‘Want to know how bullies gain power so that you can use it to your advantage and better protect yourself?
If you’ve ever been a victim of bullying, you’ve probably wondered how bullies magically do bad stuff, convince authority to side with them, and get away with it. Moreover, you’ve wondered how they seem to advance quickly and bypass any rules.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly how bullies gain power so that you can call it out and protect yourself.
Once you learn all about these details, you will be able to better understand this dynamic, prepare yourself, and use it to your advantage.
This post will give you the answers to how bullies gain power so that you can know what to expect with bullies and defend yourself against them.
How bullies gain power
First, lets talk about the reasons bullies crave power.
Why Bullies Crave Power
Simple. Because it feels good.
“Power is not what you have. It’s what the enemy thinks you have.” ~ Saul D. Alinsky (Rules for Radicals)
Bullies crave power like a kid craves candy, even if that power is only an illusion. And, let’s face it, power tastes delicious.
Power feels good because it gets people prestige, street cred, notoriety, and popularity. Moreover, power has a way of cushioning the ego. As we already know, most bullies lives are meaningless outside the bullying environment (school, work, community, etc.).
Do you ever wonder where bullies get their power and how they seem to get away with their evil actions?
1. They’re notorious suck-ups.
Bullies have a knack for appealing to those in authority and winning them over to their side. Understand that bullies are very convincing liars and they use charm and allure to disarm authority.
Also, most people in authority love it when people suck up to them and bullies instinctively know this. And because bullies kiss the right butts, supervisors, managers, and HR are more likely to overlook it.
This makes it easier for them to thumb rides on others’ coattails.
Moreover, in school, bullies often suck up to teachers, principals, and school officials. Moreover, many impress them with academics and being on the sports teams and in clubs.
Add that to their parents having connections with town and city big-shots, and they have the freedom to bully at will.
2. How Bullies Gain POwer:
Taking credit for other people’s work and ideas.
Bullies are, in many cases, the most clueless and incompetent employees in a company. I’ve known many who didn’t have the sense to come in out of the rain.
However, they somehow convinced supervisors and managers that they were the brightest of the bunch. Also, the bullies were the ones who always seem to get all the promotions and bonuses.
It turned out that these creeps were taking credit for the works and ideas of others. And when I discovered this, it hit me. This is why incompetent bullies are so successful at concealing their stupidity?
Additionally, bullies undermine the accomplishments and successes of other employees. Moreover, they talk over them to keep them from speaking and deride coworkers they view as threats.
Is it any wonder they’re able to get away with their garbage and worse, rewarded for it?
The sooner we get the word out and bust these predators, the more we’ll know what to look for in cases such as these.
3. Bullies are very convincing liars.
Bullies have been lying and covering up bad behavior all of their lives. Moreover, they’ve done it for long enough that they have learned what works and what doesn’t.
Therefore, they’re master manipulators who are skilled in the arts of deception.
Also, bullies are also very good at rationalizing and justifying their atrocious behavior. They are wordsmiths and con artists, who use charm to deceive those in authority. This brings us to number four.
4. How Bullies Gain Power:
Bullies are charming to the right people.
In other words, as mentioned in number 1, they kiss ass. But here’s another thing to consider. Bullies can weaponize this charm against their victims.
How?
Again, most bullies seem to emit an oozing charm. Because of this, they have ways of winning people over and making them their allies.
Therefore, with their good name, the bully has everyone (except the victim) fooled. For example, let’s look at the seemingly sweet, innocent girl who bullies another girl who threatens her position in a school.
Others want to be like her. She seems like a winner. Everyone loves her and envies her seemingly charmed life.
The bullied girl reports her. However, others just can’t believe that “this sweet, innocent, pretty little girl” would harm a fly.
Here’s another example:
Take a look at the outgoing guy that everyone loves.
He seemingly comes from good family. He’s the star of the football team, has good college prospects, and his future looks bright. However, he bullies a smaller boy and beats him badly enough to send him to the hospital. All because the boy is smaller!
The bullied boys’ parents press charges. But sadly, no one believes that this “fine young man” would ever beat up a smaller boy unless he was provoked.
5. How Bullies Gain POwer:
Having many friends who cherish them.
Therefore, even if these friends did witness them undertake any wrongdoing, they will act as if they didn’t see anything. In other words, they will cover-up for the bully out of loyalty and place the blame on the target.
6. There is strength in numbers.
Understand that most bullies attack in groups, or more appropriately, mobs. Being in a mob gives people tremendous power and bullies know it. Therefore, people in large numbers wield a cumulative power that packs a mighty punch.
This can be overwhelming even for the greatest, toughest, strongest, most intelligent individuals. To put it plainly, if enough people actively hate a certain person, that person is powerless. And this stands, no matter how strong, smart, beautiful, or easy-going they may be.
In other words, if enough people are against you, you don’t have a chance in hell.
However, know this. Individually, most bullies don’t have a life. In other words, they need the mob to prop them up. So, the power they get from being a part of a mob adds “meaning” to their lives that they could never get by any other means. Power is what gives bullies a cause and a purpose in life.
Moreover, in a group, they can bully a target, lose themselves in the bullying, and get a degree of anonymity.
Therefore, bullies are much safer in the group. The group shields each bully from taking any responsibility for their appalling behavior. Groups provide protection from exposure and personal consequences.
How Bullies Gain Power: Each Individual member does so from the group
So, how do you fight back against a mob?
One way is to call out one or two of their members by their names and tell them to “get a grip,” “knock it off,” or “calm down.”
It’s true. I recently read this in a book about survival and it makes perfect sense. Anytime you call out a few members of a mob by their names, it brings them back to themselves by personalizing them.
What you’re doing is basically, separating them from the mob when you loudly call out their name. How I wish I’d known this earlier in life.
7. How Bullies Gain Power:
They use projection.
Bullies project all their faults and shortcomings onto their victims. In other words, they switch the roles and paint the victim as the instigator and themselves the innocent victim who was only defending themselves.
However, when that doesn’t work and they do face accountability for their evil actions, they often cry and feign victim-hood. This tactic is usually employed by female bullies, who also use feminine charm to deceive.
8. They use gaslighting.
In other words, they add their own spin to make you feel like the villain. Your bullies may lay guilt trips on you trying to convince you that you had it coming.
Also, they may try to tell you that the abuse is just your imagination. They may even tell others who will listen that you’re mentally unhinged to discredit you.
However, you must realize that bullies are masters at this. Don’t allow them to gaslight you! Don’t fall for their BS!
9. They use intimidation and fear tactics.
Bullies may threaten you with social consequences to keep you quiet. Also, they may even threaten physical violence. Moreover, they may threaten your friends or family members if you don’t comply with their wishes.
Therefore, it’s wise to pick and choose your battles. In other words, if you know the bully to be a blowhard, then don’t fall for this. However, if the bully is known to harm others’ especially go after friends and family of their victims, defend yourself with caution.
The sooner you learn all about these human predators, the more you’ll know what to look for and how to protect yourself and other innocent victims. Then, you can find ways to use your bullies’ antics as your own power.
This post was about how bullies gain power and how to recognize each power play.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground
2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies
3. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders