Tag: self-care

self-care

How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

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Would you like to know how to overcome low self-esteem so that you can feel good about yourself and take control of your life?

how to overcome low self-esteem

Low self-esteem can drag you down and hold you back from your full potential. Therefore, if you’re wondering how to overcome low self-esteem, then look no further. I’m about to show you easy and powerful ways to do so.

You will learn the best and easiest practices to do so. As a result, you will finally be a pro on how to overcome low self-esteem.

After you learn these simple and highly effective practices, your self-esteem will skyrocket! Your confidence will soar! And you will be ready to take life by the horns and master all your talents and abilities fearlessly.

This post is all about how to overcome low self-esteem so that you can feel so much better about yourself and have the confidence to go after your dreams and work on achieving those life-long goals!

Even better, you will have the courage to confidently stand up to bullies and haters that even attempt to try and bring you down.

How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem

Overcoming low self-esteem isn’t easy, especially if you have bullies and negative people attacking you from every corner. However, practicing thought habits and daily physical habits to raise your esteem is still so important.

Moreover, it may even feel weird at first. Doing something you’re not used to doing always does. But push through that feeling. Once you practice these new things long enough, they’ll come naturally.

And you’ll be surprised at just how much it will change your life!

Now, without further adieu, here are the ways on how to overcome low self-esteem.

1. Replace Negative Thoughts about Yourself with Those that are Positive

This means catching every negative thought that pops in your mind with a positive thought. However, it won’t be easy and may even feel weird at first, but you must stay on top of it.

Guard your mind and if you catch a negative thought, immediately replace that thought with a positive… without waiting. Also, do it repeatedly until it becomes like second nature.

You’ve heard the quote, “You are what you eat.” So, it goes with your thought processes. You are also what you think.

This is especially important for victims of bullying because they usually start off as confident and outgoing people.

However, after years of bullying and abuse, they become insecure, afraid, and withdrawn. Sometimes, they can turn against themselves.

Negative Thoughts Produce Negative Things!

For example, they began to think that they aren’t worthy of anything good in life. They stop believing in their own good qualities. They no longer think they’ll ever be loved, ever be accepted, or ever be successful and that nothing will ever go right for them.

And before long, things begin to happen that matches their thoughts and feelings. These poor people began to fall out with friends and family, they have back-to-back bad breaks. They finally develop feelings of self-loathing and end up alone, rejected, unsuccessful, and unlucky.

This is why you must realize that your thought patterns determine your outlook (attitude). Your outlook determines your decisions and behavior. Then, your decisions and behavior determine your outcomes.

Your outcomes determine your life and the events that happen in it. All this then re-enforces your outlook or attitude. This becomes a cycle and cycles always repeat themselves.

It’s the Pygmalion Effect at work.

Again, for your own sake, get into the habit of thinking positive. Moreover, put in the inner work to change your thought patterns for the better and you’ll be amazed at how it will completely change your life!

2. How to overcome Low self-esteem: Practice Self-Care

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential! It’s imperative!

Self-care is more than just treating yourself to a soothing soak in the tub, or changing your eating habits and starting an exercise regimen. Yes, all the things I just mentioned are a part of self-care.

However, it can also mean making some heartbreaking decisions, like going no contract with a toxic family member or breaking off a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend with narcissistic personality disorder.

Moreover, you may even be forced to break off a friendship with a jealous bestie.

Believe me, those things are the most difficult to do because we care deeply about these people. However, if they don’t care enough about you to stop abusing you, then, what choice do you have?

You must love and care enough about yourself to walk away from anyone who brings you down and causes you anguish. Life is too short to tolerate abuse. Know that you deserve better.

3. Surround Yourself with Positive and Uplifting People

Many times, your self-esteem levels have so much to do with the company you keep. In other words, if you spend most of your time around people who constantly berate you and bring you down, no wonder your self-esteem is shot to shit!

One thing that few of us think about is that we each are the sum of the types of people we spend the most time with. In other words, if the people you spend most of your time with are negative, then negative is what you become.

On the other hand, the opposite is true also. If you spend most of your time with people who are positive and uplifting, then you will feel and be the same.

So, if you’re the only positive person in the room, you’re in the wrong place! If you’re around people who drain you and make you feel bad, you must find a way to fix it without hanging around and trying to fix them.

You can only fix things by removing yourself from their company.

Know that you always know when you’re with the wrong people because you will immediately sense that something is off anytime you’re around such negative folks. You will feel exhausted just being around them because it will be as if they’re sucking the oxygen out of the room.

Also, you’ll feel yucky because they’re killing your good vibes. Therefore, you must get out of there… fast!

Don’t stifle your own peace, happiness, and, most of all, growth by continuing to hang around. Make it your goal to get away from these people and out of that environment!

4. How to overcome Low self-esteem: Make Positive Affirmations to Yourself

You would be surprised at how effective making  positive affirmations is when it comes to boosting your self-esteem. Therefore, when you make these affirmations, look at yourself in the mirror each morning and make these “I AM” statements.

Here are a few examples of affirmations and “I AM” statements:

I am not to blame for being bullied.

I am lovable.

You can even say,

I am a good person.

I am worthwhile.

There are hundreds of affirmations you can use. These are only a few.

Moreover, if you do this for long enough, you will begin to believe it with every fiber of your being and your life will change for the better.

5. Love and Accept Yourself

This means embracing your flaws as well as your perfections, allowing yourself to make mistakes, and having the courage to be yourself.

If you don’t love yourself, no one else will either. Moreover, you won’t be able to properly love anyone else. Therefore, you’ll be on an endless quest for love and acceptance from others.

Realize that your love only comes from within, not from without.

Completely love and accept yourself. For, it is a stepping stone to happiness. When you accept yourself as you are, quirks and all, and stop being so concerned about how others see you, you experience total freedom. It’s like a huge weight being lifted off of you.

Also, you become much more attractive to people. In fact, you will draw them to you like a magnet!

Moreover, the creeps who are waiting for you to mess up will only get bored, give up and stop watching you. I know this from experience. Self-love and acceptance is such sweet freedom!

6. Stop Caring What Other People Think

Remember. When you care too much about the opinions of others, you become their slave. Therefore, free yourself by not bending over backwards to please others and doing the things you want to do.

Gather the courage to be yourself and realize that there will be a few people who dislike you and yes, even hate you. Moreover, see this as a part of life and embrace it.

This is how you become a powerful force in your own life!

7. Focus On Your Life Goals and Dreams

When you begin working on yourself and focusing on your life goals and dreams, you will be too busy to dwell on the negative opinions of others. Also, you will more than likely succeed at attaining your goals.

This, in itself, is a lesson in how to overcome low self-esteem.

In other words, you must focus on what you want out of life and go after it with a fever and a fervor.

This post was all about how to overcome low self-esteem so that you can take back control of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

4. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

 

Click here to see Cherie’s Patreon

 

Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

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Do you want to know how to go about putting yourself first so that you can live a freer and more peaceful and purposeful life?

putting yourself first

Putting yourself first isn’t selfish, it’s a necessity, especially if you’re a victim or target of bullying.

Sadly, many people have been conditioned from childhood to believe that putting yourself first is self-centered and greedy. Therefore, they put others before them to such an extent that they end of tolerating use and abuse.

In this post, you will learn the importance of putting yourself first. Also, you will learn the best, most time-tested self-care practices and how to practice them free of shame.

After learning these things, you will more readily prioritize your own needs. Best of all, you won’t feel any quilt nor shame when it’s time to take care of you.

This post is all about the importance of putting yourself first to help you give yourself the same love you give others, and do it guilt-free.

Putting Yourself First

Before we get into the practices, let’s make this absolutely clear.

Putting others first isn’t a bad thing. It shows that you care about your fellow man and that you’re willing to contribute some good to the world. Therefore, it’s an outstanding character trait to have.

However, many people have been conditioned, often by well-meaning parents, that the polite thing to do is to put others ahead of themselves. That making sacrifices for others shows manners and that they are “good people.”

However, when you overdo that courtesy or you do it at your own expense, that’s when it becomes a bad thing. The problem is that people will come to expect you to be a yes-person and take their crap.

Then, sooner or later, you’ll begin attracting users and abusers and become a doormat.

In taking this advice, many of us found out the hard way that giving too much of ourselves sometimes involved overlooking abuse. Even worse, we found that it didn’t make the mistreatment go away but only encouraged the person to abuse us later.

Growing up, you hear every excuse imaginable:

“Oh, they’re just having a bad day.”

“Maybe they have an abusive or cheating spouse at home.”

“Oh, but you never know what that person is going through.” Blah-blah-b-blah.

A few adults in your family and a few teachers more than likely advise you to,

“Give them a break.”

“Cut so-and-so some slack.”

“Try to overlook him.”

“Oh, but try to put yourself in her shoes.”

“Be reasonable.”

I know how you must have felt. That probably got old very quickly and you eventually grew fed up and wanted to scream,“Um- EXCUSE ME! I’ve been ‘reasonable,’ and the only thing I ever got from it is taken advantage of! Would you be reasonable if this happened to you?!”

Therefore, no matter what anyone tells you, it’s okay to put yourself first. And no law or rule says you have to tolerate unacceptable behavior- from anyone! Ever!

Anytime people mistreat you, then someone advises or forces you to “be nice” or “understand what Joe Blow is going through,” it only means that, subconsciously, the givers of this advice either don’t care about your boundaries, or they’re afraid of making the offending person angrier, and of the situation escalating.

Some people just can’t handle conflict. They are only trying to silence you to appease the person who’s being a total jackass.

These kinds of advice and expectations can do one of either two things to you as you get older:

A. It can program you to be over tolerant of unacceptable and abusive behaviors and set you up for a life of getting bullied by other people.

In other words, you grow up being so afraid of pissing anyone off that you accept any abuse to avoid conflict. You end up living a life of being crapped on by others.

B. It can have the exact opposite effect and give you an “F-you” attitude and a bad case of The Don’t-Give-A-Craps.

Put another way, because others have forced you to accept bad behavior in the past, you become a mean, bitter, and apathetic adult and could care less about anyone. That’s not good either.

Maybe you’re like me, one of the lucky ones. It gives you an equal blend of both. You believe in treating others how you’d want them to treat you and don’t mind lending a helping hand to someone who needs it.

But if for one moment, you suspect that someone is taking your kindness for being a fool, you’ll drop that person like a bad habit and they’re on their own!

Here’s the point. It’s okay to be kind. It’s okay to put others before you, but only in particular circumstances.

Here Are a Few examples.

It’s perfectly fine to give an older adult your chair in a crowded doctor’s office.

It’s okay to get up and offer your seat to a combat soldier in a crowded airport.

In fact, it’s called having respect for elders and servicemen and women who fight for your country.

But never take abuse nor accept excuses for unacceptable behavior. Anytime someone crosses a line with you, go ahead. Respond in kind. Give it back to them because only then will the person realize that you aren’t a doormat and find someone else to abuse.

Realize that you are not selfish or being self-centered. It’s called self-preservation. And now for the habits you must get into to put yourself first.

Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Habits to Practice

1. Set Boundaries and Say No when you must.

You must have boundaries or you won’t have any respect.

Saying no to others automatically establishes boundaries. It also means saying yes to yourself.

By saying no, you give yourself the gift of choice and autonomy. Many people, especially bullies, will demand that you go along with something that isn’t good for you.

Therefore, saying no and putting up boundaries can be essential for your well being. Never say yes to anything that puts you in danger or makes you uncomfortable.

Trust your feelings, be true to yourself, and say “no,” no matter what the cost. This is putting yourself first.

2. Make Time for Yourself.

In other words, make time to rest, relax, be alone, and just chill. Also, make time to pursue your own interests. Work on your goals and put in the work to make your dreams come true. Dedicate 2-3 hours of your day for you-time. And know that you are worth it and you deserve it.

3. Putting yourself first means asking for Help.

Admit it. Sometimes you need a little help. We all do.

Realize that you’re human and you can’t conquer the world. Especially not by yourself. Therefore, it’s okay to ask for help when you need it.

If you need your husband to help you clean the kitchen because you’re not feeling well. Ask him. Or, if you need help with your algebra homework, it’s perfectly okay to ask your older brother to help you.

Besides, all they can do is say no. They aren’t going to shoot you for it. So, learn to take risks. That means asking for help when you need it.

4. Give yourself permission to make mistakes.

Making mistakes is a part of being human. However, it is also how we learn. So, try new things and don’t be afraid of not doing it right the first time. You learn more from mistakes than you do anything else.

5. Putting yourself first also means Doing what you know is right for you.

In other words, make your own decisions. You will have people, especially bullies and haters, who try to butt in and tell you what they think you should do. Don’t listen to their squawking.

Only you can do what’s best for you. Only you know what decisions to make in your life. Do what you feel is best for you.

You may or may not make the right decisions. However, if you make the wrong choices, learn from them. Only you can live your life. No one else can do it for you.

6. Never Concern yourself with other’s opinions.

Realize that most opinions you get from others, especially those from bullies, don’t (or shouldn’t) matter. When you worry about what other people think, you become a slave to them. In other words, they own your butt!

Everyone has an opinion. The only opinions you should be concerned with are those of God, yourself, and the people who love and care for you the most.

This is another lesson in putting yourself first. When you put first your opinions and those of people who love you, you automatically put yourself first.

7. Make time to Do the things you love to do the most.

If that’s travel, then make time for it. If you love playing music, make time for that. When you’re engaged in your hobbies and favorite things, you add meaning and happiness to your life.

There may be those who ridicule you over your hobbies. But realize that people who make fun of your favorite things to do have no hobbies of their own.

Therefore, continue to do the things that fulfill you. It makes life so much more enjoyable and meaningful.

This post was all about putting yourself first so that you can live your life freely and with purpose and meaning.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

male employee sucking up to boss

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

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Do you want to know the best ways to stop being a people pleaser? These steps are the best time-tested ways that you must know and practice.

how to stop being a people pleaser

Being a people pleaser can be downright overwhelming because you’re too busy trying to please others to take care of your own needs. If you’re like I was, you’re probably wondering how to stop being a people pleaser.

You are going to learn exactly how to stop being a people pleaser by learning the actions you should take to get there.

Once you learn about all these steps, you will finally free yourself from the impulse to people please, Also, you will be surprised at how much happier and freer you’ll be.

This post is all about how to stop being a people pleaser, so that you can finally take care of your own needs and live a freer and more peaceful and relaxing life.

How to Stop Being a People Pleaser

Before we get into the steps, let’s refresh ourselves a little. What is a people pleaser?

A people pleaser is someone who constantly puts others’ wants and needs before their own. But, why do some many feel the need to people please?

There are many reasons. However, the most common reason for people pleasing is to seek and win approval from others. Other reasons include:

1. To avoid conflict

2. Low self-esteem

3. Insecurity

4. The desire to be liked and win friends

5. The fear of retaliation.

For example, many targets of bullying become people-pleasers because they’ve been brainwashed into believing that if they dare to say no, they’ll be harmed. This is because, saying no has gotten them just that- hurt! Therefore, they’re deathly afraid to assert themselves and say anything bullies and their helpers don’t want to hear.

Don’t be a simp!

Realize that being a people pleaser rarely produces the desired outcome. In fact, in most cases, it only produces the exact opposite of what you want.

To put it in simpler terms, anytime you sacrifice your own needs to please others and score approval, people only lose respect for you. Understand that people know a people pleaser when they spot one.

If anything, they will only look down on you with a mixture of disgust, pity and hilarity. Moreover, you attract users and abusers. The term, “people pleaser” is just another word for “simp.”

There is nothing more pathetic than someone who simps for approval or to avoid conflict. Realize that conflict is a part of life and you must gather the courage to deal with it.

Think of the song, “Self-esteem” by The Offspring and if you haven’t heard it, hop onto YouTube and give it a listen.

Here’s how to stop being a people pleaser:

1. Set boundaries

Setting boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first. However, it is a must if you want to take back control of your life. However, people pleasers have no boundaries and other people quickly take notice of that, then take full advantage.

When you have no boundaries, others will have no respect.

Setting boundaries, on the other hand, shows that you have self-respect. It also shows that you’re not afraid to make your needs a priority even if it makes other people angry.

Why? Because you fully understand that the reason these people become angry with you is because they’re afraid that the benefits they’ve been getting at your expense are about to stop.

Stop giving too much of yourself to people who don’t appreciate you. Also, stop giving at your own expense.

You must realize that how you treat yourself shows in how you allow others to treat you. Therefore, know that you deserve better!

2. Another way to Stop being a people pleaser is to Stop apologizing

From the time we’re toddlers, our parents and older family members teach us to apologize when we do something wrong. Although this is a good thing, if we overdo it, it can backfire.

Sadly, if you’re a victim of bullying, you probably apologize way too much because others have bullied you for so long. Consequently, all your over-apologizing only gives others the green light to  blame you for virtually everything that goes wrong.

Therefore, you must stop apologizing for things that don’t need an apology. Realize that this overwhelming urge to apologize needlessly is only a knee-jerk reaction that comes from extreme fear.

Your incessant apologies are ways to appease others. Also, it’s a way to make them go away and leave you alone. So, you must address this fear and confront it head-on.

Understand that you don’t have to take accountability for things you had nothing to do with. There’s no need to apologize for anything that was beyond your control.

You must realize that over apologizing is a self-defeating habit. Moreover, regardless of what you might think, it won’t protect you from further abuse.

Even if, on the off chance, it does save you from retaliative abuse, it will eat away at your self-esteem.

Therefore, you must realize that not everything that happens is your burden to carry.

Anytime you make unnecessary apologies, you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault. And when you give bullies undeserved apologies, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior.

In the end, it only makes you a bigger target.

But when you refuse to apologize when you don’t need to, you show greater self-esteem and increased feelings of power. Moreover, you display more dignity and integrity. Therefore, you instantly become less a victim.

3. Say no, and say it often.

The word no yields more power than any other word in the English language. On the other hand, the word yes holds none whatsoever.

Therefore, you must say no and say it often. And yes. This means gathering the courage to say no to people who are used to hearing yes. In other words, you must say no to people who probably don’t take no for an answer.

Therefore, saying no is risky, don’t get me wrong. However, saying yes to bullies and unsavory people won’t necessarily keep them from harming you. It may hold them off for the time being but won’t keep the bullies away forever. They always come back for more later.

Realize that bullies never make good on their promises that they’ll “leave you alone if you’ll only” do xyz, and the harassment won’t stop. If anything, it will only get worse still!

So, say no anyway. You may indeed end up with a shiner and a fat lip. However, those wounds will heal. But the psychological injury of wishing you hadn’t let yourself down will last for years.

Realize that saying yes to some people, especially bullies, means saying no to yourself.

It’s better for others to hate you than for you to hate yourself because you caved into someone else’s unreasonable demands. Realize that no one can make your time and your needs a priority but you!

Remember. The goal here is to take back your personal power and saying no is the most effective way to do it.

4. Practice self-care

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential to your physical and mental well being. Nobody else will do it for you. Therefore, it’s up to you to take care of yourself, even if others disagree.

Understand that f you don’t begin looking out for number one, you’ll only continue playing second fiddle to others. Or worse, you might end up coming in last!

 The only one you should come second to is God! Especially around bullies and people who don’t value you.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you’re a parent raising children, or you have an ailing mother who depends on you, it’s only natural that you would put your family ahead of yourself- that’s a given. We all have an obligation to our families.

It’s also a given (or should be) that you always put God ahead of everyone else, including yourself. Again, that’s completely understandable, and more than that, it’s expected.

But when you’re in a toxic environment, around people who want to use and take you for granted, understand that you are top priority and to hell with them if they don’t like it.

Expect some, especially bullies and abusers, to tell you that putting yourself first is selfish or greedy. Because they will. They’ll say that taking care of yourself only means that you’re self-centered.

Bullies and abusers will tell you these lies to shame you into staying around and silently taking their abuse. However, don’t fall for that crap!

Continue to do you and the naysayers will eventually go away and find some other sucker to toy around with. That’s when you’ll know that you have taken back control of your life.

5. Make your needs a priority

This means that your needs come first, then you can take care of others if you must. Realize that constantly putting other’s needs before your own will only leave you feeling stressed, exhausted, miserable, and controlled!

How can you have time to pursue your own interests when people are constantly haranguing you for favors? When you make too much time for others, you’ll have no time left for yourself.

Therefore ,your own productivity goes down when you limit your own time for other people’s priorities.

Moreover, when you’re too available for others, your relationships suffer because people lose respect for you. Even worse, it will slowly erode your confidence and self-esteem.

 Realize that most people have their own self-interests in mind. I want you to understand that you are the only person responsible for meeting your needs. No one else can do that for you.

Charity always begins at home. You can’t take care of others if you don’t take care of yourself first.

Practice these five steps and you will no longer be a people pleaser. Instead, you will have control of your life and ensure your own peace of mind.

This post was all about how to stop being a people pleaser so that you can free yourself from others’ demands and take back your freedom and peace of mind.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

Meet Your Bullies Where They Are

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“What does this mean?” You may ask. It means that you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Put simpler, when a bully is in your face, they will go no holds barred and you can’t afford to be nice about it. There is no being polite. There is no way to handle a bully “nicely” because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage. Also, there is no being quiet because a bully will take your silence as being afraid.

In other words, never try to handle a bully politely. Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

Sometimes, nice and polite doesn’t work

Understand that once you’ve done everything to try and defuse the situation peacefully and the bully keeps coming back, it’s time to get down and dirty. Remember that you’re in a battle and when you’re in a battle, there’s no time to hold back and try to be the bigger person. Because when it reaches this level, that’s when things can get dangerous fast.

You must be willing to go off on the bully and think nothing of it. You have to call them out and you can’t do it being nice. Sometimes you need to get nasty. There are times you must get just as dirty as they do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. You’re in a situation where you could get hurt and you must protect yourself by any means necessary but legal. And self-defense is legal.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

This is not the time to be concerned with what people think

In school, I have classmates tell me, “You shouldn’t have cursed so-and-so out because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.” Really? However, it’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had me backed in a corner and was unloading on me and all of a sudden, I was the bad guy for using bad words.

Realize that when you’re forced to get just as nasty as a bully, there will be people who try to tell you the same thing. Instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with, “Funny, you never said a word during all the times they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say? Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

It’s about putting yourself before them

Tell them how you feel and what you think of them because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you. You have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. When some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they just might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

Therefore, meet the bully where they are.

What Bullies Want You to Believe & What You Should Believe

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Understand that bullies thrive on power and control. If they can’t control you, they’ll control how others view you. Also, they’ll use redundancy and repetition to make you believe their lies too. Here’s what they’re most likely to try and get you to think of yourself and what you should believe:

1.What bullies want you to believe

Apart from us, you can do nothing, you are nothing, and you never will be.

What you should believe

Apart from you, I’m better off. I can do anything I set my mind to do, I’m somebody, and later down the line, I’m going to be great and do great things.

2. What bullies want you to believe

You’ll never find happiness without our permission.

What you should believe

I don’t need your permission to be happy. I’m much happier without losers like you in my life.

3. What bullies want you to believe

Nobody will ever like or love you.

What you should believe

Maybe you never will, but I don’t mind because you don’t matter. There will be others who’ll love me for me. I’ll find my tribe.

4. What bullies want you to believe

You’re nothing without our approval.

What you should believe

I’m nothing with it because you are nothing. I don’t need your “approval” because it will never define me. Your opinion matters not because, for something to matter, you must first value it.

Therefore, always counter the statements, including the unspoken ones. You’ll be surprised at what it will do for your self-esteem and your spirit!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Reality Check: Not Everyone You Meet is Going to Like You

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Like is subjective.

Not everyone is going to like you. Some may even hate you. But remember this! It’s their problem, not yours.

No matter how good, talented, famous, great, or small you are or who you are, it’s estimated that 10-35% of the people you know will not like you.

But always stay true to yourself, your beliefs, and your convictions. Use your God-given talents to the best of your ability. Be the best you can be and you will be happy.

Realize that everyone- EVERYONE, has someone who doesn’t like them. And if you don’t have enemies, then you’re doing something wrong.

If those who are exceptional, like celebrities, politicians, and athletes have people who dislike them or hate them, it should be proof that there’s nothing wrong with you.

So, feel good about yourself. Embrace everything about yourself. Appreciate the people who love you. Let love in and let yourself shine!

Bullying- When Emotions Are High

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Bullies are known for being highly emotional when they don’t get their way. They scream, they curse, they act out and they don’t care who’s around to see it because they use fear and intimidation to keep people from speaking out against them. Or, if they’re sneaky, they may hold it in until they get to a place that’s private and with people they trust, then fly into a rage.

Yikes!

Just as hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, it can also be said that hell hath no fury like a bully disappointed.

Here are 3 safety measures you must carry out when your bully begins to rage at you. Things can get dangerous quickly when a bully becomes enraged.

1. Turn and walk away right then! You must get away from the raging bull(y) fast. Think, out of sight, out of mind.

2. Watch Your Back. The bully is postal. Even scarier, he’s outraged at you! So, you must cover your six until you’re either out of the environment or things have cooled off. Just don’t look like you’re watching your back.

3. Whatever you do, don’t mirror the bully. You’ll only look just as nuts as the bully. Also, the last thing you want to do is scream and curse back because things will likely become fisty, or worse, the bully might pull out a knife or gun.

4. No sarcasm or witticisms. This will prompt the bully to throw fists or pull a weapon faster than yelling and cursing back because, in your sarcasm and funny remarks, you’re making the bully look like a basket case and he knows it. Save the witticisms for when the bully is attacking in a calmer state.

Remember that bullies, especially narcissist bullies, have a sadistic nature and have absolutely no moral compass. Many bullies of the narcissistic variety become murderers. So, get away from the person, stay away, and make sure they aren’t stalking you.

No contact is the best way to stay safe.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Roots of Insecurity

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The words we hear from others can affect how we see ourselves, but they don’t have to if we don’t let them.

Targets of bullying are picked apart daily in every minute detail, and in every aspect of their existences. A bully may criticize something as minute as the way they write. Bullies may criticize a woman for sitting with her legs crossed or the way she applies her makeup. But I guarantee that it has nothing with the way the woman sits or puts on her cosmetics, it has everything to do with the bullies’ own insecurities that are buried within themselves.

In reality, the bullies may think the woman is awesome and their criticism could be taken as a compliment because the bullies know they can’t compete with her and certainly don’t deserve the time of day from her because they know they aren’t even on her level, so, they do whatever they can to tear her down and bring her to their level.

However, the criticism surely doesn’t feel like a compliment and can make you feel like crap, so, I’m very careful when I use my words here. Insecure bullies and abusers will say terrible things to us and they can stick with us if we’re not careful.

“You’re ugly!”

“You’re fat!”

“Your clothes look like hand-me-downs!”

“Your hair looks too straight!”

“Your nose is too long!”

“Your ears are too big!”

“Nobody likes you!”

“You don’t have any friends!”

This doesn’t mean what they say is true, but so many times, we let the words of bullies get into our heads. When bullies assault us with hurtful words, targets often sit and wonder:

“Why don’t they like me?”

“Why am I not good enough?”

“Am I too fat?”

“Am I too short?”

“Am I too weird?”

“Is it my makeup, my hairdo, or my clothes?”

And they do it regardless of whether what was said to them is true.

Understand that our insecurities will scream at us from time to time but if we chose to listen to those pesky little voices, which are most often only voices from past abusers, it only serves to damage our self-confidence and self-esteem. Granted, there will be times when you will question yourself and this is perfectly normal. But when you make it a habit, then it becomes a problem.

There will also always be someone prettier, better looking, smarter, or financially better off. That’s just life. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have anything going for you because you do but again, there will always be someone with more.

Therefore, never compare yourself to another person because you do yourself more harm than good. Realize that each one of us is blessed with great qualities, although some may not know what they are.

Insecurity is a tricky animal because it has a way of hiding in obscurity. Sometimes, we don’t even know we have it. Bullies are such people. Most bullies are bogged down with insecurities, which is why they always point out the shortcomings of others in attempts to hide their own and the self-esteem fix they get from it is only short lived. Then bullies will only come back for more.

Another reason why insecurity is so tricky is because the insecure person not only doesn’t realize it exists, but they also don’t know when they became insecure nor what caused the insecurity.

We aren’t born with insecurities. They are given to us by other people, those who unfairly criticized you during your early years. Maybe someone called you stupid, or ugly. Maybe someone told you that you didn’t look good enough or, weren’t smart enough to pass that class.

Maybe you had an abusive parent or family member who told you that you would never amount to anything. Maybe your dad left and never cared to spend any time with you. It could be that you had an older sibling who bullied you. Maybe your classmates repeatedly told you that you weren’t good enough and never would be. Maybe others trivialized your successes and told you that they didn’t matter. They stem from many different factors.

Nevertheless, there had to be that first person who berated you- that person who planted that seed of insecurity and they repeated the same behavior and nurtured that seed so that it would grow. Maybe others helped to grow that seed and it’s only festered inside of you. And that seed has negatively affected your relationships with others and continues to do so today.

But understand that we all have flaws and the best way to get comfortable with them is to own them and accept that you have them. You might as well get comfortable with your flaws if they’re things you can’t do anything about. Also, once you embrace your flaws, no one can hold them against you any longer. By accepting and embracing your flaws, you take back your personal power and squash any power that bullies ever had over you because the insecurity ceases to be.

Many bullies have also been victims of others. This is the reason they try to break your confidence, only bullies refuse to have that discussion because it would only cast them as being vulnerable. Also, bullies never took the time to acknowledge and heal their own hurts and insecurities.

Therefore, bullies will tear you down with their actions and words because they feel either inferior to or threatened by you.

Once and for all, I want you to understand that there will be that partner who tells you that you dress like a floozy even though you dressed the same when your partner met you and you actually dress rather conservatively. There will be classmates who criticize your laugh or your smile. There will be people who flat out tell you to shut up when you speak even if the words you speak make sense.

The criticisms that hurt us the most and have the potential to destroy us come from spouses, family, and friends- people we love and trust the most. It is those remarks that can do the most damage because these are the people who are supposed to love us, take care of us, and protect us. And we believe they do. We believe they only want what’s best for us so we attempt to modify and change who we are to satisfy them and gain their love and approval. And the more they berate us, the more we shape-shift, trying to attain that allusive approval, until we twist ourselves into a pretzel!

It amazes me how many broken children there are out there who don’t yet understand that there was never anything wrong with them. These children become bullies and grow up to be angry and bitter adults who will only spread their toxicity to others.

It’s much easier to make others feel small than to deal with what others have done to us. I was broken for a lot of years, brainwashed into thinking I wasn’t worthy of being treated well. I always thought I was vermin compared to others because that’s what I’d been told repeatedly by others.

It took me a 2 ½ decades to realize that there was nothing wrong with me and that none of the bullying, abuse, and torment people subjected me to was ever my fault. I was not defected, and I was never a bad person. In fact, I now realize that I’m an awesome person and if people who don’t know me choose to judge me and have issues with me, it’s their problem not mine.

And I hope and pray they get their mental stuff together before it’s too late because it takes someone who lives a miserable existence to go through life making other people feel like dog shit to feel superior.

Insecurity is a seed that plants itself deeply, which is why it can be difficult to deal with. But in order to heal, you must cut out the roots of it too.

And if you don’t take the time needed to deal with and heal it, you will continue to carry the insecurities that someone else gave you and they will affect the way you handle people and your future relationships- every one of them, whether they’re romantic, friendships, or family.

Realize that the insecurities you have were caused by other people who wanted to look and feel better and more powerful than you. They saw a good quality in you that threatened to overshadow them somehow. So, they went on a mission to tear you down to keep you from stealing their spotlight.

Always remember that the bullying and abuse was never about you, it was about them. It was about their fear of you overshadowing them. It was about their being afraid that you’d reach success and leave them in the dust. It was about something they saw in you that threatened their fragile egos.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

6 Types of People You Should Avoid to Keep from Being Targeted

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One of the first steps in protecting yourself from bullying is to know what types of people you should avoid. And understand that trusting your feelings is also important as some people are experts at hiding their true intentions and some things just aren’t so obvious.

It’s a good thing that we all have a sixth sense and are able to sense the vibes and energy others put out. That can also work in our favor.

Here are the types of bad eggs to be aware of and avoid at all costs:

1. The gossip – this person is a walking tabloid. You’ll see and hear her talking trash about different people and you’ll notice she does it all the time. Many gossips will even talk about people they don’t know but have only heard about. They always seem to know everything about everyone- everything, short of their bathroom habits.

Know this! If they talk about others, they will talk about you too. Ditch these people…fast!

A closeup of a young beagle pup who is being nosey and doing some investigating. Shallow depth of field.

2. The big–nose – this person is virulently nosy and should be considered a twin sister to the gossip because most gossips tend to consistently have their face in everyone’s business. You will often find them asking others personal questions, eavesdropping on conversations, eyeing people intensely, butting in, and inserting their cheap two-cents where it doesn’t belong. Avoid these people at all costs!

 3. The two-face – An even closer sister of the gossip. These people pretend to be your friend but stab you in the back. The sad thing is that you’re usually the last to know. Again, if they’ll talk about somebody else…

Be careful what you share, not only with these people, but with anyone. Don’t share anything you wouldn’t want anyone to know.

Two words of advice. Steer clear!

4. The drama queen/king – This bad egg is a chronic complainer who always seems to have a problem for every solution. They are never happy and impossible to please. Moreover, this person also seems to have unending misfortune- bad break after bad break, back-to-back. Sure, we all have times when we must vent, and we all have bad luck at times. Perfectly normal. But when it’s constant, you have to wonder if the person is unknowingly bringing much of it on themselves somehow.

These people complain about everything and everybody. And they will complain about you too eventually. Bad moods have a way of spreading fast. So, if the person consistently dogs your mood, it’s best not to have anything to do with them. No one wants to be around a sad-sack nosebleed who whines constantly because, being around them can quickly become a drag.

Closeup portrait unhappy woman giving loser sign on forehead, looking at you with anger and hatred on face isolated on gray background.

More importantly, drama queens and kings also tend to be suspicious of people. They’re the type who think everyone is out to get them or everyone has ulterior motives. And if they think everyone is out to get them, they’ll think you’re out to get them too and they will get you before you get them.

Again, steer clear!

5. The passive-aggressive person – this person is sneaky and should be avoided as well because if they even think you’ve slighted them somehow, they’ll unless a rash of covert attacks- attacks you won’t even see coming until it’s too late. Also, if they have an agenda and you just happen to be standing in their way, look out! They will make your life a living hell. This person is to be avoided at all costs!

6. Anyone who puts out bad vibes. When we’re around some people we can sense that something is off about them, or we pick up on the vibes and energies they put out that doesn’t feel good or doesn’t feel quite right. Always listen to your gut feeling because vibrations don’t lie.

When it comes to bullying, many people, including me, have found out the hard way that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Save yourself years of trial and error and the heartache that goes with it. Get rid of these people…pronto!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

5 Ways to Lift Your Spirits

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We all have days when we feel down in the dumps. Fortunately, there are things you can do to remedy your situation and chase those doldrums away!

1. Listen to good music – There’s nothing that cures your ills like boogying down to some good dance music or rocking out to the sounds of your favorite rock bands. There something about music that makes us come alive and want to get up and move! So, put on some good tunes and shake your butt!

 2. Go for a walk – Going on a good nature walk on a beautiful Spring day lifts the spirits and feels so good. Walking is also one of the best exercises there is, so, there are physical health benefits to it as well.

 3. Indulge in your hobbies – working on and completing your hobbies brings out your creative side and gives you the feeling of success and accomplishment. It gives you pride in yourself and in your abilities. And who doesn’t love that?

 4. Surround yourself with your favorite people – Being around the people you love, who love you, and who lift you up feeds your soul like nothing else. When you get together with your loved ones, you know you belong, and you get that much needed sense of belonging and togetherness.

 5. Fix yourself up – As the old saying goes, when you look good, you feel good. When you take pride in your appearance, it shows. Looking your best has a way of building your confidence and your self-esteem. And it also has a way of spreading to others.

The good thing as that you have options. Do any one of these things and watch your mood skyrocket in just minutes. You’ll be glad you did. I promise!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies May Turn Others Against You but Never Allow Them to Turn You Against You!

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No matter what other people may think of you, you are the only one who knows who you truly are. Bullies are known for spinning smear campaigns and witch hunts to turn others against a target because it’s the only way they can make their lies and accusations seem valid. However, no matter how convincing the bullies may be and how many people believe the lies and rumors spread about you, it doesn’t mean the talk is true.

Only you can judge who you really are, nobody else can. I know it’s difficult not to question yourself when it seems that others hate you. Anyone who finds themselves in this situation would ask themselves, “What did I do?” or “What did I say?” It’s only a natural human reaction to being ostracized. It’s difficult not to blame yourself.

But please, for your own self-esteem, do not blame yourself. Remember that the problem lies with the bullies, not with you. You are not responsible for what is happening to you. Believe it!

Although others may turn against you, just make sure that you do not turn against you! Remember that reputation doesn’t equal character!

Continue to love yourself. Continue to take care of yourself and be true to your own heart! Continue to do the things that give you pleasure and surround yourself with those who do love you and want the best for you. Because during this time, you must ‘baby’ your self-esteem and your confidence!

Bullies may turn everyone else against, you! Just don’t allow them to turn you against yourself because you have no reason to hate yourself. So, love yourself even when it seems that others hate you. I promise you that your self-esteem will thank you for it! You will thank yourself for it!

With knowledge comes power!

4 Reasons You Shouldn’t Change to Appease Bullies

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Bullies are notorious for demanding that their targets change- that targets change something about themselves that they (the bullies) don’t like. We know that bullies point out anything they don’t like about targets to divert the attention of everyone else away from their own shortcomings and imperfections.

You should always be yourself and never allow bullies to change you. Here are the reasons why:

1. If the bullies can’t find something wrong with you, they’ll invent something wrong with you. If you want to better yourself- get an education, lose weight, get a better job, better home, etc., that’s completely normal because you’re doing those things for yourself. You’re making sensible changes and not to please anyone else.

But if you’re content with your life and some idiot demands you change something about yourself that they don’t like- something that’s not harming anyone, then you have a right to tell that person to go take a long walk off a short pier. Who are they to tell you that you should change?

2. Trying to be someone you aren’t to please others requires too much effort. Why would you want to expend so much work to fake your way through life? You’ll be watching every word that comes out of your mouth and every step you make, which means, you’ll be in a constant state of high alert because you’ll always worry what others think of you. Even if you do get accepted by others by being fake, it won’t make you happy. This is no way to live!

3. There will always be those who don’t like you no matter what you do. Therefore, all that extended effort, just to be liked, is all for naught. You’ll be jumping through hoops for other people. You’ll be shape-shifting yourself into a pretzel and in most cases, it doesn’t make people like you any better. What it does is cause you to live a life of undue stress and anxiety. Is that how you want to live? I hope not.

4. Genuine people and those who matter will only lose respect for you. Let’s be real here. No one likes nor respects a person who is fake. You won’t be taken seriously and, in most cases, you’ll only be bullied worse for your willingness to bend over backwards to gain acceptance. In other words, you’ll only get the opposite outcomes to what you hope for. How disappointing!

Sadly, I see people living in fear- being careful not to say the words, “mother,” “father,” “man,” “woman,” “he” or “she.” And I can only shake my head is dismay and embarrassment.

I write this because we live in a world that is trying to change us and what it wants to change us into is utterly ridiculous. No, wait! Ridiculous isn’t the word for it. Insane is a more appropriate word.

For example, bullies aren’t the only people who will try to change you. The media and other puppet masters also want us to change- even change the way we speak. They want to eliminate the words, “mother,” “father,” “sister,” “brother,” any word that identifies genders of family relatives. It’s crazy!

If they want to use different terms, then fine. To each their own. But how dare they demand that the rest of us change for them?

Who do they think they are?

Since when do they decide how we speak, what we believe, and how we behave?

Who died and made them lords over the rest of us?

And who are they to decide what’s right and what’s wrong?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell these radicals that they do not get to decide how I nor anyone else speaks, behaves, or lives.

Understand that they are bullies themselves and are well-known for pushing boundaries and intruding on others. They have to be bullies to burn down people’s homes, businesses, and entire cities to make a point. They must be bullies to assault little old couples or children on the street.

And they’re so arrogant that they feel entitled to tell the rest of us what words we should say to identify members of our families. Again, who do they think they are? This is a blatant attempt at power and control.

And the media and universities have now become a brand of police- also telling us how we should speak, act, and think. Here’s my take on it- I think this gender inclusion crap is a bunch of hogwash. God help them if they were ever told how to live!

These people suggest that the word “mother” be replaced with “gestational parent” or “birthing parent,” and the word “father” be replaced with “non-gestational parent,” or “non-birthing parent.” What???

As I said, I, as well as most others, could care less how other people live. Whatever floats their boat, I always say. You do what makes you happy and allow me to do what makes me happy. In short, you do you and let me do me.

And that’s the message I have for the radicals out there: I don’t stick my nose into your business, so kindly keep your nose out of mine. Go away and leave the rest of us alone. Get a life. Get a job. Get a family. Get a dog! And get a life!

Because, at the end of the day, we’re all just people. And all most people want is to freely practice their faith, raise their families, make a living, and be left alone. Nothing more.

Sadly, bullies don’t know how to leave people alone because they’re determined to violate boundaries. Bullies are all about power and control. They’re all about domination over others. That’s why it’s up to us to stand strong and refuse to change for them. It’s up to us to live our lives the way we want and to live life on our terms. Understand that bullies only have the power we allow them to have.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Flowers Can’t Grow and Bloom Without Sunlight

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Self-doubt is the killer of dreams. It comes when a person is consistently showered with toxicity and toxicity comes from toxic people- bullies and abusers. When all a person gets is insults and abuse for a long period of time, they become exhausted and any positivity they once had is slowly drained from them until they’re totally depleted of it.

Eventually, if targets aren’t careful, they’ll start to believe their abusers. They start seeing themselves through the eyes of their bullies. They’ll give up and others will see in them, a person who’s lackluster and slow.

When you’re a target of bullying, you’re like a flower that gets nothing but constant rain. The flower doesn’t grow and develop properly. The consistent abuse zaps your energy and keeps you hyper-vigilant and on guard 24/7- waiting for the other shoe to drop.

What happens is you lose your happiness, confidence, pride, will, and purpose in life. In essence, your bullies take away your good qualities and turn you into a person you don’t even recognize anymore.

Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Humanbeing with broken Brain and Heavy Rain

Bullying and abuse takes the joy out of your life and you begin to daydream about escaping your current situation. If there is no escape route available, you feel stuck. Then, you isolate yourself and become a recluse. You retreat into your own little fantasy world because it just feels safer that way.

Finally, you stop growing as a person because you live inside your head instead of observing life that’s going on around you and learning the lessons life is trying to teach you. All the while, the bullying and abuse you suffer only gets worse because everyone around you knows that you’re living inside your head and they ridicule you for it.

And people who do not know what you are going through or don’t understand you may mistake you for being lazy, slow, or stupid. But it only causes you to retreat further inside yourself and the bullying only gets worse. It is a vicious cycle, and it is no way to live!

Not only do I understand how you feel inside, I understand why. Just as flowers can’t grow without sunlight, people can’t grow without positivity. Flowers need a good balance of rain and sunlight and people need a good balance of positivity and negativity. They cannot survive on just negativity nor positivity.

Too much negativity or, in this case, toxicity, and the person’s emotional and psychological growth will be stunted. Then, their happiness, confidence, and dreams will die, and they’ll give up. Too much positivity, and they lose touch with the real world and real people, then become arrogant, full of themselves, demanding, and tyrannical! There has to be a healthy balance of both before a person can truly grow.

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, never accept what bullies and abusers try to cram down your throat. I want you to realize that they don’t know you at all, although they may claim they know you more than you know yourself. The truth is, nobody can possibly know you like that and anyone who tells you otherwise is lying through their teeth.

Understand that bullies and abusers are miserable people who want you to be as miserable as they are. Stay away from those people. They aren’t worth your time or energy. Only keep company with people who love you and who uplift you!

Remember that there’s always hope and you’re worth much more than what your bullies say you are and more than you may think you are. Never let bullies destroy the things inside you that matter the most- your self-love, self-respect, confidence, and sense of pride. Those things are yours and not for anyone else to have!

And how you do this is through self-care. If at all possible, remove yourself from the bullying environment and go to a new place where you can grow and flourish, and where you can make friends and be no only accepted, but celebrated!

Be your own best friend. Be your own hero. Be your own sunlight! Keep company with people who allow you to shine and the sun to shine on you!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

When Fighting Is The Only Alternative You Have

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Many times throughout my life, I’ve heard people preach against fighting- and yes, even in self-defense. When I was being bullied- even physically so, I was often told by teachers and even the bullies themselves, “Violence doesn’t solve anything.”  Or, my personal favorite, “fighting isn’t lady-like.”

I’ve got news for these people- neither is getting your face beat in every day.

Be that as it may, fighting back was better than just standing there and taking the beatings. When you’re a target of bullying and you decide to stand up for yourself, there will be people who will climb up on their soapbox and insert their two cents where it doesn’t belong, telling you that “violence doesn’t solve anything,” and that “you shouldn’t stoop to their (the bullies’) level.”

You’ve heard the term, “All up in your Kool-Aid, and don’t know the flavor.” Yep! That’s where they’ll will be when you get enough of bullying and decide once and for all to take care of business.

However, what else do you do if you’re a kid at school getting their brains beat out every other day? Just stand there and allow yourself to be harmed over and over again?

All the time, targets get suspended or expelled from school when they finally defend themselves against a bully. After six months, eight months, two years, or even five years of being mercilessly bullied and trying to handle it through nonviolent means, only to be called a wuss and beat up more, the target finally gets fed up and beats the living crap out of a bully.

Now everyone’s surprised and outraged! Not at the bully, but at the target! But where was their outrage when the target was getting their body pummeled without provocation? Where was their outrage when the shoe was on the other foot? Where was their humanity when the target cried out for help?

If you’re in school and you’re a target of bully. These questions are those you should ask the school authorities, bystanders, and anyone who gets offended by your defending yourself. Know that you’re just as good as the next person. Know that you have the same rights as anyone else- including your bullies. And know that you have the right to defend yourself anytime you’re threatened with physical harm.

Understand that this is a part of self-care. It’s true that fighting isn’t always the answer but sometimes, bullies will leave you no other choice.

So, if you’ve tried everything else, know that you must do what you must to keep yourself safe. And if it means putting up your dukes and getting froggy, so be it.

It’s sad when a target must fight all the time to keep themselves from being harmed but I don’t hold it against anyone who fights back under those circumstances because you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

3 Reasons You Should Never Hate Yourself

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In today’s backwards culture, we are continuously encouraged to hate ourselves, especially if we fall under certain criteria. You know what I’m talking about.

Also, we’re being brainwashed into believing that if we hate ourselves because of some kind of “privilege,” or because we’re Americans, or Westerners, or middle class, or because we own a business, because we’re successful-or whatever, then it shows that we’re morally good. Know that it’s only virtue signaling at its finest, and it’s all a bunch of hogwash!

You should never apologize for who you are, nor should you feel guilty about any successes or qualities that you have.

Here’s why you shouldn’t hate yourself no matter what anyone, including your bullies, the media, and certain politicians tell you:

1. If they can get you to hate yourself, then they can make you self-destruct. Understand that if you hate yourself, it isn’t to your own benefit, it’s only to theirs (bullies, media, politicians, the elite, etc.) Also, if they can get you to hate yourself, they can talk you into doing the most degrading and demeaning things- like bow down and kneel before other people, when the only person you should bow to is The Lord, Almighty.

2. Anyone who can get you to hate yourself can make you feel guilty for things that you had nothing to do with and that aren’t your fault. They can get you to subjugate yourself, and make you feel that you must “atone” for that (false) guilt.

Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Humanbeing with broken Brain and Heavy Rain

3. Understand that people who hate themselves are easily led because they are yes-people who are too eager to please. They try so hard to show the rest of the world, they’re morally good- that they’re above certain things. These people will jump through hoops to prove they’re decent people.

But folks, if you already know yourself and know without a doubt that you’re a good, moral, and decent person, why then would you feel you must bend over backwards and make such a concerted effort to prove that?

You wouldn’t. Because, if you know yourself, you know that the goodness, morals, and decency are already there whether others know it or not. Your conscience is clear, and you know that you’ve done nothing wrong. Therefore, you instinctively know that anything the media, politicians, or anyone on the street might put out does not apply to you.

Anyone who virtue signals- who has to work so hard and put on a show to prove something to others can’t have a clear conscience- so they must pander, virtue signal, and really strain themselves not only to prove to the rest of the world that they’re on top of the moral mountain, but to ease their guilty conscience.

On the other hand, if your conscience is clear and you know that none of the narratives apply to you, you wouldn’t waste your time and energy trying to prove it.

You know where I’m going with this.

No matter where you come from,  it’s best to love yourself just the way God made you and turn a deaf ear to the lies of The Enemy!

With knowledge comes empowerment!