‘Want to know about baiting and the tactics bullies use to bait you into a reaction? Here are all the bully bait-tactics you need to know about.
Another tactic in the bully’s toolkit is to bait you by provoking you into an emotional reaction so that they can turn everything around on you and make you look like the evil one.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about baiting, the purpose of it, and what you can do to protect yourself against it.
Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to better handle any provocation with class. Also, you have a better chance of exposing your bullies and a lesser chance of getting blamed for someone else’s bad behavior.
This post is all about baiting, how bullies do it, and what you can do to defend against it.
Baiting, Bashing, and Blaming
1. They Bait you by provoking you.
Believe it or not, there is a method to the bully’s madness. Bullies are master life-chess players. They put a lot of forethought into their attacks against you. Always. Here’s how bullies can bully and get away with it.
Baiting
First, your bullies will bait you. They do this by provoking you for a reaction. If you blow it off and refuse to react, they will only intensify and increase the taunts. Albeit slowly and subtly.
Why? You might ask.
Bullies do this to wear you down, over time, until they achieve the reaction they want from you. Understand that bullies are very much aware that everyone has a breaking point. Moreover, they are relentless.
They will also provoke you in front of bystanders and witnesses.
Bashing
For example, your bullies repeatedly provoke you until they push you over your limit. You then react by yelling, telling them off, cursing them out, or punching one of them in the face.
Next, your bullies weaponize your perfectly human and justifiable reaction.
In other words, they will weasel their way into the hearts of bystanders and authority. Moreover, they’ll do it by using superficial charm and charisma to play the victims.
Your bullies will bash you by using your reaction as proof that you’re unhinged. Therefore, they’ll very meticulously make it look as though you’re at fault.
Understand that bullies do this to distract attention away from their bad behavior and project it onto you. Therefore, making you look like the guilty party.
Blaming
Once your bullies have succeeded in turning everyone against you, they entice others to join them in shaming you. Everyone may gang up on you, making statements such as, “Aww! You just need to toughen up!” or “Can’t you take a joke?”
Others may accuse you of “bringing it all on yourself” when in reality, the opposite is true. It is the bullies who have harassed you for months, even years.
You may have tried to handle the bullying calmly and objectively. However, after so long, you only succumbed to exhaustion and reached your limit.
Baiting:
What happens when you report the bullying?
When you report the abuse, staff is likely to blame you and refuse to hold your bullies accountable. Consequently, your bullies will only take this as a green light to continue tormenting you in the future.
Bystanders and witnesses will refuse to help you because they’ll only see you in a negative light. Therefore, you’ll have no other choice but to endure the torment in silence.
Moreover, you’ll eventually clam up because you know that no one will believe you anyway. You’ll know know that your bullies will only punish you for snitching.
And they’ll only further tarnish your already damaged reputation. And why not? By this point, there’s a strong chance that no one will believe her anyway.
Each time you make a report, those who are often in a position to help, will only blow you off. Why? Because they’ll think that the torture you endure is justified.
This will only do more to embolden your bullies, while damaging you.
Moreover, the more brazen your bullies become, the more the bullying will escalate. In other words, the more frequent and intense the attacks will become.
And it continue until the bullying becomes dangerous or even life-threatening. Therefore, the bullying will only end when they kill you, maim you, or you transfer or die by suicide.
Then the bullies will move on to another victim.
What do bullies have to gain from baiting you?
Understand that successful baiting gives bullies feelings of power and control. Moreover, this gives them a sense of invincibility.
In other words, because they’ve gotten away with abusing you, they now think they’re untouchable. Your bullies also get to enjoy favor and sympathy from everyone else.
Bullies also use this strategy to strike fear in and silence you. Therefore, it discourages any future attempts at speaking out.
As a result, it insulates the bullies from exposure. As long as you can’t talk, you can’t expose them for the cowardly, sniveling pieces of human filth they really are.
If bullies target you for abuse, you already know too well how it feels to be mistreated and then blamed for your own torment. It’s horrible enough when others constantly bully you. However, it’s much worse when they blame you for the bullying you suffer.
In fact, it can downright devastate you because it leaves you feeling completely powerless!
Again, realize that this is just another weapon bullies use and how they trick people into allowing them to continue with impunity. And it is nothing new! Bullies have always used this method.
Therefore, remember the 3 ‘B’s- Bait, Bash, and Blame. Once you do, you will be better able to explain your situation when you report the harassment. At the same time, expect bullies to retaliate some way or another.
2. Instigation
This type of baiting is indirect and extremely cowardly. In other words, these types of bullies don’t have the guts to be direct or the stomach to get their hands dirty.
Therefore, they do their bullying by instigating a conflict between you and another individual. They then stand back, at a safe distance, and watch from afar. As they watch, they enjoy seeing you get humiliated by someone else.
Moreover, the individual these bullies pit against you probably won’t be the type of person who bullies anyone. In fact, they’ll likely be someone who doesn’t even have a history of conflicts with you.
The person they pit against you will most likely be a stranger, an acquaintance, friend, teacher, or supervisor. Understand that your bullies will do this to divide and conquer.
Baiting:
Divide and Conquer
There are several reasons bullies bait you using instigation:
- To create a situation where they can gleefully watch as someone else reams you out.
- For the purpose of turning others against you.
- To create drama and entertainment
- They want to parade you in front of an audience
- To distract attention from their own evil deeds. In other words, if two or more people are too busy fighting and others are too busy watching and getting their kicks, they’re too occupied to pay attention to what your bullies are doing.
- To isolate you by making you look like the bad guy. The more people the bullies can turn against you, the worse you look, and the less power you have.
Often, when you’re a target of bullying by instigation, the person or people your bullies have pitted against you will start their sentences off as:
- “Hey! I heard you’re trying to get with my boyfriend!”
- “Somebody told me that you did…”
- “I heard you told so-and-so such and such!”
- “Somebody told me you’re talking smack about me behind me back! How about having the guts to say it to my face!”
Your First Clues of baiting by instigation
If you’re a target of bullying and someone has instigated a conflict between you and someone you don’t usually have trouble with, the first words out of your accuser’s mouth will be,
- “I heard…”,
- “Somebody told me…”
- “It’s going around that…”
or - “It was brought to my attention…”
Those first few little words are your first clues of bullying by instigation, and that one or more of your bullies is trying to pit these people against you.
The Correct Way to Respond
Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying and you’re ever in a situation like this, here are a few comebacks you can’t make to the accuser:
Laugh at the accuser and say one of these,
- “Really? You ‘heard,’? You’re so gullible you’ll believe anything, won’t you?”
- “Wow! And you believed that? Boy, are you a moron!”
- “Gee, you’ll fall for anything, won’t you!”
The trick is to challenge the accuser’s intelligence, then walk away laughing. Your accuser will be stunned, and your bullies, who are surely watching from afar, will be sorely disappointed.
Therefore, always imply that your accuser is a fool for believing the lies, and I guarantee that the person will back down. It’s what worked for me.
How I wish I were this quick in school. But, as an adult, I was better able to defuse it by the above counter statements.
3. Baiting: The Secret Admirer Bait
A bully will use this to bait someone to insult and humiliate the target.
Here’s how it goes:
For example, your bullies and a few classmates or coworkers see you when you’re nearby and within earshot. If you’re female, your bullies point to a nearby male and say,
“Hey, (your name)! John said he was madly in love with you!”
John then goes on the defensive and says,
“Oh, hell, no! I don’t like that ugly thing!”
Or, he might say, “That whore? No freakin’ way!”
Therefore, by doing this, the bullies slyly bait John into a knee-jerk reaction. And his reaction includes insulting and humiliating you just to drive home the point that he hates your guts.
As a result, you’re hurt and embarrassed and your bullies get their gratification in seeing John humiliate you.
Though the secret admirer bait is mostly used in middle and high school, people have used it on targeted adults in the workplace.
4. The Invitation bait
In this situation, the bullies will, all of a sudden and out of nowhere, become chummy with you. They will pretend to have a change of heart. Therefore, understand that your bullies will do this to bring down your defenses and win your trust.
However, BEWARE!
Why? Because, once they win your trust, the bullies will invite you to a birthday party, cookout, sleepover, kegger, or reunion. They will then set you up for either a physical attack or humiliation.
Furthermore, they may also get you drunk or high, then manipulate you into compromising situations. Again, this is used by both school-aged and adult bullies.
Baiting:
Here’s how to shut these monsters down.
Understand that no one ever becomes true friends overnight. Therefore, if someone who has bullied you suddenly starts to buddy up to you, and it seems to have come out of nowhere, it’s a red flag!
Steer clear!
Also, you’ll know it’s all fake if you pay attention. Why? Because when your bullies try to win over your trust, they will lay it on thick!
They’ll overdo the flattery. Moreover, it will sound so sweet, you’ll want to grab a barf bag. However, remember that bullies are very convincing. If you’re young and still in school, you’re likely to overlook the yuck if you aren’t careful.
So don’t fall for it! Don’t go anywhere with those people. Because once you’re alone with them, you’re at their mercy!
If you’re a kid in school and bullies use the secret admirer bait and trick someone into humiliating you, deal out a good burn for the person they baited into insulting you.
For example, you can say, “No chance. I could never be that desperate, and you could never be that lucky.”
Then keep walking.
Your witty comeback will sting the poor sucker who took the bully’s bait and tried to insult you. But hey! Better them than you. Right?
5. They bait you into explaining yourself.
Understand that anytime you feel you must explain yourself, you do so from a place of powerlessness. Moreover, bullies and their followers will pretend that they don’t understand or they’ll never accept anything you have to say.
Therefore, know that you don’t owe them any explanations. Save the explanations for people who are worthy of them, such as a parent, teacher, or supervisor.
This post was all about baiting, how bullies do it, and how you respond so that you can emerge with strength and power!
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target
2. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of
3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth
4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them
I love the comebacks here and I wish I knew them back in the day.
Thank you so much, Michael. This means a lot.
Another great subject! This is an area not talked about enough. Yes there are plenty of bullies who just aren’t very nice people and their belittling of others is simply juvenile and lacking in thought process. BUT! Far too often, people make excuses (especially for children middle school age and above) claiming they don’t any better. So untrue! Some bullies 100 percent plot out what they are doing and try using cunning. I always think about stuff like the movie Carrie or even the more modern film, Never Been Kissed. Plotted out bullying!
One, often times they will look for areas that they know are triggers. Even if they don’t initially know the trigger, they will keep looking until they find something that makes a bullying victim go off. I always think about body shaming for example. How many girls in particular are struggling with puberty, starting their period, growing breasts, etc. Then someone gets on say Tik Tok or real life and attacks the physical changes. It has lead many to suicide or a life-time of low self-esteem.
Two, they love to spread lies knowing it will get back to the victim and there are always those people who want to believe something negative. Even better, is them convincing someone the victim considers a friend/romantic interest. Third, Social Media has made it very very easy to bait someone. People need to learn how to block, unfriend/unfollow people when needed. And when it comes to Social Media followers/friends, ask yourself are they really interested in my content or are they acting “spying” for an enemy. Lastly, they sometimes will bait you into a physical fight. I am a firm believer in defending one’s self and standing up for yourself physically. However, be smart! Sometimes they will bate you and you throw the first punch or the first shove, which I completely get if someone is torturing you. However, they will often play innocent and if you are the only one who did something physical then there may be consequences. That being said, there are times you have to take a stand even if you know a consequence is coming.
Thank you so much, Bradley. You’re right about every point you made there, especially the last one. You do have to defend yourself no matter the cost. However, many targets of bullying are afraid of getting into trouble with authority. However, they must ask themselves this. Would they rather take a 3 day suspension or spend the rest of their lives being somebody’s bitch? I think I’ll take the 3 days.
Yes, it is hard, especially when you are young, to take a Big Picture point of view. Sure a 3 day Suspension for something you didn’t start sucks and some children don’t have parents who understand what they are going through, but I will take the 3 day Suspension over 3 or 4 YEARS of torment any day. And I do think many parents understand that if a kid is afraid to go to school or being tortured daily, they did what they had to do. Put it this way. Simple rule at my house. Don’t let me find out you are disrespectful or bullying other people BUT if you are being bullied/tortured stand up for yourself. If you standing up for yourself is justified then I have your back.
Exactly right, Bradley! Don’t you dare start anything. But if anyone starts anything with you, finish it!