when victims of bullying snap on their bullies

When Victims of Bullying Snap: What Really Happens?

November 4, 2025October 31, 20256 Comments

‘Want to know what happens when victims of bullying snap? Here is what happens when victims of bullying get fed up with the abuse.

Many victims become so fed up that they blow up on their bullies and beat the brakes off them. I’ve seen it happen, and it isn’t pretty.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what happens when victims of bullying snap and why they do it. This is so that you will not only recognize when you’re about to snap, but also when another victim is about to explode.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to stop it before it happens.

This post is all about what happens when victims of bullying snap, so that you can get a handle on it before you lose control of your emotions.

When Victims of Bullying Snap

Oftentimes, victims endure bullying for so long that the sadness builds until it turns to rage. People can only be pushed so far. And when someone pushes you over the limit, you snap and get out of character.

No one can endure bullying and abuse and stay quiet and polite forever. Human beings have their breaking point. And when a victim reaches their limit, things can become dangerous very quickly.

your give-a-damn has burst

If you are a victim of bullying, you will eventually get fed up with people’s crap. Then…BOOM! You snap at someone who pushed you over your limit.

Believe me, I understand, and if this has happened with you, I cannot fault you for it. I empathize with you wholeheartedly.

It’s not that you want to fight. In fact, you hate fighting. However, if you’re a 5’4”, 120 lb. teenage girl with a target on her back, what do you do? Stand there and let them jump you?

Like most targets, I too hated to fight, but there were times I didn’t have a choice. It was either fight or let them beat me within an inch of my life.

Not only would the girls try to jump me, but the guys would too. And sadly, most of those redneck brutes had no qualms or reservations about beating up on a female. It did not matter if she was little.

Some of them even threatened me with a knife or a box-cutter. Amazingly, I got out of there alive.

When Victims of Bullying Snap:

What happens when you reach your breaking point?

Short answer? You snap! That’s what bullying does to you if you don’t have the proper tools to deal with it. Bullying gives you paranoia and makes you desperate.

It puts you in survival mode! In scientific terms, it rewires your brain to always prepare for a hostile environment. It also awakens your primal instinct for self-preservation.

A victim of bullying lives on adrenaline. They must always be on alert. In other words, they must grow eyes in the back of their head.

To be a victim of bullying is to constantly prepare yourself for danger every time you turn a corner. However, after so long, this gets exhausting.

This comes from personal experiences.

I cannot count the times in school I showed my booty to people after taking all I could take. And there were times I didn’t just let off a little stream, I blew a gasket!

Understand that the longer you are bullied, the more the pressure builds. The sense of injustice! The sadness and rage! It all piles up, and, before you know it, you snap!

Again, we are all human. No one can hold it all inside forever; it doesn’t matter how resilient they are. It’s not humanly possible.

You’re like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken up until it finally spews. Like a dormant volcano that finally awakens, you erupt when that last creep crosses your boundaries.

Some people, you scare half to death. Others, you piss off even more and make them twice as determined to get you. And a few see your tirade as personal entertainment.

I did that a few times back when I was being bullied and abused at school.

There were times I’d yell, curse the bullies out, throw stuff, and slam doors. I would tell people to get the eff away from me and not to come back around, and I admit it. I showed the worst sides of myself on a few occasions.

When Victims of Bullying Snap:

Brutal Fights

I remember grabbing one girl by the hair and beating the living snot out of her in the library. This happened after she’d spent the last several months getting in my face and spouting taunts.

Another bully received the business end of a fist after attempting to shove me down a flight of stairs. I remember running back up the stairs and whacking her upside the head with a fist.

The second time I struck her, it was with my purse, then a textbook. I hit her with everything I had in my arms at the time.

The next thing I remember is dragging her down the stairs. As I pulled her down the steps, she hit and bounced off every step. “Thump, thump, thump, thump… “

Once I got her to the bottom, I beat and kicked her until a teacher and three other students pried me off her. These were only two of the many incidents that occurred during those years.

You end up doing things you regret later.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not something I’m proud of. Each time this happened, I remember feeling terrible about it after everything cooled off.

No decent person wants to lose their composure and act foolishly. However, when you’ve been pushed for so long, there comes an eventual breaking point.

Yes, I got into fist fights. I won some fights, but I also lost a few.

When Victims of Bullying Snap:

It becomes a cycle.

Sadly, it all seemed to be a cycle. After getting bullied and bullied for several months, I’d snap. Some of the tiredness even bled over into my home life.

Sadly, when bullies have worn you down, you’re too exhausted to even be there for the people you love. Bullying causes you to run out of patience and energy.

You can’t pour from an empty cup. So, you just don’t give a crap about anything or anybody. All you want is to be left alone.

Looking back, I realize that I didn’t handle the bullying correctly. Therefore, you must understand that if you don’t set boundaries early, this is what happens. It’s why we have so many school shootings.

Again, it’s because most victims don’t handle bullying the right way.

Setting Boundaries can help you stay calm and handle bullying in a healthy way.

Today, I’m a much calmer and happier person than I used to be. Why? Because I’m more assertive and I set boundaries.

Here’s what I do if I say no or ask someone to please stop doing something and they continue: I either tell them to leave right then, or I walk away after telling the person exactly what I think of them. I then cut them out of my life.

You cannot control another person’s behavior. However, you do have control over how you react to it. You have the power to choose whether to continue having them in your life or send them packing.

Therefore, show them the door. Fast! Once you refuse to associate with them, they no longer have easy access to you. Therefore, it’s not nearly as easy for them to get to you and harm you.

Never allow people to bully you and get out of control with their abuse. Speak out when people violate your boundaries.

And do it from day one. It’s the only way to keep the pressure from building and reaching a boiling point.

When Victims of Bullying Snap:

Stand up for yourself.

I cannot stress enough the importance of standing up for yourself and doing it the right way. And timing is everything. You must do it in the early stages—the moment the bullying starts.

Why? Because if you don’t, your life will turn into a constant battle. You will react the wrong way. You will give over more and more of your power until you become powerless. Then, you will become angry and bitter. You may lash out at others.

Your reputation will plummet. As a result, others will mistake you for a bully when you’re only defending yourself.

This is why many victims who fight back are mistaken for bullies. When you take abuse for a long time and then snap, you have a hard time with people. In fact, you have difficulty with life in general. And it can ruin your future.

You can avoid this by standing up to bullies and practicing confident body language.

In closing

If this is similar to how your life is going, I cannot stress enough the importance of seeking help. Please don’t give up on yourself. There is still time to turn it around. You still have hope. You can make positive changes in your life.

The purpose of this post was to give you the information you need to recognize when you are headed toward your breaking point and provide ways to reverse course.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

Reactive Bullying: What is It?

Bullies in School: 5 Ways They Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It

Beating Bullies at Their Own Game: 9 Easy Strategies

How to Deal with Physical Bullies

Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

Bully-Victims: 4 Reasons Victims of Bullying Often Become Bullies

October 10, 2025October 10, 20258 Comments

‘Want to know about bully-victims and reasons victims of bullying may resort to bullying those even weaker than them? Here’s everything about this phenomenon you need to know.

It’s hard to have empathy when you suffer constant bullying. Targets of bullying often get accused of being selfish and out for their own interests. However, anytime we are hurting so badly, it only blunts our capacity to feel for others.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bully-victims and why they may choose to bully those even weaker than themselves. You will also understand that, if you fall into this category, you can stop the behavior and handle the bullying you suffer more constructively.

Once you learn all about this vital information, you’ll be better able to spot a bully-victim or recognize the behavior in yourself and make changes.

This post is all about bully-victims, so you can recognize the behavior and identify victims who might have become bullies themselves and keep yourself from becoming one.

Bully-Victims

Anytime a person suffers severe and relentless bullying for so long, their pain overrides any ability to empathize with those around them, who may also be hurting.

Your pain is so great, it’s like lying in the emergency room with both legs broken after a car accident. The pain is so intense that you couldn’t care less about the patient in the next room. All you’re thinking of is how soon a doctor will see you and order a pain reliever.

I tell you this because it happened to me. When I was a target of bullying in school, two girls in my class died in a horrific car crash during the eleventh grade. As much as I hate admitting it today, I could not have cared less about it back then.

Naturally, I don’t feel the same today. Now, decades later, I’m sorry that happened to them. At the time it happened, I had absolutely no heart for the girls. I even had the attitude that it had served them right. I thought that maybe I’d get lucky and a few more bullies would drop dead soon.

I’m so glad that this attitude changed once I had my first child. I became sorry that those girls lost their lives. It’s funny how quickly you mature once you become a parent.

Back in school, I did not have it in me to care.

After a person endures bullying for a long time, they can become cold toward others. As a result, it will only bring about resentment from people who might otherwise offer love and support.

Therefore, if you are a target of bullying in school or at work, never let it take away your humanity. It won’t be easy, but do your level best to hold on to your empathy.

Bully-Victims:

Sometimes Bullied People Bully People

Bullying hurts. It’s not the physical beatings in the locker room. It isn’t people tripping you in the hallways, nor having your books knocked out of your arms. It isn’t the name-calling and threats, nor the rumors, lies, and smear campaigns. And it’s not the cruel jokes and pranks.

It’s the cumulative sum of all of it.

It leaves you with a sense that you’ve lost all control over your life. It is as if you no longer get a say in what happens to you. Bully-victims feel they have power over nothing!

Therefore, they become desperate – desperate to have power over something, anything! You soon begin to bully those who are even more vulnerable than you are.

Through your own victimization, you quickly learn that to keep from being so powerless, you must bully too. Therefore, by bullying you, bullies unwittingly teach you how to bully.

This is why we call these people bully-victims. Because they are both bullies and victims of other bullies, they bully to feel better about themselves and to ascend a few rungs up the social ladder.

On the other hand, pure bullies are individuals who don’t get bullied by others.

Bully-Victims:

Both Bullies and Victims.

Bully-victims are both bullies and victims of bullying by other bullies. And they bully far more than the pure bullies do because they have more to prove.

Bully victims are far more hated and ostracized than pure bullies or pure victims. They’re lonelier and have few friends or none at all.

Bully-victims often resort to trickery and deceit. Many are pathological liars, cheats, fakes, and sneaks. They believe that humans are the lowest form of life on earth. Bully-victims tend to be Machiavellian. I certainly was.

Understand that bully-victims need help. They need someone to get it through their heads that just because people are bullying them doesn’t make it okay to bully someone else.

However, we must tell them lovingly and with patience. Why? Because they’re hurting inside and need someone to listen to them and gently guide them in the right direction.

It’s easy to become a bully when you’re a target of bullying.

It’s too easy! Because after others bully you for so long, you search for ways to buffer the pain. You search for a band-aid, any band-aid, even if it’s temporary!

Many targets become bullies themselves because they’re just plain tired of being powerless. They desire to have control over something —or someone. We all want to be in control of something because to have power over nothing is the very definition of hell!

And nothing renders you as powerless as being bullied by everyone. Once you become completely helpless, you’ll start looking for instant gratification and do anything to achieve some sense of power.

Again, in their cruel treatment of you, your bullies teach you that bullying another person is what it takes. You’ll think that it’s the only way to achieve that sense of control and to climb the social ladder.

Finding a victim of your own gives you the sense that you’re not on the bottom of the pecking order anymore. And you think, “Why not? It’s working for them (the bullies), so it should work for me too.”

The problem with this is that bullies are cowardly and pathetic. Therefore, if you bully someone else, it shows that you’re no better than they are!

Bully-Victims:

If you bully others because people bully you, you’re no better than your bullies.

In fact, it proves that you’re worse because you know firsthand how it feels and should know better. You must realize that no one else would feel any different from you if it were happening to them.

In fact, they may not be as resilient as you are and end up taking their own lives. Their blood would be on your hands!

I’m ashamed and sorry to have to tell you, but I did the same thing during my school days. Because I felt utterly powerless, I began to bully people I thought were weaker than me. I own that, and I have remorse for it now.

Take it from someone who’s tried it. If you become a bully and attack others, you may get a rush of power. However, it will last only briefly because it wears off quickly.

Then, you’ll be back to square one and looking for the next rush. You’ll seek your victim out again and again because you’ll always feel you must have more! It’s no different than having a drug addiction!

If bullying doesn’t come naturally to you, it will only eat away at your conscience!

I implore you! Instead of bullying people who look like prey, align with them. Become their friend and their protector. I guarantee you! You’ll feel much better about yourself.

More importantly, you’ll make a positive difference in their lives, and there’s no better feeling than that! Knowing that you’ve helped someone and made life better for them is more rewarding than you realize!

Realizing that you were possibly the difference that kept that person from ending their own life is a feeling so wonderful, words can’t describe it! I promise you!

Bully-Victims:

Here are 4 Reasons Victims of Bullying Become Bullies.

There are reasons victims of bullying become bullies. However, reasons are not excuses.

1. To get the negative spotlight off them and onto someone else.

“Don’t look at me, look at him!” This is why victims will bully someone else. If they can take the negative spotlight off themselves, they will anytime they get the chance.

As long as bullies are targeting someone else, they’re leaving you alone. Therefore, you bully someone else, hoping to divert the bully’s attention to the other victim.

2. So that they don’t feel like they’re the only ONES picked on.

No bullied victim wants to be the only one. It feels much better when someone else is being bullied right along with you. Misery loves company, and having someone to share your suffering provides a sense of comfort.

When someone else is being bullied like you are, your situation doesn’t feel so isolated. Therefore, the bullying becomes easier to bear. Why?

Because the bullying feels less like an individual defect. Therefore, it lessens some of the shame and isolation that often accompany being bullied. Also, when you see someone else enduring the same treatment, it validates your feelings and experiences.

It makes you feel stronger because you share something in common with the other person who endures bullying.

Bully-victims want that commonality with someone… anyone. It’s why they create other victims by bullying those who are weaker than they are.

3. Bully-Victims:

To Feel Like They Still HAVE a Little Bit of Power Left.

These kids bully because they are being bullied themselves, either in the home, at school, or both. They feel powerless. So, to reclaim some of the power, they seek out someone even weaker and bully them.

These individuals have a strong need to be in control of something in their lives. For example, a child is yelled at by his parents. Then he gets mad and kicks the dog. This is why I call this “Kicking the Dog.”

That child has lost control. So, he tries to create that sense of power by victimizing the dog.

4. To keep for being at the bottom of the social hierarchy.

No one wants to be at the bottom of the pecking order. As the age-old saying goes, To avoid being at the bottom, these types often find someone else to bully, so they don’t think they’re the ones stuck in the basement.

Again, nobody wants to be on the bottom. Everybody wants to be better than somebody. It’s a sad part of human nature.

“Shit rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.” Therefore, just as people are fighting like the devil to stay on top, others struggle just as hard to keep off the bottom.

Person A at the top bullies Person B, who is second from the top. Person B then bullies Person C, and so on. And down the pecking order, the nastiness rolls until it lands on Person Z at the bottom.

Then, everyone bullies Person Z because Person Z is defenseless! There’s no one for Person Z to bully because he’s the one with the least power of all the others.

Bully-victims:

No one wants to be on the bottom.

Anyone on the bottom is going to catch hell because they’re powerless. And others will do their best to keep the designated bottom-rat at the bottom because no one wants that position.

Therefore, everyone keeps Z down to ensure that none of them ever takes Z’s place.
That’s how it works, folks!

As long as someone else is on the bottom, it keeps you and everyone else safe from being there. It’s why bully-victims get bullied by pure bullies, then go on to select their own victims to degrade and humiliate.

However, most of the time, this doesn’t turn out well. Because sometimes, bully-victims become worse off than pure bullies or pure victims.

I tell you this because I did the same thing. I also became a bully after other bullies had harmed me for so long and stripped me of all my power. And I admit this today with tremendous sadness and remorse. I didn’t like myself very much back then. However, I’m glad that I don’t need to resort to such behavior today.

In Closing:

Remember that, if people bully you, you don’t have to become a bully yourself to survive or reclaim your power. There are better ways to take back control of your life.

I’ve found that the best way to do that is to befriend other victims of bullying and provide the support they need. It may not seem like it, but you aren’t the only one your bullies bully. There are others.

Find out who those people are and become the friend they need. Then, you both win!

This post is all about bully-victims so that you can recognize it in yourself and make the needed changes.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. When the Bullied Become Bullies

2. Bullying Survival Mode: 5 Things Victims of Bullying Do Wrong

Reactive Bullying: What is It?

July 18, 2025July 9, 202526 Comments

‘Ever heard of reactive bullying? Here’s what it is and why it can lead to trouble.

When bullies force you to tolerate their bullying, the pressure builds over time. You become angry, and that anger also builds. Everyone has a breaking point. And when people push you to yours, you snap and show your ugly side.

This happens all the time, and it can lead to mayhem if you aren’t careful.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about reactive bullying and its potential impact on you.

Once you learn all about this important, even life-saving information, you will be able to save yourself a lot of drama down the road.

This post is all about reactive bullying, so that you can take steps to save yourself from having it weaponized against you.

Reactive Bullying

What is reactive bullying? Reactive bullies tend to be victims of bullying. Reactive bullying happens when bullies taunt you until you finally snap out of rage and launch a verbal tirade or physical attack against your bullies.

The victim who snaps

You snap after you’ve ignored the bullying for so long. You’ve tried handling it calmly, but it doesn’t help. The bullies only intensify the bullying.

As time passes, the pressure builds slowly. For example, you take a bottle of Coke and shake it up. If you keep shaking it up, it will eventually spew.

This is what happens after people have targeted you for so long. The pressure boils over, and you ultimately explode with rage, lashing out at your tormentors. Realize that you can’t hold it in forever.

So, you let them have it! In other words, you bully them back. Is blowing up and going off on your bullies the wisest thing to do?

No. Why? Because an explosive reaction is precisely what your bullies want. They want you to snap. And, the reason they want you to blow up on them is so they can play the victim and make you look like the bully.

Reactive Bullying:

Your bullies will only weaponize your reaction.

I realize that people can only take so much. I understand that when you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough, and I’m with you.

However, bullies are experts at baiting you. Although your reaction may be justified, your bullies will only use it against you. They’ll paint it as proof that you’re mentally unstable.

They’ll say that you’re too sensitive or you’re a drama queen. Also, they may use it to blame you. They may say,

“Well? Maybe if you wouldn’t get so overly emotional, you’d have friends!”
“If you didn’t overreact to everything, people would want to be around you more!”
“Maybe if you’d control your temper, we wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”

Your reaction is a tool they can use to Blame you.

However, see this for what it is. It’s gaslighting of the highest extent. Your bullies mistreat you, then punish you for reacting to their abuse.

They also use it to make excuses for the behavior and deflect the blame back onto you. Sadly, it works like a charm, and bystanders and witnesses believe them.

For example, we’ll use a scene in the movie “Home Alone 2.”

In this scene, the McAllisters are having a family meeting in their living room. The main character, Kevin, is in trouble for pushing his older brother, Buzz, after Buzz humiliated him at the Christmas choir concert.

Buzz gives a fake apology to Kevin and the rest of the family. He then turns toward his little brother and sneakily calls him a trout-sniffer. Then, Buzz baits Kevin into a reaction. Therefore, Kevin gets into trouble with the family, while Buzz gets off scot-free.

Bullies pull the same trick on you.

Reactive Bullying:

Superiors won’t punish your bullies for abusing you, they’ll punish you for your reaction to it.

If you blow a gasket and tear into your bullies, it doesn’t undercut the fact that they initiated it. After all, your bullies are the ones who asked for it and drove you to get out of character.

Every single human one of us is capable of losing our cool after we’ve endured vile treatment for so long. However, many superiors will punish you because they feel that you overreacted.

There will be those who feel that the punishment outweighs the crime.

Therefore, teachers, supervisors, and others in authority must learn to distinguish between provocation and reaction. Then, they will be able to identify the real bully and target.

You must also learn to distinguish between the two so that you can call it out when it happens to you. Fortunately, there are a few reliable ways to differentiate between a provocation and a reaction. In that, you identify the real victim who is only reacting to bullying.

How do you know which person is the bully and which is the victim?

Simple! You can determine this by observing each person’s behavior.

A victim who has only reacted always feels terrible about how they acted once they’ve calmed down. They are usually the first to apologize for it.

A real target will also not be afraid to admit they’ve made a mistake.

On the other hand, a bully must always be right. They will never admit they’ve done anything wrong. Instead, a bully will continue to blame the victim.

They will be overly critical of the target and their reaction. Moreover, bullies will also use the tiniest mistake or imperfection and exaggerate it beyond its actual size. Bullies are also excessively dramatic.

Now, if the bully is a smooth talker, he might even admit to a few minor mistakes or wrongdoings. However, they will always follow that with the claim that the victim is at fault.

Therefore, always look for these signs. Then, you can easily peel the mask off the bully, layer by layer! Moreover, you can protect and care for the victim.

Reactive BULLYING:

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t

As mentioned earlier, the pressure of bullying builds until you snap. Bystanders and superiors may feel that your reaction subtracts from the fact that they drove you to overreact.

As a result, you may stop defending yourself. Why? It seems that every time you stand up for yourself, they punish you for it. Therefore, it may discourage you from standing up for yourself.

As a result, you may feel you have no other choice but to stay silent. You may think it easier to resign yourself, stay quiet, and allow them to keep bullying you.

The fear of them making you the villain overrides your natural desire to defend yourself. And, in your silence, you may hope that others take notice of your passivity and realize that you are, in fact, the target.

However, in most cases, this doesn’t work either. Why? Because, when you suffer bullying, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

What happens when bullies make you out to be the bad guy?

If your bullies make you look like the instigator when you defend yourself, they become brazen. Then, they have carte blanche to bully you any time they feel like it.

Moreover, they will bully you more frequently, more severely, and more openly.

Reactive Bullying:

So What can you do?

You can react to bullying in positive ways. What do I mean by this?

For instance, you can become an advocate against bullying. You can speak for others who suffer from bullying.

Also, you can focus more on your life goals. You can get busy working on those goals and following your dreams. This will buffer your self-esteem from the effects of bullying.

And you can tell your story of how people bully you. And you must, no matter how they shout you down.

Continue to talk about it, no matter how they blame and punish you. Tell your side of the story, even if no one wants to listen to it.

Just having your say can give you such relief. The fact that you got it off your chest and out in the open keeps you from internalizing everything. Also, it saves your self-esteem from being destroyed.

This is all a part of self-care.

The Importance of self-Care

When you’re against these types of odds, self-care is most important. Realize that, although the bullies may never change their behavior toward you, they can never stop you from taking care of yourself.

In these situations, all you have is you. So, practice self-care. Show yourself compassion and do what you must do to preserve your safety and mental health. Be your own best friend. Fight for yourself.

You’re worth fighting for.

Reactive Bullying:

In closing

Reactive bullying is a natural reaction to bullying. However, it can also give bullies a tool to use against you. Therefore, respond to bullying the right way. Never allow your bullies to get you so riled up that you snap.

Why? Because once you lose your cool, you lose your ability to think clearly, and you give your bullies a chance to lay the blame on you.

This post was all about reactive bullying for you to learn what it is and how bullies can use it to their advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Punished for Defending Yourself: What You Can Do

2. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

3. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

4. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up