‘Want to know about bullying and first impressions? Here’s why first impressions can determine whether you become a target victim of bullying.
I cannot tell you how important first impressions are. Down through the ages, many have said that first impressions last forever and that you never get a second chance at it. They were right!
In other words, first impressions often determine whether or not bullies find you as a good target.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and first impressions and the reasons first impressions often lead to bullying.
Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to see the relation between the two and make a better first impression the next time you move to a new job, school, or community.
This post is all about bullying and first impressions and how they connect so that you will have the tools to protect yourself from bullying… before it happens to you.
Bullying and First Impressions
Believe it or not, first impressions can determine whether people in a new environment accept you or bully you. Let’s use scenarios and examples to elaborate on this.
New Kid in Town
For instance, you move to a new town and new school where nobody knows you. Your dad just got out of the military and you’ve lived all over the world. Therefore, your family decides to settle in the town Dad lived in before he left for basic training.
The town you move to is a small town in a small district with small schools. You begin middle school in this small town. Therefore, you’re the new kid in town.
You’re the person who no one knows. Naturally, this makes you a little nervous.
During the first few weeks, you make a terrible first impression on your new classmates. Moreover, you do it without even realizing it. Another thing that you don’t know is that you’re going to pay for it for the next 5 years.
It isn’t your fault. After all, you’re only thirteen years old and you’ve lived a comfortable life as a military kid. And the life of a military brat is much different than living life as a civilian in a small town.
You’re navigating completely new terrain now.
Bullying and First Impressions:
Fresh Meat to Local Bullies
You’re friendly to everyone. Maybe a little too friendly. Other than a few incidences of harmless teasing, you’ve had no issues at any of the other schools you attended before. So, there’s no reason not to trust people.
However, you’ve caught the eyes of a group of local bullies and they seem to watch every move you make. The bullies approach you on your first day at the new school. They ask you questions and some of those questions don’t feel good.
You only answer the questions you feel comfortable with, trying to be polite. However, you notice that the bullies approach you again, later that week. Moreover, the bullies threw a few subtle taunts your way.
But you only ignore it and walk away. As the weeks turn into a month, the taunts grow more frequent and less subtle.
However, you continue to blow these creeps off, ignore them, and walk away. Also, you try to make friends with the other students because you don’t want to be the lone wolf.
A Bad First Impression
There’s your first mistake. You didn’t stand up for yourself when these creeps began bullying you. In fact, you didn’t even respond. You only ignored it and walked away.
However, being the new kid, you’re afraid of getting in trouble with school staff. Also, you’ve been taught by your parents that decent young ladies don’t fight.
However, everyone else is already socially established here. You’re an outsider. Therefore, they don’t want your friendship.
The bullies notice this too.
Bullying and First Impressions:
The Bullying Continues to Escalate.
Here’s your second mistake. Being overly friendly! And because you’re so friendly, the other kids mistake you for being a fool. The bullies see your kindness as weakness. To them, it looks like you’re seeking approval.
You may make a few so-called friends. However, they aren’t true friends. They only allow you in their group because they only feel sorry for you. Or worse, they may do it to pump you for information with which to report back to the bullies.
Another month passes and now, your bullies are verbally assaulting you. They begin accusing you of things you know nothing about.
Next, they start threatening to beat you up. Therefore, you try talking your way out of confrontations. Or worse, you begin lying your way out. But where does that get you?
Your third mistake is that you cry easily. To your sadistic classmates, this is another sign that you’re weak. To others, it’s a sign of manipulation.
You catch on to this rather quickly. Therefore it does take you long to change these behaviors and learn to mask them. However, it’s a little late for that.
Once A precedent has been set, it’s too late to change course.
Throughout your first year, the bullying slowly intensifies. Your bullies soon grow bored with the verbal attacks and begin what you would call borderline physical attacks.
They may start by “accidentally” running or bumping into you in the hallways. Next, they’ll begin tripping you as you’re walking by.
Once they get bored with that, they move on to more obvious physical assaults. Your bullies (and maybe others) begin shoving you. The shoving then progresses to hitting, kicking, and punching.
Finally, you suffer brutal beatings by bullies and their new followers. Moreover, a few others who normally don’t bully join in.
During your first year at your new school, you’ve just gone through the first three stages of bullying. But you finish your first year and get a reprieve when summer arrives.
Bullying and First Impressions:
Others who wouldn’t normally bully anyone begin to join in.
Before long, your bullies begin signaling to the rest of the school that you’re easiest to bully. They recruit bystanders to unite with them and join in the torment. And they this through rumors, accusations, and smear campaigns.
Moreover, they also threaten anyone who associates with you. And, one by one, others begin turning against you. Even those kind kids who normally wouldn’t bully anyone.
As time goes by, more and more people turn their backs on you until you have no support system left.
Now, you have become radioactive. In other words, no one wants to associate with you because they know they’ll be next if they do.
Therefore, to ensure their own reputations don’t take a hit, everyone avoids you altogether. Even worse, they become willing participants in the attacks. These kids become secondary bullies.
The Second Year, Bullies Pick Up Where They Left Off.
By the second year, you’ve passed to the eighth grade. You’ve had the summer to heal and reflect on what you could’ve done differently to keep bullies away.
Therefore, this year, you’ve toughened up considerably. But, by now, the dynamic has already been set and firmly in place.
The physical bullying then escalates to a climax. People seem to be standing in line, waiting on their turn to have a boxing match with you.
Though you’ve begun fighting back to defend yourself, you don’t earn respect for it. Instead, people only become outraged and resent you for it. Why? Because they’ve grown comfortable with abusing you.
And once people get comfortable with abusing you, they’ll only double down on it when you stand up to them.
As a result, you get involved in many fights. Just trying to defend yourself and keep from getting hurt! Consequently, the number of physical altercations causes teachers and staff to label you a troublemaker.
Teachers and school staff label you “a problem.”
Others have bullied you for so long, they’ve grown comfortable with it. In fact, they’ve grown so accustomed to being cruel that they don’t have to think about it. It becomes the knee-jerk action every time they see you.
Moreover, bullies and their recruits may go home and tell their families horrible lies and rumors about you. The family members then spread the word to the people they know at work, the supermarket, etc.
Next, the coworkers, friends, and extended family members pass it on to their families. As a result, the lies about you spread throughout the entire community.
Thus, they completely decimate your reputation. And everyone meets your reputation before getting the chance to meet you.
Understand that people do this deliberately to create a toxic environment for you. In other words, they lay the groundwork for an environment that doesn’t allow you to receive support, make new friends, nor rise above bullying.
Finally, any opportunities you may have had are severely limited or lost completely.
Bullying and First Impressions:
When Bullying Becomes Mobbing
Bullying becomes mobbing when it reaches the late stage! The abuse has snowballed into a dangerous situation.
At this stage, you are at the mercy of every one. Also, bullies face no accountability. And when there’s no accountability for abuse, there are no limits to it.
Therefore, people can now escalate the abuse at will. This is the stage that bullying has become life-threatening.
Everyone in the community hates you. These people want nothing more than to see you suffer. The “good people” of the community have no idea why they hate you. Moreover, they’ll never be able to tell you exactly what you did to deserve it.
Therefore, all they know is that they loathe you and have an intense desire to destroy you.
Furthermore, people expect you the take the abuse because they think you deserve it. Any attempts to defend yourself will only bring more outrage.
In fact, they won’t even allow you to question the abuse. Talking back to them when they verbally attack you only leads to physical retaliation.
Any self-defense will only bring outrage.
Also, talking about the bullying to people outside the dynamic gets back to your bullies. And they retaliate by physical means.
Standing up to your persecutors, won’t get them to leave you alone. Moreover, people who’ve never met you wish to attack you. It becomes a case of “you don’t know me, but I know you.”
This stage is the most dangerous because everyone around you becomes deranged. Also, they get so emboldened that they don’t try to hide their hatred anymore.
And why not? They’ve gotten away with their abuse for so long. They know they have no incentive to stop the attacks.
This is why bullying and first impressions are interconnected. And it’s important to make the best first impression you can possibly make. Sometimes, that means standing up to bullies the first time they try anything funny!
Bullying and First Impressions:
Why Standing Up to Bullies Doesn’t Work in The Late Stages
Why is that? Because, by then, people have grown so accustomed to abusing you. Therefore, any self-defense on your part takes them out of their comfort zones.
People love their comfort zones and they’ll do anything to stay in them. Therefore, they’ll only retaliate when you stand up to their bullshit.
And you’ll end up fighting a constant battle which will wear you down.
If you’re a kid in school and you’re in this stage, a school transfer will be the best thing for you.
If you’re an adult and you’ve reached this stage, now is the time to leave. Pick up and move to a different area. Moreover, tell no one where you’re going or even that you’re moving.
Whatever the case, just find a way to quickly and quietly disappear because your life may depend on it. It’s the only way the bullying will stop.
If you relocate, you’ll get a fresh start. You’ll have a chance to reinvent yourself and move on to peace and prosperity. In other words, you’ll get a chance to rebuild your life. You’ll begin to flourish, and create a better world for yourself.
But why not defend yourself in the early stages and save yourself years of trouble?
Bullying and First Impressions:
First impressions are everything!
Why? Because they set a precedent – a pattern for the future. If bullies get away with bad behavior once, they’ll repeat it again and again.
Also, when they get a particular reaction, they will come back for more of the same later. Without realizing it, you teach people how to treat you.
It doesn’t take long for impressions to take root and became expected. And when they do, it’s tough to change. This isn’t to say that it’s impossible. However, it won’t be easy.
Changing a social dynamic takes a truckload of patience and consistency.
Therefore, you must firmly stand up to bad treatment when it first begins. Why? Because, when you assert yourself in the early stage, others will likely respect your right to be treated well.
They’ll either leave you alone or began treating you better.
So, always set and enforce your boundaries when the bullying begins. Never let it go on for any length of time. The sooner you do, the easier it will be to assert your rights and avoid retaliation.
This post is all about Bullying and First Impressions so that you will know to stand up to bullying when it first happens and make a good impression when you do.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!
2. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons
3. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap