‘Want to know the 5 things to never do with a bully? Here are the top five mistakes you should never make with bullies so that you make yourself less vulnerable to them.
The last thing you want is to give your bullies any ammunition they can use against you.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn the five top things to never do with a bully.
Once you learn all about this super-important information, you will be able to make yourself more bully-proof and keep them from trashing your self-esteem any more than they already have. Moreover, they just might end up seeing you as a lost cause and move on to an easier target.
This post is all about the 5 things to never do with a bully so that you can preserve your right to be left in peace.
5 Things to never do with a bully
1. Never Apologize to a Bully.
For anything! Ever!
You must understand that bullies will only see your unnecessary apologies as weakness. Why? Because you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.
And when you give bullies apologies that are undeserved, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. Furthermore, you’re giving your bullies exactly what they want and they know it.
Bullies and abusers will try to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault. In other words, they’ll try to make you sorry for things that are beyond your control.
Moreover, they’ll even try and make you apologize for something that doesn’t need an apology. Therefore, respond but don’t apologize.
In other words, don’t say, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.”
Here are ways you can respond to bullies who pull this crap. And these are very powerful responses. When you use these, you respond to these bullies without accepting blame. You also respond with strength and power.
- You’ll get over it.
- You’ll be alright.
- By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
- It’s no big deal.
- This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.
2. 5 Things to never do with a bully:
Never Compliment a bully.
Trust me, bullies, especially the arrogant and puffed up type, get their boots licked enough.
They get false compliments and fake sympathy from their sycophants daily. How do you think they got so sickeningly full of themselves? Compliments should only be handed out to people who deserve them.
I learned this the hard way when I was sixteen and a sophomore in high school.
I remember seeing a girl in the cafeteria at lunch, and she was wearing a lovely dress. Naturally, I told her that it was a beautiful dress and that I liked it. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said it.
However, it only fueled her arrogance. She only sneered at me and said,
“I know. So what? Nobody likes you, and you think kissing up changes things?”
You can imagine how heartbroken I was.
Few things uplift a person like a sincere compliment, which comes from the heart. However, a bully will only take your heartfelt compliment and steamroll you with it. They will only wipe their butts with it, then throw it back at you.
They may accept anyone else’s compliment. But if it comes for you, your bullies will only see it as ass-kissing.
Realize that a bully will only see it as confirmation that they are better than you. A bully will also think that you’re only trying to suck up to them to get them off your back.
A compliment to a bully is nothing more than an ego boost. And why not? Again, bullies are used to having most other classmates or coworkers bow down before them.
Moreover, it’s an opportunity for them to rake your dignity over the coals.
Instead, be the one who gives these life-suckers and happiness thieves a healthy dose of the real world. Be indifferent toward them- like you just don’t give a crap about them.
They may get angry because they may think people owe them allegiance, but you won’t give them the wrong impression. And, most importantly, you’ll walk away with your self-respect intact.
3. 5 Things to never do with a bully:
Never admit anything to a bully.
Everyone makes mistakes. However, bullies won’t give you margin for error. Therefore, it’s best never to admit any error’s in front of them.
4. Never share Secrets in the presence of a bully.
If you’re a target of bullying, understand that they’re just looking for any chance to reveal any embarrassing information about you. You must realize that they hate you and all they want to do is hurt you.
Even if the information is innocent, like watching a slasher film, it’s better to keep it to yourself. Therefore, this is a no-brainer. When people bully you, it’s just best to guard your secrets with your life!
5. Never reveal any of your plans.
This is for everyone, but especially if you’re a target of bullying. Many people trumpet their goals and dreams.
Moreover, they announce their plans without realizing what ramifications it can bring. And, if you’re a target of bullying, all the more reason why you should keep your plans, goals, and dreams to yourself. Therefore, work quietly.
Understand that any time you broadcast your objectives, you place yourself at risk of others sabotaging you and trying to derail your plans.
Furthermore, your bullies are just waiting, with bated breath, to destroy you.
You must realize that not everyone wants you to succeed. Why? Because your success would force them to reflect on their own person failures and shortcomings.
Moreover, if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will be damned before they allow someone they see as inferior to reach success and overshadow them.
5 Things to Never Do with a bully:
Your success is a threat to your bullies’ power.
Bullies consider any success you enjoy as a personal affront. Any time you achieve a goal, you score a win. And when you score a win, you force your bullies into a place of lesser power.
Why, because it’s you who gets the recognition, praise, and glory, not your bullies. And they know it! You force them into the shadows while you get to shine and be recognized for your accomplishments.
This infuriates your bullies because they aren’t the ones in the spotlight!
Understand that the one thing bullies crave most is attention and adoration and when they find that you’re getting more of those things than they are, it’s Katie bar the door!
Naturally, they will launch all sorts of attacks against you. They will make a barrage of accusations. Also, they’ll even bring up the mistakes of your past to drive you back in the shade.
But see through it and stay above it. They only do it because you’ve threatened their power. And when bullies face the threat of losing their power and being driven into obscurity, they reveal their true colors.
In other words, you force them to expose themselves and their evil personalities.
5 Things to never do with a bully:
Two More Bonus Answers
1. Never try to Prove Yourself to a bully
Yes, I added a sixth answer as a bonus. You should never try to prove yourself to a bully. Ever!
Bullies don’t deserve for you to expend so much effort to prove anything to them. Why? Because they’re not worthy of your best. Only the people who truly love you, uplift you and are proud of the person you’re becoming deserve that.
Only the people who have your back and are in your cheering section are worthy of the kind of work you put in.
‘You see? Bullies are the type of people who must have a target. In other words, they must have power over someone, anyone, or they end up feeling inadequate and useless (but aren’t they already?).
Bullies have an insatiable hunger for power. If they don’t have it, it drives them nuts.
If you’re a target of bullying, you only try to prove yourself to those who could care less either way. Moreover, you’ll be on an endless and futile quest. You’ll end up wasting precious time, which is time better spent focusing and working on you.
Understand that no one can prove themselves to a bully. It’s impossible because bullies only see the negative in others. They never have anything positive to credit anyone but themselves.
In fact, the better, stronger, smarter, braver, and more awesome you are, the more threatened your bullies feel. Therefore, the more they’ll attack you to tighten their grip on your life.
The Only person you have anything to prove to is yourself.
Bullies hate strength, they hate smarts, and they hate any positive quality in anyone else but them. Moreover, they especially despise them in the person possessing them is their victim, if their good points surpass theirs.
To a bully, control isn’t just about forcing you to do what they want. It’s about controlling your mind- your thoughts, attitudes, and preferences. In short, it’s about controlling your life and having the power to ruin it.
It’s about having the power to break you and wear you down. Bullies get off on that power. And when you consistently bend over backward to prove yourself to them, all it does is show them that they still have power over you.
Because, if they didn’t already have it, you wouldn’t be trying so hard. In fact, you wouldn’t try at all because you wouldn’t give a crap what they thought.
Remember! You have nothing to prove to anyone other than yourself.
2. 5 Things to Never do with a bully:
Never Pander to them
I’ve seen so many victims non-victims pander, or, in laymen terms, suck up to bullies. Bullies can intimidate and threaten you. No doubt about it!
Therefore, anytime someone feels threatened, their first instinct is to do anything they have to do to quell the danger. That, I completely understand.
But is it always a good idea to pander to your bullies? No. Here’s why.
1. It wouldn’t change things. Therefore, when you pander, you only give away more of your personal power. And that’s exactly what bullies want. Also, bullies see pandering as bowing down and kissing their feet.
And they only get a huge power rush and ego boost from it and, as we all know, bullies can’t get enough of those.
2. Would it change your bullies’ minds about harming you? It might for the moment. In other words, you may indeed pacify them, but the appeasement will only too quickly wear off. Trust me on this one, your bullies will come back for more later. That is a given.
5 things to never do with a bully:
Pandering Only makes you feel worse later.
3. You’ll end up feeling like a complete wuss later. You’ll only ruminate, asking yourself over and over again, “Why the hell did I just kowtow to this creep?” or “Why do I continuously let these people take a deuce all over me every chance they get?”
Trust me, your self-esteem will take a huge dent and you’ll end up kicking yourself for it later.
Pandering is counterproductive in the end. However, start thinking for yourself and standing up to anyone who violates your boundaries. It’s true that they may bully you harder for it. You may have to fight harder and for longer to assert yourself.
And yes. The harassment may get worse before it gets better. But, in the end, you’ll feel better about yourself knowing you didn’t bend over for those morons. You’ll feel more confident and be proud of yourself, knowing that you stood firm and that you eventually overcome. And there is no better feeling. I guarantee it!
What’s the best way to handle a situation like this?
You handle it by simply staying above it- by not reacting to the bullies’ foolishness. Moreover, you deal with their abuse by continuing to enjoy your wins and successes and letting them stew in their own juices.
Put simpler, just let them talk. Let them launch all the personal attacks they desire as they seethe themselves into a ball of madness!
Because when they act out and spew nonsense against you, they only dig their own graves.
In the meantime, continue to work quietly and stealthily until you reach your goals. The more quietly you work, the less interference you’ll have from bullies and a few other toxic life-suckers. Therefore, the less roadblocks you will run into along the way.
And once you reach your goals, then you can bask in it. Even better, you can give your bullies the surprise of their lives.
“Your journey is silent, but your destination will be loud.”
5 Things to never Do with a Bully:
In Conclusion:
Remember that you’re the target. Bullies and everyone else will see any of the above five behaviors as sucking up.
Moreover, when you do any of them, you only reveal possible weaknesses and leave yourself vulnerable. Therefore, it’s best to stay way away from these behaviors.
Realize that any time people target you for bullying, everyone will automatically expect the worst from you. Why? Because, sadly, people despise victims of bullying.
And no, it may not be justified. It may not be fair but neither is life. It is what it is and you must do everything you can to make the best of it. Avoiding these behaviors is how you make the best of it.
This post was a lesson in the 5 things to never do with a bully so that you can keep the bullying you suffer to a minimum and spare your dignity.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of
2. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know
3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth
4. Neediness: 5 Reasons It’s Unhealthy and How to Overcome It
Great post, Cherie! I have experienced all of this and bore the scars to prove it.
Thank you so much, Michael! I’m right there with you.