‘Want to know the difference between bullying and accountability? Here are all the details you need to know.
Some people tend to claim the victim role when faced with consequences for their bad behavior. Bullies do this all the time.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn the difference between bullying and accountability. You will also learn why consequences are needed to ensure a peaceful society.
Once you learn all about these essential facts, you will be able to confidently call out someone’s bad behavior. Moreover, you’ll be ready when they accuse you of being a bully.
This post is all about the difference between bullying and accountability. This is so that it won’t confuse you when bullies accuse you of bullying just for exposing their evil actions.
Trigger warning: Although I usually keep politics out of this blog, Bullying and politics go hand in hand. Therefore, a minimal amount of it will be touched on in this particular post. So, if you are easily offended, I would advise you not to read. If you do read this post, do so at your own risk.
The Difference between bullying and accountability
I received an email yesterday. The author of this email tried to shame me. They say that I called my bullies names and that it weakens the cause. Fair enough. They have a right to their opinion. And I respect their opinion, though I disagree with it.
In fact, I’m thankful for that email because it prompted me to write a post on a subject that has needed to be addressed for a long time now. It’s time that we learn the difference between bullying and consequences.
Bullying is about doing harm to someone who has done nothing to you. Accountability is about forcing someone to take RESPONSIBILITY for their bad behavior.
Most victims of bullying are good people who do not harm others. In fact, most of them have hearts of gold. And it’s why bullies and abusers take their kindness for weakness.
Bullying is about trying to hurt those who have done nothing to hurt you. You don’t have to provoke a bully.
Bullies are always on the hunt for victims. They go after those who have a characteristic they see as a weakness or someone they perceive as a threat to their power.
Accountability, on the other hand, is the consequences you suffer for bad deeds. It comes in many forms. People may call you out and expose you for evil actions. You may lose friends and associates, or your business may take a hit.
If you’re a kid, your school may suspend you. Also, your parents may ground you. If you’re an adult, you may lose your job or go to jail. When you try to attack someone, they may defend themselves and kick your tail up between your shoulders. Again, this is not bullying; it’s consequences.
And we need consequences to live in a safe and peaceful society.
The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:
When you Set out to harm someone else, you forfeit your rights to dignity and respect
The epidemic of entitlement on this rock blows my mind. Too many think that they can do all the violence they want, but no one is supposed to hold them responsible for it.
Moreover, when someone does impose consequences on them, the first thing they do is scream, “bullying.” Bullies are notorious for this. And there is a name for such individuals. We call them a “crybully.”
The term is a combination of the terms “bully” and “crybaby.” Therefore, you get “crybully.”
Here’s a fact that most in today’s politically correct world don’t want to hear. In fact, they’ll probably get angry and label me a hypocrite. But do what you like, I’ll say it anyway.
When you deliberately try to hurt innocent others, you automatically forfeit any right to respect and dignity. Criminals forfeit not only their right to dignity and respect, but also their freedom when they commit crimes.
However, today, schools and workplaces coddle bullies. And the powers that be coddle criminals with the infamous “Catch and Release” and “Cashless bail.”
In fact, media outlets try to shame us for calling these predators what they are. Names, such as “thugs, monsters, terrorists, murderers, rapists,” and a host of others, are considered politically incorrect.
However, to hold bad people accountable, we need to stand up to PC because it is the downfall of society. We need to grow a spine and start calling evil individuals and groups what they are (i.e., Antifa = terrorists), it doesn’t matter who they are or what side they’re on.
Tell them what they are because they gave up their rights when they did wrong to others.
The Difference between bullying and accountability:
Too many people want to cry “bullying” when someone exposes their bad behavior.
The truth is that bad people hate having their conscience thumped at. Therefore, they whine and complain when someone calls them out. They reverse the roles of victim and perpetrator.
Many use their minority status or sexual orientation as crutches. You know what I’m talking about. You see it every day now. And they do this because they’re nothing but cowards.
However, wrong is wrong; it doesn’t matter your race, class, nationality, or sexual orientation. When you hurt someone, all that other BS is irrelevant! The only thing that matters is that you murdered someone, or you physically assaulted, raped, or bullied them.
It’s funny how tough these monsters are when they’re hurting someone else. But under the threat of accountability, they turn into the biggest cowards.
It’s time we start imposing consequences on those who do evil. This is why I urge those who are bullied to defend themselves- to stand up to bullies because most people in power will not hold evil responsible for their actions.
Therefore, if you’re bullied, it’s your responsibility to set boundaries and ensure your safety. And no law says you have to censor your words when it comes to this. Call your bullies and other evil people what they are.
The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:
It’s time that we learn to distinguish between being bullied and being held responsible.
When you address someone’s bad behavior and they cry, “bully,” don’t buy it. Don’t let them shame you into silence or sugar-coat their actions. You say it and you say it directly. And if someone tries to harm you or your loved ones, you have every right to make them regret it.
And when they accuse you of bullying. You stand up and firmly say, “No! That wasn’t bullying, that was self-defense!”
The Difference between Bullying and Accountability:
VictimHood Does Not Excuse Bad Behavior
You see it all the time nowadays. Most baddies use past victimhood as an excuse to harm others. We’ve all been through bad times. Moreover, many people have suffered from bullying, abuse, and unfair treatment. However, it doesn’t excuse wrongdoing.
Just because someone victimized you doesn’t mean you get to go out and victimize another person. You cannot hurt people to get even with the world because it has shown its mean face to you.
Therefore, if you deliberately cause someone harm, you must face accountability for wrongdoing regardless of what you’ve been through. And copping out behind past victimhood only makes you look pathetic. The world doesn’t owe you a get-out-of-jail-free card.
It amazes me that so many people have the idea that when someone faces consequences for wrongdoing, they’re being bullied. And it’s why the term “bullying” has lost its meaning in the last few years.
Many seem to think that they can do whatever they want to others, then, when they get caught and are forced to face accountability, they want to claim that they’re being bullied? Ahem…no. There’s a difference between bullying and accountability. Consequences is not bullying.
The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:
Cancel Culture Reversed
Many of the original supporters of cancel culture are now being cancelled. In the wake of Charlie Kirk’s assassination, many people have celebrated the horrific way he left this world. Never mind that this man was a husband and father of two small children.
And it did not matter that this man was willing to have open dialogue with the very people who hated him. All that mattered was that they hated him, and they wanted him gone. They were not willing to talk it out, and no one could reason with them.
But that’s what happens when a person is demonized for so long. People believe the lies, and they don’t want to hear the truth about the person. It’s the same with bullying in school and the workplace.
No one deserves to be murdered, no matter who they are or what their beliefs are.
Sadly, to justify harming someone, Bullies must first demonize them.
Again, once bullies have succeeded in demonizing their victim, no one wants to hear the truth about them – that they may actually be a good person. And this is how bad people murder innocent people.
Many have posted vile things, films, and memes online about Charlie’s assassination. They’ve laughed, joked, and mocked his death. Or they’ve blamed him for his own murder. And, what they are doing is disgusting, it’s despicable, and it’s grotesque!
And why? Because he didn’t share their values and beliefs? There are people whom I disagree with. And there are those I strongly dislike. But I would never – not in a million years- cheer and celebrate their death, especially if someone killed them. Most human beings – real human beings wouldn’t.
Only demons from the deepest, darkest pits of hell celebrate murder. And now, they are losing their jobs left and right because of their evil online behavior. Those who supported cancel culture against others who refused to wear masks back during the COVID era are now being cancelled for their evil posts.
And they claim that people are bullying them. No! People are holding them accountable for vile online behavior.
It’s not Bullying, It’s Consequences.
During the last day or so, many people who celebrated this murder have posted videos of themselves crying and having a complete mental episode because they lost their jobs. However, they don’t realize that actions have consequences.
Now, most people like them may say it’s free speech. And I’m all for free speech. However, this is not about free speech; it’s about decency. It’s about being a human being.
When people speak the kind of evil they have about Charlie Kirk since his death, they reveal exactly who they are. Therefore, when they show themselves to be soulless and ghoulish people, no decent person wants to associate with them, much less employ them.
The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:
It’s not about politics, it’s about Right and Wrong
For too many years, people in power with bad intentions have politicized right and wrong. They victimize an innocent person, then play victim when they face consequences. And it’s a shame. But wrong is wrong, no matter how you politicize it.
And when you do wrong, there are consequences for it. Therefore, accountability is not bullying. We call this responsibility.
Rest in Jesus’ arms, Charlie Kirk!
This post is all about the difference between bullying and accountability so that bad people won’t confuse you when they face consequences for their bad behavior by claiming that they’re being bullied.
1. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks
2. Bullies and Victim-Mentality: 9 Behaviors of Bullies Who Play Victim
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Aum Shanti
Thank you, Shanti!
Cherie,
Let me begin by saying I love the work you do and most of what you say but I hope I can respectfully disagree with you on a couple of things. First, of all the situation with Charlie Kirk there is hypocrisy on both sides. Yes there were a few people who “celebrated” his death but most people were appalled by what happened to him and many were indifferent to his passing. Indifference isn’t celebrating. I am going to be flat out open with this. I found many of Kirk’s comments through the years racist. And when he said things like a few deaths for the 2nd Amendment are okay or part of it, then there is some tragic irony there. He also made a comment stating the guy who attacked Nancy Pelosi’s husband should be bailed out of jail. Those are his words yet Christians never mention that. I didn’t see a lot of post regarding Melissa Hortman and her husband being shot and even their dog. Or the fact that children were shot at school on the same day. Where were most of the posts and comments regarding those tragedies? Neither one was less important or more important. I mourn ALL of it yet we somehow turned it into politics. Christians and good people should be talking about all of it. This should transcend politics and religion yet it didn’t. And I do think your post here frankly shows some bias. No offense.
In terms of name calling. If someone sent you an email regarding that, ummm I actually see both sides of that. Bullying is horrible and I am a firm believe and support sticking up for one’s self. If someone bullies you, stand up to them absolutely mentally, verbally, physically. However, if one is advocating against bullying and then writing posts where there is name calling (and I am not familiar enough with all your posts, I have read some not all) against ones bullies or adversaries then it does hurt the message. I am not saying you do that at all, I would say that to anyone! Because one of the issues of bullying is some people (most people) loathe being bullied obviously but it doesn’t bother than as much when they are the ones doing the bullying or name calling as long as it isn’t directed toward them.
I can respect your position. However, calling bullies what they are – creeps, cowards, and idiots, etc., is not wrong. It’s what they are. And it doesn’t matter what side you’re on, wrong is wrong. You don’t cheer, mock, or celebrate murder, then cry when people see it, and you lose your job. No, Charlie Kirk was not perfect. He sinned just like the rest of us. But he was a human being and didn’t deserve to die like that. I don’t know about any of the comments you say he made. But he didn’t deserve what happened to him, and the people who celebrated it are evil and now they’re facing consequences for that.
Of course he didn’t deserve that! All I am saying is neither did Melissa Hortman and her husband and pet. Neither did the children in the mass shootings. Neither did any of them. Yet you had people go nuts about Charlie Kirk but ignored others. We all have to be better about that. There should have been just as many Melissa Hortman posts by Christians as Kirk. If we are decent people we should condemn all of it and not be selective just because someone fits our political or religious agenda. I hate what happened to Mr.Kirk. I hate would happened to Mrs.Hortman with equal anguish. I mean good grief, Mr.Kirk once said Martin Luther King Jr. was an awful person. Not he wasn’t perfect, Mrs. Hortman wasn’t perfect. None of us are but the outrage and coverage should be the same. I mean, good grief! There was another shooting of children at school, the day Mr.Kirk died yet the masses ignored that.
No, the lawmakers in Minnesota didn’t deserve it either, and I hate that someone thought they had to kill them too. No one deserves it. However, you didn’t have so many people spew hatred about them like they did about Charlie Kirk. And they weren’t as well-known around the world as Charlie. And we condemn every murder, no matter who it is, no matter how many whataboutisms people may bring up. And I don’t believe Charlie Kirk said that MLK was an awful person. If he did, it was his opinion. I can tell you that I don’t think MLK was a bad person. I admired the individual for addressing racism during a time when it was openly acknowledged. And anybody who shoots children is a special kind of evil.
However, I was addressing only the callousness of people against a husband, father, and human being. And the masses didn’t ignore the school shooting; the school shooting got very little coverage, and they weren’t informed. I agree that we need to be better. But that’s an empty platitude to people who have no concience.
Not trying to disrespect you but Charlie Kirk said a ton of racist things. No one should be celebrating his death but he made a lot of racist and sexist remarks. He could be a big time bully. That’s the issue some have and for Christians to defend that runs people off.
In terms of the name calling stuff, I have seen you do that. I always chalked it up to just releasing what you endured but there have been a few moments that made me cringe. Sorry someone apparently emailed you something rude! Let’s all be better.
He wasn’t a bully. Charlie invited people to have open dialogue with him, and that’s what we need – open dialogue. And not all Christians are bullies. Yes, we have bullies who claim to be Christians. However, they aren’t real Christians. As far as my “naming calling,” calling bullies what they are, “creeps, cowards, idiots, and any other name is not wrong. When you mistreat someone, you forfeit your right to respect and dignity, and the person you mistreat doesn’t owe it to you.
Thank you for your comment and I do respect your opinion. Moreover, I’m glad you voiced them to me. And know that I don’t judge you for it.
I am sorry but I call bullshit on that. He was a major league bully toward certain groups of people.
Which groups? Whether he was a bully is a matter of opinion.
The black community, big time! Let’s review things he said on his own show.
If I see a Black pilot, I’m going to be like, boy, I hope he’s qualified.
– The Charlie Kirk Show, 23 January 2024
If you’re a WNBA, pot-smoking, Black lesbian, do you get treated better than a United States marine?
– The Charlie Kirk Show, 8 December 2022
Happening all the time in urban America, prowling Blacks go around for fun to go target white people, that’s a fact. It’s happening more and more.
– The Charlie Kirk Show, 19 May 2023
If I’m dealing with somebody in customer service who’s a moronic Black woman, I wonder is she there because of her excellence, or is she there because of affirmative action?
– The Charlie Kirk Show, 3 January 2024
If we would have said that Joy Reid and Michelle Obama and Sheila Jackson Lee and Ketanji Brown Jackson were affirmative action picks, we would have been called racists. Now they’re coming out and they’re saying it for us … You do not have the brain processing power to otherwise be taken really seriously. You had to go steal a white person’s slot to go be taken somewhat seriously.
– The Charlie Kirk Show, 13 July 2023
He also made numerous comments about women being second class citizens, you name it. I am sorry but that’s not something to praise and as far as bullying goes, you state that’s an opinion on whether he bullies or not. I am very disappointed in your response on that and you are someone I respect but based on that mindset then the same argument can be used for every bullying incident or bully. I am quite certain most bullies are going to find a way to justify it.
Again, my point in the post was that we should not be celebrating the death of any human being, no matter who they are. Yes, Charlie stepped on a lot of toes. However, all podcasters and public speakers say things that some others may not like. There is still no excuse to celebrate their death. I wouldn’t dance on someone else’s grave, and this goes no matter how I may feel about the person who died. And I hate racism as much as you do. Racism is wrong and many of my closest friends are black. However, that wasn’t the point of this post. And anyone who says, “Well, what about this? What about that?” isn’t getting the point.
I am sorry Cherie because I have a lot of respect for you but you are not a person of color who for years repeatedly listened to the racist trash that spewed out of his mouth. Horrible! No he didn’t deserve what happened to him but indifference isn’t celebrating. Put it another way, ask someone who isn’t a Christian Nationalist or is a true independent voter and a MAGA or Progressive isn’t independent. Find someone you know who is down the middle what they think about Charlie Kirk. Kirk was considered a big enemy to the black community, big time.
I respect your beliefs and opinions, Kandi. I may not agree with all of them. But I do respect and appreciate them.
These are some quotes came out of Charlie Kirk’s mouth. I am just saying we shouldn’t be praising some of the things he stood for but I hate what happened .https://www.aol.com/articles/youre-wondering-charlie-kirk-believed-130017774.html
There was actually a lot of hate spewed toward Mrs.Hortman, Nancy Pelosi’s husband, etc. And that’s the point I think you are respectfully missing here is we are cherry picking outrage. It should be BOTH sides. Republicans accuse Democrats of celebrating violence to Kirk. Democrats accuse Republicans of celebrating violence to Hortman and Pelosi. We basically hear what we want to hear and that’s not good regardless of who is doing it.
I’m not outraged, Jill. But I call wrong when I see it. The point of the post was that no one, no matter who they are or what side of the aisle they are on, should not celebrate murder. We didn’t do that when I was growing up, and we didn’t do it when my children were growing up. And we shouldn’t do it now. Charlie Kirk said things that pissed people off. He stepped on a few toes. And he told an uncomfortable truth- that there are only TWO genders. But it doesn’t mean we get to celebrate his death. That was my point all along. And anyone who does cheer his death must face consequences for it. Instead, they’re claiming that they’re being bullied.
It is horrible what happened to Charlie Kirk, but it is equally horrible what happened to people from the other political party when it came to violence as well. What I am saying is where is the outrage there as well. What a sad state of affairs that the fact you can’t send your child safely to school anymore has become so desensitized that we call it just another day in America. And Charlie Kirk stated that some deaths are just the way has to be. I hate what happened to it but kind of ironic that is how he went out. If we are going to condemn violence. If we are going to condemn poor behavior, we have to call ALL of it out regardless of race, gender, religion, political party. All of it . And speaking personally when Christians don’t condemn racism then they are saying its okay. It is going to really blow some people’s minds when they find out at the Day of Judgement that Jesus was neither black nor white.
Violence isn’t acceptable for anyone, I don’t care what side of the aisle you’re on. And Charlie’s comment on “some deaths” was referring to home invaders who break into people’s homes and terrorize families, or robbers who try to rob businesses; those are the “some deaths” I believe he was referring to. As far as condemning racism, most real Christians do condemn it. I can tell you, as a Christian, that I condemn it wholeheartedly. I also condemn school shootings. However, I also condemn people who cheer for the deaths of other human beings and post it online. Meanness and wrongdoing should be condemned no matter who it comes from or who it is directed at. The point of this blog is to address all bullying, not some of it.
As always Cherie, your post is very thought provoking but so is the debate which has come from it. I strongly condemn murder, no matter who it is and what they stood for.
I watch events from across the Atlantic and see my country imploding. But the point you make is very true, nothing excuses bullying and bullies have no right to play the victim when they are caught. Crybully, I love it.
Thank you so much, Michael. That was my point. No one should celebrate the murder of any human being, regardless.
Wow, great discussion here with a lot of passion. I would like to respond to this. First of all, in regards to someone sending a negative email. I think all of that comes down to tone. I think one of the problems we have as a society is how a general difference of opinion on a societal issue turns into a personal attack. Sometimes we all probably can be oversensitive at times but there is a line there no question.
In regards to Cherie and the names for bullies. I don’t think she has singled out an individual person and called them names, just spoke in generalities. I do think there is a difference there. I think that is one of those cases where I see both sides of it. One, I don’t think Cherie has crossed a line with that but on the other hand probably not the best look for an anti-bullying site as words do matter. I think both sides were respectful on that.
Now, sigh, on to Charlie Kirk. I hesitated to even post but I feel like I need to offer this perspective. I am of mixed race. I have seen racism and prejudice and it hurts a lot but I try not to play the race card on many things. The fact is Charlie Kirk made a lot of far right extremist white supremacist statements. Many of the things he has said are offensive to non-whites and he generally is considered an enemy to black, latino, and other minorities in this country. He is being treated like a martyr. Flying the flags at half-mast for a non-political leader or someone like the Pope is a bit much. I don’t think any decent human being is celebrating his passing but by the same token, I don’t find much of what spewed out of his mouth very Christian. He was the counter of who Jesus was if you are a believer. I offer this perspective. When you are black and a police officer pulls you over for speeding, this fear goes through your head that you wonder if you are going to get shot or roughed up. I am not sure if white people ever think about that. That is the reality of the situation. Many statements he made were flat out offensive and I don’t know how anyone unless they are racist themself and find many Christians actually are can defend some of the repeated statements that came out of his mouth.
On the issue of people being fired who said something negative toward him. I do think if you libel/slander someone that is not protected speech and if you celebrate someone’s death then that is not a good representation of a company. But, if you show indifference as others have mentioned or you simply quote things he said/did and mention you don’t feel much empathy that is protected speech. When Charlie Kirk stated the person who attacked Mr.Pelosi should be bailed out of jail why was he not called out on that? When he stated that some gun deaths were just the way it had to be with the 2nd Amendment, it is kind of ironic, he has been allowed to be a martyr when what sadly happened to him was absolutely the thing he often “preached upon.” It has to be fair to both sides and work both ways.
Peace everyone.
Thank you, Bradley. And no, I disagreed with what Charlie said about the Pelosi attacker. Violence directed at either side is wrong and sets a dangerous precedent. However, that’s another subject for another website. And I thank the person who sent that email because it presented something that needed to be addressed. Therefore, I don’t hold the email against them. And I’m glad you pointed out that I didn’t single out anyone or any group of people. I have called bullies what they are, and it goes for all bullies. But a few will get offended even when you speak in general terms. And that’s okay, too.
Yes agreed on both sides. But you know Trump the other day when asked about Melissa Hortman said , “Who? I don’t know who she is.” She was a politician and many had asked about her to him before. That is him making a complete ass out of himself. Period. He has never even called their family. And I am wondering if there will be any national prayer vigils for Trey Reed who was a victim of a race hate crime and was hung in Mississippi. I am sorry but I have about had it with self-professed Christians. Probably the most racist, hate filled people in this country.
There are a lot of people who claim to be Christians who don’t live up to it. Even genuine Christians aren’t perfect. We’re all human and we all sin. However, the trick is to stay prayed-up and repent. And repenting isn’t a one-and-done thing, like many people think. It is constant. Jesus was the only perfect person who walked the earth. And we’re not saved by good deeds or credit. You cannot “do” your way into heaven. His grace saves us. And he looks at the heart, not what you do. I can tell you that if Charlie Kirk’s killer were to repent and come to know God and have a relationship with him, he would go to heaven, and not only Jesus, but Charlie Kirk himself would welcome him.
Unlike a few other faiths, Christian don’t demand that you convert. Their job is to SHARE the gospel, not point fingers. They realize that God gave you free will and free choice and they respect it. They may not agree with it, but they respect it.
We’ve all made asses of ourselves at some point. And you can’t be Christian without stepping on a few toes. Right now, Christians are being persecuted more than ever before. And it’s tragic and sad what happened to Melissa Hortman. She had two children, and both lost their mother. I can’t imagine how painful that is. With that said, no one went public to celebrate her death. My point is that it’s wrong to celebrate anyone’s death, it doesn’t matter who the deceased is, or what side of the aisle they’re on. When people celebrate someone’s death, it becomes less about politics and more about right and wrong and about the lack of common human decency.
If you want to bring up past occurrences, let me remind you that people aren’t out burning cities and looting like they were after George Floyd died. Instead, they’re praying and holding vigils. That, in itself, speaks volumes.
Some very power people are profiting off the division in this country because a country divided is a country that can be easily destroyed. Communication, no matter how uncomfortable, is the only way to heal and unite. And the last thing these powerful people who are benefiting from the division want is for us to unite. But, again, that’s for another website.