Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

February 14, 2025January 14, 20259 Comments

Do you know what it means to know your worth as a woman? Here are rules you should live by to increase your value.

When you know your worth as a woman, you’re least likely to settle for anything less than what you want and what you know you deserve.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what it is to know your worth as a woman. Moreover, you’ll live by your beliefs and convictions so that you can increase your value and live the life you deserve.

Once you know this life-changing information, you will successfully increase your feminine value. Moreover, you’ll be more capable of creating the good life you deserve because you won’t settle for crap.

This post is all about what it is to know your worth as a woman so that you can know your true value and live up to it.

Know Your Worth as a Woman

A high-value woman is worth more than gold. However, with the moral decline of today’s females, she’s a rare commodity. Even so, potential partners still hope to find her.

First, here’s a scenario. A fourteen-year-old girl comes home from school to find both her grandmother’s sitting at the kitchen table.

Having both grown up during the Great Depression and been daughters of farmers, the grandmothers only have fifth-grade and seventh-grade educations, yet they are geniuses in common sense and street smarts!

As they sit together, sipping coffee and having just finished a card game, the girl’s maternal grandmother tells her the story of how her grandfather cheated on her many times but only dropped the other woman in the end.

She also tells her how she ended up divorcing him. After she tells her the story. Her sweet grandmas then give her 5 Rules all women should live by.

Rule Number 1

“Never, ever have an affair with a married man because you only settle for second place when you do, sweetheart. You decrease your value as a woman when you go with another woman’s husband”

“In other words, you cheapen yourself. Wouldn’t you rather find your own husband and be his one and only?”

Naturally, the young girl’s answer is an emphatic “YES!”

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Her maternal grandmother continued:

“When a woman dates a married man, she decreases her worth as a woman- and she does it immensely. She reduces herself to the lowest common denominator.”

“Moreover, she lives on the fantasy and false promise that the man will leave his wife for her. In most cases, he doesn’t. She only waits, with bated breath, wasting her valuable time on someone who doesn’t deserve her love let alone his wife’s.”

“Philanderers don’t change. And if he does leave his wife and marries the mistress, he’ll only eventually cheat on her too. When you have an affair with a married man, you sell yourself short. You set yourself up for a huge letdown later. Therefore, you must choose someone who isn’t already committed and who you can call your own.”

“That’s right.” the girl’s paternal grandmother agreed. Then she began to speak.

Rule Number 2

“And never ever throw herself at a man, or worse- crawl up behind someone who doesn’t want you. I see a lot of young girls in your age group doing this and the only thing it does is make them look desperate.”

“Moreover, the guys they chase only get an ego rush from it, them sit back with the buddies and laugh at the girl behind her back. Now, I know you haven’t begun dating yet, but I want to let you know now, so that you’ll avoid these pitfalls when you do begin to date.”

As the girl’s paternal grandmother, a widow, spoke her words, she listened attentively and the maternal grandmother nodded in agreement as she looked at the young girl with those beautiful, wide, but serious eyes.

Now before I go on, I realize that times have changed since I was a young girl and that I may offend a few people out there who may accuse me of using stereotypical gender roles and such. However, the girl in the story was I and this is the conversation we had.

Therefore, for those of you who are thinking about sending me a flamer about how “politically incorrect” this post sounds and that I should be more “gender neutral,” do not!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t listen to the in things of today, listen to your heart.

Don’t waste both your time and mine by trying to “school” me on the unwritten rules of identity politics because I’m not interested! This post isn’t about identity politics.

What it is about is knowing your worth as a woman and a person. Also, it’s about the importance of self-value, which, sadly, is in short supply in people these days.

Getting back to the subject, my grandmothers sure knew what they were talking about. They were two of the smartest and socially savviest women I knew. God rest their souls, I considered them life-geniuses! They were both masters at human nature and the hidden motivations and intentions of people!

Our little talk really made an impression on me that day. I never forgot that conversation and continued to live by it.

Know Your worth as a Woman:

Rule Number 3

You must value yourself. Therefore, my point to the above story is that no matter what relationship you choose, heterosexual, homosexual, or otherwise, you should always know your worth. You should value yourself enough not to even begin a relationship with someone who’s already taken. Know that there are always better options.

I say this not to judge anyone, but to convince you to see that you’re worth so much more than you think. In other words, you’re worth so much more than being a side-partner to some creepy toad who doesn’t value women.

The same goes for men who have affairs with married women or settle for fem-toads who either don’t value them or who cheat on them. You must start treating yourselves better!

When you date someone who’s already in a marriage or committed relationship, you set yourself up to play second fiddle. To be okay with lapping up someone else’s sloppy seconds? Yuck! Why would anyone settle for that pathetic crap?

Here’s something else I’ll bet you haven’t thought of. If you have an affair with someone else’s romantic partner, you might as well be wearing their underwear! Egads!

Rule Number 4

Don’t settle. In other words, don’t be okay with someone who wants to only shack up with you!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

The Value of a Wedding Band

Too many women these days don’t value themselves like they should, especially women who have suffered past bullying and abuse. And many predatory men will take advantage.

Take it from someone who made that mistake when she was young and naive. Shacking up isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

A woman who prefers marriage over living together knows her value and isn’t afraid of making it clear what she wants out of life. She is confident and a man who is worth her time will respect her and be willing to commit his life to her and make her his wife.

In no way am I telling people how to live. If you’d rather live together than to be married, then that’s your business and I won’t judge you for it. And there are couples who live together and eventually marry but that’s a rare occurrence these days.

Know that you’re worthy of so much more.

If a man wants you to live with him but doesn’t want to marry, how much does he actually think of you? Really think about it.

He expects you to cook, clean, and go to bed with him every night, and yet, he doesn’t think enough of you to make it official? Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you accept. Seriously, don’t you think you deserve better?

Rule Number 5

Don’t be afraid to go after the relationship you want.

Don’t be like the woman in the video!

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t settle for anything less than what you deserve.

There are reasons why marriage is so much better than shacking up

1. There’s much more security.

Marriage is more legally binding than living together ever will be. Understand that people who marry make much more of a commitment to their partners than those who only live together.

2. There are higher levels of trust between partners.

The average couple who is married trusts each other more than the average couple who lives together outside marriage. I know that many will counter me with statistics of a high divorce rate. However, this should not deter you from getting married if that’s what you want.

When my husband and I were dating and the subject came up, I made it absolutely clear that the only man I would even consider living with would be the man I married. I knew what I wanted, and I didn’t fear speaking up about it.

Moreover, Mike loved and respected me for it. He thought a lot more of me, and eventually, he asked me to marry him. And the real kicker is that the first few times he asked, I said no because I wasn’t ready yet.

But he never gave up and eventually, I said yes.

3. Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Know your value. You are not free neither are you cheap.

There’s an old saying that was popular when I was growing up and it pertained to the attitudes of those who didn’t want the responsibility of marriage but wanted the perks of it:

“Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?”

Nothing is free. There’s always a price in some way, shape, or form.

If I perform the duties of a wife, then I’m damn sure going to have the title. If I’m going to wash some guy’s dirty underwear, clip his toenails, or wash his funky feet when he’s sick and cannot do it himself, you can believe I’m going to do it with a marriage certificate and a wedding band.

When two people are truly in love, the chances are high that they will marry.

Realize that you have value. If you want marriage and your boyfriend doesn’t want to step up to the plate after you’re together for a few years, then let him go.

It won’t be easy, but don’t be afraid to walk away if your guy isn’t emotionally mature enough for marriage. Then you can make room for a man who deserves you. Understand that you deserve to be a wife, not a forever girlfriend.

Know Your Worth as a Woman:

Don’t be afraid to walk away from emotionally immature partners.

Therefore, love yourself enough to walk away from a man of low quality. Value yourself enough to wait for a high-quality man who deserves you and who wants your hand in marriage. You’re worth it, don’t you think?

http://www.thebridalbox.com/articles/benefits-of-marriage_0051522/

http://www.thelist.com/41041/surprising-benefits-married/

If you don’t learn to value and be true to yourself, how do you expect a potential partner to value and be true to you?

You value yourself by getting absolutely clear on what you will not settle for and what you won’t tolerate. Also, you value yourself by avoiding such partners who are known for cheating on their significant others.

You also value yourself by avoiding any toxic person, commanding respect, and being selective of friends and even choosier of dating and romantic partners.

Know that you deserve so much more. You deserve to be one and only in someone’s life and that should be non-negotiable. Anything less than that is unacceptable!

This post was all about what it means to know your worth as a woman so that you can start treating yourself better and going after what you know you deserve.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why is Self Acceptance Important? 21 Must-Know Reasons

2. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

3. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

4. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

Seeking Approval: 5 Must-Know Reasons It Worsens Bullying

January 30, 2025January 7, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know the reasons that seeking approval invites more bullying? Here are all the reasons you must stop this self-defeating behavior now.

Too many victims suffer bullying so frequently and for so long they begin to look for any crumb of validation they can find. They think that somehow, kissing up will win them friends and allies.

But it only ends up doing the opposite. It only gets them doubly ridiculed and bullied. Also, it attracts even more users and abusers into their lives.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the reasons that seeking approval only gets you the exact opposite of what you want and how to let go of it.

Once you learn this vital information and put it to practice, you will be amazed at the positive changes that come into your life.

This post is all about approval seeking, how and why it sabotages your social life, and what you can remedy it.

Seeking Approval

5 Things That Happen When you Seek Approval and 3 Ways to Turn It Around

**1. You lose your freedom and autonomy to be yourself and to do what you want to do.**

In other words, you give away your personal power and become a slave to the thoughts and opinions of others.

You unwittingly put yourself at the mercy and whims of someone else. Therefore, you give away your personal power.

2. You lose sight of your goals and aspirations and replace them with goals of being liked, approved of, and favored by others.

And the fact is, there’s no guarantee that you will be liked, approved of, or favored. Why? Because there’s no way you can control the thoughts, opinions, actions, or words of other people.

You must realize that you are the only person in the entire world that you can control. Therefore, this makes it that much more important that you keep your focus on you.

Understand that you are your only guarantee. At the end of the day, all you have is you.

3. You stop being creative.

You only become a carbon copy of someone else, their style, and their way of thinking and doing things. When you do this, your creativity suffers. It’s much better to be original!

Think of it like a painting. No one wants a cheap knock off. They’d rather have the original because it’s much more valuable.

4. Seeking Approval:

You copy others.

When you copy others, you give up the ability to think for yourself. Instead of having opinions of your own, you conform to the opinions and beliefs that are most popular.

You say what others want to hear and do what others want you to do and how they want you to do it. In short, you allow yourself to be programmed and become a robot!

Understand that not everyone will like you or support you. And not everyone will want the best from you or for you. Some may, in fact, hate you and judge you harshly. Moreover, they may even derail you from your goals and sabotage your success.

Understand that when you seek validation and approval, you only look for permission from others. And it will leave you feeling controlled and imprisoned.

It’ll also erode your self-esteem. Each time you engage in approval-seeking behavior, you lose a piece of yourself until you completely forget who you are.

Remember the painting analogy. An original painting is more precious than a cheap, knock-off copy. No one wants a copy, they always want the original!

5. Instead of setting your own standards, you only conform to the standards of others (mainly bullies and abusers).

Understand that a bully’s standards are unachievable. Why? Because no matter what you do, who you are, where you’re from, or what you have; bullies will always- always move the goalposts.

In other words, they’ll change the rules, and find something else to use against you. Bullies will even weaponize your best qualities.

Therefore, you should always be yourself, no matter how difficult it may be. Don’t change for anyone. Realize that anytime you conform to someone else’s standards, you only lower your own.

Bullies will always find ways to target you.

Bullies will often make fun of the way you dress- even if you dress fashionably. Therefore understand that with bullies, it’s not about the way you dress. It’s not about your hair, makeup, hobbies, favorite music, family, or anything they make fun of. No!

Seeking approval:

Bullying is about power and control.

It’s about having the power to make you feel bad about yourself. Furthermore, it’s about taking away your confidence, your pride, your happiness, your health, peace of mind, everything that matters.

What if they make fun of your personality?

We all have quirks. Never change your personality. Continue to be yourself. Realize that anything you change to appease a bully today will be ridiculed tomorrow.

Again, bullies have a desire to control you to get that ego boost they’re seeking. So, understand that they get their kicks from making you jump through hoops to win their approval.

And you know what? You don’t need their approval.

Therefore, continue to be yourself and calmly blow the bullies off. Eventually, they’ll get bored and find another target.

Only you know what you like and don’t like. Only you can know what feels right to you and what’s best for you. So, don’t sell yourself short by living up to someone else’s expectations.

They don’t know you the way you do and you’re a separate person from them. Always remember that.

So, how do you turn it around?

1. You start by accepting and loving yourself.

This means embracing all parts of yourself- the good, the bad, and the ugly!

2. Stop Seeking Approval by Counting all the qualities of yourself that you’re proud of.

Everyone has great qualities. Find yours, and list them.

3. Ditch and Switch.

In other words, walk away from the negative people who make you feel bad about yourself. And don’t look back! Rid yourself of the haters, the naysayers, the whiners, complainers, and those with self-defeating attitudes.

Replace them with people who love you, who want nothing but your best. Seek people who lift you up and those you feel safe around.

Choose people who are happy and who take responsibility for their lives. Get rid of those who bellyache and blame others for their misfortunes.

Realize that once you do these things, you might get a lot of push-back at first. Many people get threatened and angry anytime you make positive changes in your life. Therefore, they may give you tons of grief for it.

But realize that people give you a hard time because they were benefiting from your approval-seeking behavior. And trust me! They don’t want to lose those benefits.

Also, understand that we live in a world full of copycats. In other words, most people only conform and seek approval themselves. So, it’s only natural that you get a ton of flack when you finally stop kissing ass.

Therefore, embrace the push-back and keep doing what’s right for you. To hell with what others think about it!

Only you know what’s right for you. No one else knows your inner reality but you. So, trust that and trust yourself.

I guarantee that you’ll be surprised at how it’ll change your life for the better. And you’ll only thank yourself for it later!

Life Begins When We Stop Seeking Approval

Interestingly, the people you seek approval from are mostly people who could care less about you. Even worse, you may seek approval from your bullies.

Therefore, understand that these people have absolutely zero respect for you. And to beg for their approval is counterproductive, not to mention, demeaning!

So, stop begging for validation from people who don’t deserve the time of day from you. Instead, ask yourself these questions.

If these people never gave a damn about me, then who are they that I should seek approval from?
Who are they that I must impress?
Are they really so important that I should pretend to be someone I’m not?
Who are they that I have to lie?
Who are they that I must expend so much of my effort and energy for?
Are these creeps people I should chase and crawl up behind?
Who are they that I should beg?

Never Give Anyone Value They Haven’t Earned

Notice those last two questions and the words “chase,” “crawl up behind,” and “beg.” They will immediately jump out at you and may even make you angry.

And you know what? They should. Remember that you’re seeking their approval.

Therefore, those three things are basically what you’re doing. Never seek approval from bullies, abusers, or anyone who neither respects you nor gives a crap about you.

Why? Because, when you do, you are, in a sense, giving them value they haven’t earned.

If, at any time, you must suppress parts yourself to gain acceptance from another person, you short change yourself. Realize that bullies will never add value or benefit to your life.

Therefore, they haven’t earned the honor and privilege of being in your life. They don’t even deserve to be in your presence.

When you submit to and follow the standards of others for the sake of validation and acceptance, you only lower your own standards.

Stop Seeking Approval from Anyone Who Isn’t Worthy of you.

In other words, stop busting your butt to impress others because you don’t need validation from them. Their opinions need not apply.

If anyone ever tries to impose their rules and standards on you, especially if they aren’t an asset to your life, you have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to tell that person to go crawl back under the horse-apple they wormed and wiggled their way from beneath.

Stop giving these creeps things they have no business having – your power and your freedom! And stop handing them control over your life! These are things they have no right to.

Your personal power and freedom are yours and yours alone. And if you give away those precious commodities, your bullies will only exploit, use, and abuse them.

However, once you take them back, your life will only get better. Take it from me. I’m living proof.

Life begins when you stop caring about their opinions and begin living life on your terms. Try it. I guarantee that you’ll thank yourself later!

Don’t you know you deserve to be happy?

This post is all about seeking approval and why it only exacerbates bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Disadvantages of Being a People Pleaser: 7 Consequences of Putting Yourself Last

2. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

3. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

4. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

5. Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

when you start seeing your worth as a human being

When You Start Seeing Your Worth,17 Amazing Changes Happen.

January 6, 2025January 7, 202516 Comments

‘Want to know all the amazing things that happen in your life when you start seeing your worth? Here are all the life changes you need to know.

Once you realize your worth, magical things begin to happen in your life. Amazing things you never thought possible!

In this post, you will learn all the awesome benefits that come when you start seeing your worth.

After you learn all these advantages, you will begin your journey to discovering just how much you’re loved and that you have a good purpose for being here.

This post is all about the amazing benefits you’ll see when you start seeing your worth so that you’ll be inclined to do the inner work and value yourself as a human being.

When You Start Seeing Your Worth

So, what happens when you start seeing your worth?

1. You refuse to have anything more to do with people who don’t.

Sadly, when you’ve suffered bullying, your self-esteem has taken a beating. Therefore, it’s too easy to feel you must cling to people who could care less about you.

However, once you begin seeing your worth, you begin weeding out all those who use and abuse you. You refuse to say around people who only tolerate you. This is because you value your time and some people aren’t worth one second of it!

Therefore, you refuse to make time for those who talk down to you or use you.

By kicking out the losers, you make room for better people to come into your life. In short, you start placing less value on the quantity of friends and focus more on quality of friends.

Therefore, you finally attract friendships that are fulfilling.

2. You stop settling for less than what you know you deserve.

In other words, you raise your standards. Not only are you selective of the people who come into your life. You begin applying for better jobs, and buying products of higher quality.

Moreover and most importantly, you command better service and better treatment. Therefore, you attract healthier people.

You accept nothing less than the best because you know you’re worth it!

3. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re no longer afraid to be alone.

You come to a place where you’d rather fly solo than put up with shoddy treatment. Moreover, you actually like being alone and prioritize your “me time” to relax and recharge.

Here’s another thing. You don’t toil over being single. You’re just as happy without a mate as you would be with one. Therefore, you’re willing enjoy your singleness until the right person comes along.

And when you get to where you enjoy your solitude, that’s when you know you’ve grown!

4. You begin loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to walk away from toxic people.

In other words, you’re no longer afraid to let go of fake friends and posers. And this goes even if a few of them happen to be those you love. And when you do let them go, you do it without concern over the outcome.

Moreover, you drop these people without guilt. Why? Because you know that it pays to be nit-picky of those you allow into your life.

5. You no longer give a damn what others think or say of you.

In other words, you’re not the least bit concerned with opinions. In fact, you actually embrace any dislike a few people have for you. Why? Because those people will no longer matter to you.

When you don’t care what other people think, you’re not afraid to put yourself and your needs first. Why? Because you realize that you can’t pour from an empty cup.

Therefore, you don’t feel guilty because you know that you must take care of yourself before you can take care of others.

6. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re no longer afraid to set boundaries.

This means that you have the guts to say “no” to things you don’t want. And when you say it, you mean it.

You’re also not afraid to stand up to people who cross the line with you. In fact, you’re willing to put on your bitch-face when the situation calls for it.

You don’t owe anyone a damn thing. You realize that respect is a two-way street. Therefore, you live by the mantra that others aren’t entitled to your respect. They must earn it!

7. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You give yourself permission to make mistakes.

Why? Because you know that mistakes are your best teachers. Therefore, you’re willing to learn from them. You also realize that no one is perfect. And that’s it’s okay.

8. You’re comfortable in your own skin.

In other words, you embrace the good, the bad, and downright ugly parts of yourself. You continue to feel beautiful whether you’re dressed in an evening gown or in your tee shirt, jeans and sneakers.

9. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re willing to take risks.

Why? Because you’re not afraid to fail. You know that if you do, you can always try and try again. Also, you know that if you try for long enough, you’ll eventually succeed.

So, you don’t quit. You keep going.

10. You look on the bright side.

In other words, you try to see the positive side to bad things that may happen. You may fail at doing this from time to time. However, you, at least search for the good side.

Therefore, your confidence doesn’t take such a big hit when things go wrong.

11. Your confidence goes through the roof.

In other words, you don’t fear rejection nor ridicule. Why? Because you realize that you’re just as good as the next person.

Again, you’re also not worried about who does or does not like you. Why? Because you like yourself, even if a few others don’t.

Therefore, you look forward to meeting new people.

12. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You’re a go-Getter.

In other words, if there’s something you want, you work hard for it. And you don’t stop until you get it.

If there are any roadblocks, you look for a detour. If you have setbacks, you keep working hard and power your way through it.

13. You work on your goals and follow your dreams.

If you have a dream, you aren’t afraid to strive for it, no matter how long it takes. Though haters and naysayers may try to discourage you, you pay them no mind.

Why? Because you see through the haters. You realize that their negative words only come from a place of jealousy. Moreover, you know that they’re only speaking from their own worldview.

Instead, you keep working toward your goals and dreams until you reach them.

14. You have nothing to prove to others.

You realize that the only person you must prove anything to is yourself. Therefore, you no longer feel the need to try to be someone you aren’t. Why? Because you know that your value is there even if others can’t see it.

you don’t waste time begging for approval. Moreover, you refuse to hang on to people who aren’t really your friends.

Therefore, you don’t waste your precious energy trying to impress those who aren’t worthy of you.

15. When You Start Seeing Your Worth:

You realize your potential.

You know who you are and what you’re made of. In other words, you are aware of your potential and the heights you can rise to.

You believe in yourself even if others don’t. And that’s what makes you so badass!

16. You’re not afraid to be yourself.

Therefore, you’re not afraid to be silly sometimes. In fact, you’re outgoing and others notice it.

Being fake takes too much work and you’re much too lazy to be fake. Therefore, you’re authentically you and it shows.

Moreover, you understand that fake personalities only draw in fake friends. you also know that to weed out toxic people requires you to be yourself.

In that, you keep the creeps at bay and make it a point to live life to the fullest.

17. When you start seeing your worth:

**You give Yourself the best gift of all – Freedom!**

Knowing your worth means self-acceptance. In other words, it means being okay with yourself, warts and all! Moreover, it’s giving yourself permission to feel those raw emotions any time some creep pisses you off.

Seeing your worth means freedom! The freedom to be human! To be you! And to celebrate yourself!

Therefore, get to know your worth and your life will change for the better!

This post is all about the life-changing things that begin to happen in your life when you start seeing your worth. Put simpler, it’s about the benefits you’ll reap once you do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

2. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

3. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

4. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

6. Disadvantages of Being a People Pleaser: 7 Consequences of Putting Yourself Last

Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

September 24, 2024December 21, 202418 Comments

Do you often wonder whether you have fake friends or real ones? ‘Wanna know the subtle signs people give when they only pretend to like you and be for you? Here are the time-tested and proven indicators that your friends don’t really like you.

Having fake friends can leave you confused, exhausted, and worst of all, depressed with a broken self-esteem. If you’re anything like I was years ago, you’re probably wondering whether you have friends or frenemies. As someone who’s experienced this firsthand, I’m giving you all the signs you must look out for to protect yourself from being used and betrayed.

You’re going to learn about all the signs of an undercover enemy, from jealousy, to gossiping, to trying to steal your partner, and more.

Once you learn about all these signs that you have fake friends, you will be more emboldened to take the steps you need to take to rid these people from your life once and for all!

This post is all about the signs of fake friends that every victim of bullying should know about.

Fake friends

There will always be those who only pretend to see your worth but really don’t. And some never will see it. It’s just a part of life on this planet and we shouldn’t waste another nanosecond of our time on those people.

However, some people are terrific actors and it can be hard to tell if you don’t know what signs to look for. You must know the signs or you won’t know who to hang onto and who to let go.

Before we get into the signs, we must first discuss the one prerequisite that comes before being able to recognize these indicators. These are things you absolutely must do before you can spot these red flags and put it to good use.

Prerequisite: Always trust your gut.

Your gut feeling, or sixth sense is something we all have. It’s that internal alarm that goes off in when there’s danger nearby. In other words, it’s that bad feeling deep in the pit of your stomach that warns you when evil is around.

This gut-feeling, or intuition, is triggered by the energy and vibrations the people around you put out. Therefore, if you pay attention, you’ll pick up on the yucky energy your friends exude.

However, be forewarned! If you aren’t careful, you’ll likely mistake that pit-of-your-stomach feeling for being overly-suspicious. Moreover, the little voice inside your head will admonish you. It will tell you, “Aw, C’mon! You don’t know that person. At least give them a chance.”

Realize that self-doubt is a tricky animal. It convinces you to go against your God-given instincts. In other words, it compels you to ignore your innate gut feeling.

Self-doubt is what talks you into ignoring the bad energy you feel when you’re around unsavory people. Consequently, you open the door and let into your life people who are evil and nefarious.

Therefore, Never Doubt Your Instinct when you suspect fake friends!

If you ignore these things long enough, you eventually become blind to the terrible vibes and energy bad people exude. ‘You see, the ability to pick up on vibrations and energy is like your muscles. It must be exercised to become stronger. In other words, if you don’t use it, you lose it!

Your God-given gut instincts are the last things that you want to atrophy. In this mixed-up world, you cannot afford for these things to weaken.

Therefore, you must trust your gut. Especially if you are a target of bullying. Never allow others to convince you that you’re being too overly-suspicious.

If they accuse you of being “p*ranoid,” that’s a red flag. Never listen when they tell you that you’re “cray-cray” for following your intuition.

If ever you pick up bad energy from the people around you, listen up and don’t walk. Run!

Here are the signs of fake friends:

1.You feel bad or awkward around them.

Energy doesn’t lie. Although you may not consciously know that the people you’re with don’t value you, you’ll feel it in their vibrations.

Therefore, avoid anyone who makes you feel that something is “off” because the vibes you feel are a warning. Realize that these people don’t deserve to be in your presence or your life. You deserve better.

2. Empty promises.

These people make all kinds of promises but never follow through. That’s a HUGE red flag! Again, you deserve better than them. It’s time to ditch and switch to better people.

3. Their words don’t match their body language or actions.

They tell you that they like you and that you’re the best thing since the invention of the wheel. However, they don’t act like it.

Instead, they run hot and cold toward you. Sometimes they speak, sometimes they don’t. Moreover, they may treat you like dirt or ignore you when other people are around.

Again, get rid of these losers!

4. Fake friends only want to be with you in private.

This means that they’re probably ashamed to be seen with you. They’re all over you when it’s just the two of you.

However, in public or when others are around, they ignore you and act like they don’t know you. Again, get rid of these no-counts.

5. You make all the effort in the friendship or relationship.

You are always the one to initiate contact, do all the calling, all the texting, and messaging. Also, you make all the visits to their house, using your car gas and your time. However, they never reciprocate.

This can get exhausting. At some point, you find yourself wondering if they really care.

Therefore, it’s time to stop making so much effort and let them do some of the work if they want to contact you. and if they don’t, there’s your answer. Find better friends.

6. Fake friends take and never give.

They only use you for what they can get from you, then disappear when you’re the one in need. Again, this is so revealing. Have nothing more to do with them..

7. They never tell the truth.

If you find that a friend has been lying to you, you have to wonder what else they will lie about. Therefore, it’s time to start choosing friends who are honest and let these people go!

8. They’re jealous of you when things are going well for you.

If your friends resent your achievements and successes, it’s time to cut ’em loose. You deserve friends who celebrate your successes with you, not ones who are green with jealousy and see you as competition.

9. Fake Friends get angry when you talk to your other friends or a family member.

This is a huge red flag! A true friend would never want to keep you all to themselves. True friends won’t block you from associating with other people who love you.

In fact, they would want others to love you too. Moreover, any friend who feels insecure any time you talk to someone else is not good for you. Get away from them, pronto!

10. They have nothing to say to you… until you Unintentionally piss them off.

Some people claim to be with you. However, you never hear a peep from them until you trigger them somehow.

Then suddenly, the floodgates fly open and all the hate and resentment rushes forth like a raging torrent. Be glad because this is how you know they were never for you to begin with.

Now you can weed them out before they do even further damage. Therefore, know your worth and get rid of those who don’t.

11. Fake friends always disappear when you’re in trouble and need them the most.

They’ll leave you to fend for yourself when bullies come for you. Additionally, they may not be supportive when you’re having a rough time. For example, fake friends do not visit when you’re sick or be there for you when you’re feeling low.

Again, dead giveaway. Steer clear!

If you see any of these signs, get rid of them…fast! This person should be about as welcome in your life as a turd in a swimming pool!

You owe it to yourself to let these leeches go!

12. They Take Sides with your bullies and people who abuse you.

If you friends defend the wrong people against you, realize that they were never even worth knowing. They only proved to you that they’re worthless and can never be trusted.

Your fake friends may have defended your bullies because they were afraid of being targeted themselves. However, that doesn’t matter. True friends stick up for you no matter what it may cost them.

Therefore, the last thing you want is a bunch of wimps for friends. I know it hurts when someone you thought so highly of suddenly throws you under the bus!

Believe me, I’ve been there. Betrayal by people you think highly of is the most painful part of being a victim of bullying.

However, as painful as it is, you need to realize that not everyone is worth your time. Not everyone deserves your friendship.

So, when people turn against you, understand that it’s only the trash taking itself out!

Therefore, what you want are strong and brave friends- friends with substance! You want friends with the cajones to have your back and tell the bullies to go take a long walk off a short pier!

13. Fake friends will believe any lies and rumors about you.

Anyone who believes the worst lies about you and turns on you so quickly is NOT your friend. Also realize that they never had much sack, to begin with.

Again, take out the trash and discard them. They’re no good for you!

Therefore, you must weed out all the frauds and attract the people who truly value you and who deserve the privilege of being in your life!

However, here’s one last thought to consider.

Great friends are hard to find. Because the strong and true are few in this world.

Realize that you must be picky when it comes to allowing people in your life. Why? Because, the cold hard truth is that most people really are a bunch of bagless, weak-kneed wusses.

Just as a girl must kiss many frogs to find a prince who’s worthy of her love, a target of bullying must weed through a great many wusses to find people who are worthy of her friendship.

For others to value you, you must first value yourself! And that means loving yourself enough to walk away from people who are worthless to you (i.e., the fake friends who betray you). Moreover, it also means loving yourself enough to be selective of people who come into your life.

This post was all about fake friends and the signs they give you that you must be aware of.

1. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

A Bully’s Power is Your Lack of Knowledge

December 7, 20224 Comments

If you are a target of bullying, you must have knowledge of not only where your bullies draw their power from, but where your own power comes from.

If you don’t know it, you must learn it. And once you do, you will disarm bullies from a very powerful tool. And that tool is your lack of knowledge. Realize that your lack of awareness of your own value, along with the bully’s nature, mindset, and tactics is their biggest power.

Therefore, when you understand the value that you bring and how bullies think and operate, their moves and power plays will no longer have any effect on you.

Again, your lack of knowledge of your own power and potential is the main area from where your bullies draw their power.

In other words, if you already know the bullies are bad news and that they aren’t worthy of your time nor consideration, they can’t get over on you. Why? Because it takes two to create a bullying incident- the bully and the target.

So, what pillars must you realize to understand your power?

1. Your goodness

2. Strength

3. Rights

In that, you know your value. And this is your power.

Additionally, when you don’t realize your value, that’s another one of the bullies’ greatest assets. And it’s why many targets simp out- they don’t know their value, rights, nor strength.

When You Simp, You Only Hand Over Your Power.

Many targets simp for approval, attention, and popularity and most don’t realize they’re doing it. In doing these things, you not only get worse abuse from the bullies, but you also lose respect from bystanders who would otherwise be friends and allies. Therefore, even the bystanders and witnesses will begin to mistreat you too. And that reason will be that you don’t respect yourself.

Understand that if you don’t respect yourself, no one else will respect you either.

Therefore, you must respect yourself and do it in the early stages of bullying. Because once the bullying has gone on for so long, it will be too late. And the way to self-respect is to have knowledge of your value and your power. Know your worth and you will know your power!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

6 Ways to Remain Standing in Your Truth When You’re a Target of Bullying

May 24, 20226 Comments

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to know that you do not have to accept the bullies’ lies as the truth because their truth (opinion) isn’t your truth. Understand that you are the only one in charge of your mind, body, and your life. You have the freedom to accept or reject the gawdawful messages your bullies may give you. You are the gatekeeper to your mind and spirit, and you can either take in or kick out the insults and attacks with which they bombard you.

So, how do you successfully kick out the junk bullies try to drum into your head?

1. By refusing to accept their garbage as truth. And you do this by seeing the attacks for what they are – lies. By judging you, bullies proverbially claim to have the ability to read your mind and to be privy to your inner world. In essence, they’re only playing God because they claim to know the unknowable.

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2. By knowing your worth. Always know that you’re much better than what your peers may say you are. Realize that their lies and opinions are worthless, so don’t add any value to them. Remember that they can only insult you if you don’t value their opinions.

3. By making positive affirmations with “I AM” statements every day. Sometimes you must look at your reflection in the mirror each morning and make affirmations to yourself. “I AM a good person,” “I AM smart,” “I AM worthy of love and friendship”… If you’re a target of severe bullying, doing this may feel strange at first but you’ll be surprised at how much better about yourself you’ll feel.

4. By countering the bullies’ attacks. It’s as simple as saying, “No I’m not,” when a bully tells you that you’re worthless, ugly, lazy, etc. Always counter any name-calling, insults, and negativity.

5. By saying “no” and asserting yourself. If any of your bullies make any demands of you. You have every right to say no and walk away. Even if they’re putting on the nice act and asking you to do something, you still have that right. Understand that when bullies suddenly turn nice and sweet, you can bet they’re only trying to manipulate you. Also, when they attack you, tell them in no uncertain terms that what they’re doing is unacceptable and that you won’t tolerate it. And there are many ways you can tell them. Anytime you’re assertive, you not only place value on yourself but give the message that there will be consequences if they violate your physical or psychological boundaries.

6. By re-enforcing your truth if bullies deny their abuse of you or try to blame you for it. It’s as simple as saying, “Yes you did.” If bullies deny they attacked you when you know darn well that he/she did, in fact, attack you. It’s also as simple as saying, “Don’t give me that crap,” if bullies try to blame you for their abuse, rationalize their behavior or justify themselves.

Remember! No one can tell you your truth but you. Bullies may take your good name, your opportunities, your physical health, and yes, even your life.

But they can never take your mind from you if you don’t let them. Bullies may try to tell you what to say and do, but they can never tell you what to think.

Your thoughts are the freest commodity you have! And they hold enormous power!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Roots of Insecurity

April 29, 202281 Comments

The words we hear from others can affect how we see ourselves, but they don’t have to if we don’t let them.

Targets of bullying are picked apart daily in every minute detail, and in every aspect of their existences. A bully may criticize something as minute as the way they write. Bullies may criticize a woman for sitting with her legs crossed or the way she applies her makeup. But I guarantee that it has nothing with the way the woman sits or puts on her cosmetics, it has everything to do with the bullies’ own insecurities that are buried within themselves.

In reality, the bullies may think the woman is awesome and their criticism could be taken as a compliment because the bullies know they can’t compete with her and certainly don’t deserve the time of day from her because they know they aren’t even on her level, so, they do whatever they can to tear her down and bring her to their level.

However, the criticism surely doesn’t feel like a compliment and can make you feel like crap, so, I’m very careful when I use my words here. Insecure bullies and abusers will say terrible things to us and they can stick with us if we’re not careful.

“You’re ugly!”

“You’re fat!”

“Your clothes look like hand-me-downs!”

“Your hair looks too straight!”

“Your nose is too long!”

“Your ears are too big!”

“Nobody likes you!”

“You don’t have any friends!”

This doesn’t mean what they say is true, but so many times, we let the words of bullies get into our heads. When bullies assault us with hurtful words, targets often sit and wonder:

“Why don’t they like me?”

“Why am I not good enough?”

“Am I too fat?”

“Am I too short?”

“Am I too weird?”

“Is it my makeup, my hairdo, or my clothes?”

And they do it regardless of whether what was said to them is true.

Understand that our insecurities will scream at us from time to time but if we chose to listen to those pesky little voices, which are most often only voices from past abusers, it only serves to damage our self-confidence and self-esteem. Granted, there will be times when you will question yourself and this is perfectly normal. But when you make it a habit, then it becomes a problem.

There will also always be someone prettier, better looking, smarter, or financially better off. That’s just life. This doesn’t mean that you don’t have anything going for you because you do but again, there will always be someone with more.

Therefore, never compare yourself to another person because you do yourself more harm than good. Realize that each one of us is blessed with great qualities, although some may not know what they are.

Insecurity is a tricky animal because it has a way of hiding in obscurity. Sometimes, we don’t even know we have it. Bullies are such people. Most bullies are bogged down with insecurities, which is why they always point out the shortcomings of others in attempts to hide their own and the self-esteem fix they get from it is only short lived. Then bullies will only come back for more.

Another reason why insecurity is so tricky is because the insecure person not only doesn’t realize it exists, but they also don’t know when they became insecure nor what caused the insecurity.

We aren’t born with insecurities. They are given to us by other people, those who unfairly criticized you during your early years. Maybe someone called you stupid, or ugly. Maybe someone told you that you didn’t look good enough or, weren’t smart enough to pass that class.

Maybe you had an abusive parent or family member who told you that you would never amount to anything. Maybe your dad left and never cared to spend any time with you. It could be that you had an older sibling who bullied you. Maybe your classmates repeatedly told you that you weren’t good enough and never would be. Maybe others trivialized your successes and told you that they didn’t matter. They stem from many different factors.

Nevertheless, there had to be that first person who berated you- that person who planted that seed of insecurity and they repeated the same behavior and nurtured that seed so that it would grow. Maybe others helped to grow that seed and it’s only festered inside of you. And that seed has negatively affected your relationships with others and continues to do so today.

But understand that we all have flaws and the best way to get comfortable with them is to own them and accept that you have them. You might as well get comfortable with your flaws if they’re things you can’t do anything about. Also, once you embrace your flaws, no one can hold them against you any longer. By accepting and embracing your flaws, you take back your personal power and squash any power that bullies ever had over you because the insecurity ceases to be.

Many bullies have also been victims of others. This is the reason they try to break your confidence, only bullies refuse to have that discussion because it would only cast them as being vulnerable. Also, bullies never took the time to acknowledge and heal their own hurts and insecurities.

Therefore, bullies will tear you down with their actions and words because they feel either inferior to or threatened by you.

Once and for all, I want you to understand that there will be that partner who tells you that you dress like a floozy even though you dressed the same when your partner met you and you actually dress rather conservatively. There will be classmates who criticize your laugh or your smile. There will be people who flat out tell you to shut up when you speak even if the words you speak make sense.

The criticisms that hurt us the most and have the potential to destroy us come from spouses, family, and friends- people we love and trust the most. It is those remarks that can do the most damage because these are the people who are supposed to love us, take care of us, and protect us. And we believe they do. We believe they only want what’s best for us so we attempt to modify and change who we are to satisfy them and gain their love and approval. And the more they berate us, the more we shape-shift, trying to attain that allusive approval, until we twist ourselves into a pretzel!

It amazes me how many broken children there are out there who don’t yet understand that there was never anything wrong with them. These children become bullies and grow up to be angry and bitter adults who will only spread their toxicity to others.

It’s much easier to make others feel small than to deal with what others have done to us. I was broken for a lot of years, brainwashed into thinking I wasn’t worthy of being treated well. I always thought I was vermin compared to others because that’s what I’d been told repeatedly by others.

It took me a 2 ½ decades to realize that there was nothing wrong with me and that none of the bullying, abuse, and torment people subjected me to was ever my fault. I was not defected, and I was never a bad person. In fact, I now realize that I’m an awesome person and if people who don’t know me choose to judge me and have issues with me, it’s their problem not mine.

And I hope and pray they get their mental stuff together before it’s too late because it takes someone who lives a miserable existence to go through life making other people feel like dog shit to feel superior.

Insecurity is a seed that plants itself deeply, which is why it can be difficult to deal with. But in order to heal, you must cut out the roots of it too.

And if you don’t take the time needed to deal with and heal it, you will continue to carry the insecurities that someone else gave you and they will affect the way you handle people and your future relationships- every one of them, whether they’re romantic, friendships, or family.

Realize that the insecurities you have were caused by other people who wanted to look and feel better and more powerful than you. They saw a good quality in you that threatened to overshadow them somehow. So, they went on a mission to tear you down to keep you from stealing their spotlight.

Always remember that the bullying and abuse was never about you, it was about them. It was about their fear of you overshadowing them. It was about their being afraid that you’d reach success and leave them in the dust. It was about something they saw in you that threatened their fragile egos.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullies May Turn Others Against You but Never Allow Them to Turn You Against You!

April 8, 202230 Comments

No matter what other people may think of you, you are the only one who knows who you truly are. Bullies are known for spinning smear campaigns and witch hunts to turn others against a target because it’s the only way they can make their lies and accusations seem valid. However, no matter how convincing the bullies may be and how many people believe the lies and rumors spread about you, it doesn’t mean the talk is true.

Only you can judge who you really are, nobody else can. I know it’s difficult not to question yourself when it seems that others hate you. Anyone who finds themselves in this situation would ask themselves, “What did I do?” or “What did I say?” It’s only a natural human reaction to being ostracized. It’s difficult not to blame yourself.

But please, for your own self-esteem, do not blame yourself. Remember that the problem lies with the bullies, not with you. You are not responsible for what is happening to you. Believe it!

Although others may turn against you, just make sure that you do not turn against you! Remember that reputation doesn’t equal character!

Continue to love yourself. Continue to take care of yourself and be true to your own heart! Continue to do the things that give you pleasure and surround yourself with those who do love you and want the best for you. Because during this time, you must ‘baby’ your self-esteem and your confidence!

Bullies may turn everyone else against, you! Just don’t allow them to turn you against yourself because you have no reason to hate yourself. So, love yourself even when it seems that others hate you. I promise you that your self-esteem will thank you for it! You will thank yourself for it!

With knowledge comes power!

I Never Wish I’d Been More Popular, I Wish I’d Loved and Respected Myself

January 31, 202261 Comments

I wish I had put myself first.

I wish I’d said “NO” a lot more than I did.

I wish I had been true to my own heart.

And I wish I had known my worth and realized my full potential.

In a nutshell, I wish I had been better at being me. But we all wish we’d done these things when we get older, don’t we? That we’d done something a little different- a bit better?

As I’ve gotten older, I’ve grown a very thick skin and learned to handle any confrontation with composure and aplomb. As we get older, we shed that shell we curled up and hid in when we were younger. We grow to love and accept ourselves as we are and become comfortable in our own skins and let me tell you! It’s immense freedom that you can’t describe!

I’ve learned that the reason people bully is not because of something the victim has said or done and that it is not the fault of the victim.

The reason bullies bully is because they have issues, whether it be a bad case of narcissism, low self-esteem, problems at home, jealousy of something the victims have that they don’t, or they have something to prove. I’ve learned that bullies, at their very core, are great big cowards and attention-seekers. That knowledge alone is freeing!

Just knowing why unsavory people do harm only serves as a huge buffer to any psycho/emotional blows.

Today, I no longer get bullied by anyone, but if anyone tries, I am easily able to swiftly put the person in their place, or laugh and blow the idiot off. Instead of getting hurt or angry, I get amused by them and am usually able to have fun with it.

Unfortunately, that takes time, learning, and most of all experience. I feel a sense of regret when I think of all the years I spent feeling insecure and sorry for myself. What a total waste of my time and energy!

You mustn’t take anything your bullies say as the truth. You must know that their actions or words have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them! Hey! I know it’s hard not to, and I know it hurts. I know it’s hard not to blame yourself when it seems that everyone, from every direction, is bombarding you with negativity.

However, I want you to love yourself and see the bullies for who they truly are- pathetic souls who are so desperately trying to look tough, smart, or cool. I want you to understand that bullies are trying their hardest to get attention. You must know your value. You also need to realize that some people are just wrong for you and do not belong in your life!

Most of all, rest assured that you will eventually find people who are right for you. And when you do, they will love you for being your loveable, beautiful, intelligent, and awesome self! There will come a day when you will be loved, appreciated, and celebrated for all that you are!

It happened to me, and if you don’t give up, it will happen to you too! You are worth fighting for! You are worth living for!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Believe It or Not, You Have the Power to Choose Whether to Accept or Reject the Labels

November 7, 20216 Comments

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to know that you have more power than you realize. You have a choice- a choice of whether to accept or reject your bullies’ labels and definitions of you.

I want to drum into your head this single truth: You have nothing to prove to anyone but yourself!

Bullying hurts, no doubt about it. And you may have to suffer the pain of not being accepted. However, if you have the inner strength to reject the insults and name-calling, you’re already ahead of the game and least likely to be controlled by your bullies.

Understand that when bullies take it upon themselves to define you, what they’re doing is playing God because they’re claiming to know the unknowable. All they’re doing is pretending to know you better than you know yourself. The underlying message of the bullies is that they can read your mind and that they know your inner reality, when, in truth, no one knows that information but you and you alone.

Realize that when bullies define you, they purposely try to create a role of their own making in which to cast you. I can remember several roles my bullies handpicked for me and there were four of them.

Crazy/mentally imbalanced
A promiscuous whore
An arrogant and uppity snob
A lying, manipulative con-artist

Bullies desire to create your reality for you. But the truth is that they don’t have the power to do it. Only you possess that power. They may make you think they have that power, but they don’t and never will. They’re only fantasizing and creating a world of make-believe without realizing it. And the reason they do this is to wrest control and domination over you.

I want you to realize that no one can have power over you unless you give it to them.

They cannot tell you what to do, say, feel, or believe.
They cannot know your motivations and intentions unless you speak them aloud.
They cannot know your wants, needs, and thoughts.

Those things are impossible for them because they’re not you!

When bullies attempt any of these “impossibles,” they may say things like:

“You’re only trying to get attention.”
“You’re just trying to make trouble.”
“You’re just lying to keep from getting hurt.”
“You’re only covering your ass.”
“You’re just trying to kiss up and score brownie points.”
“You’re only trying to get on everyone’s good side.”
“You’re just jealous because no one likes you.”

Understand that when they tell you things like these, they are second guessing you and your feelings, thoughts, motives, and intentions. Again, they’re playing God because they are claiming to know your inner world, which is impossible for anyone who isn’t you to know. And they’re doing it to intimidate, control, and dominate you.

I’ll say again.

You choose whether to accept or reject this nonsense! Know that the only person who can truly define you is you. You are the sole owner of your self-definition.

And you don’t have to explain that power or prove it. It’s there. Remember my friend’s quote I cited in one of my earlier posts a few months back:

“To be insulted by you, I must first value your opinion.”

– T-Ronn Hicks –

If you don’t value your bullies’ opinions, or, in this case, their definitions of you, then you’ll choose to reject them and they’ll have no power nor control over how you feel about yourself, nor over your emotions. And you’ll be able to take the wind out of their sails!

So, roll your eyes and blow your bullies off with disdain and a scoff. And if the bully happens to be your boss, do it in your mind (LOL) because your thoughts are free. Make fun of their ridiculous definitions because they only show just how delusional they are. You can even walk off twirling your finger next to your temple.

And before long, they just might get bored, go away, and leave you alone.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Confidence is Everything!

June 12, 20219 Comments

Confidence is the most important characteristic you can ever have, not only during school to ward off bullies, but all through life. It does not matter how smart you are or how high your grades are.

You can have five PhDs and be the smartest person on the face of the earth. But if you don’t have confidence, you will not be able to effectively communicate nor interact with people. Your social/people skills will be lacking and you won’t get anywhere in life.

Whether you choose to believe this, the reality is that other people really do have control over whether we succeed or fail in life. Other people are the gatekeepers to our success and if you think otherwise, you are only fooling yourself.

I’ll give you a few examples: You can’t get that high position you want without being selected for the job by another person- the interviewer, who could be the owner of the company, an HR manager, or supervisor.

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Even during school, although the vast majority of teachers and professors are honest and grade students fairly regardless of how they may feel about the individual, it’s still not unheard of for a student to receive a failing grade solely because the instructor didn’t like them. It does happen, though not often.

Confidence= great people skills= charm= great friends and connections= success!!! Great people skills will always trump smarts, good grades, high marks, and college degrees! Always!

Confidence, or lack thereof, is something that people notice right away when they meet you for the first time. When you walk into a job interview and meet your interviewer, he is going to notice right away whether you are confident in yourself and if you’re not, chances are very unlikely that you will get hired for that esteemed position that you have been coveting. The reason for this is that if you’re not confident in yourself, how then can you expect others to be confident in you?

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Make no mistake about it. Confidence is the number one ingredient in all areas of your life. It’s the first trait that potential employers look for and not only potential employers but also prospective associates, prospective customers, friends, and dates. Whether or not you are confident is something that everyone looks at unless they are so low on confidence themselves that they can’t afford to be the least bit selective.

This is why you must never let a bully take away your confidence. If another person has already taken it away, you must fight like crazy to get it back. You do this by surrounding yourself with people who love you and lift you up, doing the things you enjoy and are good at, showing off your talents, taking care of yourself, and taking pride in yourself and in your appearance. Only then will you begin to see your own worth.

If a person steals your confidence, they also steal your potential for success and happy life. In short, they steal your future. Bullies are confidence thieves! Never surrender your confidence to anyone! This brings me back to Ralph Waldo Emerson. He said it best when he made this quote:

“If I have lost confidence in myself, I have the universe against me.”

How right he was!