ignore it. Your gut feeling is often right, so trust it!

2. Quickly observe any surrounding bystanders.

Make a split-second micro-glance at the witnesses. Note their reactions and who they’re looking at.

Notice their facial expressions and gestures. If you see any of these expressions below, and you’re likely to notice many of them together, you are the target of the insult.

Here’s what to look for.

1. If the witnesses’ eyes widen suddenly and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth.

Bystanders will do this because they know the bully aimed their remark at you. They also know that you should have picked up on it.

Moreover, they’re wondering why you stand there and take it. You can bet that they’re thinking, “Damn! Why doesn’t she tell this asshole to go to hell? I sure as shit would!”

Some of them are probably thinking, “Man! What a wimp! No way I’d take that!”

If nothing else, understand this! Anytime a bully makes a wisecrack, your gut will let you know, and so will the reactions of the people around you. Therefore, tell the bully in no uncertain terms to get bent!

2. Passive-Aggressive Bullying:

If they alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.

Again, if your bully insults you and you’re unsure about it, others’ reactions will confirm that they did. Bystanders may do this because they’re waiting on you to buck up and let the bully have it.

Moreover, they’re wondering why you don’t.

So, tell the bully to go screw themselves. A small response is better than no response.

3. If you hear light gasps and grunts of shock from the “audience.”

Realize that the bystanders are both shocked and embarrassed for you. Again, you know what to do! Let the bully have it!

4. If you see their whole faces change suddenly, and their mouths slightly gape open.

Counter the bully’s attack.

5. If you hear soft but derisive giggles, chuckles, or laughter

Bystanders may laugh at you because they’ve lost respect for you. Moreover, they may even hate you. Therefore, they enjoy seeing people humiliate you in front of everyone.

Again, don’t take this crap lying down. Say something back. Slap the bully with a good burn. Hit them in the face with their own shit. Or tell them to get lost.

However, you respond. It’s better to counter them than to remain silent and appear a victim.

6. Passive-Aggressive Bullying:

If you see or hear snickering

Do what you must do to keep your dignity. Counter the attack.

Any number of these reactions from bystanders will give you a yes. Therefore, you can address the problem accordingly.

Here are the Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

  1. Silent Treatment
  2. Backhanded compliments
  3. Indirect criticism
  4. Subtle wisecracks and insults.
  5. Shifting blame
  6. Insinuations and Innuendos
  7. Ambiguous Language

In Closing

When some snake tries to sneak diss you, don’t ignore it. Don’t let them get away with it. Always counter passive-aggressive bullying. It’s easier than you think! Here are a few quick responses you can use.

  • “Don’t be a moron.”
  • “Blow it out your ass.”
  • “Go screw yourself.” Or, use the other word if you prefer more colorful language.

But whatever you do, don’t stay silent because you’ll only allow the bully to defeat you. Then they will repeat their behavior every time they see you.

So, don’t be an easy target. Take care of business the first time it happens.

This post was all about passive-Aggressive Bullying and sneak-Dissing so that you can Recognize it when it happens and respond accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target 

bullying and school shootings statistics

Bullying and School Shootings: 8 Facts You Need to Know

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‘Want to know about bullying and school shootings and why you should think before you act?

bullying and school shootings

According to Science Direct, “Approximately 88% of school shooters had at least one social media account, and 76% posted disturbing content of guns and threatening messages. Over 72% of shooters had at least one reported adverse childhood experience, and 60% reported being bullied in-person or online.”

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and school shootings. Moreover, you will learn why taking a gun to school is wrong whether or not you were bullied. And thirdly, you will learn all the consequences of it to yourself and everyone else.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be compelled to seek out better ways to handle it if you’re a victim of bullying.

Bullying and School Shootings

Many victims of bullying end up destroying their own lives and the lives of others by taking a gun to school and murdering their classmates. This must stop now!

However, before we get into the nitty gritty of this topic, let’s first talk about the widespread occurrences of victims using their victim-hood as an entitlement to wrongdoing.

The Dangers of Copping Out Behind Victimization

Sadly, too many victims use victimization as justification for wrongdoing. They feel that because they suffered, life owes them somehow.

In fact, I’ve seen people mistreat others merely because of the bullying they suffered in the past. Why? Because they think it’s the only way they can feel empowered again.

For example, some people may choose to rob a bank. Maybe they burn down a corporate building because they grew up poor and didn’t get a fair shake in life.

Again, they feel that the world owes them. Moreover, they feel justified in striking back against a system they believe screwed them over.

Moreover, when the law finally catches them and hauls them off to jail, they become even more embittered. Why? Because the perpetrator feels that accountability only further evidences that they aren’t getting a fair shake.

However, here’s the reality many don’t want to accept. We’re still responsible for our actions regardless of what happened to us in the past.

Here are 8 facts you need to know!

1. Bullying and School Shootings:

Victim-hood does not exempt you from consequences.

Evil behavior always brings consequences. You reap what you sow.

Therefore, past victimization does not justify wrongdoing. Ever! A reason does not equal an excuse.

Even if you’re a victim of bullying, you’re still responsible for your life.

Therefore, why not learn from the bullying you suffer. Because, believe it or not, there are lessons in it. Let it teach you something. Also, let it motivate you to create a better life for yourself later.

Realize that school is only one chapter of your life, not the entire book. And know that things will get better. They did for me and they will for you too.

Many school shootings have happen in the past thirty years. We have Columbine, Santa Fe, Parkland, and Marjory Stoneman Douglas.

Therefore, it compels me to write about something which isn’t discussed enough. It’s no surprise that bullying is a factor most school shootings.

It seems that most of today’s kids don’t have the emotional strength that those of mine and older generations had. So again, let me remind you.

Being bullied is no excuse for taking human lives.

2. Your feelings are valid but your actions aren’t.

Not if you shoot someone.

Yes. Bullying can push you to the breaking point. And yes, after years of relentless and repetitive bullying, it’s easy to snap.

Believe me, I know how it feels when school staff cruelly rebuff you when you report bullying. However, bringing a gun to school and using it isn’t the answer.

Even if you do knock off a few of your bullies and turn the gun on yourself after you’re done, you’ll still leave death and mayhem in your wake!

Those left behind will still be here to deal with what you did. And, I promise you. You’ll leave your family and the families of the ones you took in utter devastation! In fact, you’ll destroy an entire community!

And people will remember what a coward you were. All because you chose to use a gun instead of your fists! They’ll always remember how you offed yourself to avoid going to prison.

And they will talk about it for years to come. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? You have to think before you act!

Bullying and school Shootings:

Columbine

I have read many articles about the Columbine Shooting in April of 1999. Many experts stated that the perpetrators, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, had been bullied for years.

They said that the boys had gotten fed up with the continuous negative treatment. As a result, they finally went into a rage and lashed out. Sadly, many more victims of bullying have followed their example since.

I cannot stress enough how counterproductive it is to bring a gun to school! However, I believe there is something we’re missing here.

Somewhere along the way, parents have lost the ability to talk to kids about the consequence of their actions. Moreover, the mental health industry has also failed.

I know I’m going to piss a lot of people off. But, I’m going to be honest. I think that they’re in it more for the money than they are to help bullied kids. This is only my opinion.

3. public schools and the mental health industry work together.

It’s no secret that public schools and the mental health industry work together. Also, bullying in schools keeps the mental health machine humming.

It keeps the lobbies of mental health centers packed with fresh, young patients. Moreover, it keeps the pharmaceutical companies purring too.

They profit from shoving anti-depressants down these kids’ throats. Then, they send them on their way. In many cases, schools are the ones that recommend kids to these mental health facilities.

Hmmm… is it any wonder public schools do nothing to reduce bullying rates? ‘Gotta keep those mental health centers cashing in! Right?

And they have to keep Big Pharma’s pockets fat too. Mental health has become a cash cow these past few decades.

Not to mental, bullying, mental health, and school shootings make good political fodder. It keeps the left pushing for gun control and the right pushing to arm teachers and tighten school security.

Therefore, it keeps the political machine humming as well.

Bullying and School Shootings:

Teaching Bullies and Victims Personal Responsibility

Each incidence could have been prevented. Moreover, we CAN prevent the next shooting… before it happens?

Many want to preach about gun control. But, how about holding bullies accountable and teaching them better ways to deal with their emotions? How about teaching victims confidence and proper ways to defend themselves?

 And what about telling victims the truth? The cold, hard truth! That no one is coming to rescue them and it’s their responsibility to defend themselves!

Why? Because life’s not fair and it never will be. Most bullies are charming and convincing. Moreover, they will find ways of escaping accountability.

The point is that everyone has a responsibility here.

4. When You Shoot Bullies, You make them the victims.

Again, no matter how horribly you are treated, it doesn’t give you the right to harm someone. No matter how angry, sad or lonely you are, it is never okay to take a life. NEVER!

A cause is never an excuse. The only thing that justifies killing another human being is if they’re threatening your life or the lives of your family.

Murder is wrong. Moreover, there are better and more productive ways to handle bullying.

Let’s put it another way.  When you kill someone, you no longer get to claim victim-hood. Instead, you immediately become the aggressor and make your bully the victim!

Sorry. It is what it is!

You must understand that this is exactly what bullies want. They want to look like the victim in the eyes of others.

And they want to do it while sneakily torturing you and making you look like the bad guy. Therefore, by shooting them, you only make it so much easier for them to do that.

Remember that bullies are masters at feigning victim-hood. It’s the reason they go unpunished while you look guilty as hell.

Think about it. And think hard! Your bullies have looked innocent and vilified you for so long!Why then would you want to help them look like bigger victims?

5. Bullying and School Shootings:

When you shoot someone, your bullies’ lies about you become the truth!

Your bullies have already destroyed your reputation. Shooting them would only transform their lies into the truth.

You’ll only prove that you really are despicable person. In other words, you’ll only confirm that they were right about you all along.

Here’s another possible scenario. If you shoot your bullies, you will make them heroes. People will engrave their names on a memorial at the school. On the other hand, they’ll regard your name with contempt and disgust.

You will go down in infamy. People will view you as a disgusting and vile monster. Whereas, they’ll remember your bullies as martyrs. Seriously! Is that what you want???

Therefore, when you take the life of another human being, you not only put shame on yourself. You also put shame on your  family!

Do you really want to put the people who love you through that kind of humiliation? Once you kill someone, you can never correct it! You can never bring them back!

6. If you take a life, it won’t matter that you suffered bullying.

Nicolas Cruz didn’t think about this when he snapped and decided to go to Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School and shoot his classmates. Yes. He was a victim of bullying.

 The other kids considered him to be “weird”. One of his classmates, Emma Gonzales even admitted to bullying him.

However, he chose to handle it incorrectly. He picked up a gun and shot several classmates.

Therefore, the fact that he was bullied is no longer relevant. That’s. Just. Reality!

Bullying and School Shootings:

7. If you shoot someone without just cause, no one will care why you did it.

They won’t give a damn what your reasons were! And it’s the same attitude with Nicholas Cruz. Nobody cares that he was bullied. Nobody cares that he was pushed over the edge

The only thing that matters is that several kids are dead because of him. And if you allow your bullies to drive you to committing murder, the same will go for you.

Yes, bullying is a hell only few can comprehend. I understand the intense rage. It builds to a climax after so many years of putting up with abuse.

Moreover, I understand the feeling of hopelessness. I’ve been there… in the trenches! But! You must think before you act.

Keep your wits about you no matter how badly people bully you.

You must learn to think ahead. This means thinking of the possible consequences you’ll face. Moreover, it means considering how it’ll devastate your family, not only theirs.

Think about what it would do to your future! How many prospects and opportunities would disappear, just like that!

8. Your bullies aren’t worth it!

Don’t do it! Think before you act! There are better ways to conquer bullies and bullying.

Therefore, take revenge by taking care of yourself. Make positive changes in your life. Transfer to another school and reinvent yourself if you must. It’s what I did!

Find your purpose. Set and accomplish your goals. Strive for self-betterment! If people don’t value you, then you need to create your own value.

This could be as simple as doing something you’re good at and winning an award for it. Or making an A on a test!

Instead of picking up a gun, pick up as many successes as you can. Instead of a gun, let SUCCESS be your weapon of choice! Why? Because, as Frank Sinatra quoted, “being wildly successful is the best revenge you can ever take.”

It’s about self! Make it about you and what you can achieve! Screw your bullies! They don’t matter. In fact, they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life!

Make a lot of money! Win a truckload of awards! Write a book! Cut a CD… whatever fulfills you!

Make as many accomplishments and happy moments as humanly possible! Create your own value with SUCCESS!

This post is all about bullying and school shootings so that you’ll think before you do something drastic. Moreover, you’ll find more constructive ways to handle bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

5. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

why do schools protect bullies reddit

Why Do Schools Protect Bullies? 5 Common Reasons

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Why do schools protect bullies? This is the question on the minds of most school bullying victims. If you’re one of them, here are all the detailed reasons you need to know.

why do schools protect bullies

When a student is bullied and reports the abuse, many schools will protect the bullies instead of the kid who needs protection. They never hold them accountable for their bad behavior. Instead, they blame the victim.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the answers you need to know.

Once you learn all the answers and the details around them, you will no longer need to ask, “Why do schools protect bullies?”. Moreover, you will realize that protecting yourself from bullying is your responsibility. And you will feel better about taking the initiative and standing up to your bullies.

This post will give you all the answers when you ask, “Why do schools protect bullies,” so that you will no longer let it confuse you.

Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

If you’re bullied in school, you should follow the proper channels. You can report the bullying to your teachers and the principal. It’s only legal.

However, when you are bullied and report the abuse, many schools will only protect the bullies and blame you.

There are several reasons why schools protect bullies. However, first, let’s discuss how and why they attempt to conceal bullying.

Why do schools try to hide bullying?

Here are all the ways schools try to hide bullying.

1. They vehemently deny bullying in their facilities.

The reason they do this is to protect the school’s reputation and that of the school district. Bullying has been a topic of widespread news coverage over the last twenty-five years or so.

Moreover, the last thing any school wants is to be plastered all over the media because of a bullying incident. Therefore, they will deny that anything happened to cover it up.

2. They don’t contact the victim’s parents.

When a bully injures a child, schools often fail to report the incident to the child’s parents.  Moreover, they refuse to show any videos of bullying or fights to the bullied child’s parents. I’ve read about this many times.

Again, the reason they do this is to prevent the school’s reputation from being tarnished. Additionally, this also protects the bullies.

3. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

They answer any questions with vague statements or refuse to comment AT ALL.

The reason schools do this is to confuse the parents. They also do it to stonewall them and make them go away.

They think that if your parents give up, everything can go back to the way it was, and they won’t have to worry about their school’s reputation taking a hit.

4. They Retaliate against the bullied kid or their family.

When your parents get involved and refuse to shut up about the bullying, your school may retaliate. This doesn’t happen often, but it happens.

How schools retaliate against Bullied Students.

Many schools are vindictive toward bullied students and families who refuse to shut up about incidents of bullying. Here are the ways they retaliate.

1. They threaten to call Children’s Services

Schools do this to scare your parents into being quiet. If they can put you at risk of being removed from your home, they are more likely to silence you and your family.

Additionally, this shifts the negative spotlight away from the school and onto your family.

2. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

It’s easier to ban your parents from the school.

Parents who complain about bullying pose a threat to the school. Therefore, the school may ban the parent from school property.

If the parent is violent, then the school should ban them. However, in many cases, the parent did not resort to violence. All they did was simply bring up a bullying incident, and that was all it took for the school to ban them.

No. This doesn’t happen every day. Some schools do protect bullied kids. However, they are few and far between. And the bullying of innocent parents does happen. And it’s heartbreaking.

3. They have your parents arrested.

Again, if the parent comes to the school threatening violence and acting like a fool, I’m all for banning them and having them arrested.

However, many innocent parents have been arrested for simply addressing bullying. Sometimes this happens even if the parent handles the situation with diplomacy.

I’ve read many heartbreaking stories about similar situations.

4. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

It’s easier to Threaten you.

This happened to me years ago. Because I defended myself against many bullies, the staff made out an unruly child report and almost had me sent away.

Fortunately, I dodged that bullet. But many bullied victims don’t. And it’s sad.

5. They have you arrested and sent to the juvenile detention center.

I’ve read many stories of innocent bullying victims being sent away to juvenile detention because they fought their bullies in self-defense.

Unfortunately, zero-tolerance policies often fail to deter bullying. Sometimes, they get innocent kids in trouble for simply trying to defend themselves from physically violent bullies.

6. Why do schools protect bullies?

It’s easier to hide behind Sovereign Immunity.

Also, understand that schools have Sovereign Immunity and they will hide behind it. Sovereign Immunity is the stipulation that protects federal or state entities from litigation.

Therefore, it’s difficult to file a lawsuit against a school or school district. Parents have filed lawsuits against schools. And, yes, some have even won those lawsuits.

However, the statistics for successful cases are low.

This is why Sovereign Immunity for schools must be abolished. Moreover, they must be held accountable if a bullied student is maimed, murdered, or dies from suicide.

So, why do schools protect bullies?

1. Because the bullies have connections to people in power.

In other words, they are connected to local politicians and crime kingpins. This is especially true in small towns.

It’s because schools are afraid of pissing off those in power. If they suspend the bullies, their grades will likely drop.

Then, their powerful parents, who are likely to be adult bullies, would show up the next morning. They will demand to know why their little darlings were suspended.

If nothing else, know this. In most cases of bullying, it’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about who has the most power.

In other words, most people care less about right and wrong. What they care about is power and how you can benefit them in some way, shape, or form.

“What’s in it for me?”

2. Why do schools protect bullies?

Because the bullies often score high academically, which makes the school look good.

Schools are rated by the grades their students receive. Their graduation and dropout rates are also taken into account.

Therefore, if a school can maintain a high graduation rate and a low dropout rate, it enhances its reputation. In short, they look good.

Therefore, why would the school side with anyone other than its brightest stars and highest achievers?

If schools can crank out college candidates with high honors, all the better. And sadly, because of bullying, many targets drop out.

3. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

The bullies are athletes on the school sports teams.

Many bullies are stars of the school’s sports teams. Let’s face it. Schools have an interest in their sports teams.

They want to win games and to win in regional, state, and national championships. Why? Because it bolsters the school’s image.

And what school board member or principal wouldn’t want these things?

If the school has an excellent reputation, it’s likely to have a larger number of attending students. And more parents will likely want their kids to attend.

And the more students a school has, the more funding it receives from its state. Therefore, schools have a vested interest in maintaining a positive image.

4. The bullies are on the cheerleading squad and in sororities and fraternities.

Only students with good grades and high marks are accepted into these groups. So, it goes without saying. If they make superior grades, the school will protect them.

5. Why do schools protect bullies?

The bullies’ parents are boosters.

In other words, they are those who provide funding for the school’s programs. And trust me when I say that schools won’t risk losing these funders!

Therefore, schools will always side with the bullies and blame you because appealing to any entity’s self-interest equals POWER! And most victims of bullying, I’m sorry to say, don’t have the power that bullies have.

Remember that an imbalance of power is a primary characteristic of bullying.

6. The bullies suck up to faculty.

Like it or not, most people in power love being sucked up to. Teachers and school officials are no exception. Therefore, sucking up gives bullies many brownie points.

And school staff will protect bullies. And they will do it out of loyalty.

Why do schools protect bullies?

Schools THAT bully parents

Schools have more power than you realize. If their reputation is at risk, they will do anything to silence you and your family. They will take measures to prevent anything bad from getting out.

Sadly, many parents of bullied kids are single. And they are raising children on one paycheck. How do they fight against such powerful entities?

Understand that school officials are elected officials- politicians. And schools will protect their reputations at all costs.

How Parents can protect their children from bullying

1. Put in for a school transfer.

Although not always feasible, transferring your child to a new school is one of the best things you can do for them. A transfer will give them a fresh start with a clean slate.

And, because they’ve had no history with the other students at the new school, it will be much easier for them to make friends there.

However, what if you can’t afford it? Luckily, there’s a government program called school choice. With the school choice program, you get vouchers to send your child to any school they want to attend, even a private school.

Ways you can appeal to the school’s interests and level the playing field

If you can find a way to appeal to the school’s self-interest, then you have an ace in the hole. Here are ways you can do it!

1. Excel and keep your grades up.

I realize that this can be hard to do when you’re a target of relentless bullying. Bullying can break your concentration.

Instead of focusing on schoolwork, you naturally focus on ways to be safe. That’s completely understandable. However, you must make your bullies your motivation to excel.

There’s nothing wrong with compensating. And sometimes you must compensate to buffer your self-esteem and protect your mental health.

Therefore, if you lack friends and social connections, compensate for this by excelling in academics and improving your class performance.

It will pay huge dividends. And you’ll feel so much better about yourself.

3. Find ways to benefit the school with your talents and gifts.

If you can use your talents to bolster the school’s image, that’s a win for you. And the school will more likely support and protect you from bullies.

If you can sing, join the school choir and win in the all-state championships. Not only will you look good, but your school will also look good!

In closing:

It’s a fact that most schools ignore bullying and protect bullies. Bullies get away with bullying all the time, and some teachers may join in on the torment. It’s heartbreaking.

But don’t give up. There are things you can do to protect yourself.

This post answered the question, “Why do schools protect bullies” to get rid of any confusion and bewilderment you might have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers 

3. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

sub-types of bullies and how to deal with them

Sub-types of Bullies: 7 Personalities of Bullies

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Understanding the sub-types of bullies is crucial. It’s not just about knowing there are types of bullies, but also recognizing the sub-types. Here’s everything you need to know to protect yourself.

sub-types of bullies

Types of bullies include physical bullies, verbal bullies, cyberbullies, social bullies, and so on. With sub-types, we go deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about all the sub-types of bullies so that you can easily identify them when they come for you.

Once you learn all about these categories of bullies, you will be better equipped to defend yourself from bullying and ensure your safety.

This post is all about the sub-types of bullies so that you know who they are and can better protect yourself.

Sub-types of Bullies

Bullies come in different kinds. You can never assume how your bullies will react, as different people respond to other things in various ways.

Speak out against and expose some bullies, and they might leave you alone. Talk about others, and they’ll go to the ends of the earth to get back at you.

Therefore, you must tailor your defense strategies to the particular bully you’re dealing with. To do this, you must be able to distinguish the blowhards from the truly vindictive.

You must differentiate between the smart and the foolish. You must also separate the aggressive and the passive-aggressive.

Never deal blindly with bullies. Why? Because if you handle them willy-nilly, you’ll be at their mercy. And they’ll toss you around like a tornado tosses debris.

To successfully combat bullying, it is essential to recognize the various personality types. Otherwise, you won’t survive.

Here are all the personality types (sub-types) of bullies you likely deal with.

1. Bullies with Narcissism

They may try to hide it. However, their self-importance gives them away. They have excessive pride and an overly inflated sense of entitlement.

All this combined makes them dangerous. They believe they are beyond reproach. Therefore, if they think for a moment that you slighted them, they will pay you back with severe brutality.

Logic and rationality don’t apply to these people. They overreact to what even looks like opposition.

Sub-Types of Bullies:

All you don’t have to do anything to them for them to come after you.

You don’t have to provoke them. In fact, you don’t have to do anything at all. All you have to do is be good at something. In other words, if you outdo them at anything, they’ll take offense to it.

They’ll call you a showoff and take it as you’re trying to be better than them. And they’ll make you pay dearly. If you get recognition for a project well done, these people won’t tolerate it. They hate being in anyone’s shadow!

Bullies with narcissism are usually in the popular crowd at school or in management at work.

Don’t bother trying to second-guess them. Avoid them like the plague! Because they live to cause pain.

It’s in their psychology.

2. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Arrogant Bullies

Arrogant bullies don’t have to have narcissism. Why? Because, in many cases, arrogance comes from insecurity. People may put on an air of arrogance to hide their insecurities.

This kind of bully may have low self-esteem, but they hide that by acting like they’re better than you.

They are a close second to the bullies with narcissism. The only thing that separates them from the narcs is that the narcs really do think they’re superior.

However, the arrogant bullies want you to think they’re superior.

These bullies are harder to spot and less violent. Like those with narcissism, they have extremely fragile egos.

They are highly insecure. Moreover, if they dislike you, they’ll attack in small nibbles. You won’t realize it until they begin taking bigger swipes at you.

These bullies are usually the wannabes. They are groupies to the popular crowd at school or the suck-ups to management at work.

Avoid these people as well because they will bully you to prove their worth to the popular crowd.

3. Suspicious Bullies

These bullies only see the worst in you. They see you as a threat and think that you’re out to get them when you aren’t.

Suspicious bullies aren’t as dangerous as the previous two. You can fool these bullies much easier. And sometimes you must resort to trickery to protect yourself.

To counter these bullies, you must use their suspicions and turn them to someone else. As long as they’re bullying someone else, they’re leaving you alone.

4. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Those with photographic memories

These bullies never forget you. If you were to run into them again 30 years later, you can bet that they will target you again. They’ll pick up where they left off.

If you’re a target of these bullies, they won’t show their hatred outwardly. But they will keep their eyes on you.

They’ll lie in wait as they plot. Then, when the time is right, they’ll exact their brutality with a frigid coldness. These bullies are usually stoic.

To protect yourself, you must punish these bullies so severely that they won’t even think of coming for you again.

5. Bullies who aren’t very bright

These individuals are easy to counter and won’t anticipate your counterattack. These are the bullies you can most easily defend yourself against. Also, they’re easy to expose.

Again, you must know your bullies if you expect to overcome them. Knowing your bullies means understanding their personalities and being able to predict their future actions.

Only then will you be able to protect yourself against them.

6. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Passive-Aggressive Bullies

These types of bullies are slick with their attacks. They catch you off guard, taunting you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out if it’s you they’re aiming their attacks at.

Sometimes, you don’t even know until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. In other words, you may not know they’re talking about you.

However, bystanders will immediately know who the covert nastiness was meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see so much clearer from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. And they can quickly fly over your head.

As a result, you end up looking like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time. The bully’s words are vague and unclear. But they’ll still nibble at your self-esteem.

Passive-aggressive bullies are cowards.

They take a chunk out of your pride, whether you want them to or not. Why? Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

The bully and a few others think they’re being cute and witty. And they slap you with burn after burn. However, see these people for who they are and why they’re so slick with their mouths.

They’re nothing but cowards. Why? Because they lack the courage to make a direct attack. They’re afraid of how you might respond, so they hit you with sneak attacks to stun you into silence.

Here’s how you protect yourself from these creeps. Learn to read between the lines. Also, learn to read the room when they get slick-mouthed with you.

Also, listen to your gut. If you have a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach, don’t ignore it.

Watch the people around you. Notice their reactions. Also pay attention to any clusters. If you see any of these expressions below, you are the target of the insult.

  • Witnesses’ eyes suddenly widen and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth
  • They alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.
  • You hear light gasps and grunts of shock from the “audience.”
  • Their faces suddenly change and mouths slightly gape open.
  • You hear soft but derisive giggles, chuckles, or laughter
  • You see or hear snickering

If you notice any of these things, let the bully have it!

7. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Those who are easily Offended

For people who love to dish out the bullshit, bullies are the most easily offended. They have such fragile egos that it takes zero effort to offend them.

Understand that people who are easily offended take things completely out of context. They attach meaning to your behavior when it’s completely devoid of personal meaning.

Even if you are neutral, these bullies will find ways to turn it into a personal affront or confrontation.

With these pansies, it’s always:

  • “She doesn’t agree with everything I say, do, and think, so that means she doesn’t like me!”
  • “He has a different opinion than me, so that means he’s looking down his nose at me!”
  • “She doesn’t like the same things I like, so that means she hates me!”

When they do this, they presume to know what you’re thinking and feeling.

In Closing

In life, you will run into all kinds of bullies. This is why you must understand their personality types so that you can better predict their behavior. Then, you can tailor your defense tactics

This post was all about the sub-Types of bullies so that you can predict their next move and tailor your defense against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies

2. Sadistic Personality: Bullies who Bully for Pleasure 

How to Prove Workplace Bullying: 3 Types of Proof You Need

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‘Want to know how to prove workplace bullying? Here are three types of proof you should be familiar with.

how to prove workplace bullying

Workplace bullying is often more challenging to prove than school bullying. The reason for this is that adults are generally more skilled at concealing their intentions than schoolchildren and teenagers.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to prove workplace bullying so that you will have the materials you need to present during company tribunals or in court.

Once you have learned all about this crucial information, you will be able to gather your evidence and prove your case confidently.

This post is all about how to prove workplace bullying so that you can save your reputation and get the justice you deserve.

How to Prove Workplace Bullying

Workplace bullying is the most difficult to prove. Why? Because adults are much better at hiding their bullying than kids in school. Moreover, companies are good at covering up bullying incidents and protecting themselves from legal consequences.

Therefore, you must gather your evidence on your own.

When you report bullying at work, HR will likely tell you that they will conduct an investigation and get back with you. However, never rely on that. Here’s why.

1. HR will only look out for the company’s interests, not yours.

They may tell you that they’ll protect you. However, this is a lie that has sold many bullied employees down the river.

Additionally, if the bully is a superior, such as a supervisor or manager, you can be certain that HR will likely protect them rather than you.

Just by being higher up than you on the corporate ladder, HR will more than likely take their word over yours. That’s just how it works.

2. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

By reporting bullying, you automatically become a liability.

HR will never tell you this. However, once you report bullying and submit that grievance form, they will consider you a threat to the company.

They may claim to have an open-door policy. But the reality is that most companies despise employees who complain even once.

When you complain, you make waves. Therefore, they’ll begin watching you and looking for any reason to terminate you.

Therefore, it would be best if you quietly gathered your evidence before reporting bullying and submitting a grievance form. Why? Because if you already have the proof you need, you will throw HR off balance.

You may even throw them into panic mode. Then, they will more than likely make mistakes that benefit you.

So, What are the three types of evidence you need?

The workplace can be very cutthroat. Therefore, gather your evidence quietly. The trick is not to let on that anything is happening until you have already collected your proof.

If you keep it quiet while gathering evidence, your workplace bullies won’t need to watch their behavior. Therefore, let them think that they have you over a barrel. Keep them comfortable with their abuse.

Why?  Because when someone is relaxed, they expose themself. That’s what you want!

Here is the proof you’ll need.

1. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

Your own documentation.

If you want to gather evidence that people are bullying you at work, writing about it can be the first step to making a record of the attacks.

The best way to do this is to keep a bullying journal. Journals are the best way for you to protect yourself.

When you keep a journal of bullying, you establish a pattern of bullying that is believable. Moreover, you also provide evidence to present in court if you decide to go the legal route.

Also, keep your journal safe at home. Never take it to work with you. Why? Because bullies are known for plundering through your office and your desk after you’ve gone home for the day.

Therefore, you risk them finding your journal and snooping through it. So, keep it home.

Write about any of the day’s bullying events as soon as you get home, while your memory is still fresh. The sooner you write about it, the better.

When documenting bullying in your journal, be sure to use the 5-W method.

the 5-W Method

1. What

Write in your journal what happened. And when you write about it, describe the incident exactly as it unfolded. Include any exchanges of dialogue and by whom.

2. Who

Identify the bullies by writing down their full names. If necessary, include their titles and positions. Also, include the names, titles, and positions of any bystanders and witnesses.

If any supervisors are present, please add their names, titles, and positions as well. They may not want to provide any testimonies. Additionally, they may even deny witnessing the bullying incident.

However, if you document correctly, your bullying journal will expose them for the liars and cowards they are.

3. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

When

Record the date and exact time of the incident. This is very important!

4. Where

 You must include where the incident happened. For instance, did it happen in the company bathroom? Record that. Did it occur in the parking lot? Write that in your journal.

5. Why

Write down why it happened. For example, was the bully retaliating because you reported prior harassment?. Write down every detail!

If you don’t know why it happened, write that down. Moreover, if necessary, also describe how the incident occurred. You owe it to yourself to document the bullying.

How not to record in Your Journal

Pay attention to the quality of your documentation. Make sure that you write everything neatly and legibly. The last thing you want is writing that isn’t easy to read.

Don’t be vague. And don’t write how they made you feel. Here are examples of wrong statements in documentation.

  • “Her words made me feel hurt and embarrassed.”
  • “He assaulted me.” This is why detailed documentation is so crucial.

Always write everything down in the tiniest details possible. And no hearsay. In other words, none of the “he said, she said” stuff. Ever!

If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, it’s best not to write about it. Instead, only record your own experiences.

If people are bullying you, I can’t stress enough how important it is to have documentation of it. Documentation gets more credit than spoken words.

Why? Because when you use the spoken word to describe what you’ve experienced, you can become emotional. Then, you will end up rambling about it. And it will hurt you more than it will help.

When you’re being bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. You must be proactive and document! It’s truly the best defense there is!

2. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

Recordings.

You can use a hidden body camera or a digital recorder. You can use both, if you prefer. However, here’s a word of caution. You must get familiar with the laws in your state on recordings.

Some states have a one-party consent rule, and others have a two-party consent rule. If you live in a one-party consent state, using recordings to gather evidence is illegal.  And it could easily backfire on you.

On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you are free to record. Therefore, consider wearing a hidden body camera or carrying a digital voice recorder to work.

But read the company’s policy first. Some companies have clauses that prevent recordings on their property.

3. How to Prove Workplace Bullying:

Electronic Evidence: Screenshots, saved emails, and saved messages.

Take screenshots of any company email exchanges between you and your bully. However, chances are that your company has software that monitors the entire network. In other words, they will be watching you.

Moreover, they will watch and record every keystroke you make. So, if you use the company computer to take screenshots, they’ll know it.

Therefore, use your phone to take pictures of the email exchanges. When you do it this way, you won’t blow your cover, and you’ll continue to keep your investigation secret.

If bullies bully you at work, there’s a good chance they’ll stalk your social media pages, get your email address, and bully you online too.

Therefore, save everything on three or more different flash drives. Then, keep each flash drive in a different place. The trick is to take precautions in case someone connected to your bullies breaks into your house to conduct a little snooping.

This doesn’t happen often. However, it has happened, and you want to take precautions.

If your workplace bully sends you a mean or threatening text, save it. The more evidence you gather, the more you build your case. Therefore, the more likely you are to get justice.

In Closing

When you’re being bullied or mobbed at work, I want to emphasize the importance of gathering your own evidence. HR may try to assure you that they’ll conduct an investigation. However, you should never take that at face value.

Realize that HR is only looking out for the company’s best interests. Therefore, you must look out for yours.

This is not the time to by lazy. So, do what you must do to gather evidence of bullying and build your case. Nobody can watch your ass but you.

This post was all about how to prove workplace bullying so that you can build a good case and win!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying

2. How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal

3. Bullying Journal: 8 Reasons You Should Keep One