Category: bullying

bullying and trauma symptoms

Bullying and Trauma

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Bullying and trauma go hand in hand. ‘Want to know how bullying causes trauma? Here is a list of trauma symptoms that bullying causes that you must know about.

bullying and trauma

You don’t have to be a combat soldier or veteran to have PTSD. Victims and survivors of rape and incest can develop it. Targets and survivors of severe bullying and abuse can also have it.

In this post, you will learn all about bullying and trauma. You will also learn about the symptoms of trauma that are caused by bullying.

Once you learn about these informative topics, you will be better equipped to recognize trauma and seek the help you need.

This post is all about bullying and trauma, so that you can recognize it in yourself and a bullied loved one and know when to get help.

Bullying and Trauma

Although many people survive and, better yet, overcome whatever or whoever tried to harm them, it still leaves scars on their psyches. Therefore, your ability to regulate emotions is deeply affected, as is your ability to find stability, happiness, joy, love, and intimacy.

I know this from firsthand experience.

If you’re anything like I was back in the 1990s, during my twenties, all it takes is for someone to stare or look at you the wrong way. Then, you’ll ask them very belligerently what their major malfunction is.

Moreover, if someone gets in your face, approaches you in a threatening manner, or does anything to provoke you, you’ll do one of two things:

You’ll get away from the person, or you’ll do what I did: put up your fists and dare them to try something.

So, what are the bullying and trauma symptoms?

1. Hyper-Vigilance

When you’re hyper-vigilant, you constantly stay on guard for whatever it is that threatened you in the past. Therefore, if you were a victim of bullying, you should consistently watch out for bullies. Also, you’re determined that no one will ever bully you again.

Constantly having to watch your back can get exhausting. Therefore, find a therapist. If you can’t find one, talk to a trusted friend or family member. If that isn’t possible, write it down in a journal or diary.

The point is to get it out and begin healing, because you can’t live this way for the rest of your life.

2. You’re constantly ready to fight.

This goes along with hyper-vigilance.

For example, you’re 23 years old and five years out of high school. You’re standing in the checkout line at the supermarket.

While having your groceries rung up by the clerk, the woman behind you is cursing and shouting at you to “hurry up.” Moreover, she’s a woman you’ve been at odds with for a while now.

When you hand the cashier your cash to pay for the groceries, the woman points her finger right in your face. Consequently, your automatic response is to grab her by the back of her head and slam her face against the checkout counter.

Understand that this is a knee-jerk reaction. However, knee-jerk responses get people into trouble.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to tell them off in as few words as possible. Then, walk away. In other words, never stay silent; instead, get your point across using concise language, then move on. There’s no need to get physical.

This is a better alternative when someone is running their mouth. However, if they put a finger in your face, no law says you can’t grab their finger and shove it away.

And if the person tries to hit you, then it’s time to throw up those dukes and defend yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with self-defense. It’s how we set boundaries. It’s how we teach people to respect our personal space and keep their hands to themselves.

3. Bullying and trauma:

you have Trust issues.

Targets want to trust, relax, and feel comfortable in social situations. Only they don’t know who to trust. Therefore, it’s much safer not to trust anyone- safer to put up walls and keep the rest of the world out.

Survivors have built invisible fortresses around themselves for protection. The problem with this is that these protective fortresses can become prisons and sometimes tombs!

This is what trauma does.

Here’s why this happens:

  • You’ve been an outcast for so long that you don’t trust invitations to events. Even worse, you don’t trust people enough to talk to them.
  • People have mistreated you for so long that you’ve lost faith in humanity.
  • Bullies and their followers have, in the past, baited you into trusting them somehow, only to pull some cruel joke on you. Therefore, you no longer risk being fooled again.

Understand that you need a human connection. And trust issues are a factor that reinforces isolation. It’s a terrible existence and can sometimes create a temptation for suicide.

Therefore, you must force yourself to get out of the house. Visit a family member or go to a museum if you must.

Moreover, if a loved one is struggling, speak to them lovingly. Do some investigating and find out why.

4. Bullying and Trauma:

You Fear Conflict.

Conflict is a part of life and something we all face at some point. However, many victims and survivors of bullying are afraid of conflict.

Why? Because bullies have forced so much of it on them in the past that they can no longer bear the thought of another confrontation.

Moreover, they haven’t dealt with the hurts. And they don’t know their worth. Many targets and survivors of bullying have Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

Therefore, they remain stuck in a state of survival mode.

As a result, they cave in and give others what they want to keep from pissing them off. The unspoken message is, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

However, this can become a problem. If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak, and they’ll walk all over you. Therefore, you must set boundaries.

Realize that the time will come when you must say no. There are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across, that no means no, and enough is enough.

Understand that this requires guts. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks.

You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry. You must risk being lashed out at and retaliated against. Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships, and none of it feels good.

Never run from conflict. Because if you do, you’ll end up running from it for the rest of your life!

5. Bullying and Trauma:

You have stunted social development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence has always and will always supersede book smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone. High school dropouts have become millionaires, while many college graduates have ended up working at McDonald’s.

This occurs primarily due to the level of social intelligence.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest-paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

For many years, people thought that it was a skill that no one could teach. The prevailing school of thought was that one was either born with it or not.

And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept and deal with. Thankfully, we now know differently.

This is why it’s so crucial that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. You achieve this by keeping your heart open, meeting new people, and forming new friendships.

 In other words, create positive interactions and experiences that are separate from the bullying environment.  Social opportunities multiply exponentially once you’re away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the bullying environment.

This is how you maintain your self-esteem and continue to develop your social intelligence.

6. Bullying and Trauma:

You’re painfully shy.

Many targets of bullying, after people bully them so severely for so long, become painfully shy.

When others scrutinize everything you say down to the tiniest detail, it’s easy for you to withdraw. As a result, you shut out the rest of humanity and hide in plain sight.

Moreover, you do this because you think it’s the safest thing to do. However, it’s a terrible way to live. Shyness is like a prison without walls.

Why? Because it stops you from being your true, authentic self, and you end up missing out on so much. Shyness keeps you from having fun and enjoying life.

Therefore, be brave and continue to put yourself out there. Again, establish good connections outside the place where people bully you. I guarantee that this is a great start.

7. You have Social Anxiety.

After being bullied for so long, victims can develop social anxiety. In other words, they withdraw from people because they fear future attacks.

This happens when your spirit has been beaten down and broken. You’ve been abused to the point of losing faith in humanity. Also, nefarious people have programmed you to believe that you aren’t worthy of love and friendship.

Therefore, you’re under the presumption that it’s much safer not to engage in any social interaction.

Bullying and trauma:

Covert Signs of social anxiety

Social anxiety can also be more covert, showing itself in less obvious ways:

  • Excessive laughing and giggling
  • Over-apologizing
  • Appearing normal on the outside but nervous and shaky on the inside
  • Excessive humor and being overly funny or having no sense of humor at all
  • Excessive sarcasm/having a smart-alecky attitude
  • Being overly friendly/too nice
  • Shutting down/freezing up- unable to talk or move
  • Meanness/rudeness
  • Fidgeting/can’t sit still
  • Lack of or too much eye contact
  • Poor posture/looking down all the time
  • Having a hard time keeping up with a conversation
  • Talking too loudly, too fast, too soft, too slow, or not at all
  • Indifference
  • Excessive use of foul language
  • Promiscuity/raciness
  • Wearing attire that is provocative or super-revealing
  • A style that is “perceived” as separatist or out of the ordinary (goth, punk-rock, etc.)

Fortunately, survivors of bullying can overcome the trauma by learning to love themselves again and studying tips on how to raise their confidence levels. Although bullying can be traumatic, you can learn many life lessons from it that can help you grow.

This post was all about bullying and trauma so that you can take steps to lessen the aftereffects.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently 

2. Life Lessons from Bullying: 16 Powerful Takeaways to Remember 

Excuses Schools Make for Bullies: Here are 7 Most Common

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‘Want to know all the excuses schools make for bullies? If you’re the parent of a bullied child, here are all the excuses you need to prepare yourself for.

excuses schools make for bullies

Many schools shirk responsibility when bullying occurs. And sadly, they usually protect the bullies. They either blame the victim or hide incidents of bullying altogether.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about the excuses schools make for bullies so that you will know what to expect and be prepared for them.

Once you learn all about these popular responses, you will know what to expect when you report your bullies for bullying you.

This post is all about the excuses schools make for bullies, so that you will know what to expect and be ready for it.

Excuses schools make for bullies

There are news articles everywhere with stories of schools that failed to notify parents when their child was seriously injured by bullies. Moreover, there are even stories of schools that neglected to call 911 when a kid desperately needed medical attention.

Every day, schools pretend not to notice when they see bullies making some innocent student’s life hell. Instead, they turn a deaf ear and blame the victim when they report the bullying.

In extreme cases, schools have retaliated against the victim’s family because they wouldn’t keep their mouth shut. And, they usually retaliated by making false claims to CPS and having the child unfairly removed from their home. Therefore, they only break up entire families!

The reasons school officials resort to this kind of evil are to save the school’s reputation. Therefore, they do everything possible to make the victim’s family look bad and hide the bullying that is rampant in their schools.

It is because of this that parents lose trust in the public school system. And I don’t blame them. In recent years, homeschooling has skyrocketed. Should it be any wonder?

You must realize that school officials are elected officials, politicians! And when bullying happens and schools fail to act, you can best believe that politics is behind it. Teachers and principals would rather make excuses for bullies than protect the bullied child.

Here are the most common excuses schools make for bullies.

1. “Kids will be Kids.”

“Yep. And some of them can be real hellions, like this one right here,” you say as you point to your bully.

Many teachers, principals, and even the bullies’ parents will use this excuse to sweep incidents of bullying under the rug. They also use this line to trivialize any bullying the targeted student suffers.

The “kids will be kids” response is a cop out. And it’s designed to protect only the bullies, not the child who needs the protection.

Know that school officials have a legal responsibility to keep kids out of harm’s way while they’re at school, all kids. Not just a select few. But most neglect that responsibility.

Therefore, see this as one of many excuses. In most cases, it doesn’t pay to wait for the school to help you. Sometimes, you must take responsibility for your own safety and stand up to your bullies.

2. “It’s just a personality conflict”

“You got that right. Her personality sucks and mine doesn’t. There’s the conflict.”

When your teacher or principal tells you that the altercation between you and your bully is a personality conflict, see this excuse for what it is. They’re only trying to downplay the bullying you suffer.

Realize that bullying has become an ugly word nowadays. The very term, bullying, raises a lot of heckles. Moreover, it stirs up a lot of bad emotions. It’s no wonder that school officials cringe just hearing it.

Therefore, school staff won’t even mention the word “bullying.”  They won’t say that what you endure is bullying. Why? Because they would have to admit that bullying goes on in their school, and they can’t do that!

Therefore, they call it a personality conflict because that doesn’t sound as bad.

But, continue to call it what it is. They may not like it. But your priority is not to spare their feelings. It’s to keep yourself from harm.

3. Excuses Schools make for Bullies:

“That’s just the way she is.”

“Really? Then she needs to stay the hell away from me.”

That may very well be how your bully is. However, you don’t have to put up with their bullshit. Therefore, don’t accept any excuses from the school or the bully.

You must see the subtext of this excuse. And the subtext of it is, “This kind of behavior is typical of her. So, you should overlook her.”

But don’t overlook it. Stand up to your bully and put her in her place! Let her know in no uncertain terms that you won’t take her crap.

Also, let your school staff know that they’re the adults and they’re supposed to protect bullied students. Then, tell them that they’re not doing their jobs.

And, when you say it, say it point-blank!

4. “They’ve had a hard life.”

“Most people have, but not all of them use it as an excuse to treat others like crap.”

Just because your bully has had it rough doesn’t give them an excuse to abuse you. It’s okay to have empathy for those who are having a tough time.

However, when they use it as a crutch, that’s when the empathy stops! Their feelings are valid, yes. But their evil actions aren’t.

You can feel sorry for them if you want. However, that doesn’t mean you have to let them use you as a dumping ground for all their issues.

Again, don’t take any shit off of them. Stand up and defend yourself against bullying, no matter what!

5. Excuses schools make for Bullies:

“he’s a nice person once you get to know Him.”

This is just a polite way of saying, “He’s a real asshole but, after a while, you’ll get used to it.”

If nothing else, understand this right now! Bullying and abuse are not things you should ever get used to! Ever!

You do not have to put up with that garbage!

Anytime someone makes that kind of excuse for a bully, what they’re telling you is that they’ve been putting up with their crap. So, you should put up with it too.

Can I get a “hell no?”

You must realize that just because other people think they need to cower to some creep doesn’t mean you have to. If they want to let the bully dump all over them, it’s their life. Let them have at it!

But you don’t have to! Stand up to the bully and let them know that you aren’t the one!

6. “She’s just blowing off some steam.”

“Really? Then, maybe she should go somewhere else to blow it off!”

And that’s exactly what you should say. You are not a toxic waste dump! Therefore, don’t let some creep dump their toxic waste in your creek.

You are not responsible for their problems. And they shouldn’t be taking all their frustrations out on you! So, don’t let them do that.

7. Excuses schools make for bullies:

“He’s just having a bad day.”

“Everyone has those days now and then, but most of them don’t take it out on someone else.”

If your bully is having a bad day, that’s not your fault. And it’s not your problem. So, don’t let them try to make it your problem.

Buck up. Stand up. And let the bully know that you’re the wrong person to mess with. You must realize that bullies act this way because others have allowed them to get away with it for a long time.

Instead, they tiptoe around them to keep from setting them off. And because people have kissed the bully’s ass for so long, the bully has grown comfortable with being an asshole.

If nothing else, know this. You don’t have to put up with that! Other people may walk on eggshells around this person. But it doesn’t mean you have to.

So, tell the bully to buzz off. Also, tell them not to come around you until they calm their ass down.

In Conclusion

Schools and workplaces are full of bullies and other messed-up people. The world is full of them. And it’s a shame that most adults, at home and school, don’t teach kids to stand up for themselves like they used to.

If we don’t teach young people to take care of themselves now, they’ll only grow up to be spineless adults who submit to those who abuse power. And sadly, they won’t think to question it.

Schools can make all the policies they want. But until they enforce them, innocent students will continue to suffer bullying. And school officials will continue to make excuses for bullies and blame victims.

Therefore, know what to expect and be prepared. And stand up for yourself no matter how they may gaslight you. If that doesn’t work, it might be time for a school transfer.

This post was all about excuses schools make for bullies so that you’ll know what they are and be prepared to counter those excuses.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids! 

2. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms 

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

Humiliation Bullying: 5 Examples of It and Why It’s So Devastating

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‘Want to know about humiliation bullying? Here’s why bullies try to humiliate you and why humiliation is so dangerous.

humiliation bullying

This type of bullying can be one of the worst types. Humiliation is the type of bullying that can leave scars that never go away.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about humiliation bullying, why bullies prefer it, and what it can do to you if it happens to you.

Once you learn about this type of bullying, you will be able to better avoid it and protect yourself against it.

This post is all about humiliation bullying so that you will know more about it and be able to protect yourself from it.

Humiliation bullying

Humiliation, unlike embarrassment or shame, leaves a mark on you when you suffer it. Moreover, the stigma that surrounds you can follow you for the rest of your life.

Why? Because people who’ve been publicly humiliated are always remembered for their humiliation.

Think, Harvey Weinstein and the sex scandals that broke a few years ago.
Harvey deserved the humiliation he suffered. We’re all sure of that. Anyone who uses dreams and ambitions to sexually exploit women need to be tarred, feathered, and paraded naked through the streets, in my opinion.

However, if you’re an innocent victim of bullying, you probably did nothing to deserve this kind of bullying. You probably never even saw it coming.

Bullies often humiliate innocent victims, putting them in uncomfortable and degrading positions.  All the while, others excitedly gather around to taunt and abuse them.

Through History

Humiliation has been used down through the ages. Tarring and feathering was a technique used in the Old West. It involved covering people with hot tar and feathers and parading them through the crowded streets on a horse-drawn cart.

Think of Chuck Connors’ character, Jason McCord, in the old western series, “Branded.”

To humiliate someone is to assert power over them by denying and destroying their dignity. Throughout history, humiliation has been the most common and effective means of punishment. Moreover, it has also been one of the most severe forms of abuse.

Humiliation bullying:

humiliation is worse THAN death.

It’s not the threat of imprisonment or even death that deters crime; it is the dread of humiliation.
People fear losing face worse than they do a violent death!

People use humiliation to maintain the social hierarchy. The threat of extreme embarrassment emphasizes that the group, as a whole, supersedes the individual.

Humiliation defuses any threat to a particular order. It protects the positions of those higher up on the social totem pole.

Think of today’s cancel culture.
In student hierarchies in schools, bullies at the top of the pecking order go to great lengths to protect their social status. Therefore, they will humiliate those who threaten their social standing.

At the same time, the other kids are forced to submit to different kinds of debasement. And it’s the same in the workplace.

Politicians also try to mortify their opponents.

Bullies use it as a weapon.

Anytime you defend yourself against bullying, your bullies will often use humiliation to retaliate and subdue you. For example, they may play cruel jokes and pranks on you.

They may even set you up to get in trouble with the staff. Moreover, they might subject you to a horrific beating in front of an audience.

Bullies at the top will also spread vicious rumors and lies about you

Humiliation Bullying Examples

1. Taking nude pictures of you without your knowledge.

For instance, your bullies may invade your privacy. They may catch you in the shower after gym class. And, without you knowing it, they may sneakily take nude videos of you, then post them online.

The next day, when you return to school, everyone in the hallway will be pointing and staring at you. Some may be looking at their phones and blushing with embarrassment. Others will be laughing at you.

You are at a loss as to why they’re doing this until your friend shows you the video. In shock and disbelief, you gasp. Then, you run out of the school in tears.

This is horrifying because, from now on. Others will associate this girl with what happened. In other words, they will always know her as the naked shower girl.

2. Undermining you at Work, in front of colleagues.

A coworker begins putting you down in front of others during the company meeting. They may loudly point out your mistakes on a project. Therefore, they cause everyone else in the meeting to doubt your competence on the job.

3. Recording you in the privacy of your bedroom.

For instance, you are a bullied girl and you’re undressing in the privacy of your bedroom. It’s dark outside. Although you have your curtains pulled, there’s still a crack that people can see through.

Your bullies hide just outside your bedroom window at night and take videos of you with their smartphones. They then send the video to other classmates.

And from there, it only spreads wider. Before you know it, people are referring to you as the girl who undresses in front of the window.

4. Humiliation Bullying:

A Girl lets her boyfriend talk her into sending him a nude selfie.

A boy asks his girlfriend to send him a picture of her… naked! She declines. However, the boy doesn’t give up. He continues to sweet-talk her for the next two weeks.

Each time the girl tells him that she isn’t comfortable taking nude pics of herself, the boy asks her why. So, she tells him that she’s afraid that the pictures might get out.

Then he tells her how much he loves her and that he would never let the photos of her get out. Also, he tells her that he just wants to be able to look at her naked anytime he feels down.

Finally, after he cajoles her for a few weeks, she gives in to his pleas. Against her better judgment, she takes a nude photo of herself while lying on her bed. Then she attaches the picture to a text message and hits the send button.

The boy keeps his promise. He keeps the nude selfie only on his phone. That is, until they break up six months later.

The breakup is nasty, and they part on bad terms. Therefore, he breaks his promise. He shares it on social media, and the photo goes viral!

First, her classmates see it. Then, the entire town. Finally, people of all ages know who this girl is. And they cruelly cyberbully her over the viral nude pic.

Sadly, this girl will never live it down. From here on, people will know her as the nudie pic girl!

If you don’t think this can happen to you, just Google Amanda Todd.

5. A bullied boy is spied on while using the restroom.

A targeted boy is standing in front of a urinal, using the bathroom. His bullies hide in the stall next to him, peering through the crack.

One of them pulls out a smartphone and begins taking videos of the boy’s manly areas. The bullies then share the video among themselves. they laugh and joke about how small and crooked the boy’s package is.

Maybe the bullied boy has a mole on his butt and they record and poke fun of that. Nevertheless, recording the boy and sharing the contents among their group isn’t enough.

So, they post it online. Before long, everyone in the entire town sees it and the boy becomes a laughing-stock.

Even worse, this will be something that others will always remember him by. This poor kid will always be known as the boy with the small package.

Why is humiliation bullying so devastating?

1. It usually involves THE invasion of privacy.

If bullies want to humiliate you, it almost always involves invading your privacy. This can be especially devastating because it causes anxiety.

2. The bully usually catches you during your most private and intimate moments.

In other words, you’re usually using the bathroom, bathing, dressing, or having sex when the bully catches you and records you. During these moments, we need our privacy to preserve our dignity.

And when someone violates that, it can erode your trust in others. And, from then on, you’ll constantly look over your shoulder to see who else may be watching you.

Humiliation is horrible for anyone. The reason that it’s so devastating is that it involves negative things that others will always associate you with. And there’s no getting away from it!

Embarrassment is only temporary. You trip and fall over a speed bump in the parking lot, and people may laugh about it. But they soon forget about it and move on with their lives.

However, humiliation can follow you for the rest of your life!

So, if you are a victim of bullying, protect yourself. Also, I cannot advise this enough! No matter how much your dating partner claims that they love you! Never let anyone talk you into sending a nude pic! Ever!

Because, sooner or later, they will post it online.

And if anyone ever films you in an indecent position without you knowing it, know that what they did is against the law! Speak out about it and file criminal charges! You can also file a civil suit for damages!

This post was all about humiliation bullying so that you know what it can do to you and find ways to protect yourself against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

2. Effects of Cyberbullying: 15 Negative Impacts on Victims

3. Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls

bullying or mobbing difference

Bullying or Mobbing?

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‘Want to know if it’s bullying or mobbing? Here are all the signs you need to know.

bullying or mobbing

Bullying becomes Chronic when the bullying has gone on over time and has escalated such that it has now reached a dangerous level. In short, bullying has reached epic proportions.

This is when bullying can become mobbing.

In this post, you will learn how to tell whether you suffer bullying or mobbing so that you can recognize the difference.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to see the difference and take the appropriate steps to ensure your safety.

This post is all about how to tell if what you’re enduring is bullying or mobbing. This is so you can decide whether you should keep fighting or cut your losses and leave the environment to be safe again.

Bullying or Mobbing

When there’s chronic bullying, bullies have grown so comfortable with bullying you that they skyrocket the torment. Also, they will pursue you obsessively and non-stop.

Where there’s chronic bullying, there’s no accountability. And where there’s no accountability, there’s simply no incentive to stop.

What is chronic bullying?

Chronic bullying is bullying that has gone on for a long period of time. This type of bullying has usually been happening for several years.

Chronic bullying happens once the bullies’ behavior has gone ignored and unaddressed. In other words, no one has spoken up about it. Moreover, no one has ever held your bullies accountable for the way they’ve treated you.

Therefore, the bullies have gotten away with it. And, because they’ve gotten away with it, they’ve grown more bold in their attacks.

In other words, your bullies have become brazen. In fact, they’ve become so cocky, and encouraged that their actions have grown in strength, frequency, and cruelty over several years.

This is because others have have probably supported your bullies’ behavior. Therefore, they only encourage them to bully you more.

Bullying or Mobbing:

Chronic Bullying Becomes Mobbing.

After bullies have bullied you for many years, their apathy toward you has grown until they have lost all empathy. In that, they’ve come to feel nothing but blind hatred and fury toward you.

They now have the attitude that anything they do to you, no matter how cruel, is okay. Why? Because, to them, you have no value, and your life is worth nothing.

Understand that when bullying becomes mobbing, they don’t look at you as a human being. They only see you as so worthless and inferior that, you don’t deserve oxygen, much less any respect.

This is why this type of bullying is dangerous. Because, if you’re a victim of it, you have a high probability of either dying by suicide or murder. Yes, bullies do murder their victims.

When it’s bullying, you may have one person or a small group bullying you. When it’s mobbing, almost everyone bullies you.

Bullies who bully to these extremes usually have droves of followers and minions backing them up. As time comes on,  they enlist more members of their following to do their dirty work.

The bullying gets this out of control, it becomes so ingrained and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own.

The bullies are seemingly drunk on their own power and hatred that the bullying and torment of you seem to be all the bullies can focus on. Everyone else bullies you too.

They’re like a swarm of  angry bees that won’t stop chasing you and stinging you.

Bullying or Mobbing:

The Swarm Effect.

When bullies target you, others may also target you too. For instance, if one person bullies you, then soon, you’ll have two bullying you. Then, four, then six! And the number of bullies continues to increase.

And, before you know it, everyone is targeting you.

The reason others jump in on the fun of bullying you is because they want to feel like they’re a part of a group.

Again, when everyone begins bullying you, that’s when you know that the bullying has progressed to mobbing.

Other signs of mobbing.

Other signs of mobbing include high emotions like, intense anger and blind hatred. In other words, the mob can no longer control themselves.

Instead of the mob controlling their evil emotions and actions, their feelings and actions control them! The bullies are controlled by hatred and blinded by senseless rage.

They have become so addicted to power and control that the bullying becomes constant. It has to for the bullies to get their fix and maintain the high that power gives them.

Understand that, by the time bullying becomes mobbing, others no longer see you as a human being. Instead, they see you as so worthless and inferior that you don’t deserve the time of day, much less any respect.

As far as they’re concerned, you don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as them! In fact, you don’t deserve to breathe, period!

This is why chronic bullying can be especially dangerous to the target because the victim runs the chance of either breaking and dying of suicide or being murdered by their bullies.

Bullying or Mobbing:

Why mobbing can be the most dangerous.

When bullying progresses to mobbing, things can get dangerous very quickly. Also, mobbing is difficult to control.

This is because, in a case of mobbing, the mob’s emotions are so out of control that any logic goes out the window. Moreover, it blocks their ability to reason.

Their logical brain shuts down and their primal brain takes over. They’re like a pack of wild dogs who surround their prey.

Therefore, the mob’s first instinct is to tear you apart!

The power of vicious people in large groups.

Strength always comes in numbers. Moreover, when you have a large number of people who are out to get you, you don’t have a chance.

One person can’t stand up against a mob of five or more people. And most schools have anywhere from a hundred to five thousand students. Companies can have 10 employees or they can employ over ten thousand workers.

Again, if you’re mobbed in a school of five hundred students or a company with a thousand workers, you don’t have a prayer!

Why? Because a large mob has a collective power that’s impossible to stand against.

Bullying or Mobbing:

So, what can you do?

This is why it’s so important to get out anytime bullying becomes mobbing. Get out of that environment. You can transfer to another school or go to work for another company. Also, you can move to another area.

Again, once bullying becomes mobbing, it becomes so out of control that it takes on a life of it’s own. There’s no stopping it at this stage.

Therefore, the only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Just disappear. Go somewhere quiet.

Never stay in an environment that hates you. People in a mob aren’t worth fighting. Moreover, it isn’t worth the cost to your mental health! The only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Only then will you be safe and have peace of mind.

This post was all how to tell if what you endure is bullying or mobbing so that you can take the appropriate measures to protect your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

2. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

3. When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger 

bullying and dehumanization psychology

Bullying and Dehumanization: 10 Ways Bullies Dehumanize You

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‘Want to know about bullying and dehumanization? ‘Want to know how dehumanization progresses and all the ways bullies try to dehumanize you? Here are all the details!

bullying and dehumanization

Dehumanization is dangerous because, when bullies dehumanize you, they label you as sub-human and not worthy of the same rights and considerations as others.

And, once people began looking at you as sub-human, it removes any conscience they might have had before. Therefore, it only makes it much easier for them to abuse you. In fact, even though you’re another human being like they are, they may think that mistreating you is necessary and justified.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and dehumanization. Also, you’ll learn the ways bullies dehumanize you.

Once you learn this crucial, even life-saving information, you will be able to take steps to protect yourself from it. You will also be able to act when you witness it happening to someone else.

This post is all about bullying and dehumanization so that you will recognize it when it happens to you or someone else.

Bullying and Dehumanization

Bullying and dehumanization go hand in hand. Your bullies make you sub-human so that it can be easier for them to abuse you without feeling guilty about it.

What is Dehumanization?

Dehumanization is when everyone else sees those who are not like them as less than human. When people see you as subhuman, they feel that you’re undeserving of the same rights and consideration as everyone else.

For instance, Nazis in 1930’s Germany saw the Jews as less than human. Therefore, it was easier for them to brutalize and kill them.

Dehumanizing you is what bullies will try to do to you if they’ve selected you as their victim. Realize that bullies are abusers and bullying is abuse. And it can only happen if the abuser views their victim as inferior to the rest of the human race.

Dehumanization always starts out subtle.

Bullies and their supporters will analyze you, picking out your differences. Then, they will use those differences to place you in the “other” category.

They then single you out. They may start by leaving you out of social functions and gatherings. Also, they may hurl subtle insults at you that others barely notice. Then slowly take the insults up notch by tiny notch.

Bullying and Dehumanization:

Here are 10 ways they dehumanize you.

1. They spread rumors and lies about you.

And they will repeat those lies over and over. As the old saying goes, “A lie told once remains a lie. But a lie repeated a thousand times becomes the truth.”

Bullies do this to convince others outside the bully-victim relationship to look at you the way they do. In other words, they want everyone else to view you as defective and morally bankrupt.

Although spreading rumors and lies about you hasn’t reached the level of dehumanization yet. It’s the starting point on the path to it.

2. They demonize you.

How bullies demonize you is through smear campaigns. As this happens, they stir everyone else’s emotions into a frenzy to induce anger and hostility toward you.

Bullies see you as a threat to their power. Therefore, they demonize you to drive you to the bottom of the social hierarchy.

And the smears grow more vicious until they’ve succeeded in turning everyone against you.

3. They place you in an undesirable category of people.

Your bullies may place you in a category of people to make you less of an individual. It’s a psychological fact that de-individualized people seem less than human.

Therefore, you become less protected by social norms against abuse than those viewed as individuals.

For example, your bullies may take away your individuality by placing you in the mentally unstable category. They know that the majority of people view the mentally imbalanced as the least human compared to other categories of people.

In fact, those who suffer from mental illnesses are seen as less human than even hardened criminals. It’s the sad truth.

Once they do this, it becomes easier to justify their brutal atrocities against them.

4. Bullying and Dehumanization:

Everyone grows to hate you.

Moreover, when the bullies demonize you, bystanders and others may turn against you.  As time goes on, they may develop the same feelings of hatred toward you.

And it only progresses until your bullies have alienated you from everyone. Then, it becomes easier for them to frame you as the evil monster that must be destroyed.

5. They classify you as “the enemy.”

Bullies convince themselves and everyone else that you’re the enemy.   They do this by assigning negative characteristics to you. Moreover, they convince everyone else that you’re void of any morals and decency.

You may be innocent. In other words, you may not have done anything to provoke anyone. However, that doesn’t matter. Bullies and everyone else see you as their enemy

. Therefore, they will categorize you as sub-human to justify abusing you. They will make the abuse seem reasonable and necessary.

This is how dehumanization works.

Once your bullies succeed in portraying you as morally and ethically inferior, evil, and sub-human, they then classify you as the enemy. And once they deem you as an enemy, it becomes much easier for them to brutalize you.

Everyone else will also think that bullying you is acceptable. Again, they may look at it as necessary. 

6. Bullying and Dehumanization:

They Strip you of your most basic human rights.

And because your bullies paint you as a diabolical enemy, they believe that the abuse they inflict on you is an obligation. They’re not bullying you. They’re only reacting to an evil enemy. And once they’ve framed you as the enemy, their perspectives of you only become more rigid.

Naturally, most people believe that everyone has the same basic human rights. And those rights should be protected.

Most believe that everyone deserves to be treated fairly and justly – that every human being deserves dignity and respect.

In this country, the majority of people believe that everyone deserves the ability to meet their own needs. Also, they know that everyone has the right to make their own choices.

Even criminals have the right to a fair trial. Also, they have the right to be safe from inhumane punishment for their crimes.

However, in your bullies’ eyes, you’re on the outside of humanity. So, you don’t qualify to receive fair treatment. Moreover, they feel they should block you from any resources to meet your basic needs.

For example, bullies may call around to employers and tell them not to hire you. Why?

Because, again, they do not believe that you are worthy of humane treatment. This is especially dangerous because it puts you at risk of human rights violations, such as physical beatings and even murder.

7. Bullying and Dehumanization:

They feel less guilty for abusing you.

Once others begin viewing you as subhuman, it becomes much easier for them to treat you in ways they would never treat another fellow human being.

Any social restraints that once kept them from abusing you will disappear. Therefore, it will only increase the likelihood that the bullying will get out of control.

It’s hard to believe that even kind people can turn evil. But, in cases like this. It happens.

This is what dehumanization does. It removes any limitations of abusing you. Therefore, it strips you of your rights to personal safety.

Moreover, people begin doing things to you that they never would have done before. This is how good people turn evil.

8. They Accuse you for the same things they’re guilty of.

Once your bullies have succeeded in alienating you from the rest of the school, workplace, or community, they then compare their moral virtues with yours.

In other words, they view everyone else as innocent while viewing you as sickeningly evil. In that, they only deny, downplay, and ignore their evil actions while viewing anything you do as evil or having ulterior motives.

For example, when people mistreat you, others may believe that it’s justified and necessary. However, if you dare to defend yourself against their abuse, they only see it as evidence that you’re a bad person.

Even though you’re the one they’re abusing, they don’t see it that way.

Your bullies and their flying monkeys project their faults and bad behavior onto you. For instance, if your bullies are highly aggressive, they will accuse you of being highly aggressive but not them.

However, see this for what it is. Bullies do this to protect their self-image. Also, they do it to tighten the bonds in their group.

As a result, it only increases their animosity toward you, and the fight intensifies. Therefore, it makes it even easier for them to dehumanize you.

9. Bullying and Dehumanization:

They seek to eliminate you.

Their thinking only becomes zero-sum. Your bullies and their supporters must either destroy you or be destroyed.

Therefore, they up the ante and decide that the best thing for them to do is to annihilate you.

In other words, they want you gone! Down through history, dehumanization has caused many murders and genocides.

It’s because the ultimate goal of dehumanization is the elimination of its target. Dehumanization has paved the way for the taking of many innocent lives.

Realize that they see you as expendable.

10. Once they’ve eliminated you, they’ll deny that they ever bullied you.

After you’re gone, your bullies and everyone else will deny they ever bullied you. Also, they will search for another victim because that’s just what they do.

What can you do to protect yourself?

You probably won’t realize it until it’s already gone too far. Therefore, the best thing to do is to leave the environment and never look back.

You must go where you are safe. And the farther away you move, the better. However, tell no one where you’re going or that you’re moving at all. In the age of social media, it’s just best not to reveal where you plan to move.

Just pack your things and disappear. Your bullies will probably wonder where you went. They may hunt for you for a while. But your enemies won’t find you. They won’t know where to look.

Realize that this doesn’t mean you’re a coward. You are not running from them. You are going somewhere where you can live in peace. Therefore, what you are doing is smart, not cowardly.

Do what you must do to ensure your safety. You’ll be so glad that you did!

This post is all about bullying and dehumanization so that you can recognize the patterns and get out before they have a chance of doing real damage to your psyche.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power 

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying 

your gut feeling never lies

Your Gut Feeling: Reasons It Can Save You from Bullying

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‘Want to know why you should always listen to your gut feeling? Here are all the reasons to never ignore your instincts.

your gut feeling

Your gut feeling is that innate alarm system that warns you when danger is nearby. Your mind may play tricks on you and your heart may mislead you. However, your gut never lies.

At different times in your life, you will meet people your inner alarm tries to warn you about. You won’t be able to easily explain the feeling they give you. The only way you’ll describe it is that something seems to be “off” about them. Moreover, you’ll get a sinking, creepy feeling in the pit of your stomach. And, you will feel the bad vibes pour forth from these people.

This is your gut feeling warning you. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you shouldn’t ignore your gut feeling but pay close attention to it.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be compelled to listen to your gut and take steps to avoid dangerous individuals.

This post is all about your gut feeling so that you will pay more attention to it and protect yourself from potential human predators.

Your Gut Feeling

You will often mistake this feeling for paranoia and ignore it. This is something that a whopping majority of bully victims do.

However, if you learn to listen to your gut and avoid people who give you that creepy vibe, you will save yourself a truckload of trouble.

God gave us all that sixth sense. Most people call it your gut feeling or your instincts.

Never ignore this instinct!

Anytime you get a bad feeling in your gut about someone, you’re not being overly suspicious. No. What you are doing is picking up on negative energy.

Moreover, your inner alarm, your gut feeling is trying to warn you about a person or situation and keep you safe. Your inner alarm will warn you many times about someone’s personality. It will also warn you when someone is about to harm you.

If you’re a victim of bullying, you may not listen to this instinct because bullying and abuse fills you with self-doubt. Bullies may gaslight you and convince you to overlook your own intuitive abilities.

Therefore, you will mistake your inner warning system for paranoia. Or, you may go to the other extreme and not trust anyone, even those who love you and have your best interests at heart.

As a result, you will repel those who would otherwise be your true friends. And you will miss out on many opportunities for love and friendship.

No, you can’t trust everyone. However, putting up psychological barriers and shutting everyone out isn’t the answer either. This is another reason you should listen to your gut. It not only enables you to sense danger, it also helps you to spot those who are good and to trust the right people.

Your Gut Feeling:

Being bullied can destroy your ability to sense danger.

How? You may ask. Here’s how.

When you suffer bullying, your bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

In that, they teach you that none of those things are valid. Or, they convince you that they’re wrong. Therefore, bullying diminishes your ability to trust and believe in yourself.

So, you won’t trust your gut either. When you endure bullying, it blinds you to danger because it dulls your senses of who’s for real and who’s fake. As a result, you won’t be able to avoid dangerous people.

If nothing else, know this! If bullies ridicule your instincts, know that you weren’t born yesterday. You’re not imagining things nor are you being overly-sensitive. And you are not mentally imbalanced or whatever else unsavory characters may call you.

When trouble is nearby, you feel it.

You know when something does not feel good. Not only will you feel it in your gut, but you’ll see it when certain people cut their eyes at you. Moreover, you’ll hear and see them talk through their teeth.

You’ll hear the short and cold tone in their voices. And you’ll sense the nasty vibes they exude. Put all these things together and you have a deadly mishmash of toxic goo! Therefore, eighty-six those people! Fast!

Again, never ignore this instinct. It’ll likely save you from so much trouble. It could even save your life!

Realize that you have more power than you think. Therefore, it’s up to you to listen to what your gut is trying to tell you and act on it. No one else can do it for you. You owe it to yourself to avoid anyone who gives you bad vibes.

Here’s the reason you should always heed your inner warning system.

Your Gut Feeling:

It helps you to pick up on dangerous people.

When you’re able to pick up on the vibes of the people around you, you have a gift. This can be a godsend if you suffer bullying.

Just imagine that you’re able to feel other’s energy and sense their moods and emotional states! It’s great because it warns you ahead of time that negative people are nearby.

Therefore, it gives you the cue that you need to steer clear of them. Therefore, it gives you the chance to avoid harm before it happens.

those sensations may not feel so good.

However, physically, they may not feel so good. In life, you’ll pick up some really yucky vibes from the people around you.

You’ll notice that something just doesn’t sit well when you meet them. These feelings and sensations are always physical. Moreover, you usually feel them in your body, particularly, your stomach.

Your body is like a radio tower that picks up frequencies. In other words, that tower is your body and the frequencies are the energy and vibrations that others put out.

When you pick up negative energy, you’ll get that sick feeling in your stomach. You may feel a lump in your throat. Sometimes, you even get that cold, creepy shiver up your spine.

Also, you may feel the hairs standing up on the back of your neck.

However, though it may not feel good, it is a good thing because it enables you to sense danger so that you know that it’s time to either run or fight.

Your Gut Feeling:

What’s best for you doesn’t always taste good.

Paying attention to these not-so-good feelings is like taking a spoonful of medicine when you’re sick. No, it doesn’t taste good. In fact, many kinds of medicine taste downright nasty.

However, if you’ll just hold your nose, put the spoon in your mouth, and swallow the concoction, you’ll feel so much better later.

In other words, pay attention to those bad vibes instead of ignoring them. And you’ll be able to excuse yourself from the encounter and avoid a potential attack. You’ll also be able to better avoid the suspicious person in the future.

Then, once you’re away from them, you’ll feel so much better. And, you’ll feel safer. Also, you’ll feel so proud of yourself knowing that you likely dodged a bullet.

When you begin listening to your instincts, you’ll notice Patterns and Details that most people don’t.

When you listen to your gut, you’ll also notice tiny patterns and details too. You’ll be surprised at just how much you pick up on that most others don’t. And, not just from other people, but your surroundings.

For example, as a child, I noticed things that other people never paid attention to. At school, I was often accused of not paying attention in class because I was distracted by other things. These were things like the black mold in the upper corners of the classroom walls.

The school building was old. It had been built during the 1940s. I would also notice the spider’s web in one of the light fixtures, or a red wasp that flew through one of the partially opened windows.

Maybe I would notice the loud roar of a plane flying overhead, or the squeak of a mouse trapped in the classroom waste can. Or maybe I had the displeasure of seeing the butt-crack of the fat boy sitting in front of me, who had a terrible habit of not pulling his pants up.

Whatever it was, and no matter how tiny the detail, I noticed it. Moreover, I’m pretty sure that others were threatened by that.

However, maybe there were reasons they were so threatened. Maybe, they saw the likelihood that I might see through all the bullshit they were trying to shovel. Or I’d notice the “fine print” in the stories and narratives they tried to sell me.

When you begin listening to your gut feeling, you’ll ask many questions.

In fact, you will go deep and tried to dissect everything you see or hear. And others will hate that about you. However, as annoying as it may be, what they’ll really hate is the likelihood that you’ll expose some true motives and hidden intentions.

Why? Because it’s only when you dissect something and go deep, you find the real malignancies underneath. The devil really is in the details.

In closing

Trusting your gut is one of the most important things you can do. Not only will you avoid bullies, fake friends, and other shady people, but you will also pick up on patterns and details such much quicker.

You see? Your instincts are like your muscles. If you don’t use them, you lose them. However, if you start trusting and paying attention to your gut feeling, it only gets stronger and more accurate.

So, exercise your instincts and you’ll only get better and better at spotting evil and avoiding it.

This post was all about your gut feeling and why you should pay attention to it so that you can more easily spot and avoid bullies and other nefarious people.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. People with Negative Energy: How to Protect Yourself from Them 

2. Fake Friend: 11 Easy Ways to Spot One with Bad Intentions 

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence 

Life Lessons from Bullying: 16 Powerful Takeaways to Remember

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 ‘Want to know all the life lessons from bullying? Here are all the morals of your bullying story that you need to know about.

life lessons from bullying

To endure bullying is the fight of your life. Though it’s painful, even excruciating, there are lessons you learn from it.

In this post, you will learn all the life lessons from bullying that you can take.

Once you learn all about these important lessons, you will feel much better about yourself. Moreover, you will look back one day and be glad you kept going when you wanted to give up.

This post is all about the life lessons from bullying to give you the strength to push forward instead of quitting.

Life Lessons from Bullying

I know it’s tough. But keep pushing on! Don’t quit! Don’t give up! I promise you that it will all be worth it in the end.

Here are all the takeaways from being a victim of bullying.

1. You learn that Sometimes you must live with what you hate before you can move on to what you love.

In other words, you must weather the storm before you can see sunlight. Why? It’s only when you’ve been through hell, you learn to appreciate heaven so much more.

Although your mind keeps telling you that there’s something wrong with you, know that there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s not your fault.

I know you want so badly to fix it, but you don’t know what’s broken.

You may think that you must be doing something to rub these people the wrong way. You aren’t. And if you listen to your heart, it will tell you differently.

Your heart will tell you that you did nothing wrong. Also, it will tell you that the bullies who bully you don’t like themselves and that they’re putting all that negative energy off on you.

This war between your mind and your heart leaves you exhausted. But, no matter how bad things get, don’t lose that small glimmer of hope in your eyes.

Although you carry an enormous amount of pain, you’re still holding on, taking it one day at a time. Keep it up.

Please love yourself. Continue to forge your path despite how others may treat you.

2. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn to Never hate those who bully you.

You can never repay hate with hate. Therefore, please don’t hate your bullies. Instead, feel sorry for them- take pity on them.

Hate only eats you up and rots out your very soul. It does nothing to your bullies. It only hurts you. There’s dignity in being hated.

Therefore, in your hate, you give your bullies dignity they don’t deserve. Feeling pity for them is so much better because there’s no dignity in pity.

3. You learn that Bullies fight demons of their own.

Their lives aren’t as perfect as they let on. Believe it or not, your bullies are hurting too. They have mental problems of their own that they never confessed to or got help for.

Only they’ll never in this lifetime tell you about it. Understand that they’re only keeping up appearances, which is such hard work.

Moreover, they’re angry at you because you don’t have to work as hard as they do.

If you’re being bullied at school, a lot of your bullies are indeed spoiled and coddled. However, many of them are abused at home. Some have parents who are into prostitution or drugs and alcohol, and who fight.

Also, many bullies are dirt poor, surviving on welfare and ashamed of it. Many of those you go to school with have home lives you couldn’t imagine! And school is their happy place.

Therefore, they’re only taking all their pain and frustrations out on you.

Looking back on my own experiences, I realize that my home life was better than most kids my age. I’m thankful for that. My home was a sanctuary compared to those of most of the other kids.

4. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that You’re stronger than you realize.

You don’t yet realize how strong, brave, and resilient you are. But you are, just for the fact that you haven’t dropped out of school like so many of your classmates. You haven’t quit the race! You haven’t given up on life!

Even though others will bombard you with a barrage of attacks once you pass through the school entrance, you manage to find the courage to get up every morning and go to school. And you do it scared!

So, who are the weak ones now?

5. You learn that Most of your bullies will only end up miserable later on.

They may have favor with most of the teachers, even the ones who have little hope for you. However, most of them will never leave this town. This is a small town- only a dot on the map.

And, in a small town, it doesn’t take long to maximize one’s potential.

You may feel so small and insignificant. However, each of your classmates feels the same way.

The only way they can feel big and powerful is to make you feel bad. And one day, you’re going to see just how they end up.

Only a few will make it. The rest will be living in loveless and abusive marriages. Many will be poor and wondering how they’ll pay the rent. Some will join gangs or begin slinging dope.

Several will immerse themselves in drugs and alcohol to cope with their failures in life. Also, a good portion of them will end up behind bars. And many will have kids who disrespect and hurt them.

6. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that Most of your bullies will never learn to love themselves.

Instead of letting love come from within, they’ll look outside of themselves for it.

Most of your classmates will be on a desperate and never-ending search for love. They’ll go through numerous divorces and broken relationships.

They’ll never learn to fall in love with themselves and with life first.

Instead, they’ll be on an endless quest for happiness. And they’ll never realize that happiness comes from within themselves.

7. You learn that Your bullies see you as a threat.

You must realize that you’re a major threat to your bullies. Do you know why? It’s because you’re smart.

You’re smart enough to see right through them, and they know it. They also hate it. Why? Because they’re afraid that you’re exposing the bullying and letting all their skeletons out of the closet.

Why do you think they shout you down and tell you to “shut up” every time you start to open your mouth? Why do you think they scream at you when you answer a teacher’s question in class?

And, why do you think they tell you to sit down every time you get out of your seat to sharpen a pencil or turn in homework?

It’s because they’re very much afraid that you’ll upstage them somehow. So, they keep you afraid to open your mouth or be noticed.

You’re also talented. And your classmates know it, and they’re jealous of it.

They hate it when you display your talents. Again, understand that they’re afraid that you just might outshine them.

You have so much potential. You just don’t know it yet. Why? Because your bullies have programmed you to think that you’re no good and will never amount to anything.

8. Life lessons from Bullying:

You learn that The Bullying you suffer is only temporary.

Life won’t always be this way. Bullies won’t always bully you. They won’t always be in your life.

Trust me. There will come a day when others will accept you. They will no longer just tolerate you but celebrate you.

You will have friends one day. Not fake ones, but real friends who’ll love you for all that you are and the beauty you bring to this world.

Also, you’ll have the courage to walk away from toxic people who are no good for you. And you won’t be afraid to stand alone until better people find you.

9. You learn to read people.

You learn to recognize threatening body language and facial expressions very quickly.

Being bullied will make you a very accurate people reader. If there’s anyone who will teach you the level of evil human beings are capable of, it’s bullies.

Once you’ve suffered the vicious onslaught of bullying for long, your people senses sharpen tremendously. This allows you to more accurately pick up on body language, facial expressions, tonality, and the hidden emotions/intentions of others around you.

Even better, you learn to read those split-second flashes or micro-expressions most others miss. Why? Because it becomes key to your survival!

This is only natural. An example would be a person who has lost their sight. We’ve heard stories of people who have suddenly gone blind. The same people reported that the other four senses automatically sharpened to compensate for the lost ability to see.

This is a natural survival mechanism of the body. It is the same when someone is bullied.

A victim of bullying is in a constant state of being threatened, both physically and psychologically. To survive, the person’s “sixth sense” and the ability to read non-verbal communication heightens to near perfection.

Again, this is only the brain’s and body’s way of protecting them. Understand that what compels a person to hone certain powers is always…ALWAYS necessity.

In other words, if our survival depends on how well we read the emotions, moods, and intentions of those around us, we will find a way to tap into that power. And we will learn it forward, backwards, upside down, and sideways!

10. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that The bullying you suffer sharpens your BS detector.

The bullying you suffer now will turn you into a radar for bullshit. Bullying is never good, but it does have its payoffs for victims later.

You won’t see the benefits until after the bullying is over and you’ve healed. However, I can tell you that a bullied past has its positive takeaways.

And one of them is a fine-tuned ability to smell bullshit from a mile away. Being a target of bullies has ways of giving you an almost psychic ability to see through people.

Moreover, you can detect true motives and intentions. Having dealt with bullies allows you to observe a large group of people, then spot and pick out the fakes and troublemakers.

And you can do it at lightning speed and with accuracy. You don’t have to say a word. All you do is stand back and watch.

Think of it this way. A person who loses his sight experiences a much keener sense of hearing. Therefore, it’s the same concept with survivors and targets of bullying.

A victim of bullying quickly grows the ability to read people like a newspaper. Why? Out of sheer necessity. Many bullying survivors can read body language like an FBI agent, deciphering the tiniest of micro-expressions.

One can even pick up on the vibes others put out…especially negative ones. When a certain skill is mandatory for survival, nature gives you no choice but to quickly hone that skill.

This is a gift. However, it comes at a heavy price.

11. Life lessons from Bullying:

You learn that your safety is your responsibility.

If you’re a victim of bullying, can you truly rely on people in authority to help you? Can you rely on them to do something about the bullying you suffer?

Moreover, can you depend on them to hold your bullies accountable for their horrible behavior? Can you rely on others to bring you justice?

The answer is a resounding NO!

Life is but a vapor, and we only get one chance in this world. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to make that chance count.

If bullies make a derogatory statement to you. It’s your responsibility to counter that statement. So, start today by countering every negative statement your bullies may throw at you.

Tell yourself that you are awesome. Also, tell yourself that you’re a trooper and you deserve much better than the shit people have been giving you.

Only you have control over your life. Therefore, isn’t it time that you got pissed and took your life back?

Why not become a force to be reckoned with? Stand up to these confidence thieves! Let them know that they have no control over your life. Reclaim your power and do it NOW!

Only you have the responsibility to defend yourself from bullying. Your safety is on you!

12. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that No one else is coming to rescue you.

No one is coming to save you from bullying. Not your teachers, your principal, your supervisors, or managers! Moreover, neither the police nor the government is coming to rescue you either.

Again, it’s your responsibility to stand up to your bullies.

It’s up to you to report your bullies. And if that doesn’t work, it’s up to you to defend yourself against them.

13. You learn that Governments can’t legislate bullying out of Bullies.

In other words, you cannot pass laws against it and think that it will go away. Passing laws against bullying will get a lot of innocent victims of it in trouble.

I used to be all about laws against bullying. And yes, the idea sounds great. I won’t pretend it doesn’t.

However, I’m beginning to gravitate away from making bullying a crime. Why? Because most people aren’t going to protect targets until it happens to them or one of theirs.

Here’s another reason I’m gravitating away from making bullying a crime. It’s because most seasoned bullies are believable liars.

They have a flair for flipping the script and painting their victims as the bad guys. Therefore, if lawmakers make bullying an imprisonable crime, many innocent targets would end up behind bars.

If you’re a victim of bullying, you must learn to take care of yourself.

14. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn that Anti-Bullying policies aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

You cannot rely too much on policies. Why? Because they have no teeth!

Schools and workplaces can write all the anti-bullying rules and policies they want. However, until they enforce those policies, they’re cheap. As cheap as the ink and paper that administrators use to make them!

What good are laws and policies if these entities don’t enforce them? And, at what point do we stop relying on the system to protect us and start protecting ourselves?

Understand that, no matter what anyone says, you don’t have to put up with anyone else’s crap. Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up to bullies and do it properly.

And if defending yourself doesn’t work, you have the option to remove yourself from the situation and environment.

15. You learn that bullies will keep bullying you unless you stand up for yourself.

Too many victims have been conditioned to think that self-defense is wrong. It isn’t!

And those who condition these victims to think this way are mostly bullies themselves. Therefore, if bullies select you for bullying, you must stand up for yourself. And you do it by setting boundaries!

Also, you must know your enemies. How you do this is to do a lot of study and research on bullies. Then, you can use the knowledge you gain to outmaneuver them.

16. Life Lessons from Bullying:

You learn to stop caring about what others say or think.

Opinions are just that – opinions! They’re the cheapest commodities on earth! Therefore, you shouldn’t give much value to them.

For someone to offend you, you must first value their opinion. And, to value someone’s opinion, you must also value them. So, stop giving undue value to ignorant people. They damn sure haven’t earned it!

The value you give to an opinion depends on the person giving it and your relationship to them. Put simply, the value of your loving mother’s opinion holds much more value than that of some jerk at work!

In Conclusion

Bullying is painful as hell. No doubt about it. However, if you look for the lessons it can teach you, you will come out on the other side, a winner!

This post was all about the life lessons from bullying so that you can more easily overcome it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 5 Things to Never Do with a Bully

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

bullies who brag about bullying you

Bullies Who Brag about Bullying: How They Screw Themselves

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 ‘Want to know all about bullies who brag about bullying their victims? Here are all the behaviors you need to know about.

bullies who brag about bullying

Bullies have big mouths. When they succeed in taking their targets down, you can bet that they will boast about it later.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullies who brag about bullying and why they do it.

Once you learn all about these important details, you will be able to catch it the next time your bullies brag and use it to bust them.

This post is all about bullies who brag about bullying so that you can use their own words to expose them.

Bullies who Brag about Bullying

I say this because many of my bullies were chronic boasters and braggarts. Anytime a bully beat me up physically or verbally, they would immediately boast about it to get the “street cred” and make that power-high last a little longer.

In fact, most bullies who score a win at your expense will do this. They will posture. And they do it to get attention and props from others.

They will make haughty statements, such as,

  • “I let her have it!”
  • “I cursed her out!”
  • “I threw his little ass down the stairs!”  
  • “I body-slammed that b*tch!”
  • “I kicked her butt!”
  • “I made his nose bleed!”
  • “I choked her out!”
  • “I threw him on the floor and kicked her in the ribs! I wish I’d broke her ribs!”
  • “I told her off!”
  • “I beat the breaks off that *****!”
  • “That little punk got owned!”
  • “We sure put that wimp in her place!”
  • “When we see him, we’re going to cut him down to size!”
  • “We sure shut her down when she tried to open her mouth, didn’t we?”

And they’ll do it while laughing and giving each other high fives. Oh, yes! If your bullies do the same to you, they will be so proud of themselves. They will want the whole world to know how they put “a girl like that” in her place.

Moreover, those who are listening will likely laugh derisively and openly. And sometimes they will brag and laugh right in front of you and even a few teachers.

‘You see? Bullies get their egos involved any time they bully you. And they will be determined that they’re going to prove you wrong, by George!

Bullies who brag about bullying have huge egos.

They’re going to humiliate you. They are going to show you who’s boss. And they’re going to show you that you aren’t as good, safe, independent, strong, or brave as you may think you are.

They’re going to get you! And they’re going to get you good and make you feel it when they do! Bullies love to talk smack! And they do it for psychological abuse.

Yet, if anyone outside their group brings it up and, especially if you do, they will sneer, ridicule, and do their due diligence to silence you? They even deny that it’s happening, or they try and justify themselves.

Here’s why your bullies brag on themselves.

1. To remind others that they have all the power.

Anytime your bullies take you down, they grow full of themselves. They get drunk on their own power. Realize that bullies are megalomaniacs. In other words, they can’t get enough power.

Also, they want others to think they’re more important than they truly are. Therefore, they’ll gloat any time they score a win, no matter how small that victory may be.

2. To remind each and everyone else that the same can happen to them.

Bullies like to brag because they know it intimidates others besides you. In other words, they use you as an example.

Therefore, when bystanders see your bullies torture and torment you, they get the message loud and clear that it’s best not to piss them off. So, they do their best just to stay out of their way.

And if they have to bully you themselves to stay off their radar, don’t think they won’t do it.

3. Bullies who Brag About Bullying:

They do it to encourage others to look down on you.

If your bullies can get others to join them in ridiculing you, they get a huge ego boost. Also, they get the satisfaction of making you feel worse. It’s a fact that large groups can do more damage than individuals.

To keep you down.

Your bullies already brought you down when they physically attacked you. Now, they mean to keep you down by bragging about it. 

If nothing else, know this! You bullies hate your living guts. Therefore, they can’t hurt you enough. In other words, no amount of pain you suffer will be enough to satisfy them.

They’ll always want more. But here’s another thing you probably don’t think about. In doing this, they openly admit that you’re their target and that they abuse you.

Bragging will catch up with your bullies.

Yep! You read that correctly. In their incessant boasting, your bullies are outing themselves. They’re admitting that they’re the ones who are bullying you. Moreover, they’re doing it without even realizing it.

They’re too ignorant to realize that their bragging is a confession. They’re confessing who the real victim is and who the bullies are.

By letting everyone know that they have all the power, and that you’re powerless, they only admit their bullying behavior.

And once you realize these little nuggets of truth when they do this, you won’t feel so powerless. In fact, you’ll be able to use it to your advantage.

In other words, you’ll get to weaponize every word that comes out of their big mouths and use them against your bullies. You’ll use their brags as evidence that they really are the perpetrators and possibly scare them into leaving you alone.

However, most victims of bullying don’t think about this. Why? Because the bullying stresses them out so much that they lose the ability to think clearly. Also, if they suffer bullying in school, few kids think about this at age 12, 13, or even 17? 

Bullies who Brag about Bullying:

Weaponizing their brags worked for me!

Speaking from my own experience, I only thought of this years later, after a bullying incident at work. A vicious coworker accosted me in the hallway. And, as you can probably guess, she bragged about it later.

I immediate jumped on it, using it to my benefit and calling it out.  And I was amazed at the results! The bullying coworker ended up with a week’s suspension and the bullying came to a screeching halt.

From that day forward, she avoided me and never even looked in my general direction.

Therefore, I want you to know that, if you’re a target of bullying and your bullies openly brag about taking you down, that right there, is a confession!

It is important that you point that out. You can say something to the tune of: “Oh, so, you admit to bullying me? Nice! Now, I don’t have to convince anyone. You did that for me! So, thank you!”

And, when you say it, be a real smart-ass. 

If a teacher or supervisor is present. You can turn to them and say, “Uh-huh! See there? Straight from the horse’s mouth. They just admitted that they attacked me. Now, who’s the instigator?”

Do this and you will be pleasantly amazed (and tickled pink) when you see your bullies’ faces change. Their expressions will go from smug looks of arrogance to looks of horror and humiliation, knowing they really stepped in it by opening their traps.

Then you can smile devilishly as they try desperately to pull the foot out of their mouths! Remember that loose lips sink ships and boasting can backfire. Royally!

Always point out the bullies’ confession. Use your bullies’ boasting to trap them. You’ll be surprised at just how fast you shut them down. 

In Closing

As mentioned, bullies, their followers, and cohorts like to brag and boast to others and among themselves about how they abuse you. That much is true.

They gloat to anyone who will listen to them, and people seem to get personal entertainment from it. And, no, they’re not afraid to do it right in front of you.

But call them on it and you throw your bullies into panic mode. They’ll turn right around and deny it then blame you. However, once they’ve opened their mouths in front of someone in power who knows how they are, the gaslighting almost never works.

Have you even wondered why they do this- openly brag about the abuse they inflict on you, then turn around and, depending on the person bringing it up or the overall circumstances and environment, try to cover up the abuse?

It’s because this is the best way for the bullies to hide the abuse in plain sight and sadly, it works like a charm and it’s hard to combat. But don’t lose hope.

Why? Because your bullies will eventually tell off on themselves.

Know that these types of people always get a little too cocky and then get clumsy. They’ve been getting away with stuff for so long that they push a little further, a little further.

They keep pushing until they finally push over the line and end up hanging themselves. And the best part is that you get to see it!

Again, use their brags and call them out. It’s the best way to bust them!

This post is all about bullies who brag about bullying so that you can weaponize their bragging and bust them with it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use 

2. Bullies in School: 5 Ways They Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It

pack mentality psychology

Pack Mentality: All About Group Bullying

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‘Want to know all about pack mentality and why people conform to groups? And do you want to learn how conformity leads people to victimize others? Here’s all the information you need to know.

pack mentality

We are all social creatures by nature. Isolation from a group is terrifying to people and we feel a sense of relief when we find others who think the same way we

When we’re in a group, we’re compelled to take up the opinions and ideas of that group because it brings us relief and a sense of belonging. It’s a fact that a person will act differently in a group than they will individually. Group behavior is contagious. It grows and gains momentum, and it does so very quickly.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about pack mentality, conformity, and how it puts you in danger if you are a victim of bullying.

Once you learn all about this important, even life-saving information. You will be more compelled to take the steps necessarily to keep yourself safe from group bullying.

This post is all about pack mentality and the danger it poses to bullying victims so that you can do what you must do to ensure your own safety.

Pack mentality

If you’re a target of bullying, group behavior has ways of changing your social identity and rewriting your history. Also, it creates more absurd accusations against you.

With time, group behavior gets more and more bizarre until their own hatred blinds them. Moreover, no one knows what really happened or how the hostility even got started. All everyone in the group knows is they want you destroyed and will stop at nothing to make that happen!

In a case of bullying by an entire group, it doesn’t matter whether you’ve done anything to bring the hostility about. And it doesn’t matter whether there is or isn’t anything wrong with you. Whether you’re innocent of any wrongdoing is irrelevant.

In fact, you more than likely did nothing wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Again, that doesn’t matter when you have an entire group of people who detest you.

It doesn’t matter if you are a great person with a heart of gold. Also, it doesn’t matter if you have stunning good looks and a truckload of talent. Why? Because these people could care less about those things.

All that matters is that they hate you, and they’re out to get you!

And that’s a fact! They’re no different than a pack of wild, pit bull dogs.

Therefore, you absolutely must prepare and protect yourself! And your first step to doing this is to understand that bullies who bully in groups never act rationally. When people bully in groups, any logic goes right down the toilet. And emotion always prevails.

When bullies attack, bystanders usually join in. Everyone in the group bands together to humiliate and hurt you. And they have a shared love of seeing you suffer.

In a large group, bullies and bystanders act like fans rooting for their favorite ball team and against the rival team. In a case of bullying, you are that rival team.

Pack Mentality:

A Group of bullies is much more powerful than one bully.

This is much more dangerous. Why? Because the bullies and their loyal sycophants vastly outnumber you. Therefore, they know that it’s safe to show hostility.

People in groups are far more open with abuse. Why? Because their numbers give them more anonymity and protection.

Combine their numbers with the group’s comradery and hostility, and they become even more powerful. And dangerous! It’s the same kind of scenario you see in political fights and persecution.

The enthusiasm of the bullies and supporters is that of an entire nation when its soldiers return home from war. It spreads throughout the group with extreme fervor. It exalts their “heroes” while degrading the enemy.

In sports against the opposing team, in the military against the enemy on the battlefield, or a group of bullies and bystanders against a target, the mentality and feelings of hostility are all the same. It’s the dynamic of “us versus them.”

When bullies turn an entire school, workplace, or organization against you, the entire group shares a great degree of esprit de corps. In other words, members of the group solidify themselves to one another. Moreover, they develop a sense of pride in their group.

At the same time, they distance themselves from you. In this, they overplay the sameness in their clique. Moreover, they exaggerate how different you are from them.

The greater the hatred and hostility, the more they band together and bond with each other.  And the more they wish to harm you. And they don’t only want to hurt you, they want to eliminate you.

The more you know about pack mentality, the better prepared you’ll be when the mob comes for you.

Pack Mentality strengthens group cohesion.

In Robert Greene’s book entitled, “The Laws of Human Nature,” I once read that everyone needs a hated enemy and that there’s a positive side to having one… at least for them.  I’ve found that with packs of bullies, this is true.

Bullies in groups need an enemy, whether real or imagined. This helps them band together and fight against- an “us-versus-them” object.

Why? Because the presence of an enemy has always served to strengthen group cohesion and unite members. Groups use their hatred of the enemy to tighten the bonds among it’s members.

Moreover, if they can get anyone with power to join in the hatred, all the better. Why? Because they can more easily align together and eliminate you. The person in power can anyone from a teacher to a politician.

Sadly, love doesn’t unite people like hate does. Having shared hatred for someone bands people together much quicker and more effectively.

Bullies get their power from an entourage.

Remember that there’s strength in numbers, and bullies must always have groupies to back them up. Therefore, you will never see a bully alone. Why? Because they can’t handle being by themselves.

Bullies are cowards! Wimps! Wusses! They always attack in groups because they need their wing men to back them up. The pack is where they draw their power.

Without their backup, bullies are just as powerless as you are. A bully is too afraid to attack you one on one because they fear that you would bury them where they fall.

The bigger the group, the more intense the hatred. And the more intense the hatred, the stronger the solidarity and he less likely it is that the group will disband.

Hatred is the glue that binds the members together.

Dog Pack Mentality:

The victim serves several purposes for the group.

If you’re a victim of a large group of bullies, you are the tie that binds them. You unwittingly assure that the group always stays together as one.

Without you, a group of bullies is weak and things get boring real fast. Therefore, it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

If you suffer bullying from a group, they also need you for shared entertainment. They will use you as a victory trophy to collect and display. Also, they must use you as a guinea pig to test their strength and power on.

You are there for them to show others proof that they really are powerful.

Therefore, you give your bullies many outcomes. And once you’ve served your purpose, your bullies and their supporters will neatly and quietly dispose of you. Then, they’ll select a new victim.

The more you know about pack mentality, the better you can protect yourself against it.

Each member conforms to the rest of the group.

Conformity can be good because we conform to sensible laws and rules in order to ensure a safe and well-run society. Conformity holds us together.

However, when people conform at their own expense or to harm another person, that’s when it’s a bad thing. That’s when conformity becomes toxic conformity.

As mentioned earlier, hate is what fuels pack mentality. But toxic conformity also perpetuates it. Therefore, each member will take turns bullying you because they know it’s expected of them by the rest of the pack.

In fact, some of the members will bully you just to fit in.

As a result, the group rewards each member with inclusion and acceptance. Moreover, those rewards come at your expense.

We call this, “pack mentality” or “herd mentality.” And most people will do anything, right or wrong, to follow the rest of the herd.

Pack Mentality:

What is the difference between conformity and toxic conformity?

Again, conformity can be a good thing because it ensures a peaceful society. Everyone conforms to laws that keep peace and ensure safety.

On the other hand, toxic conformity only brings danger.

Conformity encourages people to speak up when they see wrongdoings and injustices. Therefore, it brings awareness of suffering.

Toxic conformity, on the other hand, forces people to stay silent about atrocities. It only blinds people to any pain others may experience.

Conformity promotes the love care for the individual. Toxic conformity promotes hatred and abuse of the individual.

What happens if a few members of the Bullying pack don’t conform?

Each member expects the others to act the same way they do. They expect them agree with everything they say and do. Right or wrong, they also expect them to keep their mouths shut.

In other words, each person must go along to get along.

So, what happens to them if they don’t bully you like the rest of the pack expects them to? They will be ostracized by the rest of the group. Moreover, the non-conformer will likely become the group’s new target.

They may be subjected to smear campaigns or physical violence. In extreme cases, they may even be murdered. Therefore, each member of the pack knows that they’d better conform or else.

So, they bully you to protect their own hide.

Therefore, when a pack of bullies comes for you, you must know where their hostility comes from. And you must take the appropriate measures to protect yourself.

Pack Mentality:

So, what can you do to protect yourself from a large group of bullies?

The effects of this kind of bullying can be severe. Therefore, it’s important that you take steps to defend yourself.

if you are a victim of bullies with pack mentality, especially if they’re in a large group you can call one of the members out by name and yell, “Stop!” When you call one or more members by name, you are removing their anonymity.

Therefore, you will shock them back to reality and they might just go away.

  If that doesn’t work, the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the environment.

For instance, if you suffer this form of bullying in school, you may need to transfer schools. If it’s happening at work, you will need to create an exit plan and begin looking for a new job as soon as possible.

If this kind of bullying is coming from a band of townies in a community, it’s best if you just packed up and moved to another area.

Granted, either of these things may be difficult to do. However, it’s crucial if you have a band of bullies on your trail. And what other choice will you have?

 Change, especially positive change, is never easy. However, persecuted people have uprooted and left their home countries for the US in order to attain freedom.

Moreover, they found a better life. So, how much easier would it for you to leave a toxic environment? Move to a place where you can be safe and where you can grow and flourish. Only then will you live in peace!

This post is all about pack mentality so that you can recognize it and take steps to keep yourself safe from harm.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People 

2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

self-comparison is the thief of joy

Self-Comparison: Why It’s a Confidence Killer

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‘Want to know why self-comparison is such a confidence killer? Here are all the reasons you need to be aware of.

self-comparison

Self-comparison is the killer of self-esteem.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about self-comparison so that you’ll know to avoid it like the plague.

Also, you’ll learn how to catch yourself when you start to compare yourself to others and shut it down before it does any damage.

Once you learn all about this evil mental disease, you will be about to keep your confidence and self-esteem healthy and enjoy being you.

This post is all about self-comparison and why you should avoid it so you can recognize it and avoid it.

Self-Comparison

Self-comparison is the enemy is the one thing you should stay away from. Here are a few reasons why.

1. It discourages you from being yourself.

Many targets of bullying get into the habit of comparing themselves to others. For example, a bullied kid sitting in the lunchroom at school may look a few tables over from him.

He may see the very kids who bully him surrounded by friends, yucking it up and having a good time. They seem to be enjoying friendships while the bullied kid is left in the cold.

Moreover, watching them causes an ache in the kid’s heart. It may even make him angry at the injustice of it. He thinks to himself:

“I wish I were like him because if I were, I’d have friends too. I hate him because he’s a creep and doesn’t deserve to be so lucky! Why him? I deserve it more than he does? It’s not fair!”
But when is life ever fair?

2. It makes you resentful.

Here’s another example. A coworker at a company sees another coworker who hasn’t put in as much time as he has. The boss gives the newer employee a promotion.

The older coworker immediately gets angry. Moreover,  he thinks that the only way the other guy must’ve gotten that promotion is by sucking up to the boss. He then begins to wish the other coworker all kinds of bad luck.

3. Self-Comparison makes you jealous.

The root of this is thinking that someone else is just luckier or better off than you.

Again, comparing yourself to others is a real self-esteem killer. But sadly, people do it all the time. When you compare your life to someone else’s, it only breeds all kinds of toxic emotions, two of which are anger and jealousy.

Understand that you cannot judge the appearances someone keeps up and accurately guess what their life is like. Because people are notorious for showing only the best parts of their lives and keeping the less-than-desirable parts hidden.

Also realize that some people, bullies especially, making it a point to flash only the positive aspects of their lives to those around them. And they do it for the sole purpose of provoking envy.

Why? Because knowing that others are jealous of them is a huge boost to their egos. It gives them a sense of power and superiority. Realize that the appearances these people keep up are only a show. Here are a few examples.

Example 1.

At school, many of my bullies looked like they really had their lives going for them. However, things weren’t so rosy for them at home.

Some of them had drunken fathers who would come home from the local bar and smack their mothers around. And they had to watch that!

Here’s another example. You see some guy at work. Every day, he comes to work decked out in fancy clothes. He pulls into the parking lot, driving a hot sports car.  He also has a six-bedroom house in the ritzy part of town.

Although he may look like he’s rolling in money, he’s more than likely living beyond his means. Chances are he’s in debt up to his eyeballs. He probably feels terrified inside because he knows that if the slightest setback happens, he’ll lose it all!

This is why self-comparison is such a waste of your time. Because it causes you to sit around, looking at those you think have it better. And, in reality, they’re probably much worse off than you are.

Yet, you waste all that energy hating on them. You must stop this right now!

Self-Comparison:

Example 2

You’re a single lady. You see a seemingly happy couple in a shopping mall. They look so happy and so in love. Also, they have friends gathered around them. But you have no clue what goes on in their house.

Her husband could be beating the crap out of her behind closed doors (or vise versa) and they’re only putting on airs. Also, they might be on the brink of divorce.

Example 3

You’re scrolling through your social media news feed. Suddenly, you see pictures of your next door neighbor, lying on the beach in the tropics. But what you don’t realize is that they had to clean out their savings just to take that trip.

You don’t See what others are dealing with in private.

Here’s my point. Never judge anyone who seems a little luckier than you. Why? Because, in private, they could be fighting battles you know nothing about.

They may have a mother at home dying of cancer. Or, they might have a father who went off to war and never came back.  The person could be buried in legal issues.

Self-Comparison kills your happiness.

For instance, you feel so content with your life  until you spot someone who looks like they have it much better than you. Then, all of a sudden, you’re feeling less than. This should indicate how useless self-comparison and jealousy really are.

Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying and the next time you spot someone who has a lot of friends, think about this. Some of those friends may only pretend to like them. Those same friends may talk some mad shit about them once their back is turned.

So, don’t allow it to cause you to compare yourself to them. So, how do you get rid of self-comparison?

Count your blessings.

You get rid of it by taking your attention off these people and counting your blessings. Because although they may be luckier than you in one aspect, you are most likely better off than them in other ways. Think about it.

Also, understand that anytime you feel jealous of another person, it only means that deep inside, you’re insecure. It means that you have a deep-seated spirit of lack and failure. Therefore, you want to take the other person’s good fortune away from them and keep it for yourself.

And lastly, it’s a sign that you don’t feel that you can ever reach those goals yourself. Stop it! Because if they can, you can too.

Stop comparing yourself to others because it’s a waste of time and energy. It also drains your confidence.

Know that you are enough and your life is enough. And you never know what the future holds. You too may someday buy your dream home, find a loving partner, or get the opportunity to go on a tropical getaway.

For now, be happy for those who are presently getting those opportunities. Instead of provoking jealousy in you, these people should inspire you and give you hope for the future. Moreover, they should inspire you to work toward your goals and dreams.

Self-Comparison cause you to degrade yourself.

Although you can never control how others see you or how they behave toward you, you can control how you see and treat yourself. You have a choice of whether to keep them in your life or kick them out of it.

Remember that your thoughts are free, and you choose the way you think of yourself. You control how you see yourself. Moreover, you choose whether or not to care what other people think!

So, if bullies are trying to make you feel less than by rubbing their successes in your face, realize that you don’t have to put up with it.

No one deserves to live, work, or learn in an unsafe environment. You’re well within your rights to walk away and never look back. And, if you can’t walk away, then make changes that benefit you until you can.

Therefore, stop caring what people think! Stop comparing yourself to others. Be happy, be yourself, and watch the benefits of it begin to roll in! Then, enjoy those advantages!

You don’t have to feel less than because someone else is reaping their harvest before yours comes in. It isn’t necessary. You have just as much of a chance at success as anyone else. You just don’t know it yet.

Therefore, learn to love yourself. Be satisfied with where you are for the time being. Practice your talents and gifts. Do the things you enjoy most. And spend time with the people who love you.

Most importantly, give a little of yourself to help others without expecting anything in return. And I promise you. It will pay off sooner or later.

Jealousy isn’t necessary. Continue to work on your goals and dreams. Stay confident. Be yourself. And know that there will come a day when you too will enjoy success in all aspects of your life.

This post is all about self-comparison so that you’ll know how damaging it can be to your confidence and take steps to avoid it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

2. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

3. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You 

negative self-beliefs list

Negative Self-Beliefs: 5 Ways They Effect Victims of Bullying

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‘Want to know about negative self-beliefs and all the ways they can effect you if you’re a victim of bullying? Here are all the details you need to know.

negative self-beliefs

When you suffer bullying, it can have ways of playing with your mind. You may initially be a confident person with strong self-beliefs. However, once bullies select you for abuse, they can rip your confidence to shreds. And, before you know it, you’ll begin to doubt your worth and adopt negative self beliefs that match what your bullies think of you.

And, it can destroy your life.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about negative self-beliefs and ways they effect you so that you can recognize them and take steps to preserve your confidence and self-esteem.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will want to fight to keep your confidence and other things that truly matter.

This post is all about negative self-beliefs so that you can hold on to your self-worth and continue to value yourself even when others don’t.

Negative self-beliefs

Bullies have ways of programming you and turning you against yourself, if you aren’t careful. As a result, it can change the entire trajectory of your life. Negative self-beliefs are what Zig Zigler calls, “stinkin’ thinkin.'”

And they can turn your life upside down.

However, there are ways that you can counter this and change those negative beliefs to positive. All you have to do is catch those bad thoughts when they cross your mind. Then, counter them.

It may feel strange at first. But, if you keep practicing, it will soon become like second nature.

Here are a few negative thoughts you can counter.

Anytime you think, ” I’m not good enough,” immediately counter it with, “I AM good enough. I matter and I have value. My bullies’ opinions do not define me.”

Here are other examples you can counter.

Negative belief:

“Nobody will ever love me.”

Positive belief that counters it:

“Yes they will. People already DO love me. My bullies are only saying these things to tear down my self-esteem.”

Negative belief:

“Nothing good can ever happen to me.”

Positive belief that counters it:

“Good things CAN happen to me and they will. Things may not look so rosy now. But things always get better sooner or later.”

Negative belief:

”It sucks to be me!”

Positive belief that counters it:

“It’s GREAT to be me and I love being me. Others may not like me. In fact, they may hate me. But that says more about them then it does about me. So, who are they to decide who I am?” 

Again, you must counter everything your bullies tell you. Besides, what do you care what they think? They don’t matter and they shouldn’t even be an afterthought.

Why counter negative self-beliefs when people bully you?

Because bullying is a form of brainwashing.

When you suffer bullying for long enough, you become fearful and unconsciously hold yourself back. If bullies continue to tell you that you aren’t good enough, you’ll soon believe it too if you don’t stand up for yourself.

In other words, if your bullies succeed in drumming this crap into your head, it may become a self-fulfilling prophecy. This is the last thing you want to happen!

Therefore, counter every verbal attack!

Because bullying is so repetitive.

Bullies are notorious for repeating their attacks. And they do this deliberately to program you to believe them.

This is especially evil because it causes you to think that you’re aren’t worthy of love and friendship. And it makes you believe that you don’t deserve to be happy and prosperous.

Also, it instills fear. It is because of this fear that you stop taking risks. You no longer trust yourself to make good decisions.

Because you don’t think that you’re good enough, you settle for far less than you deserve. And, before long, you develop the mindset that good fortune only happens to anyone who isn’t you.

Bullies can also cause you to lose faith in humanity. You begin to think that all people are rotten and take pleasure in harming others.

As a result, this attitude only causes you to lose out on good friendships and relationships. And it only re-enforces your loneliness and isolation.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

Bullies can cause damage that takes years to repair.

This is what bullying does to you if you allow. It reprograms your mind and smashes your self-esteem to pieces. And it can sometimes take years to put your mental health back together again.

It causes you to do things that you usually wouldn’t do. You select friends you really don’t want to be friends with.

Moreover, you date partners you aren’t even remotely attracted to all because you believe you can’t do any better. But you continue dating these losers just to keep from being alone.

As long as there’s a warm body around, it’s good enough. However, by doing this, you’re not only being unfair to yourself but to the people you select.

You deserve to be with those you want to be with. Also, you deserve to be with those who bring positivity to your life.

And the dating partners you’re settling for? They also deserve to be with people who choose to be with them, not because they’re the only option.

Bullies may accuse you of being selfish when you take care of yourself.

Self-care is never selfish. However, bullies will accuse you of being selfish when you’re only taking care of yourself.

Therefore, you stop practicing self-care and neglect yourself just to satisfy a few ignorant bullies. However, here’s what you need to know right now.

Sometimes, you must permit yourself to be a little bit selfish. In fact,  a degree of selfishness is okay. At times, it’s crucial! Therefore, don’t be ashamed of putting yourself first.

 Never allow anyone to shame you into believing that anything you do for yourself is wrong. Never put yourself on the back burner to appease toxic people.

Selflessness is good, don’t get me wrong. However, it’s unhealthy if putting others first is done at  your expense.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

It’s okay to say “no.”

When you’re afraid to say “no” because you fear retaliation, that’s when you know you need to change your belief system. You deserve to be valued. Therefore, never allow anyone to forbid you to set boundaries.

Realize that you don’t have to allow others to shit all over you! If your life is heading the wrong direction because bullies have brainwashed you, you can change it.

However, it takes getting real with yourself. It requires that you admit to yourself that you’ve been duped. And it takes getting angry at yourself for allowing bullies to mind-f*ck you for all these years.

So, get angry and say, “no more!” You, as much as anyone else, deserve to live happy and in peace.

Changing Destructive thoughts isn’t easy.

Getting rid of destructive thoughts and habits is the hardest thing you’ll never do. In fact, if you’ve had the same thought patterns for several years, your mind will do its best to resist you.

But you can do it! However, It takes a lot of grunt-work. And, most of all, it takes patience. Positive change doesn’t happen overnight.

Negative Self-Beliefs:

Here are ways you can alter negative self-beliefs.

You must get hungry! And you must hunger for any knowledge that will help you change your inside. Only then will you begin to see a positive difference in your outside!

Read personal development books.

Therefore, take your first step toward empowerment by reading as many personal development books that you can get your hands on. Then put everything you learn to practice.

Why? Because, again, psychological reprogramming is hard as hell!

I can’t stress this enough! Your mind will fight you every step of the way. It will take you several years to notice a significant difference in your thought patterns and attitude.

Therefore, you will need to read a lot of personal development books. But be assured that it will pay off in a big way!

And things will be much different! You must realize that doing the work to bring positive changes in your life is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

Don’t let your bullies win by giving them carte blanche to brainwash you with their bullshit. Do what you must do to push back against their rhetoric!

value yourself

Always, value yourself, even when others don’t. Why? Because it will work wonders for your self-esteem. Keep fighting even when it seems you’re losing the battle.

Oftentimes, when things look the bleakest, your breakthrough is just around the corner.

Therefore, continue to love yourself and put yourself first. Reach out to only those who reciprocate the love you give.

Moreover, turn a deaf ear to the harmful talk bullies try to fill your head with. Better yet, send those toxic parasites packing! Because you don’t need them in your life! I promise you!

Do not be afraid to accept outside help. If you get counseling or take courses like Assertiveness Training, it doesn’t mean you’re weak. You must do what you need to improve your thought patterns.

In closing:

Negative self-beliefs only turn your life upside down. What we think, we become. Therefore, always counter destructive thinking with positive thinking. If you need extra help, read personal development books, get counseling, or take an assertiveness training course.

Do these things and I guarantee that you’ll get rid of low self-esteem. And you’ll see amazing results in your thinking!

This post is all about negative Self-beliefs and how they can negatively impact your life so that you can catch them and turn them around before they do any lasting damage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

2. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

3. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways

4. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

5. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

Bullies and Victim-Mentality: 9 Behaviors of Bullies Who Play Victim

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‘Want to know about bullies and victim-mentality? Here’s everything you need to know.

bullies and victim-mentality

Bullies don’t mind dishing the nastiness out to their victims. However, when the victims start giving it back to them, they’ll play the victim-role real quickly.

In fact, they’re the biggest cry-babies in the world!

Therefore, in this post you will learn all about bullies and victim-mentality so that you can keep from being blamed for their attacks.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be able to confidently call them out when you defend yourself against your bullies and they try to act like they’re the victims.

This post is all about bullies and victim-mentality so that you can recognize the behavior and call it out. Also, you can protect yourself from getting blamed for your bullies’ ratchet behavior.

Bullies and Victim-Mentality

Bullies have a grandiose sense of entitlement. Why? Because they’re so quick to attack you without provocation. However, you finally get fed up and show your ugly side, it not only surprises them, it also offends them.

Therefore, they’ll assume the victim role.

Here are 9 behaviors of bullies who play victim.

1. They Dissolve into a puddle of tears.

If a bully thinks they’re about to get into trouble over their bad behavior, they’ll quickly turn on the water works. They’ll cry those crocodile tears and play the victim.

Unfortunately, they’ll do it so convincingly that others will fall for their bullshit. Therefore, be prepared and don’t take the blame for their bad behavior.

Call out those fake tears. And do it loudly and with confidence. Why? Because they’re nothing but a bunch of cry-bullies.

2. They Get Outraged at you for standing up to them.

Understand that bullies feel entitled to do whatever they want to do and you have no right to stop them. In fact, they believe you don’t have a right to even speak against it.

They think that they are beyond reproach and that you should never question their behavior.

You’re bullies think they have a right to mistreat you and you’re just supposed to bow down and take their crap. You’re just supposed to let them harm you and take it with a smile.

Why? Because, in their minds, you’re inferior. So, you should just shut your mouth and take it. They may not come out and say it. However, this is how these chumps think.

3. Bullies and victim-mentality:

They’ll grip, whine, and complain when things don’t go their way.

For instance, if you hold them accountable for anything, your bullies will bitch, moan, and regress into a toddler. If you stand up to them, they may run to a teacher or boss-man and cry like a little bitch.

They might throw a temper tantrum, railing against the injustice and unfairness of it all.

Also, they may also do something to get back at you for daring to stand up for yourself. Understand that cry-bullies must always get their way. This is why they get furious with and throw a fit with you.

Then, they’ll tell anyone who’ll listen that you’re the bully.

4. They’ll shout you down when call them out on their bad behavior.

To them, their words and opinions are golden. Therefore, if you happen to speak against them, your bullies will instantly turn into petulant children.

They’ll call you all kinds of ugly names and launch personal attacks against you. Moreover, they may even hit you first.

But, if you hit them back, they will cry like a wimp and claim you started it.

5. Bullies and Victim-Mentality:

They want everything handed to them.

Cry-bullies are entitled to have whatever they want when they want it. They don’t like to work for anything. Moreover, they don’t like to wait for it either.

These types of people are impatient. When they want something, they want it right then. And they’ll never stop bothering you until you cave in and give it to them.

You must understand that your bullies do this to wear you down. However, don’t give them the satisfaction. Double down and resist, no matter what! Stand firm, if for nothing more than to teach them a lesson.

6. They hate it when someone else has life better than they do.

When your bullies see you doing better than them, it makes them feel indignant. In other words, they feel that life hasn’t given them a fair shake.

They will often sulk and play on others’ sympathy. Also, they will try to get back at you for being just a little luckier than they are.

Understand that these types of individuals see your successes as injustice.

7. They Shift the blame to you.

This point takes me back to how the bully tries to make you look like the bully. In some cases, this person deludes herself into believing that she is, in fact, the victim.

And sadly, they’re very successful in making others believe that garbage.

Therefore, when you think of a cry-bully, think Nellie Olson in the TV series, “Little House on the Prairie.”

Don’t pander to the crybully and don’t be too nice and try to calm them down. If you do, they’ll only keep manipulating you.

8. Bullies and Victim-Mentality:

Many Bullies Cop Out Behind Victimization.

Too many people use past trauma as justification for wrongdoing. They feel that because they suffered, life owes them somehow.

I have seen people mistreat others merely because of the bullying they suffered in the past. But, why do they do this? It’s because they think that it’s the only way they can feel empowered again.

Sadly, I was guilty of the same thing in high school. It isn’t something I’m proud of today.

For example, some may choose to rob a bank or burn down a corporate building because they grew up poor. Because they didn’t get a fair shake in life, they think that it justifies their crimes.

In their minds, the world owes them. Therefore, they have a good excuse for striking back against a system they believe screwed them over.

And, when the law finally catches them and hauls them off to jail, they become even more embittered. Why? Because they believe that being held responsible for their crimes only further evidences that they aren’t getting a fair shake.

We’re all responsible for our actions regardless of what happened to us in the past. 

Evil behavior always brings consequences. You reap what you sow.

Your feelings are valid but your actions aren’t. Past victimization does not justify wrongdoing. Ever! A reason does not equal an excuse. We’re all responsible for our lives, whether you like it or not.

I could have gone on bullying others because people bullied me in the past. But where would it have gotten me? Nowhere! That behavior would have only brought consequences and more misery.

Wouldn’t it be better to learn from adversity and take accountability for your life? Therefore, it’s up to you to try to make your life better than it was in the past.

9. Bullies and Victim-Mentality:

They live in the past.

Now, reminiscing isn’t a bad thing. To look back on yesterday, when life was much simpler, makes you feel good. Happy memories always make you feel better.

However, when you constantly ruminate on the bad stuff that happened to you, that’s when it becomes a problem.

You hold grudges. And you long to someday get back at the person who hurt you. This isn’t good for anyone. It only eats you out from the inside.

Bullies are notorious for holding grudges.

Sadly, too many survivors of bullying hold on to grudges. They constantly ruminate over the bullying they endured, wishing they had knocked the hell out of the bully. They look back with remorse, shame, guilt, and regret.

Now, it’s normal to do right after you’ve gotten out of the toxic environment that encouraged the bullying. I completely understand. However, when this goes on for too many years, you only hold yourself back. Unnecessary baggage only keeps you down.

Therefore, don’t trap yourself in an endless cycle of what-ifs. Why? Because, when you do, you only keep yourself stuck in a quagmire of misery.

Also, you forgo opportunities to learn from and grow from those experiences.

So, let it go. Accept what happened and learn from it. Let it make you better instead of bitter!Only then can you reach empowerment and find happiness.

In Closing

Nothing makes you sicker than seeing some punk bully start something they can’t finish. And there’s nothing more pathetic than a bully who pushes someone too far, than cries like a schoolyard sissy when they get their ass kicked up between their shoulders.

But sadly, this is how most of them get away with bullying.

Therefore, if you’re a bully, do yourself a favor. Don’t mess with someone and expect not to get some in return. Don’t be a cry-bully.

And, if you’re a victim, stand up for yourself even if your bully tries to put on the innocent little victim act. Continue to hold your boundaries.

Don’t fall for the crocodile tears or the selective outrage. Call that shit out! And stand strong. Realize that victim-mentality is only a farce, designed to keep your bullies’ asses out of trouble.

And lastly, and most importantly, refuse to see yourself as a victim. Instead, see yourself as a target. Why? Because there’s a difference between a target of bullying and a victim of bullying.

This post is all about bullies and victim-mentality so that you can recognize it when you see it and be prepared for it when you stand up to your bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What is a Crybully and How Do You Spot One?

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers

4. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters 

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Female Bullies: 7 Reasons They Bully Other Women and Girls

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‘Want to know all about female bullies? Here are all the reasons they like to bully other women and girls.

female bullies

Female bullies are the most vicious of the sexes. Why, because they’re sneakier with their bullying than their male counterparts.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about female bullies and the reasons they bully. Moreover, you’ll also learn the traits these bitches look for in potential victims.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be prepared the next time these little vixens come for you. And you’ll be better able to defend yourself against them.

This post is all about female bullies, the covert tactics they use, the types of victims they look for, and how you can defend yourself so that you can rise above them like a phoenix! 

Female Bullies

Message to Female Victims

I knew how you feel. You see all the boys at school fawning over your bullies.  Or, you may be the single lady at work who watches all the suitors flirt with your workplace bullies. All the while, they only overlook or even laugh at you.

And the funny thing is that most of these girls may or may not look as good as you. However, these guys see something in these gals. And believe me, I know the sense of bewilderment you must be feeling.

But let me tell you what they really see in those girls.

They see potential scores- easy marks – cheap thrills! To put it bluntly, they have plans to bed these women. A honeypot is a honeypot and erect penises have no eyes. So, do you really want a guy to see you as that?

So, why do these guys avoid or laugh at you? Maybe it’s because they sense that if they were to ask you to put out, you’ll only turn them down flat. Therefore, these guys are great big chickens!

You must realize that most Female Bullies are easy.

Understand that when people know they can’t have something, they show disdain for it. In other words, they dump all over it to look like they’re the ones in control.

Guys in your age group may pass you over. However, many of the  guys will only use your them one time. And, once they get what they want from them, they’ll toss them away like a dirty diaper. Yuck! Who wants that!

And many of these jerks are under the delusion that they’re doing these girls a favor by even considering them. Also, they think that these gals are automatically obligated to put out to them.

This happens a lot in school.

And, if they say no, the boy usually kicks her get out of his vehicle and drive away. Therefore, he leaves her stranded on the side of the road at ten or eleven on a Saturday night. This happened to many girls when I was in school and it probably happens today.

So, can you really say that you’re unlucky? Absolutely not. It’s only evidence that you’ve dodged a bullet!

Therefore, if you’re one of those girls whom guys overlook, it may be a blessing in disguise! Do you really want some creep who’s only out to get in your pants?

Hold on to your virtues. Be confident in who you are. Moreover, be proud that you have morals and aren’t like the other girls who get kissed up to.

Why? Because the favor they get from these guys always comes with a huge price tag!

Female Bullies Like to Target Classy Chicks and Good Girls

In no way am I judging anyone who is sexually liberated. That’s not my job. Therefore, I won’t attempt to do a job that’s only God’s to do.

But when these bullies mistreat classy ladies who choose to save themselves for true love, that’s when I’m going to have something to say. And some people won’t like it. So, here goes.

Have you noticed that it’s almost never the butt-floss wearing females who get targeted for bullying? It seems that it’s mostly the girls who are discreet and have self-respect that people treat the worst.

Bullies and others ridicule them and made to feel like there’s something wrong with them if they don’t follow their lead. Moreover, it seems that bullies love to target these ladies.

But why?

1.Pop culture and music.

We get subliminal messages from the music, movies, TV, and other media outlets. And they push the narrative that it is okay to, dare I say, act like a “ho.”

Girls listen to a lot of “thot-pop.” Also, they watch videos of overrated stars like Cardi B and Miley Cyrus, who bare it all and commit blatant sexual acts for all the world to view right from their living rooms.

Who remembers either watching Cardi B’s raunchy performance with Megan whatshername to her infamous “WAP” song?

Sadly, our girls are getting the message that it’s okay, and worse, completely normal to let it all hang out. Society has normalized acting inappropriate in public.

Many girls think that it’s completely fine to cheapen themselves and make themselves nothing more than a sex object. In other words, they think it’s better to use your behind rather than your mind to get ahead in life.

Society is embracing the wrong values. Moreover, female bullies are persecuting the classy ladies who don’t or won’t jump on board.

The running narrative is that anything goes. Showing belly, boobs, and butt is what it takes to get a man.

However, no guy who’s worth his salt would even consider a long-term relationship, much less marriage with such a woman.

2. Female bullies think that classy women are old-fashioned and boring.

It’s no secret that bullies prioritize the wrong things. They focus on getting attention, approval, admiration, and popularity.

Therefore, they’re all for indecent behavior and stripping down to nothing if it will give them those benefits. Because bullies are all about being idolized and worshiped.

And they’ll only sneer at others who aren’t ratchet and slutty like they are.

But! Here’s the thing. Maybe, just maybe, it isn’t only that bullies consider classy women and good girls to be old-fashioned and boring.

They see classy woman and good girls as a threat.

If  you’re one of those decent ladies who gets bullied by other females, It just might be because you won’t  bow down and worship them. You won’t give them the validation they’re seeking.

Moreover, male bullies may bully you because they know that you just might reject them! Gasp!

So, again. Why do people bully good girls and classy women?

Because a good, classy, down-to-earth lady respects herself too much to kneel before anyone. And the she-bullies with narcissism are more than likely to be the butt-cheek baring, all-eyes-on-me, girls.

And the lady deems attentions-seekers to be of the lowest common denominator. Therefore, such females aren’t worth her time, and the she-bullies know that. And they’re angered by it.

Female bullies hate it when someone inferior won’t kneel.

God forbid that anyone they deem inferior rejects them. I mean, think about it. Maybe that’s why these she-bullies are so hell bent on bringing you down.

It’s because, deep down, they already know that you don’t think very highly of them. They have an I’m-gonna-get-you-before-you-get-me kind of attitude.

So, if you’re one of these victims, this is my message to you.

Know that your worth is so much higher than the she-bullies and their tomcat male counterparts. You have standards, a strong sense of self and know that you’re not just a sex object.

Therefore, you chose to expose your mind and not your behind. And one day, you’ll find a real man who truly deserves you and wants to love you.

Know that your worth isn’t determined by the eye candy you can offer men. And, it isn’t determined by what you can do for them.

Your sex-appeal doesn’t determine your worth.

Your worth is determined by what you can do for yourself and how well you treat yourself and others.

The best thing you can do is to be a lady. Why? Because it is the ladies who end up being the winners. They don’t have to resort to cheapening themselves to fit in or get male attention.

Moreover, they don’t accept attention from the cheap tomcats who crawl up behind the she-bullies.

The beautifully decorated, yet half-naked she-bullies are a dime a dozen. The she-bully only attracts the dogs.

In other words, they attract the beta-men who only pose as alphas. Only the cheap playboys who are only there to hit it then quit it chase these girls.

But a lady is a keeper. She’s not a one-date wonder or a one-night stand. Why? Because she knows she’s worth more than just her body.

Ladies don’t care what female bullies think of them.

The lady doesn’t care what petty people think of her. She doesn’t give a hoot that the she-bullies and their tomcats look down their noses at her. Because they don’t matter.

It is the lady, the once-bullied classy chick and good girl who will score a high-value man. Why? Because she is a high-value woman.

Moreover, the lady will live a good life because she has good morals she lives by. And those morals are, in fact, so strong that they remain unchanged by the decaying society we live in.

Instead of being half-naked to fit in, the lady will stand out by keeping her clothes on. This doesn’t mean she dresses like a nun, but she keeps it classy.

And, if you’re one of these ladies, that’s why you’re already ahead of the game. She-bullies are only good for a one-time roll in the sack. Ladies, on the other hand, are wife for life material.

Here are the 7 Reasons Female bullies bully other women and girls.

1. Competition.

She-bullies are overly competitive. Females who are ladies threaten their power. Therefore, those bullies will give them a hard time.

They do it to destroy their confidence and degrade them in the eyes of others. Especially suitors!

2. Jealousy.

If a female bully sees a lady who’s got her shit together, she will be jealous of her. As a result, the bully will do her best to know her down a peg or two.

3. Insecurity.

These chicks are naturally insecure. Otherwise, they wouldn’t behave the way they do. When they see some girl who’s secure in who she is, they want to tear her down.

Why? Because they want her to be as insecure as they are.

4. Female Bullies think it looks cute.

Ferocious females mistreat others because they think it impresses others, especially guys. However, others look down on that kind of behavior.

No one wants to be around someone who’s petty. And a catty woman is a complete turn-off to guys.

5. For social status.

Unfortunately, most people are toxic these days. Therefore, bullies are likely to be rewarded in toxic environments.

However, in one that’s healthy, bullies won’t get far.

6. To impress people.

This goes back to number four. Catty behavior isn’t impressive at it. It’s socially repelling! Moreover, no guy wants to be with a drama-queen. Why?

Because, he knows that she just might turn on him too. If you want to know how a person will treat you, watch how they treat others.

7. Female Bullies Bully other females To feel better about themselves.

They may feel better for the moment. However, it won’t last. That sense of power bullies get can fade rather quickly!

In closing

If you’re a decent, self-respecting woman who other females love to torment, I can’t stress this enough!

Women who are catty never get far in life.

So, don’t let the desire to fit in cause you to relax your values, your morals, your beliefs, and your convictions. Hold on to your standards. Know your worth.

Things may be lonely for you now. However, the virtues your bullies ridicule will be the very qualities that real, quality people will cherish.

You just wait!

This post was all about female bullies and the reasons they bully so that you will be prepared for them. And You’ll respond to them with poise and confidence.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Catty Women: 5 Powerful Ways to Deal with Their Bullying 

2. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by 

3. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well 

Recovery from Bullying: Journey to Healing

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‘Want to know about recovery from bullying and what to expect once you leave the toxic environment you were bullied in? Here are all the details!

recovery from bullying

After you finally escape a bullying environment, you must take time to heal. Moreover, the healing may take a while. But! Know that you can do it! You can overcome bullying and move on to a more productive and rewarding life.

In this post, you will learn all about the long recovery from bullying from someone who has been there.

Once you learn all about these encouraging details, you will be much more excited for your future. Moreover, you will look forward to the day you find peace and happiness.

This post is all about recovery from bullying so that you can finally rest and heal. And, for the first time in a long time, you can finally look forward to a brighter tomorrow.

Recovery from Bullying

The healing didn’t happen overnight.

The trial by fire ended during my senior year. I could hardly believe it was over! I was finally transferring to a brand new school, where I could start anew, with a clean slate.

My new school, Roseberg High, felt like a paradise! Everyone there accepted me as I was, and I made so many new friends. For the first time in six years, I felt safe again!

Moreover, I could relax and be myself.

I felt as if my life was finally beginning. And I could finally put the bullying from the old school behind me.

However, this brand new start didn’t come without a few hang-ups. The last several months at Roseburg were the best of all four years of high school.

But I didn’t realize that I was still carrying a lot of leftover baggage from the severe abuse I suffered at the old school.

There were afternoons during my first month at Roseburg when I’d have a long cry after I got home. Being four months pregnant at the time, I mistook the tears for the raging hormones of pregnancy.

Recovery from Bullying:

Mourning the years I could never get back.

However, I realize now that the crying was a sign I hadn’t recovered yet.

Though I loved my new school and all the people there, I regretted not being able to transfer earlier. I was grieving the loss of so many years. And these were years that I could never get back.

My then-husband worked a twelve-hour graveyard shift. Therefore, I spent most nights at home alone. In the afternoons, he would be asleep when I’d come in from school.

So, I had plenty of time to grieve.

Flashbacks.

During those first weeks away from the bullying, I also suffered flashbacks. And they would come automatically and without warning.

I had flashbacks of my old bullies shoving me to the floor, brutally beating me up, and yelling and cursing me out. At night I’d have nightmares.

I would dream that I was swimming in a lake and enjoying the water. Suddenly a terrible feeling would sweep over me and I’d stop and look around.

I would see my classmates from Oakley High and they were also in the water. They surrounded me. Afterwards, one of them would push my head underwater.

I’d fight like hell to come back up for air. However, as soon as I’d get my head above water and gasp for breath, they’d shove me back under again.

Once more, I’d have to hold my breath and fight with my arms flailing in the water. I tried so hard to get away from them.

Recovery from Bullying:

Bad Dreams.

Finally, I couldn’t hold my breath any longer. And I wasn’t strong enough to fight them off. Therefore, I had no other choice but to give up the fight to live.

Just as I inhaled and felt the searing burn of water fill my lungs, I’d wake up with a jolt. I had this same dream almost every night.

Also, I remember having another dream where one of my old bullies hunted me down and shot me. I’d wake up in the middle of the night, so frightened I couldn’t move a muscle.

I’d only lay there, trembling in the darkness.

A range of emotions.

During my first month out, I also dealt with a lot of sadness and anger. Luckily, it didn’t show. Roseburg High was my happy place. And while I was there during the day, I didn’t have those emotions, nor did I have any flashbacks.

The sadness, anger, flashbacks, and dreams only happened when I was home alone or sleeping.  I wanted so badly to forget about Oakley and live in the present.

During that month, I also felt a degree of shame. However, I soon realized that the shame wasn’t mine to bear. But I couldn’t understand what was happening to me.

I would often think to myself,

“What’s wrong with me? I’m out of that hellhole now! I should be happy! And I am. But why do I keep having these episodes of crying and feeling angry any time I’m alone?”

When I felt angry, I wasn’t mad at my former classmates. I was angry at myself for allowing them to tear me down the way that they did.

I felt like a battered wife who’d just left her abusive husband! Recovery from bullying isn’t easy. In fact, it’s tough. And it takes a lot of work!

Recovery from Bullying:

Getting over the trauma of bullying.

I was fortunate, though. It didn’t take long for the raw emotions to subside. The flashbacks, and the nightmares slowly went away too.

Finally, I could begin focusing on making great memories with my Roseburg classmates. During the first month, I had allowed myself to feel and to cry.

I talked to a few of my most trusted family and friends.

Moreover, I realized that I wasn’t wrong to have those emotions. They were signs that something was terribly wrong in my previous environment.

I also began to understand that I wasn’t what was wrong. I’m thankful that I didn’t bury those emotions like so many survivors of bullying do.

Also, I concluded that what I experienced was the release of emotions that had, for a long time, been suppressed.

Releasing suppressed emotions.

They were emotions that I wasn’t allowed to have in the old environment. In fact, I was afraid to show them, even feel them, because I knew they’d see right through me.

Then, they would punish me with more bullying. The only alternative I had was to keep those emotions buried deep.

And although my parents had been well-meaning, there were times that neither of them could handle the intense crying.

Therefore, only after I got out of there did they begin to pour forth.

Recovery from bullying:

A roller coaster ride.

After a month of riding that roller coaster, everything finally subsided. I felt like a new person!

I didn’t get any therapy, although I should have.  Besides, I was young, newly married, and expecting my first child. Therefore, everything was changing so fast I could barely keep up.

So, I worked through it on my own. As I mentioned earlier, recovery takes hard work.

I had the help of a new and nourishing environment, a few trusted people, and new friends. Therefore, I was able to get through the horrible after-effects of bullying and peer abuse.

I began to set goals to learn about computers. Also, I made Honor Roll at my new school. As my grades skyrocketed and I achieved those goals. And my confidence shot through the roof!

Most survivors aren’t as fortunate.

Sadly, most survivors of bullying aren’t as lucky as I was. Many take years to even get through the grief.

Bullying stays with you. For some, the trauma can last a lifetime.

Graduation and after.

Graduation was bittersweet. I was happy to finally graduate high school. However, I was also sad. Why? Because I would miss my classmates and teachers from Roseburg High.

It all ended too soon.

My first five years post-graduation was full of ups and downs. I struggled with bouts of depression and didn’t know why. I was on the roller coaster again and desperately wanted to get off but didn’t know how.

Having babies and being a post-partum new mother only doubled the depression that was already there.

As the years wore on, I lived, and I worked. I was a mother of two small children but only going through the motions and surviving. In fact, I was only existing. It felt as if I was living on autopilot. But then, something amazing happened!

Recovery from Bullying:

The Article that Changed My Life.

In 1995, I came across a magazine article while on my lunch break at work. The article was about a kid severely bullied by his class.

Like me, his bullies had tormented him so horrifically that he thought about suicide. However, he too had eventually transferred to another school.

And his life changed for the better. He, too, had made a complete turnaround. Finally, he got the chance to experience the friends, fun, and excitement that high school was supposed to be.

Reading this article was a turning point for me. In fact, finding it was one of the best things that happened to me!

This article answered so many questions. Moreover, it confirmed that none of the abuse I’d suffered at my classmates’ hands was my fault.

The piece was also validation that there was never anything wrong with me. It only cemented the truth I’d always known deep down inside. That I wasn’t to blame for their abuse!

My classmates were the perpetrators. They had the issues. And they had held me responsible for problems that were theirs, not mine.

With this confirmation came my empowerment!

During those years, many people, including a few well-meaning family members, had often told me that the bullying I suffered was all in my imagination. Also, they’d tell me that it wasn’t as bad as I made it out to be.

Many more had said to me that I brought it all on myself. However, deep down, I knew better. There were times, I may have doubted it, but I held on to the truth.

In my heart, I had known the truth years before I read this piece and held on to it. Maybe this personal knowledge was why I resisted my bullies and fought back, even if it meant getting hurt.

And maybe it was why I suffered so many physical assaults. Nevertheless, I needed confirmation – a second opinion of sorts. And that magazine article was exactly what I needed.

At that moment, everything fit together like a perfect puzzle! I cannot express the relief I felt. It was as if it had lifted an enormous weight off my shoulders. My heart began to soar!

Recovery from Bullying:

Bullying is Abuse.

For the first time, I saw the bullying for what it was. Abuse!

I thirsted for even more knowledge of bullying and the human predator/prey dynamic. From that day forward, I read everything I could get my hands on.

I devoured magazine articles, essays, books, online articles, everything that pertained to bullying and peer abuse.

There were so many unanswered questions.

  • “What was it about me that made me a target?”
  • “How had my bullies been allowed to get away with their brutality?”
  • “What was it about my bullies that made them so charming and good to everyone else?”
  • “What were the ingredients to their charm and allure?”
  • “Where had their intense hate and mean-spiritedness come from? What had precipitated it?”
  • “Had they too been abused, or were they just spoiled, coddled egomaniacs infected with schadenfreude?”

So many questions haunted me and increased my curiosity. Therefore, I continued digging for information, like a police detective eager to solve a case.

Recovery from Bullying:

Tim Field

During the late nineties, I came across Tim Field’s BullyOnline.org and hungrily read every one of his articles. The website was massive, and it took a while to read.

I went through it with a fine-toothed comb. If I had questions, I emailed Tim, and he would always reply in a timely and courteous manner.

Sadly, Mr. Field is no longer with us. He passed away from cancer years ago.

It’s been almost thirty years since I found the article that changed my life. And I cannot tell you how many sources of information I’ve poured through.

Moreover, I can’t measure the truckloads of knowledge I’ve attained. Nor can I tell you how much the knowledge has empowered me.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Between experience and almost three decades of reading and research, I’ve gained insights that have given me a whole new perspective of bullies and bullying.

That article back in 1995 set me on a path to greater knowledge. Moreover, it gave me a passion for helping other bullying victims through writing and advocacy.

I’ve found what I love to do, and it is so rewarding!

I thank God for placing that article in front of me that day at work. Otherwise, I might still be wandering in the dark and trying to find my way.

That magazine article truly changed my outlook on the bullying I suffered. I no longer see it as something that ruined my life. No.

Recovery from Bullying:

My life’s work.

I see the bullying as an event that gave me a fiery passion for using my experiences to help those who endure bullying today. It showed me my life’s work. And, through that, it gave me peace and happiness.

Therefore, I do not hate my bullies. And I don’t need to take revenge. Turning abuse around to the benefit of others is how I turn my pain into power!

And that’s the best revenge you can ever take!

If you’re a victim of bullying, know this. What’s happening to you is wrong and it isn’t your fault. You never asked to be brutalized. You do matter, and you are enough!

More importantly, you can turn your pain into your passion. You can also turn your pain into power! And this is how you overcome bullying.

This is what this entire website is about, overcoming bullying.

This post is all about my own recovery from bullying so that you’ll have the encouragement you need to stay strong. Moreover, it’ll give you hope for a brighter future!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. Bullying and Psychological Effects: 10 Emotions Victims Feel

4. Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

loving yourself first is not selfish

Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well

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Do you want to know the true meaning of loving yourself first and the positive changes that come with it? Here are the mind-blowing advantages you gain when you treat yourself right.

loving yourself first

When you endure relentless bullying seemingly from every direction, loving yourself and putting yourself first can be difficult. Moreover, it’s too easy to buy into the lies of bullies and turn against yourself when people hurl insults and negative comments at you daily.

This is why you must embrace yourself even when it seems that no one else does.

In this post, you will learn about loving yourself first and ways to play mind games with yourself when you feel your self-esteem beginning to slip.

After you learn all these important tips, you will be more resistant to any negativity bullies kick your way. Here are things you can do to continue loving yourself first that are powerful and that work!

Loving yourself first

What does loving yourself first mean? It means loving yourself second to only God. It means continuing to treat yourself well in spite of the way people at work, school, the community, and even a few evil family members treat you.

Also, it means not giving respect to anyone who hasn’t earned it from you. Moreover, it means protecting your heart, your peace, and your space by establishing boundaries.

However, when you are a target of bullying, this can be very difficult when it seems that the only thing you hear from others is negativity. Constantly being bombarded with ugly names, cruel taunts, and attacks tends to accumulate over time.

 As a result, it can have a devastating effect on your self-esteem. In other words, if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that mean-spirited others tell you.

Therefore, no matter how viciously others may treat you, you must do everything possible to hold on to self-love! You must do this even if you have to look at yourself in the mirror every day and make positive affirmations.

“I AM an awesome person.”
>“I AM beautiful.”
>“I AM worthy of being loved.”

You must maintain your self-esteem and never let anyone brainwash you into thinking that you are less than.

How you go about loving yourself first

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can. Moreover, you must command respect from others, including a few family members you love dearly, and be willing to make some tough decisions to receive that love and respect.

Sometimes, you must be willing to walk away, knowing full well that there is always a chance that the person may never see your worth. This means coming to a place where you no longer care the slightest about the outcome.

Also, you go about it by showing yourself compassion and practicing self-care.

Yes. There is a strong chance that your value will go up in people’s eyes, and they may eventually see your worth. There’s also a chance that they may come to respect you and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take a few years, but it can happen.

However, there’s also chance that these family members may not see your worth and continue to treat you badly. Therefore, be okay with it and be ready to cut these people out of your life. That’s what self-love is about.

To protect yourself from those who refuse to see your worth, don’t only walk away, but do it without guilt.

If, by chance, people don’t change toward you, realize that you did not turn your back on them because you did not care about them. You did it because they did not love you enough to treat you with the respect that you know you deserve.

Therefore, ever look outside of yourself for acceptance and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

Loving yourself first means loving everything that is you.

It means embracing every single part of yourself that you can do nothing about. What it doesn’t mean is accepting some things about yourself and either hating or being ashamed of other parts. In other words, it means accepting yourself completely– your entire self and all that you are- your whole being.

Therefore, whether you’re rich, poor, or middle-class, embrace it. It’s a part of who you are. Whether you’re Black, White, Hispanic, Jewish, or any other race, never be ashamed of it! Embrace it because it too is a part of you.

Whether you have brown eyes, blue eyes or green; dark, red, or blonde hair; dark or light skin- love those things. Those are also what makes you you.

Moreover, love your nationality, your country, your state, community, and neighborhood because they too make up the person that is you. Whether you are American or Japanese, British, or Indian, take pride in those things about you.

Take pride in and love yourself, no matter your heritage!

Accept your past and be okay with it.

If you grew up poor and made it out, don’t be ashamed. Be proud of it because it’s a testament to how far you’ve come. Also, if you grew up in an abusive household, own that too because it’s proof that you survived and overcame.

The same goes if you were once a person with a drug or alcohol addiction but now sober. Be not ashamed of those things, for those are things you’ve triumphed over. Moreover, if you have a past of crime and imprisonment and have turned your life around, see it as evidence of how you’ve matured and use it to teach others.

Love yourself no matter your weight, height, or whether you have freckles, glasses, or braces. they too are the building blocks of you. If you’d like to change them and can change them, by all means, do it.

Loving yourself first means changing what you can change and accepting what you can’t change about yourself.

Lose weight if you want to or get contacts if you don’t like your eyeglasses. Moreover, it’s okay to look forward to beautiful teeth once those braces come off. Know that there’s nothing wrong with wanting to become what you feel would be a better version of yourself.

However, love the things you can’t change about yourself. Embrace yourself. Even better, celebrate yourself. Know that each of us is perfectly made, flaws and all!

Know that how you look, your past, your weight, height; eye, hair, and skin color; race, nationality, creed, upbringing, orientation, religion, values- each are the building blocks that make up the whole you.

The only thing that matters is your character and how you treat yourself and others.

Therefore, if you know in your heart that you are a good person and have so much to offer others. But that includes yourself too.

Remember that when it all comes down, no person is better than another. See yourself as neither superior nor inferior, but just as good as the next person. You are you and you love it!

Therefore, love and accept yourself. Believe in yourself. Moreover, take care of yourself and know your value and your worth. Know that you are worthy of the best life has to offer!

7 benefits you reap from loving yourself first:

1. You attract better people into your life.

You don’t attract what you want. No. You attract what you are. In other words, if you’re a negative person, you’ll only attract others who are negative. Just the same, if you don’t love yourself, you only attract others with the same condition.

However, once you begin valuing yourself, you’ll soon attract others who not only value themselves, but will value you as well.

Why? Because the energy you put out will change to the positive and people will pick up on it by sensing it. Therefore, you’ll begin attracting people into your life who will want to be around you and become friends.

You will most likely find true friends who love you for you.

2. You attract better circumstances into your life.

Blessings begin to flow into your life because of this change in attitude. When you love yourself, you believe you deserve better and better is what you’ll get. It’s just the way things work.

Your circumstances will match your disposition.

3. Your relationships improve.

Loving yourself first means that you have enough love to give others. Also, you give it more properly. Naturally, this improves your relationships exponentially because most people love those who love them.

4. Loving yourself first will skyrocket your confidence and self-esteem.

When you love yourself, it’s only natural that you also raise self-esteem and became more confident. Self-love is the battery that powers the confidence/self-esteem machine.

5. You’re healthier.

You have better health because you love yourself enough to eat right, exercise, and get plenty of sleep at night.

6. Your motivation increases.

You’re more motivated to pursue your interests and work on your goals when you have self-love.

7. You’re more productive.

As a result of increased motivation,  you bring more success and achievement into your life. This is why you accomplish so much more with self-love.

So, don’t you think it’s time you begin giving yourself the self-care you deserve? Self-love also means respecting yourself. Know that you’re worth it. And the benefits of it will amaze you! I promise!

this post was all about loving yourself first and the benefits that follow.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

2. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

3. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well