‘Want to know the difference of flattery vs compliment? Here are all the differences you need to know about.

Compliments are great. But only if they come from the heart.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to differentiate flattery vs compliment so that you know when to say thank you and when someone is just trying to butter you up.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to spot a fake compliment when you hear one.

This post is all about the differences between flattery vs compliment and how you should respond to each.

Flattery vs compliment

Targets of bullying must know the difference between the two. And, surprisingly, many people think that compliments and flattery are one and the same. They aren’t.

A compliment is genuine. Whereas flattery is fake.

A compliment comes from the heart and is truthful. Also, compliments are earned. They’re reserved for people who deserve them. Compliments are given to praise someone for an accomplishment. They are an acknowledgement for a good deed or a job well done.

Flattery, on the other hand, is used for self-servitude. It is insincere, deceptive, and can be an insult to the recipient. Because, again, it is strictly used for selfish purposes. Flattery and insincere compliments are both the same.

Therefore, bullies never pay sincere compliments, especially to their victims. However, they will use flattery to butter them up to manipulate and exploit them. Bullies may also use flattery as a form of subtle sarcasm.

And if the target happens to be gullible, he may confuse it for genuine compliments. Bullies will then watch the victim’s face light up with over-excitement, then laugh later.

Remember that many targets of bullying are often thirsty for any sign of approval and praise because they don’t get enough of it, if they get any at all. Therefore, anything that even looks like approval, they’ll be excited to receive, even overly so.

So, what are the differences between flattery and compliments?

Flattery vs Compliment:

Your Relationship with the person giving it

Simple. You can tell by the kind of relationship you have with the person complimenting you. In other words, if the person complimenting you is a bully who normally mistreats you, then you can be sure that it’s flattery. And the compliment is fake, phony, and false.

I can’t stress this enough. Never take seriously any “compliment” you receive from a bully. When a bully is suddenly nice to you and gives compliments, it is likely an attempt to manipulate you.

A bully who compliments you is only flattering you. They are looking for an eventual payoff, be it psychological or otherwise.

In contrast, if the person is a true friend or family member who loves you and has never intentionally harmed you, you know that the compliment is for real. Even if the praise comes from a total stranger, it would be more acceptable than if it came from a bully.

Still, even with strangers, you should be gracious but cautious because they haven’t established a relationship with you yet. A simple thank you will do in this situation.

Make Sure Your Own Compliments are Sincere.

Just the same, if you are the one making the compliment, make sure the person you compliment is a close friend or family member. In other words, make sure that person damn well deserves it from you and that they’ve done something that warrants it.

Understand that most people know their strengths and weaknesses. And if you give them a false accolade on something they know they aren’t good at, they will see that you’re lying to them. Also, they will wonder what ulterior motives you have in giving them such a fake compliment.

And last and most importantly, never compliment a bully! Ever!

Flattery vs Compliment:

Here’s why:

1. Bullies get their behinds kissed all the time, and it’s exactly how they’ll perceive it.
2. You will be giving the bully a juicy opportunity to turn it against you and steamroll you with it.
3. Bullies are the last people who deserve praise. Never give anyone anything they haven’t earned.

Trust me, bullies, especially the arrogant and puffed-up type, get their boots licked enough.

They get false compliments and fake sympathy from their sycophants daily. How do you think they got so sickeningly full of themselves? Again, compliments should only be handed out to people who deserve them.

I learned this the hard way when I was sixteen and a sophomore in high school.

I remember seeing a girl in the cafeteria at lunch, and she was wearing a lovely dress. Naturally, I told her that it was a beautiful dress and that I liked it. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said it.

However, it only fueled her arrogance. She only sneered at me and said,

“I know. So what? Nobody likes you, and you think kissing up changes things?”

You can imagine how heartbroken and humiliated I was because she said that aloud, in front of an audience. I vowed that, from that moment on, I would give compliments only to those I trusted.

Few things uplift a person like a sincere compliment, which comes from the heart. However, a bully will only wipe their butts with it, then throw it back at you.

Flattery vs Compliment:

They may accept anyone else’s compliment. But if it comes for you, your bullies will only see it as ass-kissing.

Realize that a bully will only see it as confirmation that they are better than you. A bully will also think that you’re only trying to suck up to them to get them off your back.

A compliment to a bully is nothing more than an ego boost. And why not? Again, bullies are used to having most other classmates or coworkers bow down before them.

Moreover, it’s an opportunity for them to rake your dignity over the coals.

Instead, be the one who gives these life-suckers and happiness thieves a healthy dose of the real world. Be indifferent toward them- like you just don’t give a crap about them.

They may get angry because they may think people owe them allegiance, but you won’t give them the wrong impression. And, most importantly, you’ll walk away with your self-respect intact.

Follow these three rules, and I promise you that your value will increase significantly. It may not seem so, but it will.

So, how can you tell when your bullies are trying to butter you up to get something from you? Here’s what to look for.

1. A Sudden Chance of Heart.

Anytime your bullies have a sudden change of heart, your antennae should automatically go up! Nobody becomes a friend overnight. Friendship takes time because trust takes time to build.

Therefore, just as you shouldn’t rush into a romantic relationship, neither should you rush into a friendship. If someone who is usually brutal toward you suddenly begins treating you warmly, watch out!

Bullies will often begin sweet-talking you when they want something from you. So, look for them to ask you for something once they’ve buttered you up enough.

2. Flattery vs Compliment:

Excessive Sweet-Talk

You must understand that bullies have a higher understanding of human nature than most. They instinctively know that after they’ve bullied you over a certain amount of time and turned enough people against you, you’ll likely be hungry for any morsel of kindness.

People can sense when you’re vulnerable. And they will take full advantage!

You’ll know that something is off because your bullies will overdo the pleasantries. They’ll use excessive flattery. And, man! Do they lay it on thick!

Therefore, if they’re so sickeningly sweet that you swear you’re getting a mouthful of cavities just listening to them, that’s your cue to find the door.

3. fake smiles

A genuine smile is when a person smiles with their eyes and their mouth. You’ll see their eyes light up and crinkles develop around their eyes. On the other hand, if someone smiles only with their mouth, it’s time to end the conversation and excuse yourself.

4. Micro-flashes

If you pay close attention to body language and facial expressions, you’ll notice those tiny, split-second flashes of contempt on their faces. Moreover, you’ll notice them when your bullies think you aren’t looking or paying attention.

Therefore, don’t ignore those. Bid them goodbye and politely leave.

5. Flattery vs Compliment

Giggling or smirking among themselves after you turn and walk away

They’ll look at you until you turn your back. Once you walk away, they’ll give each other knowing glances. Or, they may look at each other and give a wink, a nod, or both.

Also, you may hear giggling and snickering as you walk away. These are a dead giveaway! Therefore, give these idiots the boot!

6. They will get furious when you politely decline any invitations or requests.

Again! Steer clear. It only goes to show that they don’t respect you as a person with boundaries and human rights!

Also, it’s a sign that in their invitations or requests, they more than likely had plans for you that you don’t know about. Maybe they invited you to dinner or a party as a way to lure you to a possible set-up for something humiliating or dangerous?

You never know. And if you don’t know, don’t go!

7. Your Gut will warn you!

When it comes to bullies, always be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary. Therefore, if your bullies shower you with flattery, you’ll notice that something doesn’t feel right.

This is your first clue. Your gut will always warn you when there’s danger around. So, listen to it.

Flattery vs Compliment:

In Conclusion:

Any time bullies want something from you, the first thing they do is have a sudden change of heart and pour on the flattery. Therefore, always look at how they’ve treated you in the past. Because past behavior always predicts future behavior.

You’re a target, but you don’t have to be a victim.

This post was all about the differences in flattery vs compliment so that you will see the difference and protect yourself from insincere people.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why is My Bully Being Nice to Me? Here are 5 Reasons to Beware!

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Character vs Reputation: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Smear You