Tag: powerlessness

when the bullied become bullies later

When the Bullied Become Bullies

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‘Want to know what happens when the bullied become bullies? Here are all the mechanics of it that you need to know.

when the bullied become bullies

It’s too easy to become a bully yourself when you’re a victim of bullying. It’s just too easy!

After others have abused you for so long, you search for ways to take the edge off the pain. You search for any band-aid, as long as it takes away some of the pain, even if it’s only temporary.

Most of all, you search for ways to take back some of the power that they have taken from you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what happens when the bullied become the bullies. Also, you will how they do so that you will recognize it if it happens to you.

Once you learn all about these details, you will be able to catch it before you become an abuser and begin working on yourself so that you don’t become one.

This post is all about what happens when the bullied become bullies and how they become aggressors, so that you can make sure that it doesn’t happen to you, too.

When the Bullied Become Bullies

Sadly, many targets become bullies themselves because they’re just plain tired of feeling powerless. They want to have control over something- or someone!

We all want to be in control of something because to have power over nothing is the very definition of hell!

It’s hard to feel empathy when you’re being bullied by everyone.

When you’re a victim of bullying, people often accuse you of being selfish and out for your interests. However, anytime people bully you, the pain of it only blunts your capacity to feel for others.

In other words, any time you suffer severe abuse long-term, your pain overrides any ability to empathize with those around you, who may also be hurting.

It’s like lying in the emergency room after a car accident with both legs broken. The pain is so intense that you couldn’t care less about the patient in the next room.

All you’re thinking of is how soon a doctor will see you and give you something for pain.

For instance, you’re a teenager and you’re mistreated in high school. Two classmates die in a horrific car accident. You may not admit it. But, chances are that you probably won’t care less.

Now, you probably won’t feel the same later. However, right now, you just don’t give a damn. You have no feeling for them because they bullied you when they were alive.

Moreover, you may think that the two bitches got what was coming to them. You’ll even feel a sense of sweet justice. Even worse, you may wish for a few more of them to drop dead soon.

Nevertheless, if your class picks on you badly and for long enough, you probably won’t even have it in you to care.

This is why it’s important to get out of the environment. And you must leave before the bullying you suffer has time to harden your heart.

When the Bullied Become Bullies:

When people mistreat you, you soon turn cold.

After people jerk you around long enough, you withdraw from others and put up a barrier. Next, you turn mean and begin to harden yourself just to numb feelings of rejection and the pain that comes with it.

Before long, you look at the feelings and suffering of others with indifference. Again, you just don’t give a damn about anyone, how they feel or what they think.

Moreover, you no longer have any respect for others, much less yourself. Lastly, you come to that evil place where schadenfreude takes hold, and you secretly take pleasure in seeing others, especially those you despise, suffer.

In short, you turn cold and unfeeling. And it only brings resentment from people who might otherwise offer love and support.

being tormented can make you powerless if you let it.

And nothing makes you powerless like having people abuse you left and right. Especially if they get physical!

When you’re constantly picked on, you feel powerless. So, you’ll do anything, and I mean anything, to have some semblance of power.

You learn very quickly to become a bully yourself to reclaim that power. Because you’re being tormented, you find others to torment. You learn that, to stay off the bottom of the pecking order, you must find victims of your own to degrade and humiliate.

Often, bullied children and teens feel helpless. They feel that they have no control over anything in their lives. Therefore, they become aggressors to feel some sense of power and control over something.

When the Bullied become Bullies:

Crap Rolls Downhill and Lands on the bottom.

They often mistreat others who are even more powerless than they are. And they do it just to make themselves feel better. Crap always rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.

Therefore, no one wants to be at the bottom of the social hierarchy. Some people fight to stay on top.  However, others fight just as hard to stay off the bottom.

For example, a child gets yelled at by parents, then goes outside and kicks the dog. It is the same with most victims. You’ve got to have control over something.

In Mistreating you, They teach you to torment others.

Your bullies teach you that bullying another person is what you must do to feel good about yourself. Moreover, they teach you that it’s what it takes to climb the social ladder.

You think, “Why not? It’s keeping my bullies off the bottom, so it should keep  me off it too.”

I tell you this because I did the same thing. And I’m sorry to admit this. I allowed my tormentors to change me from a caring, loving child to a vicious teenager.

I had become someone I no longer recognized. I had once been friendly and accepting of everyone, regardless of what they had. And now, I was this cruel and mean human being.

I was beautiful to look at. But I was ugly as hell on the inside. Because others judged me, I judged others. Because I was being bullied, I began bullying others.

And how did I learn to do that? My bullies taught me! And they taught me by doing the same to me.

Even worse, I was cunning with it. There were times when I got caught and was punished. However, there were more times when I avoided accountability.

When the Bullied become Bullies:

You sow discord because you become jealous of others’ friendships. 

I got my kicks out of seeing others’ friendships end. At different times in high school, I instigated fights between other people. Then, I stood back and watched the results of my handiwork.

And I did it proudly! I enjoyed watching the two girls that I had very stealthily turned against each other. They would duke it out while I laughed inside while and hid it with a false look of concern.

I had no real friendships. So, I wanted to destroy other people’s friendships to feel like I was not the only one.  It was better to have someone else suffering along with me than to suffer alone.

But here’s the problem. Bullies are weak, cowardly, and pathetic. So, I was no better than they were. I was worse than they were because I knew firsthand how it felt. I knew better, but I did it anyway.

Today, I’m sorry for the way I treated those victims.

Take it from someone who’s tried it. If you mistreat others, you may get a rush of power. However, it won’t last long. It wears off quickly. Then, you’ll be back to square one.

And if you don’t typically bully, it will only eat away at your conscience! Therefore, set boundaries so that you won’t feel the need to bully others.

Why not make friends with other victims? Be a Buddy to them, not a bully!

And, instead of tormenting other victims, align with them. Become their friend and their protector. I guarantee you! You’ll feel much better about yourself.

More importantly, you’ll make a positive difference in their lives, and there’s no better feeling than that!

You’ll help uplift them. And you’ll make them feel better about themselves! Heck! You might even save a life!

Today, droves of victims are dying by suicide. If you could be the difference between someone ending their life and deciding that life’s worth living? Wouldn’t that feel great? Knowing you kept someone from taking their life?

It’s more rewarding than you realize! Knowing that you were possibly the difference that kept that person from ending their own life is a feeling so wonderful, words can’t describe it! I promise you!

So, if you know that someone is weaker than you, give them strength by being a friend. If you know someone else who people abuse just like they do you, align with them. Why? Because they need a friend, and so do you. You can’t lose!

This post is all about what happens when the bullied become bullies so that you can be a buddy instead of a bully yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Physical Bullying Information: 5 Must-Know Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know 

2. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some 

3. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

4. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

inside the bullied brain

The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Effects Mental Health

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‘Want to know what happens in the bullied brain? Here are the changes that happen in the brain of a bullied person that you need to know about.

the bullied brain

Prolonged bullying can cause actual changes in the brains of it’s victims. And these changes aren’t good.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the bullied brain and the exact changes that victims’ brain goes through.

Once you learn all about these negative brain changes, you will be able to better describe how bullying has changed you. Also, you will be more motivated to take the steps needed to protect your mind from vicious bullies.

This post is all about the bullied brain and why it’s important for you not only to protect your your mind from bullying.

The Bullied Brain

Bullying and Changes in the Brain

As we know, bullying can cause victims lots of trauma. However, bystanders also suffer a degree of trauma as well, just by witnessing it.

For now, let’s talk about what bullying does to targets, since it affects them the most.

Any form of psychological trauma, whether it comes from combat, rape, or bullying, changes the physiology of the brain.

Furthermore, it reprograms the brain’s alarm system. It also causes a sharp increase in stress hormones.

Put simpler, it changes the way the brain distinguishes real information from fake information. And lastly it comes more difficult for the brain to tell the difference between information that relevant and that which is irrelevant.

Because of these changes, you become hyper-vigilant. In fact, some victims and survivors become so much so that they cannot function day to day.

Once you’ve suffered enough trauma, you may have difficulty learning from experience. As a result, you may often repeat the same destructive behaviors. This is why others often accuse you of being a “bad” person.

Also, others may label you as lazy, stubborn, immoral, and having bad character.

This are only a few of the impacts of bullying.

1. Bullying rewires Your brain to prepare for a hostile environment.

You must understand that this is what happens when people bully you for long periods of time.  It will rewire your brain to prepare for a hostile environment.

 In other words, you will have difficulty trusting people. You’ll come to only expect hostility from them.

Moreover, people may accuse you of being lazy when you’re only dealing with “learned helplessness.” And learned helplessness is a common result of repeated and prolonged bullying and verbal abuse.

Also, others may accuse you of being defiant and stubborn when you’re actually shutting down.

Moreover, they may also accuse you of hotheadedness or craziness when you’re actually defending yourself. Or, you could be experiencing the release of pinned up rage.

This sudden out-pour of raw emotions often results from being abused, then silenced and punished for speaking out and defending yourself.

2. The bullied brain:

Prolonged and Repeated Bullying and Abuse Causes Learned Helplessness.

If you suffer repeated bullying and abuse, you may have no way of defending yourself. Moreover, certain circumstances may leave you with no way of fleeing and escaping the bullying and toxic environment.

Learned helplessness doesn’t only come from repeated bullying and abuse. It also comes from feelings of entrapment.

In other words, it’s caused from feeling powerless to do anything to better your situation.

For example, if a group of bullies lock the door of the bathroom and surrounds you, they block any escape. They then hold you down as they attack you.

This is likely to cause “learned helplessness.”

Here’s another example. You report the bullying to the school principal or teacher. But instead of helping you, the school staff only blame you and refuse to help.

Then, the next day, the bullies retaliate and beat you to a pulp for snitching. Even worse, this happens several times until you finally give up trying to take care of yourself.

Thus, you develop learned helplessness.

Battered Wife Syndrome: Another example of the Bullied Brain

A battered wife is constantly threatened by her abusive husband. He tells her that, if she leaves, he will take the children from her, or kill her, or worse, kill her entire family.

As a result, she feels trapped in an abusive marriage with no way out. Therefore, she is likely to develop battered wife syndrome, which is another form of learned helplessness.

Understand that it’s not so much the bullying and abuse that causes this condition. There have been many abused and bullied people who have escaped their situations.

They later became highly independent, healthy, and successful people.

What causes learned helplessness is the inability to oppose or escape the abuse. In other words, you develop learned helplessness when bullies and abusers block you from any possible paths of escape.

Why? Because you have no other recourse than to take the abuse quietly just to survive.  That is what causes “learned helplessness.”

This also happens when you have no one to turn to for help. When no one will listen to or believe you, the condition of learned helplessness has a strong chance of developing.

3. You become exhausted and lose the will to fight back.

When people bully you, it can be extremely exhausting. Understand that bullies know this. Therefore, they’ll deliberately wear you down to take the fight out of you. Then, they can take control over your life.

At first, you may defend yourself, fiercely asserting your rights to human dignity, respect and safety. However, most bullies don’t recognize human rights.

 They only see your acts of self-defense and self-protection as a threat to their power. Therefore, they only double down.

In other words, your bullies intensify the hatred and abuse to keep you fighting until they mentally and physically exhaust you.

You finally become so tired that you lose your will to fight back. You then decide that it’s much easier just to give up.

4. The Bullied Brain:

You lose the ability to recognize mistreatment.

When you’re used to being treated well, you can see bullying more clearly. Therefore, you know the difference when it happens.

However, after you endure bullying for so long, the lines get blurred, and you lose the ability to see aggression so clearly. This happens especially if the hostility is subtle.

Finally, you reach a point where you don’t recognize abuse at all!

5. Bullies condition you to accept bad behavior from others.

After bullies have verbally abused you for so long, you begin to believe their words. In other words, bullies have abused you until you finally start to believe that you somehow deserve it.

These damaging self-beliefs happen after the bullies, their followers, and bystanders have repeatedly abused you and prevented you from defending yourself.

Put another way, they have drummed into your head that you are worthless. Moreover, they have repeated that lie over and over until you begin to believe it too.

6. The Bullied Brain:

You begin to punish yourself.

You do this by engaging in risky or self-destructive behaviors. you may hang with the wrong people and befriend those who only tolerate you. Moreover, you may participate in risky sexual behavior or having relationships with abusive partners.

7. You contemplate suicide.

After bullies have tormented you for so long, the torture can reach a point to where you think of suicide. It’s not that you want to die, per se. However, when people constantly bully you without stopping, you may feel that dying is the only way to make it stop.

The Bullied Brain: Understand that Bullying is One Big PsyOp

Think about it. Governments and their military use psyop operations by starting propaganda campaigns. When bullies employ smear campaigns and verbal abuse against you, it is the equivalent of a government propaganda campaign but on a much smaller scale.

Therefore, understand that propaganda campaigns and smear campaigns are pretty much the same and they both have the same purpose. To demoralize the enemy.

When people bully you, they consider you the enemy and want to demoralize you. Therefore, you must realize that, if bullies can demoralize you, they can then crush your will to stand up for yourself and fight back.

The Bullied Brain:

Here’s How Bullies Attempt to demoralize you.

Bullies will tell you things, such as:

  • “You’re not strong (pretty, smart) enough.”
  • “No body likes you” or “You don’t have any friends.”
  • “You can’t fight against us.”
  • “You’ll always be a nobody” or “You’ll never amount to anything.”
  • “No one will ever date you (or) marry you.”
  • “You’ll never win that contest.”
  • “You’ll never make the team.”

You’ll never this and you’ll never that. You must realize that these statements mean to mentally subdue you. In other words, they force you to give up your natural reluctance to bow down and take abuse.

Understand that your bullies must slowly weaken you so that you won’t stand up to them. And once they do, you’ll give up on yourself and allow them to just walk all over you.

In Conclusion:

Understand that you must take care of your mental health and self-esteem if you want to avoid these results in the future.

Therefore, make sure you have friends outside of the bullying environment that you can talk to. Also, turn to supportive family members for help.

Do things you enjoy and keep company with positive and uplifting people any time you’re away from the bullies.

Your goal is to balance everything out by adding healthy and positive relationships and experiences. You must cultivate these relationships even if they’re outside the bullying environment.

This balance will soften the blows to your self-esteem and provide a buffer to your bullies’ attacks.

This Post is all about the bullied brain and why you should take steps to protect your mind just as you would your body

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

2. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

3. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

4. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

5. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing