Tag: help

Targets of Bullying Risk Becoming School Shooters (Part 3)

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(Continued from Part 2…)

As I mentioned in the two earlier posts, school shootings are at an all-time high today. This must STOP!

No matter how horribly you are treated, no matter how angry, sad or lonely you are, it is never okay to take a life. NEVER! Bullying and mental illness, although a cause, it is never an excuse! There is nothing- nothing that justifies killing another human being unless you have an intruder in your home and they are threatening your life and the lives of your family. Murder is wrong and there are better and more productive ways to handle being bullied.

Let’s put it another way: Anytime you bring a gun to school and shoot a bully who has tormented you, you automatically cease to be a victim and make them (the bully) the victim. Sorry, but it is what it is! When you kill someone, you no longer get to claim victimhood. That’s just how the world works. Instead, you make the BULLY the victim!

This is exactly what bullies want- to look like the victim in the eyes of others while sneakily torturing their targets and making them look like the bad guys. By shooting them, you only make it so much easier for them to do that.

Remember that bullies are masters at feigning victimhood, which is the reason they go unpunished while the target looks guilty. Your bullies have looked innocent and vilified you in the eyes of others for far too long!

Why then would you want to make them even bigger victims than what they already look like? They have already destroyed your reputation and shooting them would only confirm the lies they have spread about you as truth- that you really did turn out to be a despicable person.

Let’s look at it yet, a third way: If you shoot your bullies, their names will be engraved on a memorial at the school, while your name will be regarded with shame and contempt. You will go down in history as a disgusting and vile monster while your bullies will be remembered as either heroes or martyrs. Seriously! Is that what you want???

When you take the life of another human being, you not only put shame on yourself, but also your entire family! Do you really want to put the people who love you through that? Once you kill someone, you can never rectify it!

Nicolas Cruz didn’t think about this when he snapped and decided to go to Margorie Stoneman Douglas High School and shoot his classmates. Yes. He was a victim of bullying because he was considered “weird”. One of his classmates, Emma Gonzales even admitted to bullying him. Yes, his classmates should have reached out to him.

However, because he chose to handle it the wrong way by picking up a gun, the fact that he was bullied is no longer relevant. That’s. Just. Reality!

If you shoot someone, nobody will care what your reasons were. And it’s the same attitude with Nicholas Cruz. Nobody cares that he was bullied. Nobody cares that he was pushed over the edge! And if you let them drive you to do something so counterproductive, no one will give a damn that they drove you to do it, truth or not!

Yes, bullying is a hell that only few can comprehend. I understand the intense rage which builds to a burning climax after having been dehumanized for so many years. I understand the feeling of hopelessness. Why? Because I’ve been there- in the trenches!

Trust me when I say, “I get that”. But! You must think before you act. You must keep your wits about you, no matter how difficult it may be.

Thinking ahead and of the possible consequences I would have faced and how it would have devastated my family and killed any prospects of a great future was what kept me from doing something which would have altered my own life and the lives of not only my classmates and their families, but also members of my own family as well.

With that said, I beg you! DON’T DO IT! If at any time you’re being bullied and you’re about to lose control, get help – FAST!

Instead, conquer your bullies by taking care of yourself and making positive changes in your own life. Transfer to another school and reinvent yourself if you must. It’s what I did!

Accomplish your goals and strive for self-betterment! It could be as simple as doing something you’re good at and winning an award for it, or making an A on a test!

Instead of picking up a gun, pick up as many successes as you can. Instead of a gun, let SUCCESS be your weapon of choice! Because, as Frank Sinatra quoted, “being wildly successful is the absolute best revenge you can ever take” against a bully! I guarantee it!

It’s about self! Make it about you and what you can achieve! Forget those who don’t give you a thought! Screw ’em! Because they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life anyway! Make a lot of money! Win a truckload of awards! Write a book! Cut a CD…whatever fulfills you! Grab as many successes and happy moments as humanly possible! That’s what you do when people refuse to see your value!

Create your own value with SUCCESS!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Targets of Bullying Risk Becoming School Shooters (Part 2)

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(Continued from Part 1…)

Sadly, school shootings have skyrocketed in the last twenty years. But what if I told you that each incidence could have been prevented? What if I told you that we CAN prevent the next shooting…before it happens?

In part 1, I discussed the issue of mental health in school shootings, which is often ignored by the masses. Many want to preach about the importance of gun control or, on the opposite end of the spectrum, gun promotion. However, they fail to discuss the root problems which too often lead to these tragedies- bullying and mental health.

Preventing future shootings is easier than you think. All it takes is to seek out the kids in your school, whom are bullied, ignored, marginalized, sad and alone. You have to admit that these kids are the easiest to spot.

I can guarantee that if everyone reached out to the kid who always sits alone in the lunchroom, to the kid known for having his face slammed into the lockers, the kid who gets a swirly every day, the poor girl who is constantly slut/fat-shamed, or the pregnant girl or teen mother who’s relentlessly being called a whore and gave them a kind word- an encouraging message of love, and them know that they still matter and have value, I’m positive that it would make a huge difference.

Kindness costs nothing. Just one kind word or gesture, just ONE, can be the difference between life or death, the difference between a senseless suicide or the will to live, and the difference between the decision to go on a shooting spree at school or to leave the gun at home and employ more constructive and productive means to handle bullying!

Think about it!

(To be continued in Part 3…)

Targets of Bullying Risk Becoming School Shooters

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With the many shootings which have happened, such as the Jonesboro, Parkland, and Santa Fe school massacres, it has been placed on my heart to write about something which needs to be discussed but, sadly, isn’t by many. It should be no surprise that bullying is almost always a factor in the uptick of school shootings, which have plagued our country for the last twenty years. Before we go any further, let me remind you that being bullied, no matter how severe, is absolutely no excuse for taking human lives, and I would never condone such an action!

However, many shooters have been victims of bullying, who were pushed to the breaking point. They finally snapped after many years of relentless and repetitive abuse by their peers and being rebuffed by school staff in their attempts to report bullying incidences and get help. Therefore, they resort to bringing a gun to school and leaving death and mayhem in their wake! The shooters then turn the gun on themselves to avoid prison, and the end result is that families and loved ones on both sides and entire communities are left devastated!

One such example is the Columbine Shooting in April of 1999. I have read many articles about this particular case. It was stated by many experts that the perpetrators, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, had for years been bullied outcasts, who’d only gotten fed up with the continuous negative treatment and finally went into a rage and lashed out, as have so many other victims since then. Again, I cannot stress enough how wrong and counterproductive bringing a gun to school really is! However, I believe there is something we’re missing here- the issue of mental health and bullying, which often leads to these tragedies.

Before the pandemic, school shootings had become so common that they’d become a political issue and fodder for the agendas of both the left and the right wings, with the left pushing for gun control and the right’s push to arm teachers and tighten school security. Although these certainly are legitimate issues that need to be addressed before the end of the pandemic and schools are fully functional again, it seems that almost no one is discussing the root cause of these shootings- bullying and/or mental health.

I believe that “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure”! Perhaps if we reach these bullied and at-risk youth and show them that they are not alone and that they matter just like everyone else, we will be able to save them from the possibility of becoming violent and, ultimately, bring down these horribly high statistics! I will explain this in more detail in part two.

(To be continued in Part 2…)

Why It’s Important to Report Bullying When It Happens to You

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 I can’t stress enough the importance of reporting the bullying you suffer if you’re a target. Yes, speaking out is scary and yes, it involves taking a huge risk of being retaliated against.

But understand that anytime your bullies retaliate against you for reporting them- anytime they seek to punish you for daring to open your mouth, it only goes to show that they’re only scared to death!

It also shows that they’re desperate, but, more than that, it shows that they’re guilty! Because if they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t need to retaliate and they wouldn’t need to try and silence you.

Most people still haven’t caught onto this yet, but behind every bully’s retaliation for a target’s reporting their abuse is the fear of being exposed and the knowledge that they’re guilty.

Understand that, though members of authority and bystanders you speak out to may not want to listen to your pleas for help, the truth is that they can never unhear what you’ve told them.

And though they all may cover for the bully and deny they saw any bullying take place, they can still never unsee it. The important thing is for it to reach their eyes and ears.

Think about this. Warplanes always get bombarded with the most flack any time they’re flying over their target- this is when the battle is at it’s absolute worst! You see, the closer the plane gets to the target, the more the enemy will escalate their defensive attacks.

It’s the same with bullies, any time you’re over the target and pegging them on their BS, any time the bullies suspect that you’ve got their number, they will hurl all kinds of insane attacks on you. So, expect it, accept it, and, most importantly, prepare for it.

And if you ever find yourself in this kind of situation, don’t let them shake you. Always remember the warplane analogy and you’ll better withstand the onslaught. Even better, you’ll be able to call it out when it happens.

You’d be surprised how much easier it is to fight against something once you can put a name on it and explain it. A problem that you can put a name on and explain clearly is a problem you can more easily solve.

With knowledge comes empowerment!