‘Want to know how to set your own standards and how to keep from conforming to a bully’s standards? Here’s all the information you need to know about.

A bully’s standards are unachievable. No matter what you do, who you are, or what you have; bullies will always move the goalposts. So, what do you do?

In this post, you will learn why it’s always best to set your own standards. Also, you’ll learn to never try to live up to a bully’s standards.

Once you learn all about these facts, you will no longer waste your time and energy tying to reach your bullies’ cookie-cutter versions of perfection. Instead you will be confident in your own way of life.

This post is all about the reasons you should set your own standards so that you will be yourself and be confident about refusing to follow anyone else’s lead.

Set Your Own Standards

Bullies change the rules just to find something else to use against you. Bullies will even weaponize your best qualities.

Therefore, you should always be yourself, no matter how difficult it may be. Don’t change for anyone. Realize that anytime you conform to someone else’s standards, you only lower your own.

Don’t change the way you dress, your interests, etc.

Bullies will often make fun of the way you dress- even if you dress fashionably. Understand that with bullies, it’s not about the way you dress.

Moreover, it’s not about your hair, makeup, your attire, hobbies, favorite music, your family, or anything they make fun of. No!

‘Want to know what it’s about?

Its about power and control.

It’s about having the power to make you feel bad about yourself.  Also, it’s about taking away your confidence, your pride, your happiness, your health, peace of mind, everything that matters.

Therefore, don’t give them that power.

Set Your Own Standards:

Don’t change your personality.

We all have quirks. Therefore, never change your personality. Continue to be yourself.

Realize that anything you change to appease a bully today will be ridiculed tomorrow. Again, bullies have a desire to control you to get that ego boost they’re seeking.

So, understand that they get their kicks from making you jump through hoops to win their approval. And you know what?

You don’t need their approval.

Just continue to be yourself and calmly blow the bullies off. Eventually, they’ll get bored and find another target.

Only you know what you like and don’t like. Only you can know what feels right to you and what’s best for you.

Therefore, don’t sell yourself short by living up to someone else’s expectations. They don’t know you the way you do. Realize that you’re a separate person from them.

Always remember that.

When Bullies Move the Goalposts

Understand that bullies will always judge you and they will do it by default. In other words, they’ll judge you without provocation.

You won’t need to do, wear, or say anything wrong because they will dissect everything until they find something wrong. Moreover, just your mere presence alone will invoke their judgements and attacks.

But know this. The negative suggestions and personal attacks they hurl are strictly to control you. That’s right. They insult you to control you.

Realize that bullies want to make you think, feel, and act the way they want you to. Nothing more. Also, those judgements, insults, and personal attacks come from a place of entitlement.

Therefore, you must realize that your bullies will not be happy with you. And they won’t accept you, no matter what you do.

Any efforts to win their approval will be like pouring water into a sieve.

Set Your Own Standards:

Remember! It’s all About Control!

How many attempts to satisfy these bullies are you willing to make before you become exhausted? How long are you willing to shapeshift and bend yourself into a pretzel?

What’s it going to take before you realize that conforming and adapting to their standards of who you should be will never yield the desired results?

You’ll only end up disheartened in the end. Why? Because, just as you can never fill a sieve, you can never appease a bully.

So, stop wasting your time and energy. And stop sacrificing your happiness because these people aren’t worth the powder to blow them up.

When you don’t stand up for yourself, others will only see you as an easy person and lose respect for you. The amount of crap you put up with only determines how others treat you in the future.

In other words, you teach people how to treat you by what you do or don’t put up with. And when you conform to the standards of others, you only discard your own standards.

Be Yourself in Every Way!

Isn’t it time you lived up to your own? Isn’t it time you begin living life on your own terms instead of someone else’s?

Your choices, your likes, your preferences, your pleasures, and your happiness should never depend on the permission of another.

Therefore, you must always be yourself. This means that you must have your own opinions, likes, dislikes, and preferences.

Also, you must do the things you love most, no matter what others think. Be yourself in every way!

Set Your Own Standards:

Whose Life Are You Living? Yours or Theirs?

Uh-oh! Here they go again! It seems that every time you as much as blink, someone else has got their honker in your business.

They’re always telling you how you ought to do things. Always dictating how you should act! These creeps even tell you how you should live your life!

These chumps! They have the chutzpah to think they can make your decisions for you. But, let’s face it, the world is full of nosy people.

If you are a target of bullying, you will have others trying to invade your life. Your personal business, and your boundaries are fair game.

And let me tell you, when it seems that no one will let you lead your own life in peace, life can go from enjoyable to unbearable real quick. This is why you must be assertive in cases like this.

Understand that you can’t please everyone and you shouldn’t even try to.

You don’t mind because they don’t matter.

Put simply, the only ones you must live your life for is God, your family, your closest and most trusted friends, and yourself.

Too many people care what the wrong people think of them. The wrong people! In other words, bullies, toxic people and those they don’t like!

Realize that you aren’t living their life, you’re living yours. Therefore, you must make decisions that best fit the situations and circumstances surrounding your life.

Set Your Own Standards:

You must do what’s best for you, not what’s best for them!

You must do what’s best for you, not what’s best for them, or, rather, what others want you to do. Half the time, they don’t even know what they want nor what’s best for them.

So, how can they claim to know what’s best for you if they haven’t a clue what’s best for their own lives?

You must do what makes you healthier, what makes you feel good, and what makes you whole. You must do what fulfills you, not other people. Don’t worry about them.

It’s up to them to make their lives easier and pleasant. It’s not your responsibility. Just the same, it’s up to you to make your life better, it’s not their place to do it.

There will always be others who want to insert their two cents where it isn’t needed.  And they’ll be downright abusive about it. They’ll attempt to order you around or deride you over your life-decisions.

You must open your mouth and tell these creeps where to shove it.

There will be those who will try to run your life and you should be prepared for it. But know that when they do this, they’re stepping out of their place. And you have every right to tell them to go kick rocks.

The old, popular 1990’s idiom, “All up in your koolaid and don’t know the flavor” wasn’t coined for nothing. And the sad thing is that most people don’t bother to lend a hand but they’re real quick to point a finger.

Understand that we each have responsibility over our own lives. Therefore, stop trying to spare the feelings of those who insist on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Tell these people to keep their snouts out of your business. Your life is yours to lead, no one else’s. So, stop worrying about what others think and say of you.

They may not like the way you live or think, but that’s their problem, not yours. Your life and the life-choices you make are no one’s business but yours.

So, tell them to kiss your ass and take your power back!

This post is all about why you should set your own standards instead of conforming to a bully’s so that you can take back your power and your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

2. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

3. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders