Do you want to know the absolute best ways to stop being a scapegoat? Here are the best defenses you must know about.
Scapegoating is the most harmful and alienating experience a person can endure. If you’re being scapegoated like I was, chances are that you’re wondering what to do to put a stop to it. As someone who has been there and overcome, I’m giving you the most powerful ways to stop being a scapegoat that worked for me and others I know.
You are going to learn about the 5 best ways to stop being a scapegoat and, ultimately, take back your life.
After learning about all these smart strategies, you are going to finally take back your dignity and peace of mind.
This post is all about the 5 best ways to stop being a scapegoat that every victim should know.
Best Strategies to stop being a scapegoat
1. Learn what scapegoating is and how to recognize it when you see it.
The first step of defense is knowledge. In other words, to stop being a scapegoat, you must know what scapegoating is and be able to spot it when those around you are trying to make you one.
So, what is scapegoating and who are scapegoats?
According to Cambridge Dictionary, scapegoating is the act of blaming a person or group for something bad that has happened or that someone else has done. In other words, the scapegoat is made to bare the burden of someone else’s wrongs and is punished in the guilty person’s place.
Scapegoating also happens when others take all their anger, frustrations, hurts, and other issues out on you. In essence, they’re punishing you for the crappy hand life is dealing them whether or not you caused it.
Projecting or projection is another term for this type of scapegoating.
Here’s an example of scapegoating:
A football team loses the big game. Afterwards, they blame the bench warmer for the loss, even though it was the quarterback who failed to tackle the opposing player before he got to the goal line, or, maybe another teammate fumbled the ball, which cost them the game.
I’m not real football savvy here, but you get the point.
Scapegoats and scapegoating go all the way back to the Bible days. During the Old Testament, people gave burnt offerings of lambs to cleanse themselves of sin.
During the Medieval Period, being a scapegoat would put a target’s life in mortal danger. Kings used scapegoats to cover their own mistakes and wrongdoings. They would do this by forcing the scapegoats to take the blame for the kings’ screw-up and put them to death.
Executing the scapegoats serve two purposes. It kept them quiet and ensured that the kings continue to smell like roses.
People, especially bullies, do the same today, only in different ways. Also, the scapegoat is always the person who is totally innocent and one who has the least power to fight back.
2. Set boundaries.
Being a scapegoat comes with being bullied. If you set boundaries, however, people are least likely to bully you. Therefore, there’s also less chance of you being a scapegoat.
Setting boundaries is a must, though not always easy, especially if you’re a victim of bullying. However, you must continue to have boundaries, otherwise, others will only ride roughshod over you.
“What is setting boundaries?” you might ask.
It’s clearly communicating to others what you will and will not tolerate and what they can expect from you if they violate one of your boundaries.
It takes confidence to set boundaries, which, sadly, is something a few bullying targets have. Moreover, bullies don’t respect boundaries because they don’t acknowledge them. Therefore, you may need to prepare yourself to fight to protect your boundaries.
But, I want you to know this. Having boundaries is not wrong nor is it selfish. Neither is expressing the freedom to be yourself and asserting your right not to be violated
If you have no boundaries, you get no respect.
However, any time you don’t set boundaries, you give up your rights to be treated with dignity and respect. You end up looking like a simp.
People will only take advantage of you and, over time, they will get comfortable with doing so. Even worse, you will come to be known as the poor sucker that everyone can crap on and attract more of the same from total strangers.
In that, you make yourself susceptible to being a scapegoat and target of bullying.
Being overly friendly, overly accommodating, and too available does not win respect. It will only does the opposite because people will take your kindness for weakness. In short, you hand over your personal power.
Whereas, when you do set boundaries, you enact your autonomy and speak from a place of self-care and self-love. In doing this, you take your personal power back.
when you set boundaries, you take back your personal power
Again, setting boundaries won’t be easy. In fact, it will probably make some people angry. However, understand that if people become angry at you for having personal boundaries, it’s because they’re afraid they’ll no longer be getting the benefits they’ve enjoyed… benefits they’ve been getting at your expense!
Moreover, you not only set boundaries but you also need to enforce them!
You must have the courage to keep setting those limits no matter how others feel or how they react. If your boundaries offend people, tough cookies.
Stick to your guns. Keep fighting for your right to be treated with respect. Show them that you will stand up to them no matter what they do, and eventually, they’ll get tired and realize that you aren’t worth the effort. They’ll go find an easier target.
So, always set boundaries and be prepared to fight to protect them.
3. If you want to stop being a scapegoat, you must refuse to engage with the people who scapegoat you.
In other words, if others blame you for things that happen that are beyond your control, it’s time to walk away for good.
If they try to blame you for something they or someone else is guilty of, refuse to accept blame and tell them to take a walk. Then never speak to them again.
Also, if people are constantly projecting their own wrongdoings and shortcomings onto you, don’t associate with them any longer. They’re a waste of your time.
Realize that you are not a dumping ground for all their baggage. So, have nothing more to do with them. Give them the old heave-ho because they do not deserve a place in your life.
This may be difficult to do, especially if the people who scapegoat you happen to be members of your family. However, if you want to stop this abuse, sometimes, it means making a few heartbreaking decisions.
4. If you want to stop being a scapegoat, you’ve got to Rock it!
Grey-rock it, that is!
Grey rocking a bully means showing no emotion toward their behavior and only giving short, one-word answers to them. It also means to keep minimal contact with them. In other words, you wait long periods of time between seeing them and wait a long time before answering their texts.
In short, it means acting like you just don’t care what they say and having a little interacting with them as humanly possible.
Although this can be easier said than done, and the bully may or may not lose interest and go away right then, it’s a good tactic if your goal is to stop being a scapegoat.
You may have to repeat it again and again before your bullies will get the message, but, if nothing else, you’ll feel better about yourself knowing you finally took back your coconuts and stood up to the creeps.
5. Practice Self-Care and Compassion.
How you do this is to practice making affirmations to yourself every day. Say to yourself, “I am not the guilty party,” or “I will not be a victim of their blame game,” “I am a good person regardless of how they treat me,” or “I am perfectly fine without them.
Also, establish a support network. Choose genuine people as friends and keep company only with those who lift you up. Dress however makes you feel good. Treat yourself to a pampering session at a nice spa or a new hairdo or hair cut.
Do the things that you love doing and that make you feel alive. Work on your hobbies and pursue your goals and dreams. The trick here is to work on you and to give yourself the love and care that others aren’t giving you. Self-care is great because it can help counteract the negativity your bullies throw at you.
This post was all about how to stop being a scapegoat, giving you steps to help you assert your right not to be blamed for other peoples’ behavior or mistakes, and take back your personal power.
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