Here is bullying explained. Bullying is nuanced. Therefore, the mechanics are complex for most people to understand. Here are a few fun facts you need to know.
Bullying is very complicated and nuanced. It’s why it can be confusing to know how to address it. Therefore, this post is bullying explained in the simplest terms. It is written to address any confusion you may have.
Once you understand it, you will be able to recognize it for what it is and address it appropriately.
This post is bullying explained so that you can better understand it and feel more confident knowing it isn’t about you.
Bullying Explained
To explain bullying. We must understand all the universal facts about it so we can address it more effectively. So, what are the universal facts about bullying?
1. Bullying is patterned and predictable
This is great news for targets, and here’s why.
Because it’s proof that it really isn’t about you at all, you see? The tactics used have been weaponized against millions of others throughout history.
Additionally, once you identify the pattern, it becomes harder for others to bully you. You can also predict, with high accuracy, what your bullies will do next in almost any scenario.
For example, you instinctively know that reporting bullying may escalate it. You’ll also be able to recognize when it becomes a pattern.
As a result, you’ll begin saving any evidence of it. You will save incendiary emails, messages, and texts. Also, you’ll take screenshots of bullies’ comments on social media and begin documenting incidents in detail.
You will quietly gather your evidence and ensure you save everything. Then, you will make multiple copies on multiple flash drives and store each copy in a different location.
Depending on the laws in your area, you may be able to begin wearing discreet body cameras. Or you’ll keep a digital audio recorder to document bullying incidents and make copies of those recordings.
Bullying Explained:
When you know what’s next, you may be about to block an attack before it happens.
You’ll be able to stay one step ahead of your bullies by taking pictures of all completed work. You will make copies of important papers and receipts to keep in your CYA file at work or school.
You can even make copies of your homework. And you’ll do it in case your bullies steal it to sabotage you and get you in trouble with teachers.
Again, bullying behavior and tactics are patterned and predictable. And the reason they are so is that they are both universal and timeless.
Therefore, their behavior and tactics are nothing new. It’s the same worn-out crap that has been used since the beginning of time. And the reason we haven’t wised up to it is that we’ve ignored it.
A problem ignored is a problem that goes unsolved.
When you ignore or overlook something, you don’t pay attention to it. Therefore, you aren’t observant of it. Unfortunately, you’ll miss key tactics and behaviors you need to protect yourself.
To observe a pattern of bullying, you must watch bullies closely without appearing to do so. Sadly, many haven’t considered it important enough.
And the reason they haven’t taken it seriously is that, for centuries, they considered it a regular part of human behavior.
Moreover, society assumed that it happened to everyone and that it built character. Yes, bullying is a dark part of human behavior, but so is murder. Yet we don’t overlook murder.
The best way to address it is to not only build victims’ confidence. We must also teach them to recognize when standard teasing morphs into bullying.
We must also teach them how to quietly expose it and call it out when it happens to them.
2. Bullying explained:
It’s not about you, it’s about the bully.
Anytime you are the object of a bully’s hostility, it really isn’t about you. It’s about them. Here are things bullies tell their targets and the real meaning behind them.
You’re fat! You’re ugly! Or You’re weird, nerdy, etc.
What is the meaning behind it? It depends on the circumstances. If the target is heavier, the bully is only pointing it out to make themselves feel better.
What the bully is really saying is, “I have flaws that I’m afraid are worse and more noticeable than yours. So, I’m going to point out your flaws to distract everyone’s attention from my own.”
“You snitched on me! Now You’re Going to Pay!”
Here’s what the bully is actually saying.
“You exposed me and got me into trouble! You made me look like the bully that I really am! And you outed my true personality and humiliated me! So, I’m going to get back at you for it!”
Bullying explained:
“You think you’re so smart, cute, cool, pretty,” etc.
Here’s the meaning behind it.
“Your good qualities overshadow mine! I’m living in your shadow! Your talents and natural gifts are better than mine, and you’re getting more attention than I am! You make me feel inferior! So I’m going to put you in your place by crushing your self-worth! I’m going to convince you that you’re not that important! And I’ll make you too afraid to show your good qualities! Then I can shine!”
“You make me want to…”
Anytime someone mistreats you and says that you make them do it, they’re only telling you,
“ I’m afraid of being unmasked and being held responsible for my horrid behavior. So I’ve got to blame you so I can be let off the hook and leave you holding the bag! If I can make you look like the bully, I can keep on screwing with you anytime I want. Why? Because no one will believe you if you snitch on me again!”
“Nobody Likes You!”
What the bully is really saying:
“Nobody likes me either. They only pretend to. So I’m going to make you think nobody wants you to crush your confidence! Then hopefully, you’ll withdraw from people and self-sabotage your own relationships!”
“Bullying Explained:
I don’t like you!” or “I hate you!”
Here’s what the bully is really saying:
“You make me feel inferior! You intimidate me! And you outshine me in some way! You have what I want and can never have! So, I’m going to hoodwink you into believing you did something to cause me to hate you. And, hopefully, I’ll ruin your self-esteem!”
Bullies have big egos. It always goes back to them. They’re all about “Me,” “Myself,” and “I.”
3. You aren’t the first, and you won’t be the last.
To fulfill their quest for power and to dull their insecurities. Those who are best at getting away with it didn’t get that way overnight. No.
They learned through trial and error. They’ve figured out what works and what doesn’t. And every time they screwed up and got caught, they never learned their lesson. They only got sneakier and learned what not to do with their next victim.
Therefore, with each new victim, they got a little sneakier. In that, they get a little better at covering their behinds. They get smarter until they finally become undetectable to anyone outside the power dynamic.</p>
Bullying Explained:
This is how they became experts!
Understand that these bullies have left a long trail of ruined lives behind them. Moreover, they’ve left many broken or angry people in their wake. Only they’ll never tell you about that.
That said, there were many before you, and there will be many more after you. You aren’t alone, and you’re not the only one they’ve bullied.
I’ve said it once, and it bears repeating: If possible, you must find out who their past victims are. Then you need to build relationships with and align yourself with them. You would be surprised by what you find.
You may gain valuable insights into their lives. What you discover about them can be used as a powerful weapon! Always remember that!
4. Bullying is designed to make the bully look cool.
Know that it isn’t about you. It’s never about the victim. It’s always about the bully. Bullies bully to make themselves look big and tough.
You see, if they can look cool by being cruel. They’ll do it. Bullies have an image to maintain.
5. BULLYING is a zero-sum game.
For some, it is a means to climb the social ladder. But for them to rise, you must fall.</p>
The bullies have all the power, and you have none. Bullies believe that for them to attain happiness, you mustn’t have it. For them to have joy, you must suffer. It’s an unhealthy balance not only for you but also for them.
In Conclusion
Know that your true power resides within you. It’s something nobody can take away from you unless you allow them to.
And your power comes from recognizing that their behavior isn’t about you. Also, it comes from finally realizing you don’t have to tolerate toxic people.
Tap into that power, and you’ll be able to tip the scales and restore balance to power. Even better, you’ll find peace and confidence you never thought possible.
This post was bullying explained so that you won’t blame yourself. Instead, you’ll put the blame where it belongs and take back your power and YOUR life.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Bullying: What Is It? And What are the 10 Types of It?
2. Definition of Bullying: Is the Person a Bully or just an Asshole?