how to stop being bullied as an adult

How to Stop Being Bullied: 14 Tips to Make Yourself Less a Target

‘Want to know how to stop being bullied? Here are all the tips you can use to make yourself less a target.

how to stop being bullied

Millions of people are bullied at school, work, and in the home every day. And the sad thing is that they don’t know how to stop it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to stop being bullied and reclaim your peace and power.

Once you learn all these important tips, you will finally get the respect you deserve. And you will live in peace.

This post is all about how to stop being bullied and finally live a peaceful life.

How to Stop Being Bullied

The bullying you suffer isn’t your fault. There’s nothing wrong with you. And you didn’t do anything to bring it on yourself.

So, if you feel the title of this post has undertones of victim-blaming, it doesn’t. Please be assured that I’m not blaming you.

However, what it does say is that you’re not entirely powerless, which is excellent news! There are ways you can reduce bullying and become more charismatic.

Here are 15 tips to make yourself less OF a target.

Here’s what you can do.

1. Practice confident body language.

Stand up straight. Good posture is a staple of confidence. It shows that you feel great about yourself, and that others will notice and treat you much better.

Look people in the eyes and smile. When you smile, smile with your eyes and your whole face, not only with your mouth. Why?

Because when you smile with only your mouth, it looks fake. And fake smiles only drive others away.

On the other hand, a genuine smile reaches the eyes, forming crinkles around the outer corners. This kind of smile attracts people. Moreover, it makes you much more approachable.

How to Stop Being BULLIED:

How to look confident when bullies approach.

When bullies come around, it’s important not to smile at them. Why? Because they’ll see it as a weakness. Therefore, the best way to look confident around them is to have open body language.

Power poses work best. Therefore, stand with feet shoulder-width apart and arms akimbo. The trick is to expose your chest and belly. This lets them know that you aren’t afraid of them.

2. Don’t be afraid to speak out.

When you’re being bullied, the last thing you should do is stay quiet about it. Remember that bullying thrives in secret. Your silence only gives it permission to flourish.

Therefore, you must speak up.

Bullies may gaslight you to shut you up. However, continue to speak up about it. Why? Because if you don’t, it will only get worse.

3. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Stand up to bullies.

Remember that you have the right to live in peace like everyone else. Therefore, you have the right to defend yourself when some creep attacks you.

If bullies verbally abuse you, come back with a good burn. If they physically assault you, hit them back. Why? Because bullies don’t respond to politeness, because, to them, it’s weakness.

There is no nice way to handle bullying. Bullies only respond to strength. And they respond to consequences.

4. Be yourself.

There’s no point in trying to be someone you aren’t. Being fake only makes bullying worse. Why? Because when you get a reputation for being a poser, others will stop taking you seriously. You will become a lightning rod for ridicule.

Also, being yourself means that you’re okay with being disliked. And it automatically weeds out the fake friends. Therefore, be authentic.

5. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Practice modesty.

Some victims of bullying will incessantly talk themselves up. And I understand why they do this. When people are always putting you down, your first instinct may be to build yourself back up.

You may do it to make yourself feel better and soothe your battered self-esteem. However, be careful. Doing this can make you a bigger victim.

Never talk about yourself too much. And don’t try to bring too much attention to what you do. Nobody likes a braggart. And the more you talk about what you’re doing, the more suspicious others will be.

Even worse, you’ll become a victim of backstabbers. Most people tend to become jealous! Therefore, it isn’t wise to toot your own horn.

Be modest. Make it about others, not yourself. And keep your plans and ambitions to yourself to avoid being sabotaged.

6. Be nonchalant.

Make everything you do look effortless. Being nonchalant protects you from conflict, criticism, and embarrassment.

Also, you don’t look like a try-hard.

7. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Don’t pour on the flattery.

Sometimes, victims of bullying will use excessive flattery to get in their bullies’ good graces. This never works.

You may do it to trick your bullies into leaving you alone. However, it will only backfire. Too much flattery makes you look like a suck-up. And no one likes a kiss-butt.

Others may think you’re running a con game. You’ll only piss them off. So, reserve your compliments for people who deserve them. And, for the love of Pete, don’t attempt to flatter the wrong people!

8. Get noticed.

But don’t overdo it by being flashy or flamboyant. Sadly, victims of bullying will do anything to make others see them. I can understand because no one wants to be made invisible.

However, being gaudy will only attract the wrong kinds of attention. It will make you a bigger target. And the last thing you need is to draw even more negative attention to yourself.

The best thing is to subtly create a style all your own.

9. Adapt yourself to the people you’re around.

But never too much. Keep your own style so you don’t come off as a copycat. When you’re a victim of bullying, you don’t want others to label you a fake.

10. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Bring good news.

Keep any bad news to a minimum. Why? Because people will shoot the messenger of negativity. And if you’re a target of bullying, people already associate you with enough negativity.

So, why not shock a few people by bringing positivity?

11. Never criticize.

Especially the wrong people. Being critical of others can make you seem like a drama queen. Moreover, it can escalate the bullying.

Doing the above things may not stop bullying entirely. But it can dial it down a notch or two. And the less of a target you are, the better!

12. Stop caring what people think.

When you care too much about what others think, you become a slave. In other words, the person whose opinions you place too much value on owns you.

But when you stop caring, you free yourself. You’ll no longer bend over backward to prove your worth. You’ll have the guts to say no when you need to. And you’ll stop doing things you don’t want to do.

Moreover, you’ll hold onto your beliefs and convictions. And you won’t sacrifice your time, your resources, and yourself for people who don’t deserve it.

Therefore, people stop taking you for granted. Why? Because they respect you more. And why not? You no longer accept crappy behavior for the sake of approval. And you attract better people into your life.

Therefore, don’t ever need someone else more than they need you. This is extremely important! There’s more on that HERE.

13. How to Stop Being Bullied:

Befriend other victims.

Because bullies bully you, you have something in common with all the other victims. Therefore, use this to make them your friends and allies.

Bullies usually run in packs. And they come after the lone wolf. Why? Because there is strength in numbers.

Therefore, increase your numbers by making friends with those they bully. You won’t regret it. I promise!

14. Take pride in yourself and in your appearance.

When a person is a target of bullies, it’s too easy for that person to stop caring about everything. This includes their appearance.

The reason is that when someone has been told for so long that they aren’t good enough, they begin to believe it, too.

They won’t even know it’s happening until it’s too late. And the contrary belief of themselves has already taken a foothold in their psyche.

And when they believe something of themselves, whether it’s a lie, they will live up to it.

Understand that this change happens slowly. And before you realize it, you will begin to neglect yourself. They neglect their appearance, their housework, even their health!

  • You may isolate yourself and become a shut-in.
  • Maybe you’ll stop exercising and forego physical check-ups.
  • Or you withdraw from people and social gatherings.

In short, you let yourself go!

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, it’s more important that you take care of yourself.

How to Stop Being Bullied:

In Closing

Bully-proofing yourself is about signalling confidence. It’s also about signalling power. The above tips will have you feeling more powerful than you ever thought.

Therefore, this is how you convey strength instead of weakness. You can do it! I believe in you!

This post is all about how to stop being bullied so that you can improve your life and take back your confidence and your power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. When You Need Someone More Than They Need You: 8 Ways to Tip the Scales of Power! 

2. How to Avoid Being Gaslighted: 5 Easy Tips to Protect Yourself

3. Flattery vs Compliment: 7 Signs Bullies are Buttering You Up

4. How to Make Friends when Everyone Hates You: 4 Tips and Tricks

5. Body Shaming is Bullying: How to be Confident with Appearance

that bullied vibe you put out

That Bullied Vibe: How Not to Attract More Bullies

Have you ever heard of that bullied vibe that victims of bullying give off that attracts more bullies and other human predators? Here’s everything that you need to know about it.

that bullied vibe

After bullies have targeted them for so long, some victims will give off certain micro-expressions of victimhood. And they will attract new bullies once the old ones leave their lives.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about that bullied vibe, what it is, and how you can avoid giving it off.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to exude confidence instead of low self-esteem once you leave a bullying environment. Moreover, you won’t have any trouble with bullies.

This post is all about that bullied vibe, so that you know what it is and how to keep history from repeating itself.

That Bullied Vibe

What is it? It’s low energy that comes from low self-esteem, lack of confidence, and lack of self-belief. For instance, a person who gives off these kinds of vibes may exhibit specific non-verbal cues that scream, “Weak! Submissive! Vulnerable!”.

These cues include lack of eye contact, slouching, looking down, and appearing nervous. They can also include people-pleasing, neediness, approval-seeking, and desperation for friends or dating partners.

For instance, your bullies have bullied you for years. Moreover, they’ve managed to turn everyone against you, and your friends only side with your bullies.

Losing friends has become the norm for you. And because you suffer deprivation of human friendships, you’ve lost your sense of belonging.

Because the bullying has crushed your self-esteem, you begin slouching when you stand and avoid eye contact with people. You also feel nervous in social situations, and it shows!

After you’ve suffered this deprivation for so long, you become desperate for even the tiniest crumb of connection. So, you become needy. You begin exhibiting approval-seeking behaviors to try to win friends. Only the outcome is the opposite. You only attract more bullying.

In doing all this, you signal to everyone around you that you are a victim. In other words, you give off that bullied vibe.

That Bullied Vibe:

Neediness always invites abuse.

Understand that when bullies target you, they beat you down. They leave you sad, lonely, and worst of all, desperate!

Realize that evil always attaches itself to the weak and most vulnerable. People smell desperation from a mile away.

Therefore, if you give off even the tiniest scent of weakness, you will repel those who are emotionally healthy. In contrast, you will attract only the lowlifes who mean to use and abuse you.

Predators love to catch you when you’re most vulnerable. When bullies make you powerless, you will attract fake friends.

And they’ll only use you until they get all they can out of you. Many will pretend to be friends so that they can get close enough to you to hurt you.

They may use you for money or material things. Or they may use you for social benefits. Also, they may feign friendship to dominate you.

Whatever it is, know that they aren’t here for your benefit; they’re here for theirs.

Bullies have a refined ability to sense weakness.

In fact, they have an internal radar for it. They can see vulnerability as plain as day.  In other words, they can tell if you’re confident in your ability to defend yourself. And they know whether they can wield power over someone.

People who have been abused often have learned helplessness. Bullies instantly pick up on this. Why? Because they are always on the hunt for easy prey. And a person who has the power to make their lives unpleasant is not easy prey.

It’s why they only target certain people and not others. Bullies are less likely to target a confident person than they are to select someone who isn’t confident.

That Bullied Vibe:

How and When does it start?

Sometimes, it starts somewhere during early childhood. Maybe your initial self-value and self-love were compromised by abuse. Perhaps you had parents who were overly aggressive with discipline.

It could be that you had older siblings who terrorized you. Maybe they made you believe that your feelings didn’t count.

Or you were born different. Maybe you have autism, and people have treated you like a disease.

Whatever the case may be, it broke your spirit. They conditioned you, and subconsciously, you started believing that you were defective – that you were inferior to others.

However, if nothing else, understand this. All false beliefs are created through traumatic experiences. They also stem from societal conditioning.

And, as time passes, those beliefs fester until they begin attracting experiences of bullying. This is why you must learn to recognize the connection between bullying and the unconscious beliefs you adopted earlier in your life.

The longer you don’t, the more bullying experiences you will have, and the more they will reinforce those false beliefs that you aren’t good enough. Moreover, the more victimized you will feel.

As a result, you will become more reclusive, more avoidant, and more unsure of yourself and others.

Never let them break your spirit!

Your spirit breaks the moment you accept other people’s definition of you. When you take your bullies’ judgements as truth, they win.

I know this is always easy to do. When you’re a small child, you can’t see the hidden motives of abusers. Therefore, when your frustrated mother lashes out at you, or your drug-addicted father abuses you, or an insecure older sibling teases you, their words penetrate your spirit.

As a result, they become a part of your inner dialogue. Why? Because the people who force-feed you this garbage are supposed to love you. Right?

“They’re probably saying these things for my own good. They know what’s best for me. So, I must have screwed up somewhere. I must have done something to cause these people so much frustration.”

That Bullied Vibe:

Toxic Beliefs don’t just HAPPEN. Others plant them in your mind.

 And there you have it. That’s what your bullies sense. They sense your belief that you are defective and that you are not good enough.

And the sad thing is that these beliefs are subconscious. Therefore, they’re more difficult to tackle. If you’re a victim, oftentimes, you become frustrated because you don’t understand why history keeps repeating itself.

You’re at a loss as to why the same shit has happened to you over and over again throughout your entire life.

But here’s what is happening here. 

You have very low self-esteem. And, because of this, you wear an invisible “kick-me sign”. Others may not see it, but they can sense it.

They can tell when you have a deeply buried fear of rejection. Also, you may be co-dependent. You likely don’t have any opinions, ideas, or principles of your own. Therefore, you constantly look to others for advice.

And this probably gets on people’s nerves, so you drive good people away. Others may lash out at you.

However, you must realize that these are only self-fulfilling prophesies.

How to Get Rid of That bullied Vibe and avoid attracting more bullies.

The trick is to dig deep down inside of yourself. Recall the memories of judgment that people instilled in you early in life. Also, remember that they conditioned you to think the thoughts that bring bullying about.

Then, re-frame those judgements as wrong. Moreover, start replacing your self-judgements with compassion and love for yourself.  Do this with the love you would feel for a wounded child.

And most importantly, be patient because the change won’t happen overnight. Life will do everything it can to reinforce the negatives each day. So, you will need to do a lot of work to go against it.

When self-diminishing thoughts try to creep in, you must catch them and reverse them. You must replace them with thoughts of self-love.

You will need patience.

Again, it will be a slow process. However, if you remain focused and continue the work, you will eventually repair the damage your abusers did to your spirit. And the curse will finally be broken.

And here’s another solution. If your bullies are still in your life, cut them out of it. Also, find your purpose. Set goals and achieve them. Create your own power.

Your bullies may still try to bully you. But they will back down quicker if you defend yourself and carry yourself with confidence. You don’t have to be tall, muscular, or good-looking. Just use what you have.

What are your talents and gifts? What are your superpowers? And what are your goals and dreams? We all have them, and they come in many forms. Get to know yourself. Accept yourself, love yourself, and be proud of who you are.

This post was all about that bullied vibe so that you can take steps to change your mindset and undo any self-defeating beliefs that took root from past bullying and abuse.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

3. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

4. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well