Your Mind Is Yours and Yours Alone. Keep It That Way.

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Bullies don’t only want to hurt you or destroy your good name. More than anything, they want to get into your head and alter your mind.

The worst thing about bullying isn’t the physical assaults. Cuts and bruises heal easily. It isn’t even the name-calling, the smears, the rumors, or the marginalization. It’s what it can do to the mind if we aren’t careful.

The worst thing that can happen to a target of bullying is when he begins to believe what he’s being told. The worst thing that happens is when she begins to see herself through the eyes of the very people who hate her and who want nothing more from her than her complete destruction and ruination.

Anytime a target begins to believe he is nothing, he does himself a huge disservice because he discards his own definition of him and replaces it with that of his bullies. He values the bullies’ opinions over his own.

I cannot stress enough the importance of loving yourself even when it looks as if others don’t love you back. You must continue to believe in yourself even when it seems that no one else does. You must also continue to stand your ground even when people want to bury you in it.’

That’s how you keep your confidence and self-esteem from tanking. It’s how you keep even a little bit of your dignity and it’s how you protect your spirit from being broken.

Yes, your confidence may take many blows, but it doesn’t have to die. Your self-esteem may be pummeled, but you can keep it for hitting rock bottom. Bullies may break off pieces of your dignity, but you don’t have to give them the piece of it you still hold for yourself. Your spirit may take a hard beating, but only you decide whether to let them break it.

In short, you don’t have to surrender everything that matters to your bullies.’

You have more power than you know. Your thoughts are the freest commodity you have. No matter what they take from you, they can never take your mind if you don’t let them.

“Power is not what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.” ~ Saul D. Alinsky (Rules for Radicals)

Think about that quote for a moment and realize that it’s what all bullies live by.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

0 thoughts on “Your Mind Is Yours and Yours Alone. Keep It That Way.

  1. Adefemi Olajide says:

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  2. lindyjensen says:

    Very good points. I’m someone who has been bullied a lot and something I’m learning is you decide what you want to tolerate and it takes a lot of practice to be able to walk away and keep your peace

  3. mygeminiandi says:

    I never liked the mantra of “sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me”
    Obviously written by someone who has never tried to heal the broken heart of a wounded child.
    My biggest bully was my dad. He told me multiple times a day how stupid I was and how I would never amount to anything. As I got older it became more frequent, to multiple times a day.
    When I had my son, I was CRYSTAL Clear with my expectations of him as a grandfather (after learning that he had used the word dumb towards my 6 yr old nephew).
    At the Thanksgiving dinner table, with the entire family present, I said “Under no circumstances will you ever tell my children that they are dumb or stupid. Period. You only have one chance to screw that up and you will never ever see me or my children ever again, do you understand?”
    I know the damage that those scars leave. Bones heal.
    A wounded heart is so much harder to heal.
    I can still occasionally hear his voice in my head and myself following his narrative, but I am able to stop and challenge it these days. Thank God for an amazing psychologist who has worked with me nearly weekly for over 19 years.
    Thank you for your post Cherie.

    • cheriewhite says:

      You’re most welcome, dear! And I’m so sorry for what your dad put you through! 💔 But I’m so proud of you for standing up to your father, especially when it came to your son! 😊😊😊

      I wish I could’ve seen your dad’s reaction after you set him straight! 😜

      • mygeminiandi says:

        Thank you- That was awesome actually. I was looking him in the eye, and then I watched my mom give him her “so there” look, and he looked back and didn’t want to verbally respond, so I said I didn’t hear your response, do you understand? He grumbled and said “yes, I understand!”
        It is one of my proudest moments of standing up for myself. I am a fierce Mama Lion when it comes to my kids.
        I didn’t have those skills as a child. It hard to turn off negative programming, especially when it has been there for longer than my memory.
        I had to completely stop each
        time and consciously say, “That is a lie”, and replace it with a positive.
        Thank you again so much for your post. You are awesome!!!
        Have you ever had the experience of having a doctor be a bully? Just curious 🤔

        • cheriewhite says:

          Yes I have. And I had to find another doctor because this one wasn’t only a bully, he was a quack and had already been kicked out of a few hospitals. He basically lost his hospital privileges. I love the doctor I have now! He is compassionate and has such a great bedside manner. 💖🌺💐🌞

          • mygeminiandi says:

            That is awesome. I have to have an entire team of doctors. But they all work well with each other.
            A must for me.
            I returned home from 6+ months of eating disorder treatment, away from my family, one of my hardest decisions. But eating disorders and type 1 diabetes do not work well together.
            I am certain that had I not, that I would not be writing this to you.
            Upon returning home I began investigating another attempt at finding someone who could do a double hip replacement surgery. I began working with a top rated medical school. I had several appointments with the fellow who worked with the surgeon and she was awesome.
            After a couple months, my husband accompanied me to my 1st appointment.
            The Top condition on my chart was long-term eating disorder followed by diabetes and victim of child abuse.
            This guy was almost as round as he was tall. He was about 5′ 5″.
            He waddled in like the penguin in Batman, my chart in hand, and said (without an introduction)
            “The First you need to do is lose at least 40 pounds before I would even consider operating on you.”
            ( I was max 170 and I am 5’6″)
            Instantly my FU thesaurus flew open and I thought of all the ways I could tell him to go F himself.
            But didn’t. Instead I said
            “So that file in your hand, did you read it, or are you you carrying it around so you can fan yourself with it.”
            “If you had ‘thoroughly reviewed my medical’ as you claim- then you would have noticed that I recently returned from an intensive inpatient eating disorder facility after 6 1/2 months of living 5 states away from my children and my husband, a condition that I have dealt with since I was 8 years old (36 years).
            You just contradicted every medical professional in my life for the past decade who pleaded with me to get help, without so much as an introduction. Even our insurance company was begging me to go and they just paid $3,000/day for me to go, where I paid my $150 copay.
            And you just waddle in here and make a comment that would have in the past, sent me spiraling in the worst possible way.
            You, Sir are a cold, inconsiderate Asshole and I would never let you operate on me.”
            Then I stood up and headed for the door, while he sat there with that WTF just happened look and said
            “I need to lose 40 pounds, dude, have YOU looked in the mirror recently, if that’s true then you have at least 60#”
            One of the best way I dealt with a crappy doctor.

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