The Bullying Survivor

The survivor of bullying who escapes the abuse first comes out with shock, anger, and sadness. But once the healing is underway, they’re filled with renewed hope.

When school or workplace bullying experiences have exposed you to the darkest sides of human nature, you have a stronger sense of your own endurance and capability. This is all because of what you have endured and were able to overcome.

You never know your own strength until you’ve overcome bullying, especially severe and chronic bullying.

Another takeaway is that the survivor has a stronger sense of people. She can smell fakery and BS from a mile away and can spot bullies before even talking to them. The survivor pays closer attention to how people carry themselves, body language, and the vibes and energy others put out.

survivors x-ray eyes

He is better able to avoid people who might want to harm him because he’s learned, the hard way, the importance of listening to his gut instinct and heeding it anytime something is even the slightest bit “off” about a person. In short, the survivor of bullying has learned that it’s okay, even paramount, that he trusts himself, and in that, his feelings and judgement.

On the other side of bullying, a survivor learns and develops the determination never to conform to the standards and criteria of others, but to live life on her terms because she knows what it’s like to be a slave to the approval of others. She knows what it’s like to be a prisoner to outside influences. She knows the powerlessness of having one’s pleasure depend of the permission of others. She knows what it’s like to be forced to apologize for simply being who she is and she’s not having any of it!

Overcoming past abuse gives the survivor a restored and refined sense of his worth and knowledge of the immense value he brings to this world. He awakens to his goodness and realizes that yes! He is worthy of love, friendship, affection, and of all the best things in life. He also realizes that he is loved and always was no matter what all those vile people told him!

The survivor of bullying ends up with a much clearer vision of what she will not tolerate nor settle for. She is unmovable in her refusal to kiss arse or bow down to anyone no matter what the cost may be. She’s spent enough years living on her knees and if she’s going to be punished for her unwillingness to kowtow, she’ll suffer those consequences standing up.

The survivor of bullying is also a fierce warrior for other victims. If he sees another person being bullied, he’s will stand up for that person and go toe to toe with the bullies to protect the target.

The survivor who has overcome bullying isn’t afraid to say no, nor to walk away from any relationship that doesn’t fulfill and nourish him. He refuses to be stuck in any environment that doesn’t allow him to grow and flourish.

The survivor is more aware than ever of what she deserves and goes after it with resilience and tenacity. Life’s given her enough of what she doesn’t want and now it’s time for her to go get what she knows is due her.

The survivor realizes, probably more than anyone, that life is short, and you only get one shot in this world. And she works diligently to create the life she knows she deserves, and she does it without guilt. She knows that she’s not entitled nor privileged. She realizes that the big bad world owes her nothing. And that’s okay.

The survivor realizes that there’s no such thing as a free ride because, heck, no one ever gave him anything but hell. What he understands more than anything as that all you have is you and the only person you can depend on is you. So, he knows that reaching his goals and dreams is up to him and him alone. And he works toward what he wants with a fervor.

The survivor of bullying makes it a point never to take anyone for granted but lets her family and friends know that she loves and values them. Why? Because she knows what is like to be alone, unwanted, and abused and she would never want anyone- especially the people she cares about feel that way or endure it.

The survivor of bullying savors every wonderful moment, every positive encounter, and every happy event because he has seen enough negativity.

What the survivor enjoys more than anything else is wonderful relationships and happy moments, and most of all, she’s grateful for them. She also enjoys helping others who go through what she once endured. And she uses her experiences to encourage them and give them hope.

Sometimes, you must be torn down to be built up again. Sometimes you must first be dejected and left lonely before you can truly appreciate the family and friendships you have later. And sometimes, it takes being forced into the chains of others’ approval and validation before you can enjoy the freedom of self-love and the indifference to the opinions of those who don’t matter and, perhaps, never should have mattered.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

0 thoughts on “The Bullying Survivor

  1. utahan15 says:

    overcome? nope i m angry. sir paul sang in . what the hell gives you the right? i m angry. look at you. and strangle hold. or bobby lamm s manipulation. good tight songs of resentments and frustrations . good day dear.

  2. Kym Gordon Moore says:

    Loved this: “The survivor of bullying is also a fierce warrior for other victims.” You know Cherie, when people have survived a situation, they know what if feels like to suffer such pain. 😔 I believe if we look at those who advocate for victims, they ‘know’ what the pain and humiliation feels like. When they found a way to survive the situation, it’s hard to stand back and do nothing when you see others suffering under the arrogance and abuse from bullies! Well said, my dear! 👏🏼🥰💪🏼

  3. Gail says:

    It took me years to learn this lesson, one that repeated itself over and over. People-pleasers tend to get bullied…..just because. Once I knew I could depend on myself and survive, doors were opened for me to live the best life ever. 🌟✨💫

    • cheriewhite says:

      This puts a smile on my face, Gail. Like you, it took years for me to learn too. And you’re so right that people-pleasers tend to get bullied. Bullies have a way of spotting a PP a mile away. I’m so proud that you finally began putting yourself first. It’s amazing the doors that independence opens for you and the freedom and peace of mind that comes with it. Thank you so much for your input. You don’t know how much I appreciate it. 💖💐🦋

    • cheriewhite says:

      I agree, Mike. You should always give people a chance but be observant. Feel them out first. Make small talk but listen to your gut, not your head. Because your gut doesn’t lie. Pay attention to the vibes people put out because you’ll feel those vibes. And pay attention to how they act toward others. Do they talk down to or look down on waitresses and janitors? It’s things like these that clue you into what kind of people you’re dealing with. Thank you so much for your thoughts. I so appreciate them. 😊

  4. Anonymous says:

    Hallo Cherie, I have big problems with the AI. 4 times I tried to send a comment to you without succeed. And know my Gravatar is away.

    Your article is Great. You are following THE TRUTH. 👍

    • cheriewhite says:

      Thank you so much. I’m so sorry you’re having difficulty getting through. I’ll see what I can do amd if need be, I’ll contact tech support. Again, thank you so much. This means a lot. 💖

  5. Karlheinz W. Gernholz says:

    The next try.

    There is now the third attempt to send you a message and my picture has become “anonymus”.

    That’s very kind of you and I appreciate your help, but I also know that our blogs are a lot of work and it would be dishonest of me to abuse you for something I can do myself.

    Don’t misunderstand dear Cherry, but you know what, I would like to know from you how it went with the bots.

    Just write me in the mailbox.Private or on a-bigger bang, or to linda, it doesn’t matter.

    Have a good time. Here is something too eat for You.🍒🍏 An apple on day keeps the Doktor away 😉

  6. tsepoimpactor says:

    One way or another everyone of us have been a victim and perpetrator of bullying whether aware or unaware however those who have been affected by bullying needs to get counseling because bullying has psychological effects. If you have been bullied or you currently experiencing bullying you need to ensure that you defeat and get stronger because if not then that will be a circle in your life…

  7. Harshi says:

    Wonderful post Cherie!

    I’ve been recommending Cobra Kai series as a teen watch which will can be enjoyed by parents and children alike. It’s based on the Karate kid movies ( story spans a shift in the timeline to 30yrs after.) They have covered the topic of bullying exceedingly well!

    Please watch it if you haven’t yet, since the topic is close to your heart.

    • cheriewhite says:

      My heart goes out to you. 💔 I feel your pain because I’ve been there. Know that therebare people out there who do care and that none of the bullying is your fault. You’re not responsible for their behavior.

  8. Shane says:

    “She know what it’s like to be alone, unwanted, and abused, and she would never want anyone- especially the people she cares about feel the way or endure it” you’re right, Cherie. Most of us who suffered enough pain, only want the others to be happy and at peace. We could never do such a thing that might wound them because we already have seen the worst. Your words are encouraging, Cherie!

  9. Nessa Rose says:

    Wow, this is so empowering to read. I still struggle with finding a perfect balance of being nice and having a backbone. I can be too naive and it leads to people hurting me and bullying me in my life. Thanks for this post.

  10. Pbounford says:

    Thank you for this encouraging article. Being bullied when I was young greatly affected my confidence and self esteem in a negative way. However, having more positive life experiences as an adult has improved my resilience, self compassion and forgiveness towards others. 🙏 🥰😁

    • cheriewhite says:

      You’re most welcome! And you touched on something huge here when you mentioned having more positive life experiences. I believe that balancing the negative experiences with more positive experiences is, by far, the most successful tool for overcoming bullying and healing from it. You just inspired me to create a future post on this subject.

      I’m so happy that your adult life was much better than your childhood and I wish you even more blessings and positive life experiences. 😊

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