Self-doubt is the killer of dreams. It comes when a person is consistently showered with toxicity and toxicity comes from toxic people- bullies and abusers. When all a person gets is insults and abuse for a long period of time, they become exhausted and any positivity they once had is slowly drained from them until they’re totally depleted of it.
Eventually, if targets aren’t careful, they’ll start to believe their abusers. They start seeing themselves through the eyes of their bullies. They’ll give up and others will see in them, a person who’s lackluster and slow.
When you’re a target of bullying, you’re like a flower that gets nothing but constant rain. The flower doesn’t grow and develop properly. The consistent abuse zaps your energy and keeps you hyper-vigilant and on guard 24/7- waiting for the other shoe to drop.
What happens is you lose your happiness, confidence, pride, will, and purpose in life. In essence, your bullies take away your good qualities and turn you into a person you don’t even recognize anymore.
Bullying and abuse takes the joy out of your life and you begin to daydream about escaping your current situation. If there is no escape route available, you feel stuck. Then, you isolate yourself and become a recluse. You retreat into your own little fantasy world because it just feels safer that way.
Finally, you stop growing as a person because you live inside your head instead of observing life that’s going on around you and learning the lessons life is trying to teach you. All the while, the bullying and abuse you suffer only gets worse because everyone around you knows that you’re living inside your head and they ridicule you for it.
And people who do not know what you are going through or don’t understand you may mistake you for being lazy, slow, or stupid. But it only causes you to retreat further inside yourself and the bullying only gets worse. It is a vicious cycle, and it is no way to live!
Not only do I understand how you feel inside, I understand why. Just as flowers can’t grow without sunlight, people can’t grow without positivity. Flowers need a good balance of rain and sunlight and people need a good balance of positivity and negativity. They cannot survive on just negativity nor positivity.
Too much negativity or, in this case, toxicity, and the person’s emotional and psychological growth will be stunted. Then, their happiness, confidence, and dreams will die, and they’ll give up. Too much positivity, and they lose touch with the real world and real people, then become arrogant, full of themselves, demanding, and tyrannical! There has to be a healthy balance of both before a person can truly grow.
Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, never accept what bullies and abusers try to cram down your throat. I want you to realize that they don’t know you at all, although they may claim they know you more than you know yourself. The truth is, nobody can possibly know you like that and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying through their teeth.
Understand that bullies and abusers are miserable people who want you to be as miserable as they are. Stay away from those people. They aren’t worth your time or energy. Only keep company with people who love you and who uplift you!
Remember that there’s always hope and you’re worth much more than what your bullies say you are and more than you may think you are. Never let bullies destroy the things inside you that matter the most- your self-love, self-respect, confidence, and sense of pride. Those things are yours and not for anyone else to have!
And how you do this is through self-care. If at all possible, remove yourself from the bullying environment and go to a new place where you can grow and flourish, and where you can make friends and be no only accepted, but celebrated!
Be your own best friend. Be your own hero. Be your own sunlight! Keep company with people who allow you to shine and the sun to shine on you!
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “Flowers Can’t Grow and Bloom Without Sunlight”
You are describing me. I’m so old and tired now, it seems hopeless to do anything…🌧️🌧️🌧️
My heart goes out to you, Joe. I know the feeling.
“Remember that there’s always hope and you’re worth much more than what your bullies say you are and more than you may think you are.”
Thank you so much Karla! 💓
You’re welcome my friend! 💕🤗
Awe Cherie, you just explained my life the past 5 years. I did feel that way, for a long time but with perseverance, education, counselling, posts by others, and constant self-talk, I am where I am today. Getting free of influence of bullies words and actions. It took me 5 yrs to get to this point but I know it won’t take as long to get where I need to be.
Absolutely, Stella! And it will be very soon! 😊
Love this; I needed to hear this today! Your words spoke to me! Thank you! 🌻✨☀️
You’re most welcome. 😊 💖
Let the Lord re-root You and transplant You in Him!!
– I am the Vine; you are the branches. Whoever lives in Me and I in him bears much (abundant) fruit. However, apart from Me [cut off from vital union with Me] you can do nothing (John 15:5) Thanks Cherie💕
You’re very welcome. And what an awesome and true verse! He is Life!
Go to the light little children, go to the light! (channeling my inner Tangina from Poltergeist)! 😵🙀🤣 No, but seriously though, you nailed another great message Cherie. 👏🏼 Yes ma’am bullies want you to be as miserable as they are, or even worse. Don’t give them the satisfaction by staying in darkness. Very few things like roaches and snakes dwell there. Let the sunshine in sweetie pie! 🌞🌟🌞
Amen, sistah!! And you’re so right about the roaches and snakes! 🤣😂🤣😂 Girl! Thank you for giving me a good laugh out loud moment! And possibly a good idea for a future blog post!
Girl, you know you always give me a throwback moment. 🤪 You remind me of that Jim Stafford song, “🕷 Spiders and 🐍 Snakes” for your upcoming post. Yep, I can see that now! LOL 🤣😆😂 Go on and bust a move girlfriend!!! 🎶💃🏽🎵
😂🤣😂🤣 I sure will girl! You know it! 🎶🎸💃 Now I’m gonna go listen to “Spiders and Snakes!” 😜
And I love that movie “Poltergeist!” One of my favorites (the original movie, not the remake- remakes suck!) 😊😊😊
I know, the original was off the hook. They moved the headstones but they didn’t move the bodies! 🙀 Let the sunshine in girlfriend! 🌞🌟🌞
Oooo, I remember that! Freaky!
But the sun is shining bright here, girlie! And it chased away all the darkness and evil spirits! 😁😁😁
Booyah! 🤜🏼🤛🏼 There you go! Bask in the sunlight my dear! 🌞✨🌟 Go on and bring the sunlight to that space where darkness tries to suck you in! 😍😁🥰
You betcha, girl! 🌞🌞🌞💐🌻🌺
Yes self doubt is detrimental!! I wish I was better with it 🥺
I was plagued with it too once upon a time. I wasted a lot of good years with it! 😥
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