About Cherie:
She is an author, blogger, and speaker on bullying and ways to overcome it. She provides tips on ways victims can take control of their situations. Also, she provides mind hacks for victims to use to buffer their self-esteem and overall mental health against the onslaught of bullying.
Because she experienced severe bullying in middle and high school, she is an advocate for bullied youth and adults. Moreover, Cherie has a passion for spreading bullying awareness and teaching bullied people how to defend themselves against all kinds of bully, be it verbal, relational, or physical.
More About the author:
Cherie is married to John Michael White and is a mother of two and grandmother of four, living in Covington, TN. She loves God, time with family and close friends, travel, reading personal development, music, swimming, inner-tubing, camping, hiking, and skydiving.
Also, Cherie’s goals are to become a New York Times and International Bestseller. She also would like to become an international public speaker in the anti-bullying movement. But, most importantly, she wants to help bullied people win back their confidence, peace, and happiness.
“If I can help one, just one reader who deals with bullying realize their worth and know just how precious they are, then I know I’m doing right. Each of us, great and small, has a great purpose here and deserves to be treated with dignity. We each deserve the ability to flourish and achieve happiness and personal fulfillment. If I can help just one target heal, regain their confidence and go on to live a happy and productive life, then I know I’m fulfilling my most important goal with this website!”
Additionally, one thing we need to remember is that bullying is not a right of passage that everyone endures at some point in their lives. It is abuse… period! Not everyone suffers bullying. Another thing that we must always remember is that no one should blame the victim for the bullying they endure. And last and most important, victims (or targets) have every right to fight back in self-defense when bullies attack them. To tell them otherwise is to tell them to just take the abuse and that’s wrong.
Self-defense is a natural human response to danger and there’s no shame or blame in it.
Hey Cherie, sent you an email. Wanted to get your comments on something.
Gotcha! I’ll check my email real quick! Thanks!
Thank you. I look forward to your response. It is something I am curious about your views on.
Hey, Brenda. What time did you send the email and what are the first three letters of your email name? I want to keep your email private but I just need to know what to look for so it’ll jump.out at me. . I’m looking for it but I don’t see it. Maybe everything is running together with my eyesight reclining. Lol
Bsm, it is in my sent folder. I will resend it right now.
The original email was sent 8:40 last evening. I have sent another email to you.
I got it! And I sent you a response! Thank you for your questions. I hope the answers help. 🙂
Thank you I sent a followup question.
You have mail again. 😀
Awesome. Thank you so much! I have one more followup for you.
Sure. Go ahead and ask.
Just sent it thanks. It is important topic as I think about bullying, not bullying etc.
Excellent page , I loved it
Thank you so much, Aryon! This really means a lot. 🙂
Fantastic blog. Difficult subject and a lifeline for many. Well done. Support you from afar.
Steve
Thank you so much, Steve! This means a lot! 🙂
And here it is 8 months later and your blog is going stronger than ever. My hat comes off for you in appreciation. Steve
I’m so grateful for your kindness, Steve! Thank you! 😊
fascinating subject matter for a blog you got here.
Thank you so much, Matt! 🙂
Is it based on personal experience ?
Yes. I was bullied mercilessly for six long years. But I worked on myself and got my confidence back. Now I like to use what I went through to help others who go through the same. I’ve since published 4 books, which is something I didn’t think I’d ever succeed at during the years I was bullied. I’m forever grateful that God carried me through.
Nice. Yeah I was bullied for decades by my dad, but our relationship changed 6 months before he died. Had my share of bullying through the years as well.
My heart goes out to you. But I’m so glad the relationship between the two of you got better before it was too late. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Thanks, it’s all good. Sucks losing both parents, but at least I still have my brother (even though he’s a lite version of my Dad, I do seem to get along with him a lot better). I dig my wife’s family too.
I’m so glad you’re getting along a lot better. Wishing you much peace and happiness.
You have authored several books! Impressive. I hope you are successful.
Thank you so much. 🙂
I can deal with Hair metal but the crimson tide?? 😂
Hey there, thanks for the follow. I’ve been reading some of your posts for a while, so keep on blogging. Thanks for all the advice and positivity.
You’re very welcome, Rusty! And thank you so much! This means a lot! <3
Hello! Thank you very much for following The Monching’s Guide! 🙂
As someone who was bullied in grade school and high school, your posts definitely resonate with me. Looking forward to reading more of your entries!
Thank you so much, Monch! This.meabs a lot and also thank you for following and reading here as well. My heart breaks for anyone who was bullied amd my mission is to reach out and help them heal with my writings. Wishing you much happiness, peace, and love
Thank you for following well, hoping you are happy there. Welcome to meet you in London.
Best wishes
Thank you so much. When this pandemic is over that’s certainly a possibility. 😊
I see the vaccination helped us better than before , so we can see the stadiums are full of the football fans . Welcome at any time you like. and contact me on WhatsApp after you email me the number on an email.
Best wishes
Thank you so much. I don’t have a WhatsApp but if I get one, you’ll be the first person I contact. 😀
You are welcome anytime.
Best wishes
A very good bio.
Thank you bunches! <3
You are very welcome.
Always.
Thank you very much.
I just want to wish you a joyful and peaceful Christmas and a new year that will bring favor and fulfillment of God’s promises! I really appreciate your regular visit to my blog. Thank you!
You’re most welcome. 😊 Wishing you and yours too a very Merry Christmas and a blessed New Year! 🙌 🎉🎄
Hi Cherie ! You have got a nice blog ! I will go through your posts very soon! Thanks for following my site! Wish you a very happy happy & prosperous new year 2022! All the best 🌷🙏🏾
Thank you so much! This means a lot. <3 Please allow me to apologize for not seeing your comment until now. JetPack has a lousy habit of putting a few good comments in the Spam folder. I wish you also a very happy and prosperous new year. 🙂 <3
Hi Cherie,
Nice to meet you here and thank you for following my blog.
Thank you for sharing well and hoping you are happy there. Welcome to meet you in London.
Best wishes
You’re most welcome! And thank you so much for your invite! I’ve always wanted to visit London England and I pray that I get the chance to do so! It’s one of the places on my bucket list! 🙂 <3
You are welcome at anytime you like. I see you like visiting London and you will spend lovely time here.
Best wishes
I see that too! Thank you for the encouragement! 😀
Thank you so much for your interest to visit London.
I plan to visit USA for some businesses in the near future .
Awesome! We’d love to have you! Especially in the Southern USA, we love to cook and would feed you like family! 😀 <3
Thank you so much for your kindest invitation and I appreciate that so much.
I am invited to visit New York, Washington , California, Texas , Oklahoma and Florida. I told them I will think about and plan for those visits in the near future.
Just Email me on :
dr.fawzyblogs@yahoo.com
To contact you from time to time.
Kindest regards
Thank you so much! I sure will! 🕊
Take care
Best wishes
Dear Cherie,
I am a computer professional and worked in a hospital. There I worked together with a younger colleague who was obviously too ambitious and wanted to score plus points with the boss to make himself look better and to get my job role. So he did not fail to pay close attention to whether I made any mistake. If I did, he did not hesitate to report me to the boss. He was not even aware of what he was really doing (in front of himself and others). Nevertheless, I had good thoughts for him and did not pay him back in kind. Then he told me once that his notebook broke down and now he didn’t have enough money to buy a new one. I then told him that I had a notebook, fully functional, that I could give him. When I told him this, he was completely shocked at first. How could someone give him such a gift when he himself was constantly trying to badmouth him to the boss? He couldn’t cope with that at first. He accepted the gift (I did not give it to buy his favour, but I gave it to him because I had compassion for him). It took some time, then he changed for the better. We then became good colleagues. My point is that it is also important what our inner attitude is. If we think badly of others, it will have an effect in one way or another, but if we think well of others, it will certainly have a positive effect. Bullying can indeed drag down one’s psyche if one gets involved in this game, if it becomes a game of ping-pong or if one is unilaterally exposed to these naughties. It is possible to get each individual who is playing the role of bullying person to talk to you in private and carefully point out to that person their own immoral behaviour (all with loving words). Then it is also possible that this ice melts and these persons perceive their own weaknesses, because their attack on others only hides their own weaknesses….
Thank you for your patience in paying attention to this long text.
Hugs and love
Didi
Wow, Didi! I’m so proud of you for using kindness to turn a bullying situation around and become friends with your bully. You are to be admired for this! 😊🤗
Thank you, dear Cherie 🙂
Hugs and love 🙂
Didi
You’re most welcome. Hugs and love back! 😊🤗❤️
🤗❤️
Hello, Didi, I acted as you all of my life, trying to do all I could to help those around me that bullied myself and others, but it didn’t change anything at all, except for some to see me as a soft target, which in itself increased enormously the level of bullying, the whole thing became so serious for me – entertaining for them – that some even became bold enough to deliberately put my life at serious and immediate risk on site. I left that situation, only to be faced with the same kind of behaviour on another site some years later – it is great when you can change a person’s mind set, attitude to others, but it is rare – sadly, I know of far too many people who have taken their own lives because of bullying, and even after such a sad event, I had heard the cold and cruel comments made by others towards those who have taken their own life to escape the pain. I have turned the other cheek constantly, given help, support, encouragement, but there comes a time when bullying, harassment, either of myself or others, simply has to be stopped, for the sake of others, I will then do all I can to expose it, fully – I had one boss in tears because of the way he was being treated by staff and family, his brother had committed suicide, he too was treated very badly by some of the staff, people do their best to hide the pain, but when they can no-longer cope, their death often comes as a surprise, and people claim that they knew nothing of what they were going threw – that often isn’t true, not really, they knew, they just chose not to act .
Thank you so much, David. I’ve been in situations just like you just described and you are dead on right. And thank you for inspiring a future post.
Dear David,
As your words require more attention and time I ask you to give me a little more time to answer, dear friend. Have a little patience 🙂
All that is good for you.
Hugs and love
Didi
Dear David,
It is really good when we show kindness and compassion towards our fellow human beings. So too should our thoughts be in harmony with our actions. This means that if we are kind-minded, our thoughts should also be kind-minded. Often, however, there is a gap between the two: between thoughts and actions, and often we say something but think differently about it.
Finding a universal prescription for bullying is anything but easy and depends on the individual case. And if we take a look at the background, the whole thing becomes even more complicated by a few nuances. We have to ask ourselves why joy and suffering occur in our lives. Basically, we all just want to feel joy, we all want to be happy all the time. But in our dual world (day and night, good and evil, light and shadow etc.) these dual values need each other (like a coin with two sides).
After a long night, we look forward to the day with light and warmth, when we are ill, we look forward as soon as we are well again, etc.Our world is like a closed room: when we do something, say something, think something – it all comes back like an echo. When this is reflected back is not up to us. With some, these things come back immediately or very soon, depending on how and what they have spoken, done, thought, with other situations it can even go beyond our lifetime. Example: Once upon a time there was a blind saint who could look back to his 100th life, but could not find out why he went blind in that life. Then when another saint came to him and helped him look further back in time, he was able to see the cause of his blindness. In his 106 life before his present life, he did something where only now the seeds of his early deeds sprouted. My point is that we are like a mirror to our own “fortune or misfortune”. In the holy books we can also learn that the echo of our own thoughts, words and deeds reflects back on us – positively and negatively. So we also find reports there that whoever has hunted and killed animals becomes the hunted and killed himself – it is the fruit of our own deeds, words and thoughts, which sooner or later comes to fruition depending on the inexorable karmic law: cause and effect or action and reaction.
So the whole subject is very complex and cannot be described, comprehended, in a few words or sentences, because our understanding is thereby dependent on our own life experiences, beliefs and faith, which angle we take. We then learn to understand that whatever we do, think, say, falls within our sphere of responsibility and becomes the forge of our own future, with the building material: think, feel, say, write, do.
As a young man and as a child, I took up the sport of judo. It is a defensive martial art. If you are attacked, you use the opponent’s strength to bring him down. So when we are bullied, we also have these means at our disposal: Someone talks badly about you, makes fun of you, blackens you in front of the boss – then you can counter, not by reacting angrily or sadly or depressively, but by “turning the page” and affirming: yes, that’s right, I am so and so like you say (with this sarcasm you can defend yourself – most people don’t know how to deal with it). That way you can shoulder it and throw it.
Otherwise, I would also recommend talking to the ringleader directly in private and confront him in a friendly but firm way, make him aware of what he is doing. You can then ask him how he would feel if he were bullied and what he would do. After all, we all want to be treated the way we want to be treated. Then ask him or her if that is how he or she wants to be treated.
Otherwise, as you also wrote, you have to detach yourself from these bad situations. If necessary, find another job, if necessary find another place to live. Sometimes it is also necessary to be strict, not harsh or unkind, but also to show people strength (no violence), in words and deeds, so that one does not become an eternal victim.
I know, dear David, that these are only words that can only be interpreted, accepted or not accepted according to one’s own experiences. In the end, everyone has to decide for himself or herself how to deal with such situations. There is no really universal recipe – only well-intentioned advice based on one’s own experiences.
Don’t give up your good character traits because of those who bully or have bullied you – that would then be a victory for those bullies. So keep kindness and gentleness, but do not expect anything in return, not even thanks.
I wish you and all those who have to work and live under such conditions a lot of strength and courage to be able to successfully defend themselves against these bullies who will one day be bullied themselves as a result of their seed: “what you sow, you must reap”. They are the ones who end up being pitiful because they are not aware of their consequences, of their actions. They may take short-term and short-sighted sadistic pleasure in torturing others, but life will be their teacher and they will learn understanding in pain.
All love, dear friend
Didi
Didi, first, let me apologize for the huge delay in response. Ive been having trouble with WPour comment never showed up in my notifications.
I do agree that, in some situations, kindness does soften a bully, especially if they are bullying out of hurt and pain. However, with a narcissistic bully, kindness doesn’t work. A narcissist will only see it as weakness and weaponize it. Thank you so much for your thoughts. I appreciate it more than you know.
No, problem, dear Cherie 🙂
There are indeed people who enjoy to attack other people, especially when they are in a group and have a victim in front of them.
Nietzsche once said:
“They attack to hide that they are attackable.”
They have not recognized their own dirty games and its consequences – they do not know that every cause is followed by a reaction (cause and effect – a cosmic law). If they know they would be aware that when being in a glass-house one cannot throw stones…)
Wishing a good time and a peaceful X-mas as well a Happy New Year, dear Cherie.
Hugs and love
Didi
“There are indeed people who enjoy to attack other people, especially when they are in a group and have a victim in front of them.” Perfectly said! It’s entertaining to them. And I love the Neitzsche quote!
Wishing you also a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 🎄🎉
Thank you, dear Cherie 🙂
Hugs and love
Didi
My pleasure, Didi. Hugs and love back. ❤️🤗❤️🤗
Your blog is amazing, thank you for inspiring all those who are victims of bullying . Also thanks for following my blog.
You’re very welcome. 🙂 And thank you for your kind words.
Thanks for following 🙂
You’re most welcome, Simon. 😊
🙂👍
Hello, Cherie!!! Tanks for liking my posts and following my blog. I appreciate it,
My pleasure, Valentina! 💖🌺🌞
Thank you for choosing to follow my blog. I hope it encourages and strengthens you.
Thank you, Donna. It does! 💖🌺🌷
This looks great Cherie, I look forward to more.
Thank you so much, Michael. I’m so sorry it took me this long to respond. I took a hiatus for over a year. Now, I’m trying to learn more about running a self-hosted site. Again, thank you so much for your kindness! And pardon my brother’s ugly (just kidding) mug in the picture. He set this site up. hee-hee-hee! 😜
Hey people!!!!!
Good mood and good luck to everyone!!!!!