Do you want to know why fake friends stick around even though they can’t stand you? You’ve probably wondered that if they despise you so much, why they don’t just go away and have nothing more to do with you. Here are several motives that keep them coming.
Fake friends secretly either don’t like you. They may even hate you and wish you nothing but harm and bad fortune. Yet, they continue hang around like a bad odor.
If you’re anything like I was, you’re probably wondering why they do this. As someone who’s been there and discovered the answers, I’m giving you all the must-know reasons to relieve you of any confusion you might have.
In this post, you will learn why fake friends stick around. You will get these answers in detail so that you can understand more clearly and take steps to protect yourself.
Once you learn about all their motives and intentions, you will then have the courage to stand up to these imposters and send them packing once and for all. Moreover, you will take back your dignity and peace of mind.
This post is all about the reasons why fake friends stick around. The purpose of this post is to give you the courage to ditch these imposters and take back your peace.
Why Fake Friends Stick Around
Everyone has fake friends. These are the people who only pretend to like them but secretly wish them harm and bad luck. Moreover, this individuals desire to be in our circle and get close to us. But why?
If they hate us so much, why would they continue to hang around? Why do they seem to want to stay right under us all the time? It’s like these people want to literally attach themselves to us and never let go! Yikes!
These are the people who slither their way into our lives only to end up betraying us later.
Here are the reasons why fake friends stick around:
1. To watch you closely.
You may not realize it, but these people have a strategy. Therefore, they do this deliberately to achieve their own evil ends.
Therefore, fake friends stick around to study your movements and patterns. They want to learn your routine. Why? So they can better predict any reactions and what your next move is likely to be.
Understand that to learn an enemy’s patterns is to collect intel on them that can be weaponized later.
For example, undercover cops infiltrate drug rings so that they bust them and take them down later. Fake friends are no different.
If you’ve ever read the book, “The Art of War” by Sun Tzu, you know that the most fundamental rule is to “Know your enemy.”
2. To win your trust.
They know that if you let down your guard and trust them, the more likely you are to let them in on your problems and deepest, darkest secrets.
Also, when you trust someone, you’re more likely to feel more comfortable making simple, human mistakes. Also, you’ll and show your less than desirable emotions around them. And why not? If the person is a friend, they’re least likely to judge you.
In other words, this person will watch the target closely, then establish good rapport with them. Then develop a close friendship with them to lower any apprehension the person might have had in the initial stages.
On the other hand, if the person is a fake friend, you unwittingly give them fodder and ammunition to use against you later.
3. Why Fake Friends Stick Around: To watch you fail.
Everyone experiences failure at some point. And your fake friends want nothing more than to be around to see it when you do fail at something.
They can then smile inside and get the satisfaction and gratification they’ve been looking for.
However, if you ever succeed at something, especially if it’s something big, you will see their true colors come shining through.
For example, if you accomplish something huge, like making the NYT Bestseller list or winning the lottery, watch the masks fall off. These posers will suddenly give you the cold shoulder. They may even lash out at you, accusing you of thinking you’re better than everyone else.
Also, they might accuse you of having connections who helped you reach success, or worse! Cheating your way to victory!
It will hurt, don’t get me wrong. But you’ll know exactly who these people are and you’ll know what to do with this trash.
4. They want to know your desires, plans, goals, and dreams.
Why? Because if they know what they are, they know where to sabotage you and gain a sense of power over your life.
Understand that any time you’re bullied, it isn’t so much the bullies who are the most harmful to you. It’s the betrayal of those you thought were your friends.
That’s what hurts the most and can be devastating.
Moreover, what makes this so crushing is the knowing the person duped you into handing over your trust.
You not only feel violated, you feel like a complete idiot for allowing the person into your life, to begin with. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Feeling that you, in a sense, allowed it to happen.
5. Why Fake Friends Stick Around is To feel superior.
Think about it. By continuing to put up with fake friends, you’ve lowered your standards and they know it.
Understand that, in a fake friendship, the entire friend relationship is based on conditions. Also, these types of friendships are one-sided. It’s about what you can do for them.
Therefore, they’re getting all the benefits of the friendship and you’re getting zero! To continue clinging to this type of friendship suggests to the other person that you’re inferior.
Also, it means that you’re so desperate for friends that you’ll willing to eat shit just to keep from being alone.
And you’ve got to admit. It’s pathetic! Therefore, stop doing things that are beneath you and holding on to friendships that aren’t good for you.
Know that you’re better than that. And you deserve much better!
Again, remember that for them to be superior requires you to be inferior.
6. You convenience them somehow.
Many fake friends continue to hang around because of the conveniences you bring to the friendship. For example, you let your friend girl barrow your favorite sweater only for her not to return it.
Another example would be that you help them move their things when they get kicked out of their apartment for failure to pay rent. However, when you have to move because of a bad break-up or divorce, they never show up.
However, once you figure this person out, it’s GAME OVER!
Now’s the time to cut off any benefits this creep may have gotten from you and end the friendship right then and there.
So, how do you weed these fakes out before they get the chance to betray you?
Here’s how:
1. Be yourself.
When you are your true, authentic self, you only naturally drive away the fakers. These are people who don’t need to be in your life in the first place. This is a good thing because they would only harm you later.
Better to rid yourself of them now rather than to wait until you establish a connection and get close to them.
Why? Because once you’re close to someone, you naturally give them the benefit of a doubt. Also, it’s much harder to believe they would ever hurt you. Even worse, even more difficult to have the courage to show them the nearest exit.
Therefore, it’s better to weed them out now and save yourself that heartache.
Why Fake Friends Stick Around
2. Voice your opinions.
This is more important to do today, than ever! Most people nowadays tend to get abusive and bent out of shape when they find out that you don’t have the same opinions, beliefs or convictions as they do.
So, do you want and let people see the real, authentic you. If people around you don’t respect your rights to be a separate individual with an independent mind, that’s your clue to ditch and switch!
It’s true that we should always respect the opinions of others, even though we don’t always agree with them. However, many don’t live by that virtue these days.
Therefore, when people resort to ad hominem attacks when you don’t agree with their views, they only reveal their own evil intolerance.
Realize that when you’re authentic, you force people to reveal their true natures and tell you all you need to know about them.
And this is how you weed out all the fakes and attract the people who truly value you and who deserve the privilege of being in your life! In cases like this, you don’t lose friends, you lose frauds!
Always remember that!
This post was all about the reasons why fake friends stick around to embolden you to ditch them, raise your standards, and choose people who are real friends.
1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators
2. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot
3. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect
4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence
🙏
Aum Shanti
Thank you so much, Shanti!
This all true and needs t o be said.
Thank you, Michael! Much appreciated!
Welcome back!😃❤️
Thank you so much, Tonya!
🤍🤍
Thank you, Christine!
In 2002, I was good friends with a Jabba The Hutt-looking comic book guy at a flea market. He then wanted to be more than friends, even though I made it clear that I didn’t want to. Once he learned what my specific interests were, he took them away from me, insisting I “gave them up” when we – in his imagination – “became a couple”. He wouldn’t let me have other friends, watch TV, listen to music, you name it. Heck, he even lost it when I scored tickets to the Who at Madison Square Garden that summer, as he was offended by my infatuation with Roger Daltrey. After months of persistent harassment, I cut off all contact and haven’t spoken to him since, even hanging up on him when he tried to make amends that Christmas.
And in 2014, another fake friend was even more dangerous. She would hold me hostage on Facebook messenger for hours, forcing me to chat with her, when she knew I had more important tings to do. When I finally broke it off, she continued persistently harassing me and my spouse, until it got to the point where we had to get a restraining order. She hasn’t harassed us since.
Sara, I’m so sorry she did that to you. It’s obvious that she didn’t respect your boundaries and you did right by cutting ties. Know that, in life, you will encounter such people. And when you do, you must distance yourself from them because they don’t comprehend personal boundaries. And you did that. You went no contact and that’s the best thing to do. I’m proud of you.
I am sorry but I am going to have to partially disagree with some things posted by Sarah. We should be able to discuss issues openly if this blog is going to have merit.
Let’s begin with her initial comment on the Comic Book guy looking like Jabba the Hut. Excuse me but this is supposed to be an Anti-bullying Blog yet what she said is indeed BULLYING. Maybe the guy was overweight who knows but would a horrible term to come from an adult. Maybe he wasn’t her cut of tea but that was completely unnecessary. She could have said she was with someone else or wasn’t interested but instead attacked his looks, the very thing bullies do. Now if what she is accurate about him “taking things away” from her, that’s horrible but that story doesn’t exactly line up. How would someone who was only a friend allowed to have that type of control and power. There is more to that story than meets the eye. It simply does not add up. If he had that type of power and control, she allowed out that to happen.
As far as the second one goes, once again something doesn’t meet the smell test. Either this stuff isn’t true or Sarah allows anyone in her life full control of her. First of all, friends do talk to one another. In terms of something like FB messenger, I come from the belief that if a friend needs or wants to talk to me, I should show them enough respect to give them an appropriate amount of time. Nothing is ruder than to be slow to respond or giving one word answers or leaving during the middle of a conversation. That is a toxic friend and not really a friend at all. That being said, if someone is busy I always say. Got lots going on. I will message you in a little while or I have about 30 minutes right now (I always give friends 15-30 minutes at a minimal if we are chatting). If she is keeping someone for many hours then that doesn’t add up. You simply cut it off. I will never shortchange any true friend on time but I think all reasonable people know that an hour is more than a reasonable amount of time unless you are seeing someone in person.
This stuff doesn’t add up, no offense!
PJ, she was voicing an opinion, granted, not a good opinion of him, but nevertheless, an opinion of his looks. Bullying is when you repeated single someone out and attack them to harm them. Therefore, she was not bullying him. Many people think that I am stuck up because I’m reserved and they said it openly. I understand that this is their opinion. Therefore, it doesn’t offend me because, in order for other people’s opinions to offend you, you must first VALUE their opinions. She is not repeatedly attacking him.
They have a right to that opinion of me although it isn’t a good one. So, they’re not bullying me until they target me and repeatedly attack me to cause me harm. I have a post coming up in a few months that deals with this kind of thing.
On the other issue, she says that the friend held her hostage on facebook when she knew Sara had other things she needed to do. Just because she didn’t mention about telling the person that she was busy doesn’t mean that she didn’t. She also said that the person KNEW she had other things to do, so I assume that she tried to tell the person. I’ve been in that situation too and many times, I’ve had them ignore my telling them that I needed to “go to bed” or that “I was in the middle of something and had to jump off social media for now.” That’s not being a good friend, that’s simply asserting boundaries. I’ve had people ignore that and keep sending me messages and that’s disrespectful, not to mention, annoying.
Therefore, my heart goes out to her because, some people are pushy like that and sometimes you have to get ugly before they’ll get the hint. You don’t want to get ugly, but sometimes you have no choice. No, her choice of words may not have been the nicest, but if the guy wouldn’t leave her alone, then people may say things out of frustration.
Here’s another example: If some guy rudely runs into me in the supermarket and says, “Watch where the &%$# you’re going, stupid broad.” This still doesn’t make him a bully. Does it make him an asshole? Absolutely. But not a bully.
All in all, I think people need to learn the difference between bullying and voicing an opinion. Also, I think people need to learn the difference between being a bully and just being an asshole. There are people in this world who are just assholes and have a crappy attitude, but some of them aren’t bullies because they don’t go out of their way to stalk and target anyone. In other words, all bullies are assholes but not all assholes are bullies.
I don’t know her situation and neither do you. I can only go by what people tell me on here and support them the best I possibly can.
We are not going to agree on this because she CHOSE to apparently continue to be friends with him and according to what she said he kept doing all these things etc before she cut him off. I am sorry but two and two don’t add up. And that is where you are wrong. Bullying begins with that sort of name calling, that’s where it starts so at the very least it is the roots of all that. All you do is cut him off and she apparently didn’t mind his attention etc at first. I am simply stating, let’s not play the victim role here. He may have acted inappropriately but so did she.
I don’t know if she did or not because I wasn’t there to see it. But you do have a right to your opinion and I’ll leave it there.