Meet Your Bullies Where They Are

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“What does this mean?” You may ask. It means that you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Put simpler, when a bully is in your face, they will go no holds barred and you can’t afford to be nice about it. There is no being polite. There is no way to handle a bully “nicely” because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage. Also, there is no being quiet because a bully will take your silence as being afraid.

In other words, never try to handle a bully politely. Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

Sometimes, nice and polite doesn’t work

Understand that once you’ve done everything to try and defuse the situation peacefully and the bully keeps coming back, it’s time to get down and dirty. Remember that you’re in a battle and when you’re in a battle, there’s no time to hold back and try to be the bigger person. Because when it reaches this level, that’s when things can get dangerous fast.

You must be willing to go off on the bully and think nothing of it. You have to call them out and you can’t do it being nice. Sometimes you need to get nasty. There are times you must get just as dirty as they do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. You’re in a situation where you could get hurt and you must protect yourself by any means necessary but legal. And self-defense is legal.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

This is not the time to be concerned with what people think

In school, I have classmates tell me, “You shouldn’t have cursed so-and-so out because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.” Really? However, it’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had me backed in a corner and was unloading on me and all of a sudden, I was the bad guy for using bad words.

Realize that when you’re forced to get just as nasty as a bully, there will be people who try to tell you the same thing. Instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with, “Funny, you never said a word during all the times they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say? Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

It’s about putting yourself before them

Tell them how you feel and what you think of them because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you. You have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. When some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they just might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

Therefore, meet the bully where they are.

18 thoughts on “Meet Your Bullies Where They Are

  1. 80smetalman says:

    This is great advice. As a male, I had to deal with the threat of physical violence. My advice is to fight like a wild cat when backed into a corner.

  2. Tee says:

    True that! I think that is the mistake many make is not standing up to a Bully. Some people are timid by nature and just generally laid back so it doesn’t come easy but you have to stand your ground and that in some occasions may even come down to frankly a physical confrontation but everyone needs to remember, the bully is the one who takes on the risk. If he/she loses then they get exposed and if they win, it was expected anyway because they led their followers to believe they were king/queen of the mountain.

    Ms.White can I offer some constructive criticism regarding your Blog/Cause, etc? What you do is amazing work but you are hard to reach from what I understand. So many people may have questions privately thru email Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, etc and from my understanding you don’t check those that often other than your political views on Twitter (not a criticism). So many people need help or just someone to talk to and that is part of advocacy. Hope you will make time for that because your cause is important.

    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:
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      Thank you so much, Tee. And my apologies for being hard to contact. Facebook messenger is a joke and they’re usually a week to a month late in notifying me of any new messages. I’m currently working on this website and researching adding my own website email to it. Also, on the main page of this site is a contact page. Here’s the link. https://authorcheriewhite.com/contact-the-author/

      Again, my sincerest apologies.

  3. Tee says:

    No worries. Interesting, I never have any issues with Facebook Messenger myself but I check it every day and always respond to everyone. I try to give everyone at least 15 minutes of my time, I feel like if someone talks to me they need a friend or just a chat and that is good for all our mental health. Some of the other websites I don’t use as much. A little bit of Instagram .

    • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:
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      That’s awesome. I checked messenger last night and didn’t see you there. Maybe you messaged under a different name? Also, I don’t respond to strangers that leave messages of “Hi,” “Hello,” or anything like that because I get lots of these and they are usually scammers or lonely hearts looking for an online romance. I have no time for those. Not trying to be mean. I’m just putting that out there. Just tell me what the message is about and I’ll do my best to respond when I get the notification.

      • Tee says:

        No, I didn’t say I sent anything. I was just saying though that it is my understanding that there are some that have gotten frustrated before as I have read your Blog many times (And it is quite good!) that have indicated (mostly when you were on the other site, WordPress) that they were trying to contact you through email or Messenger maybe a few other places too. I was simply saying I would check those things every day, multiple times because this is important work you are doing. You never want to give off the impression this is just a money making brand that’s intention is to make money not help others. Be well!

        • authorcheriewhite_xpmr1f says:
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          No, this is not a money maker yet. I started this blog with the sole intention of helping people. Only recently have I discovered that I have something here that might earn a good living. There’s nothing wrong with that as I’m not trying to get rich. However, I would like to earn a good living doing what I love and what I love is blogging and writing to help targets of bullying. I’m working on getting a separate email that is strictly for this blog so that I can better reach those I’m trying to help. Using my personal email has caused many problems as I have had to wade through tons of junk emails and personal emails in order to get to the emails from people who need me. Also, google has mistakenly thrown many legitimate emails into the spam folder. Therefore, a seperate email for this blog is highly needed. But thank you for the heads up. It’s very much appreciated. 💖

          • Tee says:

            Yes I would just create a separate Google account for that. In terms of making money, definitely nothing wrong with making some blogging cash. I think the biggest thing though is there are a few Anti-bullying websites/companies that started off well but got to where most of the bullied had trouble reaching them or just someone needing a friend (which can be part of the downtrodden). They get to where the profit overrides helping others. If helping others isn’t priority one then what starts off with the best of intentions becomes a business and those who have truly been discriminated against, bullying, etc can always see right through places like that. Not saying that is you at all. I would say this to anyone, don’t lose the vision.

            I will also say that making money off of blogging etc is good for some pocket change but it takes years and having tons of people reading one’s stuff, etc to truly be profitable. You have a good thing here but it will take a lot of time. My advice to people in blogging, writing is never let it be your full-time source of income. People have to have second jobs etc to live because there are just so many blogs out there, you have to stand out in a tough market.

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