‘Want to know how to regain your power? Here are 9 ways to empower yourself that you need to know about.
Everyone wants to have power. In fact, it’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is the perfect description of hell.
However, bullies can strip you of your personal power. And if you no longer have your personal power, you are powerless.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to regain your personal power so that you can take back control of your life.
Once you learn all about this important information, you will be a powerful force in your own life. You will get back your freedom and your autonomy. Then you will be able to live your life as you see fit.
This post is all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and live your life on your terms.
How to Regain Your Power
Everyone wants power, if only a little of it. And sadly, bullies have ways of taking away your power.
Consequently, when a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. Figuratively, they’re only a leaf being blown around in the wind. They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them.
And it’s a terrible way to live. Without power, you don’t live. You only exist!
Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It’s the worst thing that could happen to you!
Real Power
Most people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments. In other words, they get their power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.
People who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Moreover, they feel powerful from having successful home lives. They may have a loving family and a happy home.
Therefore, they take great pride in their families.
Their power may also come from their talents, their finances, and their physical health. This is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they aren’t afraid to display their talents and gifts.
For instance, a husband and father gets his sense of power from his ability to provide for and take care of his wife and children. A writer gets her sense of power through her writing and the ability to achieve readership.
A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh. And a singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice.
An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. Also, students get their sense of power through making exceptional grades and through their diplomas and degrees.
But what do all these people have in common? It’s that they can all achieve their power without stepping on others.
Therefore, understand that getting power doesn’t always require hurting others. And there are no winners and losers. There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.
And personal power is real power!
How to Regain Your Power:
Personal Power
In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.
Personal power is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path- to choose your own wants.
It’s having the autonomy to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you already direct your own life-movie.
Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Therefore, you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.
You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course. However, with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.
You may have to take detours and you may have to take the long way to your destination. But you know where you’re going, and you eventually get there.
There are two types of power.
Power Over
Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because most bullies are incompetent fools who have no real intelligence. They only know how to act intelligent and fool others.
Moreover, they also have no sense of responsibility. They have no talent and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.
The only way bullies can achieve power is to inflict harm on others. The only way they can achieve satisfaction in their jobs, families, or finances is by steamrolling people.
Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.
Power over is lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. It violates boundaries.
Power over shows no respect or regard. Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom.
In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (the victim). It is a zero-sum game. Always!Power over is against personal power and it only takes it away.
If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free. And you’ll finally begin living instead of existing.
How to Regain Your Power:
Bullies use Power Over.
What do we mean when we mention, “personal power?” Simple. We mean the ability to influence the events that happen in our lives.
When bullies target you for bullying, they find ways of stripping you of your personal power. Most do this bit by tiny bit.
In other words, they gradually escalate the attacks until they leave you utterly powerless. However, there are simple methods you can use to reclaim your personal power and feel more in control of your circumstances.
9 Ways to Empower Yourself
1. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.
When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for any lies and name-calling your bullies bombard you with. Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself.
Moreover, you won’t make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel most alive.
3. Be okay with who you are.
Realize that you are perfect just the way God made you. However, know that it’s okay if you want to improve yourself. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a better version of yourself because there’s always room for improvement.
And this goes for everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.
Never put yourself down because bullies and others are putting you down. No matter what they say or how they act toward you, don’t lose sight of your worth.
Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it. Practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.
3. How to Regain Your Power:
Follow your goals and dreams.
What is your passion? What are the things you love to do the most? Whatever they are, follow them and do the things you absolutely love to do.
Do what makes you feel alive! Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone thinks of you.
Additionally, you’ll be so busy working on your goals and pursuing your dreams that they won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!
But be prepared for others to resist your positive change.
Get ready for bullies to notice the positive change in you and put up some resistance to it. How will they do this? They’ll intensify their attacks.
They’ll ridicule the positive changes you make. Also, they’ll bring up your past.
However, realize that they will do these things because the new you will threaten their power. Moreover, the new happier and more confident you will be something that your bullies won’t be used to seeing.
And it will throw them off balance. But don’t allow the fear of it to stop you. Keep working on you and doing what you love. I guarantee that it will pay off later.
Understand that your bullies have grown comfortable in seeing you depressed, miserable, and beaten down. Moreover, when you begin this positive change, you take your bullies out of their comfort zones.
And most people love their comfort zones and will fight like the devil to stay in them.
4. How to Regain Your Power:
Replace negative self-talk with that which is positive.
In other words, stop beating yourself up. Realize that your bullies and abusers have conned you into believing that you aren’t good enough. But you are good enough and that you’re just as worthy as the next Joe Schmo.
Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll never be good enough,” say, “I AM good enough now and I’m only going to get better.”
5. Walk away from toxic people.
Toxic people only want to bring you down and keep you there. These people are bullies and abusers. However, they can also be fakes who pose as your friends.
Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults you doesn’t deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments at you.
You’ll be much happier without them. So,be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!
6. Get healthy.
When you’re healthy, you’re happy. Get outside and get some sunlight. Don’t forget to exercise. I promise you that you’ll feel so much better! Also, you’ll have more of your power.
Taking these steps may feel strange at first. Trying new things always does. However, with time, it will become like second nature and you will feel so much better about yourself.
You’ll feel stronger, more confident and freer! Now that is power!
Moreover, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your life will improve!
7. How to Regain Your Power:
Expose the bullies by reporting them to a manager or a school staff member.
Understand that bullies and their followers may call you a snitch. However, when it comes to your personal safety, you’re not being a snitch.
You’re only trying to protect yourself by getting the teacher or supervisor involved. This may or may not work. However, it’s always wise to report the bully if you cannot take care of it on your own.
Maybe you’re a small 5′ 4″, 110 pound female being bullied at work by a 6′ 4″, 225 pound gargantuan male. In cases like these, report it to a supervisor or manager and even police, if need be.
8. Turn your pain into power.
What do I mean by this?
You can take any abuse you suffer and use it for the benefit of others. That’s a success! And it’s the best poke in the eye and slap in the face to your bullies and abusers.
I say this because I get plenty of push-back from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this. If you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they know they’re guilty.
If they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t care so much. Also, If your voice wasn’t so powerful and you weren’t telling the truth, your bullies wouldn’t push back so hard.
The reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages is that your former abusers know you’re telling the truth. And they’re scared to death that you’ll expose them.
How to Regain Your Power:
Also, here’s another interesting point you probably haven’t thought of.
Your bullies are probably angry that they failed to accomplish their objective. And that objective was to destroy your life.
In other words, they expected you to drown. They just knew you’d crash and burn, and you didn’t!
Therefore, that’s a huge disappointment to them. It’s a blow to their overinflated egos! And now, they’re coming back to try and finish the job.
Therefore, you should welcome their resentment. Why? Because it only shows that they’re desperate.
This should only inspire you to double down on spreading awareness of bullying. And it should encourage you to keep reaching out to other victims with your message.
Moreover, it should compel you to speak to them about why people bully. And you want to call out the tactics and mindsets of bullies and expose them.
And lastly, your bullies’ behavior should make you want to warn victims of the effects of bullying. You must show other victims what to look for. In short, they only light a fire under you.
Another way you can turn your pain into power is to stop calling yourself a victim and refer to yourself as a target instead.
9. Be successful!
Success is the best revenge against bullies. Therefore, work on your goals and pursue your dreams. Go after the life you want!
Then watch your bullies lose their minds as you achieve success after success!
This post was all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and take control of your life.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power
2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters
3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense