Tag: School Bullying

School Bullying

psychological abuse tactics examples

Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

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‘Want to know the psychological abuse tactics most preferred by seasoned bullies. Here are all the psychological methods of expert bullying you need to know about.

psychological abuse tactics

Psychological abuse isn’t visible to the eyes. Therefore, it’s more difficult to provide evidence of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common psychological abuse tactics bullies use so that you can easily spot it, call it by name and describe it to protect yourself from further bullying.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be better to see it as it happens and defend yourself against it.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can avoid it and keep yourself safe from it.

Psychological Abuse Tactics

Seasoned bullies prefer psychological bullying over physical bullying. Why? Because this type of bullying offers easy deniability.

Unlike the physical kind, psychological bullying is less evident to any bystanders and witnesses. It leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds.

In fact, it can be so subtle that even you, the victim, may not realize it’s happening. Therefore, you’ll never be able to prove that anyone ever bullied you.

Moreover, when you finally get fed up with their crap and report them to the higher-ups, it will be easier for the bullies to deny it. Also, if you stand up to the bullies, they’ll be able to play victim and make you look like the bad guy.

What are the mind games these bullies use?

1. Playing the victim.

Bullies will deliberately instigate an altercation. If you defend yourself, they’ll take your defense and twist it to make you look like the bully.

If the bully is female, she may cry those fake tears to garner sympathy. Consequently, if others aren’t wise to her, they’ll fall for her lies and blame you.

2. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Weaponizing mental health.

Also, they can use your reaction to their abuse to brand you as mentally unstable. With this tactic, bullies can easily destroy your credibility and reputation.

As a result, your relationships will likely suffer. Even worse, your bullies may then retaliate against you by escalating the harassment later.

3. quiet bullying.

Quiet bullying is bullying by dirty looks and using the silent treatment. Moreover, a quiet bully will use exclusion to bully you.

In the workplace, quiet bullying can happen through micro-managing. Also, a quiet workplace bully can assign impossible workloads and deadlines to a targeted employee.

Remember that the most talented bullies are the biggest cowards. Also, they’re the most successful actors and actresses. They have methods of harassment which are well-planned in advance.

4. Subtle Bullying Disguised as concern.

Subtle bullying can also come in the form of glares and the silent treatment. They also use soft smear campaigns.

A soft smear campaign is disguised as concern for your well being. For example, the bully may say something like, “Bless her heart. I’m really concerned about Kathy. I hope she gets the profession help she needs before it’s too late.”

And when you defend yourself against it, the bully can use your reaction as proof that you’re unhinged.

5. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Subtle bullying disguised as jokes.

Also, subtle bullying can disguise itself as jokes and fun. When you respond to this type of bullying, your bullies will make it look as if you can’t take a joke.

Therefore, understand that these bullies go to great lengths to prevent themselves from being exposed. They’re incredibly crafty. And they commit their attacks ever so slowly and subtly.

Moreover, they will bully undercover and hide behind a veil of superficial charm, fake playfulness, and deceit.

6. Weaponizing their social status.

These type of bullies are often in the popular crowd at school. You’ll also find them in the Good Ole’ Boy clique at work.

These bullies are often able to climb up the social ladder because of their superior social skills.  Also, they have the ability to read people and predict others’ reactions.

To top it off, they have a talent for keeping up appearances.

Therefore, they’re usually well-liked by teachers, school staff, supervisors, managers and CEOs. Also, many of them excel in studies and join clubs or sororities/fraternities at school.

Workplace bullies often make themselves out to be high performers at work. How do they do this? They do it by stealing over people’s ideas and taking credit for their work.

These bullies use their popularity as a shield from accountability. Moreover, their extreme likability adds a lot of weight to their words. This is why they often get away with bullying others.

If you live in a small town, these bullies likely come from families who have powerful local connections. This is all the more reason these people keep up appearances.

Psychological abuse Tactics:

Bullies with social status may use minions to do their dirty work for them.

Understand that these bullies likely have followers. They’re too chicken to get their hands dirty. Therefore, if they want to cause you any physical harm, they will often send one of their sycophants to do it for them.

Moreover, they will often these minions incentives to get the job done. They may offer them money and social status. Or they may offer them special favors.

Afterward, the followers will have served their purpose. Therefore, the bullies will likely discard them like a used piece of toilet paper.

However understand that most of their followers don’t really like them. Most will only kiss and cover their butts to get something from them. They may hope to get a little bit of power and social status.

7. Using their talent with words.

Many of these kinds of harassers are highly skilled wordsmiths. Therefore, they’re convincing liars and have the right answer for everything.

They’re good at rationalizing their behavior and justifying their actions. Moreover, these bullies are good at conjuring up a good story. So, they’re great storytellers. You’d think some of them would’ve chosen a career in writing.

8. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Using their social skills to bully those who aren’t as fortunate.

Bullies on top of the pecking order will use their superb social skills to take advantage of the mentally disabled. For instance, they may taunt kids with Down’s Syndrome.

They may make fun of students with Cerebral Palsy or Traumatic Brain Injury.  And they’ll push around those with physical ailments, such as Diabetes, heart defects and food allergies.

Even sadder, they may quietly bully people who are paraplegic. However, they won’t be obvious when they bully these people. Why? Because others tend to look down on those who bully those in wheelchairs.

People with weight issues, those with low self-esteem, or those with smaller builds are also fair game to these types of bullies.

Again, psychological bullies are such sniveling cowards. Otherwise, they wouldn’t select such vulnerable people to push around in the first place.

9. Gaslighting

Bullies gaslight you to brainwash you into believing that you’re losing your mind. Gaslighting always starts out subtle. However, it gradually gets more obvious over time.

Understand that the reason bullies gaslight you is to maintain their power over you. They know that once you get beyond their control, you’re likely to talk about their abuse and expose them for the monsters they are. And they can’t have that!

The term, “gaslighting,” comes from the movie, “Gaslight.” The movie is about a married couple. The husband dims the gaslights, then denies it in a way to make his wife think she’s going cuckoo.

This is why gaslighting is one of the most evil types of abuse.

Psychological Abuse tactics:

Understand that these types of bullies are the most cowardly of all.

Why? Because most of the abuse they dish out is strictly psychological. Moreover, they use these kinds of tactics because they’re afraid that someone just might stand up to them.

These bullies just might run up on somebody who will put them in their place. Even worse, they might do it publicly! 

In conclusion:

Sadly, you may have to go to school or work with these types of people. Therefore, there is no way to avoid them or to go no-contact.

 The best you can do is to see through these self-entitled, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied wimps. Also, you must learn their weaknesses so that you can find a way to expose them for the creeps they are.

This requires getting into the minds of these bullies. To properly defend yourself, you must think as they do, even though it’s not a pleasant place to be. And I’ll tell you! The souls of such people can be downright ugly!

However, sometimes it takes getting just as low, just as sneaky and just as nasty as your attacker if you ever want to expose them for what they are. Then, they’re more likely to back the hell off.

The more you know, the more you’’ll prepare and the better you’ll protect yourself from such people.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can recognize them and protect yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

2. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

3. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

Bullying the Mentally Ill: 9 Reasons Why People Do It

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It’s a shame that no one wants to talk about bullies bullying the mentally ill.  It’s not even something the media talks about. ‘Want to know about the bullying the mentally ill face? Here are the details and how we can stand up for them.

Also, if you have a mental illness and people are bullying you because of it, you can use this information to stand up for yourself.

bullying the mentally ill

Whether you have a mental illness or not, bullies and human predators can weaponize it. In other words, they can use it to label you.

Remember that bullies search for any defect to use against you. Therefore, if you have a mental illness, you’re especially vulnerable.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullies love bullying the mentally ill so that you can be a better advocate for yourself. Moreover, you can better protect someone else if you see them getting bullied.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to defend against bullying based on mental health.

This post is all about bullying the mentally ill so that you can stand against this insidious type of bullying.

Bullying the Mentally Ill

When bullies can con an entire community into deeming you unhinged, they can make you disappear and become irrelevant. And they can do it even after you’re dead.

The most insidious thing about this label is that, even if the person isn’t mentally ill, it can eventually cause them to doubt their own sanity. But understand this right now!

It’s not so much that they think you’re nuts. It’s that they want you to believe it. Why? Because, if they can make you believe it, then you’re more likely to live up to it.

The mental health label is the easiest for bullies to stick to you. Why? Because, although they can never prove you are, in fact, a basket case, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t one.

The mental health label is the easiest to use.

This is why this label is the most widely used among bullies and society as a whole. Also, it’s the most common form of gaslighting. “Mentally unstable” can be used as a last resort when bullies run out of options and can’t pin anything else on you.

Think about it. They can’t as easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around. Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Whereas, you can’t as easily disprove a mental imbalance. Therefore, the more we understand the ins, outs, and reasons behind the use of this label, the better we can defend against it.

Bullying the Mentally Ill:

7 Reasons Why bullies Use the Mental Health Label

Sadly, those with mental illness are the easiest to bully. Here’s why.

1. They have the least power.

 Because mental illness comes with a lot of stigma, people who have it are virtually powerless in the social arena. Bullies always target the powerless. Why? Because, without power, you’re at the mercy of everyone around you.

2. they’re least likely to be able to properly defend themselves.

When someone has a mental illness, chances are that they won’t be able to properly stand up to bullies. Put another way, they’ll likely become overly emotional when bullies attack them.

Therefore, other people won’t pay attention to the bullies’ attacks that cause the person to freak out. They’ll focus more on the victim’s emotional reaction.

Bullies instinctively know this. So, they take full advantage of it.

3. The mentally ill have the least representation.

The mentally ill are one of the largest minorities in this country. However, they get the least representation. And, without representation, you have no one to speak nor stand in your behalf.

Therefore, this leaves you much more vulnerable than other oppressed groups. Why? Because mental illness is the least visible.

You can see skin color right off. You can’t see mental illness as easily.

4. Bullying the Mentally Ill:

Society gives the mentally ill the least credibility.

There’s a lot of stigma that surrounds mental illness and bullies know it. Therefore, they’re experts at using mental health stigma to their advantage.

In other words, if a person is known to have any kind of mental illness, then who’s going to believe them when they report that they’re being bullied?

5. People don’t take them seriously.

When people label you “mentally imbalanced,” chances are that no one will ever take you seriously again. People will automatically doubt everything you do, good or bad.

Anytime society sticks a person with the “mentally imbalanced” label, it can be worse than if they deemed them a criminal. Why? Because at least people take criminals, even murderers and rapists more seriously.

6. they’re the easiest targets in the world.

It’s no secret that the mentally ill are easy prey for bullies. In fact, you don’t have to have a mental illness. All it takes is for people to think you have one and they can target you for these kinds of bullying.

Therefore, the label of mental instability is the easiest and most effective label to stick to a person. Moreover, if you do have a mental illness, it just makes it easier for them to label you.

Sadly, a label like this tends to have loads of staying power. Again, it’s the hardest to disprove – especially when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

Why? Because there’s a good chance that any target of bullying will be an emotional wreck because of the chronic abuse they suffer.

The bullies can use your perfectly normal reactions as confirmation of mental illness. And no one else will know the difference. It’s that easy!

7. Bullying the Mentally Ill: 

People can easily weaponize mental illness.

In other words, they can use the target’s mental illness against them. They can use it to discredit them. Also, bullies can use the person’s mental illness to distract others’ attention from their own bad behavior.

Why? Because, if someone is mentally ill, the mental illness will be all people can focus on.

“Oh, my God! She’s going bonkers again!”

Others focus on your reaction rather than what your bullies did to cause it.

8. Those with mental illness are easiest to silence.

Bullies can use mental illness to keep you quiet. If you know that people think you’re cray-cray, you’re going to be too afraid to open your mouth.

Why? Because you know that people probably won’t believe you. They will only say that, because of your “mental instability,” you’re probably just having paranoia.

Moreover, you’ll be too afraid to fight back because if you do, you know that the bullies will only convincingly reverse roles and play victim. Then, others will only assume that you went postal and either hurt those poor innocent people.

If you begin shouting and cursing people out because they pushed you too far, others will only take it as you having a meltdown. All because you’re just “mentally imbalanced.”

Therefore, the bullies use your reactions to protect themselves from accountability. They can also keep their own reputations spotless as they continue to bully you.

The natural human response is to react and defend yourself when attacked. And people can easily mistake this natural response for mental illness.

9. Bullying the Mentally Ill:

Mental Illness is the easiest distraction.

Again, if the victim is known to have a mental illness, then who’s going to pay attention to the bullies when they bully this person. They’ll be too busy focusing on the victim’s reaction rather than the bullies’ behavior that caused it.

It’ll happen when people walk in on you as you’re telling your bullies where to stick it. Moreover, these people will only catch the tail end of the confrontation. Then they’ll draw the wrong conclusions.

Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on. They provoke you just to set you up to look like you’ve completely “lost it.” Therefore, any witnesses who happen to walk by will get that impression.

Bullies do this all the time to discredit you and cover their behinds. If the bully can make you look loony, they get to continue pushing your buttons freely and with impunity.

Moreover, when you defend yourself, passers-by will only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There they go again! They’re having another mental episode!

So, What Should you do in this Situation?

The trick is to stay calm. Emotions are your enemy and bullies will only weaponize it.

Stand up to them but do it in a calm manner! Look them in the eye, and you tell them,
“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there slack-jawed. If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them. They’re not five years old.

Therefore, you don’t owe them any further explanation. Say as little as possible. Just tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?”
Then you say, “You know what you did! Now get lost!”

Be firm but don’t yell. Yelling makes you look like a basket case.

The bully may not change their ways or their attitude. However, you’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

Therefore, the best thing you can do in this situation is to keep your head and continue showing them up. It may take a while. But eventually, the label will get old and wear itself out.

Then, it will lose it’s effect.

This post was all about bullies who love bullying the mentally ill so that you know how to respond without looking unstable.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Bullying the Disabled: 5 Reasons Bullies Target the Disabled

3. Bullied for Being Autistic: 7 Reasons Those with ASD Suffer High Rates of Bullying

4. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

bullying evidence for court

Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying

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‘Want to know how to gather bullying evidence. Here are all the ways you can get evidence of bullying so that you can have proof in case you must take it to court, tribunal, or to the school board.

bullying evidence

Bullying, especially psychological and emotional bullying, is difficult to prove. People in authority who are in a position to help you may not help you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to gather your own bullying evidence and why it’s important that you do.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information. You will be your own detective and know how to prove bullying when it happens to you.

This post is all about how to gather bullying evidence so that you can prove bullying beyond a shadow of a doubt.

Bullying Evidence

The Importance of Gathering Your Own Evidence

School and workplaces may tell you they’ll investigate incidences of bullying. However, they may not. If they do, you can bet that they’ll have their own interests in mind and not yours.

They might even find ways of planting evidence against you to protect the bullies and themselves.

Therefore, it’s imperative that you learn how to gather your own evidence of bullying. Remember, proving that you’re a victim of bullying is your responsibility.

1. Document the Bullying.

If you want to gather evidence that people are bullying you, writing about it can be the first step to making a record of the attacks.

Document in the tiniest details possible. Why? Because not only does it help you to keep your story straight, but it’s also admissible in court and in tribunals.

The best way to document bullying is to use the 5W Method. What is the 5W method and how do you use it in your bullying journal?

the 5W Method

When you use the 5W method, you write down What happened, Where it happened, When it happened (the exact date and time of incident), Who was involved and the names of any bystanders, and, if possible, Why it happened.

1. Bullying Evidence:

What Happened?

Write down what happened. Moreover, when you write about it, describe the incident exactly as it unfolded. Include any exchanges of dialogue and by whom.

2. Who was Involved? Who was around to see it?

Identify the bullies by writing down their full names. If necessary, include their titles and positions. Also, include the names, titles, and positions of any bystanders and witnesses.

If there were any teachers or supervisors present, add their names, titles and positions as well. They may not want to provide any testimonies. Also, they may even deny seeing the bullying attack.

However, if you document correctly, your bullying journal will expose them for the liars and cowards they are.

3. When did the Bullying Incident happen?

Record the date and exact time of the incident. Very important!

4. Where Did it happen?

 You must include where the incident happened (school locker room, gym, bathroom at work, parking lot, etc.)

5. Bullying Evidence:

Why Did it happen?

Write down why it happened. For example, was the bully retaliating because you reported prior harassment?. Write down every detail!

If you don’t know why it happened, write that down. Moreover, if you need to, also describe how the incident happened.

Again, you owe it to yourself to document the bullying if you’ve tried talking about it and no one will listen to you.

What not to include in your Documentation.

Pay attention to the quality of your documentation. Also, make sure you write everything neatly and legibly. You want to make your writing as easy to read as possible. In fact, you might even want to create a typed version of your journal.

Don’t be vague. Here are examples of vague statements in documentation.

  • “Her words hurt me.”
  • “He assaulted me.” This is why detailed documenting is so crucial.

Always write everything down in the tiniest details possible. And no hearsay. In other words, none of the “he said, she said” stuff. Ever!

If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, it’s best not to record it. Only record your own experiences.

In closing, if people are bullying you, I can’t stress enough how important it is to have documentation of it. Documentation gets more credit than spoken words.

Why? Because when victims use the spoken word to describe what they’ve experienced, they can become emotional and end up rambling. And it will hurt you more than it will help.

When you’re being bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. You must be proactive and document! It’s truly the best defense there is!

2. Bullying Evidence:

Save any mean or threatening Texts, Emails and Online posts, comments, and Messages.

If bullies bully you at school or work, there’s a good chance they’ll stalk your social media pages, get your email address, and bully you online too.

Therefore, save everything on three or more different flash drives. Then, keep each flash drive in different places. The trick is to take precautions in case someone connected to your bullies breaks into your house to do a little snooping around.

This doesn’t happen often. However, it has happened and you want to take precautions.

3. Record the bullying with a body camera or digital recorder.

If the laws in your state allow, record the bullying in real time. Body cameras are best but if you only have a digital audio recorder, you can use it.

However, I would suggest that you check the laws of your state first. If you live in a one-party consent state, you’re free to record.

However, if you live in a two-party consent state. Don’t do it. If you do, your bullies and your school or company can come back and sue you for violation of privacy laws.

And, believe it! Bullies are just itching for a chance to use the legal system against you. Again, don’t do it! It isn’t worth the time, energy, and legal expenses!

4. Bullying Evidence:

If the Bullying is physical, take still photos of any physical marks your bullies may have left on your body.

Very important! You would be surprised at the number of people who don’t think to do this. If a bully physically attacks you,always take pictures of any scrapes, cuts, or bruises.

This goes a long way in proving your case.

5. If you need medical attention, get copies of any doctors’ and hospital records.

If your bullies hurt you badly enough that you need medical treatment, get proof of that. This means making copies of the emergency room visit. If you have to have x-rays, get copies of those x-rays.

If you’ve suffered psychological bullying and need psychiatric help, get copies of those records as well. This may be more difficult. Why? It’s because of the stigma around mental health. However, you’ll need this evidence to prove psychological injuries.

when you do your own investigation, be quiet about it.

Never brag about what you’re doing to people you think are your friends. Realize that when you’re a victim of bullying, you can’t trust anyone. Not even your friends.

Bullies have ways of turning even your closest friends against you. And when they do, these pals will talk! So, keep it to yourself until it comes out in court.

Don’t document while you’re at school or work. Keep your bullying journal safe at home!

Don’t journal while you’re at school or work. Moreover, never keep your documentation in your desk at work or your locker at school.

Why? Because bullies are notorious for snooping through your things.  Workplace bullies will look through your desk. School bullies will go through your locker or gym bag.

Moreover, female bullies might snoop in your purse. Therefore, they’re likely to find your bullying journal.

Again, keep it at home and away from prying eyes!

In Conclusion:

When people are bullying and abusing you, it’s not the time to be lazy. And you should never depend on anyone else to do your investigation for you.

Why? Because this is how many victims of bullying get screwed. Again, many schools and workplaces may tell you that they’ll do an investigation. However, they usually don’t.

If, by chance, they do, they’ll be sloppy at it. Remember that these people aren’t your friends. They’re not on your side. They’ll only try to cover their own butts.

Most bullies are covert with their abuse. When you report bullying to school staff or HR at work, you become a liability. This is why it’s important that you quietly build your own case.

It will take time and patience. Moreover, it will take a lot of work. But it will be worth it in the end. I promise you!

This post was all about how to gather bullying evidence so that you can be your own detective, take control, and provide proof of bullying just in case you need it later.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Personal Responsibility: 3 Reasons to be Responsible for Your Own Safety

2. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished: 7 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal

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‘Want to know exactly how to document bullying? Here are all the things you need to record in your bullying journal if you even have trouble with bullies.

how to document bullying

If you want to gather evidence that people are bullying you at school or at work, writing about it can be the first step to making a record of the attacks.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly how to document bullying and all the things you need to write down so that you can have admissible evidence handy to present in court or at the company tribunal.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will better be able to prove bullying and cover yourself should you ever need to take legal action or appear before a tribunal at work. Moreover, documentation is also the best thing to present before the school board if you’re bullied in school.

This post is all about how to document bullying so that you know exactly what to include in your bullying journal and write about it in a neat and organized manner.

How to Document Bullying

It is your responsibility to gather evidence that your classmates or coworkers are bullying you. Why do I say this?

Because, chances are that no one is coming to rescue you. Even if you report bullying to school staff or HR, it’s likely they won’t help you. In fact, they may hurt you in the long run. Why?

Because, although they may be in a position to help you, is doesn’t mean they will. If nothing else, remember this. Most people only have their own interests in mind. Therefore, you must be the one to gather your evidence.

Again, the responsibility is on you. No one else! Where targets and victims of bullying mess up is when they rely on others to investigate bullying. This is a grave mistake!

Why Document Bullying?

Bullying, especially psychological and emotional bullying, is difficult to prove. People in authority who are in a position to help you may not want to help you. There are several reasons why people who are in a position to help bullying victims often don’t.

Moreover, if you’re a teenager being bullied by a teacher at your high school, you especially need to document it! In other words, keep a log of the bullying.

There are six reasons why you should document bullying.

1. Bullies are master seducers.

In other words, they’re charming and alluring to others. Bullies are experts at sucking up to authority. Therefore, it’s likely that those in power will let the bullies off the hook.

Also, if your bullies are star performers and get high marks, they’ll use that as leverage. For instance, if school bullies excel academically, the school will likely protect them and blame you. Why? Because the bullies make the school look good.

Therefore, it takes more than simply reporting incidences of bullying to members of authority. Why? Because, in most cases, they will only rebuff and blame you.

These are only a few reasons why you must keep a journal if bullies begin targeting you.

Many bullies can also use good looks, impeccable dressing, and grooming to seduce others. We call this the halo effect. The Halo Effect is a phenomenon where those who look the best are the most trusted and respected by others.

A bullying journal helps you to keep a log of the abuse.

Bullies are slick! They are experts at deceiving authority and making you look like the bad guy.

Therefore, journals are the best way for victims to protect themselves.  When you keep a bullying journal, you establish a pattern of bullying that is believable. Moreover, you also provide evidence to present in court if you decide to go the legal route.

Keeping a journal may be risky. However, I still urge you to keep one if you have bullies on your tail.

I’d also advise you to keep your journal safe at home. Never take it to work or school with you. Why? Because bullies are known for plundering through your belongings.

Therefore, you risk them finding it and snooping through it. So, keep it home and write about any of the day’s bullying events as soon as you get home, while your memory of it is still fresh. The sooner you write about it, the better.

2. How to Document Bullying:

Bullies are convincing liars and actors.

They have a flair for spreading the most convincing rumors and lies. Bullies do this to convince others not to associate with you. Therefore, they strip you of support and isolate you until you have no one to turn to for help.

For instance, let’s say that your bully won’t leave you alone. They keep pushing your buttons until they finally get a highly emotional reaction from you. Your bully will then weaponize your reaction while putting on a calm and collected demeanor in front of authority members.

This is why people in authority almost always side with the bully. Because they see your emotional response while the bully displays false coolness.

How do bullies weaponize your reaction? Simple. They point out your perfectly normal emotional reaction and take it out of context. They then twist everything to suit their narrative.

As a result, they successfully convince everyone that you’re the instigator. Moreover, they make you look unstable, overly dramatic, or too sensitive.

3. They Play the Victim

Another thing bullies do is cry those crocodile tears and play like they’re the victim. Therefore, those in authority will likely shift the blame onto you and protect the bullies.

Understand that seasoned bullies are master wordsmiths. In other words, they’re good at explaining and rationalizing any bad behavior.

They can spin a story that is so convincing that teachers and supervisors will find it hard not to believe it. In the end, you get the blame, the bullies get off Scot free, and you get punished for their behavior.

4. How to Document Bullying:

Documenting gives you a voice.

In other words, it allows you to have your say when no one else is listening. By documenting the abuse, you can tell you side without others interrupting you or ignoring you.

Moreover, it makes it harder for your bullies or anyone else to trivialize your experiences.

5. It Gives you a legal record of the bullying

For instance, if the bully hurts you badly enough to send you to the hospital, you can use your documentation as proof in court. Why? Because it will show that there was a long pattern of bullying before you got hurt.

Moreover, if you sue for psychological damages, the journal will also prove the bullying that cause you the psychological injuries. Again, documentation is admissible in court.

6. Keeping a journal is cathartic and therapeutic.

 It allows you to express the emotions you otherwise couldn’t. Journals cannot trivialize your experiences, nor can they invalidate you in any way.

Journals are also confidential. They cannot go to the bullies nor anyone else and repeat what you tell them.

How do you Document Bullying?

Believe it or not, there is a right way and a wrong way to document bullying. Therefore, we’ll talk about the right way first. The best way to document is to use the 5W Method.

How to Document Bullying:

the 5W Method

1. What

Record in your journal what happened. When you write about it, describe the incident exactly as it unfolded. Include any exchanges of dialogue and by whom.

2. Who

Identify the bullies by writing down their full names. If necessary, include their titles and positions. Also, include the names, titles, and positions of any bystanders and witnesses.

If there were any teachers or supervisors present, add their names, titles and positions as well. They may not want to provide any testimonies. Also, they may even deny seeing the bullying attack.

However, if you document correctly, your bullying journal will expose them for the liars and cowards they are.

3. When

Record the date and exact time of the incident. Very important!

4. Where

 You must include where the incident happened (school locker room, gym, bathroom at work, parking lot, etc.)

5. Why

Write down why it happened. For example, was the bully retaliating because you reported prior harassment?. Write down every detail!

If you don’t know why it happened, write that down. Moreover, if you need to, also describe how the incident happened.

Again, you owe it to yourself to document the bullying if you’ve tried talking about it and no one will listen to you.

What not to include in your journal

Pay attention to the quality of your documentation. Also, make sure you write everything neatly and legibly. You don’t want writing that isn’t easy to read.

Don’t be vague. Here are examples of vague statements in documentation.

  • “Her words made me feel hurt and embarrassed.”
  • “He assaulted me.” This is why detailed documenting is so crucial.

Always write everything down in the tiniest details possible. And no hearsay. In other words, none of the “he said, she said” stuff. Ever!

If you didn’t hear it with your own ears, it’s best not to record it. Only record your own experiences.

In closing, if people are bullying you, I can’t stress enough how important it is to have documentation of it. Documentation gets more credit than spoken words.

Why? Because when victims use the spoken word to describe what they’ve experienced, they can become emotional and end up rambling. And it will hurt you more than it will help.

When you’re being bullied, it’s not the time to be lazy. You must be proactive and document! It’s truly the best defense there is!

Therefore, if you suffering bullying, keep a bullying journal. You’ll thank yourself later!

This post is all about how to document bullying so that you can have the best evidence if you ever need to prove a case of bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

2. Empowerment: 7 Things that Come with It

3. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished: 7 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

bystanders to bullying in school

Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

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‘Want to know what bystanders to bullying do when they see you getting bullied? Here are all the details you need to know about.

bystanders to bullying

Bystanders can be the difference of whether the bullying lessens or worsens. Sadly, most bystanders either refuse to help you if you suffer bullying, or they join in.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bystanders to bullying and why they side with bullies.

Once you learn all about this information, you will not only be able to call out bystanders who band with bullies, you will be better equipped with the knowledge to defend yourself.

This post is all about bystanders to bullying and why most choose to either watch from the sidelines or join in the torment.

Bystanders to bullying

There are many reasons witness to bullying may join the bullies in tormenting you. Here are the most common reasons they do this.

1. Group-think

Excessive group-think is the accepted norm nowadays. Moreover, it’s like that everywhere -in school, at work, on the street, everywhere!

A moderate amount of it is only human nature. Why? Because it’s how we conform to rules and laws. Also, it provides stability for a community.

However, excessive group-think is unhealthy, even dangerous! It’s how cults, dictatorships, and totalitarian states get started.

An example of group-think is, “if everyone else is doing it, I want to do it too.” It’s herd mentality at play.

Therefore, when there’s a culture of bullying in a school or in a workplace, people who would not typically bully, will.  And they’ll do it simply because everyone is doing it. So, they think they should get in on it too.

It’s definitely like that in schools and workplaces and has been for decades. Do you wonder why people you thought were friends suddenly and without warning turn on you?

It’s because they are followers. They want to follow the crowd. Therefore, they’ll join in on bullying you to jump on the bandwagon.

These bystanders use you to get in with the cool kids. They want to feel like one of the big guys.

I can remember in high school, most of the other kids and a few teachers shared this toxic group behavior. Again, this happens everywhere.

2. Bystanders to Bullying:

Social Contagion

Why Not? Everybody Else is Bullying Her!

Peer pressure is the best motivator. I look back now and realize that most of my classmates were only drones to the clique. In other words, they were one big herd of sheep.

They were slaves to the prospect of getting in good with “one of the cool kids” or  “the ‘Good Ole Boy” network.

‘You see? Bullies are nothing but two-faced hypocrites. They talk out both sides of their mouths, holding you to a double standard.

In other words, they pretend to be something they aren’t and never cab be. Authenticity, being yourself, and free thought and expression are all punishable offenses to bullies. Why?

Because they make everything about appearances. Moreover, bystanders defend people based on whose butt they want to kiss. Remember that most bystanders want move up the social ladder.

Therefore, they’ll mostly side with bullies because, sadly, bullies have the power to give them higher social status. This is how bystanders become secondary bullies.

Bullies, themselves, are also suck-ups. Many pathetically suck up to authority members they secretly can’t stand because they think it’ll score brownie points.  And often, it does.

Also, secondary bullies take plenty of degradation from the bullies at the top to fit in and look popular. Again, secondary bullies are usually bystanders who watch your bullies bully you and join in.

And hose who don’t join in will likely refuse to help you.

3. To Get in with the Big Shots

For example, back when I was in school, I knew many bystanders who become secondary bullies, hoping it would win him higher status. He was the son of one of the teachers at school.

Very few of the top bullies liked this wuss. In fact, hardly anyone liked him, yet he would lick the right boots hungrily to get the so-called privilege of hanging with them.

It didn’t matter to him if they were only tolerating him. It was so pathetic I couldn’t hate the boy. All I could do was pity him.

On other occasions, I would see one of the popular girls drop a textbook, a pencil, anything. I would then watch the kids around her scramble, some taking a nosedive to the floor to pick it up for her and laugh as I walked by.

Whoever puts on the most convincing front is usually rewarded with high social status. Moreover, not only the other classmates but many teachers and school staff reward them.

Bystanders to Bullying:

Ways Bystanders suck up to Bullies

Many use fake sympathy, bogus compliments and, incessant butt-kissing. And it’s not because they like and respect these higher-ups. No.

The reason bystanders kiss their asses is to get something from them.

They also use false flattery and toxic conformity. And most of the time, it works. It makes the bullies puffed up and overconfident. Also, it yields immense social benefits for all the wannabes.

Therefore, they maintain the status quo of ritualistic bullying of those they deem socially unfit.

Most bullies have narcissism. Also, they struggle with low self-esteem. Therefore, they’re like tires with slow leaks. Their followers must continuously air them up with fake compliments and false admiration to keep them from going flat.

4. To Boot-Lick for Approval

Thirsty for attention and praise, the bullies at the top surround themselves with weak wannabes. They need boot-lickers and yes-people to feed their hungry egos and tell them what they want to hear.

Sadly, most bystanders are more than happy to do it if it has a chance of rewarding them with high popularity and favors.

The high-status bullies expect everyone to think like them, dress like them and be like them. Moreover, they expect all the underlings to agree with them.

And they follow obediently, in lock-step. On the other hand, they target those who do their own thing and like being themselves.

5. Bystanders to Bullying:

Because Everyone Else is Doing it.

We may not realize it, but we sell ourselves to the public every day. From making new friends to finding a date, we sell ourselves.

We put our best foot forward to impress others. Moreover, we do this unconsciously, without even thinking about it.

Most people give the illusion that they’re a hot item. Why? Because they instinctively know that it’s what everyone loves and is attracted to. Moreover, they’re afraid of not being accepted.

“Social proof (also known as an informational social influence) is a psychological and social phenomenon where people assume the actions of others in an attempt to reflect correct behavior in a given situation.”

Put more plainly; people tend to do what they think everyone else is doing. In other words, they strive to follow the pack or join the bandwagon. They want to get in on the next big thing.

Whether it’s a new, hot fashion trend, a breakout musical group, anything that’s extremely popular with others, most people want to be a part of it.

For example, a few decades ago, Cabbage Patch Kids were a hot item! Everybody had a cabbage patch kid- I had one myself. And anytime there’s a hot item that’s “all the rage,” everyone clamors to have it!

It’s the same in the social arena.

Everyone wants to hang with the “cool” crowd. This crowd may or may not be what you’d consider cool.

In fact, it might be the opposite but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that everyone else thinks they are. They want to be seen with them. Therefore, so do you.

Again, you want to do what they’re doing. Unfortunately, it’s also the same with bullying.

Consequently, if everyone else is bullying you, total strangers who have never met you will try it too. Even your so-called friends will also try to bully you.

Bystanders to Bullying:

Group Behavior

Why? Because “everyone else is doing it” and they want to join the in-crowd! Therefore, if bullying you is the happening thing, other people will want to join in.

However, know that when this happens, it has nothing to do with you. And it doesn’t mean that you somehow deserve the mistreatment.

What it means is that most people are followers and drones- sheep! They’re slaves to the prospect of fitting in with the majority.

In group settings, bullying you becomes a ritual with them. In other words, it’s the in-thing to do at your school or your place of employment.

The more you know about the psychology of bullies, the better you prepare. And the better you prepare, the better you can defend yourself.

Therefore, continue to stand strong even if you must stand alone. Defend yourself against these wackos, no matter what.

They may not change their behavior. However, you’ll feel better just knowing you saw these creeps for who they are and stood up to them.

This post is all about why bystanders to bullying join your bullies and how you should see them for the kind of people they are.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The 4 Stages of Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

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‘Want to know all about confident body language and all the ways you can look confident even if you don’t necessarily feel confident? Here are all the tips and tricks you need to know about.

confident body language

Confidence looks great on anybody! Even you! Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about confident body language and ways to look like you just won a million bucks!

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will not only look but feel better! Moreover, your magnetism will skyrocket!

This post is all about confident body language and ways to look confident so that you not only give your self-esteem a boost but your charisma too. And the best part is that you’ll less likely look like bully-bait!

Confident Body Language

The look of confidence can be the difference between being badass or being bullied. But before we talk about body language that make you look confident, let’s talk about the body language you should avoid.

5 Body Language Mistakes You Should Avoid

Bullies are always on the hunt for targets. Therefore, they look for signs in a potential target that screams “victim.” But, how do they do this?

Bullies will study your body language first and foremost. They also notice your emotional reactions to certain things.

In other words, they watch how you handle conflict and adversity. Here are all the negative body language moves and ways to correct them.

1. Lack of Eye-contact (Looking down or away)

Lack of eye-contact signals either dishonesty, or a lack of confidence. This is exactly what bullies look for.

Many victims of bullying get nervous in social situations. This is understandable.

When people have bullied you for long enough, you no longer feel safe in social interactions. Therefore, you’ll often avoid them altogether.

A little nervousness is normal. However, when you’re nervous to the point of avoiding eye-contact with others, bullies may notice.

As a result, they’ll peg you as a victim. Also, even people who aren’t necessarily bullies may mistake you for being deceptive.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to relax and look others in the eye when socializing. Realize that not everything is about you.

Make the interaction about the other person or people in the conversation. Smile. Act confident.

Yes, acting confident may seem fake. However, personal experience has taught me that if you act confident, you will soon feel confident.

And confidence is the best way to get through any social situation. Also, it lessens your chances of attracting bullies.

2. What isn’t Confident Body Language:

submissive body language

This includes poor posture, such as slouching and hunching down. Also, people-pleasing is another form of submission.

Behaviors such as shying away from saying what you want to say and not seeking to achieve your needs are forms of people-pleasing.

You must stop this behavior right now. Begin standing and sitting up straight. Stop trying to please other people. Instead, start achieving your own needs for a change.

Remember that you deserve, just as much as the next person, to have your needs and wants met. Therefore, start working toward your own goals. And to hell with the rest of them if they don’t like it.

3. self-protective behaviors (closed body-language)

Crossing of the arms in front of you and crossing your legs are both self-protective behaviors. So are hunkering down into the shoulders and hiding the neck.

Bullies will instantly notice this behavior from a mile away and think, “fresh meat!” when they see it.

Instead, open up and allow yourself to take up some space. Lengthen your neck and hold your head high. Relax. Always relax!

4. What isn’t Confident Body Language:

Having a Sheepish Look On Your Face

That includes downcast eyes, holding your head down, and looking bashful. Again, hold your head high.

Look people in the eye and smile. I guarantee you they will appreciate it when you do and think more highly of you.

5. trying to stay motionless to avoid drawing attention

This almost always gets you opposite results. Staying motionless won’t keep you from drawing attention. It just might get you the wrong attention- from bullies.

Therefore, you must move freely and I’m going to say it again… relax!

You must watch your body language if you don’t want bullies to spot you as a potential target. In fact, it’s the most important thing you can do.

If you catch yourself looking down, correct this by looking people in the eye or looking ahead. If it’s slouching you find yourself doing, sit up straight.

And keep doing this until it becomes second nature, no matter how long it takes. Why? Because body language speaks louder than words ever will.

Moreover, not only should you mind your own body language, you should also watch the bullies’ nonverbal cues as well.

11 Confident Body Language Cues

Close to ninety percent of our language is nonverbal. All too often, when bullies have attacked you for an extended period, your self-esteem and mental health suffer.

Even worse, people will see it in your everyday body language. You won’t realize it’s happening.

Consequently, most targets only attract more bullies and bullying. Why? Because their body language changes with time as they endure daily abuse.

In other words, the victim’s body language will transform from confident to diffident– meaning lack of confidence. This is the reason most victims have very few friends.

Why do most targets of bullying have difficulty making friends?

This is because, others can spot insecurity a mile away. And it makes it difficult to attract healthy people into your life.

You’ll only attract users and more abusers. Why? Because, human nature dictates that healthy people stay away from those who have low self-esteem.

If you aren’t confident, you’ll attract predators. And these people will only pretend to be your friends to exert control over your life and get something from you.

Moreover, nonverbal signals, such as lack of eye contact, looking down, fake smiles and closed body language make you appear unapproachable.

Confident Body Language:

It’s not your fault.

Naturally, this is not your fault. It is just something that happens after you’ve endured abuse for so long. However, here’s the good news!

Confident body language is something that you can learn. Moreover, it’s something you can teach yourself and practice.

And once you perfect it, you will instantly attract faithful friends and better people into your life. Also, you’ll begin to repel bullies and other human predators.

Here are 11 powerful tricks you can use to Look Confident and instantly win friends.

1. Smile! And smile genuinely!

Smiling at people shows that you approve of them. Also, it shows that you’re open to friendships.

Moreover, it conveys confidence and confidence is where it’s at! On the other hand, a fake smile is easy to spot and a major turn-off.

It only repels people and invites more bullying. Fake smiles only hurt more than they help.

2. Make good eye contact.

When you make good eye contact, you show others that you are genuinely interested in them. It also shows respect.

People love those who take an interest in them. Therefore, when you’re engaged in conversation with someone, look them in the eye.

Just don’t overdo it or you’ll seem creepy. Just find that happy middle.

3. Confident Body Language:

Stand up straight.

Bad posture, such as slouching and hunching, only conveys insecurity and low self-esteem. So, stand up straight and walk with purpose.

Also, throw in a few power poses when you stand. Feet should be shoulder-width apart, with your hands on your hips with your thumbs on the front of your waist.

This also signals confidence. Again, confidence keeps bullies away. When a bully sees someone do this, they think twice before messing with the person. Why? Because their body language is signaling confidence and, more importantly, power!

And if there’s one thing bullies understand, it is power!

4. Practice open body language.

This will instantly make you more approachable. Put simpler, open body language means facing the people you talk to and keeping your whole body turned toward the person you’re speaking to.

Also, look them in the eye when. When you do all this combined, you’re signaling that you’re interested in what the other person has to say.

5. Slightly lean in when you talk to someone.

Again, this shows that you are fully engaged and interested in what the other person is saying. However, only do it slightly to avoid invading your interlocutor’s personal space.

Make sure to do this properly and you will build rapport with the people you speak to. Also, they will be more likely to trust you.

6. Confident Body Language:

Nod when you agree with the person you’re talking to.

Nodding not only shows that you are listening and fully engaged. Also, it conveys understanding and agreement.

Therefore, it’s a very powerful form of communication and often gets amazing social results!

7. Use hand gestures when you speak.

Using hand gestures can help you to think and express your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Moreover, it conveys understanding, energy and warmness.

8. Relax.

If you want people to feel at ease around you, relax when you’re having a conversation with them. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who seems nervous and tense.

Not only does it weird people out, it sends the message that you might be trying to hide something!

Therefore, always relax around others. Having relaxed body language conveys that you’re comfortable and confident with yourself.

Moreover, it shows that you’re confident about them too. It signals trust. Therefore, others will be comfortable and confident with you.

9. Confident Body Language:

Hold your head up.

Holding your head down or looking down conveys low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Therefore, always hold your head high. Doing this says confidence and others notice.

Look like you feel good about yourself and your attitude will soon align with it.

10. Be aware of where your toes are pointed.

If you’re in a conversation with someone and your toes aren’t pointed toward them, it only conveys that you want to go elsewhere. In other words, it says that you don’t want to be with the person.

Now, some people don’t think about the feet. However, those who are the most aware of body language cues will.

Therefore, always stand with your feet and toes pointed toward the person you’re talking to. It signals that you want to move toward them – that you’re happy to see them and speak with them.

11. Make sure your body language is congruent with your words.

This is so important! If you’re saying one thing and your body language doesn’t match, you will come off to others as insincere.

As a result, they won’t take you seriously and will be repelled by you. Nobody likes fake. So, more than anything else, be sure that your nonverbal cues are in line with your verbal ones.

Confident body language is a must if you want to excel socially. You will be more charismatic. Therefore, healthy people will gravitate toward you.

This post was all about confident body language so that you can not only keep bullies away but attract healthy people and friendships.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. Confidence vs Arrogance

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

outsmarting bullies at work

Outsmarting Bullies: 3 Clever Ways that Expose Them

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‘Want to know all about outsmarting bullies so you can expose them in less obvious ways? Here are all the details you need to know about.

outsmarting bullies

You can outsmart a bully. However, sometimes, you must think outside the box and get creative to do it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the best ways of outsmarting bullies so that you can expose them without looking like you’re exposing them.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to draw your bullies out in the open and protect yourself from them.

Outsmarting Bullies

Sometimes, you must outfox them by drawing them out in the open. For instance, many bullies will pretend to be your friend just so they can get close enough to subtly attack you.

Let’s explain further.

1. To Draw Fake People Out into the Open, Make yourself Appear Weak and Powerless.

You may think you know all the people in our lives, especially those closest to you. However, most people aren’t who they make you think they are.

Therefore, in life, there will be fakers and imposter. There will be people who will infiltrate your inner circle and pretend to be your friends.

These people will latch onto you like a tick to a dog. Then, they’ll get close enough to you to figure out everything about you.

They’ll find all your soft spots. In fact, they’ll ferret out your  intentions, the most intimate details of your life, goals, and dreams.

Once they have all these thing about you, they’ll will work behind the scenes to sabotage and crush you.

But what if I told you that there is a clever way to draw all those rogues out? Moreover, what if I told you that it won’t be an easy thing to do?

In fact, it just might be the hardest thing to do. Why? Because it requires unshakeable confidence and self-belief.

Outsmarting Bullies:

Drawing  an enemy out requires unshakeable confidence.

What do I mean by this? Here it is.

Sometimes, you must play the loser and appear weak to make the people around you feel safe. Only then can you draw them out and trick them into removing their fake husks.

This is what you do anytime you have any shred of doubt about a person in your life.

‘You see? When people feel untouchable, they become brazen, and that is when you see their true nature. Therefore, to make them feel untouchable, you must give them the impression that they’ve already won.

I won’t kid you. This will be hard to do because it will feel like a huge blow to your pride. You’ll be ridiculed, people will gloat, and it won’t feel good at all.

In fact, it’ll feel terrible, even humiliating at times.

This is something most people wouldn’t dream of doing because, as I just mentioned, it’s downright terrifying. Nobody wants to know of any possibility that a long-trusted friend could turn out to be a snake. I get that.

It feels so much safer to live in denial and act as if everything is peachy king. Also, no one wants to look weak. It feels better to appear strong even if you’re not.

It’s a blow to the ego when we’re defeated. Moreover, it feels bad when we aren’t defeated but appear that way to the rest of the world. However, trust me on this.

Outsmarting Bullies:

You never find out who people really are until you’re at your lowest point.

Only when you’re at your lowest do you find out who’s really in your corner.

So, again, if you can make everyone think that you’ve been knocked on your tookus, you’ll be surprised at the snakes who shed their skins and reveal themselves. Moreover, some will be people you’d never expect.

And you don’t realize who your enemies are until the shit hits the fan.

Any time you appear at your weakest, not only will your enemies reveal themselves, they’ll be more emboldened to act against you. And when they do, they’ll do it openly!

Why will these people will be so open with their dirt? It’s because they’ll mistake you for being powerless to fight back.

However, realize that this is the only way you can get rid of all the dead weight. You do it by unmasking it first. After all, you must know who to get rid of before you can do this successfully.

Therefore, if you do this right, you can ensure your peace of mind in the future. In that, you can remove any obstacles to your progress and more easily achieve your goals.

More importantly, you can ensure a better future for yourself.

Therefore, any time you have doubts about a friend or two, make yourself appear weak and down and out. Then watch what they do.

It might not feel good at the time, but you’ll thank yourself later. Moreover, you’ll thank all the fakers for walking into your well-laid trap and showing you what lowlifes, they really are.

You’ll smile and hold your head high as you walk away and discard them into the trash heap of history.

2. Fake a surrender to bullies to trick them into leaving you alone.

Is there ever a time when you should surrender to a bully? The answer is yes! Or, at least, make it look like you’re surrendering to them!

In life, there are times when you should pick and choose our battles. In other words, you must decide when to fight back and when to leave well enough alone.

This is a must when your bullies are extremely powerful. Why? Because it isn’t smart to fight them and give them a chance to defeat you.

Sometimes real power comes with swallowing your pride and giving in to them first. When you do this, you’ll throw them off balance.

Moreover, you’ll enrage them because they were looking for a fight and they were so sure they’d get one. But they didn’t get it.

Outsmarting Bullies:

Don’t fight a battle you can’t win.

There’s no point in fighting an unwinnable battle. Showing weakness can be a strength if you know how to use it correctly.

When you make it look like you surrender, you give yourself time to recuperate and subtly torture and irritate your bullies.

You can sneakily sabotage your bullies in ways they’d never expect nor detect. You can get what you can out of the surrender, then fight later when your bullies aren’t so strong.

Believe it or not, bullies do eventually lose power.

Therefore, you don’t surrender because you give up. You do it to humor your bullies and lull them into a false sense of complacency. You do it to fool them into thinking they’ve won.

Understand that bullies continually try to show dominance and superiority. Therefore, if you make it look like you surrender to them, it’ll be so easy to trick them.

Being submissive to them for the time being satisfies them. Moreover, it makes them feel powerful. In this, the bullies become easier targets for a later countermove.

For example, You surrender, and the bullies let you walk away. But as you turn and walk away, you can cut a silent fart in their general direction.

And they won’t think it came from you. They’ll only be looking at each other and wondering who dealt it.

Silent ridicule works wonders for self-esteem!

3. Bait and trigger your bullies.

This may be scary to do but trust me. Get your bullies angry enough at you and they will come to you. In other words, play on the natural human tendency to react out of anger when pushed or baited.

Get your bullies to react to your moves. Make them pursue you because they only expend their own energy by chasing you. An added benefit to this is that it forces the bullies to act on your terms.

Also, when you trick them into pursuing you, you automatically fool them into thinking they’re controlling the situation.

However, there’s one requirement for this to work:

You must remain calm.

Calmness allows you to think more clearly. Emotions, on the other hand, block your ability to think and strategize effectively.

Outsmarting Bullies:

Lure your bullies to your territory or to neutral ground.

When you get your bullies to come for you, always get them on your territory. If you cannot get them into your element, then choose neutral ground. Never meet bullies on their turf! It’s much too dangerous.

If you can get them on your territory, you’ll keep your bearings while the bullies will be on the defensive. Why? Because they’ll be on unfamiliar ground. They won’t feel you pulling their invisible strings.

Make your bait so sweet that your bullies can’t refuse. Use yourself as bait if necessary. Do this especially if they’re so pissed off at you that they can’t see past their desire to “get you.”

Their intense rage will blind them to reality and they’ll be more than happy to come to where you are.

Moreover, the angrier they are, the more desperate they’ll be to get back at you. Also, the easier they’ll be for you to lead them by the nose. And you’ll lead them right into the trap that you’ve prepared for them.

But do it with caution.

If you can get your bullies to dig their own graves, you’ve already won. To quote Sun Tsu, “Never interfere when an enemy is destroying themselves.”

Weaponize Your Bullies’ Triggers

The trick is to use your bullies’ tactics against them! How you do this is to find what triggers their emotions, then use it to your advantage.

And why not? They’ve been doing the same to you for a long time now, haven’t they? As much as I hate to say it, sometimes you must play the bully’s game if you expect to survive.

I know this isn’t a pleasant place to be. It sucks! But sometimes, you must wade through crap to come out clean on the other side.

Outsmarting Bullies:

So, how do you weaponize your bullies’ triggers?

1. Get them in public.

In other words, get them in front of coworkers and supervisors, or classmates and teachers. Then very sneakily do something you know will trigger them.

Bait them into a reaction. Then stand back and watch with pleasure as the bully yells, screams, curses, and exposes themselves in front of everyone.

If you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction, record the outburst, and if you’re sure it’s safe, blast it all over social media.

2. Befriend others they have bullied (preferably people who’ve been fired or no longer have any contact with the bullies).

Then have them spread it all over social media. Give the bully the reputation they so deserve. Befriending others the bullies has harmed has a way of getting under their skin.

Bullies hate it when you talk to people they hate. Also, they especially hate it when all their victims unite and form a group!

This really ticks them off because, deep down, it intimidates them. Think about it, bullies always run in packs and they catch you when you’re alone.

However, when a group of target victims ban together, the bullies feel threatened. Why? Because they lose power.

Exposure is the best way to conquer bullies! So, out them! Better yet, trick them into outing themselves!

This post is all about outsmarting bullies so that you can expose them for the creeps they are and, at the same time, protect yourself from them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying: 13 Subtle Signs to Look for.

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‘Want to know how to recognize a victim of bullying? Here are all the signs you need to know about.

how to recognize a victim of bullying

If you look closely, you will recognize a victim of bullying. You will be able to tell it in their body language and the way they carry themselves.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to recognize a victim of bullying by reading their body language.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to help a person who is bullied. Moreover, you will be able to watch your own body language if you’re a victim yourself.

This post is all about how to recognize a victim of bullying so that you can not only monitor your own non-verbal communication, but reach out to other victims by recognizing theirs.

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying

There are certain things you see in a victim that screams just that… “victim!” If bullies can point out victim material a mile away, then why can’t people who aren’t bullies?

When You Look into The Face of a Victim of Bullying

If you pay close attention, you see the anguish. Also, you can see the desperately yearning to belong. They’ll have hopelessness and despair in their eyes. The victim will constantly wonder if things will ever get better.

You also see fear in their eyes. Moreover, it will come from knowing they could be physically or psychologically attacked at any moment. Maybe even killed!

Other times, you’ll see the sadness. The victim will want to cry. However, they won’t dare to. They’ll be too afraid of looking weaker than they already look to others.

You won’t hear the silent pleas for help. Why? Because most people won’t help victims. Therefore, they know that usually, help never comes.

Most victims have a lack of trust in humanity. How can you trust after people have let you down too many times?

Moreover, you’ll see the exhaustion. The constant battle can wear you out. Victims yearn for peace. They desperately want the war to stop.

They’ve forgotten what it’s like to relax, breathe, and not have to fight. But more than anything else, you see the determination to survive another day.

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

Know the Body Language of Targets

Bullies bully many of their victims long term.  Many do it over a period of years. Imagine what that does to the victims’ self-esteem.

Low self-esteem, sadly, comes out in a person’s body language.

Therefore, victims of bullying are nervous people. Is it any wonder they constantly walk on eggshells?

This goes especially in social situations. It’s why victims of bullying tend to monitor every action and every word that comes out of their mouths?

And why not? Bullies have beaten them down. In fact, they’ve stripped them of their entire person-hood.

You’re always on guard. And that’s a crappy way to live.

Are they nervous and afraid or are they lying?

It depends on context.

Consequently, people accuse victims of bullying of lying about the bullying they suffer. Why? Because people mistake nervousness for having something to hide.

If you ever read “Othello,” by William Shakespeare, you’ll get a clearer picture of this heartbreaking scenario.

Moreover, this is why people call this, “Othello’s Error.”

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

Othello’s Error

Othello’s Error often happens in police interrogation rooms and principal’s offices.

It comes from Shakespeare’s play, “Othello.” In the play, the main character, Othello, assumes that his wife, Desdemona, is having an affair.

In reality, Desdemona is innocent

He questions her in a aggressive and volatile manner. As a result, the poor wife becomes nervous. Even worse, the angry husband takes her nervousness as a sign of guilt.

Sadly, his often occurs in real life.

For example, bullying victims become nervous when someone questions them aggressively. The questioner then misreads the response.

They take it as a sign that the person is hiding something. Sadly, this is how many people take blame for something they didn’t do.

Most people view nervousness as a sign of deception and confidence as a sign of honesty and trustworthiness.

As we know, bullies are well-known for fake confidence and false bravado. However, victims of bullying are always nervous, and rightfully so.

Who wouldn’t be if they were constantly bullied and attacked?

People tend to rush to the narrative the fits what want to be true. Therefore, should it be any wonder that people blame targets and let bullies go scot-free?

Sadly, after this goes on for so long, targets learn to expect more of the same. And they usually get it.

In other words, the expectation of such treatment brings more of the same. So, the target grows more nervous with each occurrence.

And the more nervous the victim grows, the more suspicious others become of them. Therefore, people often make mistakes in the decoding. Not the observation!

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

13 signs a person is a victim of bullying

1. Lack of Eye Contact.

Because of severe bullying and abuse, many victims are too afraid to even look people in the eye. This goes specially for those on the Autism Spectrum!

Moreover, when people bully you to the point that you fear looking at them, it’s a terrible thing. Lack of eye contact can signal deception, yes.

However, it’s usually not the case with victims of bullying. When a person is suffering from bullying or any type of abuse, it usually conveys terror.

Therefore, we must look at context. We must ask ourselves these questions. “Have I witnessed others consistently bullying this person?”

“Are there other non-verbal signals from this person besides the inability to look at people?” This is where the ability to read clusters of body language comes in handy.

If the person is shaking, sweating, licking their lips and touching their neck, you might be able to make a more accurate guess.

Again, targets of bullying are anxious. Who wouldn’t be if they were relentlessly bullied?

Therefore, before you make snap judgements, assess the person carefully. Don’t automatically assume that the victim is lying.

2. Submissive Body Language

Many targets of bullying also display submissive body language. No surprise there. They have endured bullying so severe that they’ve learned to be submissive just to survive.

The submissive person has lost all sense of their worth. Moreover, they’re afraid to make their own decisions.

Why? Because they fear they might make the wrong one and be bullied worse for it.

3. How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

The Person is Overly Forgiving

Bully victims tend to be overly forgiving. Why? Because they want to rock the boat.

Rather than risk the chance of conflict, victims of bullying take the path of least resistance. It’s easier and less risky for them to go along with the abuse.

Think about it. They already get enough of it from their bullies, be it at school, work, or home. Therefore, the last thing these victims want is to do anything to make it worse.

4. Downcast eyes

In other words, victims of bullying may hold their heads down and look down all the time. Understand that this type of bullying only brings about more bullying.

Why? Because it’s a sign of low self-esteem. And bullies take notice right away!

5. They have a sheepish look on their face

These victims will usually have a sheepish look on their faces. This is a dead giveaway because a sheepish look conveys shame.

Therefore, bullies will read it and take advantage.

6. How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

Staying Motionless to avoid drawing attention

Many victims will keep from moving to avoid drawing attention. Bullies can see through this too. They see this as a juicy opportunity. Therefore, they’re likely to pounce.

7. Protective Behaviors

Victims of bullying often have closed body language.  They may cross their arms in front of their torsos. Also, they might cross their legs or hunker down into their shoulders, hiding the neck.

This signals self-protection.

8. Bad Posture

Another thing they do is display bad posture. They may slouch when they stand or sit in their chairs.

9. Over-Apologizing

You always notice a victim of bullying because the person apologizes for everything. Over-apologizing is the surefire sign of bullying and abuse.

Realize that you only apologize because you’re scared, not because you’re truly sorry. It’s a trauma response. The good news is that you can kick that habit if you want to.

10. How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

They’re too quiet.

Many victims are also afraid to talk to people because they’re afraid of saying something foolish or offensive and again getting persecuted for it

After being bullied for so long, you become fearful. Around people, you clam up, keep your eyes to yourself and go about your business.

However, it seldom works because bullies are like pit bulldogs. They can smell fear from a mile away. Being reserved and staying out of the way tends to bring more bullying.

They fear looking too friendly. Therefore, victims of bullying typically don’t bother to greet people. And people often mistake it for being stuck up or standoffish.

11. They fear being seen in public.

Victims are fearful of going out because they might run into the wrong people (bullies).

12. They’re Needy and Clingy.

Many victims of bullying will bend over backwards to win friends. They’ll do desperate things to win approval and even put up with shoddy treatment.

You’ll be able to point these people out easily. Why? Because they’ll crawl behind people who don’t value them.

However, they only repel good people and attract bullies when they do these things.

13. They’re People Pleasers.

Most victims of bullying try to please everyone because they think it wins them approval. They’ll say yes when they really want to say no.

Moreover, they’ll put up with disrespect just to avoid conflict. In short, they’ll have no boundaries, which only invites more disrespect.

Victim body language is easy to see

The body language that victims display is so easy to spot. However, most people in authority either ignore it or don’t consider it.

Also, this is the body language that attracts bullies, users, and abusers!

Bullies can pick up on this body language from a mile away. And they will instantly think, “target!” and take full advantage. Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying, you must watch your body language.

It won’t be easy. However, if you want to stop looking like bully-bait, you can do it. I believe in you.

All you have to do is catch yourself displaying any of the above nonverbal cues. Then, you can correct it.

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

Stop Looking Like a Victim

Don’t be the victim your bullies need to feel powerful.

When you catch yourself slouching, sit or stand up straight. If you see that you’re looking down, hold your head up and look straight ahead.

Also, uncross your arms and legs. Start making eye contact with people. And when people do you wrong, don’t be so forgiving.

Begin seeing your worth and setting boundaries. Lose the sheepish look and replace it with the look of confidence.

Do these things and your situation will likely improve. Realize that you don’t need permission to be yourself. You have every right to exist!

Things may get worse before they get better. However, it’ll be worth it in the long run. I guarantee it.

This post is all about how to recognize a victim of bullying so that you can better pinpoint victim body language in others and in yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

2. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

3. Neediness: 5 Reasons It’s Unhealthy and How to Overcome It

4. Disadvantages of Being a People Pleaser: 7 Consequences of Putting Yourself Last

5. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

the psychology of bullying at school

The Psychology of Bullying: 7 Things that Motivate People to Bully

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‘Want to know the psychology of bullying and all the motivations behind it? Here are all the reasons of bullying you need to know about.

the psychology of bullying

To understand and combat bullying, you must first know the psychology of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the psychology of bullying and all the things that motivate people to bully. Moreover, you will learn the goals and intentions behind it.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be better equipped to defend yourself against it.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying so that you become a powerful weapon against any bully who tries to attack you.

The Psychology of Bullying

Straight up. Bullies reap many psychological rewards from bullying their victims. Moreover, it’s those rewards that motivate bullies to bully.

If you’ve fallen victim to bullying, you must know what the motivators for bullying are. Once you know these things, you’ll no longer continue to rack your brain, asking yourself, “Why me?”.

Moreover, any confusion and bewilderment will disappear and you’ll be compelled to stand up for yourself.

7 Things that motivate people to bully

What motivates bullies to bully you? Here are your answers.

1. The Desire for Power, Domination, and control.

Bullies crave power. However, the only way they can get it is by abusing their victims. In other words, the only way they can feel powerful is by dominating and controlling you.

To bullies, it’s an addiction. Power is like a drug to bullies. It gives them a rush but wears off quickly. Therefore, they’ll always come back for more.

You must realize that your bullies will never stop bullying you until you stand up to them.

2. The Psychology of Bullying:

To Cover up Truths that Make Them Uncomfortable.

Bullies may bully you because you may represent facts they don’t like. You may be an authentic person who sees through their bullshit.

Or, you may be the type who tells it like it is. This scares your bullies because there’s a chance you could call them out on their bullshit.

Therefore, they try to intimidate you into staying quiet.

Bullies aren’t concerned with facts. Especially when those facts threaten them.

For instance, let’s say that your bullies have spread all kinds of lies about you. Understand that your bullies already know the truth. Oh, yes!

They’re fully aware that you aren’t who they say you are. However, here’s the thing.

The truth doesn’t fit their narrative. Therefore, they’ll go out of their way to make the falsehoods look true. Realize that your bullies benefit from ruining of your reputation. And they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those benefits.

It takes a ton of work to cover up lies and half-truths. Why? Because bullies will tell the first lie and have to put out a second lie to cover up the first.

Then they’ll need to lie a third time to cover up the first two lies about you.

Lies have a way of building. They build so much that it soon becomes hard for the bullies to keep their stories straight. I mean, seriously! After so long and so many lies, who can keep up with all that?

Therefore, the best thing you can do is stay calm and play your hand correctly. Do this and your bullies will eventually spin themselves into their own web and get stuck in it.

Then you can sit back and watch them fall into the trap of their own making.

3. The Psychology of Bullying:

A Bully needs a victim.

Bullies need victims. Why? Because, to appear almighty and powerful, bullies must have someone to subjugate.

If bullies don’t have someone to dominate, they won’t know what to do with themselves. Therefore, don’t be that person.

See the bullying for what it is. It’s only your bullies’ attempts to seem powerful. Then, stand up to them. You must defend yourself, even if you must put up your fists and fight!

Once you begin standing up for yourself, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift.

In other words, you’ll automatically tip the scales of power in your favor. And you will cease to be a victim. Remember that the best way to dis-empower your bullies is to re-empower yourself.

Once you stop being a victim, your bullies will no longer have power over you. As a result, they’ll leave you alone and go search for another victim.

4. Sadism and Schadenfreude.

None of us want to admit that there are such people out in the world. However, there are people who get sick pleasure from another’s suffering.

They get even more pleasure if the sufferer is someone they despise. Therefore, the cold hard truth is that most bullies bully because they enjoy it.

They get their kicks from it. In fact, they relish it! Think about it, if they didn’t enjoy it, they would never bully.

And let’s face it. Nobody does anything of their own free will that they don’t enjoy. Ask yourself this question:

Unless someone held a gun to your head, would you do something- anything at all, that you did not enjoy? You wouldn’t because it goes against human nature.

Therefore, no one does anything unless there is a payoff of some kind in store for them. Most bullies bully because they love to inflict pain on another person.

Realize that to sadistic people, bullying others is like pulling the wings off a ladybug then watching it squirm. Moreover, these types of bullies will come back to bully you again to keep getting that pleasure.

These types of bullies don’t just get their pleasure from bullying you. They also get it from watching you react to the pain.

For instance, psychological bullies will taunt and verbally abuse their targets just to get a reaction from them. The reaction could be crying or anger.

And the more the target looks like they are suffering, the more the bullies harm them. Sadistic bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water.

5. The Psychology of Bullying:

Fear.

Bullies fear losing power over you. Whether it’s physical attacks or smearing you, every bit of it is proof that they feel threatened.

Moreover, your bullies feel that they’re losing the battle for power or about to lose. Therefore, they double down on attacking you to reinforce their power over you.

They work twice as hard to keep you under their thumb. This often comes in the form of retaliation because you stood up to them.

In other words, you defended yourself. And the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force.

Why? Because, you just might start a huge trend and inspire others to stand up to them too. Then, the bullies would lose all respect, status, and authority (power).

6. Resentment and Revenge.

Again. When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, you only make them look like punks. This goes double if you do it in front of an audience.

Therefore, this is another reason bullies will retaliate. They do it to punish you. Moreover, this punishment is designed to subdue you and keep you under their power.

To save their “tough” reputations, your bullies must take revenge. Revenge is, is punishment for you and justice for your bullies.

Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Understand that bullies are entitled little twits.

They need gratification and satisfaction. And when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

However, don’t cave in. Realize that any time you stand against evil, it always gets worse before it gets better. Therefore, don’t give up. And don’t give in.

Be just as determined to defend yourself as your bullies are to subdue you. In other words, when they double down, so do you.

7. The Psychology of Bullying:

Deception.

Bullies have an image to keep up. And they want to look tough. In other words, the bullies are trying like the devil to cover up the fact that you’re winning the power war against them.

Think about it. If you were truly losing, they would act indifferent toward you. Your bullies wouldn’t need to become aggressive. It wouldn’t be necessary to go on the attack because you would be no threat to them nor the image they portray in public.

Therefore, they wouldn’t give you the time of day. Bullies, particularly those with narcissism, always discard those they deem to be losers.

On the other hand, threats must be contained. Those bullies see as threats are a lot of hard work. They require many attacks for the bullies to restore their power, be that power image, social status, or even physical status.

Therefore, if a bully is incessantly attacking you, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you. And it isn’t because you’re weak.

It’s because you pose a threat to them somehow. Moreover, that threat may or may not be so obvious. It may be subtle.

For example, the bully may pick up on something that isn’t so visible. Maybe, it’s an inner strength you have that they can’t quite put their finger on.

Nevertheless, you must continue to defend yourself. The last thing you want to do is back down from these assholes.

Continue to stand strong. Refuse to tolerate their abusive behavior. Keep fighting no matter how hard things get.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying to relieve any confusion or bewilderment you may have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

2. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

3. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

4. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

Bullying and First Impressions

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‘Want to know about bullying and first impressions? Here’s why first impressions can determine whether you become a target victim of bullying.

bullying and first impressions

I cannot tell you how important first impressions are. Down through the ages, many have said that first impressions last forever and that you never get a second chance at it. They were right!

In other words, first impressions often determine whether or not bullies find you as a good target.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and first impressions and the reasons first impressions often lead to bullying.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to see the relation between the two and make a better first impression the next time you move to a new job, school, or community.

This post is all about bullying and first impressions and how they connect so that you will have the tools to protect yourself from bullying… before it happens to you.

Bullying and First Impressions

Bullies need victims! And, believe it or not, first impressions can determine whether people in a new environment accept you or bully you. Let’s use scenarios and examples to elaborate on this.

New Kid in Town

For instance, you move to a new town and new school where nobody knows you. Your dad just got out of the military and you’ve lived all over the world. Therefore, your family decides to settle in the town Dad lived in before he left for basic training.

The town you move to is a small town in a small district with small schools. You begin middle school in this small town. Therefore, you’re the new kid in town.

You’re the person who no one knows. Naturally, this makes you a little nervous.

During the first few weeks, you make a terrible first impression on your new classmates. Moreover, you do it without even realizing it. Another thing that you don’t know is that you’re going to pay for it for the next 5 years.

It isn’t your fault. After all, you’re only thirteen years old and you’ve lived a comfortable life as a military kid. And the life of a military brat is much different than living life as a civilian in a small town.

You’re navigating completely new terrain now.

Bullying and First Impressions:

Fresh Meat to Local Bullies

You’re friendly to everyone. Maybe a little too friendly. Other than a few incidences of harmless teasing, you’ve had no issues at any of the other schools you attended before. So, there’s no reason not to trust people.

However, you’ve caught the eyes of a group of local bullies and they seem to watch every move you make. The bullies approach you on your first day at the new school. They ask you questions and some of those questions don’t feel good.

You only answer the questions you feel comfortable with, trying to be polite. However, you notice that the bullies approach you again, later that week. Moreover, the bullies threw a few subtle taunts your way.

But you only ignore it and walk away. As the weeks turn into a month, the taunts grow more frequent and less subtle.

However, you continue to blow these creeps off, ignore them, and walk away. Also, you try to make friends with the other students because you don’t want to be the lone wolf.

A Bad First Impression

There’s your first mistake. You didn’t stand up for yourself when these creeps began bullying you. In fact, you didn’t even respond. You only ignored it and walked away.

However, being the new kid, you’re afraid of getting in trouble with school staff. Also, you’ve been taught by your parents that decent young ladies don’t fight.

However, everyone else is already socially established here. You’re an outsider. Therefore, they don’t want your friendship.

The bullies notice this too.

Bullying and First Impressions:

The Bullying Continues to Escalate.

Here’s your second mistake. Being overly friendly! And because you’re so friendly, the other kids mistake you for being a fool. The bullies see your kindness as weakness. To them, it looks like you’re seeking approval.

You may make a few so-called friends. However, they aren’t true friends. They only allow you in their group because they only feel sorry for you. Or worse, they may do it to pump you for information with which to report back to the bullies.

Another month passes and now, your bullies are verbally assaulting you. They begin accusing you of things you know nothing about.

Next, they start threatening to beat you up. Therefore, you try talking your way out of confrontations. Or worse, you begin lying your way out. But where does that get you?

Your third mistake is that you cry easily. To your sadistic classmates, this is another sign that you’re weak. To others, it’s a sign of manipulation.

You catch on to this rather quickly. Therefore it does take you long to change these behaviors and learn to mask them. However, it’s a little late for that.

Once A precedent has been set, it’s too late to change course.

Throughout your first year, the bullying slowly intensifies. Your bullies soon grow bored with the verbal attacks and begin what you would call borderline physical attacks.

They may start by “accidentally” running or bumping into you in the hallways. Next, they’ll begin tripping you as you’re walking by.

Once they get bored with that, they move on to more obvious physical assaults.   Your bullies (and maybe others) begin shoving you. The shoving then progresses to hitting, kicking, and punching.

Finally, you suffer brutal beatings by bullies and their new followers. Moreover, a few others who normally don’t bully join in.

During your first year at your new school, you’ve just gone through the first three stages of bullying. But you finish your first year and get a reprieve when summer arrives.

Bullying and First Impressions:

Others who wouldn’t normally bully anyone begin to join in.

Before long, your bullies begin signaling to the rest of the school that you’re easiest to bully.  They recruit bystanders to unite with them and join in the torment. And they this through rumors, accusations, and smear campaigns.

Moreover, they also threaten anyone who associates with you. And, one by one, others begin turning against you. Even those kind kids who normally wouldn’t bully anyone.

As time goes by, more and more people turn their backs on you until you have no support system left.

Now, you have become radioactive. In other words, no one wants to associate with you because they know they’ll be next if they do.

Therefore, to ensure their own reputations don’t take a hit, everyone avoids you altogether. Even worse, they become willing participants in the attacks. These kids become secondary bullies.

The Second Year, Bullies Pick Up Where They Left Off.

By the second year, you’ve passed to the eighth grade. You’ve had the summer to heal and reflect on what you could’ve done differently to keep bullies away.

Therefore, this year, you’ve toughened up considerably. But, by now, the dynamic has already been set and firmly in place.

The physical bullying then escalates to a climax. People seem to be standing in line, waiting on their turn to have a boxing match with you.

Though you’ve begun fighting back to defend yourself, you don’t earn respect for it. Instead, people only become outraged and resent you for it. Why? Because they’ve grown comfortable with abusing you.

And once people get comfortable with abusing you, they’ll only double down on it when you stand up to them.

As a result, you get involved in many fights. Just trying to defend yourself and keep from getting hurt! Consequently, the number of physical altercations causes teachers and staff to label you a troublemaker.

Teachers and school staff label you “a problem.”

Others have bullied you for so long, they’ve grown comfortable with it. In fact, they’ve grown so accustomed to being cruel that they don’t have to think about it. It becomes the knee-jerk action every time they see you.

Moreover, bullies and their recruits may go home and tell their families horrible lies and rumors about you. The family members then spread the word to the people they know at work, the supermarket, etc.

Next, the coworkers, friends, and extended family members pass it on to their families. As a result, the lies about you spread throughout the entire community.

Thus, they completely decimate your reputation. And everyone meets your reputation before getting the chance to meet you.

Understand that people do this deliberately to create a toxic environment for you. In other words, they lay the groundwork for an environment that doesn’t allow you to receive support, make new friends, nor rise above bullying.

Finally, any opportunities you may have had are severely limited or lost completely.

Bullying and First Impressions:

When Bullying Becomes Mobbing

Bullying becomes mobbing when it reaches the late stage! The abuse has snowballed into a dangerous situation.

At this stage, you are at the mercy of every one. Also, bullies face no accountability. And when there’s no accountability for abuse, there are no limits to it.

Therefore, people can now escalate the abuse at will. This is the stage that bullying has become life-threatening.

Everyone in the community hates you. These people want nothing more than to see you suffer. The “good people” of the community have no idea why they hate you. Moreover, they’ll never be able to tell you exactly what you did to deserve it.

Therefore, all they know is that they loathe you and have an intense desire to destroy you.

Furthermore, people expect you the take the abuse because they think you deserve it. Any attempts to defend yourself will only bring more outrage.

In fact, they won’t even allow you to question the abuse. Talking back to them when they verbally attack you only leads to physical retaliation.

Any self-defense will only bring outrage.

Also, talking about the bullying to people outside the dynamic gets back to your bullies. And they retaliate by physical means.

Standing up to your persecutors, won’t get them to leave you alone. Moreover, people who’ve never met you wish to attack you. It becomes a case of “you don’t know me, but I know you.”

This stage is the most dangerous because everyone around you becomes deranged. Also, they get so emboldened that they don’t try to hide their hatred anymore.

And why not? They’ve gotten away with their abuse for so long. They know they have no incentive to stop the attacks.

This is why bullying and first impressions are interconnected. And it’s important to make the best first impression you can possibly make. Sometimes, that means standing up to bullies the first time they try anything funny!

Bullying and First Impressions:

Why Standing Up to Bullies Doesn’t Work in The Late Stages

Why is that? Because, by then, people have grown so accustomed to abusing you. Therefore, any self-defense on your part takes them out of their comfort zones.

People love their comfort zones and they’ll do anything to stay in them. Therefore, they’ll only retaliate when you stand up to their bullshit.

And you’ll end up fighting a constant battle which will wear you down.

If you’re a kid in school and you’re in this stage, a school transfer will be the best thing for you.

If you’re an adult and you’ve reached this stage, now is the time to leave. Pick up and move to a different area. Moreover, tell no one where you’re going or even that you’re moving.

Whatever the case, just find a way to quickly and quietly disappear because your life may depend on it. It’s the only way the bullying will stop.

If you relocate, you’ll get a fresh start. You’ll have a chance to reinvent yourself and move on to peace and prosperity. In other words, you’ll get a chance to rebuild your life. You’ll begin to flourish, and create a better world for yourself.

But why not defend yourself in the early stages and save yourself years of trouble?

Bullying and First Impressions:

First impressions are everything!

Why? Because they set a precedent – a pattern for the future. If bullies get away with bad behavior once, they’ll repeat it again and again.

Also, when they get a particular reaction, they will come back for more of the same later. Without realizing it, you teach people how to treat you.

It doesn’t take long for impressions to take root and became expected. And when they do, it’s tough to change. This isn’t to say that it’s impossible. However, it won’t be easy.

Changing a social dynamic takes a truckload of patience and consistency.

Therefore, you must firmly stand up to bad treatment when it first begins. Why? Because, when you assert yourself in the early stage, others will likely respect your right to be treated well.

They’ll either leave you alone or began treating you better.

So, always set and enforce your boundaries when the bullying begins. Never let it go on for any length of time. Confront the bullying early.

The sooner you do, the easier it will be to assert your rights and avoid retaliation.

This post is all about Bullying and First Impressions so that you will know to stand up to bullying when it first happens and make a good impression when you do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

2. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

3. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

incivility vs bullying at work

Incivility vs Bullying

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Incivility vs bullying. ‘Want to know the difference between the two? Here are the many ways they differ.

incivility vs bullyingMany people mistake incivility for bullying.

In the post, you will learn the difference of incivility vs bullying. Also, you’ll learn how to tell which is which.

Once you learn all this important information, you will be better able to see the difference when they happen. Moreover, you will know how to respond more appropriately.

This post is all about incivility vs bullying. Also, it teaches you the patterns and behaviors to look for in each so that you can more accurately call it out.

Incivility vs Bullying

In life, you’ll deal with difficult people. You will meet many jerks who act rude and obnoxious. However, just because a person is rude doesn’t mean they’re bullies.

Everyone deals with incivility but not everyone gets bullied.

Incivility is a part of life. Bullying, on the other hand, is sick and twisted. Although a jerk’s behavior is hurtful and negative, it doesn’t mean they’re bullying you.

Therefore, when is hurtful behavior classified as bullying? How do we tell the difference between bullying and incivility?  Also, what is the difference between a jerk and a bully?

Before we go any further, let’s define bullying.

The Definition of Bullying

Bullying – an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical, and/or social behavior that intends to cause physical, social, and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening

(https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-parents/definition-of-bullying/)

Incivility vs Bullying:

The Misuse of the term “Bullying”

In today’s climate, people use the word, “bullying” too loosely. Moreover, they use it to describe situations that don’t fit its use.

In fact, many stick the label to anyone who says anything they don’t agree with. They often confuse bullying with anything someone says that they don’t like.

Therefore, we have a duty to give the proper definition of bullying. Moreover, we must learn to differentiate bullying from other forms of conflict.

All too often, people confuse bullying with:

  • Disagreements and truthful debates
  • Misunderstandings
  • Stubbornness
  • Incivility and jerky behavior

Sadly, bullying has become a blanket term. People use it to describe anyone who says or does anything they don’t like.

Sure. There are those who are jerks. However, it doesn’t necessarily make them bullies.

Therefore, when society sticks this label where it doesn’t belong, it deprives people of the right to have their own opinions. This is wrong.

So, what are the differences of incivility vs bullying?

1. Bullying Requires a target Victim. Incivility Doesn’t.

Bullying requires a target! In other words, bullies single out one person to abuse.

Anyone, at any age, can fall victim to bullying. Also, there is evidence that suggests that child and teen targets are more likely to grow up to be bullied, adults. A few don’t, but most do.

Incivility, on the other hand, doesn’t need a target. The uncivil person just has a rotten attitude and the behavior is random. In other words, the person is just a jerk and their meanness is aimed at everyone.

All bullies, regardless of age, deep down at their core, are cowards! A jerk just doesn’t care. Period.

Again, bullying requires a target victim. Take the victim out of the equation and bullying ceases to exist. Incivility, on the other hand, has no particular target person. An uncivil person is mean to anyone.

In other words, bullies target you specifically. People who are uncivil treat everyone like dirt, not just you.

2. Incivility vs Bullying:

Bullying is a pattern. Incivility Isn’t.

As mentioned in the last section, bullying is a pattern. It repeats itself over and over. Incivility, on the other hand, is sporadic.

In other words, bullies repeat the behavior against you. There’s a reason why bullies repeat their behavior. It’s to tear down your confidence and make you doubt your worth.

The repeated attacks serve to brainwash you and convince you that you have no value. Think about it. Tyrannical governments also brainwash their target people with repeated attacks.

Therefore, there’s a reason for the repetition. Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth. Repeat a behavior often enough and it becomes normalized. Bullying operates the same exact way.

On the other hand, Incivility isn’t repeated, especially against the same person. Again, jerks  direct their vicious attitudes toward all kinds of people.

3. Bullying Lasts a Long Period of Time.

  Not only do bullies repeat their attacks against the same individual or group. They also do it over a long period of time (usually from 3 weeks to several years). Therefore, it is relentless.

Bullying is long-term because it takes time to take the desired effect on the victim. In other words, targets of bullying don’t break down overnight. The breakdown is almost always a cumulative result of bullying.

Incivility, on the other hand, doesn’t last long at all. In fact, it only requires a one-time occurrence.

For example, you’re driving and you accidentally pull in front of someone.

They lay on the horn and scream, “Watch where the hell you’re going you moron!” That’s not bullying. It’s incivility.

4. Incivility vs Bullying:

Bullying is a Campaign with a goal. Incivility Has No Particular Goal.

Bullies often persuade others, even total strangers, to join in on tormenting you. They go around defaming you to anyone who’ll listen.

They do this to isolate you by lessening your chances of making new friends and destroying your existing relationships.

The goal of bullying is to isolate, demoralize, and destroy the target victim. Therefore, bullies start by employing smears to destroy the target’s good name and standing in a community.

Moreover, it can tear down their relationships, family, career, finances and businesses. Consequently, the cumulative result is that bullying ruins the target’s self-esteem and their life.

5. Bullying is personal.

As mentioned earlier, bullies require a target. Also, bullying requires an agenda and vendetta. Bullies will actively pursue you and make it their mission in life to destroy you.

Uncivil people, on the other hand, have no agenda nor vendetta. Therefore, they don’t care who you are or where you come from. They just have personalities that suck. These people are just jerks.

Jerks treat everyone in general, like dirt. Moreover, they only insult you because they don’t want you to bother them with anything.  They’ll never put in the time or effort to pursue anyone.

Jerks are equal opportunity dirt bags.

A jerk just doesn’t care about anyone. Period. This kind of person is just afraid you might want something from him. On the other hand, a bully wants something from YOU.

Examples of Incivility vs Bullying:

Jerky Behavior.

If a 6’5” tall and muscular knucklehead on the street bumps into you and says, “Hey, idiot! Watch where the hell you’re going!”, then keeps walking. That’s not bullying.

Is the person a total jackass? Absolutely. However, he isn’t necessarily a bully.

Bullying would be if he deliberately ran into you and shot his mouth off to you every day, every time he saw you on the street. In other words, he’d have to repeat the behavior and continue to harass you.

Only then would this be a case of bullying. Why? Because the knucklehead would be using his size and height to intimidate you. Also, he’d be repeating the behavior every day.

Voicing an Opinion.

Kathy and Kelly live across the street from each other. Kelly asks Kathy what she thinks of her new next-door neighbor. Kathy answers, saying, “I think he is an arrogant, egotistical jackass.”

Kathy is not a bully. Is she highly opinionated? Yes. Is she an asshole? Probably. But she’s not necessarily a bully.

However, if Kathy continues this behavior for a length of time, then yes. She would be a bully. If she smears the new neighbor to everyone in the neighborhood to turn everyone against them, then you could call it bullying.

Incivility vs Bullying:

Arguments and debates.

If two people are arguing over different beliefs, it’s not bullying. This goes even if the argument is heated.

However, incivility becomes bullying when one of the arguers begins repeatedly calling the other names and shaming them because they don’t share their beliefs. Moreover, if the person continues to harass the other long after the debate is finished, then, yes, it’s bullying.

To protect yourself from being falsely labeled a bully, you must know what constitutes bullying and what doesn’t. Only then will you be able to distinguish between each and correct anyone who tries to stick you with that label.

And you will do it confidently.

THis post is all about the differences of incivility vs bullying so that you can better recognize the differences between the two and call out bullying when you see it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

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‘Want to know about all the ways bullies respond when you begin speaking out about bullying? Here are all the truths you need to know about.

speaking up about bullying

Many targets of bullying have had their voices stolen from them. They’re intimidated into keeping silent while others abuse and take advantage of them.

However, you can’t bite your tongue forever. Therefore, in this post you will learn what to expect once you begin speaking up about bullying.

Once you learn all these possible responses your bullies will make, you will be better prepared to confidently address it.

This post is all about speaking up about bullying so that you’ll be prepared for your bullies’ reactions and to deal with it bravely and confidently.

Speaking up about bullying

Make your voice heard when the bullying first begins.

Why? Because it will eventually come spewing out. After a while, you will snap and the stress will be as lava pouring out of an erupting volcano.

For instance, you’re calm, and people see your calmness as a weakness. Bullies began to notice how laid back you are. Therefore, they presume that if they keep violating your boundaries, there will be no consequences.

The bullying always starts subtly at first- so subtly that you don’t even notice you’re being abused.

Over several months, the bullying slowly escalates until you finally snap and show your ugly side. However, when you respond to the bullies and their audience in kind, people only use your perfectly justified human reaction to demonize you. Therefore, they make it look as if you’re mentally unstable.

But, why do they do this?

It’s because you didn’t address the bullying when it first began. In other words, you didn’t stand up for yourself in the early stages.

As a result, your bullies and everyone else have grown comfortable with abusing you. Moreover, once people become comfortable with any routine, it’s almost impossible to stop them no matter how you defend yourself.

By then, the bullying has become iron clad and taken a life of it’s own. Therefore, it’s too late to do anything.

Again, this is why you must speak out when the bullying first begins. I can’t stress this enough.

Bullies will push you and push you. They will keep digging at you until you snap on them. Then once you bite back, everyone is suddenly offended, and deems you the bad guy!

Therefore, I want you to understand that this is all a part of the bully’s playbook. The more you know, the better you can predict their behavior, and the more you’ll be able to beat these monsters at their own game.

Speaking up about bullying:

Why victims stay silent

It’s because they can’t name what’s happening to them. Sure, they can feel it and see it. However, they can’t put an actual name on it because they don’t know the names of the tactics and how to describe what’s happening.

Being able to put a name on the abusive tactics takes a lot of research and study on abuse. Why? Because bullying is abuse and abuse is bullying.

Both bullying and abuse involve a power imbalance and repeated behavior. Therefore, they’re one and the same.

Why you Should learn to name each bullying tactic

The reason why we should know the names of the tactics is this. When there’s no label to put on it, it’s much harder to explain to others. Moreover, when you can’t name something, you tend to ramble.

And because you ramble about it, people are less likely to believe you when you speak out.

There’s nothing more frustrating than to know something is happening and not know how to name it. It’s as if you have an invisible gag over your mouth. Moreover, it feels like some higher force is trying to silence you and protect your bullies and abusers.

It’s the most frustrating and downright infuriating thing in the world!

Speaking up about bullying:

The Term, “Gaslighting.”

For example, let’s use the term “gaslighting.”

Even today, many people have never heard of gaslighting. Therefore, they don’t know the proper name of the emotional manipulations they may be facing.

In other words, they don’t know that it’s called, gaslighting. All they know is that what others are doing to them feels horrible. Moreover, it leaves them feeling that, somehow, they’re always in the wrong.

Therefore, they don’t know how to fix it because they don’t know what’s broken.

Yet, in the innermost parts of their soul, they know differently. Inside, they know they’re not always wrong. However, because they can’t put a name to it, these people can’t describe what was happening to them.

Therefore, it’s much harder for them to speak out without rambling and looking like they have a mental disorder.

Learning all you can about bullying is crucial.

With that said, it’s important that you read, study, and research everything you can about bullying. Moreover, find out and study the key terms for each bullying tactic.

In fact, learn all you can the names as well as the descriptions of each tactic. Why? Because, once you do, you will be able to effectively speak out about the bullying and abuse you suffer. Also, you will be able to more effectively counter the abuse.

 Realize that if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will expect you not to open your mouth about the abuse. Moreover, even bystanders and authority will want you to stay silent. Why? Because, in most cases, they will automatically side with the bullies.

However, it still doesn’t mean you must be quiet about it. Remember that bullying thrives on silence and standing up for yourself is paramount.

Understand that speaking up shows strength and bravery. And know that you’re well within your rights to do so.

However, when you break your silence, you must be prepared for the following responses bullies and others will give.

Speaking Up about Bullying:

8 Responses to Expect from Your Bullies and Possibly, Everyone Else.

1. “You’re being too sensitive.”

See this response for what it is – a classic gaslighting statement.

Understand that when people respond this way, they’re only shifting the blame to you. Moreover, they’re trying to shame you into keeping quiet about it.

Those who respond this way may be friends or followers of the bullies. Or, maybe they have a personal interest in keeping you quiet, such as the reputation of the school or company.

It could be that these people see your bullies as “good for the school’s or company’s reputation.” Also, the bullies may be family members or close friends of these gaslighters.

However, don’t be ashamed to speak out. You must keep the pressure on even if the bullying gets worse. This is how you set boundaries.

Understand that things usually get worse before they get better but they will get better.

2. “Just Ignore Them.”

This is another classic but worn out response. However, ignoring them never works.

Realize that bullies will only become angry at being ignored and escalate the bullying. Also, they may mistake your ignoring them for fear.

And if a bully gets in your face, how do you ignore that? It’s impossible. You might think that the best way to handle it is to put your hand up and walk around the bully.

 This isn’t necessarily a bad response. However, how do you know the bully won’t come after you and attack you from behind once you’ve walked past them?

When people tell you to ignore the bully, you must understand what they’re really trying to say. And what they really mean is one or more of three things:

They either don’t want to hear about it, don’t want to deal with it, or don’t have any answers themselves.

Therefore, keep speaking out. It’s how you set boundaries and setting boundaries is crucial in bullying situations.

3. Speaking Up about Bullying:

“Toughen up.”

Again. The people who could help you don’t want to get involved. So they put it all on you. And really, they’re not wrong. Protecting yourself against bullying IS your responsibility because chances are, no one will help you.

However, by telling you to toughen up, they’re shifting the blame onto you. Also, they don’t stop to think that, when they tell anyone to toughen up, they’d better be prepared to break up a fight.

Why? Because that’s your green light to tell the bully to shove it up his you-know-where or haul off and knock the idiot’s block off.

Then when they try to reprimand you for defending yourself, you can then use it as leverage. You can say, “Well? You told me to toughen up, so I did!

Therefore, you should do that!

Or, you can respond by saying, “No. It’s not about toughing up. It’s about asserting my right to be treated with decency and I don’t have to take that mess.” And when you say it, say it with conviction.

4. “Get over it.”

People do this to invalidate your experiences with bullying and your thoughts and feelings about it. Therefore, you should respond by saying, “No. You need to get over your denial that bullying happens here.”

Or, if it’s one of your bullies who tells you this, you can respond by saying something to the tune of, “No, you need to get over your assholery and your need for control! I’m not taking this crap anymore!”

5. Speaking Up About Bullying:

“Don’t be a crybaby.”

Bullies and their flying monkeys give this response to shame you into silence. Don’t let them do that. Tell the bully that they’re the crybaby because they’re afraid of being exposed.

Or, you can tell them that if they keep it up, you’re likely to make a crybaby out of them.

Whatever you do, don’t let it slide. Don’t react, but do respond.

6. “Stop whining.”

Again, this is another attempt to shame you into shutting your mouth. Therefore, come up with a response to counter this.

7. “Don’t be a tattletale.”

This is, yet, another attempt to shame you. Therefore, respond accordingly.

8. “Maybe you should just stay out of their way.”

Understand this. You don’t have to tip-toe around anyone. Neither must you bite your tongue to appease bullies.  And …you shouldn’t! Therefore, again, respond accordingly. Never take the blame for someone else’s bad behavior! Ever!

Speaking Up About Bullying:

In conclusion:

All of the above, so-called nuggets of advice are only meant to shame and silence you. Bullying is no different from any other form of abuse. It thrives on secrecy.

Therefore, if you don’t speak out about it, the bullying and abuse will only continue and escalate.

I realize that getting these kinds of responses makes you feel even worse. Moreover, there’s a temptation to clam up and burrow back into your hole. But don’t!

You must refuse to keep quiet about it!

So, keep speaking out about it. When people give you any of the above responses, that’s when you should only double down. Therefore, dig your heels in and speak louder! Why? Because only when a problem is addressed does it have the potential to be solved.

Keep speaking about it and setting boundaries!

It may get worse before it gets better. However, things will improve in the long run, it you continue to speak against the bullying.

And no matter the outcome, you’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing you took a stand.

This post was all about speaking up about bullying, the gaslighting you should expect, and how to stand up to it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

what do bullies fear most at work

What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

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‘What do bullies fear most,” you may wonder. You may even wonder if they have any fear at all. But, trust me, they are the biggest cowards of all. Here’s everything that frightens them the most so you can use it to your advantage.

what do bullies fear most

Bullies often put on an air of invincibility. They display false bravado and arrogance. However, we all know they’re the biggest cowards in the world!

In this post you will have all the answers to the question, “what do bullies fear most?”. This will prompt you to find ways to use it to your advantage.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be better able to counter bullying and bully-proof yourself.

Once you read this post, you’ll no longer wonder, “What do bullies fear most?”. These answers will be the arsenal you need to protect yourself against the onslaught of bullying.

What do Bullies Fear Most?

‘Ready? Let’s get right into it!

1. Being Exposed

Bullies get by only on appearances. The fronts they put up are only illusions and mirages. Moreover, without the facades they work so hard to maintain, they have no leg to stand on.

Therefore, the constant threat of exposure weighs heavily on them. Understand that the lives of bullies are filled with cracks that just might expose who they really are.

Think of these cracks as smoldering hot spots that threaten to blaze again. Bullies are forever running around pouring buckets of water on these hots pots.

They have to bust ass to make sure these hot spots don’t ignite.

Also, they must continuously struggle to maintain control of everyone and everything, and that’s not easy.

Bullies know that once their real personality seeps through, people will lose respect for them and they’ll lose power. And if they lose power, their mistreatment of others will come back to bite them in the ass… hard!

2. Looking Weak

Anytime you defend yourself, you become a threat to the bullies’ power. Why? Because you automatically put them in positions of weakness. This goes double if you confront them in public.

In other words, stand up to them in front of an audience, then you really make them look like punks. As a result, some bullies will retaliate to reinforce their dominance over you.

But wait, there’s another point here. When you make your bullies look weak by standing up to them, you just might start a new trend! You may embolden others others to stand up to the bullies too.

Ouch! Just the mere thought of this is painful to bullies!

Courage has a way of spreading and, once it spreads, the bully loses power. Bullies know this. Therefore, they double down by retaliating to re-enforce power.

3. What Do Bullies Fear Most?

Taking Risks

Bullies are highly insecure. Therefore, you’ll never see them take risks. They’re too cowardly.

Realize that bullies put up facades and bullshit their way through life. Again, they get by on appearances. That’s it!

Instead of taking risks and working hard to get ahead, they lie, cheat, steal, connive and scheme to do it.

4. Getting their Asses Kicked

This applies mostly to physical bullies who believe in using their fists to get what they want. Moreover, these types of bullies often believe that kicking ass is what makes a person tough and gets them respect and admiration.

Therefore, they fear running up on someone who’s a little tougher than them and getting their butts handed to them. Especially in front of people!

It’s not so much that they fear the physical pain of a good ass-whipping. It’s the humiliation and the blow to their ego that they fear most.

Moreover, they fear looking like weak little wusses. They also fear that once someone gives them a good beat down, it just may shatter their tough guy reputations and set their own asses up to be bullied.

5. What do Bullies Fear Most?

Being humiliated in public

None of us want humiliation. However, to bullies, being humiliated is the end of the world. Understand that bullies like to be A-1 best… at everything!

Moreover, they crave to be the center of attention and for all humans to worship the ground they walk on. If you humiliate them somehow, it threatens their god-like status and shatters their facade of invincibility.

They know that humiliation just might be the final nail in the coffin to their image of perfection. As a result, it may throw them of their pedestals in the eyes of everyone else.

Gasp!

And don’t think they won’t take revenge on you if you ever cause them to look bad.

6. Losing Their High Social Status

This goes especially for bullies who are popular. Their social capital is their power. Therefore, if they lose that, their power goes with it!

And they know it!

7. Losing Control over you

Bullies fear losing power over you. Why do you think they double down on their attacks when you finally begin standing up to them?

It’s because, anytime you defend yourself, your bullies feel that they’re losing the power battle. Or, they’re about to lose.

Therefore, the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force. Why? Again, because if you stand your ground and begin refusing their attempts to walk on you, you just might inspire others to do the same.

As a result, you might cause them to lose  all respect, status, and authority (power).

8. What Do Bullies Fear Most?

Looking foolish

Bullies have big egos. Therefore, they don’t only want to look tough or attractive, they also want to look smart. Again, bullies want to be the best at everything, or, at least, look like they are.

If you make a bully look like an idiot, whether it’s through a good response to their attacks or a dirty trick to embarrass them, they will retaliate with the fury of Satan.

Again, the bully’s facade is that of perfection. And if you shatter their false image, look out!

9. Being Alone

Bullies are like wolves. They usually run in packs.

Strength does come in numbers. Therefore, bullies are notorious for having an entourage behind them when they attack their victims.

A group of bullies always has a ringleader, or main bully. The ringleader keeps the other group members on standby not only to intimidate you but for protection in case you stand up to them.

You must realize that bullies are cowards. Therefore, they will never have the sack to fight alone.

Moreover, social science has proved that comradeship is born when two or more people can find something (or someone)they dislike. In other words, a group must have a common enemy they can all share a passionate hatred for.

And if members of the group do not feel they can get solidarity any other way, they will find or create an enemy they can all united against.

Therefore, they may single you out and harass you for purposes of group unity. If it’s the only way they can forge camaraderie among the other bullies in the group, than why not?

Put another way, they use you as a vehicle for interaction, ingratiation, and bonding.

Again, uniting against an enemy ensures group solidarity. Each member takes turns bullying you because they know that the rest of the pack expects them to.

Therefore they commit the harassment to ‘fit in’ and get rewards of group unity at your expense. Today, we call this “pack mentality” or “herd mentality.”

And sadly, most people will do anything, right or wrong, to follow the rest of the herd.

10. What Do Bullies Fear Most?

That you’ll outshine them

Understand that bullies are highly jealous people with fragile egos. Moreover, they feel threatened by anyone who outshines them in any way.

Therefore, any success you achieve will threaten their power. Moreover, it would crush their egos. You must realize that bullies can’t handle any success of someone they deem inferior to them.

They’ll tune out anyone who brags on you for a success or accomplishment well done. They’ll downplay your achievements.

Why? Because, again, your success is a huge threat to their power. Your achievements put cracks in their superiority. They’ll do anything to block out anyone who gives you praise.

However, this is what bullies do. They put up mental walls to block any threatening messages and info. And they do this to keep anything from penetrating their grandiose sense of self-importance.

Moreover, they support those walls by hurling ugly names and insults at you.

Bullies won’t tolerate being overshadowed by a little peon like you. No. Never! So, if you ever score a huge win, expect your bullies to punish you for daring to upstage them.

Workplace bullies are notorious for bullying those who outshine them at work.

How you use your bullies’ fears to your advantage is to do the things they fear most. Speak out. Call them out on their behavior. Stand up to them and do it in public if you must. Find ways to weaponize your bullies’ worst fears!

This post gives you all the answers to the question, “What do Bullies Fear Most?” These answers allow you to have knowledge of the bully’s weaknesses so that you can weaponize them and use them to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

2. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

3. Cliques and Bullying: 3 Dirty Secrets Cliques Try to Hide

4. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

why bullying goes unpunished at work

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished: 7 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

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‘Want to know why bullying goes unpunished? Also, do you want to know why you should stand up for yourself? Here’s everything on this subject you need to know about.

why bullying goes unpunished

It’s not only about punishing bullies. It’s more about teaching victims to stand up for themselves. Granted, yes, we must expose bullies and make them take responsibility. That, we can all agree on.

Bullies may be punished and severely so. However, there’s no guarantee they’ll will learn from it and leave you alone. In fact, it almost never works. Why? Because in most situations, when a bully is caught and held responsible, it only further angers the bully.

Moreover, it makes them that much more vindictive and determined to retaliate against you later.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullying goes unpunished. Also, you will learn why it’s up to you to stand up to them and take back your power.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be prompted to begin defending yourself and take your life back.

This post is about why bullying goes unpunished and why you should stand up to them and take care of yourself.

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished

All too often, schools and workplaces ignore reports of bullying and won’t protect you. This happens more than we know.

In other words, people in power ignore you when you report that you’re being bullied. Moreover, they may re-victimize you be trivializing your experiences or worse, blame you for the bullying.

They may ask you what you did to make the bullies act out. This is the worst thing authority members do.

Therefore, you must realize that most workplaces and schools only sweep bullying under the rug. It happens all the time. Therefore, if people bully you, chances are slim to none that others will help you.

Here’s the sad truth about people, in general. If it isn’t happening to them or someone they care about, in most cases, they don’t care. It’s just the cold, hard truth we need to accept.

Here’s why most managers and school officials won’t punish bullying. And why it’s up to you to defend yourself.

1. The Bullies are in positions of power.

In other words, the bully could be a teacher, principal, supervisor, manager, or even law enforcement. If the bully is a kid in school, they may have a parent or family member in a position of power.

Anytime the bully is in a powerful place, it often takes an act of congress to hold them responsible for any damages.

Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up to them. And how you stand up to bullies in power is to set boundaries. Also, document every bullying incidence in detail.

Therefore, you must defend yourself even against bullies who are in power. It’s easier said than done, yes. However, it’s about self-preservation and you have a right to defend yourself when someone crosses your boundaries.

2. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

Staff is lazy.

Investigations take work. Therefore, most school officials or HR employees don’t want to take the extra effort.

They may take the easy way out by denying that bullying happens in their school or company. Moreover, they may accuse you of perpetuating the bullying.

If it’s a case of school bullying and your parents get involved, the school may label your parent as “that parent.” However, you must understand that this is a cop-out.

Again,  defend yourself. Continue to set boundaries. And always document every incidence of bullying.

3. School Staff may be afraid the bullies’ parents will retaliate.

Most bullies learn bullying behavior at home. Many bullies learn by watching their parents bully other adults. Understand that many of these parents are self-entitled. Many hold high positions and think this gives them carte blanche to bully other people.

And they will bully teachers and school staff if they have the audacity to hold their little darlings accountable for bad behavior.

Moreover, bullies may also know powerful political connections in town. They may also be a member of the school board. Therefore,  they have made the school staff fully aware that disciplining “the wrong kids” could get them booted out of their jobs and entire careers.

Again, self-preservation. Write everything down! Document! And if your bullies get physical, put up your dukes and defend yourself!

4. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

People are afraid for the company’s or school’s reputation.

Schools are notorious for trying to hide cases of bullying. Why? Because they prioritize their reputation over the well being of the children and teens.

Companies are the same way. They usually ignore you, while keeping the bully informed that you’ve ratted on them. Therefore, again, if you report that people are bullying you, don’t expect them to help you.

Most institutions know good and well when someone is bullied. However, they may consider them a threat. In worse cases, they may ostracize or try to silence the person.

Moreover, those who are bullied have less power then others. So, it’s much easier for them to ignore the bullying and pretend that there isn’t a problem.

This is why it’s so important to document and do your own investigation. Never expect anyone else to do the investigation for you.

5. They either don’t like you or they hate you.

Sadly, many people have negative attitudes about the bullied and abused. Although these are people who are in positions to help you, they don’t. Instead, they allow their personal feelings override their humanity.

Moreover, bullies are notorious for spreading many lies and ugly rumors about you. Bullying and  defamation go hand in hand. And once they destroy your reputation, your chances of getting help drop significantly.

Why? Because those in power hear the lies and rumors as well. Therefore, they aren’t beyond making judgements based on what they’ve heard. Also, they may be afraid that helping you would cause them to lose their high positions.

Additionally, those in power, may even join in on the bullying. You may be one of the most goodhearted people around. But in most cases of bullying, the rumors and lies  supersede the truth about you.

Therefore, in the minds of everyone around you, you’re “trouble.”

Understand that lies and rumors are powerful. They’re so powerful that they keep you locked in a prison of scrutiny and suspicion.

Moreover, bullying makes you a nervous wreck. Therefore, you cannot be your true, awesome self due to the stress bullying causes.

I can’t stress this enough. Defend yourself. Do your own investigation. Document everything so that you’ll have a record of patterns of bullying.

6. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

they didn’t like the way you responded or reacted to the bullying you suffered.

In other words,  because of chronic bullying, you may have reacted out of self-defense and exhaustion. You were so tired because bullies harassed you for so long that you really couldn’t help but to react.

Your bullies may have slyly used your reaction as proof that you have a mental imbalance. Therefore, other may think the worst of you.

Moreover, they may also think that because everyone else hates you, there must be some reason that justifies it. They may say, “Well, if you aren’t provoking it somehow, then why do so many people hate you?

Therefore, they believe you must somehow deserve what is happening to you.

Consequently, when someone in power does not like you, they may either refuse to help you. In worst cases, they may secretly take pleasure in seeing you suffer.

Therefore, realize that those in authority are just as capable as the bullies of hating and hurting those they deem undesirable. In fact, because of the powerful positions they hold, they’re more capable of it.

Again, document everything! Keep a personal record of everything that happens just in case you have a tribunal or take it to court.

7. The bullies are High Performers.

They may be athletes, cheerleaders and high academic achievers. Moreover, they may be candidates for college and schools strive to crank out college-bound students.

Understand that these kids make the school look good. Star athletes on sports teams win games and help the school team reach the playoffs. This only further bolsters the school’s image. The same thing goes for cheerleaders.

They enter regional and state cheer competitions and if they win, the schools’ reputation goes up. Therefore, the cheerleaders appeal to the self-interest of the school and school district.

It’s the same with companies. If workplace bullies excel in job-performance, they make the company lots of money. Therefore, it will be difficult to report them and convince the higher-ups to hold them accountable.

If anything, they’ll only blame you and label you the troublemaker. Why? Because, in reporting their best students or employees, you’re putting the entire school or company at risk of losing out.

This is how they’ll look at it. Therefore, document!

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

What you can do if you’re the victim of bullying

When authority does nothing about bullying, it’s up to you to protect yourself.

Therefore, document each incidence of bullying when you get home. Moreover, do it while the incidents are still fresh in your mind.

I can’t stress this enough. Keep your documents at home. Never take them to work or school. Bullies are nosy and they will rummage through your stuff when your back is turned. The last thing you want is for them to find your documentation.

Also, you can wear a hidden body camera or hide an audio recording device on you. However, be sure you know what the laws in your state allow before you do this.

If you live in a one-party consent state, cameras and recording devices are legal and you can use them. On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you must have the permission of the people you record before you can use them.

And you know that bullies will never allow you to record them. This goes without saying. Moreover, if you do record them and the laws in your area don’t allow it, your bullies will pounce on the opportunity to sue you.

Therefore, it’s best that you only document the bullying. However, there’s another way you can gather proof. And that is to screenshot and save any incendiary messages and comments your bullies may leave on your social media pages.

Moreover, save any bullying emails, and test messages.

The more proof of bullying you collect, the stronger case you’ll have if you must take it to the school board, company tribunal, or to court.

In Conclusion:

Too many people have been conditioned to believe that self-defense is wrong. It isn’t. It’s essential for self-preservation and everyone has a right to it.

Therefore, we must stop depending on school staff, company managers and politicians to come rescue us when bullies run amuck. You must realize that people in power won’t help you. Why? Because, unfortunately, bullies run much of the world.

So, again, you must stop depending on a rescuer because no one is coming to save you. You must save yourself. You must learn to protect yourself against bullies. At the end of the day, your safety and your dignity are your responsibility, no one else’s.

You have a right to defend yourself. You have a right to take care of yourself. So, begin doing it today!

This post was all about why bullying goes unpunished so that you can start protecting yourself against bullying and take responsibility for your own safety and well-being! You can do it! I believe in you!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

4. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

inside the mind of a bully at work

Inside the Mind of a Bully

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‘Want to take a peek inside the mind of a bully? Here’s exactly how they think when it comes to their targets and victims and how you can use it to protect yourself from them.

inside the mind of a bully

If you’re a target of a bully or a group of bullies, you must understand that they perceive you as their enemy. Moreover, this goes even if you haven’t done nothing to them. Because, chances are, you haven’t. In fact, you may pose no threat to them whatsoever.

However, the point is that, in their minds, you are a hated enemy and they refuse to see you as anything but.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what goes on inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it to defend yourself from them.

Once you learn all about this very important information, you will know more of what to expect from bullies and how you can use it to your advantage and stay a few steps ahead of them.

This post is all about what you’re likely to find inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it for self-preservation.

Inside the mind of a bully

Again, you are the enemy. Period. Moreover, even as the bully is ritually torturing you, even if you’ve done nothing to deserve it, that bully still see you as the adversary.

Therefore, they think you should just take the abuse. And once you speak out about the bullying, a bully’s enmity will only increase exponentially.

Once bullies get a fix on you, you are all they can focus on because they feel threatened. You see, hate creates this kind of obsession in any bully. And it’s difficult for them to get rid of.

Bullies and abusers only see from their own perspective. Moreover, their perspective has you as an opponent for them to punish. You’re a threat they must contain, even eliminate.

A bully or a group of bullies isn’t concerned with the fact that their anger and hatred are irrational. They don’t think that they’re destroying a fellow human being much like themselves. Moreover, a bully doesn’t think of you as a human being with thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

You must realize that bullies are oblivious to the fact that the impetus of their violence comes from the primal part of their brains.

Why? Because, only one things matters to a bully. And what matter is that, right or wrong, you are the enemy. In other words, they view you as evil and they want revenge.

Therefore, your bullies have no inhibitions of destroying you because they think they’re the good guys. In that, they think they’re doing the right thing by destroying you.

It’s human nature. Evil enemies must be annihilated.

Inside the Mind of a Bully:

In their minds, you owe them respect

And when you don’t show the bully the respect they feel they’re entitled to, they must punish you. Moreover, if you don’t show it in the way bullies think you should, they also become enraged and seek to destroy you.

The power-dynamic between you and your bully is always zero-sum. They feel you deserve nothing but hostility and abuse. However, in contrast, you owe them respect.

In other words, they believe you should respect them as they abuse you.

From the bully’s perspective, you must atone for their flaws, shortcomings, and evil by lying down and “letting” them abuse you.

Moreover, bullies expect you to take it with a smile and a yes sir or ma’am, even ask for seconds. They also think you should be thankful that they don’t make things worse on you.

This is the mentality of bullies.

The Possibility of you standing up to them threatens them.

Why? Because, if you stand up to your bullies, there’s a risk that everyone who sees you will question their power! With bullies, it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about hierarchy.

“We’re in charge here! You’re not and you should shut your mouth and do what we want!”

In other words, you’re lower on the social hierarchy. Therefore, if you grow balls and challenge them by fighting back, you’ll likely humiliate them in front of everyone and make them look like punks!

You bullies can’t have that. Therefore, the constant torment they inflict on you isn’t only punishment. It’s the constant reinforcement of power. In other words, it’s to keep you from even thinking about defending yourself.

When you do clap back at your bullies, they’ll do one of either two things.

They’ll get the message that you’re no longer a victim, leave you alone, and go find another victim. Or, they’ll only double down on their abuse. Many bullies only intensify the abuse until they wear themselves out and decide you aren’t worth the trouble.

Or, they may wear you down. If they wear you down, the bullying will only get worse.

Therefore, you must continue standing your ground.

Inside the mind of a bully:

Most bullies are relentless.

Once you begin standing up to a bully or group of bullies, you must be consistent with it. Why? Because most bullies are relentless. In other words, you cannot stand up to them only one time and expect them to leave you alone.

Taking a stand only one time doesn’t win their respect. In many cases, it makes your bully angrier and the bullying gets worse before it gets better.

Again, it’s not about right or wrong. And it isn’t about fairness. Bullies view fairness as sappy fairy tales for babies. It’s about hierarchy and, by standing up to them, you just disrupted the social order.

Therefore, the bullies must intensify the bullying. They must teach you a lesson. Moreover, they must fight even harder to subdue you to keep their place in the social hierarchy.

‘You see? In their minds, you’ve forgotten who you are. You’ve gotten too big for your britches and too smart for your own good. Moreover, you’ve forgotten your place and you don’t know when to leave well enough alone.

However, what this really translates too is that you’ve become a threat to your bullies’ positions on the social totem pole. Therefore, they must contain the threat – you!

This is not only to teach you a lesson. It’s also to make an example out of you. In other words, it’s to let everyone else in the environment know that if they try anything like you did, or if they help you in any way, they’ll be next.

Realize that bullies have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. Therefore, standing up to them one time won’t work. Your bullies will only bully you harder, at first, to get you to submit.

Do bullies know they’re Bullies?

In most cases, YES!

Moreover, they’re damn proud of it. Why? Because, unfortunately, most people believe it’s cool to be cruel. You must accept this fact because, it’s just the truth of the messed-up world we live in.

The sad part is that the higher someone climbs, the more you see of their ass. In other words, the higher up the social hierarchy most people rise, the more brutal they are.

Why? Because the popularity and social capital serve to insulate them from accountability. Moreover, it gives them other perks like power, prestige, and influence. Therefore, they also have plenty of other powerful connections. This gives them liberties and favor that no one has access to.

Power like that is just too delicious to give up. Moreover, outside of their positions in the social arena, your bullies have nothing!

Therefore, they grow more arrogant and brazen with their bullying and abuse. However, if they ever lose face and fall to the bottom of the social hierarchy, the landing will be exponentially more brutal.

Why? Because of how they treated others when they were on top. Bullies know that if that ever happens, the humiliation will be unbearable and others will likely eat them alive!

In other words, the bullies will become targets themselves and oooh, the shame! Therefore, your bullies become desperate and will fight even harder to keep their social status!

Again, this is not the time to back down! Keep standing your ground!

Inside the mind of a Bully:

What to expect

Here’s what you can expect your bullies to try after you defend yourself and defeat them for the first time.

1. They’ll threaten the other people in the environment.

In other words, your bullies will let everyone else know that they can expect to be bullied too if they dare get out of their places.

2. Pit your friends against you.

If your bully can turn your friends against you, all the better. They may do this by accusing them of being in on your rebellion with you. Moreover they may defame each of your friends and try to turn others against them as well.

Understand that this is how your bullies use peer pressure to get your friends to turn on you. And once they do, your friends might blame you for dragging them into you and causing them to become targets.

Also, your bullies will try to make it impossible for you to make new friends.

However, understand that bullies do this strictly to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Therefore, keep standing up for yourself no matter what. And cut off any friends who turn on you because they were never your friends to begin with.

Do you really want a bunch of cowards as friends? I sure wouldn’t!

3. Inside the Mind of a Bully:

Send henchmen to physically harm you.

If they aren’t physical bullies, or, if they are and you beat the crap out of them in self-defense, your bullies will likely send others to do their violence for them. Moreover, most seasoned bullies are too smart to do something so obvious.

They’d rather not get their hands dirty. Therefore, instead of getting blood on their hands, they send a lackey after you. In fact, when the henchman catches up with you, your bullies won’t even be there.

Instead, they offer the roughneck the right incentives and send him. However, this happens only in extreme cases.

Even then, you must continue to stand up for yourself. But in cases like this, it’s better to get the police involved. But if you have to fight, do it like your life depends on it. Don’t back down.

Remember, you should never back down because, once you do, the bullying will only continue to escalate.

when and where does it stop?

It doesn’t. Bullying only gets worse until somebody dies or leaves the environment.

Therefore, if you’re a target of a bully, understand this. It doesn’t matter what the bully thinks. Neither the bully nor anyone else has a right to violate your boundaries, physical nor psychological.

I want you to know that you have a right to learn, work, or live in a safe environment. Moreover, you have a right to be in a nourishing environment that allows you to flourish. And you owe respect to no one who hasn’t earned it.

Bullies or anyone else who deliberately sets out to hurt you does not deserve anything from you. Understand that you must value yourself enough to put yourself first.

If someone is abusing you, you have every right to take care of yourself. You have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to walk away from the person.

If you can’t walk away- if the bully won’t let you walk away, then you have a right to defend yourself. Realize that you are valuable, and you matter just as much as the next person.

And everyone has flaws, not only you. If anyone bullies you, then they have no business coming anywhere near you. Always remember that.

This post was all about what’s inside the mind of a bully so that you can know what to expect and use it to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. A Bully’s Perspective: What Your Bullies Want to Say to You 

2. The 4 Stages of Bullying

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

4. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone