Tag: self-care

self-care

having the courage to be disliked reddit

Having the Courage to be Disliked: 7 Reasons to be Okay with It

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‘Want to know the importance of having the courage to be disliked? Here’s why it’s important and why it’s a part of standing up for what’s right and for your rights.

having the courage to be disliked

Many victims of bullying lose lots of friends because of the bullying they suffer. Many of them begin bending themselves into a pretzel just to get people to like them. This only further alienates them from others.

Therefore, in this post you will learn why having the courage to be disliked is the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be okay with it when people dislike you. Moreover, you will be more choosy of the people you allow into your life.

This post is all about the courage to be disliked so that you can feel better about yourself even when a few others don’t like you.

Having the courage to be disliked

Being disliked is not the end of the world. Life is not a popularity contest and there will be those who just don’t like you. And that’s okay.

Here are all the reasons you should be okay with people not liking you.

1. Like is Subjective. Not Everyone You Meet is Going to Like You

Not everyone is going to like you. Some may even hate you. But remember this! It’s their problem, not yours.

And this goes no matter who you are. Even famous people have others who dislike them. Therefore, it doesn’t matter how talented or famous you are. An estimated 10-35% of the people you know will not like you.

Nevertheless, you must always stay true to yourself. Stay true to your beliefs, and convictions. Moreover, continue to use your God-given talents to the best of your ability. Be the best you can be.

 And know that if you don’t have enemies, then you’re doing something wrong.

Again, celebrities, politicians, and athletes have people who dislike them. This alone should be proof that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.

So, feel good about yourself. Embrace all your flaws. Appreciate the people who love you. Let love in and let yourself shine!

Having the Courage to Be Disliked:

2. Opinions are like elbows.

Opinions are pinions. Nothing more. And they’re a dime a dozen. Therefore, don’t let other people’s negative opinions get under your skin. If you do, you’ll only allow their opinions to control you. As a result, you’ll only give them your power.

But once you finally begin seeing your worth, you’ll realize that you’re better off without those people. Therefore, ask yourself these questions:

  • “Have any of these people even reached my level?”
  • “Do their opinions even matter?
  • “Who are they that I should even care?”

They don’t know you on a personal level. Moreover, they aren’t your family nor your closest friends. Therefore, the weight you give to any opinion should depend on who holds it and the relationship you have with them.

If you’re a target of bullying, you should have the same attitude. Realize that not everyone’s thoughts or opinions are relevant. Moreover, their words mean nothing.

In order to be offended by what another person thinks, you must first value their opinions. And that means, you must first value them.

3. The Value you Give to someone’s Opinion Depends on Who they Are and how close you are to them.

Realize that some people’s dislike or hatred only comes from a place of ignorance. Or, it may stem from bitterness, jealousy, or insecurity.

Therefore, take it with a grain of salt. Only value the opinions of those who know you. That means, those of God and your closest family members and friends.

Again, to be hurt, angered, and offended by someone, you must first value their opinions. And for someone to piss you off or hurt your feelings, you must value them to some degree. I can’t stress this enough.

When you stop caring what bullies think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving your bullies the value and consideration they haven’t earned. Therefore, you stop giving them your power.

Always be yourself. Stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Also, have your own preferences and make your own choices. Do the things you love to do. And lastly, follow your own dreams and your heart. Do all of these things no matter who does or doesn’t like it.

4. Having the Courage to be Disliked:

No two people are the same.

Stop worrying about who does or doesn’t like you.

No two people have the exact likes, dislikes, tastes, or opinions. Therefore, their dislike bears no reflection on you. We all move in different circles and directions.

It’s just how life works and how we’re all made.

Continue to love and embrace yourself as the person God created you to be. Continue to enjoy the friends and loved ones you do have and never mind the people you don’t have. They aren’t important.

Embrace your differences because no two people are the same. Accept every flaw and quirk you have. Above all, accept no one’s ignorant, cookie-cutter version of what you should be.

Moreover, imagine how utterly and downright boring life would be if we were all the same. Imagine a world full of white people, black people, or Hispanics. Or a world full of people with blonde hair and blue eyes or dark hair and dark eyes!

It would be like living in a town where all diners were pizza parlors and served pizza but nothing else. Yuck! I love pizza, but I wouldn’t want to eat that every day!

Therefore, love being different. Know that there are people who love you and are begging to spend time with you. And above all else, know that God loves you.

5. Having the Courage to be Disliked:

They Do Not Define you.

Bullies may think they know you and they may attempt to define who you are. But only you know the definition of who you are. By trying to tell you who you are, your bullies attempt to force you to replace your definition of yourself with theirs.

Moreover, they try to play God.

Also, your bullies also want to force you to deny your beliefs and convictions. In that they try to convince you to deny yourself.

They want you to think that what they did to you was all in your mind. Your bullies want you to live in a world of make-believe.

However, understand that to accept someone else’s definition of you, you must first discard your own. When you allow bullies to dictate your inner reality, you lose bits and pieces of yourself.

Also, little by little, you lose the awareness of your emotions each time we allow them to do it. Then, eventually you grow numb.

Some Things are off-Limits!

For example, when you cry about a legitimate hurt that cuts you to the core, bullies will often invalidate the pain you feel by replacing it with their perceptions of it.

They do it by making these biting statements.

  • “It isn’t that serious!”
  • “You’re too sensitive!”
  • “Oh, boo-friggin-hoo! You’re just a little cry baby trying to get attention!”
  • “Grow up!”
  • “Put your big-girl panties on!”
  • “Get over it!”

Understand that when you feel sadness, you feel sadness. When you’re angry, you’re angry. Therefore, you should allow yourself to feel those emotions. No one has a right to tell you how to feel. Ever!

6. Having the Courage to be Disliked:

No one can tell you how to feel.

In making these types of statements and accusations, bullies cause many victims to feel guilty for being a person. However, realize that bullies don’t see you as a person.

In other words, they don’t consider you as a human being with thoughts, feelings, beliefs, and convictions of your own. They see you as an abject – a robot they can control.

Bullies don’t see you as an independent and separate being. They see you as a subject who’s only here for their purpose, pleasure, and entertainment.

Therefore, in their minds, your sole purpose on earth is to make them feel powerful. Nothing more. So, instead of allowing you to own your truth, bullies will tell you what your truth should be. And they’ll force-feed it to you by cramming it down your throat.

Therefore, this is the kind of response you should expect from bullies.

7. You have a right to be your own person.

If you’re not careful, you’ll allow their statements to overtake you. In that, you’ll allow their perceptions to replace yours.

You’ll begin to see yourself through their eyes. And you’ll slowly lose sight of yourself until you don’t know who you are anymore.

Even worse, you’ll lose your intuition in bits and pieces. Eventually you won’t know when to protect yourself, because you’ll grow numb to the abuse.

Realize that this is how bullies and abusers train you not to defend yourself. And once they do, they then have you right where they want you.

This is how bullies slowly brainwash you to accept bigger abuses.

Having the Courage to be Disliked:

Never allow your bullies to destroy what matters.

Understand that you must muster the strength to withstand your bullies’ attacks. Do all you can to maintain your sense of self and refuse to accept your bullies’ definitions of you.

Never allow others to trick you into believing that they know you better than you know yourself. The truth is that you know yourself better than anyone else in the entire world.

Why? Because you’re the only one other than God who lives inside you.

However, realize that bullies are persistent. Therefore, you must maintain clarity of who you are. Your beliefs, convictions, likes, dislikes, preferences, authenticity, autonomy, and your ability to decide when something doesn’t feel good all add up to equal your truth.

Your self-definition, sense of self, self-belief, autonomy, confidence, self-esteem are like precious gems. Therefore, you must guard them against thieves who wish to take them.

And you do it by refusing to accept other people’s opinions of you. You do it by realizing that you don’t need everyone to like you. So, hold onto your self-respect.

This post was all about having the courage to be disliked so that you can maintain your confidence and save your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

2. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well

3. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

the importance of forgiveness in recovery

The Importance of Forgiveness

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‘Want to know the importance of forgiveness? Here are all the reasons why you should forgive your bullies once you heal from bullying, and why it’s healthy to.

the importance of forgiveness

Forgiving your bullies and anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy, but it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the importance of forgiveness and why it will help you to move on to a happier life.

Once you learn all about this crucial step, you will be able to more easily forgive your bullies once you heal and move on to a happier and more rewarding life.

This post is all about the importance of forgiveness so that you can finally have peace.

The importance of Forgiveness

I know, I know! I can practically hear the groans of dread and scoffs coming from a few already. To be honest, I once had the same attitude myself anytime someone advised me to forgive.  I wasn’t ready to because I hadn’t healed yet.

Therefore, if you’re one of those people, I do understand how you feel.

Sometimes, you need time to process the abuse you suffered and heal before you can forgive. Again, completely understandable!

Only you can know when you’re ready. Understand that forgiveness doesn’t mean that the transgression they committed against you is okay.

And it doesn’t mean that you have to buddy up with the person who wronged you. Heavens, no!However, once you’ve healed and you’re ready to forgive, it will only benefit you, not your attacker.

Here’s why it’s important to forgive.

Forgiveness is a must! It is a prerequisite for re-empowerment and happiness. It’s not about letting anyone off the hook. It’s about setting yourself free from the toxic feelings of anger and hate.

Because, if you’re not careful, those raw feelings can hold you back. They can keep you stuck in a quagmire of negativity and that’s no way to live.

Therefore, this message is for targets of bullying today and for survivors of bullying. Forgive them when you’re ready.

I can tell you this! For me, the ability to forgive was like a huge weight that was lifted off of my shoulders. Once you decide to let go and move on, there’s no better feeling!

The Importance of Forgiveness:

Hate keeps you trapped.

Anytime you hold on to grudges and hate for a person, that individual controls you whether you realize it or not. They may have exerted control over the years they bullied you. However, you don’t have to let them control the rest of your life.

Let me put it another way, holding onto anger and hate doesn’t hurt the person it’s aimed at. It hurts you. Because the people you hold grudges against either don’t know about it, or they don’t care.

While you’re sitting around stewing over someone who did you wrong, that person could care less. They’re going on with their lives and not giving you so much as a thought.

So, why should you allow them to take up space in your mind? Stop letting them live in your head rent-free!

Forgiveness is the only solution to this problem. It’s the only way that you will be able to take back control of your life.

If you want to be happy, successful, and live in peace, forgive the people who wronged you. It’s the only way!

You must heal before you can forgive

I understand because I’ve been there. People do things to you that is so bad that it sometimes takes years to forgive them. It’s why many people don’t go to their class reunions, company outings and even family reunions.

When someone severely wrongs you, you don’t desire to see their face. You’re just damn glad they’re out of your life and you just want to forget them.

When bullies have targeted you, it’s only natural to feel anger, resentment, and disgust toward them. Therefore, to heal, you must allow yourself to feel the pain and raw emotions.

In other words, never bury the pain. Never keep it stuffed down inside because you’re afraid to make anyone angry or uncomfortable.

Why? Because it will only fester if you do. You will only internalize everything you’ve been through.

Moreover, all that toxicity will come out sooner or later in either destructive rage or physical illness. In fact, it’s how many people suffer heart attacks and strokes.

So, take your time and feel your emotions as long as you need to. Just don’t stay in that dark place for long. Don’t set up your tent and live there!

The Importance of Forgiveness:

Forgiveness does not require reconciliation, nor does it mean you can’t speak out about the abuse.

Be open about your anger and talk to a friend, family member, or therapist. Tell them you’re pissed. Speak out about the abuse.

Whatever you do, get it out! And realize there will be people who won’t like it.

Understand that, in this world, there are people who won’t mind wiping their feet all over you. However, they get offended when you become angry about it and talk about it, or worse, tell them a thing or two!

There will be people who expect you to be okay with something they know damn good and well they wouldn’t be okay with if it were done to them.

The path to forgiving is letting it all out.

Therefore, tell those people to get lost because they don’t matter. What matters is that you care for yourself and put yourself first.

Why should you give a crap about their feelings? They never cared about yours. So, never let others make you feel guilty for speaking out and responding in kind!

Tell them how you feel and let it out. But do it constructively. Put some bass in your voice. Be firm, but don’t yell. A certain amount of cursing is expected when you’re pushed too far.

But don’t drop any F-bombs. Raise your voice if you need to, but don’t scream and yell. Screaming and yelling will only incite toxic people to push your buttons to see you react. Then they’ll go tell everyone who’ll listen that you’re “mentally unstable.”

So, go somewhere private and cry if you need to. Crying doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It means that you’re a human being with feelings.

Do whatever you must do to get it off your chest. Why? Because the sooner you can process those bad feelings, the sooner you can forgive and move on to a better life.

Once you get it all out, you will heal. Then, once you heal, you will be able to forgive. As a result, you’ll find a peace you’ve never known.

Moreover, you can find outlets for it through things like writing books and blogs, music, art, and other creative works. During constructive things like these will give you closure

 The Importance of Forgiveness:

Forgiveness doesn’t mean foolishness.

In other words, it doesn’t mean you must let them back into your life. Why? Because some people will never be worthy of your trust.

Again, healthy, forgiveness doesn’t mean you think what they did to you was okay. Far from it. What it means is that you refuse to let those who transgressed against you set up camp in your mind.

It means that you refuse to hold onto grudges that may block you from your rightful blessings. In this, you make room for growth and success.

However, too may people think that forgiveness means that you must become buddy-buddy with the person. They then wonder why they keep getting hurt.

Realize that bullies only see forgiveness as a weakness and stupidity. They view forgiveness as a green light to continue their abuse.

Understand that some people think that forgiveness means that you’re okay with it and always will be.

Therefore, you must realize that forgiveness doesn’t obligate you to interact with the person who did you wrong. Moreover, it doesn’t mean you continue to be someone’s fool.

You can forgive someone and still realize that they’re no good. Toxic people are dead weight and, though you may forgive them, you realize that it’s still best to keep them at arm’s length.

You’re strong enough to forgive but wise enough to avoid toxic people.

You avoid them because you realize that these people will only take your forgiveness for foolishness. Therefore, because they have a history of pushing your boundaries, you’re forgiving, yet assertive.

Forgiveness is great because it gives you peace of mind. Moreover, you’re doing what God commands you to do. Besides, how can God forgive us of our trespasses against Him if we don’t first forgive others of their wrongs against us?

Forgive, but forgive wisely. If you continue to allow these people to have a place in your life, they will only continue to take advantage of you.

You don’t have to be mean to or mistreat them but there’s no law that says you have to trust them again. It’s better that you don’t trust them.

Some people you must forgive from afar.

This post was all about the importance of forgiveness so that you can feel better about forgiving your bullies once you’re ready.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconnection

2. Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

3. Glimmers: How You Can Use Them to Heal from Bullying

bullying and personal responsibility at work

Bullying and Personal Responsibility: 3 Reasons to be Responsible for Your Own Safety

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‘Want to know about bullying and personal responsibility and why you should take responsibility for your own safety? Here are all the reasons you must know about.

bullying and personal responsibility

Bullying and personal responsibility go hand in hand when victims and targets defend themselves against bullying. Why? Because they’re taking responsibility for their safety.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and personal responsibility and why you should take responsibility for your own safety instead of relying too much on someone coming to rescue you.

Once you learn all these important facts, you will feel free to stand up to bullies on your own if you’ve reported bullying and been ignored.

This post is all about bullying and personal responsibility so that you can stop depending on people in authority who refuse to help you and take control of the situation.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility

If you’re a target of bullying, you have every right to be angry. Your bullies have slowly, over time, stolen your life from you.

Moreover, they have brainwashed you into believing that you aren’t worthy of respect, love, or friendship. Moreover, they’ve sabotaged your ability to get a date and of having happiness and success.

In essence, they have psychologically and maybe even physically bludgeoned you. They may have even taken away your opportunities by the lies and rumors they spread to keep you down.

Bullies not only sabotage you relationships, they also wreak havoc on your opportunities and life-chances. They turn everyone against you. Moreover, these are people who would otherwise be good friends and associates.

Your bullies have sucked the life out of you. As a result, you’ve become a shell of your former self. All because your bullies have held you emotionally hostage for so many years

You’ve tried many time to report the bullying. However, most of the people who have the power to help you refuse to listen to you.

These people could be your teachers, principal, supervisor, or your HR manager. Whoever they are, they don’t want to help you. Or worse, they may have sided with the bullies and blamed you.

Therefore, isn’t it time that you got pissed and took your life back? Of course it is! However, you must use the anger constructively.

You see? Bullies are waiting for you to screw up. They know that sometimes, it’s too easy to do or say something out of emotion. And it can get you into a ton of trouble.

That’s what your bullies are looking for. Therefore, they push your buttons in hopes that you will react by doing/saying something foolish. Don’t give them that satisfaction.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

1. No one else is coming to rescue you. Your safety is on you.

Life is but a vapor and we only get one chance in this world. Therefore, it’s your responsibility to make that chance count.

If bullies make a derogatory statement to you. It’s up to you to counter that statement. Therefore, start today by countering every negative statement your bullies may throw at you.

Tell yourself that you are awesome. Also, tell yourself that you’re a trooper and you deserve much better than the shit people have been giving you.

Become a force to be reckoned with. Stand up and let these confidence thieves know that they have no control over your life and they no longer have an effect on you. Reclaim your power and do it NOW!

If you’re a victim of bullying, can you truly and totally rely on people in authority to help you? Can you rely on them to do something about the bullying you suffer?

Moreover, can you depend on them to hold your bullies accountable for their horrible behavior? Can you rely on others to bring you justice?

The answer is a resounding NO!

2. You cannot legislate bullying out of Bullies.

In other words, you cannot pass laws against it and think that it will go away. Passing laws against bullying will get a lot of innocent victims of it in trouble.

I used to be all about laws against bullying. And yes, the idea sounds great. I won’t pretend it doesn’t.

However, I’m beginning to gravitate away from making bullying a crime. Why? Because most people aren’t going to protect targets until it happens to them or one of theirs.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

3. Anti-Bullying policies aren’t worth the paper they’re printed on.

You cannot rely too much on policies. Why? Because they have no teeth!

Schools and workplaces, can write all the anti-bullying rules and policies they want. But, until they enforce those policies, they’re only as cheap as the ink and paper administrators use to make them.

In other words, what good are laws and policies if these entities don’t enforce them? And, at what point do we stop relying on the system to protect us and begin protecting ourselves?

Understand that, no matter what anyone says, you don’t have to put up with anyone else’s crap. Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up to bullies and do it properly.

And if defending yourself doesn’t work, you have the option to remove yourself from the situation and environment.

We Must Learn to Take Care of Ourselves

Here’s another reason I’m gravitating away from making bullying a crime. It’s because most seasoned bullies have ways of making innocent targets look like the bullies.

Therefore, if lawmakers make bullying an imprison-able crime, many innocent targets would end up behind bars. Because, again, bullies, especially those with NPD, have a flare for flipping the script and, very convincingly, painting their victim as the bad guy.

Too many targets have been conditioned to think that self-defense is wrong. It isn’t!

And the people who condition these victims are often bullies themselves. Therefore, if bullies target you for bullying, you must know your enemies. You must do a lot of study and research on bullies, then use the knowledge you gain to outmaneuver them.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

Do Your Own Investigation

Also, you must do your own investigation and gather your own evidence. That means detailed documentation.

Moreover, you may need to use the last resort and bust the bully in the mouth if all else fails and the bully tries to physically attack you. It’s the only way you can effectively defend yourself.

Remember! Most school officials, parents and even law enforcement don’t realize the daily horrors that victims endure.

Moreover, bullies are slick! They are experts at deceiving authority and making their victims looks like the guilty party.

It takes more than simply reporting incidences of bullying to school staff and authorities. Why? Because in most cases, people in power will only rebuff or blame you for the torment.

These are only a few reasons why it is so important that you keep a daily journal if you are ever targeted by bullies.

You Must Document Every Bullying Incident in Detail.

In other words, keep a daily journal and write down what happened in full detail. Moreover, when you write about it, use the 5W Method.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

What is the 5W Method?

When you use the 5W Method, you record what, who, when, where, and why. Sometimes, you must also record how it happened. The trick is to write down every detail you can.

Using the 5W Method helps you do that.

1. What

Write down what happened… in detail. Describe the attack exactly as it happened. Also, do it while it’s still fresh in your memory.

2. Who

Write down the names of the bullies – the people involved in the attack. Moreover, record the names of any bystanders and witnesses. These people will be anyone who is present when your bullies attack you.

3. When

Jot down the exact time, date when the provocation occurred.

4. Where

Write down the place the altercation occurred. For example, if the bullying attack happened at school, did it happen in the bathroom?

If so, write down that you were in the bathroom when it happened.

5. Why

If your bully attacked you because you reported a prior bullying incident, write that down. This is super important!

6. If need be, write down how it happened.

The more details you can give, the better!

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

Record every Bullying incident, no matter how subtle.

Do this with every incident that takes place. Leave nothing out! Even if the attacks are seen as minor, such as snickering when you you walk in the room, you must still record it in your journal.

I can’t stress this enough- keep very detailed records of any taunts, threats and altercations no matter how small they may seem.

Journals are the best way for victims to protect themselves. Also, they’re admissible in court. Therefore, you’ll have a record to present to a judge if you need to take legal action.

When I was in school, I kept a journal of the bullying I suffered and I still have some of the material today. In fact, it helped me to write my book, “From Victim to Victor” and tell the story of how I was bullied by my classmates.

Keep your Bullying Journal Private.

This is a must! Bullies are notorious for snooping through their victim’s belongings. Also, they’ll destroy your property. Therefore, keep your journal at home and write in it as soon as you get home.

 This should go without saying, you certainly wouldn’t want the wrong people to find it. Because, if they do, your bullies will destroy your evidence. Also, they will retaliate against you for having it in the first place.

Again, keep it at home!

Wear a Body Camera or Keep a Digital Recorder on you and record the bullying.

If the laws in your state allow, record the bullying in real time. Body cameras are best but if you only have a digital audio recorder, you can use it.

However, I would suggest that you check the laws of your state first. If you live in a one-party consent state, you’re free to record.

However, if you live in a two-party consent state. Don’t do it. If you do, your bullies and your school or company can come back and sue you for violation of privacy laws.

Bullying and Personal Responsibility:

Save any mean or threatening emails, Texts, social media posts, comments, or private messages on three or more different thumb Drives.

If bullies bully you at school or work, there’s a good chance they’ll stalk your social media pages, get your email address, and bully you online too.

Therefore, save everything on three or more different flash drives. Then, keep each flash drive in different places. The trick is to take precautions in case someone connected to your bullies breaks into your house to do a little snooping around.

This doesn’t happen often. However, it has happened and you want to take precautions.

In Conclusion

You are responsible for your safety. When you suffer bullying, it’s up to you to do your own investigation and gather your own evidence.

The last thing you should do is depend on anyone else. Report the bullying, yes. However, if the school or company doesn’t do anything about it. Then, you must do what you have to do to build your own case.

This post is all about bullying and personal responsibility so that you’ll know exactly what to do if you ever encounter bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

2. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

healing from bullying as an adult

Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

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Would you like to know the best things you can do when healing from bullying? Here are 11 ways to do it that I and so many other survivors swear by.

healing from bullying

Bullying is very traumatic and impacts self-esteem; it often takes many years to heal. People who’ve never endured bullying cannot comprehend how it can change your life.

The good thing about leaving a toxic environment is that once you’re gone, you can begin healing and rebuilding your life. However, in many cases, it’s easier said than done.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the best ways to healing from bullying so that you can begin rebuilding your life and take back your power.

Once you learn all about these important techniques, you will be compelled to put them to work for you and began putting the pieces back together again. In that, you will eventually get back to the happier life you once knew.

This post is all about healing from bullying so that you can start anew and look forward to a beautiful future!

Healing from Bullying

Healing for bullying can be difficult and may time years. However with these eight tips, you’ll heal quicker and more successfully.

Here are eight things you can do that can help you heal quicker.

1. Seek Therapy.

I realize that there’s a certain amount of stigma that goes with it. However, getting therapy is the best and most important thing you can do for yourself.

You must do what you must do to take care of yourself. So, don’t concern yourself with the opinions of others.

People are going to have something to say whether you do or you don’t. Therefore, do what’s best for you and to hell with them.

2. Healing from Bullying:

Rest.

When you’re fresh out of a bullying environment, you’ll more than likely to be exhausted. Therefore, get plenty of sleep.

Also, take some quiet time for yourself. Go on a walk in the park on a beautiful day, or take a pajama day. Get all the rest you can get for a few days.

3. Music.

Music is therapy in itself. Once you’ve got plenty of rest, put in some easy listening for relaxation. Also, you can play some slow jams like TLC or Keith Sweat.

Or, you can pop in some dance grooves and rock and roll to make you dance. There’s nothing that lifts the mood like shaking your booty around the house to Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul.

 Moreover, you could rock out to some Van Halen, Judas Priest, or Def Leppard. Whatever your taste in music, you’ll feel much better when you do. So, get out those CD’s or stream some music on your computer.

4. Healing from Bullying:

Lean on the people who love you.

One of the most important things you need is a network of friends and loved ones who support you. Especially when you’re recovering from bullying!

Therefore, keep company with the people who uplift you, love you, and make you feel good. It’ll help you salvage the confidence you’ve lost.

5. Do things you enjoy most.

Indulge in your hobbies and favorite activities. Hobbies allow us to be creative. Therefore, if you create, you feel accomplished! So, rake in those little successes!

It’s those tiny little wins that will make you feel so much better!

6. Exercise.

Exercise is a major stress-buster. Moreover, you can get rid of all that negative energy like anger and depression by sweating it out in the gym or at home, to a workout video.

Whatever strikes your fancy, get moving and exercise! It will make you feel so much better!

7. Healing from Bullying:

Forgive.

Forgiving anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy. However, it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I’m probably going to piss a few people off with this.  In fact, there was once a time I would get angry any time someone advised me to forgive my bullies.

However, since then, I’ve discovered that forgiveness is how we heal.

I do understand if you aren’t ready. Sometime you must heal before you can forgive. Therefore, take time to process the abuse you suffered and recover first. Only you know when you’re ready.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did to you is okay. Moreover, it does it mean you have to be friends with the person who wronged you. You don’t have to let them back into your life if you don’t want to.

It’s totally up to you.

If you don’t trust the person, that’s okay too. Some people, you can never trust and you must forgive them from afar. However, do forgive them. It will help you more than you know.

8. Take a trip.

After being in a toxic environment for so long, you may need to get away for a while. Therefore, visit a family member in another state.

You can also embark on a camping trip in the mountains. Or, you can hit the beach and relax in the sun as you listen to the sounds of seagulls and crashing waves.

Whether you prefer a tropical island or an Alaskan getaway, you’ll return home feeling much better!

9. Healing from Bullying:

Treat yourself to a day or night out with the guys or gals.

You and your pals could go to a concert or out to lunch or dinner. Maybe you can go window shopping or to a bar and listen to a live band. In other words, don’t isolate yourself.

Get out and have fun. Because sometimes it pays to go out and paint the town red!

Just go easy on the drinks. Alcohol is a depressant! Moreover, if you must have a few drinks, don’t forget to have a designated driver handy.

Healing can take a while to do and may also take much work. But in the end, it’ll be worth it!

10. Treat yourself to a pampering session.

What is a pampering session. It can be anything, from a facial to a pedicure. Moreover, you can treat yourself to a manicure or a new hairdo.

Maybe you’re the type who likes a deep massage in a spa. Also, you can treat yourself to the works – all of the above! There are spas that will give you the royal treatment for a nice discount!

If you’re a little low on funds, you can also give yourself a pampering session at home. For example, you could buy some bath bombs and treat yourself to a relaxing soak in the bathtub.

Or, you can give yourself a pedicure. All you need is a small tub and some warm water to soak your feet in. Also, you can use a pumice stone, foot file, and cuticle stick to remove dead skin and rough spots from your feet and toes.

To top it off, you can paint your toenails. Whatever you like to do, practice self-care. It will make a big difference in how you feel!

11. Healing from Bullying:

Protect and defend yourself from those who wish to harm you.

This means protecting your mind and spirit from attacks as well as your body. If someone attacks you verbally, no matter how subtle the attacks may be, you have a right to respond in kind.

If some creep tries to use physical violence against you, by all means, fight back! The point is to set boundaries! And, if you need to, enforce those boundaries!

Say no. Moreover, call out anyone who tries to abuse you. Whatever you do, never take abuse lying down. Ever!

Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you put up with. Therefore, if someone violates your boundaries in any way, call it out. Tell that person, in no uncertain terms, to stop it now!

Let them know that you won’t tolerate bad behavior from anyone. Do what you must do to defend yourself from bullying and abuse.

Remember that you have just as much of a right to safety, respect, and dignity as the next person. Therefore, defend yourself as you would your best friend!

In fact, be your own best friend! Let no one disrupt your peace. Moreover, don’t allow anyone to stand in the way of your healing!

In Conclusion:

Self-care is the most important thing you can do for yourself.  Moreover, self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential, especially when you’re healing from bullying!

Be prepared for naysayers to tell you that you’re being selfish for taking care of yourself. However, don’t you believe it for a second!

Everyone has a right to take care of themselves. That includes you! Therefore, love yourself enough to put yourself first.

Because, baby! You’re worth it!

This post is all about healing from bullying and ways to do it so that you can recover without any disruptions and take your power back!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

4. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

5. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

self-preservation instinct in animals

Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

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‘Want to know all about the self-preservation instinct and why defending yourself against bullying is perfectly okay? Here are all the facts you need to know about.

self-preservation instinct

Everyone has a right to self-preservation.

In this post, you will learn about the self-preservation instinct and why it’s okay to defend yourself against bullying and abuse.

Once you learn all about these truths, you will feel better about doing what you must do to protect yourself against bullying and about self-care.

This post is all about the self-preservation instinct so that you won’t feel guilty when you must defend yourself against bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct

First, what is this instinct? It’s the natural, innate drive to defend yourself from harm and to ensure your own survival. It’s as old as humanity.

Examples of self-preservation include running from danger, fighting back against an attacker, setting boundaries, self-care, avoiding toxic people, and taking rest breaks.

Therefore, when people bully you, self-preservation is of the utmost importance. Sadly, most targets of bullying have been conditioned not to defend themselves when confronted with threats to their safety.

Therefore, you most retrain yourself to respond accordingly when people even attempt to violate your boundaries and your peace.

You must Meet your bullies where they are.

“What does this mean?” You may ask. It means that you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Put simpler, when a bully is in your face, they will go no holds barred. Therefore, you can’t afford to be nice about it. There is no being polite.

There is no way to handle a bully “nicely.” Why? Because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage.

Also, there is no being quiet because a bully will take your silence as being afraid.

In other words, never try to handle a bully politely. Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

nice and polite doesn’t work

Understand that you may have done everything to try and defuse the situation peacefully.  However, in most cases, the bully just keeps coming back.

That’s when it’s time to get down and dirty. Remember that you’re in a battle. Therefore, when you’re in a battle, there’s no time to hold back and try to be the bigger person.

Why? Because when it reaches this level, that’s when things can get dangerous fast.

You must be willing to go off on the bully and think nothing of it. In other words, you have to call them out and you can’t do it being nice. Sometimes you must get nasty.

There are times you must get just as dirty as they do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. You’re in a situation where you could get hurt and you must protect yourself by any means necessary but legal. And self-defense is legal.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

This is not the time to be concerned with what people think

It’s easy for bystanders to judge you and give unwanted advice when they’re have no skin in the game and are sitting safely in the cheap seats.

For example, you’re a victim of school bullying and you finally get fed up and begin fighting back against your bullies. You may have classmates tell you, “’Ya know? You shouldn’t have cursed so-and-so out because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.

” Really? It’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had you backed in a corner and was unloading on you. Now, all of a sudden, you’re the bad guy for using bad words and defending yourself?

Don’t fall for that crap! Know that you have every right to defend yourself against anyone who violates your boundaries. Remember, your bully came for you first. Therefore, you should tell the self-righteous asshole who feeds you this garbage to go kick rocks!

Self-Preservation instinct:

When you stand up to a bully, there will be bystanders who insert their cheap two cents.

Realize that when you’re forced to get nasty, there will be people who tell you that you should have handled it better. They will accuse you of being just as lowdown as the bully.

Moreover, these will be people who aren’t being bullied. Therefore, they’ll have no dog in the fight.

However, instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with a response. Tell them this:

“Funny, you never said a word during all the times they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say? Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

You must speak in the only language bullies understand.

Bullies don’t comprehend the meaning of class. They don’t understand morals and scruples. Moreover, they have no concept of decency and respectability. The only language bullies understand is a language that is cheap, tacky, and unsavory.

Bullies (and anyone who is even remotely impressed by them) are a dime a dozen. They really are. Therefore, there are times when you must speak in the only language they understand. Then they just might get the message and back the hell off!

If this makes you uncomfortable, I understand. It sucks when you must get down and wallow in the bullies’ foulness and filth with them. But for the sake of self-preservation, sometimes you’ve no choice but to lower your own moral standards.

The good news is that you don’t have to stay in the mud. You can reserve the nastiness for emergencies, like bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Never Be Afraid of Conflict

Conflict is a part of life. It’s something we all encounter. Many targets and survivors of bullying are deathly afraid of conflict.

Why? Because they’ve had so much of it forced on them by bullies who refuse to leave them alone. Understand that these poor souls haven’t yet dealt with the hurts they still have.

 Therefore, they don’t yet know their worth and the good they deserve. Many targets and survivors of bullying suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

It is because of this that they’re still stuck in survival mode.

As a result, target’s cave in. They give in to bullies to appease them just so they’ll shut the hell up and go away. Moreover, people get tired of hearing self-entitled bullies bitch, rant, and beat their chests when they don’t get their way.

So, the unspoken message is, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

Therefore, if you fall into this category, I understand why you end up being this way. You get exhausted when you constantly have to battle.

Struggling to take back your autonomy and self-determination wears you out after a while. You get worn down and weary. And all you want is for people to leave you alone and let you have some peace.

And you’ll do anything to have that peace, even if it means surrendering to your bullies’ demands.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Avoiding Conflict Can Have Social Consequences.

If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak and walk all over you. Therefore, you must set boundaries.

There are times when you must say no. There are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across. You must do whatever it takes to let people know that no means no and enough is enough.

Understand that this requires courage. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks. You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry.

Moreover, you must risk being lashed out at and retaliated against. Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships. And no, one of it feels good.

In short, you must stand up for yourself and that means facing conflict.

Think of it this way, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re going to face conflict no matter what. Why? because people will bring the conflict to you. Hiding from it does no good because it will eventually find you.

When people target you for bullying, conflict is unavoidable and certain.

Run from conflict and you’ll end up running from it for the rest of your life!

Therefore, why not face it head on? It’s better to embrace it and stand up to people rather than to keep avoiding it. Then, you can feel better about yourself later knowing that you finally grew a spine and told them where to shove it.

You may face retaliation for it. However, you’d face it anyway. Why? Because, right or wrong, bullies will always find some justification for attacking you.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Sometimes, Fighting Is The Only Alternative You Have

Many times throughout your life, you will hear self-righteous people preach against fighting in self-defense. When you defend yourself against physical bullies, those in power and others may tell you, “Violence doesn’t solve anything.”

If you’re a female who had to defend herself from a physical attacker, a few others may tell you, “fighting isn’t lady-like.”

Well, neither is getting your face beat in by a physical bully.

Trust me. You’d much rather fight back than to just stand there and take an ass-beating. When bullies target you for bullying and you decide to stand up for yourself, there will be people who will judge you for it.

Again, they’ll climb up on their soapbox and insert their two cents where it doesn’t belong. They’ll make comments to you that “violence doesn’t solve anything.” They may tell you that “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

You’ve heard the term, “All up in your Kool-Aid, and don’t know the flavor.” Yep! That’s where they’ll will be when you get enough of bullying and decide to take care of business.

However, what else do you do if you’re a kid at school getting their brains beat out every other day? Just stand there and allow them to hurt you over and over again?

Moreover, what do you do if you’re a female in a dark parking lot and some creep jumps out and grabs you? You do what you must to protect yourself. And if that means beating the thunder out of someone, then so be it!

Self-Defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a Right!

Targets of bullying get suspended or expelled from school when they finally defend themselves against a bully. It happens all the time. After months or years of being mercilessly bullied you grow tired of all the BS.

You’ve tried handling it through nonviolent means. However, bullies only took you for being a wuss and increased the physical attacks. Moreover, they did this until you finally got fed up and beat the living crap out of them.

Now, everyone’s surprised and outraged! Not at the bully who attacked you, but at you! But where was their outrage when you were getting pummeled without provocation?

Where was their outrage when the shoe was on the other foot? Where was their humanity when you cried out for help?

These are the exact questions you should ask anyone who gets offended by your defending yourself. Know that you’re just as good as the next person.

Moreover, realize that you have the same rights as anyone else- including your bullies. And know that you have the right to defend yourself anytime some creep threatens you with physical harm.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

It’s about taking care of yourself.

Understand that this is a part of self-care. It’s true that fighting isn’t always the answer. However sometimes, bullies will leave you no other choice.

So, if you’ve tried everything else, know that you must do what you must to keep yourself safe. And if it means putting up your dukes and getting froggy, so be it.

It’s sad when a target must fight all the time to keep themselves from being harmed. However, I don’t hold it against anyone who fights back under those circumstances.

Why? Because you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

Tell these nosy bystanders how you feel and what you think of them. Because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you.

Realize that there are times when you have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. Therefore, when some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they just might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

Therefore, meet the you bullies where they are. Respond in kind to bad treatment. And assert your right not to put up with bullying and abuse.

This post was all about the self-preservation instinct to assure you that self-defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a law of nature and it’s your right!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

 2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

practicing self-care when people bully you at work

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

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‘Want to know how to go about practicing self-care when people bully you? Here are awesome ways to give yourself compassion when you’re being bullied.

practicing self-care when people bully you

If you don’t start looking out for number one, you’ll only continue coming in last! I cannot stress this enough. It’s not selfish to make yourself second to only God. Especially around bullies and people who don’t value you.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you’re a parent raising children, or you have an ailing mother who depends on you, it’s only natural that you would put your family ahead of yourself- that’s a given. We all have an obligation to our families.

It’s also a given (or should be) that you always put God ahead of everyone else, including yourself. Again, that’s completely understandable, and more than that, it’s expected.

But when you’re in a toxic environment, around people who want to use and take you for granted, understand that you are top priority and to hell with them if they don’t like it.

Therefore, in this post you will learn the 10 ways in practicing self-care when people bully you.

Once you learn all these important tips, you’ll have the tools to show yourself compassion and feel better about yourself.

This post is all about practicing self-care when people bully you so that you can begin putting yourself first and begin to take back your peace.

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Understand that when you’re being bullied in school or the workplace, the only person you have is you! Therefore, be good to yourself. How do you do this?

  1. Set firm boundaries

Setting boundaries means saying no. And when you say it, say it early-on and often! Moreover, it means confidently calling out any disrespect. Then, walking away from the disrespectful drama starter without looking back. And this goes even if it’s someone you love and care about.

You have to look out for number one, because, if you don’t, no one else will. In fact, they just might use you as a rug.

So, protect your peace no matter what.

2. Keep in your mind that self-care isn’t selfish.

Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s crucial!

Many people may have conditioned you to think that putting yourself first is selfish. Those people may have called you self-centered for it. Maybe you were raised being told that self-centeredness is a huge turnoff to others. In many cases, that’s true.

Bullies and abusers also tell you this.  However, they only say these things to shame you into staying around and silently taking their abuse. Therefore, you must pay attention to context and know when people are gaslighting you with this statement.

There’s a difference in practicing self-care and being self-centered.

  • Self-centeredness comes with self-entitlement. It involves stepping on the rights of other people and not caring how they feel. It is the root of bullying and abuse.
  • Self-care, on the other hand, means taking care of yourself without walking on others’ rights. In other words, it means that you know you’re no better than anyone else, but just as good as the next person.  It means you know your rights and you’re not afraid to stand up for those rights.

You practice self-care because you hold yourself in high regard.  Moreover, you treat yourself like the family member or friend that you dearly love.

It’s funny how quick bullies are to call you self-centered when you stand up to their abuse. Therefore, see it as a part of the bully’s playbook.

Therefore, if you have bullies and abusers who abuse you, always know that if they accuse you of anything- anything at all, you can bet that they are doing it themselves.

So, continue to look out for number one, even if you must find a way to do it on the sly. Don’t you think you’re worth it?

3. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Self-Care May Mean Making Heartbreaking Decisions

Once you choose not to be a target anymore, you may have to make very tough decisions. You will more than likely have to weed certain people out of your life for good.

Moreover, some of those people may even be people you love very much.

You can still love them, ‘nothing wrong with it. However, as much as you may love them, they are not always healthy for you to be around.

It’s a decision many have to make with toxic family members. And it’s very excruciating for them. Why? Because, when someone has to stop talking to a family member, they miss them very much.

In fact, they mourn the person deeply. Even after all the cutting remarks, that family member may have made or the abuse they inflict, the victim still mourns them. It’s akin to having a death in the family.

There’s no pain like mourning someone who’s still alive.

However, you still must cut the person off if they continue to disrupt your peace. It’s the only way you’ll be able to heal and rebuild your life.

If you’re going through something similar, don’t lose heart. Your relationship with your estranged loved one is still repairable. Some stories do have happy endings.

There’s always a chance you’ll be closer than ever later on! Sometimes, it takes a separation to bring people closer. Although painful when it happens, walking away may actually be a great thing and produce awesome results later on.

Anytime you walk away, your value and the other person’s value often go up. Therefore, in time, you both learn to respect one another. Then you love each other even more than you did before.

4. Do the Things You Enjoy most.

The idea is to create positive experiences for yourself that will balance out the bad stuff. Doing your favorite hobbies is a great way to do that.

5. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You:

Work toward your goals.

If you focus on your goals, you won’t have time to focus on your bullies. Besides, they don’t deserve even to be an afterthought. So, work on your goals and where you want to go.

Moreover, make life all about those things. Keep doing your thing!

6. Treat yourself.

In other words, treat yourself to a good, long soak in the bathtub, or to a makeover. Go to a spa and get a good muscle massage and pampering session.

Focus on your well-being and the more likely you are to heal from bullying.

7. take a trip.

Sometimes, it’s just good to steal away to a beach house on a secluded beach with your family or friends. Also, you can visit an out of state relative.

Whatever you decide, getting out of town helps to bring you out of stagnation and revive you. It also gives you a sense of adventure, and that always lifts the mood. So, pack your things and go!

8. Indulge in your hobbies.

Hobbies not only make you feel accomplished, but they take your mind off your bullies and the bullying you suffered in the past. Therefore, find something you enjoy doing the most and concentrate on it.

Being creative is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Moreover, it helps to remind you that you are good at something and that you have value. Which, you do!

9. Practicing self-care when People Bully You:

kick toxic people out of your life.

In other words, go no contact with anyone who uses or abuses you even a little. Why? Because the little abuses can add up to a huge punch to your self-esteem. Instead, begin keeping company with those who love you and who uplift you.

Spending time with the people who love you the most can be a buffer to your self-esteem. Why? Because it has a way of making up for all the hurt bullies cause you.

It gives you an equal or more amount of positivity in your life. Therefore, hang with those who make you feel best about yourself. Share happy times with them, laugh with them, because laughter truly is the best medicine!

10. work out and eat healthy.

Eating a good diet has ways of making you feel well. This alone can work wonders for your self-esteem. Instead of eating junk that make you feel sluggish, eat proteins and green veggies to energize you.

Also, it pays to exercise every day.

Exercise not only makes you healthier and promotes weight loss and better muscle tone, but it can also be one heck of a stress buster. Whether you like High-Intensity Training with weights or a brisk walk through the park, it increases endorphins and other feel-good chemicals to help you feel better.

Focusing on your physical health is another way to take care of yourself when people bully you.

This post is all about practicing self-Care when people bully you so that you can better protect your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

2. Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

4. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

5. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

benefits of self-love meditation

Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

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‘Want to know the benefits of self-love so that you’ll be compelled to practice it and better your life? Here are all the reasons to love yourself in any situation.

benefits of self-love

Many times, you may have allowed bullying to shoot down your confidence. Moreover, you’ve heard critical and debasing voices of the people around you when you were growing up.

Moreover, they conditioned you to take it as truth. You were an innocent person who ended up internalizing the bad stuff that happened to you. Even worse, you mistook them as confirmation that you’re unlovable.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the benefits of self-love and why it’s so important that you love yourself.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be more inclined to begin practicing self-love so that you can take back your power and change your life for the better.

This post is all about the benefits of self-love to let you know that once you begin to love yourself, life can only get better.

Benefits of Self-Love

When people bully you from everywhere, they will often try to convince you that you’re no good and that no one should love you. Moreover, they may use your past mistakes to convince you that you should hate yourself. But, listen up!

You must realize that the devil is the author of lies and a good liar always uses the past to convince you that their lies are the truth. They tell you that you’re unworthy, that you’re bad, that you’ll never amount to a hill of beans.

However, understand that it’s all lies.

You must Love the person you’re stuck with.

I’m not a shrink. I’m not even a mental health professional. However, what I’m suggesting here is just common sense. Wouldn’t it make sense to love the only person you’re stuck with 24/7, rather than to hate them? Sure, it would.

Therefore, it’s so important that you don’t let bullies convince you to hate yourself. Never let someone else use you as their personal toxic waste dump. Never allow yourself to be a dumping ground for their baggage.

I won’t kid you here. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. It’s going to take a lot of inner work and you will have to invest a lot of time and energy at first.

Moreover, there will be times when your mind will fight against you. You fall short but get back up and keep at it! It will be so worth it in the end. Know that YOU are worth it!

Again, learn to love the one person you’re stuck with. Love the one person you can never, even for a second, get away from- yourself!

Therefore, love the person you’re stuck with!

Benefits of Self-Love:

Self-love isn’t selfish.

 Here is the difference between self-love and selfishness.

Self-love is caring for yourself without taking advantage of other people. Selfishness, on the other hand, involves taking something from others without caring about them.

Therefore, self-love isn’t selfish, it’s essential! It’s a must for your health. And when you suffer bullying, it’s a brave act of rebellion. In fact, it’s a revolutionary act when bullies have turned everyone against you.

If you don’t love yourself no matter your circumstances, it can have negative consequences later. So, it’s so important that you do! And do it no matter how others feel about it.

Granted, this is easier said than done, especially when you’re a target of relentless bullying. It takes a conscious effort and a lot of work to keep their garbage from affecting your mental health. But realize that you’re worth the investment. I promise you.

And if it gets overwhelming, there’s nothing wrong with seeking therapy. We all need a little help sometimes. Also, there’s nothing wrong with leaving the environment either. Do whatever you must do to preserve your peace.

If you choose the first option, know that it doesn’t mean you’re “mentally imbalanced.” Therefore, realize that ignorant people tell you these things to make you seem that way. Why? Because it helps them to distract others from their own mental and emotional issues.

If you choose the latter, know that you’re not running away. You’re removing yourself from a bad place that’s no good for you. That’s not being chicken or wimping out. It’s called self-care.

And naturally, when you love someone, you’ll protect and take care of them. Therefore, take care of yourself.

What are the benefits of self-Love?

1. You treat your mind and body better.

In other words, you treat them with care and respect. You feed your body what it needs. You minimize the junk food in your diet. Moreover, you exercise to make your body stronger.

Also, you go on nature walks and spend time outside rather than shutting yourself inside the house all day. There’s nothing like being outdoors and enjoying some sunlight and a cool breeze. You’d be surprised at how much better it makes you feel.

It means feeding your mind as well- reading personal development books (or a good mystery novel), meditating, and praying.

Most importantly, it means you stop criticizing yourself and listening to that toxic voice that says you’re not good enough. You might not completely get rid of your inner critic, but you won’t give it nearly as much airtime as you once did.

So, fall in love with yourself and break up with the voices that tell you that you’re not worthy. Banish them forever because those voices are nasty.

They’re old, stale, and they stink like yesterday’s trash! Moreover, they’ve been telling you the same worn out lies for years. You’d think we’d get bored hearing the same old crap from them after so long.

Therefore, instead of listening to the voice of that nasty inner bully, replace it with a voice of love. Anything else is just noise pollution!

This is how you prioritize your physical and mental well-being.

2. You don’t worry about mistakes.

When you love yourself fully and completely, you allow yourself to make mistakes and use them to learn and grow.

3. Benefits of Self-Love:

You only apologize when it’s necessary.

In other words, you don’t give apologies for things that don’t warrant them. No. You only allow yourself to apologize when appropriate.

Put simpler, you won’t be sorry for being yourself, nor the way you feel. And, anyone who tells you otherwise, you’ll only blow them off with a “whatever” and keep it moving.

4. You embrace your flaws.

You’ll embrace the imperfections you cannot change and improve on the ones you can.

5. You only accept healthy relationships.

You give your time and energy to only people who truly love you and want best for  you. Why? Because you realize that they are the only people who matter.

Moreover, you’ll feel more worthy of healthier people and let go of the people who use, abuse, and neglect you.

6. You believe in yourself.

You’re a go-getter and begin going after your dreams. Why? Because you truly believe you can achieve them. Moreover, you believe you’re worthy of success and that nothing short of an act of God can stop you.

7. Benefits of Self-Love:

Toxic people will disappear from your life.

In other words, toxic people will avoid you like the plague. Why? Because they won’t want to mess with you. On the other hand, healthy people will be drawn to you like a magnet.

Why? Because the high quality people will sense the love within you and treat you with love and respect. Even your finances and lifestyle will go up!

8. You’re open to learning new things.

You’ll invite positive changes by learning, improving, and growing. You won’t change who you are but only become a better version of yourself. Moreover, you’ll enjoy your journey to self-betterment.

9. You stop settling for crappy treatment.

Understand that we accept what we think we deserve out of life. If you loathe yourself, you’ll accept drama in your life and toxic relationships. Therefore, you’ll stay in environments that aren’t good for you.

You’ll allow people to wipe their feet all over you and you’ll lose sight of your goals and dreams. In short, you’ll settle for less. As a result, you’ll get even less than what you settle for.

On the other hand, once you begin loving yourself, you stop settling for shoddy treatment. Moreover, you distance yourself from people who mean you no good.

In getting rid of toxic people, you stop treating yourself badly.

10. Benefits of Self-love:

You do the things that make you feel alive.

For example, you might go for a walk on a warm spring morning. Maybe you love sitting in your backyard swing and watching the sunrise. Or, you might spend the day lying on the beach.

Also, you may have projects you enjoy, like writing or playing music. Whatever makes you feel good, do it! Do everything that feeds your heart and soul!

11. You look for the glimmers.

Glimmers are the opposite of triggers. They’re those tiny, beautiful, but fleeting moments that make you feel safe, happy and calm. Glimmers instantly fill you with hope! And the best part is that they’re so easy to find. They’re everywhere!

Therefore, if you look for the glimmers, you’ll find more and more of them. For example, watching a shooting star can be a glimmer. A cool breeze on a warm spring day is a glimmer.

Other things like seeing fireflies at night or watching the leaves change colors during Autumn are glimmers. Therefore, learn to look for the glimmers in life and you’ll soon see them all the time!

And, believe it or not, they can help you heal from bullying and other traumas. So, catch every glimmer you possible can!

12. You reduce depression and anxiety.

Self-love automatically reduces depression and anxiety. Why? Because, when you love yourself, you don’t concern yourself with other people’s opinions. Put another way, you could care less what people think of you, good or bad.

But wait! Here’s another thing! You don’t worry as much about outcomes either. You’re more willing to go with the flow and let the chips fall where they may.

Therefore, you’re much calmer and more relaxed.

13. Benefits of Self-Love:

You Improve Your Self-Esteem.

Self-love helps you feel confident and to have more respect for yourself. And when you’re confident, you’re more likely to meet new people and make friends.

Moreover, self-love is a good motivator. It motivates you to do the work required to improve yourself and your situation.

Self-love can bring you so many benefits. So, why not begin practicing it today?

This post was all about the benefits of self-love to motivate you to begin loving yourself so that you can cash in on those benefits!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

4. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

5. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

benefits of self-respect in relationships

Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well

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‘Want to know all the benefits of self-respect? Here are eighteen life-changing things that happen when you begin treating yourself well.

benefits of self-respect

Having self-respect can gain you so many advantages in life. It allows you to create the life you want because you know you deserve it. Moreover, others can sense when you have respect for yourself. Therefore, they’re more likely to treat you better.

In this post, you will learn all about the benefits of self-respect and how it can change your life for the better.

Once you learn all these amazing advantages, it will prompt you to treat yourself better and be more choosy of the people you let in your life.

This post is all about the benefits of self-respect and what you must do to treat yourself better.

So, what are the benefits of self-respect?

Self-respect or self-worth is acknowledgement of your own value. In other words, you know your worth and the good you bring to this world and to the people around you.

Moreover, you aren’t afraid to assert your value, your interests, and your right to exist. This means that you also stand up for your right not to be harmed. You know with every fiber of your being that you have dignity and are just as good as the next person.

We show that we have self-respect by what we put up with from others. Therefore, if you put up with shabby treatment from others, you have less or no self-respect. Other people will notice and they’ll begin walking all over you.

On the other hand, if you’re willing to stand up to those who try to mistreat you and set boundaries, than you have lots of it and others will also take notice and they’re likely to treat you well.

You understand that you teach others how to treat you. Therefore, you don’t take any crap from anyone because you believe you deserve better.

And, it is because of this belief that you won’t accept bad treatment from anyone and aren’t afraid to cut a few people out of your life if they keep it up.

This means you have self-respect. Therefore, when you have it, you reap the following benefits.

1. You Have Confidence.

You’re not afraid to live life on your terms and you don’t settle for less than what you want. You have confidence in yourself and in your abilities.

Moreover, you have confidence in God and know that he put you here for a great purpose!

2. Benefits of Self-Respect:

You have Independence.

You do your own thing and aren’t the least bit concerned with how people think about it. Also, you make your own choices and trust those decisions!

You live your life fearlessly and on your own terms! Now that’s what you call freedom!

3. You have Healthy Self-esteem.

You know you’re not perfect, but neither is anyone else. Therefore, you’re completely okay with all your flaws, shortcomings and imperfections.

Moreover, you hold yourself in high regard and refuse to let anyone chip away at your self-esteem. You love yourself. Therefore, you know who you are and what you deserve.

4. You enjoy Better Relationships.

Because you respect yourself, others also respect you. Because you have boundaries, others are least likely to cross them. Therefore, you have better relationships with others.

5. You’re Not afraid to set Goals.

You set goals because you believe in yourself and know that you can accomplish them. Moreover, you realize that the going may get tough and you may have to trudge through a few valleys.

However, you know your own strength. You’re tenacious. In other words, no matter how rough things get, you’ll refuse to give up and that you’ll reach those goals eventually.

6. You set boundaries without fear or guilt.

When some bully tries to cross a boundary, you’re real quick to tell them to back up. You refuse to accept vile treatment from others.

Gaslighting and manipulation will not work on you because you see them as they happen. Therefore, you’re able to shut them down before they have any effect on you.

As a result, bad people will think twice before crossing you and they’ll go find another victim. Even better, others will take notice of it and they won’t try any funny business either.

7. Benefits of Self-Respect:

You live a Healthier Lifestyle.

When you have self-respect, you also have respect for your body. Therefore, you feed it healthy foods rather than junk that will only make you sick and shorten your life.

Moreover, you exercise regularly and keep in shape.

8. You aren’t afraid to take risks.

When you want something, you’re willing to step out of your comfort zone to get it. In other words, you’re willing to face rejection in sales. However, that won’t stop  you.

You’ll only move onto the next potential buyer until you make the sale.

9. Benefits of Self-Respect:

You’re more likely to have success at work.

Because you respect yourself, your bosses and coworkers are also more likely to respect you. Also, they’ll more likely give you opportunities for promotion and bonuses.

10. You don’t settle for less than what you want.

You know what you want and what you deserve. Therefore, you won’t take anything less.

It may take a while, but you will eventually get the thing you want because you won’t give up on it. You believe you can get it. Therefore, you go for the prize!

11. Benefits of Self-Respect:

You don’t allow Yourself to get sucked into drama.

Respecting yourself means protecting your peace from those who wish to disrupt it. So, when some troublemaker starts any drama with you, you won’t have time for it.

Therefore, you’ll only either quietly dismiss them or you’ll tell them to F all the way off and keep it moving.

12. You’re selective of the people in your life.

You only want positive people in your life. In other words, you only want to be around those who lift you up and bring positive vibes.

Moreover, you aren’t afraid to kick out the Negative Nancys and Debbie Downers who only drag you down.

You understand that life’s too short to deal with drama. Therefore, you aren’t afraid to eradicate it from your life.

13. Benefits of Self-Respect:

You say no without apology.

You have boundaries and you know that saying no is how you maintain those boundaries. Therefore, you say it without guilt or apology. Why?

Because you understand that no is the most powerful word in the English language. It’s how you live your life on your terms.

Moreover, you understand that holding your boundaries is an ongoing and never-ending thing.

14. You know who you are and you’re okay with it.

In other words, you allow yourself to make mistakes and you don’t toil over them. You view mistakes as the best teachers and understand that they’re how you learn powerful lessons.

Moreover, you don’t allow anyone else to define you. In other words, if bullies and abusers try to convince you that you’re a nobody, you understand that they can’t possibly know you better than you do.

Therefore, you dismiss their drivel and keep feeling good about yourself.

15. You believe in yourself.

You know in your heart that you have the ability to make shit happen. Therefore, you work hard to achieve your goals and dreams without letting any roadblock or setback stop you.

And you don’t stop until you attain those goals and dreams.

16. Benefits of Self-Respect:

You’re happy and at peace.

Best of all, you’re happy and at peace with yourself. Though you may have some days when you may feel a little down, in general, you’re a happy person. Why?

Because you know that although things may look bleak today, things will be much better tomorrow. Therefore, you have hope for better things to come. And you strongly believe that life will work itself out.

17. You don’t need anyone’s approval.

You’re perfectly fine with the person you are and don’t need validation from anyone else. You know that your own approval is all you need besides that of those who love you.

Moreover, you understand that not everyone will like you and you’re okay with it because there are people that you can’t necessarily care for either.

In other words, you know that life doesn’t depend on who does or does not like you. You have enemies as everyone does and you’re okay with it. Why?

Because you understand that enemies can be a reflection of your virtues and not your shortcomings.

18. You have the ability to cope.

You realize that things go wrong and that it’s all a part of life. Therefore, you have the ability to cope with it and even accept it when adverse things happen. You respect yourself enough to keep in mind that things do eventually get better.

This post was all about the benefits of self-respect and what you can do to treat yourself well and grab some of those advantages.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

5. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

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‘Want to know all about standing up to bullies and what happens when you do? Here’s how bullies react when you stand up to them and why you should feel good about it.

standing up to bullies

In movies and television, we see scenarios where targets stand up to bullies and automatically either get left alone or become friends with their former tormentors. However, in most cases, this is not reality. Remember that bullies are relentless.

However, you should feel good about it because, when they act out, your bullies are only revealing themselves.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about standing up to bullies and how they react when you finally do. Moreover, you will learn why you should welcome their reactions and how those reactions expose bullies for who they are.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to speak out confidently and handle it properly when your bullies react.

This post is all about standing up to bullies and everything that comes with it.

Standing up to Bullies

You may be afraid to stand up to your bullies and I understand completely. Anytime you stand up to bullies, you’re taking a risk. However, it’s often worth the risk and you end up thanking yourself later.

Just the same, you need to know what to expect once you’ve had enough and decide to take a stand.

If people bully you left and right, you must realize that bullies will not relinquish their power so easily. In other words, they will not be good sports and hand your human rights back to you.

Neither will they bow out of your life gracefully. Bullies have an insatiable need to wield power over you. Why? Because, without that power, they feel lost.

Realize that bullies have no redeemable qualities and they’re losers in life. And since they can’t get power by their own merit, the only way left to get it is by ruining someone else’s life.

Here are the tactics bullies use when you stand up for yourself:

Make no mistake about it. When you kick unsavory people out of your life, they will do the following:

1. They will gaslight you

Bullies will add their spin to it. In other words, bullies will try to convince you that you are at fault or that the abuse is your imagination. Bullies are masters at this, especially female bullies who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.

They might accuse you of being too sensitive. Moreover, bullies may tell you, “I didn’t say it,” or “I didn’t do that.”

Understand that all this is designed to make you question yourself and feel like the villain. Therefore, learn how to recognize gaslighting when you hear it and protect your mind.

2. Standing up to Bullies:

They will lay guilt trips

In other words, your bullies might bring up a past favor they did for you. They may say, “after all I’ve done for you, this is how you thank me?”

Your bullies may not have done anything for you. Moreover, if they did, they only did it for obligation points they can use later.

3. They may recruit followers and start a smear campaign

Bullies are experts at this. By recruiting followers to spread rumors and lies, your bullies use numbers to discredit you. Why? Because the more people they get to say bad things about you, the more likely stranger are to believe them.

They will also try to turn your friends against you. I say this from first-hand experience. Bullies did the same to me many times.

Moreover, it always came as retaliation for my having the gall to stand up to them and assert my rights to defend myself.

Therefore, expect your bullies to malign you to others. And know that they’re only retaliating by trying to destroy your good name and credibility.

4. They will turn your friends against you

Females, although becoming more and more physically violent with time, commit much of their bullying by Dividing and Conquering. In other words, they attack your relationships. And they do this to isolate you by turning everyone against you.

There’s another objective to this as well. Once bullies turn all your friends against you, then, they can gather intimidate details about your life and weaponize them.

Think about it. Your friends likely know your deepest, darkest secrets. They would be the ones to know the most intimate details about your life. Friends are a GOLDMINE of information to bullies.

5. Standing Up to Bullies:

They will project their shortcomings onto you

Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to project them onto you?

In other words, your bullies accuse you of the same rotten things they themselves are doing.

6. They will distract others’ attention away from their flaws by pointing out yours

What better way is there to hide their own shortcomings than putting the spotlight on yours? It shouldn’t be so easy but it is!

“Don’t look over here. Look over there!” or “Don’t look at me. Look at them!”

7. They will use Physical Violence.

If none of the previous six tactics work. They will use physical violence. However, they only use this as a last resort because bodily harm is the most detectable form of bullying.

Let’s break it down some more here.

If bullies can’t control you, they will control how others see you.

In other words, if your bullies can no longer have power over you, they will start smear campaigns and try to turn others against you. Understand that they do this to isolate you from everyone.

Bullies use these strategies to cover their backsides. Moreover, they do it to punish you for daring to grow a spine and defend yourself. And thirdly, they do it to close you off from any possible help or protection.

Once the bullies isolate you, they then move in for the kill. Now, they can do whatever they want to you. Moreover, they can do it freely and with impunity.

Why? Because if everyone is against you, the least likely they are to report the bullies or stop them from abusing you.

Remember, your bullies have succeeded in turning people against you. Now, no one can stand you. Therefore, in the minds of others, you deserve the abuse. You’ve got it coming and you’ve had it coming!

Therefore, hell will freeze over before anyone lifts a finger to help you. And this is exactly the outcome your bullies have been counting on.

Figuratively, Your bullies want to hold you hostage.

And they will resort to any means necessary to keep you on emotional lock down. This is how they keep you in your place.

Standing Up to Bullies:

Physical violence is usually a last ditch effort at power and control.

Sometimes, exclusion, subtle digs, verbal assaults, gaslighting and smear campaigns fail to do the job. Or, they may lose their effectiveness and no longer have the impact your bullies intended for them to have.

Therefore, your bullies will then resort to physical violence. The physical violence will go one of two ways:

  • Bullies will commit the bodily harm themselves.
  • They will send someone else to do their savagery for them.

This does not mean that you should not stand up for yourself because you should. However, when you do, be prepared. The torment will get worse before it gets better.

So, be strong. Be brave and know that none of it is your fault.

The Power Dynamic Shifts In Your Favor the Moment You Stand Up to Your Bullies

Anytime you stand up to a bully, you instantly change the power dynamic. In other words, you immediately take your personal power back. At the same time, you automatically put the bully in a position of weakness and inferiority.

In simplest terms, you flip the script and take the position of power over the bully. This is why bullies cannot handle it when you stand up to them. Because they feel that they must always be in the position of power.

Standing up to Bullies:

Bullies can’t handle being stood up to by those they deem beneath them.

Bullies get angry enough when anyone stands up to them. However, if that person happens to be someone they deem inferior and who they’ve grown accustomed to abusing, this is when they really lose their marbles!

This is because you’re most likely on the bottom of the pecking order. And when you finally buck up and grow a backbone, you figuratively trade places with the bullies.

Therefore, you automatically put them on the bottom of the pecking order, if only for that moment. This is what the bullies can’t handle and it’s why they explode with rage.

Their unspoken message is:

  • “How dare you!”
  • “Who are you to stand up to me!”
  • “You’re supposed to be under me and here you are talking and acting like you’re OVER me!”
  • “The nerve!”
  • Who do you think you are!”

Bullies rely on force to get what they want from you.

In other words, they depend on fear, overwhelming strength, and coercion. Bullies have been steamrolling people and getting what they want from them for a long time. In fact, they’ve been doing it for so long that they’ve become arrogant and self-satisfied.

Therefore, when you’ve finally had enough of their gas and put your foot down, you can bet that it’s going to throw them off. And do you know what else it’s going to do?

It’s going to blast a huge hole in their ego. Moreover, it’ll shock the bejeebers out of them. Then the bullies will become highly PO’ed. In fact, they’ll become so angry that they’ll more than likely go from zero to one hundred in a matter of seconds.

If the bully is a person with narcissism (and most bullies are), they will go into narc*ssistic rage. And trust me, you don’t want to be anywhere around when this happens.

Standing up to Bullies:

Stand your ground but be prepared for anything.

It’s best to be prepared. Expect the unexpected.

When you finally grow a spine, expect your bullies to do anything to break it. Therefore, they escalate the bullying when you stop taking their crap.

Bullies have very delicate egos. Moreover, bullying always involves ego. So, any time you tell them to go kick rocks, you undermine their perceived superiority. Even worse, you put them into an inferior position and they know it.

In other words, bullies are very prideful and their pride takes a huge blow anytime you talk back or fight back. And most bullies would rather die than to be made inferior, especially to a little peon like you.

Therefore, be prepared for a battle because your bullies will become vindictive. They’ll seek revenge and they won’t stop coming after you until they get it.

It doesn’t matter if your bullies were the ones who started it because, to them, it doesn’t matter who’s right or wrong.

In other words,  don’t care if they’re the ones who’ve mistreated you all these years. Furthermore, they don’t care that you only want to be left alone.

The only thing they are thinking at this moment is that you challenged them. You are a target and nothing more. In other words, you are beneath them. And you had the gall to undermine their (perceived) authority and superiority.

The nerve! The audacity! The chutzpah!

Keep Standing Up for yourself, no matter what!

In other words, if your bullies keep coming for you, you mustn’t back down. Unless they have a deadly weapon, keep fighting and fighting hard.

Know that you deserve to be safe and to live in peace. And when bullies try to disrupt your peace, you have every right to stand up to them and defend yourself. Because if you don’t take care of yourself, no one else will.

Don’t wait for someone to come rescue you because, chances are, it won’t happen. It’s up to you to take a stand. Your life is your responsibility. That means that standing up to bullies is your responsibility.

You can do it! I believe in you!

This post is all about standing up to bullies, what to expect when you stand up to them, and why you should continue to stand firm no matter what.

1. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

2. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

what happens when you set boundaries in a relationship

What Happens When You Set Boundaries: 7 Amazing Outcomes

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‘Want to know what happens when you set boundaries? The good and the bad? Here are several things that come about when you finally stand up for yourself. Also, you’ll feel better knowing that the good vastly outweighs the bad!

what happens when you set boundaries

Setting boundaries is always good because it promotes respect among people and makes for a polite society where peace and harmony can exist.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what happens when you set boundaries. Moreover, you will learn the good and the bad tasting (but good for you) results.

Once you learn all about this useful and important information, you will feel more compelled to set boundaries and take back your right to live in peace.

This post is all about what happens when you set boundaries so that you can gather the courage to establish your own boundaries and take back your peace.

What happens when you set boundaries?

When you establish boundaries, you build an invisible fortress around yourself that protects you from abuse.  But first, lets discuss the good results.

1. You get to know yourself better.

When you set boundaries, you become much clearer on what you will and will not tolerate. Moreover, you become more familiar with your likes and dislikes. Thus, you get to know yourself better.

2. Your self-esteem will improve drastically

Once you begin setting boundaries, you’ll feel as if you accomplished a huge feat. Because, you will have!

Anytime you set boundaries after you’ve spent so much time not having any, you discover that you’ve made a huge step in taking back your autonomy!

Therefore, your self-esteem will get a huge boost and you’ll feel so much better about yourself. The people who care for you will say, “Look at you! You did it!”

You finally got sick of other people’s bullshit and put your foot down! Moreover, you stood up for yourself and told a few creeps where they could stick it!

That would sure make me proud of myself! And it will you too!

3. Toxic people will slowly disappear from your life.

Bullies and other such losers may challenge your boundaries at first. However, if you continue to stick to your guns and hold firm, they will, over time, give up and move on to an easier target.

Therefore, you’ll take back your peace and live a much happier life!

4. What happens when you set boundaries?

Your overall mental health will improve.

This is because, in setting boundaries, you protect your overall mental health. Therefore, the more you do this, the better for your psychological well-being.

Moreover, your mind will continue to improve over time the longer you continue to keep those boundaries in place.

5. You’ll be more selective in who you allow in your life

In other words, you’ll keep the bullies and abusers out of your life and only invite people who are positive and uplifting. Even better, you’ll do this without apology nor guilt because you’ll know without a doubt that you deserve better.

Now, before we go on, I realize that, in today’s society, people preach and squawk about “inclusion.” However, when people are bullying and abusing you, inclusion shouldn’t even come into it!

And this goes no matter what race, gender, religion, or orientation you or your bully or abuser may claim.

Abuse is abuse no matter who it comes from or who it’s aimed at. Therefore, you have every right to exclude from your life anyone who treats you like a doormat. You have a duty to yourself to protect your peace at all costs!

6. You’ll have more time for your own priorities.

In other words, you’ll make time for your own needs because you won’t allow users to take up so much of your time with their problems. Therefore, you’ll have more time for self-care and to pursue your own goals, priorities, and interests.

7. What happens when you set boundaries? You’ll be more determined not to go back to BS.

Once you taste a life free of bullying and abuse, you’ll be even more determined never to go back to being a doormat. Therefore, you’ll be more compelled to keep your boundaries in place and not allow anyone to stick so much as a toe over them.

You’ve been on both sides of the fence. In other words, you know what it’s like to have people shit on you every chance they get.

On the other hand, you’ve also discovered what it’s like to be treated well. Therefore, you’ll choose the side of greener pastures and never go back to the old life.

What Happens When You Set Boundaries?

6 Tactics Toxic People Use When You Finally establish limits

In movies and television, victims can stand up to bullies and automatically either get left alone or become friends with their former tormentors. However, this is not reality in most cases.

However, don’t let that stop you. Think of it like this. When you’re sick, you must take medicine. The medicine may taste downright disgusting. However, you still must take it if you want to get well and return to optimal health.

It’s the same with setting boundaries. You may endure a lot of discomfort at first. However, you’ll thank yourself later!

With that said, you must realize that bullies and abusers will not relinquish their power so easily. In other words, they will not be good sports and hand your human rights back over to you, nor will they bow out of your life gracefully.

Remember that human predators have an insatiable need to wield power over others, and without that power, they feel lost.

Why? Because bullies have no redeemable qualities and they’re losers in life. Also, since they can’t get power by their own merit, the only way to get it is by ruining someone else’s life.

Make no mistake about it. Once you begin setting boundaries, they will do the following:

1. What Happens When You Set Boundaries?

Bullies and toxic people will gaslight you.

They’ll try to convince you that you’re in the wrong or that you’re becoming unhinged. Understand that they do this to make you doubt yourself and keep allowing them to abuse you.

They may tell you that you’re imagining things or that you’re just too sensitive.

Therefore, don’t fall for this bullshit! Don’t allow them to add their spin to make you feel like the bad guy. Know that you’re in the right and continue to stand firm.

2. They will lay guilt trips.

And they’ll do it by trying to convince you that you’re selfish or self-centered for not allowing them to mistreat you. Therefore, understand that bullies are masters at this, especially female bullies who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.

Stick to your guns, no matter what they say!

3. They may recruit followers and start a smear campaign.

Human predators may recruit followers to spread rumors and lies about you. These people will malign you to others to destroy your good name and credibility.

Moreover, expect this to happen many times. Why? Because bullies and abusers are relentless. They don’t give up so easily.

They’re also vindictive. They will do these things out of retaliation for your having the gall to stand up to them and assert your rights.

But don’t give up! Keep your boundaries in place!

4. What Happens When You Set Boundaries?

Bullies and abusers will try to turn your friends against you.

Females, although becoming more and more physically violent with time, commit much of their bullying by dividing and conquering. In other words, they try to isolate you by attacking your relationships.

Think about it. Chances are that your friends know your deepest, darkest secrets. They would know the most intimate details about your life. Friends are a GOLDMINE of information to human predators.

Again, expect your bullies to do these types of things. Moreover, instead of caving in, let their antics prompt you to double down on your boundaries.

5. They will project their shortcomings onto you.

Bullies have flaws and their greatest fear is having them exposed. What better way to keep their imperfections hidden than to either project them onto you?

They will also do this for retaliation and to keep their power over you. Therefore, dig your heels even deeper and fight back twice as hard.

6. They will distract others’ attention away from their flaws by pointing out yours.

“Don’t look over here. Look over there!” Or, more appropriately, “Don’t look at me! Look at her!”

What better way is there to hide their own shortcomings than putting the spotlight on yours? It shouldn’t be so easy but it is!

However, be resilient and keep your boundaries in place. Because eventually, they’ll give up and move on to someone who’s easier to control.

Understand that it will get worse before it gets better. You will get a ton of push-back and resistance when you first begin setting boundaries.

However, continue to hold firm no matter how hard your predators may make life for you. And know that eventually, they’ll grow tired and move on.

This post was all about what happens when you set boundaries so that you can know what to expect and continue to hold firm with toughness and grit.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some 

2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

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Benefits of Setting Boundaries

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‘Want to know the benefits of setting boundaries? It just may surprise you. If you only knew what those advantages are, you’ll definitely be more motivated to establish limits with others

benefits of setting boundaries

When you set boundaries, you communicate to people what you will and will not tolerate from them. Also, you let them know what consequences they can expect if they violate those boundaries.

Anytime you establish boundaries, chance are that people will understand where your limits are and they’ll likely adapt their behavior. However, people who are human predators won’t acknowledge your boundaries and may even see them as a challenge.

In this post, you will learn all the benefits of setting boundaries. Also, you’ll learn how to deal with people who refuse to respect those limits.

Once you learn about all this essential life-tips, you will be more compelled to set boundaries without fear nor guilt. Moreover, you’ll be brave enough to stand up to those who cross the line.

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries and how to enforce those boundaries so that you can live a peaceful life without any disruptions.

The Benefits of Setting Boundaries

So, what are the benefits of setting boundaries?

1. You get to know yourself better.

In other words, you have a greater sense of identity. You won’t be afraid to be yourself.  Moreover, you’ll know who you are and what you want. And there’s so much more that comes with it.

You get to know your likes and dislikes and, more importantly, the things you will and will not tolerate.

When you finally come to know yourself, the level of self-acceptance will be off the charts! You’ll learn to embrace your own thoughts, beliefs and convictions.

In that, you realize that everyone is different and no two people are the same. Therefore, you give yourself permission to also be different. Moreover, you’ll be okay with making mistakes. Let’s face it, we all make those!

This is such sweet freedom!

2. You begin loving yourself more.

The more you love yourself, the least likely you are to put up with anyone’s BS. Moreover, you’ll least likely be afraid to go after what you want.

This could be a great paying job or better relationships.

Also, you’ll be less likely to worry about what others think of you. Why? Because you’ll know that you’re a great person no matter what anyone else says.

Loving yourself means treating yourself well. And how you treat yourself defends on how you let others treat you. Boundaries (or lack of) are the way you teach others how to treat you.

Moreover, they signal to others whether or not you respect yourself. And if you don’t give yourself respect, chances are that no one else will either. Instead, they’ll only use you as a doormat.

Therefore, once you begin setting boundaries, you’ll learn to love and respect yourself more. As a result, others may adjust their attitudes and behavior and begin giving you respect.

Do you know what the best part is? You’ll be willing to drop anyone who sticks so much as a toe over your boundaries. And you’ll do it without guilt.

Therefore, you’ll earn respect not only from yourself but others as well.

3. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You Skyrocket your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, you’ll like yourself. You’ll also have a better attitude about life and the world around you. Also, self-doubt won’t even be an issue. Instead, you’ll trust yourself to make the right life-choices.

You’ll be confident in your abilities and in your effect on others. In turn, those around you will be more confident in you. The best part is that , you’ll be okay with your flaws and limitations. Therefore, others most likely won’t pay attention to them either.

Moreover, you’ll believe in yourself and know without a doubt that you can get to anywhere you want to go. And if anyone tries to tell you that you can’t do something, you’ll be that much more determined to get it done!

You won’t allow bullies to plant seeds of doubt in your mind.

Instead, you’ll only deep your heels in deeper and double down on your efforts to complete your goals. You’ll use your bullies, haters and naysayers as your rocket fuel! And you’ll put in the work and overcome the obstacles to attain that goal.

When you raise your self-esteem, you won’t fear taking on new challenges and trying new things. In fact, you will be excited to do so!

And lastly, you will know your worth and have a deeper sense of security!

4. You’ll Reduce your stress levels.

Life won’t stress you out as much because you’ll be more relaxed. In other words, you won’t let life’s little annoyances get to you. As a result, you’ll be more successful at solving problems.

In other words, you’ll be able to work through adversity and stare trouble in the face. You’ll even have patience because you’ll be confident that everything will work out eventually.

Social anxiety will be a thing of the past because you will be comfortable in your own skin. Again, this comes from not caring what others think of you.

5. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll increase your productivity.

Your productivity will automatically rise because you’ll be able to make time to work on your own goals. You’ll use that time wisely, making every second count.

At the same time, you’ll allow yourself rest periods and avoid overworking yourself. And you’ll put your priorities first, then take care of others.

6. You’ll value your solitude a lot more.

In other words, you won’t be afraid to be alone. Why? Because you’ll understand that being alone doesn’t be being lonely. Instead, you’ll value solitude because you’ll be able to focus on your tasks and get more done.

7. You’ll be able to focus more on your goals.

Again, when you set boundaries, you will accomplish more because you’ll have higher mental focus.

8. You’ll enjoy better relationships.

Why? Because because others will more likely respect your boundaries. Moreover, you won’t be afraid to get rid of those who don’t.

Therefore, you’ll have less bullies, abusers, and users in your life.

And the best part is that you’ll attract even more healthy people into your life. Remember that like attracts like.

9. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You’ll keep your circle small.

In other words, you’ll be satisfied with only a handful of friends. Popularity will no longer matter to you.

To you, quality will matter more than quantity. Therefore, you’ll enjoy relationships that are much more rewarding!

10. You’ll take care of your health and hygiene.

You’ll make it a point to shower or bathe regularly. Moreover, you’ll eat well and make sure to exercise to maintain your strength and endurance.

You’ll also get plenty of rest. You’ll be sure to dress your best and look your best. Why? Because when you look good, you feel good!

You’ll also give yourself permission to take breaks from tasks if you need to.

11. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You won’t be afraid to enforce those boundaries.

Setting personal boundaries is one thing, but enforcing them is another.

Enforcing personal boundaries is much riskier than setting them. This is because, when you set boundaries, you’re only letting people know what they are. Therefore, the only risk to you is of someone challenging those boundaries.

On the other hand, enforcing your boundaries means that you impose consequences to anyone arrogant enough to cross them. Therefore, you understand that once a bully or abuser steps over your boundaries, then, it’s time to enforce them.

And you’re not afraid to do that. In fact, you’re willing to take that risk to protect your peace of mind.

When you do, no amount of guilt trips or manipulation will sway you. You warned them, they didn’t believe you, and you realize that the only way they’ll take you seriously is to make believers out of them.

Therefore, you’ll do what you have to do to let the creeps know that you mean business. You’ll be willing to impose consequences, whether through fisticuffs or sending their butts to the door and telling them never to come back.

12. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll have improved mental and emotional health.

Because you enjoy healthier relationships with people who love and respect you and you score accomplishment after accomplishment, your emotional and mental health will drastically improve!

Put all these things together and your life can only improve!

In conclusion

Setting boundaries is important for a happy and peaceful life. Therefore, you must not be afraid to keep the bullies and jerks out. Remember that you have one life to live and it’s way too short. Therefore, love yourself enough to do what you must do to protect your peace.

Stop allowing yourself to be a dumping ground for other people’s problems. Take care of yourself. Focus on your goals and priorities. And more importantly, set boundaries and reap the rewards that come afterward!

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries to motivate you to set your own and take your life back.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

4. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

5. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

when you start seeing your worth as a human being

When You Start Seeing Your Worth,17 Amazing Changes Happen.

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‘Want to know all the amazing things that happen in your life when you start seeing your worth? Here are all the life changes you need to know.

when you start seeing your worth

Once you realize your worth, magical things begin to happen in your life. Amazing things you never thought possible!

In this post, you will learn all the awesome benefits that come when you start seeing your worth.

After you learn all these advantages, you will begin your journey to discovering just how much you’re loved and that you have a good purpose for being here.

This post is all about the amazing benefits you’ll see when you start seeing your worth so that you’ll be inclined to do the inner work and value yourself as a human being.

When You Start Seeing Your Worth

So, what happens when you start seeing your worth?

1. You refuse to have anything more to do with people who don’t.

 Sadly, when you’ve suffered bullying, your self-esteem has taken a beating. Therefore, it’s too easy to feel you must cling to people who could care less about you.

However, once you begin seeing your worth, you begin weeding out all those who use and abuse you. You refuse to say around people who only tolerate you. This is because you value your time and some people aren’t worth one second of it!

Therefore, you refuse to make time for those who talk down to you or use you.

By kicking out the losers, you make room for better people to come into your life. In short, you start placing less value on the quantity of friends and focus more on quality of friends.

Therefore, you finally attract friendships that are fulfilling.

2. You stop settling for less than what you know you deserve.

In other words, you raise your standards.  Not only are you selective of the people who come into your life. You begin applying for better jobs, and buying products of higher quality.

Moreover and most importantly, you command better service and better treatment. Therefore, you attract healthier people.

You accept nothing less than the best because you know you’re worth it!

3. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re no longer afraid to be alone.

You come to a place where you’d rather fly solo than put up with shoddy treatment. Moreover, you actually like being alone and prioritize your “me time” to relax and recharge.

Here’s another thing. You don’t toil over being single. You’re just as happy without a mate as you would be with one. Therefore, you’re willing enjoy your singleness until the right person comes along.

And when you get to where you enjoy your solitude, that’s when you know you’ve grown!

4. You begin loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to walk away from toxic people.

In other words, you’re no longer afraid to let go of fake friends and posers. And this goes even if a few of them happen to be those you love. And when you do let them go, you do it without concern over the outcome.

Moreover, you drop these people without guilt. Why? Because you know that it pays to be nit-picky of those you allow into your life.

5. You no longer give a damn what others think or say of you.

In other words, you’re not the least bit concerned with opinions. In fact, you actually embrace any dislike a few people have for you. Why? Because those people will no longer matter to you.

When you don’t care what other people think, you’re not afraid to put yourself and your needs first. Why? Because you realize that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Therefore, you don’t feel guilty because you know that you must take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

6. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re no longer afraid to set boundaries.

This means that you have the guts to say “no” to things you don’t want. And when you say it, you mean it.

You’re also not afraid to stand up to people who cross the line with you. In fact, you’re willing to put on your bitch-face when the situation calls for it.

You don’t owe anyone a damn thing. You realize that respect is a two-way street. Therefore, you live by the mantra that others aren’t entitled to your respect. They must earn it!

7. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You give yourself permission to make mistakes.

Why? Because you know that mistakes are your best teachers. Therefore, you’re willing to learn from them. You also realize that no one is perfect. And that’s it’s okay.

8. You’re comfortable in your own skin.

In other words, you embrace the good, the bad, and downright ugly parts of yourself. You continue to feel beautiful whether you’re dressed in an evening gown or in your tee shirt, jeans and sneakers.

9. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re willing to take risks.

Why? Because you’re not afraid to fail. You know that if you do, you can always try and try again. Also, you know that if you try for long enough, you’ll eventually succeed.

So, you don’t quit. You keep going.

10. You look on the bright side.

In other words, you try to see the positive side to bad things that may happen. You may fail at doing this from time to time. However, you, at least search for the good side.

Therefore, your confidence doesn’t take such a big hit when things go wrong.

11. Your confidence goes through the roof.

In other words, you don’t fear rejection nor ridicule. Why? Because you realize that you’re just as good as the next person.

Again, you’re also not worried about who does or does not like you. Why? Because you like yourself, even if a few others don’t.

Therefore, you look forward to meeting new people.

12. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re a go-Getter.

In other words, if there’s something you want, you work hard for it. And you don’t stop until you get it.

If there are any roadblocks, you look for a detour. If you have setbacks, you keep working hard and power your way through it.

13. You work on your goals and follow your dreams.

If you have a dream, you aren’t afraid to strive for it, no matter how long it takes. Though haters and naysayers may try to discourage you, you pay them no mind.

Why? Because you see through the haters. You realize that their negative words only come from a place of jealousy. Moreover, you know that they’re only speaking from their own worldview.

Instead, you keep working toward your goals and dreams until you reach them.

14. You have nothing to prove to others.

You realize that the only person you must prove anything to is yourself. Therefore, you no longer feel the need to try to be someone you aren’t. Why? Because you know that your value is there even if others can’t see it.

you don’t waste time begging for approval. Moreover, you refuse to hang on to people who aren’t really your friends.

Therefore, you don’t waste your precious energy trying to impress those who aren’t worthy of you.

15. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You realize your potential.

You know who you are and what you’re made of. In other words, you are aware of your potential and the heights you can rise to.

You believe in yourself even if others don’t. And that’s what makes you so badass!

16. You’re not afraid to be yourself.

Therefore, you’re not afraid to be silly sometimes. In fact, you’re outgoing and others notice it.

Being fake takes too much work and you’re much too lazy to be fake. Therefore, you’re authentically you and it shows.

Moreover, you understand that fake personalities only draw in fake friends. you also know that to weed out toxic people requires you to be yourself.

In that, you keep the creeps at bay and make it a point to live life to the fullest.

17. When you start seeing your worth:

You give Yourself the best gift of all – Freedom!

Knowing your worth means self-acceptance. In other words, it means being okay with yourself, warts and all! Moreover, it’s giving yourself permission to feel those raw emotions any time some creep pisses you off.

Seeing your worth means freedom! The freedom to be human! To be you! And to celebrate yourself!

Therefore, get to know your worth and your life will change for the better!

This post is all about the life-changing things that begin to happen in your life when you start seeing your worth. Put simpler, it’s about the benefits you’ll reap once you do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

2. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

3. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

4. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

6. Disadvantages of Being a People Pleaser: 7 Consequences of Putting Yourself Last

Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

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It’s important that you never chase people who don’t see your worth. Would you like to know why? Here are the reasons never to try winning over those who don’t appreciate you and don’t want to be won over.

never chase people who don't see your worth

Many bullying victims are so anxious to make friends that they don’t set boundaries as to the way people should treat them. Therefore, as long as they don’t have to be by themselves, they overlook the shoddy ways their so-called friends treat them.

And once these fake friends are ready to discard them, these victims only beg them to stay friends with them or chase after them because they’re afraid of not having anyone at all.

Therefore, you will learn the reasons you never chase people who don’t see your worth.

Once you learn these reasons and that they’re good reasons, you will never again want to reduce yourself to chasing anyone who doesn’t value you.

This post is all about why you must never chase people who don’t see your worth. Also, it’s about what happens if you do and how you can easily let them go.

Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth

If you’re a victim of bullying, you probably fear being by yourself. Moreover, you chase friendships that aren’t true and get hurt many times over.

Why? Because it turns out that your pals are only tolerating you. And by the time you realize those people aren’t good for you, they’ve hurt, used, and humiliated you enough times that your self-esteem is damaged.

Here’s my advice to you if you feel lonely and desperate for friends:

Never chase anyone who does not see your worth! It is beneath you, and those who do not value you do not deserve the privilege of being in your life. Therefore, you need to cleanse your life of these toxic people.

I realize that if you are a target of bullying, your friendship options are minimal. Moreover, I know all too well of the humiliation of sitting alone at the lunch table at work or school.

It’s no fun watching everyone else getting to enjoy having friends around them while you’re isolated. Believe me, I get that.

However, if the options you do have are friends who only tolerate you. If they turn hot and cold, exclude you, or talk behind your back, then perhaps it’s time to re-evaluate those friendships.

Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth.

Do they accept you or do they only tolerate you?

There is a difference between someone who genuinely likes you and someone who is only tolerating you. Moreover, you always know when someone is only tolerating you because of how you feel when the person is around.

You can feel it in your gut. Something is off, but you can’t quite put your finger on it.

Also, you can hear the shortness and coldness in the tone of your so-called friend’s voices. You can see it in the way that they look at you (or refuse to look at you).

Your spidey senses are ringing because you can feel the cold vibes that they put out. There is nothing worse than realizing that someone you think highly of thinks very little of you.

It is the most uncomfortable and sickening feeling in the world. It is the equivalent of being kicked in the stomach!

However, I want you to know that you do not have to be around such poisonous people. Anyone who makes you feel uneasy does not deserve your friendship. It does not matter if they are rich, good-looking, popular, successful, cool, tough, or whatever.

If they make you feel bad about yourself, ditch them! Weed. Then. OUT! They are not worthy of being in your company. You are better off without them. Understand that this may mean staying to yourself for a time.

No one wants to be a loner. I understand it, and I sympathize with you. However, I believe that it’s much better to be alone than to crawl up behind anyone who does not see your value.

Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth.

You must gather the courage to walk away from such people.

It won’t be easy. Nothing worthwhile is. It takes courage to walk away from a person or people who take you for granted, especially when options for human connections are so few.

And I won’t lie to you, you may be by yourself for a while. It may get lonely, even sad, and depressing at times. However, if you stay strong and true to your own heart, you’ll only increase your value.

Believe that you deserve so much better!

This is where setting boundaries comes in.

The reason people walk over you is because you don’t set boundaries. However, if you lack boundaries, you only invite a lack of respect from others. And, believe me, people notice when you don’t have boundaries.

They’ll look at you and laugh, telling others that you’re a wimp, pushover, or a doormat, and that’s putting it mildly. Most will use more colorful language to describe your lack of a backbone.

Therefore, get some! It’s the only way you’ll stand up to bullies and ditch fake friends. Know that setting boundaries isn’t wrong. It’s all a part of self-care.

Understand that anyone who doesn’t see your worth isn’t worth your time nor consideration. So, don’t be afraid to eight-six the creeps. Know that you can do bad by yourself! And you’re better off that way, alone, rather than keeping company with a bunch of lowlife pieces of shit.

Here’s Why You Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth:

1. You’ll only reduce your value.

In other words, you only cheapen yourself. Moreover, others will look at you and only see “pathetic” written all over you. You’ll constantly seek approval and put on fronts just to be accepted.

However, when you do these self-depreciating things, you only get the opposite of what you want. Therefore, show yourself some respect and ditch anyone who doesn’t give you the love and respect you deserve.

Once you start standing up for yourself, you’ll increase your value and others just might treat you better. And, if they don’t, they have no business being in your life.

2. Moreover, it could to an imbalance of power in relationships. This can perpetuate bullying.

Friendship isn’t supposed to hurt. In other words, real friends love you for you and you’re always on equal footing with them. There’s no imbalance of power because there’s mutual respect and love.

However, when you hang on to friends who only tolerate you, use you, and treat you like the last option, you only settle for friendships that are painful. Moreover, you surrender your power and give them the upper hand!

And once the other person has more power than you, the threat of bullying is there. And don’t think they won’t take advantage of it.

In fact, they may bully you just to make you go away. Therefore, place value on yourself and have nothing to do with those who don’t give you the respect you deserve.

Remember that if you don’t respect yourself enough to walk away, no one else will respect you either. It starts with you. Therefore, give yourself respect and watch others slowly begin to respect you.

3. Never Chase People who Don’t See Your Worth:

You’ll attract bullies and human predators.

When you chase people who don’t value you, you allow them to treat you like yesterday’s garbage. Human predators notice this right away. They notice your desperation. Therefore, they see you as a walking, talking opportunity.

And they’ll latch onto you just for the chance to take advantage of you or even hurt you. Therefore, treat yourself well by getting rid of those who only shit all over you.

If you get rid of people who only tolerate you and endure being alone for a while, life will reward you with true friends who genuinely care for you.

It may take a while. However, if you have the courage to walk away from fake people, life will eventually reward you for your courage. Moreover, it will do so by placing better and more loving people in your path.

You will eventually meet people who genuinely love you and have your best interests at heart.

Moreover, you’ll have better friends- friends who want to spend time with you, who want to invite you to parties and other events, and who will be there for you when the chips are down. You will have friends who are tried and true.

Be patient. Your time is coming!

This post is about the reasons you never chase people who don’t see your worth. It’s purpose is to prompt you to raise your own value by getting rid of those who don’t value you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Enemies Are Better Than Frenemies: 5 Reasons Bullied Victims must Beware Fake Friends

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

4. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

5. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

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‘Want to know the signs of a lack of boundaries? Here are the signs you need to set boundaries and how to do it.

lack of boundaries

When you don’t have any boundaries, others will notice and take advantage of you. Moreover, you triple your chances of experiencing bullying.

In this post you will learn all the signs that you lack boundaries and what to do to establish them. Also, you’ll learn how to set and enforce those boundaries.

Once you learn all these indications, it will prompt you to take the steps needed to win back your autonomy, self-respect, and dignity. Moreover, you will became proactive in improving your relationships, your mental health, and your life.

Lack of Boundaries

When you have no boundaries, it can turn your world upside down. Why? Because you only leave yourself vulnerable to human predators.

In other words, others have no incentive to respect you.

Instead, they’ll make you responsible for their happiness and expect you to overextend yourself for their benefit. This is no way to live and life’s too short.

So,

What are the Signs You need to Begin establishing your boundaries?

1. You have toxic relationships

The people in your life have no respect for you. They only use you for their own benefit. Moreover, they manipulate you to get you to do what they want you to do. And if you don’t do what they tell you, they’ll then find ways to punish you for it.

Toxic people may punish you by refusing to talk to you. Also, they may lay guilt trips on you to make you feel bad.

Therefore, here’s what you do. You start by having no more to do with them. Stop associating with those who use and abuse you. There’s no law that says you have to hang around with them. You must begin making yourself less available and begin taking care of your own needs and priorities.

Moreover, understand that setting boundaries also means enforcing them when the need to do so arises. Also, know that it’s an ongoing process.

This is how you create your value and communicate your worth.

2. Another Sign of a lack of boundaries is that you seem to attract bullies, users, and abusers into your life.

When you don’t protect yourself from human predators, others will notice. And they will try establishing friendships with you just to use you.

Also, bullies and abusers will think they can abuse you and get away with it. Therefore, they’ll come around just to mistreat you and make themselves feel powerful.

Remember that the purpose of setting boundaries is to protect yourself

Therefore, impose consequences for this kind of behavior. In other words, when someone mistreats you, you respond in kind. Also, you cut off communication with them.

3. You hold on to toxic relationships.

Why do you do this? It’s because you have low self-esteem. People have convinced you that your needs and wants don’t matter. Moreover, you don’t think you can ever attain better connections. Therefore, you desperately cling to the very ones who treat you like garbage.

But realize that you must gather the courage to go no contact. You deserve people who uplift you and make you feel good about yourself, not those who bring you down!

You may be alone for a while. However, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than to be around those who suck the energy out of you?

Understand that it won’t be easy. You may have to wait a while before better people find you. However, know that once you discard those who mistreat you, you make room for those who are healthier and they will eventually come along. I guarantee it!

4. When you have a lack of boundaries, You Repel Healthier People.

Those who are happy and healthy won’t want to be around you. They may even reject you. Why? Because no one wants to be around anyone with low self-esteem.

Realize that people pick up on energy, especially low energy! Moreover, those who have low self-esteem put off low vibrations.

Therefore, happier people would rather be around those who are just as happy as they are.

Start setting boundaries and do it today! The sooner you do, the happier you’ll be, the better vibes you’ll exude, and you’ll start attracting those of higher quality!

5. You’re afraid of conflict and rejection.

You don’t stand up to people because you fear making them angry. Moreover, you’re running from conflict.

However. realize that conflict and rejection are both a part of life. This is a reality that you must accept and expect.

Setting boundaries means that you must embrace the possibility of conflict. And when someone gets offended at your boundaries and decides to lash out, you must face it head-on.

Also, expect things to get worse before they get better. Why? Because those of low integrity will be resistant to your newly established boundaries at first. And why not? They’ve grown quite comfortable with the way things were and they won’t like the change!

Nevertheless, you must continue to stand your ground and not give one tiny inch!

6. You Forgive too much when you have a lack of boundaries.

Forgiveness is a good thing but it doesn’t mean foolishness. In other words, you mustn’t overuse it. Also, you must be selective in who you give it to.

People who are genuine will see it as a second chance to repair the relationship and do better. Whereas, human predators will only see it as weakness and keep doing the same things they’ve been doing.

Therefore, don’t forgive so much.

7. You don’t say no.

Instead, you say yes to things you don’t want to do because you’re afraid of making others angry. Saying no is essential to take care of yourself.

You must understand that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s and you’re not wrong for putting yourself first.

Saying no automatically sets a boundary. “No” is a tiny word but holds enormous power. On the other hand, there is zero power in saying yes.

Therefore, stop being too scared to say no and begin saying it more often. If it offends others, then they aren’t worth having! Ditch those creeps!

8. a lack of boundaries means staying silent when others mistreat you.

If nothing else, know this! No one has a right to abuse you and you are well within your rights to defend yourself when they do. Therefore, don’t be quiet about it. Speak up!

Let the creep know in no uncertain terms that they’re out of line and you will not tolerate their behavior. And say it like you mean it!

You do this by looking them straight in the eyes and using a firm, booming voice. And don’t stop looking at them until they take their eyes off you.

This is how you set firm boundaries.

9. You’re afraid to make Your own decisions.

Why? Because you fear making other people angry. However, realize that only you are living your life, not theirs.

Therefore, who are they to tell you what you can and can’t do? Start making your own decisions. And to hell with them if they don’t like it!

Why should you give a hoot what others think? Tell them to keep their nose out of your business!

10. When you have a lack of boundaries, You apologize too much.

There are some things that just don’t warrant an apology. Period! Others will walk all over you if you overdo the I’m sorries.

Also, they’ll see it as confirmation that you’re in the wrong. Only apologize when you must.

11. You people-Please.

People-pleasing is never good because you place the needs of others over your own. It’s one thing to put your child’s needs ahead of yours. That’s normal.

However, when you put everyone else’s needs first, you place your own needs last.

But why do you do this?

You do it because you don’t want to make people angry or hurt their feelings. But those who are really concerned for you wouldn’t be offended by your taking care of yourself too.

Therefore, you should get rid of those who have a problem with your prioritizing your needs. They’re a waste of your time and energy!

12. When you have a lack of boundaries, you have increased stress levels.

And why not? When you have no boundaries, people use you as a doormat to wipe their nasty feet on.

They use you for their own benefit and disrespect your time. Moreover, they talk down to you and tell you what you can and can’t do. Then, they get angry when you’re not available at their beck and call.

It’s as if you live for their convenience and purposes.

Therefore, buck up! Gather the courage to put an end to their nonsense once and for all! Start telling them no and mean it! And if they have a problem with it, show them the door! Fast!

13. You’re too agreeable.

You are entitled to your own opinions. Moreover, you have a right to voice those opinions. Understand that you aren’t going to agree with everyone all the time. And you shouldn’t.

When you’re too agreeable, others take notice of it and lose respect for you. Moreover, you’ll attract those who will take advantage of you.

Therefore, don’t be too scared to disagree.  And if others get offended over it, they aren’t worth your time.

Get rid of them.

14. When you have a lack of boundaries, You lose your sense of self.

In other words, you don’t know who you are anymore. You lose sight of your likes and dislikes because you’re too focused on those of others.

You’re too busy trying to please others that you don’t take time to do things you enjoy doing.

Isn’t it time you got to know yourself again?

Stop trying so hard to please everyone else and increase your self-knowledge. How you do this is to get some boundaries and stick to them.

Get rid of those who ask too much of you and begin doing things to feed your own soul.

15. You Feel Powerless.

In that, you feel used by everyone, which makes you angry and resentful. Moreover, you may feel powerless to stop it.

However, you have more power than you realize. You may be unable to change other people’s attitudes but you do have the choice of whether to keep them in your life.

Therefore, be brave and give those life-leeches the boot! Start living for yourself. Do things that fill your soul and don’t feel guilty for cutting ties with people who don’t appreciate you.

In conclusion:

Setting boundaries is a peaceable thing to do. It allows you to live in harmony with others. Moreover, it protects your peace, happiness, and overall mental health.

Personal boundaries are what everyone needs to live together in a polite society!

This post was all about the negative consequences that come with a lack of boundaries and what you can do to rectify it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

3. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

4. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

self-respect

How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

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‘Want to know how to have self-respect? Here are several powerful techniques you can use to treat yourself better and assert your rights as a human being

how to have self-respect

Bullies often force victims of bullying to do things that are beneath them by way of threats and inducing fear in them. Therefore, they force these targets to give up their self-respect just to survive. If you’re one of those victims, here’s how to have self-respect so that you can take back your dignity.

In this post, you will learn the most powerful techniques you can use to command dignity and respect from others. Moreover, you will have the courage to give respect only to others who’ve earned it from you.

After you learn these methods, you will respect yourself enough to stand up to your bullies and take back your personal power

How to have self-respect

Here’s something most people don’t realize.

You teach people how to treat you. And how do you teach them this? By how well you treat yourself- by what you will and will not put up with and by the boundaries you set.

Consequently, after people have bullied and abused you for so long, they can condition you to accept and allow bad behavior from others. Therefore, prolonged bullying is a form of brainwashing and hypnosis.

It slowly rewires your brain and forces you to “let” people walk over you.

However, know that it doesn’t have to be this way. You can retrain your brain and reclaim your dignity. In that, you can re-create the life you so deserve.

To put it plainly, you can either allow unsavory people into your life. Moreover, you can allow them to abuse and degrade you or you can put your foot down.

You can call them on their unacceptable behavior, and give them the old heave-ho. You decide.

I have to admit. When I was being bullied years ago, I unwittingly let my classmates tear me down. I gave them the power to determine how I felt about myself.

However, this power never belonged to them in the first place.

Therefore, this is what happens when you don’t gather the courage to stand up to bullies. If you do not assert your rights to safety and dignity, people will take advantage.

Moreover, if you let others’ hurtful words and physical assaults make you feel terrible about myself, you’re self-esteem will come crashing down.

How to have self-respect:

What happens to your self-esteem if you don’t stand up for yourself

Again, your self-esteem will fall like a meteor. Then other bad things begin to happen.

If you’re a kid in school, you’ll give up on schoolwork and your grades will plummet. Also, you’ll give up on you talents and stop doing what you enjoy.

In other words, you’ll allow your bullies to turn you against yourself.

I say this because it happened to me. I can’t even pretend it was all their fault. Why? Because I allowed them to steal my confidence- without knowing it or meaning to, of course.

Nevertheless, I let it happen. Therefore, part of the blame is on me.

But here’s the good news! Your bullies and abusers may bring you down, but they can’t keep you there if you don’t allow. You can eventually get wise to your value as a human being.

In other words, you can begin seeing your worth and treating yourself better by removing toxic people from your life. And if removing them isn’t possible, as with toxic coworkers or family members, you can still, to some degree, limit contact.

“I can’t even pretend it’s all their fault.”

I can’t stress enough the importance of loving yourself first and foremost. Love should come from within and you should never look to any outside source for it.

Love yourself and all of your imperfections, for we are all “perfectly flawed.” Therefore, by loving yourself, you also accept and respect yourself.

You don’t have to seek approval. If a person does not want to see your worth, you can’t make them. However, you do have the choice of whether or not to keep them in your life.

This may or may not change their behavior toward you, and the worst-case scenario might even make it worse. However, you aren’t looking to change anyone’s attitude, you’re looking to take care of yourself and take back your peace.

How to have self-respect: 7 Ways to Respect Yourself

1. Understand the ins and outs of respect.

This means understanding that respect has a purpose. It’s there to ensure that everyone can live together in safety, peace, and harmony. It isn’t self-serving. It’s meant for the good of society.

Respect of any kind isn’t an entitlement. In other words, it isn’t free. You must earn it by giving it to others in order to get it in return. Moreover, respect is something you must give to yourself to earn it also.

Everyone has a space to fill, even you. Respect is either mutual or it’s none at all and there’s no in-between. In short, it’s a two-way street.

Also realize that respect is something money can’t buy. It doesn’t matter how much money, power, and prestige you have. If you’re a piece of scum, you’re a piece of scum.

Moreover, your money is something you can never take with you when you go and the same goes for power and prestige. We all come into this world naked and so shall we leave it.

You don’t get respect by bullying and instilling fear in others. For example, gangs and mobsters demand respect. However, they never give any in return.

These kinds of people steal, kill, and destroy the lives of others. Yet, they have the nerve to demand respect, and from the very people they hurt.

Also, it isn’t something you must ask nor beg for. If you earn it, it should naturally come back to you.

On the other hand, if you must ask or beg for it, you’re around the wrong people and it’s time to walk away. Respect is something that you sometimes must fight for.

2. How to have self-respect: Understand what self-respect is and what it isn’t.

Self-respect is not haughty, pompous, nor arrogant.  True self-respect is respect for self while being aware of your strengths and weaknesses. It also means knowing and accepting your limitations.

In other words, it means embracing all aspects of yourself, good, bad, and ugly. Moreover, it’s treating yourself well and protecting yourself from emotional marauders.

3. Know your worth.

This means knowing what you deserve and what you will and will not tolerate. Never show respect to anyone who doesn’t return it.

In other words, you must respond in kind to anyone who disrespects you. Moreover, know that it’s not about changing anyone, it’s about looking out for yourself.  It’s about establishing boundaries.

 4. Set and enforce firm boundaries.

There are toxic people everywhere- users, abusers, and bullies. They will try to manipulate you, disrespect you, harass you, and violate your boundaries. Therefore, it’s imperative that you set boundaries and walk away from such people.

Moreover, setting boundaries means having the courage to say no when you must.

You must also enforce those boundaries when some creep sticks so much as one toe over them. This means imposing consequences on the violator.

Understand that this is how you treat yourself well. If you don’t, who will?

5. How to have self-respect: Be prepared to fight to keep your self-respect.

You, as much as anyone else, deserve your self-respect and dignity. Moreover, there will be times when you must fight to keep it. So, how do you fight for your self-respect?

You fight for it, simply, by refusing to allow people to disrespect you and get away with it. In other words, you do it by walking away from toxic friendships and abusive partners. You fight by standing up to bullies and cutting ties with those who disrupt your peace.

And you do it guilt-free, without warning, explanation, nor apology.

6. take care of your health.

This means taking care of your physical health by eating the right foods and getting plenty of exercise and nightly rest.

Moreover, you must nurture your mental and spiritual health by surrounding yourself with those who uplift you and doing what you love to do. Feed your brain by reading good personal development books and books that teach you things.

In short, never stop learning new things.

7. be kind but don’t be “nice!”

It never pays to be too nice. When people take your kindness for weakness, that’s the time to get tough. In other words, kindness is giving but not doing it at your own expense. Niceness is giving at your own expense. Moreover, there’s an ulterior motive to niceness.

On the other hand, there’s no self-servitude in kindness.

Nice people tend to kiss booty. They accept shabby treatment from those who don’t appreciate them and their niceness comes from an objective to score brownie points.

Whereas, kind people give from the heart and won’t tolerate abuse from others. A kind person won’t try to curry favor. They give because it’s the right thing to do.

Therefore, respect yourself by being kind. Nice is for suckers.

This post is all about how to have self-respect and treat yourself well so that you can gain back your confidence and your personal power.

Related post you’ll enjoy:

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

4. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

5. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps