Bullies don’t only want to hurt you or destroy your good name. More than anything, they want to get into your head and alter your mind.
The worst thing about bullying isn’t the physical assaults. Cuts and bruises heal easily. It isn’t even the name-calling, the smears, the rumors, or the marginalization. It’s what it can do to the mind if we aren’t careful.
The worst thing that can happen to a target of bullying is when he begins to believe what he’s being told. The worst thing that happens is when she begins to see herself through the eyes of the very people who hate her and who want nothing more from her than her complete destruction and ruination.
Anytime a target begins to believe he is nothing, he does himself a huge disservice because he discards his own definition of him and replaces it with that of his bullies. He values the bullies’ opinions over his own.
I cannot stress enough the importance of loving yourself even when it looks as if others don’t love you back. You must continue to believe in yourself even when it seems that no one else does. You must also continue to stand your ground even when people want to bury you in it.’
That’s how you keep your confidence and self-esteem from tanking. It’s how you keep even a little bit of your dignity and it’s how you protect your spirit from being broken.
Yes, your confidence may take many blows, but it doesn’t have to die. Your self-esteem may be pummeled, but you can keep it for hitting rock bottom. Bullies may break off pieces of your dignity, but you don’t have to give them the piece of it you still hold for yourself. Your spirit may take a hard beating, but only you decide whether to let them break it.
In short, you don’t have to surrender everything that matters to your bullies.’
You have more power than you know. Your thoughts are the freest commodity you have. No matter what they take from you, they can never take your mind if you don’t let them.
“Power is not what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.” ~ Saul D. Alinsky (Rules for Radicals)
Think about that quote for a moment and realize that it’s what all bullies live by.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “Your Mind Is Yours and Yours Alone. Keep It That Way.”
Thank you so much Cherie for sharing this post. I understood many points you raised. Those are to be remembered. Bully can get into mind and alter the mind.
My bully did that but I am not broken 💔
I will remember your following lines ☺️:-
***That’s how you keep your confidence and self-esteem from tanking. It’s how you keep even a little bit of your dignity and it’s how you protect your spirit from being broken.
I’m so proud of you for refusing to let them break you, Arun. You show a strength that Sadly, I didn’t have when I was young. Your spirit shines through in your words. 💫💫💫
Absolutely love it!!💫❤️
Thank you so much! 💖💐🌺
Inhale confidence, exhale doubt is a wonderful mantra. Thank you. 🙂
You’re most welcome, Liz! Wishing you a fantastic day! 💖💐🌺🌞
Thanks Cherie… your writing is healing so many. A true gift. 💙
Thank you so much, Liz! 💖 I’m so glad to hear this! 😃
You have strength for all things in Christ Who empowers You. [You are ready for anything and equal to anything through Him Who infuses inner strength into You; You are self-sufficient in Christ“s sufficiency (Philippians 4:13) No Bully’s Words against you can overpower the Truth of God’s Words for You!! 💕💕
Thank you so much! 💖 You don’t know how much this means and how you just made my day with your kind words of encouragement! 😊🤗💐🌺🌻
Awww…I am so glad!! This is scripture from the Amplified Bible. God showed me how to switch the pronouns from- I to You- and to receive the truth of his Word for myself!! 💕💕It’s Life-changing!!
I’ll definitely look for the Amplified Bible! Thank you so much for letting me know about it. 💖💫
Thank you so much, Jim! 😊🤗 Hugs back! Wishing you a fantastic day! 🌞🌞🌞
thanks Cherie Cherie
Fantastic, Cherie. It’s always a pleasure to read a post like this for self-motivation.
Thank you so much! 💖 I’m so glad this post motivated you! 💐🌺
What a wonderful post to see when I am waking up this morning, thank you Cherie! So empowering, as it reminded me of the little piece of myself that refused to give in to the Bully, then and even now. Thank you for the motivation, always.
It’s my pleasure, Stella! Keep smiling and shining, sweetie! 💫💖💐🌺
I am not sure how it makes me feel, the more I read your blog posts the more I realize the deep degrees of bullying I was exposed to all my life
I’m beginning to realize that everyone has been exposed to the subtle forms of bullying and most don’t know it yet.
Exactly and until you know it you can’t treat it properly. So thank you for all you do!
You’re most welcome. 💖💕
Yes ~ thank you!
My pleasure. ❤️
There is so much truth in what you posted today. Thank you for sharing.
You’re most welcome, Molly! 💖💕
Cherie, I agree with this summation completely:
“Your thoughts are the freest commodity you have. No matter what they take from you, they can never take your mind if you don’t let them.”
Girlfriend, allowing them to take your mind is like selling your soul to the devil. Nope…we ain’t havin’ that! 🤨😜🤔
Oooh, girl! 😃😃😃 “Like selling your soul to the devil.” You couldn’t have said that any better! You sure dropped the mic with that statement! 🎤🎤🎤 Rock on, girl! 💃🎶🎸
Well Cherie Coco Pop, you laid the bread crumbs and I simply connected to your morsels of wisdom!!! You rock my girl!!! 🎙🎶🎤🎵🎷
Well, dahhh-ling! I will continue to drop more bread crumbs in the future! “And we begin to rock…steady…rockin to the break of dawn.” 💃💃🎶🎤🎸 Ya gotta love The Whispers!
Oh honey, don’t we know how to rock steady, rock steady baby??? Rock, rock…LOL 🤣😜😎
You’re very welcome. 🙂
Thank you so much, Michael. BTW, I’m finished with my conclusion and it’s waiting for you in an email I sent earlier today.
Oops! 😁😁😁 Never mind, I just saw your reply amd replied back.
I didn’t receive your reply to my reply, could you send it again please?
I sure can.
I sent it just now. Check your spam folder too.
“Yes, your confidence may take many blows, but it doesn’t have to die. Your self-esteem may be pummeled, but you can keep it for hitting rock bottom”. Wow.. well said.
I needed to hear this today. 💜
Thank you so much. 💖💐🌺 I’m so glad this came when you needed.
Quoting Saul D. Alinsky (Rules for Radicals) is an interesting choice. I don’t many people who have read him. Great post!😎
Thank you so much, Robert. 😊 I read him about four years ago and he pretty much described how bullies manipulate and cause fear.
You’re most welcome! 💖💐🌺
The last few lines sums up the article very well 😯. We need to love ourselves firstly and never let the bullies overtake our perception of what we truly are.
Thanks for sharing. Bullies are conduits for evil to poison the world. Some people being bullied, don’t have a way to take back their power in that moment. Karma, really, is the most frightening, yet powerful moments when bullies become targets themselves. She’s a mystery – Karma – but she waits patiently. 🙏🏼
You’re most welcome, Sandi. 💖 And you described bullies so perfectly! “Conduits for evil to poison the world” – absolutely! 💯🎯
Very nice post
Thank you so much! 😊
Powerful words ❤
Thank you so much! 💖
You are most welcome ☺
I have seen a few of my classmates get bullied in high school a lot. I couldn’t do nothing whilst when the bullying happens because there were generally a lot of people like a mob. As sad it is. I always used to talk with them and tried to comfort them afterwards when the crowd was not near. I am very grateful to say after almost 6 years. They are still my good friends and they have overcome the hardship they had to face. The strongest fellas I know.
I completely understand. I’m so proud of you for continuing to be there for them and remaining friends with them. That shows your strength of character and I’m happy to meet you, Sankha. I’m so happy that your friends overcame the bullying and are doing well. 😊 This is so wonderful to hear!
Such kind words. Really really appreciate every word you said. It means a lot. Thank you for all your hard work and sharing your work everyone. It’s so important. I will be reading rest of your work and I will also share with my friends as well. Thank you again 🙂
You’re most welcome! 😊 And I would love it for you to share with your friends! 😃
Thank you so much! 😊
Thank you so much for this eye opening post ❤
You’re most welcome! 😊
Thank you so much! 😊
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I already have, Adefemi. You have a wonderful blog and I’m following you.
You’re most welcome!
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We’d love to have you here. 😊
Very good points. I’m someone who has been bullied a lot and something I’m learning is you decide what you want to tolerate and it takes a lot of practice to be able to walk away and keep your peace
Thank you so much, Lindy! You’re absolutely right! It takes years of practice to be able to walk away! 💯💯💯
I never liked the mantra of “sticks and stones will break my bones but words can never hurt me”
Obviously written by someone who has never tried to heal the broken heart of a wounded child.
My biggest bully was my dad. He told me multiple times a day how stupid I was and how I would never amount to anything. As I got older it became more frequent, to multiple times a day.
When I had my son, I was CRYSTAL Clear with my expectations of him as a grandfather (after learning that he had used the word dumb towards my 6 yr old nephew).
At the Thanksgiving dinner table, with the entire family present, I said “Under no circumstances will you ever tell my children that they are dumb or stupid. Period. You only have one chance to screw that up and you will never ever see me or my children ever again, do you understand?”
I know the damage that those scars leave. Bones heal.
A wounded heart is so much harder to heal.
I can still occasionally hear his voice in my head and myself following his narrative, but I am able to stop and challenge it these days. Thank God for an amazing psychologist who has worked with me nearly weekly for over 19 years.
Thank you for your post Cherie.
You’re most welcome, dear! And I’m so sorry for what your dad put you through! 💔 But I’m so proud of you for standing up to your father, especially when it came to your son! 😊😊😊
I wish I could’ve seen your dad’s reaction after you set him straight! 😜
Thank you- That was awesome actually. I was looking him in the eye, and then I watched my mom give him her “so there” look, and he looked back and didn’t want to verbally respond, so I said I didn’t hear your response, do you understand? He grumbled and said “yes, I understand!”
It is one of my proudest moments of standing up for myself. I am a fierce Mama Lion when it comes to my kids.
I didn’t have those skills as a child. It hard to turn off negative programming, especially when it has been there for longer than my memory.
I had to completely stop each
time and consciously say, “That is a lie”, and replace it with a positive.
Thank you again so much for your post. You are awesome!!!
Have you ever had the experience of having a doctor be a bully? Just curious 🤔
Yes I have. And I had to find another doctor because this one wasn’t only a bully, he was a quack and had already been kicked out of a few hospitals. He basically lost his hospital privileges. I love the doctor I have now! He is compassionate and has such a great bedside manner. 💖🌺💐🌞
That is awesome. I have to have an entire team of doctors. But they all work well with each other.
A must for me.
I returned home from 6+ months of eating disorder treatment, away from my family, one of my hardest decisions. But eating disorders and type 1 diabetes do not work well together.
I am certain that had I not, that I would not be writing this to you.
Upon returning home I began investigating another attempt at finding someone who could do a double hip replacement surgery. I began working with a top rated medical school. I had several appointments with the fellow who worked with the surgeon and she was awesome.
After a couple months, my husband accompanied me to my 1st appointment.
The Top condition on my chart was long-term eating disorder followed by diabetes and victim of child abuse.
This guy was almost as round as he was tall. He was about 5′ 5″.
He waddled in like the penguin in Batman, my chart in hand, and said (without an introduction)
“The First you need to do is lose at least 40 pounds before I would even consider operating on you.”
( I was max 170 and I am 5’6″)
Instantly my FU thesaurus flew open and I thought of all the ways I could tell him to go F himself.
But didn’t. Instead I said
“So that file in your hand, did you read it, or are you you carrying it around so you can fan yourself with it.”
“If you had ‘thoroughly reviewed my medical’ as you claim- then you would have noticed that I recently returned from an intensive inpatient eating disorder facility after 6 1/2 months of living 5 states away from my children and my husband, a condition that I have dealt with since I was 8 years old (36 years).
You just contradicted every medical professional in my life for the past decade who pleaded with me to get help, without so much as an introduction. Even our insurance company was begging me to go and they just paid $3,000/day for me to go, where I paid my $150 copay.
And you just waddle in here and make a comment that would have in the past, sent me spiraling in the worst possible way.
You, Sir are a cold, inconsiderate Asshole and I would never let you operate on me.”
Then I stood up and headed for the door, while he sat there with that WTF just happened look and said
“I need to lose 40 pounds, dude, have YOU looked in the mirror recently, if that’s true then you have at least 60#”
One of the best way I dealt with a crappy doctor.
That’s awesome how you told that doctor off! I wish I could’ve seen that exchange! 😂🤣😂🤣
I was SO VERY proud of myself!!!
I don’t blame you! 🤗
Hi, I am new to this site, WordPress. I saw this post and I had to see, I hate and despise bullies. They are like so disrespectful and no respect.
Thank you so much for the comment and the follow! Know that you’re among friends here! I’m so glad to have you here. 💖💐🌺🌻
Thank you 😊
I love it
Thank you so much! 💖
Cherie, you have a way with words ! I agree & learned a lot from your insight.
This means a lot, Jenny! Thank you so much! 💖
Thought provoking post. Be well,
Thank you so much, Jorge! 🙂