be careful what you share with people

Be Careful What You Share: 5 Reasons to Guard Your Secrets

‘Want to know why it’s so important to be careful what you share with people? Here you’ll learn why it’s essential to keep certain aspects of your life private.

be careful what you share

Sharing too much information about your life isn’t only a sign of low self-esteem; it can also cause social trouble for you later. Why? Because there are toxic people out there who would jump at the chance to weaponize this kind of info against you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you should be careful what you share to avoid giving your bullies any fodder to use against you. You will also learn the kinds of things you should keep to yourself.

Once you learn all about these social faux pas and how to correct them, you will be able to protect yourself from bullies and social predators better.

This post is all about why you should be careful what you share and the types of information you should keep quiet about.

Be Careful What You Share

The first step to this rule is knowing what not to share. Here is a list of things you should keep to yourself.

1. Your Goals

Not everyone needs to know your goals. This is for everyone, but especially if you’re a target of bullying.

Many people trumpet their goals and dreams. They announce their plans without realizing the potential ramifications.

Additionally, if you’re a target of bullying, you have more reasons to keep your plans, goals, and dreams to yourself and work quietly. Understand that any time you announce your objectives and agendas, you place yourself at risk of being sabotaged.

Realize that your bullies are waiting, with bated breath, to destroy you. And, they would love nothing more than to derail you from your goals.

Be Careful What You Share:

Not everyone wants you to succeed.

You must realize that not everyone wants you to succeed. And that includes some of your closest friends.

Why? Because your success would force them to reflect on their own personal failures and shortcomings. If you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will be damned before they allow someone they see as inferior to reach success and overshadow them.

Bullies consider any success you enjoy as a personal affront. Any time you achieve a goal, you score a win, and when you score a win, you force your bullies into a place of lesser power.

It’s you who gets the recognition, praise, and glory, not your bullies. And they know it! In other words, you force them into the shadows while you get to shine and be recognized for your accomplishments.

This infuriates your bullies because they aren’t the ones in the spotlight! So, understand that the one thing bullies crave most is attention and adoration. And when they find that you’re getting more of those things than they are, it’s Katie bar the door!

IF you score a win, your bullies will make you pay for it.

Naturally, they will launch all sorts of attacks against you. Your bullies will make all sorts of accusations toward you. They’ll even bring up the mistakes of your past to drive you back into the shade.

You must see through their behavior. They only do it because their power has been threatened. And when a bully is threatened with losing power and being driven into obscurity, they reveal their true colors.

Therefore, you force them to expose themselves and their evil personalities. So, how do you handle this?

You handle it by simply staying above it. In other words, don’t react to the bullies’ foolishness. You deal with their abuse by continuing to enjoy your wins and successes and letting them stew in their own juices.

Just let them talk. Let them launch all the personal attacks they desire as they seethe themselves into a ball of madness! Because when they act out and spew nonsense against you, they only dig their own graves.

In the meantime, work quietly and stealthily until you reach your goals and successes. The more quietly you work, the less interference you’ll have from bullies and a few other toxic life-suckers.

And the fewer roadblocks you will run into along the way. And once you reach your goals, then you can bask in it, and with it, give your bullies the surprise of their lives.

“Your journey is silent, but your destination will be loud.”

2. Be Careful What you Share with people:

Good News

Good news is another thing bullies hate when it comes from you. Therefore, just to be safe, sometimes, you must keep your good news to yourself.

3. Your Successes

If you’re a victim of bullying, you can be sure that any successes you achieve will incite jealousy. Jealousy often leads to more bullying. Here’s why.

Most bullies believe that they are superior to you. Any time you make an achievement, they will see it as a threat to their power. Therefore, when you share any wins, your bullies will increase their attacks against you.

And they will do it not only to punish you, but also to keep you in your place. Therefore, it isn’t always safe to share your accomplishments.

Moreover, your bullies might convince others that you are bragging. In cases like this, please allow someone else to announce your success instead of doing it yourself.

4. Your Sex Life

This should go without saying. No one wants to hear about what goes on in your bedroom. When you share your sex life with others, you reveal yourself as classless. Also, you attract bullies who are itching to exploit that.

If you are a single female, your bullies may use it to paint you as a “slut,” “whore,” and other labels that attack the feminine virtues.

5. Be Careful What You Share:

Any History of Abuse

Bullies love to victimize people who are already suffering abuse. Why? Because when someone is abused, they are vulnerable. And bullies are cowards who go for the low-hanging fruit.

Remember that, in the animal kingdom, a pack of wolves always target the weakest animal in the herd to attack. Maybe the targeted animal is sick. Or, maybe the animal is wounded. So, wolves will zero in on that animal because they are the easiest prey.

It’s the same with bullies; they usually go after the person they deem the weakest. Therefore, someone who is or has been abused is easy prey. Why? Because victims of abuse typically have low self-esteem.

They’re least likely to defend themselves. Therefore, never tell anyone you were abused in the past unless it is someone you know you can trust.

6. Legal Problems

This is another detail about your life that you should keep to yourself. Even if it is as minor as a traffic ticket, bullies will find a way to exploit it. And your legal issues are none of anyone’s business.

It’s better to keep it private.

7. Be Careful What you Share with people:

Divorces or Breakups

No one needs to know about your divorce or breakup. Bullies will use it as confirmation that you are defective. And most people are judgmental these days.

It’s true that if you’re going through a divorce, it may show up in the local newspaper. However, you don’t have to be the one who announces it. Keep it to yourself.

8. Child custody

This is another thing to keep private, not only for yourself, but for your children as well. Evil people will rejoice over it because evil hates the sanctity of marriage and the beauty of family.

People who are jealous of you will see it as a form of justice. Again, some secrets should remain secrets.

9. Family Issues

This should be a no-brainer. Any problems you have in the family should stay in the family. Bullies will only spread it around and use it as confirmation that there is something wrong with you.

Therefore, don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know.

10. Be Careful what you Share:

Medical Diagnoses

Whether you were diagnosed with cancer or diabetes, no one needs to know except family and close friends. If you have a job, you may need to tell your supervisor and provide proof of your diagnosis.

This is understandable, as you may require time off work for hospitalizations and home recovery. However, many people, especially victims of bullying, may announce their diagnoses. They may do this in hopes of quelling any bullying.

However, it will only exacerbate the bullying. People are vicious these days, and they may rejoice over it. They may also bully you, hoping to make you sicker. Therefore, this is fodder bullies shouldn’t have.

11. Be Careful What You Share with people:

Who you voted for

In the past, people considered this a private matter, and it was understood and respected. It should still be private today. Why? Because today’s political climate is dangerous and, no matter what side of the aisle you are on, revealing your voting choices only invites bullying.

Therefore, keep that to yourself.

12. Your Finances

If nothing else, know this! Whether you are high or low-income, your money and bank account are no one else’s business.

Why? Two reasons. If you are high-income, you will incite envy. You may even bring resentment on yourself. If you are low-income, you will encourage pity, or worse, ridicule.

Therefore, your finances should remain secret!

13. Be Careful What you Share:

The Names of your Family Members

If people target you for bullying, the last thing they need to know is who you are related to. The reason for this is that bullies are known for targeting their victims’ families. Especially today!

Therefore, if you suffer bullying, you must do what you must do to keep your loved ones safe. Don’t reveal their names to anyone.

14. Your Home Address

Unless you want to risk bullies or their henchmen showing up on your doorstep, it’s best not to tell anyone your home address. With the doxxing culture that has washed over the world today, your bullies may find out where you live anyway.

However, you won’t be the one who gave the information to them. And, they will have had to work to get it. If possible, it’s best to keep your street address secret.

15. Your Phone Number

If bullies are targeting you, you don’t want them to have your phone number. Keep it secret and keep down the risk of any threatening and incendiary calls or texts.

5 reasons to guard your secrets

There are good reasons to keep certain parts of your life private. Here are five:

1. Reasons to Be Careful What you Share with people:

Bullies and other toxic people will use it against you.

Any traffic tickets, legal troubles, divorces, or other such negative situations are bully fodder. And bullies will gladly use it to poke holes in your character. The less people know, the better.

2. You might accidentally incite others’ jealousy.

Any good news, such as marriages, births, awards, accomplishments, and accolades, will only incite jealousy. For instance, if you are getting married, you may receive hatred from those who are having a difficult time finding a mate. People who have just experienced a breakup will also spew hatred toward you.

If you are pregnant, other women who want children and have difficulty conceiving will bully you out of jealousy. Women who have a hard time finding a mate will also give you a hard time. So, keep it to yourself until your expanding baby bump announces it for you.

Believe me. When you first discover you’re pregnant, I know how hard it is to keep to yourself. It’s an exciting time, and you can’t wait to share the great news. However, if you are a target of bullying, it’s not always wise. I found this out the hard way when I was expecting my first child.

Envy is an epidemic. Especially nowadays.

3. Be Careful What You Share:

You may lose out on opportunities.

For instance, if you are having legal troubles, you may lose out on job opportunities. Or, if people know about your sex life, you may lose social opportunities. Therefore, some things are better left unsaid.

4. Be Careful What You Share with people:

You may bring about judgment from others.

Any of the above secrets will bring judgment if exposed. And, whether or not they know anything, people will judge you anyway. So, it’s better to avoid making it any easier for them.

5. you may open yourself up to being a crime victim.

If you have a big bank account and you brag to everyone about it, it may reach the ears of criminals and place you in grave danger. Therefore, it’s best not to brag. Period!

This post is all about why you should be careful what you share with people so that you can raise your chances of safety and better avoid bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying 

2. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies 

how to avoid being gaslighted at work

How to Avoid Being Gaslighted: 5 Easy Tips to Protect Yourself

Would you like to know how to avoid being gaslighted? Here are 5 easy tricks to buffer yourself from the gaslighter’s spell.

how to avoid being gaslighted

Gaslighting is the worst form of abuse. It is the worst form of manipulation and psycho/emotional control, and it happens when bullies and abusers consistently feed their targets lies that cause them to doubt their own experiences and what they know to be true.

In other words, it undermines your perception of reality. Consequently, if bullies gaslight you often enough and for long enough, it can make you think that you must be coming unglued.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to avoid being gaslighted so that you can protect your right to stand up to anyone who mistreats you.

Once you learn this life-changing information, you will easily see through the tricks of any bully and become resistant to gaslighting.

This post is about how to avoid being gaslighted so that you can protect yourself from bullying and abuse and become like kryptonite to gaslighters.

How to Avoid Being Gaslighted

Nowadays, those with narcissism, abusers, users, and those with psychopathy (BKA, bullies) are everywhere, and they will try to use and abuse you. Then, when you set boundaries and stand up to them, they will become angry and attempt to gaslight you.

And if you’re not sure how to avoid it, they will turn your life upside down. Sadly, many targets of bullying don’t have this knowledge. Therefore, they end up brainwashed once the gaslighting has gone on for so long.

Once this happens, targets will then become victims. Gaslighters and brainwashers can be anyone. They can be bullies in school or at work, abusive parents and spouses, satanic cult leaders, and crooked politicians and dictators.

Although these categories of people are different kinds of bullies from different walks of life, know this! They all pull the same tactics. In other words, the game is always the same, no matter who’s doing the gaslighting.

Moreover, they all have the same goal- power!

Therefore, you must learn how to avoid being gaslighted. Then, you can overcome it and protect yourself from any future gaslighting.

Here are Five easy ways to avoid this evil tactic.

Avoiding gaslighting is easy once you follow these steps.

1. How to Avoid Being Gaslighted:

First and Foremost, Know yourself!

This is the most important thing you must do. It means knowing who you are, what you want out of life, and what you absolutely will not accept.

You must know yourself inside and out and be secure with who you are. And if you don’t, you must find ways to get to know yourself. And be patient with the process because it may take a while.

But I promise you. It will be well worth it in the end. Once you know yourself completely, you’ll have the courage to set firm boundaries. Additionally, you’ll feel even better about yourself for doing it.

2. Know what Gaslighting is and Recognize the tactics when bullies use them!

What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is a form of psychological and emotional abuse. It’s when the abuser does something abusive to you, then manipulates you to try to get you to doubt your own memory and experiences.

To realize when someone is gaslighting you, you need to know how to recognize the tactics they use. So, what are the most common tactics used in gaslighting?

  • Doing something abusive and then denying it when you call it out.
  • Attacking your self-esteem when you defend yourself against abuse, such as name-calling, minimizing the abuse, and ridicule.
  • Projection- when the bully projects all their shortcomings onto you.
  • Distraction- when the bully calls attention to your flaws to keep people from noticing theirs.
  • Victim-blaming- blaming you for their abuse of you. Saying things like, “You made me do it,” “You had it coming,” “You deserve it.”

These tactics are all gaslighting because they are designed to shift blame onto you. Therefore, when you recognize these tactics, do not take the blame.

Instead, you must immediately end the conversation, tell the person to stay away from you, and walk away. If the person is in your house or office, show them the door. Fast!

How to Avoid Being Gaslighted:

most common gaslighting phrases

Recognizing gaslighting means to know it when you hear it. Here are the most common statements gaslighters make.

  • “I didn’t say that.”
  • “You’re only imagining things.”
  • “That didn’t happen.”
  • “You need help.”
  • “You’re too sensitive.”
  • “Everyone agrees with me.”
  • “You’re overreacting.”
  • “Are you sure you remember that correctly?”

If someone ever says one of these things to you after they’ve abused you and you stood up to them, tell them to get away and stay away.

But what if you can’t tell them to get away from you? What if the gaslighter is someone you must work with? And what if the person is your spouse? Here are a few comebacks that shut down gaslighting.

Comebacks that shut down gaslighters

  • “The truth hurts sometimes.”
  • “I don’t see it that way.”
  • “Whatever.”
  • “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
  • “That’s your opinion, not mine.”
  • Responding with a question: “How?” “Like what?” “Like who?” etc.
  • “That’s your problem, not mine.”
  • “That’s your fault, not mine.”
  • “That’s on you.”

There are many ways you can respond to a gaslighter if you cannot get away from them. However, for these responses to work, you must not get emotional. The trick is to stay calm, cool, and confident.

3. How to Avoid Being Gaslighted:

Distance yourself from the bully (if possible).

This means having as little to do with the bullies as possible. Avoid the places they may gather. Put your hand up and walk away from them if they approach you.

Do everything you can to put distance between you and them. If they start running their mouths, don’t respond unless you see an opportunity for a good burn that will embarrass the bejeebers out of them.

4. See the bullies for the pathetic chumps they are.

When you realize that bullies are really a bunch of cowardly blowhards, their words will no longer carry any weight. Therefore, their gaslighting is least likely to affect you.

Realize that anyone who bullies others is on a lower level than you. And once you begin seeing them as inferior, nothing they say will matter.

5. How to Avoid Being Gaslighted:

Shut down the conversation and be on your way.

In other words, refuse to discuss the matter any further. Here are things you can say to shut down an argument with a gaslighter.

  • “I’m not having this conversation with you.”
  • “I’m not going to debate this any further with you.”
  • “This discussion is closed.”
  • “We’re done here.”
  • “You’re done. Bye.”

And when you use any of these responses, don’t waste any more time with the person. Quickly turn your back and walk away before they have time to come back with anything else. Leave them standing there looking foolish.

Never argue with a gaslighter.

Never! It’s a waste of your time and energy, and they aren’t worth it. You must realize that an argument is precisely what the gaslighter wants.

They want to drag you down to their level. Moreover, the more you argue with them, the more they can weaponize it and use it against you.

So, don’t allow them to waste your time. Stay above them.

The best thing to do is to walk away quickly and have no more to do with them. This is how you protect your self-esteem and mental health.

Also, you expose them for the creeps they are. And you teach them that you won’t play their childish games.

How to Avoid Being GAslighted:

Walk away and keep going.

They may shout as you’re walking away and accuse you of not being able to handle a good debate. They may even accuse you of being chicken. However, you know it isn’t true.

You also realize that they’re trying to keep the drama going. Therefore, their words won’t faze you, and you’ll keep walking.

This is how you avoid their gaslighting and protect your mental health.

I can’t stress this enough! Confidence is the number one deterrent to gaslighting. The more confidence you have, the less likely you are to fall victim to it.

You may be a target of bullies and their gaslighting, but you will never be a victim. Therefore, after so long of gaslighting you and not getting the reaction they want, the bullies will more than likely get bored and move on to someone else.

And you win!

In closing:

The first step to avoiding being gaslighted is to recognize the signs of gaslighting when it happens. So learn it, know it, and defend against it.

You will save yourself a ton of trouble and, not to mention, psychiatric bills down the road.

This post is all about how to avoid being gaslighted so that you can protect your confidence, self-esteem, and overall mental health from people who wish to destroy it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

3. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use 

personal space boundaries in relationships

Personal Space Boundaries: What to Do When Bullies Cross Them

‘Want to know about personal space boundaries and what to do when bullies cross them? Here are all the details you need to know.

personal space boundaries

Bullies don’t recognize boundaries. Ever! That’s why they are notorious for pushing them. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about personal space boundaries and what to do when bullies cross them.

Once you learn all about this crucial information, you will be able to stand up to bullies the next time they violate your personal space.

This post is all about personal space boundaries and ways to keep bullies out of your bubble.

Personal Space Boundaries

Bullies are notorious for violating others’ personal space. They make it a point to get too close. So, I want you to understand that bullies do this deliberately to intimidate and challenge you.

If you are a target of bullying, bullies will get in your face or stand too close behind you.  They will sometimes stand so close that their bodies are touching yours.

Again, bullies purposefully crowd you to either intimidate you, challenge you, or provoke you into a reaction. These violations are too blatant!

Zone Distances

Different zone distances are practiced based on our relationship with the people in the room around us. They are as follows:

Intimate Zone – (6-18 inches)

This distance between people is reserved for lovers, family, close friends, and pets. However, unwelcome bullies will also move into your intimate zone.

They do this when they’re feeling hostile toward you and are about to attack. Anytime someone you don’t know, don’t trust, or don’t like moves into this area, they are too close.

As a result, your mind and body will automatically go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Some bullies may also invade your intimate area to toy with you and get you to react.

They will then step back and laugh at your reaction. Therefore, call them out and let them know that they are in your personal space and that their behavior isn’t acceptable.

Personal Space Boundaries:

Personal Zone – (18-48 inches)

We stand this far apart at parties and social gatherings. If bullies stand in the personal zone, they are still too close.

Don’t be afraid to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell up!

Social Zone – (4-12 feet)

We stand at these distances from strangers, clerks, and delivery people. Bullies will easily be able to get away with standing at these distances from you.

Therefore, you might not want to react if you don’t want to look unstable. But still, keep a close eye on your bully just in case they try to move closer!

Public Zone – (Over 12 feet)

We stand at these distances when speaking publicly in front of an audience. Bullies can freely stand at these distances from you and not look conspicuous or threatening.

(Zone distances- “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” Allan and Barbara Pease – pp. 194-195; 2004)

Personal Space Boundaries:

So, what are THE ways Bullies Invade Your Space and What Can you do?

Bullies will invade your space and your territory. But you don’t have to take it. Here are ways they do it and how you can stand up to them.

1. Getting too close to you.

Bullies may loom over you from behind. They may get in your face. Also, they may stand over you while you’re sitting down. Sometimes your bullies will get so close that they physically touch you.

Understand that when bullies pull this crap, they’re trying to either intimidate you, dominate you, challenge you, or provoke a fight. Do what you have to do. Tell this idiot to back the hell up!

Understand that these types of bullies have unlimited audacity, and they do not respect boundaries! With people who are bold and audacious, you must take a stand!

Moreover, never ignore them or allow yourself to be intimidated. These kinds of people will only increase the behavior if you do

But here’s something you need to be aware of. Sometimes, bullies do this to provoke a reaction from you. They may try to trick you into hitting them so they can have a reason to fight you.

How you stand up to them is to call out the behavior and tell them to back the hell up.

2. Personal Space Boundaries:

Accidentally-on-purpose running into you or brushing past you.

One of your bullies may accidentally brush their hand against you because they’re spoiling for a fight. Bullies do these kinds of things sneakily.

Most bullies won’t overtly attack you because they don’t want to look bad in the eyes of bystanders and witnesses. Therefore, they do this to rattle you.

‘You see? If they can get you to attack them, they can make you look like you’re having a mental episode. Then they can gain sympathy and cause others to look down on you.

Again, call out the behavior and tell the creep that if he touches you again, he’ll be sorry. When you deal with this type of person, it’s always best to warn him first. Warning him aloud will signal to others around you that this asshole is provoking you.

Then see what he does. If he touches you again, knock the living hell out of him.

3. Sitting in your chair, leaning on your car, etc.

 Any chair we sit in or any object we lean on or touch, we nonverbally lay claim to. A dog will mark its territory by peeing on the spot it claims as its own.

People mark theirs by sitting, leaning, or touching the place or object they claim as theirs. Therefore, bullies will do the same with yours. They’ll claim your territory as theirs.

Therefore, tell the idiot to get out of your chair. If he leans on your vehicle, don’t ask him. Tell him to get off your car. And when you confront these bullies, do so in a firm tone.

4. Personal Space Boundaries:

Leaning in the doorway of your office, dorm room, or house.

Other ways bullies invade your territory are by leaning on your doorway. Therefore, tell them to knock it off and not to darken your doorway again.

5. propping their feet on your desk or table

Bullies have more nerve than an infected tooth. Another way of staking a claim to your property is to prop their feet on your desk or table.

Standing up to this is as simple as telling them to get their feet off your desk. Or you can reach over and move their feet for them.

Whatever it takes, let them know that you won’t tolerate that mess!

6. walking into your home without knocking or being invited inside!

This doesn’t happen often, but it does happen. Your home is your castle. Therefore, if anyone walks into your house unannounced or without being invited, you have every right to beat the daylights out of them.

Or, you can call the police and press charges against the creep for burglary. No one should ever walk into your home as if it were their own, and you should never allow it.

So, do what you must do to stand up to them!

7. Personal Space Boundaries:

Invading your privacy.

Bullies will very carefully observe you. They will eavesdrop on your conversations and listen for intimate details. Also, they may read your diary to find out your deepest, darkest secrets.

Bullies are notorious for snooping through your belongings. And they do it to search for anything that might damage your reputation.

They will even follow you to see where you go and who you associate with. Or, they may do it to intimidate or dominate you.

This is why setting boundaries is crucial. Because if you have no boundaries, people will walk all over you. And they will invade your space any time they feel like it.

You must protect not only your physical and mental health from bullies but also your personal space, territory, and belongings. Never be afraid to call the bully out if they violate either one!

8. Touching your property.

Your bullies may pick up your notebook and flip through the pages. Also, they may pick up your phone and begin scrolling. A bully may even rummage through your purse or pick up your jacket and go through the pockets.

If nothing else, understand this! When a bully puts their paws on your shit, they are laying claim to it. The unspoken message is, “I own your desk, car, notebook, and anything that’s yours.”

Never overlook it! Open your mouth and tell the creep to keep their hands off your stuff.

9. Personal Space Boundaries:

“Accidentally” damaging your property.

Bullies will tear up your stuff. Then, they will claim that it was an accident, knowing good and well they did it on purpose.

Bullies do this to dare you to do something about it. They also do it to provoke a reaction and make you look unstable to outside observers.

Therefore, call them out by loudly telling them what they did. That way, you won’t look so unhinged to any bystanders.

10. Looming your sibling or best friend. 

If your bullies can’t get to you, they will try going after and subtly harassing or attacking someone you care about.

Therefore, you must defend your loved one. And if you have to fight to protect them, so be it!

11. Personal Space Boundaries:

Giving you threatening looks from across a crowded room.

Your bullies may glare at you from afar. And why not, because who’s paying attention? The bully knows that, in a crowd, his subtle attacks are least likely to be noticed.

To counter these types of sneak attacks. You must be just as subtle as they are. For instance, you can mirror their behavior.

You do this by returning a hard, cold stare of your own. This lets the bully know that you’re onto him and that you won’t be easily intimidated.

Most seasoned bullies intimidate you by using nonverbal tactics. Why? Nonverbal bullying is subtle and least likely to be detected.

12. Stealing your Belongings.

I remember going on a school trip. Later, I found that my bullies had gone through my luggage and stolen fifty dollars, a dress, and jewelry from me while I was out of the hotel room.

Moreover, because there were so many bullies, it was difficult for me to confront the thief. Though I had a pretty good idea who stole my belongings, I couldn’t prove she took them!

Understand that bullies will steal your things if they think they can get away with it. Therefore, if this ever happens to you, you must confront everyone.

You can say, “I may not know which one of you took it, but I know that one of you took it.” By saying this, at least you are confronting the behavior. You’re letting them know that you won’t take it quietly.

And sometimes, that’s enough.

In Closing

Understand that when bullies claim ownership of your space, territory, or property, it only means that they believe they own you!

Therefore, you must let them know that you won’t tolerate having your boundaries violated. It may or may not change their behavior. But you can preserve your confidence just by letting them know that you’re onto them and you won’t take it lying down.

This post was all about personal space boundaries and the importance of bravely confronting anyone who violates them so that you can preserve your confidence and protect your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Threatening Body Language: 21 Hostile Cues to Never Ignore

2. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

3. Hostile Body Language: 17 Signs Bullies Want to Get Physical 

the difference between bullying and accountability psychology

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability

 ‘Want to know the difference between bullying and accountability? Here are all the details you need to know.

the difference between bullying and accountability

Some people tend to claim the victim role when faced with consequences for their bad behavior. Bullies do this all the time.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the difference between bullying and accountability. You will also learn why consequences are needed to ensure a peaceful society.

Once you learn all about these essential facts, you will be able to confidently call out someone’s bad behavior. Moreover, you’ll be ready when they accuse you of being a bully.

This post is all about the difference between bullying and accountability. This is so that it won’t confuse you when bullies accuse you of bullying just for exposing their evil actions.

Trigger warning: Although I usually keep politics out of this blog, Bullying and politics go hand in hand. Therefore, a minimal amount of it will be touched on in this particular post. So, if you are easily offended, I would advise you not to read. If you do read this post, do so at your own risk.

The Difference between bullying and accountability

I received an email yesterday. The author of this email tried to shame me. They say that I called my bullies names and that it weakens the cause. Fair enough. They have a right to their opinion. And I respect their opinion, though I disagree with it.

In fact, I’m thankful for that email because it prompted me to write a post on a subject that has needed to be addressed for a long time now. It’s time that we learn the difference between bullying and consequences.

Bullying is about doing harm to someone who has done nothing to you. Accountability is about forcing someone to take RESPONSIBILITY for their bad behavior.

Most victims of bullying are good people who do not harm others. In fact, most of them have hearts of gold. And it’s why bullies and abusers take their kindness for weakness.

Bullying is about trying to hurt those who have done nothing to hurt you. You don’t have to provoke a bully.

Bullies are always on the hunt for victims. They go after those who have a characteristic they see as a weakness or someone they perceive as a threat to their power.

Accountability, on the other hand, is the consequences you suffer for bad deeds. It comes in many forms. People may call you out and expose you for evil actions. You may lose friends and associates, or your business may take a hit.

If you’re a kid, your school may suspend you. Also, your parents may ground you. If you’re an adult, you may lose your job or go to jail. When you try to attack someone, they may defend themselves and kick your tail up between your shoulders. Again, this is not bullying; it’s consequences.

And we need consequences to live in a safe and peaceful society.

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:

When you Set out to harm someone else, you forfeit your rights to dignity and respect

The epidemic of entitlement on this rock blows my mind. Too many think that they can do all the violence they want, but no one is supposed to hold them responsible for it.

Moreover, when someone does impose consequences on them, the first thing they do is scream, “bullying.” Bullies are notorious for this. And there is a name for such individuals. We call them a “crybully.”

The term is a combination of the terms “bully” and “crybaby.” Therefore, you get “crybully.”

Here’s a fact that most in today’s politically correct world don’t want to hear. In fact, they’ll probably get angry and label me a hypocrite. But do what you like, I’ll say it anyway.

When you deliberately try to hurt innocent others, you automatically forfeit any right to respect and dignity. Criminals forfeit not only their right to dignity and respect, but also their freedom when they commit crimes.

However, today, schools and workplaces coddle bullies. And the powers that be coddle criminals with the infamous “Catch and Release” and “Cashless bail.”

In fact, media outlets try to shame us for calling these predators what they are. Names, such as “thugs, monsters, terrorists, murderers, rapists,” and a host of others, are considered politically incorrect.

However, to hold bad people accountable, we need to stand up to PC because it is the downfall of society. We need to grow a spine and start calling evil individuals and groups what they are (i.e., Antifa = terrorists), it doesn’t matter who they are or what side they’re on.

Tell them what they are because they gave up their rights when they did wrong to others.

The Difference between bullying and accountability:

Too many people want to cry “bullying” when someone exposes their bad behavior.

The truth is that bad people hate having their conscience thumped at. Therefore, they whine and complain when someone calls them out. They reverse the roles of victim and perpetrator.

Many use their minority status or sexual orientation as crutches. You know what I’m talking about. You see it every day now. And they do this because they’re nothing but cowards.

However, wrong is wrong; it doesn’t matter your race, class, nationality, or sexual orientation. When you hurt someone, all that other BS is irrelevant! The only thing that matters is that you murdered someone, or you physically assaulted, raped, or bullied them.

It’s funny how tough these monsters are when they’re hurting someone else. But under the threat of accountability, they turn into the biggest cowards.

It’s time we start imposing consequences on those who do evil. This is why I urge those who are bullied to defend themselves- to stand up to bullies because most people in power will not hold evil responsible for their actions.

Therefore, if you’re bullied, it’s your responsibility to set boundaries and ensure your safety. And no law says you have to censor your words when it comes to this. Call your bullies and other evil people what they are.

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:

It’s time that we learn to distinguish between being bullied and being held responsible.

When you address someone’s bad behavior and they cry, “bully,” don’t buy it. Don’t let them shame you into silence or sugar-coat their actions. You say it and you say it directly. And if someone tries to harm you or your loved ones, you have every right to make them regret it.

And when they accuse you of bullying. You stand up and firmly say, “No! That wasn’t bullying, that was self-defense!”

The Difference between Bullying and Accountability:

VictimHood Does Not Excuse Bad Behavior

You see it all the time nowadays. Most baddies use past victimhood as an excuse to harm others. We’ve all been through bad times. Moreover, many people have suffered from bullying, abuse, and unfair treatment. However, it doesn’t excuse wrongdoing.

Just because someone victimized you doesn’t mean you get to go out and victimize another person. You cannot hurt people to get even with the world because it has shown its mean face to you.

Therefore, if you deliberately cause someone harm, you must face accountability for wrongdoing regardless of what you’ve been through. And copping out behind past victimhood only makes you look pathetic. The world doesn’t owe you a get-out-of-jail-free card.

It amazes me that so many people have the idea that when someone faces consequences for wrongdoing, they’re being bullied. And it’s why the term “bullying” has lost its meaning in the last few years.

Many seem to think that they can do whatever they want to others, then, when they get caught and are forced to face accountability, they want to claim that they’re being bullied? Ahem…no. There’s a difference between bullying and accountability. Consequences is not bullying.

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:

Cancel Culture Reversed

Many of the original supporters of cancel culture are now being cancelled. In the wake of Charlie Kirk’s assassination, many people have celebrated the horrific way he left this world. Never mind that this man was a husband and father of two small children.

And it did not matter that this man was willing to have open dialogue with the very people who hated him. All that mattered was that they hated him, and they wanted him gone. They were not willing to talk it out, and no one could reason with them.

But that’s what happens when a person is demonized for so long. People believe the lies, and they don’t want to hear the truth about the person. It’s the same with bullying in school and the workplace.

No one deserves to be murdered, no matter who they are or what their beliefs are.

Sadly, to justify harming someone, Bullies must first demonize them. 

Again, once bullies have succeeded in demonizing their victim, no one wants to hear the truth about them – that they may actually be a good person. And this is how bad people murder innocent people.

Many have posted vile things, films, and memes online about Charlie’s assassination. They’ve laughed, joked, and mocked his death. Or they’ve blamed him for his own murder. And, what they are doing is disgusting, it’s despicable, and it’s grotesque!

And why? Because he didn’t share their values and beliefs? There are people whom I disagree with. And there are those I strongly dislike. But I would never – not in a million years- cheer and celebrate their death, especially if someone killed them. Most human beings – real human beings wouldn’t.

Only demons from the deepest, darkest pits of hell celebrate murder. And now, they are losing their jobs left and right because of their evil online behavior. Those who supported cancel culture against others who refused to wear masks back during the COVID era are now being cancelled for their evil posts.

And they claim that people are bullying them. No! People are holding them accountable for vile online behavior.

It’s not Bullying, It’s Consequences.

During the last day or so, many people who celebrated this murder have posted videos of themselves crying and having a complete mental episode because they lost their jobs. However, they don’t realize that actions have consequences.

Now, most people like them may say it’s free speech. And I’m all for free speech. However, this is not about free speech; it’s about decency. It’s about being a human being.

When people speak the kind of evil they have about Charlie Kirk since his death, they reveal exactly who they are. Therefore, when they show themselves to be soulless and ghoulish people, no decent person wants to associate with them, much less employ them.

The Difference Between Bullying and Accountability:

It’s not about politics, it’s about Right and Wrong

For too many years, people in power with bad intentions have politicized right and wrong. They victimize an innocent person, then play victim when they face consequences. And it’s a shame. But wrong is wrong, no matter how you politicize it.

And when you do wrong, there are consequences for it. Therefore, accountability is not bullying. We call this responsibility.

Rest in Jesus’ arms, Charlie Kirk!

This post is all about the difference between bullying and accountability so that bad people won’t confuse you when they face consequences for their bad behavior by claiming that they’re being bullied.

1. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks

2. Bullies and Victim-Mentality: 9 Behaviors of Bullies Who Play Victim

bullying based on mental health issues

Bullying Based on Mental Health: 9 Reasons Bullies Target Those with Mental Illness

Bullying based on mental health is something hardly anyone will discuss. Even the media is silent about it. ‘Want to know why bullies love to target those who either have or who others perceive to have a mental illness? Here’s why they do it and how you can stand up to it.

bullying based on mental health

The sad fact is that bullies love to bully those who either are mentally ill or are perceived to be so. Why? Because they are not only the easiest people in the world to target, but they’re also the most convenient victims.

In this post, you will learn all about bullying based on mental health and why bullies target those people believe to be mentally ill.

Once you learn all this essential information, you will not only understand the motivations behind it but you’ll also be able to successfully overcome it if you’re one of those targets.

Bullying Based on Mental Health

Have you noticed that bullies usually pull the mental health card anytime their victims stop taking their crap? Moreover, have you ever wondered why? Are you one of those people bullies and others have unfairly painted as a cuckoo bird? Here are the reasons bullies do this.

1. They’re the Most Vulnerable.

In other words, those with mental illness are the easiest to exploit.

Sadly, a label like this tends to have loads of staying power. Why? Because it’s the hardest to disprove. This goes double when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

2. Bullying, especially if it’s chronic, can make anyone an emotional wreck. However, it’s exponentially worse for those with poor mental health.

…and rightfully so. Hence, another reason the mental health label is a clever label for bullies to pin to them.

Understand that the natural human response is to react and defend yourself when attacked. Therefore, people can easily mistake any form of self-defense for mental illness.

when bullies label you as unhinged, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. In fact, they may know good and well that you aren’t mentally ill.

Remember that bullies are big cowards. Therefore, if they really and truly thought you were loco, they wouldn’t mess with you at all. Moreover, they wouldn’t come near you.

Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear. They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that a person who’s not right upstairs could rip their heads off and poop down their necks.

In fact, that person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich.
If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually and utterly batshit nuts, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them.  In other words, they do their due diligence to keep from setting that person off!

Therefore, the mental health label is used to make the person look bad. Again, anyone who’s bullied is likely to be emotional. And who wouldn’t be if they suffered constant bullying?

So, the victim’s emotional reaction to the abuse just makes it easier for bullies to stick that label on them. Put another way, the bullies use the victim’s emotional reaction to their abuse as confirmation that the person really is a nutcase. And sadly, it sticks.

3. Bullying Based On Mental Health:

To Further stigmatize you.

Your bullies are smarter then you think. They know that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap and either report them or stand up to them. Moreover, you just might expose them and cause them to lose face.

Therefore, your bullies will claim you’re a mental case. And why not? If everyone thinks you’re stark raving mad, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

In other words, if you have a reputation of being a nut-ball, the less likely anyone will believe you when you go to them for help.

4. To Silence and subdue you.

The mental health label does two things. First, it makes you afraid to stand up to your bullies or speak out about their abuse. Secondly, it keeps their reputations spotless why trashing yours

. Bullies aren’t clueless. They know that if people think you’re bananas, they won’t believe you. Moreover, they figure that you may make a few attempts to report them, only to be rebuffed. Once enough people either ignore or rebuff you, you’ll eventually grown too afraid to open your mouth.

Therefore, they use the mental health label to shut you up and keep you under control.

Also, you’ll also be too afraid to fight back. Why? Because, if you do, you know that the bullies will only use the label to reverse roles and play victim.

Then, others will only assume that you went postal and either hurt those poor, innocent bullies, or you just threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re just “bonkers.”

5. Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Because they don’t have to worry about you defending yourself properly.

In other words, your bullies can never prove you’re mentally unstable. However, there’s no way that you can prove for certain that you aren’t.

Moreover, people have a strong tendency to see the worst in others. Therefore, the burden of proof lies with you.

Therefore, again, this kind of label is easiest to pin on you. It shouldn’t be this easy. But it is.

6. To worsen your condition.

7. Because they know that others are least likely to help you.

If bullies can cause you to wonder if you’re losing your sanity, the more likely others are to believe it too.

Therefore, don’t you doubt your mental abilities for a second! Keep speaking out. No matter what, you must stand up to this kind of bullying.

8. Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Because they enjoy your pain.

Most bullies are sadistic. In other words, they enjoy watching you suffer. However, these types of bullies won’t stop. They’ll only escalate the torment.

Why? Because your pain is like a drug to sadistic bullies. They’re addicted to your pain, and they can never get enough of it. So, they will inflict more suffering on you until you or someone else puts a stop to it.

Most sadistic people enjoy others’ pain, but they can’t handle it when they themselves suffer it. Believe me when I tell you that most sadists are the biggest wusses alive!

Therefore, you must stand up to them and impose consequences so severe that they won’t ever think of messing with you again.

9. Because it’s easier to bait you into an emotional reaction.

Mental illness can drop your social intelligence like a meteor. Therefore, you must work much harder to keep your bullies from baiting you.

The trick is to stay calm and cool when standing up to them. I know. Easier said than done. However, understand that this is doable and that you can do it. Only you’ll need to work much harder at it.

Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Bullies Don’t Think You’re Mentally imbalanced. They Think you’re weak.

In fact, your bullies most likely know that you’re just as sane as the next person. They also know that you aren’t strong enough to keep them away.

However, here’s another things that bullies also know.

Weakness and helplessness have a certain allure and appeal. And this allure and appeal raises the chances of others coming to your aid. Therefore, your bullies are afraid that others just might feel compelled to come to your aid.

Realize that helplessness sparks a natural tendency to want to take care of the helpless person. On the other hand, people are less likely to help the person they deem loony.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they label you mentally unstable to strip you of the allure and appeal of weakness and helplessness.

There’s a method behind the Exploitation of mental instability

Again, in labeling you a nutcase and making it stick, bullies are better able to avoid accountability. Moreover, if they can dodge responsibility, then they get to continue abusing you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, if you’re aware of the motives behind that label, the better you’ll be able to catch it and counter your bullies with it.

Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Bullies will often bait you into looking unhinged.

For example, your bullies provoke you into a reaction. Next, others walk in on you as you’re telling your bullies where to stick it. In other words, these so-called witnesses only catch the tail end of the confrontation.

And sadly, they draw the wrong conclusions. Therefore, if this happens to you, understand that this is what your bullies were counting on!!!

They do this all the time to discredit you and cover their behinds when they know they’re wrong! If they can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you report it?

And who’ll speak on your behalf the next time you let the bullies have it? They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There she goes again! She’s having another mental episode! That girl has gone completely batshit!”

How to Counter the Mental Health Label

Don’t fall for it! Stand up to them! Look them in the eye, and you tell them,
“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there slack-jawed. If they follow you and ask, “What’s your problem?” Keep walking and don’t explain it to them.

They’re not five years old, they already know, and you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. Say as little as possible.

Or you can tell them, “You know what my problem is!”  If your bullies continue to follow you and ask, “What did we do to you?” You can say, “You know what you did! Now get bent!”

But nothing more than that.

Bullying Based on Mental Health:

Keep your cool when standing up to your bullies.

Don’t beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm, but don’t yell. Yelling makes you look like a basket case.

The bully may not change their ways and their attitude toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

This post was all about Bullying based on mental health so that you can understand why your bullies target you and stand up to your bullies without inviting any stigma or stereotypes.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Bullying Those with Mental Illness: 9 Reasons Why People Do It 

3. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

4. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma: 5 Reasons Bullies Use It

5. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

bullying research introduction

Bullying Research: 5 Reasons to Study and Learn about Bullying

‘Want to know how bullying research can give you the knowledge to protect yourself psychologically and physically? Here is all the information you need to know.

bullying research

Knowing about bullying is the best way to protect yourself from it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the importance of bullying research so that you can read up on it and get the knowledge you need to defend yourself should you find yourself in the crosshairs of a bully.

Once you learn all about these crucial details and why knowing is vital, you will be a more challenging target for bullies, and they will avoid you and select someone who isn’t so knowledgeable.

This post is all about bullying research so that you can better protect yourself against bullies.

Bullying Research

Knowledge is power! Therefore, if you suffer from bullying at school, at work, or anywhere, doing your research on bullying is the first step in defending yourself against it.

Learning about Bullying and the Power Dynamic

I began researching bullying in the early to mid-nineties. The goal was to learn everything there was to know about it.

I wanted to know why people bully and what drives bullies to single out certain people. Also, I was curious about what bullies look for in victims, how bullying affects different people, and what characteristics determine victim selection.

Why? Because it is better to learn from it than to let it traumatize you.

How the Learning Began

During the nineties, I went through countless library books, magazine articles, news columns, anything relating to the subject of bullying. I read about the different personalities of bullies, bystanders, and victims.

I also pored through books and articles about politics, social infrastructures, and the power dynamic.

Also, I consulted my PC and reviewed numerous online articles and essays on the subject. I begin with Tim Field and bullyonline.org, based in the UK.

I remember emailing him with many questions on bullying, and he always replied curiously and promptly. From him, I learned so much.

I was surprised to find that so many others had suffered bullying as well. They were celebrities, musicians, writers, doctors, attorneys, teachers, homemakers, people from all walks of life.

I am saddened that Mr. Field is no longer with us and that his website was taken down. I will be forever grateful to him for sharing his expertise. He was the encouragement I needed to learn more about the subject.

Bullying Research:

Knowledge was the turning point.

In my years of research, I’ve attained a vast wealth of knowledge on bullying. Moreover, this is knowledge which has served me well both professionally and socially.

In my in-depth study of bullies, I have gained so much insight into the minds and personalities of my former classmates and all bullies.

In reading countless testimonies of victims and survivors, I realize that none of it was all in my head. None of it was my fault, as my classmates and a few of my teachers had cruelly forced me to believe.

Bullying is timeless and universal.

Bullying and the tactics used, from whisper campaigns to witch hunts to threats of bodily harm, have gone on since the beginning of time. It’s nothing new.

During the years I was bullied in school, I had tried reporting it. Also, I had tried speaking out only to be ignored, shamed, retaliated against, and blamed for it. But this is also nothing new.

Because no one would listen, I grabbed a pen. I began writing in a daily journal about the daily bullying I suffered at school. Why? Because I needed a record of the abuse in case the bullies at school hurt me so badly that I’d need hospitalization or worse, murder me.

I even had one of my journals taken from me by a teacher in the eighth grade, and I never saw it again. Luckily, I kept a backup hidden at home and didn’t lose anything.

By the time I switched schools during my senior year, I had filled several journals with countless stories. They were those of social aggression, emotional torment, and brutal beatings dished out by my classmates.

Bullying Research:

The Beginnings of the first Memoir

I kept those journals put away in a storage bin for decades because I knew that one day, I would write a book about my experiences. That book, “From Victim to Victor: A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying,” is now published and available.

With knowledge comes power. If you’ve had something terrible happen in your life- something so awful that it deeply affected your life, learn about it instead of agonizing over it.

Instead of being angry over something that happened in the past, learn as much as you can about it. Then use it to protect yourself from any future bullying.

Also, you can use it to help others who are going through the same. I guarantee that it will bring healing, unlike anything you can imagine!

Nothing heals you like taking on adversity and learning from it. You can use it as a weapon against future bullies and to help other victims! Try it! You’ll be glad you did!

your bullies will no longer scare you. They will bore you.

If only your bullies had a clue. If only they knew what sniveling cowards they are. And, if only they realized that some of us are smarter than they think. Bullies don’t realize that some people can see right through them.

They can’t see what some people see behind their pathetic attempts to look bigger, better, and brighter than they really are. Because if they did, they would want to crawl into a hole somewhere and hide.

In their feeble attempts to instill fear in and control others through yelling, screaming, and cursing tirades, they look like basket cases. Through their passive-aggressive dirty looks, scowls, and eye-rolls, bullies don’t look all-powerful. They only look desperate.

Their relentless jockeying for power only gives them the appearance of weakness and desperation, not strength and ambition.

Bullying Research:

IF you do your research, you will learn that Bullies are weak and pathetic.

Their threats toward anyone smaller or weaker only expose their fear. Why? Because they would never risk going toe to toe with someone of equal power. And the sad truth is that bullies know it too.

They use victims to hide from the truth of their insecurities. Bullies hide behind victims like a baby hides behind its mother’s skirt.

Their pitiful attempts to use others as a shield to conceal their flaws make them look exactly as they are. They are fakes, frauds, and impostors.

The bullies’ false bravado only proves that they’re not to be taken seriously. It only evidences their pathetic self-loathing.

Bullying Research:

Realize that you are much better off than your bullies.

Knowing that bullies must expend so much energy to hide their true selves? It will make you scoff at them. And knowing they must work so hard to keep others down only makes you laugh behind their backs.

Why? Because you don’t have to work as they do.

Think about it. Most bullies bully in groups. And they always select one person to bully. Therefore, it takes all of them to try to bring down one person. I’m laughing as I type this.

Most targets are comfortable being themselves. Therefore, you can save your energy to create your own happiness and success. It’s so sad that bullies can’t.

Bullies are pitiful. Why? Because their hatred for you burns them up inside. It eats away at their souls and blocks them from any peace and happiness they might otherwise attain.

So, even as your bullies unleash their vitriol on you, you don’t hate them. Why? Because they’re not worth the energy it takes to hate.

Once you learn what bullying is really about, you’ll only pity your bullies.

You’ll only feel sorry for them. Why? Because you will know that at their very core, they’re miserable human beings. And you will realize that your bullies will never achieve growth and become better people.

You will figure out that behind your bullies’ made-up faces and fancy clothes and hairdos, there’s no substance. There’s no authenticity or anything solid.

You’ll discover that the only thing behind their weak and shaky facades is hot air! Nothingness! Dead space!

Bullying Research:

Seeing Behind the Veil of Perfection

Though your bullies paint themselves as most valuable, they bring nothing to the table. They may glitter and sparkle, but not all that glitters is gold. It’s only fool’s gold.

Bullies tear people down, undermine their creativity, and take credit for their ideas. But only because they aren’t smart enough to be original. They never had an original thought in their entire lives!

If you are a target of bullying, you will be thankful you gained this knowledge.

There are so many other things you will learn about bullies. You will discover that bullies only surround themselves with people just like them. They will attract coattail hitchhikers who are unable to think for themselves. They will draw in wannabes who’ll jump through a thousand hoops to make “the right people” like and favor them.

Your bullies will be magnets for people who are nothing but followers, drones, lackeys, and patsies. In a nutshell, they’re only losers disguised as winners.

You will get free entertainment from your BULLIES’ trash talk.

Bullies will talk so much garbage. But instead of making you feel bad, they’ll only give you free entertainment. Why? Because you will see that talk is cheap and that’s all your bullies can do.

Also, you’ll discover that they’re right about one thing. You are different from them. You’re nothing like any of them. And you will be proud of that!

You’ll be thankful that people like you don’t need lackeys and followers. Why? Because you can improvise, adapt to, and overcome anything. And the best part will be that you have your bullies to thank for that!

Bullying research:

You will make your bullies your motivators.

‘You see? Bullies can teach you how to be inventive. You’re creative because you have to be.

Your bullies can teach you how to get around any roadblock or barrier placed in your path. How? You might ask? They give you plenty of practice!

Your bullies can give you grit. They can give you the strength to weather the storms in life, to stay the course, and to live a better and more rewarding life.

Bullies can make you determined to get what you want out of life. In trying to break you down, they can set you on your path to success. And, without meaning to!

While they stay in their comfort zones and live mediocre lives, you’re willing to endure a little discomfort. Why?

Because you know that’s what it takes to expand your horizons and live an extraordinary life. And you know that it will pay off one day.

While your bullies followed the latest fads and trends, you were developing those of the future.

Bullying Research:

Once you learn about bullies and bullying, you will embrace their hatred of you.

Your bullies may have brought you down, but they won’t keep you down. In the end, you may rise higher than they could ever imagine. And that will be another reason they hate you.

But the fun part is, you will welcome and embrace your bullies’ hatred. This is what happens when you do your research and learn as much about bullying as you can.

You learn why people bully and where the behavior comes from. And you can debunk any myths about bullying. You’ll also understand where their power really comes from and the stuff bullies try to hide.

Then you will realize just how pathetic bullies really are. And, once you do, their games will no longer faze you.

This post was all about bullying research and the power of knowledge to compel you to learn everything you can about bullies and bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Myths: 5 Widely-Held Beliefs about Bullies and Victims

2. Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

3. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

haters gonna hate

Haters: 13 Tactics They Use to Bring You Down

Haters gonna hate. ‘Want to know the tactics they use to bring you down? Here are all the maneuvers you need to know.

haters

Haters can make life difficult. But what if I told you that having them was a good thing?

In this post, you will learn all about haters and the tactics they use to bring you down.

Once you learn all about these confidence-building details, you will be able to remain calm and cool because it will be easier not to let them faze you.

This post is all about haters, why they’re a great thing to have, and the tactics they use to bring you down so that you can feel good about having them.

Haters

So, what is a hater? Here are two definitions from dictionary.com.

“1. a person who has an intense dislike for another person or thing (often used in combination).”

“2. Informal.  A person who thrives on showing hate toward, criticizing, or belittling other people or things, usually unfairly.”

Anyone can have haters. Even celebrities have them. Therefore, if you feel down because you have them, don’t.

Instead, feel good about it because you must have a lot of power if you can upset someone without provoking them. Your presence alone can rile some people. That’s power!

However, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to watch your back. Here are all the tactics they will use to bring you down and how you can turn the tables on them.

Why DO PEOPLE HATE YOU?

There are many reasons why some people hate. And they don’t need a good reason to do it. I’ve learned from experience that jealousy drives most haters.

For instance, you may have a personality trait that they only wish they had. Maybe you are outgoing, and people like you because of your confidence. It could be that you are brilliant and you excel in school.

Maybe you’re successful on the job. Or you’re attractive. And perhaps you have talents and gifts others wish they had.

Again, when you’re good at anything, you will likely attract haters who will be itching to take you down a peg or two.

So, what are all the tactics these people use?

1. Haters:

Watch you and give you dirty looks

People who hate you will watch you closely. Why? Because they are waiting for you to fail at something. And when you do, they want to see it, then boast about it later.

These kinds of bullies are tired of seeing you succeed. They wait, with bated breath, for your downfall. So, they watch you like a spy watches a foreign operative.

They may also give you dirty looks. But it’s not because there’s anything wrong with you. And it’s not because you’ve done anything wrong. The reason they glare at you so hard is to intimidate you.

How you stand up to this is to mirror the same expression back at them. In other words, return the dirty look. Let them know that they can’t scare you and that you won’t tolerate their behavior.

2. Copy you

Some of them will copy you. They may imitate your clothing style or the way you speak and act. However, understand that they’re only showing you and others who they are – a bunch of posers.

I understand that this may get on your nerves. However, don’t let it get you out of sorts.

Instead, laugh at them. And feel good about it. Why? Because any time someone wants to be like you, it only means they admire you, albeit weirdly.

3. Haters Gonna Hate:

Talk about you behind your back

These idiots will stab you in the back every chance they get. They don’t have the guts to tell you anything to your face. So, they must talk about you to others. And you will be the last to know.

However, don’t let it get to you. And don’t allow it to confuse or bewilder you. Understand that anyone who does this to you unprovoked is usually doing it out of jealousy.

Only they will never tell you. Because to admit that they’re jealous of you would be to realize that they feel inferior to you. And no way will they ever!

4. Launch smear campaigns

These bullies will launch smear campaigns to turn others against you and ruin your reputation. If this happens to you, a few people may indeed turn on you.

However, think of it this way. The people who turn their backs on you were never your friends to begin with. So, see this as your haters weeding out the trash for you.

They’re only saving you the trouble of finding out the hard way and doing it yourself.

5. Provoke arguments with you

When others try to start arguments with you, they’re itching for a fight. And it may bewilder you, especially if you haven’t done anything to them.

You must understand the reason they do this. Many bullies will do this to try to drag you down to their level. Therefore, stay above it.

How you stay above the pettiness is not to react, but respond. And do it in as few words as possible. For example, you can say, “I’m not having this conversation with you.” Then, walk away.

By doing this, you will make them look weak and yourself look strong.

6. Haters:

try to sabotage your progress

Bullies at work may try to sabotage you when they see that you’re a competent employee. The reason they do this is to make you look bad to your bosses and coworkers.

Workplace bullies may also point out any tiny mistake you make. Again, this is all designed to undermine your work and make you look like you don’t know what you’re doing.

How you stand up to this is to call out their jealousy professionally. For example, you could say, “Listen, (bully’s name). No one is trying to compete with you. So, there’s no need for you to act this way. It’s not very professional.”

When you say this, you diplomatically call them out. And you make them look guilty in the eyes of others.

7. try to block you from reaching success

This mainly happens in the workplace. For instance, you may be a candidate for a promotion. A meeting is scheduled for the next morning. And your bully may tell you that the meeting is at nine o’clock when it starts at eight-thirty.

And when you arrive, thirty minutes late, management may question your eligibility for the promotion.

Therefore, always get the answers to any questions you have from those you can trust. Also, read any memos.

8. Haters Gonna Hate:

try to embarrass and humiliate you

People who don’t wish you well may try to set you up for humiliation and embarrassment. In extreme cases, they may take compromising photos of you.

Maybe they sneak into the bathroom with their phone and take snapshots of you using the bathroom. Or perhaps they try to trip you as you’re walking into a meeting.

Therefore, watch your back. And if you know who your haters are, stay far away from them.

9. try to undermine any successes you’ve had

Bullies will try to downplay any accomplishments you’ve made. For instance, someone brags on you for a success you’ve reached. And your bullies say, “Oh, shit! Anybody could’ve done that.”

The best you can do is let them say it. Why? Because they’re showing others the kinds of people they are. Remember that haters gonna hate. So, why not let them continue to expose themselves?

10. try to one-up you

For example, one of your high school buddies brags to others about your ability to get a date. And he tells them that you seem to attract them with ease.

Then, your bully pipes in and begins bragging that he’s scored with x number of girls – more girls than you.

How you stay above this is to smile and let him brag. Because he’s only making himself look like a jackass and everyone else knows it. So, why not let the chump shoot himself in the foot?

You should always use your haters as your motivation to reach your goals.

11. Haters:

Act superior to you

Most haters hate you because they feel inferior to you. Anyone who feels inferior may try to cover it up by acting superior.

Therefore, you can stand up to them by gently calling them out. For instance, you can say, “I’m sorry you feel so inferior that you have to act this way.”

By saying this, you call out their behavior and expose their innermost feelings that they don’t measure up. Ouch!

And if you do it in public, that’s even better.

12. Pretend to be friends with you

Many bullies will act like a friends to get close enough to you to harm you. You must watch out for these kinds of people because they’re slick!

They have ways of chumming up to you without you knowing their intentions. And you won’t see it coming until it’s too late.

Look for them to ask you personal questions. Also, they may say and do things to get you to confide in them. Therefore, if you make a new friend, don’t reveal anything to them that you wouldn’t want anyone else to know.

You won’t know you can trust them until you’ve been friends for a long time. Also, you can conduct a little test.

Tell them something that you couldn’t care less if anyone knows. Then tell them to keep it secret. Let the person be the only one you tell.  If it gets out, then you know they shared it.

And you know that you can’t trust them.

13. Haters Gonna Hate:

Infiltrate your friend group

Some people who hate you may try to get on good terms with your friends. However, know the reason they do. It’s to cause division and put you on your friends’ bad side.

Therefore, be watchful anytime someone who has treated you wrong in the past suddenly ingratiates themselves into your group. And question them in front of your friends.

In Conclusion:

When you have haters, they have a sick obsession with you, your comings and goings, and what you say and do. Therefore, their viciousness says everything about them and nothing about you.

They will discourage you if you let them. However, know that haters admire you. Only they want what you have for themselves. So, they hate you because you have things they wish they had but don’t think they could ever have.

Therefore, feel good about it because there are good reasons you have them. Let it boost your confidence. But, at the same time, watch your back. And know the tactics they may use against you so that you know how to deal with them.

Remember! Haters gonna hate! So, let them hate! And use them as your motivation to reach your goals and dreams.

This post was all about haters so that instead of letting them make you feel bad, you can use them as your motivation to succeed.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 5 Reasons You Have Haters

2. How to Deal with Haters and Why Having Them is Good

3. When Others Tell You You Can’t: 8 Reasons They Discourage You 

confronting bullying in the workplace legal

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace: Endurance and Resilience

‘Want to know about confronting bullying in the workplace and how to do it? Here are all the details you need to know.

confronting bullying in the workplace

In this post, you will learn how to go about confronting bullying in the workplace from someone who did it successfully, so that you can avoid losing your job or career.

Once you learn all about this crucial information, you won’t be such an easy target for any bully at work who comes for you.

This post is all about confronting bullying in the workplace so that you can emerge victorious.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace

Very few people ever come out the winner if they’re a target of bullying in the workplace. I say this because when I worked in a toxic and poisonous work environment, I saw so many people who fell victim.

Droves of innocent workers lost their jobs and some, their careers. All because of a clique of mentally deranged coworkers who had gained power they had no business having.

These employees were the best and the kindest people. And my heart broke for them. It still does when I think back.

A New Job

In late 2007, I began working for a sanitation company that contracted with Shady Grove Living Center in Oakley. My supervisor, *Darnell, and my coworkers were the best.

Sure, we had our disagreements and our spats. However, I could never have dreamed of working with a better supervisor and team. And on many occasions, we’d have so much fun together!

Another great thing was that we didn’t work for the nursing home. We were employed by a separate company contracted with them. So, in reality, no one at the nursing home had any power over us, though they loved to think they did.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Watching and Observing

I was well aware that the site was very toxic. This is because I did not set out to make friends. And I didn’t share anything about myself to anyone. Instead, I wanted to feel everyone out first.

So, I stood back and observed the people and the goings-on around me. And during my first week of employment there, it didn’t take long to figure out who the troublemakers were.

From then on, I made sure to avoid the drama queens, the gossips, and the bullies. Moreover, I did my job and minded my business.

Fortunately, there was a long corridor between the actual nursing facility and the sanitation area. Therefore, we didn’t have to work with them or be around them much at all.

The only time I saw any of the nursing home employees was toward the end of the shift, when I would roll the laundry cart full of clean linens down to the main building to stock the linen closets.

So, for the first year and three months, everything went smoothly, and no one bothered me. I got along with everyone and they all seemed to like me a lot. That is, until I put one snarky CNA in her place for trying to be a smartass.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Standing up to the wrong person

This CNA, whom I’ll call Candi, had it in her mind that those who worked in the laundry department did not deserve respect. Most of the nursing home workers didn’t see us as human beings because we worked in sanitation.

After I schooled her on a few things, I immediately saw her face change. The smirk fell off and was replaced by a tight-lipped pursing of the lips. Her eyes became slits and her eyebrows furrowed. Then, Candi stormed away, and I didn’t see her again for the rest of the day.

Later, a friendly coworker told me that she had cried to her buddies in the nursing home clique. She even told me that she had overheard Candi shout to her buddies, “How dare she talk to me like that! Who does she think she is! Ooooh, the nerve of that bitch! It’s obvious that she doesn’t know her place!” 

My coworker, whom I’ll call Lucretia, also informed me that, after that long tirade, Candi left work. She took the rest of the day off as a stress leave because she was so upset.

And we both laughed about it together. Lucretia told me that I did the right thing.

“You stood up to Candi, and now, she’s super pissed. Don’t you love their outrage when you catch their shit and throw it back at them?” she said while laughing.

I knew why. Candi was the type who hated being stood up to by someone she deemed inferior. It was hilarious.

However, I found out that, right or wrong, talking down to Candi was a no-no because she had connections.

A Civil War at Work And A Nursing Home Divided

One by one, many people turned against me over the next several months. However, I was lucky. Several of my real friends knew how Candi was and had no respect for her. They were the people who had my back. Therefore, I had allies who took care of me.

There was a clear division at Shady Grove Living Center. We had the administrator, whom I’ll call Beau. There was also Cammie, the payroll clerk, and Harry, who was Cammie’s husband and head of maintenance.

Also, there was one maintenance guy, whose name was Jules, and two CNAs, Shelly and Cheryl, who were two flying monkeys.

On my side were my supervisor Darnell, all of my coworkers (except for one suck up), a charge nurse, and the rest of the CNAs who had my back.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

False Reports

At first, the bullies made false reports about me to Darnell. I worked part-time in the evenings. So, on the days after my shift, the third shift CNAs would complain that I hadn’t stocked the linen closets and they had no clean bed pads, bed sheets, or gowns for the residents who soiled their beds during the night.

However, I always thought ahead and could easily predict what these people would do. So, I made sure to pull out my cellphone and take pictures of all my finished work at the end of every shift.

Once I finished stocking the linen closets, I took photos of the shelves inside, chock full of freshly clean linens. I then took pictures of all the empty barrels that were marked “dirty laundry.” Next, I would clock out and go home.

Because all my images were time-stamped, there was no question I’d done my job. I took pictures every night, at the end of the shift. Therefore, I had proof to show Darnell every time they lied.

The Bullies’ Disappointment

When that didn’t work, the bullies only turned up the harassment. And word quickly spread that I took pictures of all my finished work.

In a way, it was funny because each of the linen closets was directly across from a nurse’s desk. This was where all the bullies would sit around and gossip.

I remember overhearing them make snide remarks about my camera and my taking pictures. I would only snicker to myself and give a cruel chuckle within earshot of them.

Harry, the head of maintenance, would talk pretty ugly to me. However, I knew I wasn’t the only one. Many times, I’d see him talk terribly to several others- even a few who worked for the nursing home. So, I didn’t feel like the Lone Ranger.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Beating them at Their Own Game.

Because I’d already been a target of bullying in school, I knew what to expect. ‘You see? All bullies pull pretty much the same tactics.

Only adult bullies are much more sophisticated with it. Therefore, I was able to prepare, stay a few steps ahead, and outflank them.

Bullies Committing Time Fraud

Soon, I began to witness a couple of the bullies in the clique commit a few illegal activities. On one occasion, I worked a double shift to cover for a coworker who was sick.

Early one Saturday morning, I saw with my own eyes Harry walk into the back door of the nursing home. He was dressed in camouflage and his bright orange hunting vest.

Harry crept down the hall past the laundry room, then stopped at the time clock and clocked in. He then filled out a bogus work order before leaving.

He didn’t return until late that evening to clock out and leave again. I’ll never forget the look on his mug when he saw me sitting outside on my last break as he drove by in his shiny new pickup.

And when I told Lucretia about it a day or two later, it did not surprise her.

“Girl! He’s been doing that since I’ve been here! And I’ll tell you something else. Brenda told me that Cammie’s been embezzling from this facility. And she’s been ripping off some of the residents who don’t have families. She’s been weaseling them into signing papers to leave their assets to her when they leave this world!”

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Illegal Activities

Everyone knew about it, but it seemed they were afraid to report it. It was also evident that Harry and Cammie were getting fat off the embezzlement, and not only those two, but the administrator, Beau, too.

We secretly referred to these three ringleaders of the bully group as “The Thieving Three.” Fran, Marilyn, Misti, and Jules were their lieutenants. At the bottom of this little workplace cabal were the flying monkeys.

There were so many policy violations and illegal activities happening right under our noses. Here are a few of them.

1. Beau would park his Winnebago on the property for Harry and Jules to do repairs on during work hours. Again, they would do all this out in the open.

Beau knew that most of the other employees were too scared to talk about it. So, why put in the extra effort to try and cover it up?

He would have the maintenance men work on his camper. And he would do this while neglecting any repairs the nursing facility needed. The maintenance guys would also work on his car.

You can imagine how much Beau was saving on auto repairs.

2. Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Fighting and Assault on Company Property.

Beau was having an affair with another employee. When her husband found out, he came to the nursing home to confront Beau.

And Beau invited him out to the parking lot to fight. The two men got into a brutal fistfight in the parking lot, in broad daylight, in front of God and everyone. And it happened while Beau was on the clock! Keep in mind that Beau was the administrator of the nursing home.

After the fight was over, Beau sent a harsh warning to all employees. If they uttered one word about the incident at work or outside of work, they would live to regret it. Because he would not only fire them, he would make sure they didn’t work anywhere else.

3. Embezzlement.

Beau, Harry, and Cammie were robbing Shady Grove blind! Beau made off with several hundred thousand dollars, as did Harry and Cammie. And they were moving up in the world quickly.

They were suddenly buying new vehicles and vacation homes on the lake. They began taking lavish vacations whenever they wanted.

Cammie was the payroll clerk and bookkeeper of the facility. She would take the money and doctor the books to make everything look legit.

Her husband, Harry, would clock in, fill out bogus work orders, and leave for the day. Then, he would come back that night and clock back out before going home.

They would also take as many days off as they wanted. And, it went beyond the allotted annual vacation time.

Cammie would also make herself the Power of Attorney over widowed and childless residents with no families. And she would do this by talking them into signing legal documents, agreeing to leave any assets to her and her husband once they passed away.

Cammie helped her teenage daughter get hired at the nursing home. The daughter was the person who passed the snacks, juice cups, and pitchers of ice and water around.

She fixed the wages so that her daughter would make twenty dollars per hour instead of the recommended eight.

4. Confronting bullying in the workplace:

Nepotism.

Harry and Cammie made sure that their children and family got first dibs at any available jobs there. When the nursing home hired these family members, they would receive massive hourly wages, anywhere from double to five times the going rates for the job.

It didn’t take long for the whisper to spread. However, we had to be careful who we talked around. There were eyes and ears everywhere.

Beau, Harry, and Cammie ran the place. Right or wrong, anyone who challenged them in any way, was bullied and mobbed out! And so was anyone who slighted or stood up to any of their favorite people.

Cammie was best friends with Candi. Therefore, she increased her attacks. More and more, she’d provoke me, but I wouldn’t bite.

She and the cabal instituted several smear campaigns against me and a few others, but we only doubled down in our resolve not to let them shake us.

Verbal Attacks and threats

It got rough at times. On a few occasions, the payroll clerk and a few CNAs threatened to catch me out and do physical harm. But it never happened, and back then, I went out all the time. I was lucky.

Although the provocations were stressful, I was able to put my hand up to her, tell her what I thought of her, then walk away.

Darnell was excellent! He was a quiet guy, yet firm when he had to be. Darnell was like me. He kept his mouth closed and observed everything that went on around him.

The man was much more intelligent than people thought he was. He knew what was happening, and he took care of us!

I could never have been more grateful to have such an awesome supervisor. However, this only made the bullies more desperate.

I remember a night when one of the flying monkeys, Shelly, a CNA, approached me in the hall from behind. She began screaming, cursing, and threatening to jump me over a ridiculous rumor.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

The Bully who Snapped

She threatened to attack me there on the spot, physically. And bystanders were everywhere.
When I turned around, faced her, and called her out for being unprofessional, Shelly only became angrier.

One of the bystanders was Deb, the charge nurse, and Shelly’s supervisor and buddy. She restrained Shelly, and I turned and walked away.

But I knew that Deb would sweep Shelly’s behavior under the rug and paint me as the instigator. Sure enough, she did. The level of gaslighting was off the charts. These people had a way of turning everything around to fit their narrative and getting others to agree with it.

A Supportive Boss

They reported the incident to Darnell and suggested that he terminate me immediately. When he talked to me about it, I calmly explained that Shelly had approached me from behind in a very threatening manner.

I told him that I feared for my physical safety. I also told him that I didn’t know what she would do if I hadn’t confronted her.

And by this time, I’d worked under Darnell long enough that he knew the kind of person I was and that I was only taking care of myself.

Once again, Darnell went to bat for me. Also, I had made an awesome friend out of Jane, who was another charge nurse at the nursing home. She, too, went to bat for me, as did several of my coworkers.

Each time nothing happened to me, the bullies only became angrier and more unhinged. Soon, they were all out for blood!

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

A Stalker

It was then that I started noticing Jules hovering around in the hall just outside the door to the laundry room. Later, I’d see him milling around nearby anytime I’d stop in the hallway to greet and talk to friends.

And I’ve got to tell you! He gave me such a creepy vibe! Next, I began seeing him standing across the street from my apartment, smoking a cigarette. Now that freaked me out!

I found out that he and the neighbor across the street had begun dating and that he was there to see her. She didn’t allow smoking in her house, so he had no choice but to smoke outside.

Still, I didn’t feel any better. I felt as if he was watching me.

There were other reasons he was hanging around so close. Jules was an eavesdropper for Cammie and her group.

He would listen in on our conversations in the laundry room. Also, he would eavesdrop on my discussions with friends in the hallway. Everybody knew it because he’d eavesdropped on many others.

My instinct also told me they’d enlisted him to watch my house. He was watching to see who came in and out of my home. The man was looking for any information with which to report back to Cammie.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

A Convenient Cover

Jules’ girlfriend was a cover for him, and they knew it. Although I knew what was going on, I didn’t speak of it. I knew I couldn’t without sounding nuts.

I did the best thing by keeping it to myself. The only people I told were my closest family, and they knew I wasn’t kidding. They, too, had seen the man standing outside my apartment.

Luckily, his girlfriend was a good friend of mine. I knew she only kept him around because she was lonely. So, I used it to my advantage.

I cozied up to her a little bit more so she would volunteer to tell me little tidbits about what he was doing. Sure enough, she confirmed my suspicions.

Days later, Darnell, having become a target of bullying himself, announced that he was resigning in a couple of weeks. He was moving on to a better job and a better work environment.

We were happy that he’d found something better and was getting out of that hellhole. However, we were also deeply saddened because we’d miss him so much.

We saw Darnell as our fearless leader and our hero!

Changes in Leadership

What kind of leader would the new supervisor be? And would they protect us from those devils down the hall as Darnell had?

Choosing not to leave anything to chance, I decided that I’d put in my notice as well. Thinking ahead, I knew that once Darnell was gone, I’d be at the mercy of every bully at work.

Moreover, I had a sickening feeling that the next supervisor would kiss up to the bullies in the upper echelons of management.

Cammie had long waited, with bated breath, for the day when Darnell would quit. Then, she could begin working on the new supervisor and turn them against us.

Sure enough, Lucretia only confirmed my predictions. She had overheard Cammie saying that she’d recommend that the new supervisor terminate three of us.

Knowing I was one of the three, I quickly filled out my two-week notice and gave it to Darnell.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Exit Plan

Darnell introduced us to the new supervisor. She was a short, dumpy woman in her forties. Her facial expression was hard and cold. And she looked at us with cold indifference.

That’s when I knew that putting in my notice was the smartest thing I had ever done.

Off and on during the last two weeks, I’d catch the new supervisor glancing at me. And I would notice those tiny micro flashes of suspicion and contempt.

Lucretia noticed it too. Once the new boss left for a meeting, she told me that she had overheard Cammie talking to the new boss. She told her that I sucked up to Darnell and was one of his favorite employees. She also “informed” the new boss that I had a way with male supervisors (wink-wink).

When word of my impending exit reached the bullies’ ears, they were enraged. And once I was out of there, I breathed a sigh of relief.

I was proud that I’d walked away from there with my self-esteem still intact. And when I left that toxic place, I did it on my terms.

And I haven’t told you the best part.

Six months after quitting

Six months after Darnell and I walked away from that cesspool, the shit finally hit the fan there.

I was outside walking my dog when a neighbor, who still worked at the nursing home, stopped me to relay some exciting news.

Beau, Harry, and Cammie, “The Thieving Three,” had all been fired from the facility only an hour or two earlier. The news had traveled that fast!

She told me that the owners of the facility had suddenly shown up. And they had all three of them escorted off the property.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

The Great Comeuppance

An Acting Administrator took Beau’s place. A temporary Bookkeeper/Payroll Clerk and Head of Maintenance took the positions of Cammie and Harry.

Over the next few weeks, several others were fired as well. The DON (Director of Nursing) was let go after stealing narcotics to feed her addiction to pain pills. So were a few other nurses.

The owners also terminated the dietary manager and several CNAs- who had all been loyal flying monkeys to The Thieving Three.

So many got the ax within a short amount of time. The owners cleaned that place out. After it was all said and done, I could count on one hand the people whose jobs were spared.

A Hot Topic

It was the buzz around town for well over a month. After the owners terminated them, Harry and Cammie were so scared and humiliated. They threw everything into three U-hauls and skipped town.

Surprisingly, Shady Grove never pressed charges. Others informed me that it was because the facility was afraid that pressing charges might tarnish its reputation.

Confronting Bullying in the Workplace:

Update

Harry and Cammie moved somewhere around Middle, TN, near the Tennessee River. Cammie ended up working for the County Medical Center there. She got a job in the same position she had at Shady Grove.

Later, she committed the same crimes there; only the Medical Center didn’t let it slide as Shady Grove had. They pressed charges, and Cammie was found guilty.

The judge sentenced her to three years in state prison, but she only served two.

I’ll never forget the tyrannical reign of The Thieving Three over the employees of Shady Grove. And I will never forget their downfall.

This is why I firmly believe that most bullies usually get their just desserts in the end, just as these bullies did.

Confronting bullying at work isn’t easy. But sometimes, you must let your bullies do what they do until they get too cocky, too careless, and end up falling on their own swords. Also you must gather your own evidence to protect yourself.

All names are fictional.

This post was all about confronting bullying in the workplace to encourage you and assure you that you can emerge from the other side of it AS a winner!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confronting Bullying: 4 Things Bullies Do When You Speak Out

2. How to Prove Workplace Bullying: 3 Types of Proof You Need

3. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

4. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

how to stop taking shit from people at school

How to Stop Taking Shit from People: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

Want to know how to stop taking shit from people? Here are all the things you need to know to empower yourself.

how to stop taking shit from people

When people bully you for long enough, there comes a time when you get sick of people’s crap.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to stop taking shit from people and reclaim your power.

Once you learn these life-changing details, you will be a force to be reckoned with when the next bully tries to toy with you.

This post will teach you how to stop taking shit from people so that you won’t be afraid to stand up to bullies and take back your power and your life.

How to Stop Taking Shit from People

When your give-a-damn bursts, you will know it!

If you are a target of bullying, there are times when you get fed up with people’s crap. Then…BOOM! You snap on some creep who pushed you over your limit.

Believe me, I understand. If this has happened with you, I cannot fault you for it. I empathize with you wholeheartedly.

It’s not that you want to fight because you don’t. You intensely hate fighting. However, if you’re a 5’4”, 120 lb. teenage girl with a target on her back, what do you do? Stand there and let them jump you?

Like most targets, I too hated to fight, but there were times I didn’t have a choice. It was either fight or be beaten within an inch of my life.

Not only would the girls try to jump me, but the guys would too. And most of those redneck brutes had no qualms or reservations about beating up on a female, even one who was little.

Some of the bullies at Oakley High threatened me with a knife or a box-cutter, and it’s a wonder I got out of there alive.

But that’s what bullying does to people if they don’t have the proper psychological tools, confidence, or know-how to deal with it. It makes them feel powerless. Moreover, it makes them desperate and puts them in survival mode!

How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Bullying throws you into constant survival mode.

In other words, it awakens your primal instincts. It rewires your brain in preparation for a hostile environment.

When you are a victim of bullying, you must live in constant vigilance and adrenaline. You must always be on high alert.

In other words, you must grow eyes in the back of your head and be prepared for danger every time you turn a corner. But it’s not normal to live that way all the time.

It gets both frustrating and exhausting after so long. And you will grow tired of it. You will become angry and bitter if you aren’t careful.

 After taking all you can take, you will show your booty to people. And you won’t just let off a little stream, you’ll blow a gasket!

The rage and bitterness only builds until it explodes.

Moreover, the longer you are bullied, the more it builds- the sense of injustice, the sadness, the rage. It all piles up.

We are all human, and no one can hold that crap inside forever. It doesn’t matter how resilient you are. It’s humanly impossible. You’re like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken up until it finally spews.

Like a dormant volcano that finally awakens, you erupt when that last creep sticks as much as a toe over your boundaries. Some people, you scare half to death, and they avoid you like the plague afterwards.

Others, you piss off even more and make them twice as determined to get you. A few see your tirade as personal entertainment. I did that a few times back when I was being bullied and abused at school.

There will be times when you yell, curse the bullies out, throw stuff, and slam doors. You will tell people to get the eff away from you and not to come back around.

Bullying can cause you to show the worst side of yourself. And when you do, the people who are there to see it won’t forget it.

How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Personal Experience

I remember grabbing one girl by the hair and beating the living snot out of her in the library. This happened after she’d spent the last month getting in my face and taunting during the last class of the day.

Another bully received the business end of a fist after attempting to shove me down a flight of stairs. I remember running back up the stairs, whacking her upside the head with a fist, a second time with my purse, then a textbook.

The next thing I remember is dragging her down the stairs. She seemed to hit and bounce off every step going down.

Then, once I got her to the bottom, I beat and kicked her until a teacher and three other students pried me off her. These were only two of the many incidents that occurred during those years.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not something I’m proud of. Each time, I remember feeling terrible about it after it was over, and everything had cooled off.

Everyone has their breaking point.

No decent person wants to lose their cool and act like a fool. However, when you’ve been pushed and pushed, there is an eventual breaking point.

Yes, I got into fist fights. I won some fights but lost a few too.

Sadly, it all seemed to be a cycle. After getting bullied and bullied for several months, I’d snap. Moreover, some of the tiredness bled over into my home life.

Sadly, when bullies have worn you down, you’re too exhausted to even be there for the people you love when they have problems, too. You’re fresh out of patience and energy, and yes, even love.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, and as a result, you don’t give a crap about anything or anybody. All you want is to be left alone.

How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Looking back

I look back now and realize that I didn’t handle the bullying the right way. Understand that if you don’t set healthy boundaries, this is what can happen.

So, how do you stop taking shit from people before it reaches a boiling point?

1. Set Boundaries from the very beginning.

In other words, you must stand up to the bullying when it first begins. Never wait until the bullying has gotten out of control.

Because if you keep taking shit off of people and then fight back after it’s gotten so bad, it won’t do you any good. Why? Because once people get used to treating you like crap, they won’t stop, even if you stand up to them. They’ll only double and triple down on it.

Once people have grown comfortable with bullying you, they won’t want to get out of that comfort zone. Therefore, it will be like pulling teeth to get them to stop.

It will take an act of Congress to get them to leave you alone. Start standing up for yourself now. You may be a target, but you don’t have to be a victim.

2. How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Use confident body language for the very beginning.

Don’t slouch when you sit or stand. Stand and sit up straight with your shoulders back and head held high. Confidence is your first line of defense against bullying.

Additionally, maintaining good eye contact with others is essential. Avoid looking down or away.

Do everything you can to look confident.

3. Take pride in your appearance.

Appearance isn’t the end-all, be-all, but it helps. When you look good, you feel good. So, dress your best and take care of your hygiene.

To put it bluntly, don’t go to school or work looking like you just got out of bed. Look your best and you will feel your best. And when you feel your best, you are least likely to take shit off of others.

4. Walk away from drama.

Anyone who brings you drama doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. Therefore, cut them off. Life’s too short and you have better things to do than to put up with people who bring you drama.

Sometimes it’s best to walk away.

5. How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

See your bullies for the cowards they are.

Realize that bullies aren’t happy people. In fact, they’re quite pathetic. Therefore, learn to see them for the kinds of people they are, and their antics won’t bother you as much.

Why? Because you will know that their behavior says more about them than it does about you. So, don’t give them the power to rile you.

In conclusion:

Take it from someone who has gone through bullying

Today, I’m a much calmer and happier person than I used to be. Why? Because I’m more assertive and I set boundaries. If I say no or ask someone to please stop doing something when they violate my boundaries, and they insist on continuing the behavior, I either tell them to leave right then, or I walk away after telling the person exactly what I think of them. I then cut them out of my life.

You should do the same if this happens to you.

I have learned that, although you cannot control another person’s behavior, you do have control over your own and whether to continue having them in your life. And if you refuse to associate with a person, they no longer have easy access to you. Therefore, it’s not nearly as easy for them to get to you and harm you.

So, never allow people to bully you and get out of control with their abuse. Speak out when people violate your boundaries. It’s the only way to keep the pressure from building and reaching a boiling point.

This post was all about how to stop taking shit from people so that you can reclaim your peace and take back your power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2. “You Ain’t Shit!” – 5 Reasons Why Bullies Tell You This

3. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

4. Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response

5. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters