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Triumphing Over Workplace Bullying (Part 2)

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(Continued from Part 1…)

In the last post, I talked about how everything started out great and that I was well-liked by almost everyone. I also mentioned the incident when I responded in kind after Candi, a CNA, caught a bad attitude. Needless to say, I found out that, right or wrong, talking down to her was a no-no because she had connections.

And over several months, one by one, many people turned against me. Luckily, several of my real friends knew how Candi was and had no respect for her. They were the people who had my back, so I can say that I did have allies who took care of me.

However, there was a clear division at Shady Grove Living Center. There was the administrator, who I’ll call *Beau, *Cammie, the payroll clerk, the department heads,*Harry (who was Cammie’s husband), one maintenance guy, whose name was *Jules, and two CNAs, *Shelly was one and *Cheryl who were two flying monkeys. On our side were my supervisor Darnell, all of my coworkers (except for one suck up), a charge nurse, and the rest of the CNAs who had my back.

At first, the bullies made false reports about me to Darnell. On the days after my shift (I worked part-time in the evening), the third shift CNAs would complain that I hadn’t stocked the linen closets on each of the halls and that they had no clean bed pads, bedsheets, nor gowns for the residents who soiled their beds during the night.

But because I always thought ahead and could easily predict what these people would do, I had made sure to pull out my cellphone and take pictures of all my finished work at the end of my shift.

Once I was done stocking the linen closets, I took photos of all the  shelves inside, chock full of freshly clean linens. I then took pictures inside all the empty barrels that were marked “dirty laundry,” before clocking out and going home. And, with the time-stamps on each image, there was no question I’d done my job.

I took pictures every night, at the end of the shift. And I had proof to show Darnell every time they lied.

When that didn’t work, the bullies only turned up the harassment, as word quickly spread throughout the nursing home that I’d taken pictures of all finished work.

In a way, it was funny because each of the linen closets was directly across from a nurse’s desk, where the bullies would sit around and gossip. And I remember overhearing them make snide remarks about my camera and my taking pictures, to which I’d only snicker and chuckle to myself.

Harry, the head of maintenance, would talk pretty ugly to me, but I knew I wasn’t the only one because many times, I’d see him talk terrible to several others- even a few who worked for the nursing home. So, I didn’t feel like the Lone Ranger.

And because I’d already been a target of bullying in school, I knew what to expect as all bullies pull pretty much the same tactics, only adult bullies are much more sophisticated with it. Therefore, I was able to prepare, stay a few steps ahead, and outflank them.

During this time, I began to witness a couple of the bullies in this workplace clique commit a few illegal activities. On one instance, I worked a double shift to cover for a coworker who was sick.

Early one Saturday morning, I saw with my own eyes Harry walk into the back door of the nursing home, dressed in camouflage and his bright orange hunting vest. He crept down the hall past the laundry room, then stopped at the time clock and clocked in. Harry then filled out a bogus work order, then left.

He didn’t return until late that evening to clock out and leave again. I’ll never forget the look on his mug when he saw me sitting outside on my last break as he drove by in his shiny new pickup. And when I told a trusted friend at work a day or two later about what I’d seen, she wasn’t at all surprised.

“Girl! He’s been clocking out and going home on the weekends since I’ve been here! And I’ll tell you something else,” *Brenda told me, “Cammie’s been embezzling from this facility, and she’s been ripping off some of the residents who don’t have families- weaseling them into signing papers to leave their assets to her when they leave this world!”

I felt my eyes pop out of my head as Brenda gave me an ear full!

(Continued in Part 3…)

Toxic Conformity: The 15 Characteristics of Sheople

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Sheople, sheeple, however you chose to spell the word, are, in short, people who are blind followers who are willing to be led to their own slaughter. You often hear the word in toxic government politics, but you also have them in office and school politics too. Not only do politicians have their sheople, but bullies in the workplace and at school have them too.

And most people are, in fact, toxic conformists. Rare is the person who thinks for themselves, especially during the last few years, and, I’ll bet you’ve wondered why most people have become a bunch of submissive sheople. I know I certainly have.

None of us are born followers, we become that way over time through our upbringing, through the messages we receive from others, and through watching and reading all sorts of media.

However, it’s up to us to dig deep and sort out the crap from the facts. Moreover, it’s also up to us whether to follow society’s standards or to follow our own path in life.

At the end of the day, we choose whether to live free or remain shackled to the whims of evil politicians, crooked managers and supervisors, authoritarian school officials, and to bullies and peer-pressure.

So, how do people who are born free and independent become sheople? And how do people who were once confident and self-assured become insecure and fearful? Most are bullied into it.

So, what are the characteristics of sheople? Find out below:

1. Sheople don’t trust themselves to make their own decisions – they’re insecure and lack the confidence needed to make decisions for themselves. So they take the easy way out and allow others to make decisions for them. These types of people lack direction and are either easily bullied, think they know it all, or both. In doing this, they allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated. In essence, they are slaves to the whims of others.

2. They are lazy – Sheople don’t want to have to work for anything but want everything done for them. They’ll do anything to keep from having to work for anything. So, they rely on other people or the system to provide for them instead of providing for themselves. But what they don’t realize is that they open themselves up to being ordered around and told what to do. They accept being told how they should live their lives. Even worse, they open themselves up to be abused and taken advantage of. Understand that even free stuff has a price, and that price is often your independence and autonomy. No one will give you anything free and if you can’t repay them with cash or material goods, you will repay them with services or with your personal freedom.

3.Sheople need someone to hold their hand – They’re little five-year-olds in adult bodies. Again, they don’t trust themselves to make good decisions because they fear they’ll fail. Therefore, they feel they must have someone else guide them through the maze of life. In short, what they don’t understand is that by giving up their responsibility for their own lives, they also give away their power to another person and end up allowing that person to lead them…right off a cliff!

4. They are gullible – They will believe anything people in power feed them. They base their judgements only on how high a position the person telling them what to do is holding and they erroneously think that the people in power care about them and want to do what’s best for them when, in most cases, the people in power are acting in their own best interests and not those of the sheople.

They can’t think for themselves, so they adopt other’s beliefs just to fit in and be accepted. They’ll go with any narrative you give them. They allow themselves to be lied to and used for someone else’s purposes.

5. Sheople are dependent. They either can’t, think they can’t, or don’t know how to do anything for themselves, so they reply on an authority to provide all their wants and needs for them. And, in order to keep getting those wants and needs meet, sheople will bow down and submit to the will of the person supplying them even if they must unnecessarily sacrifice themselves to do it.

6. Sheople are hopeless. Many sheople are incompetent and ineffective people. They don’t believe in themselves and, deep down inside, feel powerless and that they can’t do anything right. Many sheople feel that they’re failures and sadly, many of them are. So, they look to a so-called leader to do everything for them. What they don’t realize is that by looking to this person, they only give up their power and make themselves subjects to that person. I don’t know about you, but I refuse to make myself obligated to anyone other than God, my family, and my closest friends.

7. Sheople are slaves. In exchanging their freedom for security, they make themselves servants, subjects, Because to have someone else do everything and provide everything for you means to be obligated to them. Totally obligated! And because they’re completely useless and can’t take care of themselves, they must have someone else to keep them up. And anything the other person tells them to do, they will do because they know that if they don’t obey the person, the benefits they’ve been enjoying will stop. But who’s to say that they won’t stop anyway? What if the person decides to cut the sheople off once they’ve served their purpose? Then what?

 8. Sheople are fearful. They are believers of fearmongers. They’re also afraid that they might have to work for something. Thirdly, they’re afraid that if they don’t conform, the benefits they enjoy will be cut off. They are easily intimidated by those in power so they do everything they’re told to stay in the good graces of the person or people at the top. Everything the they do is out of fear!

(Continued in Part 2…)

How “Good People” Become Willing Participants in Bullying

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Even the best and kindest of people can help bullies to destroy a target. Oh yes! It’s true!

Many times, good people are either scared or duped into joining bullies in destroying targets. Understand that your bullies have either intimidated or lied to these people until they finally succeeded in turning them all against you.

What’s worse? These people really and truly do not believe they’re bullying you. They don’t see it as meanness and an attempt to cause another human being to suffer intense pain. People who willingly join with bullies and take part in torturing and tormenting another person do not think that what they’re doing is evil and sadistic. No.

What these people believe is that what they’re doing is good and morally right. Remember that you’ve been labeled immoral. Bullies have painted you as an evil adversary who needs to be punished.

Although the reality is that you’re totally innocent and wrongly persecuted, perceptions (opinions and attitudes) are everything, and bullies can easily distort others’ perceptions to fall in line with their narratives. And sadly, everything in life is based on appearances, and no one cares about what’s behind them.

Understand that, one by one, the “good” people will be sucked into the bullies’ smoke screens. And, one by one, they’ll join forces with the bullies in defeating “the evil enemy.”

These good people will gradually distance themselves from you. Then, little by little, they’ll join in the gossip and defamation of your character.

Again, these bystanders and witnesses don’t see what they’re doing as bullying. They genuinely believe that what they’re doing is a good thing- they’re only doing it for the greater good- the good of the school, alumni, and staff. They’re doing it for the sake of the company and people in it. They’re only showing loyalty and trustworthiness to the group. They’re heroes.

I want you to realize that this is how good people do bad things to innocent people. When this happens, the fact that you’re innocent and undeserving of the abuse and brutality just doesn’t come into it.

Also, understand that there are benefits that come with siding with a group against “the enemy” and few people will forgo those benefits.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why People Bully

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Someone came to me with a burning question that I used to ask all the time. I am certain that millions of people worldwide have asked the same question, “Why do People Bully?”

There are many answers, and they all depend on the individual bully.

1. Spoiled, Coddled, Narcissistic bullies.

These kinds of bullies bully because they are arrogant and overconfident. They truly believe that they are superior to and better than anyone else and will stop at nothing to let you know who’s boss. They are self-entitled, self-serving, and have no empathy.

With people such as these, the ends always justify the means. They do everything possible to keep the spotlight on themselves and hog all the attention. They consider themselves highly privileged.

These people are also jealous of anyone who outshines or outdoes them in any way because they believe that any happiness, successes, accolades, and victories should be reserved for only them.

If you have a talent that brings you recognition, look out! Because these bullies will punish you for it, and they will pull out all the stops to crush your self-esteem and kill your confidence.

You will often find these people in the popular and preppy crowd at school or in the “Good Ole Boy” clique at work. These folks will often be jocks, cheerleaders, and sorority/fraternity nuts at school, or in management or one of their suck-ups at work.

2. Hurting and Victimized Bullies (Bully-Victims)

These bullies bully because they are being bullied themselves either in the home, at school/workplace, or both. These folks feel powerless. So, to reclaim some of the power that has been stripped away from them, they search for someone they perceive to be even weaker than they are and bully them.

These people have a strong need to feel like they have control over something in their lives.

Here’s an example:

A child is yelled at by his parents, then he gets mad and kicks the dog. This is why I call this “Kicking the Dog.”

Also, no one wants to be at the bottom of the pecking order. As the age-old saying goes, “Sh** rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.” So, to stay off the bottom, these types will often find someone else to bully, so they don’t feel like they’re the ones stuck in the basement.

3. Bullies who Are Followers, Drones, and Wannabes

These bullies are to be pitied because they are quite pathetic when you really think of it. They will suck up to the in-crowd (the narcissistic bullies), and all too often, they do this by either bullying those lower on the social totem pole or participating in the bullying somehow.

Many of these people will say, ‘How High?’ when a person from the in-crowd tells them to jump. They often do the dirty work of the narcissistic bullies, join in with them in bullying others, or agree with them.

But understand that these people are only kiss-butts, yes-men, and brown-noses; and are only bullying you or your child for a ticket into the popular crowd or because they’re afraid of becoming the next target.

Different people bully for different reasons. When we can distinguish the reasons each bully bullies we can better prepare and protect ourselves.