objectives of bullying in schools

Objectives of Bullying: 15 Goals of Bullies

‘Want to know the objectives of bullying? Here are all the goals of bullies that you need to know about.

objectives of bullying

There are many reasons people bully. And they vary from bully to bully. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the objectives of bullying to relieve any confusion you may have.

Once you learn all about these objectives, you will have the knowledge that will serve as a buffer to your self-esteem. Moreover, you will be better able to outflank bullies when they come after you.

This post is all about the objectives of bullying, so that you won’t be racking your brain, asking, “Why are they bullying me?”

Objectives of Bullying

Understand that when bullies bully you, they have goals that they want to achieve. No one does anything for nothing. There is always an eventual payoff to everything we do. This is a part of human nature.

Once you understand why people bully, you gain a whole new perspective on it. So, why do bullies bully? Here are all the goals and objectives of bullying behavior.

1. To Undermine your Confidence.

Bullying always starts small, in little-bitty bites. Little by little, bullies take tiny nibbles out of your confidence.

It begins with a sarcastic comment here, a backhanded compliment there. Or, they may give you a contemptuous glare this week and an eye roll next week.

However, you must realize why they do this. Bullies start with these subtle jabs to soften you up for bigger attacks later.

At the same time, they can protect themselves from detection. If the attacks are subtle, who’s going to notice besides you? And how are you going to defend yourself?

You’ll only look unstable if you openly address it. But you still need to confront this in the beginning stage. Why? Because it will only get worse from here if you don’t.

Therefore, the best way to deal with this kind of bullying is to return fire using the same tactics they use. For example, if they give you a dirty look, return the gesture. And if they hurl a zinger or two your way, respond with one of your own.

By doing this, you protect your mental health.

2. Objectives of Bullying:

To exert power over you

Bullies want to take power over you. Once you realize this, you will be less likely to allow it. You see? Most bullies have no control over their own lives. Therefore, they wish run yours.

Moreover, bullies are addicted to power. Therefore, they get a rush from it. The problem is that this power high doesn’t last long. And once it wears off, they will come back for more.

This is why they keep attacking. But you don’t have to take that kind of abuse. You can stand up to bullies. And how you do it is to use the same tactics they use and return fire.

This lets them know that you aren’t an easy target.

3. To Damage Your reputation

This is especially true with social bullies. They use relational aggression to turn your friends against you and make it hard for you to make new ones.

Bullies do this by using gossip and smear campaigns to sully your good name. They may spread lies and rumors about you. And they may set you up to look bad in public.

You see, if they can make you look evil or defective in the eyes of others, then they can isolate you. They can cut you off from support.

And once you have no support, bullies can bully you anytime they feel like it. And they can get away with it.

Why? Because if everyone hates you, who’s going to stop them from abusing you?

4. Objectives of Bullying:

To take away your credibility

Once your credibility is gone, no one will trust you. Therefore, who’s going to believe you when you tell someone that you’re being bullied?

By making you appear untrustworthy, bullies don’t have to worry about you telling on them. Why? Because no one will believe you if you do.

Then, they can bully you freely and with impunity. So, you must do what you can to defend yourself.

5. To raise their own social status

Many bullies bully to climb the social ladder. This is often a motivation of school bullies who wish to become popular.

Sadly, to most kids these days, it’s cool to be cruel. Therefore, these kinds of bullies think that for them to rise, someone else must fall.

The ends justify the means. Right? If they can get their high status at your expense, then why not?

6. to Demoralize you

When bullies demoralize you, they erode your confidence. Bullies do this to weaken you.

You see? A confident person won’t put up with abuse. Moreover, they won’t give in to fear. This threatens the bullies’ power.

Your confidence is like a fortress. To defeat an enemy, you must break down their fortress. It’s the same with bullies. If they have selected you as their target, they must demoralize you.

Once they do that, it’s easier for them to take power over you. This is why you must never ignore bullying. You must respond with strength.

7. Objectives of Bullying:

to Tighten Bonds in Their In-Group

Sadly, hate is a stronger emotion than love. Nothing unites people faster than the shared hatred of something or someone.

There’s strength in numbers. Therefore, is it any wonder bullies usually run in packs? You will never see them alone because the mere thought of standing alone scares them to death. The group is their power.

The stronger the solidarity, the less likely the group will disband. Hatred is the glue that binds the members together.

You are the tool that holds them together. Without you, the group is weak. And things will get boring real fast. And it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

Therefore, they bully you to bond with one another.

8. to make you afraid

Bullying thrives on fear. Without your fear, bullies don’t stand a chance. Fear is the fuel that drives them.

Therefore, no matter how difficult, you must not let them scare you. So, how do you do that? You do it by realizing that your bullies are the real cowards.

Why? Because they have to bully you to appear tough. Moreover, they put on the biggest facades. Bullies have an image to maintain.

Therefore, they work hard to keep up appearances. If others saw them for who they really are, no one would like them. And that is the bullies’ biggest fear.

9. Objectives of Bullying:

to silence your voice

Sadly, if you are being bullied, you may keep it to yourself. You don’t speak up because you’re afraid of making the situation worse.

For example, you may fear retaliation. Or, you might be too embarrassed to talk about it. Maybe you blame yourself for their behavior.

Whatever your reasons, there’s something you should know right now. Bullying thrives on silence. And there are reasons bullies try to keep you quiet.

Think about it. If they can keep you quiet, they maintain their power over you. Understand that your voice is powerful. And your bullies know it.

10. to make them feel better about themselves

Many bullies have low self-esteem. Therefore, the only way they know how to raise it is to trash yours.

You don’t have to allow them to do that. Therefore, use this little nugget of truth to stand up to them.

For instance, you can respond with, “Is putting others down the only way you can feel better about yourself?”

Then walk away. By responding this way, you are bringing attention to your bullies’ lack of confidence. At the same time, you’re defending yourself with strength.

11. Objectives of Bullying:

to distract negative attention away from themselves

Many bullies will bully you as a distraction. If everyone’s too busy watching you, they won’t notice the bully’s shortcomings. Therefore, the bully can keep hiding their flaws.

The hidden message is, “Don’t look over here, look over there.”

12. to project their feelings of insecurity onto you

Many bullies use protection for the same reasons. They do it to distract others’ attention from their behavior by focusing on your reaction to it.

Therefore, you get the blame.

13. to get attention and admiration

Bullies are the biggest attention whores. Moreover, they think that everyone should bow down and worship them.

If you’re in an environment that supports bullying, people will think that it’s cool to bully. So they will admire anyone who mistreats others.

This is exactly what the bully wants. Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up for yourself and give them the comeuppance they deserve.

Humiliate the bully with a good comeback, and the bullying will stop. I guarantee it.

14. For revenge

Many bullies bully to take revenge on someone they believe wronged them. It’s their way of getting even. However, anyone who seeks revenge against you is obsessed with you.

The best way to stand up to revenge bullying is to call it out publicly. You will humiliate them, and bullies hate to be humiliated. And chances are that they’ll leave you alone.

However, make sure that you aren’t dealing with a bully with narcissism. Why? Because this doesn’t work on those with NPD. It only enrages them and makes them more determined to come after you.

Just be aware of the type of bully you’re dealing with.

15. For Attention.

Most bullies are attention whores. Therefore, they bully to gain attention and admiration from bystanders.

So, if attention is what they want, why not help them out? Stand up to them by delivering a witty comeback that will shame the hell out of them. Then watch them squirm with embarrassment when everyone laughs at them.

This post was all about the objectives of bullying to motivate you to defend yourself and take back control of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying

2.  The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Affects Mental Health

3. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

4. Negative Self-Beliefs: 5 Ways They Affect Victims of Bullying

5. Social Bullying: Clever Ways to Protect Yourself from It

happiness is a choice not a result

Happiness is a Choice: 9 Ways to be Happy

Did you know that happiness is a choice, not something that only happens to a lucky few? Here are all the reasons you can choose happiness so that you can make that choice today.

happiness is a choice

Let’s face it, most people aren’t happy. Rare is the person who is happy. Believe it or not, most people live crappy lives, and it’s the reason why rates of depression and suicide are so high.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn that happiness is a choice. Moreover, you will learn how to attain happiness and change your life.

Once you learn this important truth, you will be encouraged to take steps to grab the happiness that you deserve.

This post is about a truth most people don’t yet realize: happiness is a choice, not something that happens to you.

Happiness is a choice

People don’t know how to be happy. And it’s why we have so many who have anger issues. Many only know how to use violence to get their needs met.

Most people drown in misery. And it’s the reason we have so many bullies and abusers running around terrorizing people.

With bullies, using force is the only way they can feel in control. Without you to push around, they would have to take stock of their own lives. Then they would have to admit they’ve lost control over their circumstances.

However, many lead crappy lives.  These are those who are bullies, victims, or neither. But why?

There are several reasons.

Most people try to put on a fake persona to impress others. Victims do it to keep from being bullied and only achieve the exact opposite. Bullies do it to seek admiration. Those who are neutral do it to be liked.

However, what they don’t realize is that happiness comes from within, not without. It is a choice. It’s not something that only happens to a lucky few.

Happiness is a Choice:

You can either lead a happy life or a crappy life.

Naturally, we all want a happy life. However, the sad thing is, not everyone knows how. Because they aren’t sure how to achieve happiness, most stay stuck on autopilot. So, let’s break it down.

What does it mean to be happy? And what does it mean to have a crappy life?

There are 5 differences.

1. Living happily

This means walking away from people who are not healthy for you. It means turning your back on people who abuse and use you.

Moreover, it means saying goodbye to those who only come around when they want or need something. In short, it means letting go of people who don’t value you.

Most of all, you must be willing to be alone until better people come along.

Happiness is a Choice:

Living crappily

To lead a crappy existence means putting up with people who aren’t healthy for you. It means clinging to those who continue to use and abuse you.

It means being afraid of being alone and friendless. Therefore, you don’t have the guts to tell them to take a hike.

It also means tolerating people who only approach when they want something. Then, giving them what they want, while wishing and hoping that, someday, they’ll see your value.

But here’s a newsflash! That someday may never come. No one will notice your worth as long as you don’t value yourself.

You don’t respect yourself enough to tell them to step off. And even then, they may never value you.

But wouldn’t you much rather do bad by yourself rather than put up with those who mistreat you?

2. Happiness is a Choice:

Living Happily

It depends on how you spend your free time. You spend your leisure time doing things that you enjoy.  You make time for play. And, you also make time for rest.

Moreover, you use your free time to grow yourself. You exercise and get healthy. You read books to learn and expand your mind. Living happily means focusing on your hobbies and interests. It also means working on your goals.

Happiness won’t just fall into your lap. You must create it.

Living crappily

Instead of getting out of the house, you sit on your butt and watch TV all day. Some TV isn’t bad and can be enjoyable.

But when watching TV is all you do, you become sedentary, lazy, and stagnant. Living a crappy existence also means refusing to learn anything.

I know a few who dislike reading. Therefore, they stay stuck because they don’t learn anything new. I’ve also met people who don’t have goals, hobbies, or interests.

And it all makes for a boring life. Also, because they lack those resources, they tend to get into legal trouble. They may go out and get drunk or high because they’re bored.

And it only sets them on a path to misery and destruction.

3. Happiness is a Choice:

Living happily

To be happy, you must be yourself and own your quirks and flaws. You must speak your truth even if others resent you for it.

Own your emotions, the good and the bad ones, instead of burying them. Make fun of yourself when you fall on your keister from time to time.

Living crappily

To have a crappy existence is to try to be someone you aren’t. It means being a fake, a fraud, an imposter.

And, do you know what’s so bad about being a fake person? It’s that you’re constantly on high alert. You must work extra hard to ensure the mask doesn’t fall off. And that’s a stressful way to be.

You don’t own your emotions. For instance, someone does something to really tick you off. When others ask you how you are, you lie and tell them you’re just fine.

You also try to align your body language and facial expressions with your words. Rarely does that fool anyone, as micro-expressions will give you away.

Again, it’s too much work, and it’s work for nothing!

4. Happiness is a Choice:

Living happily

It depends on the way you do things. It means working smart and not hard. Also, it means taking your time and doing whatever you’re doing right.

Living crappily

This also depends on how you do things. It means working hard rather than working smart. It means rushing through whatever you’re doing and taking a chance on fouling it up. Then, you’ll have to start again.

5. Living happily

Every day, you count your blessings. This can be difficult at times; I understand. Things go wrong, and plans don’t work out.

Therefore, it can be difficult to see the silver lining when it seems your world is upside down. And I’ll let you in on a little secret- even I struggle with this sometimes.

Like you, I can get into a real funk too. But we must count blessings when we think about it, so that life won’t seem as dismal.

Happiness is a Choice:

Living crappily

You only see the glass as half-empty and life as one big hell-pit. I had this kind of attitude years ago, and it only made things worse for me.

Oh, man, did I have a funky attitude. You wouldn’t have wanted to know me back then. So, you can have happiness or crappiness. It’s your choice.

Being Happy doesn’t mean Everything is Perfect.

Happiness isn’t that everything is all peaches and cream. Even happy people have days when they don’t feel so good. And they have days when things go wrong.

Being happy doesn’t mean having a perfect life. It doesn’t mean living in zippity do-da land.

Again, what being happy really means is being authentic and growing in mind, body, and spirit.  It means having a purpose and goals to work toward. It also means allowing yourself time for play and relaxation.

In a nutshell, happiness means being true to yourself and everything about you.

Attaining Happiness

Happiness doesn’t fall into your lap, and it isn’t magically given. We choose happiness.

Once upon a time, I was the most negative person you ever met. However, when I grew tired of being miserable, I began reading extensively.

That’s when my eyes were opened, and I finally put in the work to change my attitude. In changing those things, I changed my life.

Again, everything isn’t perfect. I still have days when things don’t go the way I want. But I no longer see it as the end of the world.

There are even times I get angry or upset. However, the difference is that I don’t set up shop and stay there. I usually bounce back pretty quickly.

Happiness is a Choice:

9 Ways to Choose to be Happy

Here are additional ways to choose happiness.

1. Check your thoughts.

It starts with a single thought. Negative thoughts will cross your mind. It’s a part of life. Therefore, you must catch it and replace it with a positive one.

Once you begin to do this, it’ll slowly become a habit. Keep it up long enough, and it will become like second nature.

You’ll be so surprised by how your life will improve. Like magic, positive people and experiences will suddenly begin flowing into your life. I can tell you this from experience!

2. Don’t sweat the small stuff.

The small stuff is what people think and say of you. You shouldn’t worry about it because they don’t matter. Neither do their opinions and petty remarks. Never let bullies determine how you feel about yourself.

Therefore, forget about them and continue to do you.

3. Do what you enjoy most.

Do what fulfills you. Engage in hobbies and interests. You must create opportunities to enjoy yourself.

4. Happiness is a Choice:

Spend time with those you love.

Hold your family and closest friends close to your heart. Visit them often and don’t lose touch.

5. Learn something new every day.

If you’re not learning, you’re stagnating. Reading and learning new things can be exciting, and they help you grow!

So, grab a good book. I guarantee it will deliver significant dividends!

6. Find a hobby.

Hobbies are fun, and they keep your mind off the bad stuff. They also give you a sense of fulfillment and accomplishment!

Having hobbies is essential to mental health, especially if others bully you.

7. Happiness is a Choice:

Stay away from drama.

Others’ moods have a way of rubbing off on you. So, stay far away from anyone who’s immersed in drama. Otherwise, they’ll smother and kill your vibe!

You have a choice of the people you allow in your life. Choose wisely.

8. Find Purpose.

This is closely related to number 8. To me, the key to happiness is finding purpose- a purpose that’s so much bigger than yourself.

Happiness comes when you answer a calling and make it your passion, purpose, and life’s work. Becoming an advocate for the bullied is what I love best.

That purpose is helping targets reclaim their power. This is so much bigger than me. And it’s why it feels so rewarding!

Contributing to helping others more successfully battle bullying isn’t for material gain, fame, or fortune. It’s for my spiritual fulfillment. It’s the inner rewards I get.

Making a difference and making the world a better place- even if just a little bit? There’s no reward that matches that! In other words, I want to be the person I needed when I was targeted years ago.

Material rewards are nice, don’t get me wrong. And I certainly won’t turn them down if God decides to bless me with them. I would like to make a good living doing what I love. After all, I’m human too.

But at the end of the day, the inner rewards- the rewards to the heart and spirit are more satisfying than I ever thought they would be. It’s what keeps me going, and it’s where my fulfillment comes from.

9. Happiness is a choice:

Create, Create, Create!

Producing something from your own brain and hands is the most fulfilling. Whether you create a music CD, a book, a sculpture, or a painting, you also create happiness for yourself.

Therefore, find out what you enjoy doing and build something from it.

Happiness is a Choice:

In Closing

Other ways to be happy include practicing self-acceptance, exercising, and trying new things.

I can’t stress this enough. Happiness comes from within. In other words, no one else is responsible for your happiness, only you.

How you get your happiness is to create it. And there are many ways you can do that.

The purpose of this post was to remind you that happiness is a choice so that you can take steps to reclaim the happiness you deserve.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

2. Let It Make You or Break You: Being a Victim of Bullying

confidence definition

Confidence: 9 Reason’s It’s Important When You’re Being Bullied

‘Want to know the importance of confidence when you’re being bullied? Here is everything you need to know.

confidence

It is the greatest gift you can have. However, it can be taken away by bullies and human predators who love nothing more than to undermine you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about confidence and why it’s crucial.

Once you learn all about this wonderful gift, you will be better able to withstand the onslaught of bullying. Moreover, you will defend yourself like a champ.

This post is about confidence and what it can do for you when bullies come after you.

Confidence Definition: What is the big C?

According to the Merriam-Webster website, the definition of confidence is “a feeling or consciousness of one’s powers or of reliance on one’s circumstances.”

In other words, you know who you are and the good things you are capable of. You recognize your potential and aren’t afraid to try.

Confidence is not arrogance. It isn’t loud and boastful. True confidence is quiet. Why? Because when you know your worth and what you can do, there’s no need to brag.

1. It buffers your self-esteem from attacks.

Confidence automatically buffers your self-esteem from bullying. Why? Because when you’re confident, you know who you are. You’re not afraid to be yourself. Therefore, you are least likely to cave into the lies of bullies.

Instead, you will brush off your bullies with a “whatever.” And you won’t waste time arguing with them. You know that you don’t have to get on the defensive.

When you are confident, you will do the things you love most. Whether you love to swim, hike, or camp. Whatever you love doing, you will find opportunities to do these things.

Why? Because they raise your happiness quotient exponentially! The more happy moments you have, the less of an effect bullying will have on you!

Moreover, doing these things will help to buffer your self-esteem against personal attacks. It will lessen the pain of the attacks. Why? Because you’ll know you have friends, allies, talents, and joyous moments in life.

This is solid proof that refutes any toxic claims people may make. It will also help address the imbalance between adversity and success.

When you’re confident, you will take action to protect your self-esteem.

2. Confidence:

It gives you resilience.

When you’re confident, you are more likely to get through bullying. You will come out of it a winner. Then you will look back and realize you didn’t know your own strength.

If you can endure bullying and come out on top, then you can get through almost anything. And that, in itself, gives you even more confidence.

3. It’s easier to make friends and allies.

Let’s face it, confidence attracts people. Moreover, it draws the right people – those who are healthy.

When you are confident in yourself, others are more likely to share the way you feel about yourself. In other words, when you believe in yourself, the people around you will believe in you, too.

And you won’t need to announce it. Others will see your confidence in how you present yourself. They will notice it in your body language. The way you carry yourself will tell the tale.

Therefore, it will be much easier for you to make friends.

4. Confidence:

You heal from bullying faster.

Those with confidence and healthy self-esteem typically recover more quickly from bullying. Human predators may bring them down temporarily. But they won’t be able to keep them down.

A healthy self-esteem is a huge buffer to taunts and personal attacks. Therefore, when you’re confident, it’s much easier to blow off names, taunts, and ridicule. Why? Because you already have that foundation of knowing who you are and being proud of it.

5. Confidence:

It preserves your sense of self-worth.

When you are confident, you know your worth. Therefore, it will be much harder for bullies to undermine your self-esteem.

Nefarious people may attack, but you will see through their mean words. You will realize that the behavior says more about them than it does you.

You will see what pathetic cowards they really are. Therefore, you won’t give them any weight. Instead, you will coolly blow them off and keep going.

6. You’re more likely to defend yourself.

Many victims are not confident. Therefore, many don’t or won’t fight back. Why? Because others have tricked them into believing that they deserve abuse.

A confident person, on the other hand, has healthy self-esteem. They know that they don’t deserve abuse. And they’ll be damned before they tolerate it.

Therefore, they will quickly go toe-to-toe with anyone who attacks them. They won’t be afraid because they’ll take an ass-whooping before they allow others to degrade them.

Confident targets know that what bullies say about them is a lie. They also see through the bullies’ false bravado and fake toughness.

They know they are worth fighting for. Therefore, they won’t hesitate to stand up to their bullies and tell them to get stuffed.

7. Confidence: You’re less likely to give in to fear.

You know without a doubt that they don’t deserve to be bullied. So, you will not be afraid to defend yourself.

Moreover, Manipulators may try to intimidate you. They may even try to pressure you. However, you won’t budge no matter what the other person throws at you.

Why? Because you see right through their bullshit. You know when someone is trying to manipulate you. And you resent the hell out of it.

Therefore, you will only double down on your refusal. And you will tell the manipulator to take a flying leap.

8. You won’t be afraid to show your talents and gifts.

Why? Because you won’t care what others think or say. You realize that you will have haters. Moreover, you know that the best people have them.

You also realize that haters and naysayers always trash-talk from the sidelines. They are those who are too afraid to put any skin in the game.

For instance, you get up and sing in a contest. A few others in the audience try to heckle you. However, they wouldn’t have the guts to get up on that stage.

Therefore, you will view your critics as confirmation that you are doing something right. In fact, you will realize that most of them are jealous of your bravery.

Confidence gives you the courage to try new things. With it, you will show others what you’re made of.

9. With confidence, you aren’t afraid to pursue your goals.

When you are confident, you pursue your goals with enthusiasm. You aren’t afraid to go after what you want.

Instead of being afraid to try, you can’t wait to. Therefore, you are more likely to successfully reach your goals. Why? Because you won’t let anyone or anything stop you.

If people try to discourage you. You only go at it that much harder. And you end up succeeding, much to the chagrin of your bullies.

10. You make better decisions.

Self-doubt is the enemy of choices. It can cause you to listen to the wrong people and make choices that can harm you. Why? Because toxic people will try to sabotage you. And if you listen to them, they win.

With confidence, on the other hand, you don’t doubt yourself. Therefore, you make better decisions. Moreover, you don’t allow others to tell you what you should do.

You take advice, yes. However, you value only the advice of those you love and trust the most. Why? Because you know that these are the people who want what’s best for you. They are the people who are in your cheering section.

Therefore, you allow them to mold and mentor you. As a result, you are likely to make the right decisions.

11. Confidence gives you freedom.

Confidence gives you unlimited freedom. But without it, you are no more than a slave. Without it, you will let others tell you what you can and cannot do. Why? Because you don’t trust yourself to make the right choices.

Therefore, you depend on others to decide for you. That’s not freedom. Confidence gives you the freedom to make your own choices. Moreover, it gives you the assurance that you will make the right decisions.

You might screw up from time to time. However, you will beat yourself up over it. Instead, you will see it as a lesson learned. You will know what not to do next time.

Therefore, you will lead a happier, more fulfilling life.

In Closing

Confidence is the foundation of a happy and productive life. When you are confident in yourself, you’re confident in every aspect of your life – your abilities, your relationships, and your value.

Never let bullies take away that most precious commodity. Why? Because if you lose confidence, you lose everything. If you are low on it, you can find confidence-building techniques here.

This post was all about confidence and why it’s important so that you can take steps to build and maintain it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. “You Ain’t Shit!” – 5 Reasons Why Bullies Tell You This

2. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

3. Confident Person Example: Who Are the Most Confident People?

4. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

5. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

what can you learn from bullying reddit

What Can You Learn from Bullying? 15 Powerful Takeaways

What can you learn from bullying? There are several things it will teach you, and you can find those life-lessons right here. However, you may not recognize the lessons until after the bullying ends and you become a survivor.

what can you learn from bullying

Bullying hurts, don’t get me wrong. It can be traumatic for many victims. However, there are takeaways you can get from it if you look for them.

In this post, you will learn the answers to the sometimes-asked question, “What can you learn from bullying?”

Once you learn about all these takeaways, you can feel much better about yourself. Moreover, you will be proud of yourself because you survived! More importantly, you overcame.

What can you learn from bullying? This post will give you all the answers.

What Can You Learn from Bullying?

Bullying sucks! I will be the first to agree with you. In fact, that’s the understatement of the century. Bullying is horrible.

However, as Katy Perry sang, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

You would be amazed at what you can learn from bullies. This may sound a bit strange to some. However, bullies can teach you a great deal about human nature and the evils of the world.

Yes, they can hurt you, but they can also teach you some of the most powerful life lessons. If you were ever a victim of bullying, it more than likely did the same for you.

It’s hard to look for the silver lining while bullies are bullying you. However, things change once you get away from your bullies, and the torment is over.

You regain a renewed sense of hope. Moreover, you see so much more clearly the lessons in what you had to endure.

So, what are the takeaways?

1. Bullying Teaches you how to detect bullshit.

Bullying can give you a finely tuned ability to smell bullshit from a mile away. If you’ve dealt with bullies and bullying long enough, you learn very quickly how to spot liars and fakes before you even talk to them.

And you learn it because your survival depends on it. I’m not only speaking from my own experiences. I’ve also heard the same from other survivors of bullying.

When you have experienced bullying, especially long-term, it has a way of giving you an almost psychic ability to see through people. Moreover, you can figure out their true motives and intentions.

All you have to do is carefully observe a large group. Then you can spot the fakes and troublemakers at lightning speed and with accuracy.

As for me, I don’t have to speak a word to anyone. All I have to do is stand back and watch.

What Can You Learn from Bullying?

When It’s a matter of survival, your brain learns something quickly and to near perfection.

For example, a person who loses his sight experiences a much keener sense of hearing. It’s the same with a victim or survivor of bullying.

They quickly grow the ability to read people like newspapers. Why? Out of sheer necessity. Many survivors can read body language like an FBI agent.

They can decipher the tiniest micro-expression. In fact, they can even pick up on the vibes others put out…especially negative ones.

When a specific skill is mandatory for your survival, nature gives you no choice but to hone that skill and use it to near perfection.

I consider this sixth sense to be a gift. And, this gift came at a heavy price. However, it was worth it in the end because it made me a better judge of character.

2. Compassion for the Underdog.

When you know what it is to be a victim of bullying, it teaches you empathy and compassion for others- especially the downtrodden.

You’ll more likely reach out and protect those who are bullied because you were there once. And you can’t stand the thought of anyone else enduring such pain.

Therefore, you make a point of extending kindness. And you do it primarily to people whom others have unjustly marginalized and misjudged.

As for me, I believe in spreading the same kindness to the janitor as I would to the CEO.

3. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

Greater Appreciation for those who love you.

Because you know what it is to be mistreated and alone, you never take anyone for granted. I’m no longer a victim of bullying. However, I have an awesome family and the most positive, fun circle of friends you’d ever want to meet.

And the same will be for you. When you’ve known what it’s like to be excluded and isolated, you don’t take your familial relationships or friendships for granted.

You make a point of being loyal to all of them. And you’ll stand behind them when the chips are down.

In fact, you consider your family, blood, and non-blood, wonderful blessings to your life. And you cherish them.

4. Clarity of what you will and will not tolerate.

After you’ve been bullied, you know never to be afraid to say “no.” You learn very quickly that it is crucial to set boundaries, or others will walk all over you.

And you find that out the hard way. Moreover, you learn that sometimes, even if you do, there will be those who will challenge those boundaries.

But you know to stay firm no matter what. You might be retaliated against for it, but at least you’ll feel better later. Knowing that you stood up for yourself gives you untold confidence.

As the old saying goes, “I’d rather die on my feet than live on my knees.”
Finding the lessons in bullying will make you a happier person later on. It did me!

Therefore, you will stand up to bullies without guilt. Why? Because you know that it’s okay to defend yourself when someone is harming you.

5. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

Bullies can give you the dogged determination to go after what you want in life.

Bullying can teach you to go after your goals and dreams. If there’s anything you want in life, you go after it.

Therefore, you work hard for what you want because you’ve gotten enough of what you don’t want. Being bullied can give you the tenacity to reach your goals and dreams.

As a result, you will make several accomplishments.  Moreover, these accomplishments would not have been possible if you had never experienced bullying.

If you let it, bullying will only fuel your motivation to achieve more and live a happy life. Therefore, instead of holding grudges against your bullies, use them as your drive to reach heights you never thought possible!

Happiness and success are the best revenge you can ever take.

6. A passion to help OTHER victims overcome bullying.

It puts you on a mission to tell your own story and speak out against injustice. Because you know what it’s like, you strive more to help others overcome bullying and abuse.

7. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

You learn the importance of self-care.

When you’re bullied, you learn the hard way that if you don’t love yourself, no one else will either. So, you make a point of taking care of yourself and treating yourself kindly.

Moreover, you treat yourself well by allowing others to treat you well. You do so by what you tolerate, and those you let into your life.

And you reinforce that by not being afraid to walk away if someone doesn’t treat you well.

8. you realize the importance of loving yourself, and being comfortable in your own skin.

You learn the importance of putting yourself first. No matter what anyone thinks or says, you continue to be true to yourself and to be yourself.

You don’t let bullies distort your self-esteem. Moreover, you don’t allow them to tell you “it isn’t cool” if there’s something you enjoy doing.

Instead, you take care of yourself and stand up for yourself. You do what fulfills you and makes you happy, and forget the rest.

Confidence and self-love are the most important things you can have. Those two qualities will give you the determination to love yourself and pursue what you want in life.

9. A strong desire to learn about human psychology and behavior.

Even now, I read every book about human psychology and behavior I can get my hands on. Being bullied lights a fire under you.

It gives you the desire to learn about human psychology and behavior, so you never become a victim again.

10. What Can You Learn from Bullying:

The will to protect other victims of bullying.

You’ll stand up for others who are being bullied. Again, because you know what it’s like to be mistreated, you wouldn’t want to see anyone else endure what you have.

Therefore, you take every opportunity to be someone’s hero and friend for life. This is one of the greatest lessons bullying can teach you.

11. To live life on your terms.

If nothing else, know this! You do not need anyone else’s permission to live your life the way you want. From the way you dress to the decisions you make, as long as you aren’t hurting anyone else, you can do as you please.

No one has the right to tell you what your lifestyle should be, how you dress, or when you speak. Therefore, you must exercise your autonomy daily to overcome bullying.

Your life is yours. Live it the way you choose.

12. It makes you selective of who you allow in your life.

Being selective means avoiding people who bring you drama. And if you look closely, you will know which people to avoid.

For instance, if you see people gossiping about someone, they will eventually talk about you. You know this. Therefore, you don’t need or want these kinds in your life.

Therefore, you will have the courage to get rid of toxic people without guilt or apology. You also forgive, but you do so without being foolish.

13. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

That everyone, even bullies, HAS problems.

You quickly learn that bullies always put on a front of having a perfect life. They use arrogance and cockiness to mask their feelings of inferiority.

I say this from experience because many of my bullies had alcoholic fathers. Many had drug-addicted mothers. Others had fathers who cheated on or beat their mothers.

Many of my classmates were being raised by single mothers who had a different man in their beds every night. Others had parents who neglected them and older siblings who abused them.

Several had a parent dealing drugs or one who was in and out of jail. Also, many had been sexually abused.

So, it was no wonder most of my classmates were so full of piss and vinegar?

14. To grow a thick skin.

Have you ever noticed how redundant bullies are? And have you noticed how they repeat the same worn-out insults?

It’s true that the crap they talk can hurt and hurt badly. However, bullies can repeat the same rubbish for so long that eventually, it loses its meaning.

And when something loses its meaning, it also loses its effectiveness. You get to a point where you don’t care what they call you anymore. Then, the taunts get boring, and your bullies become one big yawn.

15. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

The evils humans are capable of.

People can be the cruelest of all living things. Not everyone is inherently good. Being bullied teaches you to be on the lookout for those who secretly wish to harm your loved ones or you.

You learn to watch for enemies disguised as friends. Moreover, it teaches you to pay close attention to body language, expressions, and microflashes.

When you are the victim of bullying, you see the darkest side of humanity possible if you’re unlucky enough. You see things that those who aren’t targets would never see. And they will be things you won’t forget.

My classmates showed me the darkest and ugliest sides of human nature.

16. It teaches you the kind of person you never want to be.

You will watch bullies act arrogantly. You will also see them being loud and obnoxious. As a result, it will be a huge turn-off to you, and you will be glad you aren’t them.

It may not seem this way now. But it will later. I guarantee it!

17. What Can You Learn from Bullying?

That you are responsible for your own safety.

I learned early on that I was the only person responsible for my own safety, success, and future happiness, no one else! And I had to be willing to do whatever it took to bootstrap my way back up.

And it was the same with my other siblings. There were no freebies nor piggyback rides. The school didn’t help me. No one was coming to rescue me. So, I had to learn to stand up for myself.

Realize that no one is coming to rescue you. When bullies come after you, it’s up to you to defend yourself.

In closing, here is a quick summary of what bullying can teach you.

Life Lessons from Bullying:

Quick Summary

  • How to detect bullshit
  • Compassion for the underdog
  • Greater appreciation of the people who love you
  • Clarity of what you will and will not tolerate
  • Dogged determination to go after what you want in life
  • A passion to help other victims overcome bullying
  • A strong desire to learn about human psychology and behavior
  • The will to protect other victims of bullying
  • The courage to get rid of toxic people and live life on your terms
  • It makes you selective of who you allow in your life
  • That everyone, even bullies, has problems
  • To grow a thick skin
  • The evils humans are capable of
  • The kind of person you don’t want to be
  • That you are responsible for your own safety

Being the object of bullies is never fun. But if you look for the lessons in it, it can teach you so much. It gives you so many lessons about the messed-up world we live in.

Moreover, it teaches you about the dark side of human nature. And you learn to keep the faith and believe in yourself. You learn to love yourself and appreciate the people who love you.

You also gain the willingness to stand up for the people who aren’t able to defend themselves.
Know that you have the power to turn the abuse you suffer around for good. That’s what adult survivors of bullying do.

You can also turn the negatives into positives. Your pain today can become your power tomorrow! I guarantee it! Here are several other life lessons you can learn HERE.

What can you learn from bullying? This post gave you the answers so that you can look for the lessons and, most of all, feel better about yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Survivors of Bullying: How It Feels to Overcome 

2. Life Lessons from Bullying: 16 Powerful Takeaways to Remember

3. Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently

4. The Importance of Forgiveness

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

bullying techniques psychology

Bullying Techniques: 5 Top Sneakiest Tactics

‘Want to know the cleverest bullying techniques seasoned bullies use? Here are the top sneakiest tactics you need to be aware of.

bullying techniques

Let’s face it, most bullies are masters at what they do. They know better than to mistreat you directly. Instead, they use subtle tactics to get you. This is why they mostly go undetected and get away with their attacks.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the sneakiest bullying techniques bullies use to fly under the radar.

Once you learn about these covert assaults, you will be better able to recognize them and call them out when you see them.

This post is all about the sneakiest bullying techniques, so you can recognize them and better defend yourself against them.

Bullying Techniques

So, let’s dive right in. What are the covert tactics that you need to be aware of? Here is a list of them below.

1. ordering you around.

Many bullies constantly boss you around. But understand what this is. It’s a power game. They order you around to exert power over you and feel superior.

They may tell you to sit down, shut up. I speak from experience because my classmates did the same to me every day. But again, you must see the goals and intentions behind these orders.

The reason they tell you to sit down or shut up is to take power over you. Moreover, they want to feel superior by making you small. They also want to undermine your confidence.

Therefore, you should never give in to their demands, no matter what. Never follow their unwarranted orders. I know, I’m one to speak because many times, years ago, I caved in.

However, knowing what I know now, I’d take a beating before I’d give in to them. Why? Because I realize that I’d more than likely take a beating anyway.

2. Bullying Techniques:

Empty promises, false incentives, and veiled threats.

Bullies may sweet-talk you into doing things you don’t want to do. To sweeten the deal, they may give you empty promises and false incentives.

Then, when you give them what they want, they don’t honor their promises. As a result, they only laugh and go back to treating you like dirt. Moreover, you feel like a total idiot for believing them.

Or, bullies may threaten you with even more abuse if you don’t do what they want. They may threaten to exclude you. Or they may tell you that the abuse will only get worse. However, here’s something to think about:

You can’t lose something you never had. Your bullies already hate you, and they already want to hurt you. So, you can’t lose any points with them because you never had them in the first place.

Therefore, you must refuse to give them what they want, no matter how they react.

3. Bullying Techniques:

Tattling on You.

This is one of the most evil techniques. Bullies, especially school bullies, are notorious tattletales.

They often tattle for even the tiniest of infractions. And, if they cannot find anything to tell, they will make something up. Furthermore, they will ensure it’s believable.

These kinds of people work as little Gestapos. Your bullies will watch you closely. They’ll wait with bated breath for you to do or say something- anything that is against the rules.

Then, they’ll run and tattle to a teacher, principal, supervisor, or manager. Here are the reasons they use this technique.

  • To gain the moral high ground.
  • To feel superior.
  • They feel entitled.
  • To impress those in authority.
  • To ruin your reputation with those in authority.
  • They want to set you up for future bullying.
  • To silence you.
  • To take attention away from their own bad behavior.

A deeper explanation of these kinds of bullying techniques

Bullies feel entitled to see that everyone is good little peasants, following the rules down to the letter! Or, at least, that’s what they want those in authority to think.

However, the reality is that everyone is free to do as they wish, everyone, except you. They only tattle on you. Why? To keep you from being able to defend yourself or report any bullying in the future.

Think about it. All your bullies must do is smear your name to any member of staff and you’re marred for good. They can then clear the path to bully you in the future without fear of being reported.

After all, who’s going to take the word of a troublemaker?

If enough people tattle on you, those in positions of power are more likely to believe them. Why? Because, “if you aren’t guilty of whatever they accuse you of, then why are so many pointing the finger at you?” Right?

Bullying Techniques:

Think of this as a game of chess.

By tattling, these bullies are setting up a system that will discredit you. In that case, they’ll leave you powerless to stop the bullying or escape it.

Tattling is also a way to silence you. Think about it. If you know that no one will believe you anyway, you’ll find it easier just to keep your mouth shut.

Bullies are master chess players. Therefore, this is how they set the stage beforehand to make you powerless. Why? Because once you’re completely powerless, they won’t need to hide it. They can bully you openly and in plain sight.

And who’s going to stop them? After all, you’re a troublemaker, a riffraff! And they aren’t bullying you; they’re only reacting to something you must have done to them. Right?

In other words, you’re bad, so you deserve it.

And the tattlers? They’re only “good kids” who want to learn in a clean environment. And the staff can’t be everywhere at once.

The tattle-tales serve as extra pairs of eyes that help the staff do their jobs. Therefore, they’re the little helpers.

So, let’s give them a cookie for their efforts to make our jobs a little easier!

These Bullying Techniques are planned ahead of time.

Tattling is a tactic that can eventually block you from any help you’d otherwise receive. Afterwards, the bullies will boast about how they succeeded in ruining your life.

Moreover, bullies use tattling as a veneer to hide their own bad behavior and project it onto you. If they can slither their way into the good graces of those in power while demonizing you, their plot will work perfectly. Then, the bullies are virtually untouchable.

I cannot stress enough the importance of being prepared for this type of thing. And the more you prepare, the better you’ll be able to counter this slick tactic and protect yourself.

3. Imposing Standards, then moving the goalposts.

Understand that bullies will always judge you, and they will do it by default. In other words, they’ll judge you without provocation.

You won’t need to do anything wrong because they will dissect everything until they find something. Moreover, your mere presence will provoke their attacks.

But, realize this. They hurl personal attacks strictly to control you. That’s right. Realize that bullies want to make you think, feel, and act the way they want you to. Nothing more.

Moreover, those judgements, insults, and personal attacks come from a place of entitlement.

Therefore, you must realize that your bullies won’t accept you, no matter what you do. And any efforts to win their approval will be like pouring water into a sieve.

Bullying Techniques:

It’s all About power!

How many attempts are you willing to make to satisfy these bullies before you become exhausted? How long are you willing to shapeshift before you realize that conforming does no good?

You’ll only end up disheartened in the end. Because, just as you can never fill a sieve, you can never appease a bully.

So, stop wasting your time and energy. And stop sacrificing your happiness because these creeps aren’t worth the powder to blow them up.

When you don’t stand up for yourself, others will lose respect for you. The amount of crap you put up with only determines how others treat you.

In other words, you teach others how to treat you by what you put up with. And when you conform to others’ standards, you only discard your own.

4. Giving Unsolicited Advice.

This technique is used to disguise bullying as being helpful. Bullies are good at giving unsolicited advice. However, they despise it when the shoe is on the other foot.

They try to advise you on how think, act, or feel under any circumstances. What bullies are best at is telling you how you should react to the very abuse they inflict.

These morons have a lot of nerve, don’t they? However, I want you to understand why bullies do this.

They do it to give their audience the impression that they are more intelligent than you. Bullies don’t give free advice to help you. They do it to help themselves.

Bullying Techniques:

You Don’t Need their Cheap Two Cents.

You counter this by realizing that the weight a person’s opinion carries depends on who they are. Put another way, the people who are the closest to you are those whose opinions have value.

These are the people who love and care for you the most- your parents, grandparents, your spouse, your dearest family and friends.

In contrast, the opinions of any bullies, fake friends, or anyone who uses and abuses you should carry the least weight. We should never value the opinions or judgments of bullies. Ever!

Never Give Value to Anything that Has None.

Opinions are like elbows, and everyone has one. But the value of an opinion must always be determined by where it comes from and the relationship you have.

Therefore, stop giving undue value to the opinions of those who aren’t worth your consideration. Discard any unsolicited advice from anyone who hasn’t earned your respect. When you do, you keep your power and your dignity.

For more information about opinions, see this post.

5. Bullying Techniques:

Sowing Discord between You and Other People.

Another classic tactic of bullies is to tell you how “everyone” talks about you. They may also tell you that this person doesn’t like you or that person hates your guts.

But make no mistake. When bullies do this, they aren’t trying to warn you, and they don’t have your best interests at heart.

What they’re trying to do is break your confidence. They want to make you insecure and feel like you aren’t wanted and don’t belong.

They pull this classic divide-and-conquer move to throw you off balance. Their goals are to destabilize you and make you look like you’re suffering from paranoia.

Why? Because if your bullies can make you suspicious of those around you, then you’ll eventually lose trust in people, and your relationships will suffer.

And if your relationships suffer, so too will your performance, your ability to make good decisions, and your ability to think clearly and rationally. This is precisely what the bullies are counting on.

In closing

Bullies are slick. Therefore, they use covert techniques to trick you into believing they mean well when they really don’t. These are only some of the tactics covert bullies use.

The real number of tactics is too many to list in one blog post. However, for a broader list of covert bullying tactics, click HERE.

 This post is all about the sneakiest bullying techniques that smart bullies use so that you will recognize them when THEY HAPPEN to you and defend yourself properly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confidence-Building Techniques: 15 Powerful Tips You Can Use

2. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

3. Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

4. Covert Bullying Examples: 7 Must-Know Tactics Covert Bullies Use 

5. Types of Bullying: 19 Types and Categories You Need to Know 

know your worth lyrics

Know Your Worth: 4 Reasons It’s Important

, ‘Want to know why you should know your worth? Here are all the reasons you need to know.

know your worth

Bullying is hurtful, no matter how confident you are. We’re all human, and we all have feelings and emotions. However, the effects are even more damaging when we look only outside ourselves for our value.

In fact, the damage to self-esteem is exponentially more serious. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you must know your worth.

Once you know all about these facts, you will realize that true worth comes from within. Then you will do the inner work you need to do.

This post outlines the reasons you should know your worth and how to begin today.

Know Your Worth

Your worth must come from inside you. Why? Because when you look outside of yourself for your value, you automatically look to others to give it to you. And when you do this, you put yourself at their mercy.

Therefore, to know your worth is the foundation of confidence and healthy self-esteem. Understand that your worth comes from within and never from without.

Here’s Why.

1. You can never control the Atmosphere around you.

There will be times when you find yourself in a toxic environment. Moreover, you will be surrounded by poisonous people. Toxic people are everywhere.

They can frequent the school you attend, the company you work for, or the home or neighborhood you live in.

When you know your value and let it come from the inside, bullying won’t have such an impact on you. It will hurt, yes. But it won’t be nearly as devastating.

Additionally, you won’t suppress as much of yourself to fit in. Why? Because, deep down, you’ll already know the value you bring. And you’ll realize that the negative people around you are only trying to diminish you.

Then, you will be more determined not to let them. You will do what you must to maintain your self-worth despite their behavior.

Know Your Worth:

Sometimes it’s best to walk away from toxic people.

Also, when the crap gets too thick, you’ll know when it’s time to walk away. You’ll bail out of relationships that don’t fulfill you. Why? Because you’ll realize that you don’t deserve this kind of treatment.

Therefore, you’ll know that you’re better off leaving this cesspit and moving on to greener pastures.

Moreover,  you’ll do it without feeling guilty. You’ll do it knowing that it isn’t because you’re “chicken” or “running away from your problems” but because you deserve better.

You’ll have the courage to do what’s best for you and you won’t care if they like it or not.

2. You can never control others’ behavior and how they think of you.

This is another reason it’s never advisable to rely on others’ approval. Understand that there will always be people who don’t like you and some who even hate you.

When you depend solely on others’ approval, you become a doormat. Please, for your own sake and the sake of your mental health, don’t give anyone that kind of power!

When your value comes from within, you will have respect for yourself. You will love yourself and have strong self-esteem. Also, you will give yourself compassion and care when others take potshots at you.

And you will have the confidence and courage to protect yourself and stand up to abuse. Therefore, you’ll be less likely to blame yourself for their behavior.

Why? Because you will know without a shadow of a doubt that they are the ones who have the issues and not you.

Realize that everyone serves a good and higher purpose here. You may or may not know what that purpose is, but you are here for a purpose.

Find that purpose and fulfill it. And know that you have value.

3. Know Your Worth:

You’re better able to withstand bullying attacks.

When people target you for bullying, loving yourself can be very difficult. How do you know your worth when it seems that the only thing you hear from others is negativity?

People constantly bombarding you with ugly names, cruel taunts, and attacks, even for a short time, makes life more complicated than it needs to be.

However, over time, bullying can have a cumulative and devastating effect on your self-esteem. And if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that others tell you.

Nevertheless, no matter how viciously others may behave, you must do everything possible to hold on to your worth! Even if you have to look at yourself in the mirror every day and make positive affirmations.

Loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can love and respect you. Also, you must take care of YOU.

You must command respect and love from others, including toxic family members that you love dearly. And be willing to make some difficult decisions to earn that love and respect.

Again, sometimes, you have to walk away. And you must do it, knowing full well that there is always a chance that the person may never see your worth.

And this means coming to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

Know Your Worth:

self-love sometimes means making difficult, even heartbreaking decisions.

However, there is a strong chance that your value will go up in that person’s eyes. They may eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

However, if it does not happen, realize that you did not turn your back on the person because you did not love them. You did it because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect you know you deserve.

Again, you must love yourself, or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

the movie “good will hunting” can teach you a valuable lesson about worth.

When I watched the movie “Good Will Hunting” for the first time almost thirty years ago, the character Will Hunting reminded me of myself in high school. He was bullied, angry, lashing out at people, and would fight at the drop of a hat if someone stepped on his toes.

I wasn’t a genius like he was. But still, there’s a moral to the movie.

Will, although highly intelligent and talented, had been conditioned to think he was worth less than he was. Therefore, he worked as a college janitor at the beginning of the movie.

With his smarts, Will could have any job he wanted. Only, he didn’t know it.

Because Will had a difficult start in life, he had lost sight of his self-worth. The character, Will Hunting, learned the hard way that you must know your worth to be happy and have a good life.

Therefore, know that you have value and that you matter. And if you’re blind to that, you’ll never be successful at anything.

4. If you don’t know your worth, you won’t reach your potential.

You’ll end up settling for less than you deserve. As a result, you’ll sell yourself out in every area of life.

For example, you’ll settle for crummy, dead-end jobs that pay a pittance. Also, you’ll accept dates and partners you aren’t even remotely interested in. And you’ll latch onto fake friends who treat you shoddily.

One thing Will did have is great friends who had his back. Those guys would’ve laid down their lives for him.  So, I can say that Will chose his buddies wisely.

But in every other area of life, he sold himself short. And his best friend finally told him that, in so many words, toward the end of the movie.

As the old saying goes, “If you settle for less, you get even less than what you settled for.”

I hate to admit that I did the same when I was young. And I got even worse than what I settled for. And why did I do that?

It was all because others had programmed me to believe that mere crumbs were the best I could do. And let me tell you, it royally sucked!

That’s what happens if you don’t know your worth.

Fortunately, I eventually worked my way out of that mindset. I now live a better and happier life.

It wasn’t easy, but it got better once I began drumming into my own head that there was more out there for me and that I deserved a good life as much as anyone else.

Will Hunting also got the message at the end of the movie. He eventually recognized his value and found the courage to pursue the life he wanted.

In closing:

Your worth is not conditional. And it is not up for debate. So, isn’t it time you started getting more of what you want and deserve out of life?

Make the decision today to know your worth. Begin aiming higher! Apply for that 90K per year job you may or may not qualify for.

Go ask out the girl whom you initially thought was out of your league. Command respect and love from others and return the same to them.

Aim higher than you ever have, and watch your life change for the better. You will be amazed at the rewards!

This post is all about the importance of knowing your worth so that you can begin taking steps to empower yourself and better your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1.  A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

2. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

3. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well

4. Walking Away from Fake Friends

5. Standing Against Bullying: 3 Reasons It’s Worth the Risk

resilience quotes

Resilience: 16 Ways to Stand Tall When You Suffer Bullying

‘What is resilience? Here’s what it is and how it helps you overcome bullying.

resilience

Resilience is essential for overcoming bullying. In fact, it’s how you defeat any adversity. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about it so that you can overcome anything that tries to bring you down.

Once you learn these critical life lessons, you will be able to overcome any challenges you face.

This post is about resilience, to assure you that you still have some control over your circumstances.

What is Resilience?

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity quickly. You may bend, but you don’t break. So, how do you stay resilient?

Here are all the ways to do it.

1. By Knowing Yourself

When you know yourself inside and out, you know, without a doubt, the definition of who you are. In other words, you won’t allow bullies and abusers to define you.

Instead, you only accept your own definition of yourself. And you can more easily avoid bullying because you’re better able to recognize it. And when you can recognize abuse, you’re least likely to put up with it. Moreover, your self-esteem won’t take such a massive hit.

Knowing yourself is freedom!

2. Know what you want, and what you will and will not tolerate.

Refuse to accept what you won’t tolerate. Focus on your wants and needs and work hard to achieve them. This means working on yourself. Moreover, it means working toward your goals and your aspirations.

This is of the utmost importance. Why? Because when you’re too busy working on yourself, you won’t pay attention to your bullies. You’ll care less about anyone’s opinions other than your own.

3. Resilience:

trust yourself to make the right decisions.

Here’s a little nugget you should know: your first instinct is usually the correct one.

For instance, any time you have bullies shaming and ridiculing you, your first instinct is to get away from them. However, when they see you’re leaving, they may mock you.

They may say, “Are you scared? Is that why you’re leaving? Don’t be a wuss. Stand up and face us.” They may even tell you, “You’d better run!”

You’re not afraid to put your hand up and walk away when toxic people accost you. Why? Because you don’t have time for foolishness and drama.

Sure. The taunts might sting a little, but they won’t crush your spirit.

4. Practice speaking out and showing your emotions.

Resilience means that you won’t feel the need to hold back emotions. You’ll be able to recognize them better and allow yourself to feel them. In some situations, it may be okay to express them.

Don’t let others tell you how you should feel. Never allow bullies to shame you into suppressing yourself.

You wouldn’t want to break down crying in front of everyone at school because a bully called you a name. Instead, you’d show annoyance and tell the bully to get stuffed.

Also, you wouldn’t cry publicly at work because the boss chewed you out or your project fell flat. You’d just stick out your chest and try to do better the next time.

However, you would cry at the funeral of a loved one. In fact, during those times, it’s perfectly acceptable to cry.

5. Resilience:

be yourself.

Know that you don’t have to put on a big front and try to act like someone you’re not. There’s no need to try to fit in with anyone. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone.

When you’re willing to be yourself, you know your worth. You accept that you are valuable, regardless of what people say or where you are in life.

Those who aren’t authentic will follow the crowd and try to fit in. People who are insecure about themselves will accept others’ definitions of them without realizing it.

They build fake identities based on others’ expectations and ideas of who they should be. But not you. You are true to who you are.

You would rather be original because you understand that originals are like famous paintings and artwork. They’re much more valuable than copies. Therefore, you refuse to be a cheap knock-off!

6. Refuse to blame yourself for others’ behavior.

Realize that other people’s behavior is no reflection on you. It only speaks volumes about their own lack of morals, decency, and character.

Know that what your bullies do to you is wrong. Now, this inner realization may or may not stop them from attacking you. In fact, it may make the abuse worse.

However, instead of hating and blaming yourself, know in your heart that they are the bad ones. Realize that they’re only projecting their own shortcomings onto you. A bully’s accusation is usually a confession.

7. Resilience:

trust your gut.

Listen to what your gut tells you. Pay close attention to the vibes you’re getting from the people around you. The energy people put out never lies.

This is how you maintain your inner strength and sense of self. It takes listening to your instincts when they signal that you should be cautious around certain people.

And don’t be ashamed of it. Instead, pay close attention to how your body reacts when you’re around certain people. You may not be able to pinpoint it. And you may not know why you’re having these yucky bodily sensations.

However, you must still pay attention to what you’re feeling.

  • Does your body automatically tense up?
  • Do you have that bad feeling in the pit of your stomach?
  • Does something feel off about the person or people you’re with?

If so, know that any one of these symptoms is your cue to get away from these people… and fast!

8. Resilience:

Be Confident.

When you’re being bullied by everyone, holding onto your confidence can be challenging. And that’s putting it mildly. Moreover, after being bullied, it can sometimes take years to regain the confidence you lost.

However, there are steps you can take to buffer your confidence and mitigate the impact of their attacks. Here’s a shortlist of ways to build your confidence.

  • Watch and listen.
  • Know that you aren’t the only one these creeps have bullied.
  • Befriend others your bullies have bullied.
  • Collect info on your bullies.
  • Keep company only with those who love you and want the best for you.
  • Show off your talents and gifts.
  • Do the things you enjoy.
  • Be there for others who are suffering.
  • Look your best.
  • Make positive affirmations.
  • Find someone to talk to about what you’re going through.
  • Never internalize any labels others stick to you.
  • Stop caring about others’ opinions.
  • Don’t be silent. Speak out!

If your confidence wanes, so does your performance, social abilities, and everything else! Therefore, guard it with your life. Why? Because your life truly does depend on it!

9. If you have a negative mindset, work to change it.

If people bully you at school or at work, you’re more likely to feel insecure. Moreover, you’ll have a horribly negative outlook. Therefore, it will require significant reprogramming to change.

Also, it will be the hardest thing you have ever done. It is easy to change certain things about yourself. However, changing ingrained thought patterns is one of the most challenging tasks. And it won’t happen overnight.

Negative thought patterns can take years to change completely.

However, once you start, you will gradually notice a positive difference in your outlook. Additionally, your circumstances will improve.

10. Resilience:

Turn Every negative thought into a positive thought.

For instance, you have a test or an interview coming up, and you ask yourself, “What if I fail?” or “What if I don’t make it?”

Immediately catch yourself. Then, turn that thought into a positive one by asking yourself, “What if I pass?” “What if I succeed?” or “What if I do make it?”

Or, if you find yourself thinking, “What if things go wrong?” Immediately turn it around and ask, “What if things go right?”

Also, if you catch yourself thinking that you’re a loser. Tell yourself, “No. I’m a winner.”

And talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Instead of putting yourself down, begin building yourself up. Encourage yourself to keep going when things get tough. Give yourself the love you would give to your family and best friends.

Continue doing this until thinking positively becomes like second nature!

11. Maximize your chance-opportunities.

If you’re talented in writing and you find a writing contest, enter the contest. In other words, instead of letting this opportunity pass you by because you’re too afraid that you’ll lose, face your fears and enter the contest anyway.

And you never can tell. You might win that contest! The point I’m making here is to try! Because if you don’t try, you don’t know. Put another way, if you try, you at least have a good chance of winning. However, if you don’t, there’s no chance of it.

Therefore, taking risks is crucial to achieving positive change in your life.

12. Resilience:

Get out of your comfort zone.

This brings us back to what we mentioned in the last section, taking risks. Resilient people take risks. And because they take risks, they score many successes.

This isn’t to say you’ll succeed every time; you won’t. Even resilient people fail sometimes. However, they don’t let failure stop them.

They do not give up. Instead, they move on to the next opportunity and keep trying until they succeed.

Remember the line in Rocky Balboa, “It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit. It’s about how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.”

In other words, the resilient get hit all the time, but they keep going. They continue to take risks and don’t stop until they reach their target. And that’s how they win! So, don’t be afraid to take risks!

13. Set goals and work hard to achieve them.

Set goals and go after them. Work hard and don’t quit until you achieve those goals. Moreover, never let bullies and jealous people discourage you.

Why? Because if word gets out that you’re working on a goal, there will be those who will do everything possible to discourage you. And this goes especially if you suffer from bullying. Therefore, keep striving and don’t stop until you reach the finish line.

14. Resilience:

Befriend others your bullies have bullied.

You and they have something in common. Therefore, this should be a piece of cake! Align yourself with these other victims.

And be there for them when they need you. In fact, be there for those who are suffering. Why? Because if you’re there for them, then it’s likely that they will be there for you, too.

Understand that strength comes in numbers, and human predators prefer loners.  If you band together with other victims, they will think twice before accosting you. But most of all, it will enhance your resilience.

15. Keep company only with those who uplift you.

A true friend uplifts you and helps your confidence soar. They encourage you, have your back when you’re in trouble, and cheer you on when you succeed.

All too often, victims latch on to fake friends – frenemies who only tolerate them. These frenemies will subtly humiliate you in public. Then they throw you under the bus when you’re in trouble.

Resilience wanes sometimes. Therefore, to stay resilient, you must feed your confidence by surrounding yourself with only those who encourage you.

Resilience:

16. Make affirmations every day.

This is as easy as looking in the mirror each morning and making “I am” statements to yourself. For example, you can say,

  • “I AM beautiful.”
  • “I AM smart.”
  • “I AM better than what they say.”
  • “I AM a good person.”
  • “I AM worthy of love and friendship.”
  • “I deserve respect and dignity.”

There are many affirmations you can choose to tell yourself. This may be awkward at first. However, the longer you practice this technique, the more natural it will feel.

And, most importantly, the better you will feel about yourself. This produces resilience.

In closing

Resilience can determine the entire trajectory of your life. It determines your successes and failures because you need it to avoid giving up when times get tough.

Therefore, it’s crucial to remain resilient when you experience bullying. Thinking positively also helps. Remember that bullies want you to give up. They want you to quit.

Don’t give them what they want. Be someone they find hard to bring down.

This post was all about resilience and how important it is to have it when you suffer from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways