Month: April 2025

hypocritical bullies at work

Hypocritical Bullies: Bullying and Hypocrisy Go Hand in Hand

2 Comments

‘Want to know all about hypocritical bullies, what behaviors to look for and how to spot them? Here’s everything you need to know.

hypocritical bullies

Bullies really are hypocrites. They’re good at accusing you of the very bad deeds they do themselves. It’s funny, when you really think about it.

Therefore, in this post, you’ll learn all about hypocritical bullies and how to spot them so that you can point them out and avoid them to protect yourself from them.

Once you learn all about these red flags, you’ll know them just by watching them.

This post is all about hypocritical bullies so that you can spot them and beware of them.

Hypocritical bullies

Many Bullies Claim to be Christians

But are they really Christians? Are they, in fact, true Christians?

Sadly, many of your classmates or coworkers may have reputations as church-going people. They may go to church every Sunday. In fact, they may go every time the church doors open.

However, they may not act like Christians once they are away from the sanctuary. But, because of their reputations, they will get credibility they haven’t earned.

For example, at school, you may have group a girls who the teachers and principal dub as “the religious girls.” However, they’ll be just as nasty, if not worse, than the secular kids in the class.

This is not to say that all Christians are like this, because no, not all of them are. However, just as with any other religion, party, or group, there will always be wolves in sheep’s clothing among the flock.

Though over half of the people at work or school sit in a church pew on Sunday,  they’ll still bully you and a few others during the week. Moreover, if they aren’t necessarily bullies, they may join in with the bullies and mistreat you.

A few may not actively participate in the bullying but will stand back and watch the bullying. These people may either get entertainment from it, or pretend it isn’t happening. How Christian is that?

Just Because They Claim to be Christians Doesn’t Make it So.

These so-called Christian people may never bully you by cursing you out or beating you up. They’re too smart to make it that obvious.

However, they’ll sat back and snicker as they watch your bullies totally humiliate you. Also they’ll spiritually bully you.

For instance, they’ll tell you that you should, ”turn the other cheek.”  They’ll suggest that you submit to the bad treatment and if you don’t,  you’re going to hell.

Therefore, if this happens to you, ask them this. “What would you do if the shoe was on the other foot? Would you submit to it if it were happening to you?

Remember that the devil never comes in the form of a red man with horns and a pointy tail. He comes as an angel of light!

It’s bad enough when people who aren’t in the church target you for bullying. But when it’s those who claim to be Christians, it can be downright devastating.

Why? Because, just by virtue of being known as Christians, they will likely compel you to believe that you really are an evil person. Moreover, they’ll make you feel terrible about yourself.

Hypocritical bullies:

Judge Only by Actions, Not Affiliations.

If this ever happens to you, see them for who they really were- sanctimonious hypocrites.

Once you see your bullies exactly as they are, no amount of gaslighting will work on you. Any justification or rationalization of what they did will no longer have an effect on you.

Why? Because they’ll stand naked before you. And I thank the Lord for giving me this knowledge because it has given me so much confidence.

And confidence is freedom.

Again, none of us are perfect because we’re all human and humans sin every day. Christians are no exception to this. Moreover, I’ll be the first to admit that there were times and situations when I didn’t act very Christian.

I’m not afraid to own it. However, what I didn’t do was repeatedly use my faith as a weapon against someone who was already being horribly mistreated.

Anytime Christians use their faith to destroy another, they stoop to a special kind of evil and God will judge them the harshest.

I know for a fact that Jesus would have had my back. Also, He would have admonished them. And not only their persecution of a few others, but for their fake Christianity and sanctimony. Because true Christians will never use their faith and Christian platform to bully and destroy another human being.

Giving it a Name.

Therefore, if anyone claiming to be a person of God bullies you, they are not of God. There are names for people who use their faith to destroy your spirit. You can call them sanctimonious. Or you can look at them as hypocrites.

Knowing how to name these people is your power. It makes it so much easier for you to call it out. So, I urge you to see these people for who they are and name them accordingly.

They are not Christians. They’re only sanctimonious hypocrites.

Hypocritical Bullies:

Bullies Who Virtue Signal

Seasoned bullies are masters at virtue-signaling. In other words, they make themselves look like the angels they aren’t. Most bullies are expert virtue signalers.

 For example, I remember sitting in class, pregnant with my first child. I had also gotten married a few weeks before.

One of my bullies, we will call her Amy, told me I was still a sinner because I’d gotten pregnant before I had gotten married. Moreover, she made sure to blurt it out in front of everyone else.

However, what was funny was that she was one of those girls who slept around with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Not that I ever judged her for it because what she did on the weekends was nobody’s business but hers.

However, I saw this for what it was. She was projecting. This is what saved my self-esteem.

Amy went on. She also told me that my child was a bastard and would be better off dead than to have me for a mother. The last thing she said was that I should never be allowed to get married nor have kids.

With that said, know this. Any time a bully publicly passes judgement on you, they only do it to feel like they’re better than you.

Moreover, they do it to fool themselves, you, and everyone else. They want everyone to think that they’re above you on the totem pole of morals and decency.

The reason Amy called out my “lack of virtue” was to try and prove to everyone else that she had it. However, although no one said a word, I think they all knew who she really was and what her attack was all about.

Sadly, we see the same from many people today.

Hypocritical Bullies:

If you know who you are, there’s no need to prove anything.

If you know yourself and you know that you aren’t the label of the day, be it a “whore”, a racist, a conspiracy theorist, or a nut job; there’s no need to prove it.

Moreover, you won’t feel you have to attack anyone else, pander, or virtue signal. There’s no need to prove something that’s already there.

When you truly know yourself, you won’t feel you have to prove anything to anyone. Trying to is too much work. It’s a waste of your time and energy. You do not have to show others you have something if it’s something you already have.

If you feel you must bend over backwards to prove something to the rest of the world, it’s a sign of insecurity or guilt.  Therefore, if your conscience is clear, don’t ever feel like you have anything to prove. You don’t.

There will be times when people accuse you of being the bully

Sadly, we now live in a culture of fruit-bats who are so quick to cry “bully” anytime you listen to your intuition.

This will happen especially if you don’t feel comfortable around a particular person. Understand that just because you prefer not to be around someone doesn’t necessarily make you a bully.

You may have legitimate and justifiable reasons for it. Let’s face it, we like who we like and we dislike who we dislike.

For instance, if the person creeps you out, it may be your gut warning you that the person is dangerous. And if you don’t feel safe around someone, it’s best to stay away from them.

Moreover, if the person is toxic and constantly dogs your mood, it’s natural to avoid this person. No sensible and healthy human being would want to be around such a person.

However, be prepared for a few clueless others to throw the label of “bully” in your face.

Know that, anytime you sense that something is “off” about a certain person, you have every right to ensure your own safety. You not only have a right, but an obligation to yourself to steer clear of them.

 You have a right to protect yourself from creeps, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, grifters, and other nefarious people.

Hypocritical Bullies:

Hypocrites send these unspoken messages:

  • “Safety and protection for us but not for you.”
  • “It’s bad when you do it but it’s okay when we do it!”

Therefore, don’t let these types of people confuse you. Realize that you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone! See this for what it is. You’re being held to a double standard.

You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone when you’re  trying to keep yourself safe. And if others unfairly criticize you for being uncomfortable around someone, then you should avoid them too.

Again, not wanting to be around someone isn’t bullying. You are not seeking to hurt them. You just want to keep yourself safe. It’s only bullying when you ignore someone for the sole purpose of harming them.

Parents Who Encourage Their Children to Bully Other People’s Children

Back in 2016, I saw a video, in which a young man was bullied by not only an adolescent girl but also her mother.

In the video, the young man is badly beaten by two, maybe three other boys, who were with the girl and her mother. They spotted the young man in a local park, stopped, and let the assailants out to attack him.

Also, by listening to the audio, I discovered that this mother was actually encouraging the bullies. She was cheering them on as they were viciously attacking him. Later, it was reported that the mother had been arrested.

Sadly, this was not the first video I’d seen of bullying involving a parent. I have watched many videos in the past twenty years…violent videos! Those in which the parent of the attacker actually egged on the altercation!

Hypocritical Bullies:

Adults who Bully Children

I have seen many news reports of parents arrested for attacking children on school buses, in city parks, and schoolyards for a perceived slight against their child.

Also, children and teens are also being cyber-bullied by not only their classroom bullies but the bullies’ parents as well. Just google the Megan Meier case and you will see how this precious child took her own life because she was being harassed online by not only her teenage bullies but by the mother of one of her bullies.

This type of behavior is horrible enough coming from young people but coming from parents, who should know better, it’s downright disgusting!

It amazes me how immature a good portion of today’s parents are. I have personally seen parents act as if they are still in high school. And it’s embarrassing, to say the least.

What embarrasses me the most is that the parents are of my generation!

These parents are no better than the bullies they are raising! They try to be their child’s BFF instead of being their parent. Most don’t teach good morals and values anymore. They don’t mind bullying other people’s children. However, they’re the first to holler when someone even ignores their little darling.

This is mostly the reason bullying is so prevalent today.

Why Some Parents Condone Bullying

Many parents encourage their child to bully other children because they have a deep-seated belief that being a bully is where it’s at. They think bullying is what it takes to move up the social hierarchy and be successful in life.

Also, they believe that keeping others down is key to being on top.

These parents believe that being popular and the toughest kid on the block is what life is all about. Also, I’ve seen parents who wanted to fight the bullied child’s parents because they spoke out.

Worse even, I’ve seen cases where the bully’s parents wanted to physically fight the young victim for daring to stand up to their bully child!

Again, the parents are mostly people in my age group and younger…thirties, forties, and fifties- old enough to have long ago known right from wrong!

Chance are that the parents were just as bad when they were in school. The bullying behaviors just passed from generation to generation.

Is it any wonder that bullying is so widespread?

One thing I cannot fathom is how an adult can insert themselves into kiddie confrontations. They bash the other child by calling them degrading names like they’re still in middle school. How do they resort to saw despicable acts and continue to keep a straight face?

How can people such as these bare to look in the mirror at themselves every day without turning ten shades of red? I just don’t get it. What is wrong with some of the parents of my generation?

Hypocritical Bullies:

Widespread bullying

Parents of this low caliber do not care about any other children than their own. They have no empathy whatsoever. In my opinion, people of this kind shouldn’t have children.

It’s sad that good, wholesome, strong parents are all but non-existent anymore. Those who actually love their child enough to call them out on bad behavior and enforce rules, are a dying breed.

Good parents are replaced by parents who encourage despicable behavior in their children. What will society and the world be like in another twenty years if we do not address this issue?

See these types of parents for who they are. They’re hypocritical bullies who don’t mind tormenting other people’s children. However, they’re the first to cry “bully” when others call their children out for bad behavior.

This post was all about hypocritical bullies, their behaviors, and how to spot them so that you can protect yourself from them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

3. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

4. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished: 7 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

5. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

facts about respect for yourself and others

Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know

2 Comments

Do you want to know the facts about respect and the purpose of it? Here are the nine truths of respect that you need to know.

facts about respect

Today, people, especially bullies, seem to think that they’re entitled to respect they never earn. Moreover, victims of bullying have a self-depreciating habit of giving respect to those who don’t return it.

As someone who’s been on both sides of the fence, I’m giving you truths about respect that I had to learn the hard way.

You will learn all the facts about respect and what they mean.

Once you learn all these truths, you will be more selective with who you give respect to and who to withhold it from. Also, you will know more about how to gain respect so that you can live in peace and harmony and get along better with others.

This post gives the facts about respect that every target of bullying must know about.

Facts About Respect

It’s true that we should remain humble. However, sadly, most people these days think that they’re entitled to respect simply because they exist. This especially describes those with even a little bit of power.

However, at the end of the day, no one is any better or more important than the next person. Having a degree of humility is a virtue. Why? Because we all have weaknesses, imperfections, and shortcomings.

Everyone, no matter how great, has limitations and must know what their limitations are.

Therefore, you must respect the people who respect you. On the other hand, you must also respect yourself enough to walk away from those who disrespect you.

You Must Respect yourself also.

Self-respect– it sounds good. It’s so pleasing to the ears.

However, it’s difficult to master and sometimes takes a lifetime to develop, especially if you’ve ever been a target of bullying and abuse.

When people bully, abuse, and gaslight you, it can often compel you to seek approval. Consequently, you might do some pretty drastic things to get that approval.

Sadly, many people never master self-respect because they’re under the presumption that life’s all about having a truckload of friends. Moreover, they may be obsessed with having huge wads of cash or getting all the girls.

Bullies are all about having power. Moreover, they believe that life’s all about being popular, or pretty. They aren’t satisfied unless they can be the king of the mountain, or the baddest mother on the block.

These are the bullies- the people who are constantly trying to prove themselves to others. That’s not self-respect.

Facts about respect and about Self-Respect

When you have self-respect, none of the superficial stuff interests you. Therefore, you don’t feel the need to perform cartwheels and showboat.

You feel good about yourself and there’s no need to prove your worth to the rest of the world. Why? Because you could care less what anyone else thinks.

Self-respect means treating yourself like you want others to treat you. Moreover, how well you treat yourself is determined by how you allow others to behave toward you.

You choose what you will and will not accept. Therefore, it means not settling for anything less than what you know you want and deserve.

Self-respect means taking care of yourself, mind, body, and spirit.

It means knowing who you are, what you want, what heights you’re capable of. Moreover, it means believing in yourself and never doubting what you can achieve.

In other words, it means refusing to allow bullies and abusers to convince you that you should hate yourself. Also, it means refusing the desperation to please, appease, and impress others and knowing that the only Person you should seek approval from is God Himself.

Self-respect means knowing your worth. In other words, you know the value you bring to the lives of others. Moreover, that belief stands regardless of what a few toxic people may think or say.

You continue to stay true to your values, beliefs, and convictions, whether or not they’re popular.

It means accepting and embracing everything that is you. This includes your age, sex, race, nationality, creed, body composition, weight, height, looks, quirks, and idiosyncrasies.

Facts About Respect:

What happens when you give respect to those who haven’t earned it from you?

Never respect anyone who doesn’t respect you back. Why? Because when you do, it’s not self-respect. What it is, is self-abuse.

Anytime you give unearned respect, it only reeks of desperation. In other words, when you give respect to people who don’t respect you,  you allow yourself to be a slave, a prisoner, a whipping boy.

To put it bluntly, you make yourself somebody’s bitch. You put your value, and sometimes, your life, in someone else’s hands.

Never take the respect others give you for granted.

Whereas, never take the respect you get from others for granted. Again, respect isn’t something you’re entitled to. It’s not automatic, and to think you’re owed such a commodity without earning it is arrogance. It means you’re a pompous, self-serving turd who’s full of yourself.

Bullies are people who demand respect but have none for anyone else. Therefore, here is what they fail to realize:

People may act like they respect them to their faces. However, once the bullies are away and out of earshot, people will gather and talk mad trash about them behind their backs. T

Others will know the truth. That the bullies are only self-satisfied pieces of crap who think they’re entitled. And people will call them exactly what they are and laugh at them in secret.

Here are the 9 facts about bullying you must know.

1.Respect is earned, not freely given.

Respect is not an entitlement! No! it is something you must give to get. Understand that everyone has a space to fill, even you.

Moreover, it is either mutual or none at all and there’s no in-between. Respect is a two-way street. Always!

2. Like love, respect is something money can’t buy.

It doesn’t matter how much money, power, and prestige you have. If you’re a piece of scum, you’re a piece of scum.

Besides, your money is something you can never take with you when you go. Neither can you take your power nor your prestige.

We all come into this world naked and so shall we leave it.

3. Facts about respect:

You cannot demand it nor get it through bullying and instilling fear in others.

Only gangs and mobsters demand respect- all while giving none in return. These people steal, kill, and destroy the lives of others, then have the chutzpah to demand respect from the very people they harm.

However, as mentioned earlier, people don’t respect them. They only act like they do. And believe me, they will talk smack once the bullies turn their backs.

4. Respect is something you must sometimes stand up and fight for.

There are toxic people everywhere- users, abusers, bullies. In other words, people who think they’re superior and that you’re their personal property.

Those who are evil will try to manipulate you. Moreover, they’ll disrespect you, harass you, and violate your boundaries.

They will especially do this if you’re young and aren’t experienced enough to know how the world operates. Therefore, it’s imperative that you set firm boundaries and walk away from such people.

5. Facts about respect:

Respect isn’t something you should ever have to ask nor (gasp!) beg for.

If you’ve earned it and already give respect, it should come back to you naturally. However, if you must ask or beg for it, you’re with the wrong people.

Therefore, ditch these creeps without looking back. Love yourself enough to walk away and find better quality people to keep company with.

6. Respect is a two-way street.

Like anything else, it’s a give and take. Again, no one is entitled to it, they must earn it. In order to get respect, you must give it, and that includes giving it to yourself too.

7. Facts about respect:

Respect and like are different.

When you like someone, it means you share common ground with them and like having them around. On the other hand, when you respect someone, you have regard for their human rights or you have a certain reverence toward them because of their knowledge, wisdom or position.

You can have respect for someone you may not necessarily like. For example, if you’re a recruit, you may not like your hard-nosed drill sergeant, but you know to respect them. Moreover, your mother may do things that make you not like her at times, but you respect her.

Therefore, this is the difference between like and respect.

8. Respect has a purpose.

Respect is there to ensure that humans can live together in safety, peace, and harmony. It isn’t self-serving. It’s meant for the good of all living creatures.

On the other hand, if there’s no respect, there’s no regard for the safety of others. Therefore, without it, there can only be anarchy and lawlessness.

Why? because people who don’t respect you will violate your boundaries and jeopardize your safety every chance they get.

When people disrespect you, they do it out of self-interest:

1.To feel superior

2. To look cool

3. To look tough

4. To look bigger and better

5. To boast their egos

6. To assuage feelings of insecurity and inferiority

7. To look and feel powerful

8. To feel better about themselves

9. Facts about respect:

Respect is easily lost but harder to gain.

It take a while to earn respect and you must either work or contribute something to get it. Respect can take years to build.

However, it takes a split second to lose it. One wrong statement or one wrong decision can instantly destroy any respect you once had.

Moreover, bullies can unjustly take it from you. They can smear and defame you with lies and ugly rumors. They can destroy your reputation, causing others to lose the respect they once had. Unfortunately, this happens a lot these days.

Therefore, you must do everything you can to protect the respect you get and never take it for granted. Moreover, if bullies steal it from you, you must continue to do and say things which are respectful to others no matter what.

In time, people may see your actions and realize that you’re not so bad. Even better, they may see your bullies for the liars they are and things may turn around for you. This also happens as well.

this post gave you the facts about respect to teach you what it is, how you earn it, and how to keep it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

2. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well

3. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

4. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

bullying and psychological conditioning in schools

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

2 Comments

‘Want to know all about bullying and psychological conditioning? Also, would you like to know how they relate? Here is everything you need to know about.

bullying and psychological conditioning

Bullying is just another form of abuse. As with any kind of abuse, it has the power to condition if you let it. In other words, bullying is a form of brainwashing.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and psychological conditioning so that you’ll recognize it when it happens to you.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will not only be able to know the symptoms of the conditioning that comes with bullying, you will be able to more effectively defend against it.

This post is all about bullying and psychological conditioning so that you can better recognize it and protect yourself against it.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

If you endure bullying long enough, it can slowly reprogram your mind and turn you against yourself, if you aren’t careful. It will blind you to your value as a human being. It will hijack your brain and cause you to see yourself through the lens of your bullies.

Then, you will loath yourself just as your bullies do. This is what you don’t want!

So, how do bullying and psychological conditioning relate and what does it do?

Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullying conditions you gradually and incrementally – bit by tiny bit. In the beginning it’s so subtle that you don’t even know you’re being brainwashed.

Bullies start off taking teeny-weeny bites out of the your self-esteem. Moreover, during the first few weeks or months, they increase the abuse ever so slowly.

Bullies do this step by itsy-bitsy step. Again, this happens so slowly and such tiny increments that you don’t know what’s happening.

Yet, something deep in the pit of your gut tells you that something is off. All you know is that something doesn’t feel too good. However, you can’t quite put your finger on it. It’s that subtle!

This is your gut instinct trying to warn you. Therefore, this is your first clue.

1. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

Your body will Tell You if you pay attention to it.

Here how this happens.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you pick up some really creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense them watching your every move, scoping you out, studying you like a specimen. You may look up from whatever you’re doing and see, out of the corner of your eye, a few of these people eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. You’ll also notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

The Process of Escalation

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing to see how you respond or react to their subtle slights and digs.

If you react the way they predict or you don’t react at all, bullies will see this as a green light.

Next, they’ll begin committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately to soften you up for bigger attacks. They make the abuse virtually unrecognizable… until it isn’t anymore.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse is so severe and out of control that the bullies and their minions can no longer help themselves. In fact, they’ve already gotten brazen with their attacks.

In other words, they don’t even try to hide it anymore. Along the way, they’ve stopped putting in the work to hide it.

Why? Because, by now, they’ve gotten away with it for so long that there’s no incentive to stop?

Therefore, by the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying the target. In fact, they’ve gotten comfortable with it.

And once they’ve grown accustomed to bullying and abusing you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone, no matter what you do to defend yourself.

2. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

What happens if you wait to long to stand up to bullies?

When the target finally gets fed up and begins asserting themselves, bullies will only double down on the attacks. They communicate through their actions that they don’t give a damn about your rights as a human being.

 Your pain will mean nothing to them. They’ll only see you as a victim and they’ll damn well make sure you stay a victim.

And why not? For so long, your bullies have gotten a payoff from abusing you. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

Therefore, when you finally begin defending yourself at this stage in the game, here’s what happens. Bullies and everyone else only responds with outrage. The unwritten message is, “How dare you!”

Bullies get super offended when anyone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. So, they’ll do everything they can to break your will and keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies.

Because, how dare you try to take away their fun? It doesn’t matter if they’ve been getting it at your expense.

Again, bullying and conditioning starts out small and subtle. Therefore, you must learn how to recognize it when it first begins.

Why? Because, the longer it goes on and the bigger the abuses get, the harder it is to defend yourself against it and put a stop to it.

I can’t stress this enough.

The one thing that will help you recognize it is that your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes they put out. So, pay attention.

3. The Environment That Conditions You Most

What is the environment that conditions and shapes you the most when you’re in school or working? I’ll give you a hint: It isn’t the home!

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

Our environments determine our mental health.

The environments you spend the most time in has ways of molding and shaping you. This goes  especially during your formative years.

For example, a child who grows up in an abusive environment will likely grow up to be an abusive adult. Moreover, they may grow up to be a weak and powerless victim to human predators.

Remember that a person’s formative years (childhood) is the most impressionable and it determines their future!

Yes. There are exceptions. A few kids do develop a strong sense of self, either through dogged determination or an outside mentor. These are the kids who make it out and create successful lives for themselves.

However, most aren’t that lucky, and it’s sad.

You have three types of environments:

  1. Nourishing Environment (Very Healthy)
  2. Neutral Environment (Somewhat Healthy)
  3. Toxic Environment (Unhealthy)

Understand that the environment you spend most of your day in, will the one that likely conditions you. And if you spend most of your day-to-day life in a bullying environment, your mental health will suffer if you aren’t careful!

For example, a certain school kid lives in a loving and healthy home. However, his classmates at school bully him mercilessly.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

4. Bullied Kids Spend most of their waking hours in school. let’s do the math.

A child or teen who is growing must have around 10 hours of sleep per day. Therefore, subtract 10 hours from 24 hours and you’re left with 14 waking hours.

The average young student then spends about 8 hours per day in school. Subtract 8 hours from 14 waking hours and you have only six waking hours away from school.

Next, we must factor in commuting time on the school bus. For the average schoolkid, this equals 30 minutes to 1 hour, one way.

Therefore, that’s 1-2 hours round trip. Keep in mind that most kids who are bullied at school are also bullied on the school bus.

Subtract that from 6 waking hours and the schoolkid has only 4-5 waking hours in her loving and nourishing environment at home.

24 Hours (One Day)

-10 hours (Sleep)

-8 hours (School)

-1 or 2 hours (School bus)

= only 4 to 5 hours awake at home

Therefore, that bullied child, although living in a loving and nourishing home environment, spends twice as many waking hours in a toxic school environment.

Consequently, the bullying they suffer at school will likely negate the love and acceptance he gets at home. Sadly, bullies may succeed in causing them to have low self-esteem.

Even sadder, the kids who suffer bullying at school and abuse at home will take an even bigger hit to the self-esteem. Why? Because these kids can’t get away from it. They have no reprieve from bullying.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

In Conclusion

How a student is treated at school has a huge impact on their mental health. It doesn’t matter how loving and nurturing their home life is.

Granted, having a positive home life does help. However, the bullying a child suffers at school will likely nullify any love and acceptance they receive at home.

Moreover, adults send most of their waking hours at work. Therefore, workplace bullies can condition them as well.

So, how do we Prevent or Lessen the Conditioning from Bullying?

With children and teens, you simply create opportunities for them to make friends outside of school. This will create more positive social experiences for them.

As a result, you’ll help to create an even balance between the bullying and negativity they suffer and the friendships and positivity they enjoy. Even better, it might even tip the scales, creating more positive interactions than negative!

This will buffer the child’s self-esteem from the bullying they get at school.

You can help them create positive connections by sending them to summer camp. Also, you can do it by enrolling them in a martial arts class.

Attending neighborhood or family outings where other kids are present also helps. Also, attending church and church functions is another great idea.

This also goes for bullied adults as well. Another thing adults can do is take a course or two. This is a wonderful opportunity to establish positive connections.

There are many, many opportunities available! So, go for it! Give yourself or your bullied child these wonderful experiences! You’ll create awesome memories that will last a lifetime!

This post is all about bullying and psychological conditioning, how to recognize it, and how to mitigate it so that you can save your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. Negative Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: 9 Ways it Plagues Victims of Bullying

4. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

Standing Against Bullying: 3 Reasons It’s Worth the Risk

2 Comments

‘Want to know all about standing against bullying and why it’s so worth the risk you may take? Here are all the facts you need to know about.

standing against bullying

Standing against bullying can be the difference between re-empowering yourself and living a life of independence or spending the rest of your life being subjugated by bullies.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the importance of taking risks, facing conflict, and standing up to bullies so that you can change your life for the better.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will skyrocket  your chances of escaping victimhood and living a happier, more peaceful life, free of drama.

This post is all about standing against bullying to compel you to take a stand and take back your peace and your life.

Standing Against Bullying

Comfort zones don’t empower you, they keep you stuck. Therefore, you must take risks if you expect to grow and move forward. Standing against bullying, especially if it’s happening to you or a loved one, is one of those risks.

However, it’s worth it in the end and you will thank yourself.

Targets and victims must take risks.

Too many targets of bullying grow too paralyzed with fear to make a move and take control of their destinies. Their bullies and abusers have reprogrammed them to believe that, no matter how hard they try, they’ll always be losers and failures.

In other words, bullies train them to believe that, for others to accept them, they must always march in lockstep with the rest of society.  They must tread lightly and never rock the boat . And if they don’t walk carefully, emotional and physical brutality will be what’s in store for them.

I understand because I’ve been there. I remember the fear all too well.

In short, bullies teach their victims to take the path of least resistance and stay in their comfort zones. However, do you really live your best life when you choose this path instead of your own?

To see positive change in your life, you must take risks. Whether you’re working on achieving a short-term goal or chasing a dream you’ve had your whole life, you have to take risks.

It’s the same when you get rid of bullies/abusers and surround yourself with better people. It comes with a risk.

Standing against bullying:

To get something you never had, you must do things you’ve never done.

To get something you never had, you must do things you’ve never done. This can be scary. Any time you create something beautiful into your life, you’ll push through some birth pains first. It’s the only choice you have.

I took a risk when I decided to stand up to abuse. Moreover, I also took risks when I wrote and published my first book, “From Victim to Victor (A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying.”

I knew it would be risky. Therefore, I prepared for it.

In doing both, I faced the possibility of failure. Also, I made many people angry. Moreover, I lost a lot of people I thought were friends.

However, that’s okay. Why? Because I look back now and realize that I really didn’t lose friends at all.

What I did was weed out the people I thought were friends. I got rid of the fakers, posers, and imposters who only pretended to be but were never friends in the first place.

I also knew that the book would be painful to write because it required that I relive the torment. However, I chose to push through the pain.

Understand that if you ever want to achieve something great, you must step out of your comfort zone. You must face the fear head-on.

Life is a gamble. Everything is chance. You can’t win the game if you don’t roll the dice.

When you really stop and think about it, you roll the dice when you do the most basic things in life. For example, you take a chance every time you walk out of your house.

 Moreover, when you get in the car to go to work every day, you also take a gamble. In life, risk is unavoidable. So why not take bigger risks and go after what you want?

Standing against Bullying:

Take the risk now or live with regret later.

Wouldn’t you much rather face the risk now than live with regret later?

Again, if people are bullying you, you must face the risks and stand up for yourself. Remember that your safety is your responsibility. Yours and no one else’s.

Moreover, you must realize that no one is coming to rescue you. Many people like to blame the school and teachers when bullies bully a kid in school. Moreover, they like to blame bosses and managers when an employee is bullied out of their job.

Know that I’m not giving these school officials and company big shots a free pass. Because they absolutely do have a responsibility for the safety of their students and employees.

However, we don’t live in a perfect world. Most people in authority could care less about those who are bullied. It’s a fact we all need to accept.

Therefore, you must be willing to risk it all. Why? Because the last thing you want is to wake up one morning- eighty years old and say, I woulda, shoulda, coulda done this or I woulda, shoulda, coulda done that.

As for me, I don’t want to have to say, “Oh no! If I’d only done this or that.” I don’t want to moan and groan, “I had this great idea five, ten, twenty, or thirty years ago and I didn’t act on it because I was too afraid.”

So, do it while you can. Be willing to accept the risk that goes with it.

It’s do or die time. Risk now or regret later!

“Get busy living or get busy dying.” – Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption

When you stand against bullying you risk conflict. Let’s discuss the reasons you shouldn’t fear conflict.

Standing against Bullying:

Reasons You Should Never Be Afraid of Conflict

Let’s face it. Conflict is a part of life and something we all encounter at many points in our lives. Sadly, many targets and survivors of bullying are deathly afraid of conflict.

Why? Because bullies have forced so much of it on them in the past. People just refused to let them be. Also, many targets and survivors are traumatized by the bullying they presently suffer or from past bullying.

Therefore, they haven’t yet dealt with the hurts they still have. Also, they don’t know their worth and the good they deserve. Not yet.

Many targets and survivors of bullying suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Because of this, they’re still stuck in survival mode.

As a result, target’s cave in and give in to bullies to appease them just so they’ll shut the hell up and go away. And people get tired.

Bullies can be loud and demanding when they don’t get what they want. Remember, bullies are self-entitled and self-indulgent people.

Moreover, having to constantly listen to bullies bitch, rant, and beat their chests can wear you out.

Therefore, you just want to scream, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

Standing Against Bullying:

It’s easy to grow exhausted When you constantly have to fight.

I can understand why targets and survivors end up this way. It’s because a person gets exhausted when they’re constantly have to battle.

When bullies torment you, realize that you’re fighting a power-struggle. Your autonomy, self-determination, personal power, safety, dignity, and your very right to exist hangs in the balance.

 Moreover, bullies are relentless. And they’ll do their best to wear you down. Your bullies hope that you grow weary. Moreover they know that all you want is for people to leave you alone and let you live in peace.

In short, you getting tired and giving up is exactly what your bullies are counting on. But don’t give up. You must continue to set boundaries.

And you must impose consequences on those who violate those boundaries!

What happens if you continue to avoid conflict?

If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak. Then, they’ll walk all over you.

Therefore, again, you must set and enforce boundaries. There are times when you must say no. Moreover, there are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across.

It’s crucial that you let people know that no means no and enough is enough.

This requires guts. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks. You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry. Also, you must risk people lashing out at and retaliating against you.

Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships. And no, none of it feels good.

You must stand up for yourself and that means facing conflict.

Think of it this way. If you’re a target of bullying, you’re going to face conflict no matter what. Why? Because other people will bring the conflict to you.

Hiding from it does no good because it will eventually find you. When you are a target of bullying, conflict is certain. It’s unavoidable.

Standing against bullying:

Run from conflict and you’ll be running from it for the rest of your life!

So, why not face it head on? Better yet, embrace it and stand up to people. Then, you can feel better about yourself later, knowing that you finally grew a spine and told them where to shove it.

You may face retaliation for it, but you would face it anyway because, right or wrong, bullies will always find some justification for attacking you.

With that said, here are 3 reasons standing up to your bullies is worth the risk.

1. You may earn respect.

If you stand up to your bullies and hurt them bad enough, they’ll never want to mess with you again. Therefore, you’ll finally earn their respect. As a result, they’ll leave you alone and go find someone else to bully.

2. Everyone else will respect you too.

Other people will either see or hear about the hurting you put on your bully. Therefore, they won’t want to screw with you either. Therefore, not only will your bullies leave you alone but everyone else will too.

When you have the self-respect to set boundaries, others will also respect you.

3. Standing against Bullying:

Even if your stand doesn’t change their behavior, you’ll feel better about yourself.

Just knowing that you told your bullies where they could stick it will make you feel proud. Remember the part in Karate Kid, where Mr. Miagi and Daniel are in the boat? Miagi is fishing and Daniel is standing on the stern, practicing his balance and karate moves.

Mr. Miagi says, “Win, lose, no matter. Give good fight, earn respect.”

It’s the same here. The trick is to make your bullies work to bring you down, whether it’s fist-fighting or verbal sparring. Make them work hard enough to wear them slap out!

They won’t want to mess with you. Why? Because they won’t want to have to work that hard ever again.

This post is all about Standing Against bullying, the risks you take when you make your stand, and why it’s worth it in the end so you’ll feel encouraged to stand up for yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. What Happens When You Set Boundaries: 7 Amazing Outcomes

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

incivility vs bullying at work

Incivility vs Bullying

2 Comments

Incivility vs bullying. ‘Want to know the difference between the two? Here are the many ways they differ.

incivility vs bullyingMany people mistake incivility for bullying.

In the post, you will learn the difference of incivility vs bullying. Also, you’ll learn how to tell which is which.

Once you learn all this important information, you will be better able to see the difference when they happen. Moreover, you will know how to respond more appropriately.

This post is all about incivility vs bullying. Also, it teaches you the patterns and behaviors to look for in each so that you can more accurately call it out.

Incivility vs Bullying

In life, you’ll deal with difficult people. You will meet many jerks who act rude and obnoxious. However, just because a person is rude doesn’t mean they’re bullies.

Everyone deals with incivility but not everyone gets bullied.

Incivility is a part of life. Bullying, on the other hand, is sick and twisted. Although a jerk’s behavior is hurtful and negative, it doesn’t mean they’re bullying you.

Therefore, when is hurtful behavior classified as bullying? How do we tell the difference between bullying and incivility?  Also, what is the difference between a jerk and a bully?

Before we go any further, let’s define bullying.

The Definition of Bullying

Bullying – an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical, and/or social behavior that intends to cause physical, social, and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening

(https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-parents/definition-of-bullying/)

Incivility vs Bullying:

The Misuse of the term “Bullying”

In today’s climate, people use the word, “bullying” too loosely. Moreover, they use it to describe situations that don’t fit its use.

In fact, many stick the label to anyone who says anything they don’t agree with. They often confuse bullying with anything someone says that they don’t like.

Therefore, we have a duty to give the proper definition of bullying. Moreover, we must learn to differentiate bullying from other forms of conflict.

All too often, people confuse bullying with:

  • Disagreements and truthful debates
  • Misunderstandings
  • Stubbornness
  • Incivility and jerky behavior

Sadly, bullying has become a blanket term. People use it to describe anyone who says or does anything they don’t like.

Sure. There are those who are jerks. However, it doesn’t necessarily make them bullies.

Therefore, when society sticks this label where it doesn’t belong, it deprives people of the right to have their own opinions. This is wrong.

So, what are the differences of incivility vs bullying?

1. Bullying Requires a target Victim. Incivility Doesn’t.

Bullying requires a target! In other words, bullies single out one person to abuse.

Anyone, at any age, can fall victim to bullying. Also, there is evidence that suggests that child and teen targets are more likely to grow up to be bullied, adults. A few don’t, but most do.

Incivility, on the other hand, doesn’t need a target. The uncivil person just has a rotten attitude and the behavior is random. In other words, the person is just a jerk and their meanness is aimed at everyone.

All bullies, regardless of age, deep down at their core, are cowards! A jerk just doesn’t care. Period.

Again, bullying requires a target victim. Take the victim out of the equation and bullying ceases to exist. Incivility, on the other hand, has no particular target person. An uncivil person is mean to anyone.

In other words, bullies target you specifically. People who are uncivil treat everyone like dirt, not just you.

2. Incivility vs Bullying:

Bullying is a pattern. Incivility Isn’t.

As mentioned in the last section, bullying is a pattern. It repeats itself over and over. Incivility, on the other hand, is sporadic.

In other words, bullies repeat the behavior against you. There’s a reason why bullies repeat their behavior. It’s to tear down your confidence and make you doubt your worth.

The repeated attacks serve to brainwash you and convince you that you have no value. Think about it. Tyrannical governments also brainwash their target people with repeated attacks.

Therefore, there’s a reason for the repetition. Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth. Repeat a behavior often enough and it becomes normalized. Bullying operates the same exact way.

On the other hand, Incivility isn’t repeated, especially against the same person. Again, jerks  direct their vicious attitudes toward all kinds of people.

3. Bullying Lasts a Long Period of Time.

  Not only do bullies repeat their attacks against the same individual or group. They also do it over a long period of time (usually from 3 weeks to several years). Therefore, it is relentless.

Bullying is long-term because it takes time to take the desired effect on the victim. In other words, targets of bullying don’t break down overnight. The breakdown is almost always a cumulative result of bullying.

Incivility, on the other hand, doesn’t last long at all. In fact, it only requires a one-time occurrence.

For example, you’re driving and you accidentally pull in front of someone.

They lay on the horn and scream, “Watch where the hell you’re going you moron!” That’s not bullying. It’s incivility.

4. Incivility vs Bullying:

Bullying is a Campaign with a goal. Incivility Has No Particular Goal.

Bullies often persuade others, even total strangers, to join in on tormenting you. They go around defaming you to anyone who’ll listen.

They do this to isolate you by lessening your chances of making new friends and destroying your existing relationships.

The goal of bullying is to isolate, demoralize, and destroy the target victim. Therefore, bullies start by employing smears to destroy the target’s good name and standing in a community.

Moreover, it can tear down their relationships, family, career, finances and businesses. Consequently, the cumulative result is that bullying ruins the target’s self-esteem and their life.

5. Bullying is personal.

As mentioned earlier, bullies require a target. Also, bullying requires an agenda and vendetta. Bullies will actively pursue you and make it their mission in life to destroy you.

Uncivil people, on the other hand, have no agenda nor vendetta. Therefore, they don’t care who you are or where you come from. They just have personalities that suck. These people are just jerks.

Jerks treat everyone in general, like dirt. Moreover, they only insult you because they don’t want you to bother them with anything.  They’ll never put in the time or effort to pursue anyone.

Jerks are equal opportunity dirt bags.

A jerk just doesn’t care about anyone. Period. This kind of person is just afraid you might want something from him. On the other hand, a bully wants something from YOU.

Examples of Incivility vs Bullying:

Jerky Behavior.

If a 6’5” tall and muscular knucklehead on the street bumps into you and says, “Hey, idiot! Watch where the hell you’re going!”, then keeps walking. That’s not bullying.

Is the person a total jackass? Absolutely. However, he isn’t necessarily a bully.

Bullying would be if he deliberately ran into you and shot his mouth off to you every day, every time he saw you on the street. In other words, he’d have to repeat the behavior and continue to harass you.

Only then would this be a case of bullying. Why? Because the knucklehead would be using his size and height to intimidate you. Also, he’d be repeating the behavior every day.

Voicing an Opinion.

Kathy and Kelly live across the street from each other. Kelly asks Kathy what she thinks of her new next-door neighbor. Kathy answers, saying, “I think he is an arrogant, egotistical jackass.”

Kathy is not a bully. Is she highly opinionated? Yes. Is she an asshole? Probably. But she’s not necessarily a bully.

However, if Kathy continues this behavior for a length of time, then yes. She would be a bully. If she smears the new neighbor to everyone in the neighborhood to turn everyone against them, then you could call it bullying.

Incivility vs Bullying:

Arguments and debates.

If two people are arguing over different beliefs, it’s not bullying. This goes even if the argument is heated.

However, incivility becomes bullying when one of the arguers begins repeatedly calling the other names and shaming them because they don’t share their beliefs. Moreover, if the person continues to harass the other long after the debate is finished, then, yes, it’s bullying.

To protect yourself from being falsely labeled a bully, you must know what constitutes bullying and what doesn’t. Only then will you be able to distinguish between each and correct anyone who tries to stick you with that label.

And you will do it confidently.

THis post is all about the differences of incivility vs bullying so that you can better recognize the differences between the two and call out bullying when you see it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

catty women meaning

Catty Women: 5 Powerful Ways to Deal with Their Bullying

4 Comments

‘Want to know about catty women and effective ways you can deal with their bullying? Here are all the informative details you need to know about.

catty women

These types of women are everywhere! You have mean girls at school, cliquey women at work, even crotchety older women in senior communities. Whatever the life-stage, female on female bullying is all too common.

It’s sad that we have so many women who are jealous of other women. They seek to tear another woman down if she dares to be too pretty, too smart, too rich, too talented, or too anything positive.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about catty women and how to intelligently deal with their bullying.

Once you learn about all this game-changing information, you will be able to effectively shut these bitches down and take back your power.

This post is all about catty women and how you can protect yourself against them.

Catty Women

Here’s a scenario you’re probably familiar with. You have a clique of queen bees and mean girls at school or work. Moreover, they’ll see another woman outside their little group who’s happy with her life.

This lady is confident and strong. She knows who she is and what she wants. The lady may be successful at her job or have a huge bank account. Also, she may be talented, smart, have a good family life, or gasp! All of the above.

Do you think that they’ll be happy for a fellow female who managed to defy the odds? Will these women want to learn from her? And, will they see her as a role model?

Do you think they will look up to her? Most females may act like they support other women. However, do they really?

No chance. They will only hate her and wish for her downfall. Moreover, these vixens will want to tear her to pieces. They will plot against her and try to sabotage whatever success she has. It’s both sad and pathetic!

Why Many Women Resort to Catty Behavior

First, let’s find out why so many woman act so darned catty.

Catty Women:

They’re insecure with themselves.

Understand that the reason these women are so catty is because they’re highly insecure in themselves. Subconsciously, they see themselves as inferior to any woman who’s got her shit together. Therefore, they’ll do everything they possibly can to pull her down to their level.

Also, if a catty woman has a husband with a roving eye, look out if you’re the woman in his sights! Because she won’t lay into her hubby with the wandering eyes. No. She will come after you! And with a vengeance!

Catty women are mostly the passive-aggressive types. Therefore, if you happen to find yourself in their line of fire, you’ll sense it.

You’ll feel their eyes bore into you like a needle. You’ll pick up the sickening vibrations these girls put off. Also, you’ll feel the negative energy they exude grip you and try to squeeze the life out of you.

These vicious females will almost seem demonic- as if they’re possessed with an evil spirit. Therefore, if you become the target of catty women, BEWARE!

You must understand that most catty women are, in fact, women with narcissism. And there’s nothing more evil than a female with NPD.

They’re Spiteful.

These shrews will try to get information from you. Moreover, they’ll pump your friends, associates, even your family members for information about you.

They’ll warn everyone who will listen not to associate with you. Also, they’re notorious for trying to damage your good relationships.

These women will sabotage your job prospects, invade your privacy and snoop through your office and sometimes even your belongings. They do this to find anything they can use against you.

Some may even stalk you to find out where you live. Moreover, don’t put it past them to find out who your family members are. Understand that these women see you as an adversary- someone they must compete with.

Catty Women:

Jealousy and competition.

Understand that your success causes them to compare themselves to you. These women may also question their own achievements and overall value as women. Self-comparison is such a confidence-killer!

They hate you because they think you have it better than them. You can hear the venom in their voices and sense the poison in their minds.

You see clearly the ignorance in their attitudes. Also, you’ll observe their huffy impatience and haughty demeanor.

If catty women ever sink their claws into you, they’ll never let go. You’re the enemy- the usurper of their perceived girl-code.  Therefore, they’ll have a laser focus on you.

Women and girls can be worse bullies than men and boys

How do you spot these ferocious females?

Spotting them is easy. All you have to do is notice their snottiness. Their attitudes are a dead giveaway.

These girls strut around the school, workplace, or community like they’re the belles of the ball.  They have funky attitudes and usually walk around with their noses in the air.

They have their upper lips raised in contempt. Their eyes blaze under those fake eyelashes and narrowed eyebrows. Overall, they act snooty and snotty.

And the woman I mentioned earlier? The one with the ogling husband? Should it be any wonder the guy has a roving eye?

You must realize that these women are miserable human beings.  Moreover, they suck the oxygen out of every room they walk into.

You should pity and dismiss them. Never hate them because, deep down, they already hate themselves. Only they’ll never, in this lifetime, admit it.

Therefore, avoid these bitches and have nothing more to do with them. Do it not only for your sanity, but your overall safety. The further away you get from these hussies, the better.

Catty women don’t know their worth.

One fellow blogger, Petrina, made the perfect point when she quoted in her comment:

“…If a woman knows her worth, she won’t be like this. If a woman does not make an idol out of men, she won’t see other women as such a threat. Much of women’s cattiness revolves around the fact that they feel threatened that their idols (men) are going to find other women attractive and prefer them. These types of insecure women are falsely validated by men’s attention….”

Petrina’s words really drive the point home and I thank her for her comment!

Cattiness in Women Comes from One Thing- Fear and Insecurity!

What makes these damsels so dirty and trifling? Let’s sum the answers up in one word:

Fear!

Bless their pea-picking hearts! If these poor things had a modicum of self-esteem, they wouldn’t have such funky attitudes. Moreover, they would have the confidence to just relax.

This is why it’s so important to know your worth as a woman. If you do, you won’t want to make trouble for other females who rival you.

You won’t compare yourself to other women. Moreover, you won’t hate on women who may or may not have easier lives than you.

However, sad to say, you may find yourself in the crosshairs of jealous catty women who are jealous of your life.

Catty women are miserable souls.

Think about this. If these women were genuinely happy with their lives, they wouldn’t be so obsessively jealous of yours.  Catty women are insanely jealous of any woman who has her life in order and has everything going for her.

Women who are catty are usually women who are hungry for attention, especially male attention. Moreover, they’re the kind of girls you see humiliating themselves by chasing and throwing themselves at men in bars or at parties.

Understand that their snooty ways alone reveal so much about them. If they had an ounce of self-awareness,  they wouldn’t be so oblivious to it.

Sadly, these toxic broads believe that their behavior makes them look powerful and goddess-like. Also, they think that walking around with their noses in the air and upper lip snarled like a dog is cute.

In fact, many of them think that this behavior attracts men.

These Women are Thirsty!

And yes, there are people, especially guys, who are attracted to that kind of behavior in girls. It’s true that every day, you see many men fall all over themselves to get close to these bitchy gals.

Sadly, the world is full of simps.

However, you must realize that these guys have no self-esteem nor self-respect. Therefore, the man-eaters they crawl behind will only chew them up and spit them out!

Yes, each of these fawning boys look like and put on the facade of the alpha male. However, under the surface, they’re only beta males who are insecure.

Any man who puts up with a catty woman has serious doubts about his masculinity.

In other words, if these guys were cars, they would be shiny, flashy muscle-cars that look sharp and fast on the outside. However, they’d would be total wrecks under their hoods. They wouldn’t make it out of the driveway before sputtering out and breaking down.

On the other hand, true alpha men would never be such gluttons for punishment. They wouldn’t bow down to these shrews, kiss their behinds, and become, for lack of a better term, “whipped.”

Instead, they would ditch these broads… fast!

Why? Because a guy with any common sense knows that the only power these women have is power others give them.

Catty Women vs Quality Women

Any quality woman- a woman who is worth her salt- desires a partner she can respect. She has no time for some spineless wimp she can walk on.

Also, men of quality desire a quality woman of strength they too can respect and who respects them back.

And when a catty, insecure woman has her partner, or other guys groveling at her feet as she’s walking over him, it says one of two things about her.

  1. She is a controlling, domineering shrew who fears a strong, secure, self-respecting partner. Therefore, she actually prefers a boy who’s a sniveling weakling she can keep under the heel of her high-heeled shoe.
  2. A strong, secure, and self-respecting man of quality would never in this lifetime have her nor even consider her! Ouch!

A quality woman knows there’s no need to act catty to prove anything to anyone. Therefore, that’s a woman who’ll be successful in achieving a relationship with a partner she can respect and who respects her back.

This is a girl who will never get into a relationship with a guy who’s a wimp. Before there’s love, there must first be respect!

Catty Women are Fearful Women

In contrast, catty women are fearful women. They fear strong men who have the balls to put them in their place if they ever get out of line. These girls are truly pathetic.

They’re only beta-females who, by their actions and behavior, reduce themselves to the lowest common denominator. Sadly, these women are many- they’re a dime a dozen.

However, women who are confident and have their mental stuff together are few. They’re rare. And anything that is rare is and always will be of higher value.

In fact, it’s priceless. The Law of Scarcity dictates this.

Therefore, if you are one of those rare and special women, keep doing what you’re doing. And if it seems that so many other females are working like the devil to bring you down, know that they are already beneath you.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t put in so much effort to tear you apart and bring you to their level.

Always remember that because you are rare, you hold more value than your mean girl bullies ever will. Believe that with every fiber of your being!

Here are 5 Ways to Deal with their Behavior.

  1. Let them run their mouths and act ignorant if they want. They’re only revealing to everyone who they are.
  2. Stay above them. Don’t react to their childishness.
  3. Know without a doubt that you’re above them because you don’t have to resort to such petty behavior.
  4. Act indifferent and dismissive toward these women.
  5. Continue to do your thing and do it confidently.

Doing these things will get to them more than anything else. More importantly, it’ll make you feel better about yourself. Therefore, rise above them and stay above them.

This post is all about catty women and why they resort to bullying other women.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Body Shaming is Bullying: How to be Confident with Appearance

2. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

3. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

what does victim blaming look like reddit

What Does Victim Blaming Look Like? 9 Easy Signs to Watch for

2 Comments

What does victim blaming look like? ‘Want to know exactly how to recognize when you’re being blamed for the bullying you suffer. Here are all the signs you need to know about.

what does victim blaming look like

Victim blaming is ugly in that it re-victimizes victims, over and over again.

Therefore, in this post is all the answers to the question, “What does victim blaming look like,” so that you can know how to recognize it when you see it and how to defend yourself against victim blaming behavior it when a bully tries it with you.

Once you learn to see it when it happens, you will better be able to call it out when it happens to you or anyone else.

This post answers the question, “What does victim blaming look like,” so that you can see victim blaming for what it is and tackle it immediately.

What does victim blaming look like?

Many times, when you call out or report bullying, your bullies will blame you for their despicable behavior just to take the guilt off themselves.

So, what is the definition of victim blaming?

According to Welsh Women’s Aid, “Victim blaming is any response that explicitly states or implies that the victim is to blame for the abuse they have experienced.”

In cases of bullying, Targets Never Become Targets Overnight

Victim blaming doesn’t only happen to victims of bullying, it can also happen to victims of crimes, such as rape and domestic assault. Moreover, the blame can come from the perpetrators, other people, or even law enforcement, who is supposed to help victims.

The same happens to victims of bullying as well. Bullies are notorious for blaming their victims for their atrocious abuse. However, blame can also come from peers, teachers, coworkers, supervisors and managers.

This happens especially when the bullying of a certain individual first begins. Therefore, if you’re beginning to see subtle signs of bullying by others, be very careful. Why?

Because, any time bullies select a potential target, they start out subtle and sweet with their bullying. The reason bullies are subtle at first is because they’re testing the waters. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond and if you’re an easy target.

If you overlook their behavior, or response too emotionally, your bullies will slowly move on to more obvious verbal abuse. However, if you respond the right way by being assertive and telling them in no uncertain terms to stop the behavior, they will leave you alone. Keep in mind that this only works in the early stages of bullying.

And sadly, most people don’t stand up for themselves in the early stages. Therefore, again, bullies progress to more blatant verbal abuse.

Your bullies may try to blame you. However, continue to stand strong. Don’t back down and refuse to accept blame. Then, eventually, they’ll leave you alone.

What Does Victim Blaming Look Like?

1. Bullies Ridicule You and tell you to “Get Over It.”

Bullies will ridicule you for the way you feel about their abuse. Moreover, they taunt you if you have the guts to call them out on it. But see them for who they are.

  • “Get over it!”
  • “Let it go!”
  • “Forget about it!”

Whatever way they say it, it usually means the same.

Realize that bullies are self-entitled turds who think you should just let them ride roughshod over you. Also, they believe that you’re wrong for even trying to defend against the abuse.

Maybe they know they’re in the wrong but don’t want you to notice it.

How many of you have been told to do either of these? As if you could just wiggle your nose and everything is peachy king. When you’ve been abused, you cannot just let it go. Healing takes time.

The emotions you feel won’t just go away. Even if you paint a smile on your face and pretend that nothing’s wrong, these feelings will still be there.

They’ll only simmer under the surface. Moreover, the more you try to stuff them down and bury them, the more damage it will cause.

Don’t feel guilty for feeling the way that you do.

Understand that the emotions you’re feeling are there for a reason. They warn you that something isn’t right. Realize that the anger and hurt won’t disappear overnight.

 Know that the people who give you that kind of response do so out of ignorance and entitlement. Moreover, they only re-abuse you when they demand that you “get over it.”

In order to heal and get your life back again, you must allow yourself to feel those raw emotions. No, it isn’t comfortable. No one wants to feel pain.

However, you must go through it to come out on the other side of it. And while you’re moving through the pain, practice self-care.

Give yourself some TLC. Have self-compassion. It’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to baby yourself.

Take a few days off. Lounge around the house in your pajamas if you want to. Eat your favorite treat or give yourself a good, sweaty workout.

Also, treat yourself to a spa-day, facial, new do, or a beach vacation. Your first priority is self-care, whatever that may be.

Last and most importantly, don’t shut up! Tell your bullies to take a long walk off a short pier.

Also, keep speaking out and standing in your truth. Self-care also means being your own advocate and if people don’t like it, too bad.

Put yourself first!

2. What does victim blaming look like?

Shifting focus from your bullies’ actions to your reactions.

This is a classic bully-move. Anytime you call attention to their disgusting behavior, your bullies try to distract others’ attention to the way you reacted to it.

Your bullies do this for three reasons.

  1. To silence you.
  2. To make you ashamed of defending yourself.
  3. Also, to make you doubt your own judgement.
  4. To discredit you.

Bullying thrives on secrecy. Therefore, bullies point out your reaction, hoping that you’ll shut your mouth. Therefore, keep talking.

3. Questioning the victim’s reactions.

Many times, when you defend yourself against bullying, people will question your reaction. They may ask, “Why didn’t you walk away when the bully hit you? You didn’t have to sink to their level by hitting them back.

However, bullies don’t honor someone who walks away. People may tell you to be the bigger person and walk away from the bully. But how do you know that your bully won’t sucker punch you the moment you turn your back?

Realize that bullies only understand strength. Therefore, strength is what you respond with. Punch their lights out!

You have to let them know that if they lay hands on you, there will be consequences.

4. What does victim blaming look like?

Bringing attention to the victim’s flaws and weaknesses.

Your bullies may say that your weight or your big ears are the reason you get bullied. They may make remarks such as, “Maybe if you weren’t such an oinker, no one would mess with you.”

Be that as it may, no one has the right to bully you. Ever!

Therefore, don’t fall that bullshit. Continue to stand your ground!

5. Trivializing the victim’s pain.

“It’s not that bad.” “Aw! It’s not the end of the world.” How many gave you one of these responses when you reported bullying and abuse or spoke out about it?

Understand that bullies say these things to trivialize your pain.

Therefore, don’t fall for that garbage! Your bullies aren’t the ones on the receiving end of the abuse. You are!

Again, don’t let them gaslight you! Keep standing up for yourself.

6. Removing the bully’s name.

For instance, instead of saying, “Billy beat Kelly up,”  bystanders will say, “Kelly got beat up!”

Many times, the bully’s friends and followers will do this to protect their friend. Therefore, they cover for their buddy while taunting you because Billy beat the crap out of you.

7. What does victim blaming look like?

Suggesting that  you had it coming.

Lots of times, when bullies abuse you, they’ll tell you that you had it coming. They may say that you made them do it.

They’ll make statements, such as,

  • “You ‘made me‘ or ‘make me’ hit you!”
  • “You ‘make‘ people want to hurt you!”
  • “Don’t ‘make me‘ hurt you!”
  • “Don’t ‘make me‘ mad!”

However, you must see all this for what it is. It’s all a way for your bullies to blame you and take the guilt off themselves.

Think about this. If they can make you take the blame for their abuse, then they get off Scot free. Moreover, they can make themselves look like the innocent victims while making you look like the bully.

8. Implying that you must have provoked the bully.

For example, if you’re bullied at school and you report it to the principal. The principal then asks you, “What did you do to make that boy attack you?”

Sadly, school staff tend to take the bully’s side and blame the victim.

9. Asking you what you could’ve done to avoid being bullied.

School staff and workplace managers are also guilty of this. In many cases, they ask you, “What do you think you could’ve done to prevent John from cursing you out?”

If nothing else, understand this right now! When they ask you questions like these, they’re trying to put if off on you. Don’t let them do it!

Call them out on it! Let them know that you see through it and you won’t accept blame for anyone else’s deplorable behavior but your own! And when you say it, mean it!

This post addressed the question, “what does victim blaming look like,” So you’ll recognize it when it happens and defend yourself against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

bullying and double standards at work

Bullying and Double Standards: 3 Things Bullies and Others Get Away with that Targets Don’t

4 Comments

‘Want to know about bullying and double-standards bullies and others hold you to? Here are 7 things bullies get away with that others don’t.

bullying and double standards

Unfortunately, people holding you to double standards is a huge part of being a target of bullying. However, knowledge is power and it can be a tool you can use to overcome it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and double standards so that you can call it out and use it to defend yourself.

Once you learn all about these game-changing information, you will be able to call it all out for what it is and use it to fight back.

This post is all about bullying and double standards so that you’ll have the knowledge to arm yourself with.

Bullying and Double Standards

Bullies are the biggest hypocrites! Moreover, another unfortunate reality of bullying is that they almost always hold you to their double standards.

The bullies, especially those in authority, will often condemn you for statements and actions they allow others to get away with. Ever heard the term, “selective outrage?”

Selective outrage is when people get angry at you for things they’d never get angry at others for. In other words, bullies select who to inflict their outrage on and who they should grant a free pass.

Here’s another thing bullies do. They demonize you for things that are harmless or innocent.

Merit goes out the window

Here’s another thing to be aware of. Bullies and their followers personalize ideas and creations, which are independent things that should stand on their own merit.

In other words, bullies and others will undermine or dismiss any idea or creation if they find out that it originated from you. On the other hand, if the exact ideas or creations come from anyone other than you, people will accept them. In fact, they may even praise them.

In short, it’s not about the idea or creation itself. It’s about who it comes from.

Sadly, the reality is that nothing- no action, statement, idea or creation ever stands on its own merit. Nothing is ever independent of the person who conceived it.

Bullying and Double Standards:

So, why Do people Set double standards?

1. To Assign different roles to different people in different positions in the social hierarchy.

In other words, they put them in place to assign good roles and more freedom to the people society approves of. On the other hand, people also set them to assign lower and more restrictive roles to those they hate or dislike.

No, it isn’t always fair. Therefore, should you continue to wonder why bullies defame and demonize you to others?

They do it to turn others against you, yes. However, they also do it because they know that once everyone is against you, you won’t have the freedom and mobility you once had.

Therefore, a bad reputation, whether you deserve it or not, keeps you down and locked in place. There’s no chance for advancement or mobility unless you leave the environment.

2. Bullying and Double Standards:

To elevate, angelize and benefit the people we approve of and to degrade, demonize and harm the people we disapprove of.

Understand that people hold a target of bullying to double standards for one reason only. And that sole reason is to stress, oppress and invalidate the person.

Again, it doesn’t matter whether or not you deserve it. What matters is how people feel about you.

Remember that emotions and personal feelings always- always take priority over logic. It always has and always will. And the sooner you accept it, the quicker and more effectively you will be able to find your way around it.

Here are a couple of ways you can get around a double-standard:

1. Go incognito if possible.

If you write a paper or invent something, don’t use your real name in the beginning. Use a pen name or pseudonym before submitting it.

If you have bullies around, they won’t know it was you who created it. Therefore, they will likely approve of it.

Then, once people approve and recognize the work for its brilliance, everyone will want to know who the mystery person is. Once an award has been prepared and everything’s all said and done, you can reveal who you are. Think of the movie, “The Cinderella Pact.”

I’ve also heard of people doing similar things in real life. However, this only works in certain situations.

2. Meet strangers who don’t know and haven’t heard of you.

Find and befriend strangers who don’t know of your damaged reputation. Then keep company with them.

These people are least likely to judge you because there will be no history or biases. With them, you start with a clean slate. Therefore, you can put your best foot forward and be your best you!

Reputations are hard to change, but with careful thought, inventiveness, and creativity, you can intelligently work your way around your circumstances.

When there’s a culture of bullying at school or in the company, everything is all about appearances. Therefore, it isn’t about what’s being done; it’s about who’s doing it.

Sadly, people often hold victims of bullying to a double-standard. Again, if someone makes a statement, it’s never about the comment itself.

It’s about who it came from. Unfortunately, politics, whether it be on a national, local, school, or office level, is rife with double-standards.

Bullying and Double Standards:

So, What do bullies get away with that others don’t?

1. Romantic relationships, whether it’s an affair or a Genuine Love Relationship.

For example, the student body and people in the community find out that a particular girl is in a monogamous romantic relationship. She and her boyfriend aren’t only dating; they have sex every weekend.

If she’s a target of bullying, she’s a “whore.” Moreover, her boyfriend must be with her for the sole purpose of getting in her pants.

It’s only a matter of time until he gets tired of her and dumps her for something better. Therefore, everyone uses her lack of celibacy as an opportunity to persecute her.

On the other hand, what if she’s one of the bullies? Also, what if she’s not a target of bullying? She doesn’t necessarily have to be one of the popular crowd. All it takes is not to be a target of bullying.

Therefore, she can be just an average Jane who blends in.

As long as she’s any girl who isn’t a target of bullies, she’s only a girl in love. She and her boyfriend are only experimenting and exploring the sexual terrain. This is just a normal part of being a young couple in love.

Therefore, everyone cuts her some slack. They don’t say anything about it. Or, they congratulate her for reaching the milestone of finding love and losing her virginity.

2. Bullying and Double Standards:

Partying, Drinking and Doing Drugs.

A boy in the school goes out, drinks and does drugs on the weekends.

If he’s a target of bullying, people will label him a worthless drunk or druggie. Moreover, they won’t let him live it down.

However, if he’s any boy who isn’t a target of bullying, people only say that he’s a hell-raiser! He’s only doing what most teenage boys will try at some point during their adolescent years. Therefore, others dismiss it as his being one of those rowdy kids from high school.

3. Getting Pregnant.

Students and school staff discover that a certain girl at school is pregnant.

If she’s a bullied girl, they’ll only label her a cheap little slut. Moreover, they won’t be surprised she’s “knocked up.” People shun her like Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter.”

Moreover, everyone judges her harshly. They take on the attitudes that she and her baby will only live on welfare and leach from society. And they’ll do it while the non-bullied kids will move on to successful careers.

Others will make predictions. They’ll predict that they and everyone else will support this sorry excuse for a human being and her little spawn with their tax dollars.

But if she’s any girl who isn’t a target of bullying, she’s just a good girl who made a bad mistake. Therefore, everyone reaches out to her and extends compassion.

They may throw her a baby shower and celebrate the occasion. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Therefore, you must learn school, office, any kind of politics. Double-standards are firmly put in place to keep a select few down and oppressed.

Bullying and Double Standards:

In Conclusion

If you aren’t a target of bully, there’s margin for error.  So, others allow you to explore many worlds. You’re allowed to make mistakes and you’re allowed to be a human being.

However, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re not afforded any of it. You’re not allowed to be yourself. You’re not allowed to be human because in the minds of others, you aren’t human at all.

Therefore, in the minds of the student body, you aren’t even allowed to be- to exist.

But no matter how they judge you, do it anyway.

  • Allow yourself to make mistakes because that’s how you learn.
  • Be yourself because that’s how you weed out the people who aren’t supposed to be in your life and attract into your world the people who belong there.
  • Be human because being human is what exposes the people who are wrong for you and shows you the people who are right for you.

Don’t only exist, but live! Be alive! Live life to the fullest! Most importantly, know that happiness is a choice! And that you do have the power to choose.

This post is all about bullying and double standards so that you can recognize it, ignore it, and keep living your life the way you choose.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Inside the Mind of a Bully

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

4. Social Contagion Effect: Bullying and Social Contagion