‘Want to know about verbal bullying and the damage it can do? Here are all the details you need to know.
When bullies carry out a barrage of verbal attacks against you, they attack your character, mental stability, and abilities. Therefore, if you don’t maintain your sense of self and confidence, the bullies will eventually brainwash you and crush your spirit.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn about verbal bullying so that you can protect yourself from it and maintain your self-esteem.
Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to stand up against this form of bullying and keep your self-respect.
This post is all about verbal bullying so that you can defend yourself against it and stay confident.
Verbal Bullying
Verbal bullying can be done openly through bursts of rage, overt personal attacks, name-calling, and threats of physical violence. Open verbal bullying aims to strike fear in you.
It also seeks to make it clear to you that the bully is controlling you and that you’d better acquiesce, or the bully will hurt you. It also dares you to protest against it or defend yourself. In open bullying, bullies instill terror in bystanders as well by making you the example.
Examples of open verbal bullying
- “You’re such a moron!”
- “I’ll kick your butt if you say anything back to me!”
- “You’re completely hopeless! Can’t you do anything right?”
Bullies who use open verbal bullying are those who know they aren’t going to face accountability. They can also be those who don’t care about facing consequences. These are people who aren’t afraid to go to jail or those who don’t fear suspension or expulsion from school.
Also, many bullies also use subtle verbal bullying. These are people who fear consequences. They don’t want to get caught. Therefore, they will use a more nuanced form of verbal bullying because it is the least detectable.
Verbal Bullying:
Examples of subtle verbal bullying
Bullies use subtle bullying through tiny digs, zingers, offhand comments, and backhanded compliments. Subtle bullying aims to control and dominate you without you realizing it.
In being subtle, bullies may act like they’re sincerely and genuinely concerned about you. They may say,
- “I’m concerned about you. You need help because you’re always so defensive every time we tell you what you’re doing wrong.”
- “We’re telling you to help you.”
This type of verbal aggression aims to manipulate you. Again, in most cases, you don’t realize the bullies are using you. However, they will notice that you’re not as happy as before and that you don’t feel as good about yourself as you once did.
You will also sense that something is off.
Why Bullies Use Words to Attack You
They do it to discourage, disrespect, and devalue you. Also, they attack you with words to diminish your confidence and self-esteem.
You may consciously or unconsciously try to change their behavior and personality. You may do whatever it takes to avoid agitating the bullies and protect yourself from future bullying.
However, when you handle it this way, you only allow your bullies to brainwash you into suppressing your authenticity. You might even hide your good nature, talents, and gifts.
Understand that you’ll never know if people are bullying based on what outsiders see and tell you. When the bullying is subtle, it’s vague and almost unnoticeable.
Subtle bullying will go virtually undetectable, not only by you, but especially by others. Over time, bullies will slowly condition you to take the abuse.
Verbal Bullying can be Unpredictable.
This kind of bullying can emerge unexpectedly. You may think he’s doing quite well until suddenly, and out of the blue, bullies blindside you with another barrage of insults.
The sudden onslaught will stun you. It will throw you off-kilter. But that’s what the bullies’ sudden jabs are intended to do.
It won’t matter how intelligent and socially aware you are. With some bullies, you’ll never expect the next attack. Moreover, you’ll never know why they attacked you, nor how to keep them from attacking you again.
Verbal Abuse is designed to soften you up for physical abuse later.
They’ll say there’s nothing wrong, but their body language and the vibes they put out will tell you otherwise. Bullies may say that they don’t care what you say, do, or think. Yet they continuously watch you, eavesdropping on your conversations and invading your privacy.
What’s terrible about verbal bullying is that it always escalates. In the early stages of bullying, bullies disguise their insults and ridicule as jokes and fake concern.
Over time, they will turn it up and dish out their verbal abuse more openly. They do this deliberately to soften you up for worse abuse later.
Even worse, verbal abuse usually escalates to physical assaults and beatings. This is why it’s essential to recognize when someone is verbally abusing you and put a stop to it as soon as possible.
Ways to stand up to verbal bullying, even if it is subtle
If you’re not sure people are verbally bullying you, listen to what your body tells you. Pay attention to your senses and intuition.
If something said to you doesn’t feel right, call it out! I can’t express enough how important this is. Counter with these statements below.
- “I know what you’re trying to do, and I don’t like it! So, I’d suggest that you back off right now!”
- “Stop being foolish!”
- “I don’t want to hear that garbage!”
Or you can scoff or roll your eyes and tell them to shut up. Then walk away like you don’t have time to listen to their boring nonsense. Mockery can be effective in combating bullying.
If you do this in the early stages, chances are that you’ll stop them dead in their tracks. Then, they will go away and find another target.
Signs Verbal Bullying is about to get physical
Anytime bullies increase their name-calling and double their efforts to abuse you verbally, it only means they’re scared of losing control of you. They’re desperate to maintain their power over you. In other words, they see you as a threat to their perceived status and power.
Therefore, they feel they must double down on the abuse. What they don’t realize is that they only make themselves look desperate and pathetic.
Their blatant repetition and redundancy are so telling. Bystanders and witnesses to their deplorable behavior might not say the quiet part out loud. But trust me, they see it, and they think it.
And rest assured that those who take the bullies’ side already know who the good guy is. But they’ll never admit it because they’re too scared of becoming the next target.
Therefore, bullies will escalate their abuse if their bad behavior hasn’t been checked. Also, they’ll do it if they don’t get the reaction they want from you.
Bullies never stop pushing boundaries.
There are three signs that verbal abuse will turn physical. Moreover, you would be surprised at how quickly and easily a bully can change from letting their mouths do the talking to letting their fists speak for them.
Verbal Bullying:
here’s a scenario you’ll probably recognize
Bullies have been verbally abusing you for quite some time. You remember how they began with subtle digs and zingers. Next, you noticed that they progressed to openly screaming at you and cursing you out like a dog.
Now, they are making threats of violence against you. You begin to feel afraid for your physical safety. Why? Because you’re not sure when the bullying will become physical and what they’ll do to you when it does.
Understand that your bullies are still pushing your boundaries. Little by little, they up the ante to test you and figure out how you’ll react.
They want to see what you’ll let them get away with. So, they always start small. And they ever so gradually turn it up in teeny tiny increments.
So, how do you know when the verbal bullying you suffer is about to become physical?
1. they invade your personal space
When bullies invade your personal space, it’s a surefire sign that things are about to escalate physically. They get a little too close. They’ll follow close behind you as you’re walking down the hallway or street.
Also, they’ll stand too close to you in the lunch line or while you’re punching the time clock. They may even step in front of you and block your path.
Therefore, to prevent a possible physical attack, the time to act is now! You must tell them in no uncertain terms to back off. And if they don’t, it’s time to strike first.
Yes! You heard me correctly. I’m not beyond hauling off and punching someone in the nose if they get in my face and refuse to back off.
However, you may be in a place where punching a bully is suitable. You may be at work or in class.
In lieu of fighting, I recommend that you look the bully dead in the eye with the hardest glare you can muster. Then tell them in a low, growling voice to knock it off.
And keep glaring at them until they avert their eyes. Make sure you’re standing absolutely still and facing them in a power pose. (More on power poses later) The goal here is to instill fear in the bully.
2. Verbal Bullying:
they may touch your things and invade your territory
Bullies may sit at your desk, pick up your belongings, or lean on your car. Understand that, when they touch your belongings, your bullies are laying claim to what is yours.
This is the time to assert yourself firmly. Tell them to keep their slimy, grimy paws off your stuff! Messing with your belongings or destroying them is also considered to be physical bullying.
However, be forewarned that most bullies will see this as a challenge and dare you to take action. In this case, don’t be afraid to throw up your dukes.
It’s your stuff they’re messing with, and they’re doing it to see how far they can push you!
However, as I mentioned earlier, if you use fisticuffs, ensure the time, place, and conditions are appropriate. If not, follow the suggestion at the end of the last section.
3. they will begin “Accidentally” doing things to you.
This is called borderline physical bullying or borderline physical abuse.
Bullies will begin their physical assaults through“accidental” shoves and pushes. They may “accidentally” run into you in the hallway.
Also, they may “accidentally” trip you or knock you down in the stairway. Bullies may even “accidentally” knock things out of your hands.
They will say, “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to do that. And they’ll say it knowing damn well they did it deliberately. And you’ll know it too.
Moreover, your bullies will do it, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you won’t notice it’s escalating. After all, accidents happen all the time. No harm, no foul. Right?
The problem is that if bullies get away with these types of games, they’ll only escalate it until it gets out of control. And once bullying gets out of control, it’s almost impossible to stop or even slow down. Remember that they’re violating your personal space.
Again, it’s time to put up your dukes! Remember not to doubt yourself and what you know and feel. And you always know when something is done on purpose. You can sense these kinds of things.
Verbal BULLYING:
In Closing
It always starts subtly. Like any other form of abuse, bullying will only get worse if you don’t act. This bears repeating! It always- always gets worse if you let it slide. Because it’s a dark part of human nature to push, push, and push further to see how far one can go.
Again, tune into your body and intuition. Your gut will always tell you whether what the person did to you was really an accident.
If your senses tell you they did it intentionally, call it out. Tell them to stop immediately when it happens.
If that doesn’t work and the bully continues, it might be time to take a stand. Whatever you do, put a stop to it because it’ll only get worse if you don’t.
This post was all about verbal bullying so that you’ll recognize it when it starts and defend yourself in the early stages to keep the bullying from escalating.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Examples of Subtle Bullying: 6 Powerful Ways to Read Between the Lines
2. Examples of Non-Verbal Bullying
3. Non-Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language, Head to Toe
4. Hostile Body Language: 17 Signs Bullies Want to Get Physical
5. Threatening Body Language: 21 Hostile Cues to Never Ignore
6. Personal Space Boundaries: What to Do When Bullies Cross Them
