‘Want to know about bullying and gaslighting and the different ways bullies may gaslight you? Here are all the important things you need to know.
Bullying is bad enough. However, when you top it off with gaslighting, it only victimizes you over and over again. You don’t have to put up with it.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and gaslighting and seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can use these gaslighting phrases and tactics to protect yourself.
Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be a warrior against any gaslighting some creep tries with you.
This post is all about bullying and gaslighting. It gives you the seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can successfully push back against it and save your self-esteem from being torn to shreds.
Bullying and Gaslighting
Before we get into the different ways bullies gaslight you, let’s first discuss exactly what bullies do when they gaslight you. So, what is the definition of gaslight?
Gaslight- to psychologically manipulate someone into doubting their own perception of reality.
Remember that bullying is all about domination and control. Once the bully selects you as their intended target, they will start out subtly. Then, they will slowly increase the severity of their abuse.
Moreover, they will do everything possible to maintain that power. And how they maintain power is to gaslight you, once you begin defending yourself.
Understand that bullies get a huge psychological payoff at your expense. Abusing you gives them that psychological reward.
And that reward is the rush of power and a sense of authority and control they get at your expense.
Psychological Rewards of Bullying.
We just mentioned some of the rewards – power, control, dominance, and a sense of authority. However, what are other psychological rewards bullies get from bullying you?
When bullies bully you, others also reward them with attention, high social status and promotions.
Therefore, again, bullies will fight like the devil to keep those benefits. Moreover, if you speak out and shed light on their behavior, that’s when the gaslighting begins.
Bullying and Gaslighting:
How Gaslighting Starts
When you begin noticing that your bullies are abusing you, you’ll likely report it. Moreover, you’re also likely to begin standing up to them.
And once you start rocking the boat, your bullies will become angry and afraid. Why? Because you become a threat to their power.
Therefore, the bullies only increase the abuse to subdue you. But that’s not all. Your bullies also want to punish you.
Seasoned bullies maintain power by psychological and emotional abuse. This involves, gaslighting. However, it also includes brainwashing to dis-empower you.
Realize that they use these methods because this type of bullying leaves no visible evidence. Therefore, it’s much easier for them to deny it.
7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims
1. Persistent lying
Bullies tell vague lies, trying to make you believe that you that you are defective somehow. Also, they may try to convince you that you deserve the mistreatment.
I say, vague lies because, if you notice, they never tell you what your defect is. They also never tell you exactly what you did to deserve the abuse.
Moreover, bullies will spread lies about you to other people. They may tell them,
- “He’s a waste of space, and he needs to realize it already!”
- “She’s such an embarrassment! How does she even show her face in public every day?”
- “She brought it all on herself!”
However, they’ll never, ever elaborate on any of those statements. And they won’t have to. Why? Because the people who hear these things will fill in the blanks.
They will most likely assume that you must have done something to deserve the abuse. Because, why would this person say such terrible things about you if you didn’t have it coming?
Bullying and Gaslighting:
What Your Bullies Will Say to You
- “What are you smiling about? Nobody likes you! Remember?”
- “I’m not bullying you! You’re just over-reacting!”
- “You’re just being (overly sensitive, a crybaby, etc.)! You need help!”
- “Nobody’s mistreating you! You’re just playing the victim to look innocent to everyone else!
- “You think you’re (smart, pretty, cute, tough, cool, etc.), don’t’ you! You’re nothing!”
- “You’re so (arrogant, ugly, etc.)!”
- “Nobody will ever believe a word you say!”
I could go on and on.
Understand that bullies deliberately repeat these lies to convince you that they’re right. Moreover, they repeat these lies for weeks, months, even years.
However, the constant repetition has a purpose! And that is to brainwash you and turn you against yourself. If your bullies get get you to see yourself through their eyes, then they can get everyone else to as well.
In other words, if you start to believe the bully’s lies, others will too.
As a result, you become riddled with confusion. Also, you may develop social anxiety and shame. Eventually, you’ll lose the ability to counter the attacks
You must realize that this is all a strategy. And it’s designed to keep you under their control and from rebelling against the abuse.
2. Bullying and Gaslighting:
Wearing you down and forcing you to agree with them.
Bullies continue to bully you. In fact, they intensify the bullying. But, understand that they do this for a reason.
And that reason is to wear you down until you’re is so tired of having to fight. Standing up for yourself takes a lot of energy. It puts you in survival mode.
Being in survival mode for a long time only tires you out. It depletes you of energy. This is how your bullies weaken you and take the fight out of you.
If you aren’t careful, you’ll grow so tired you’ll likely give up. And once you give up, your bullies have you right where they want you.
As a result, you’ll shut down, grow numb to the abuse and surrender to the bullies.
3. Becoming Highly Aggressive When you Call Out the Abuse
Bullies may try to maintain power by become extremely aggressive. Understand that this is designed to make you afraid. If they can subdue you with fear, then you’re least likely to keep standing your ground.
Moreover, your bullies can continue to subjugate you and keep you quiet. It also allows them to escape accountability and clear the way for future attacks.
4. Bullying and Gaslighting:
Blaming and Shaming You
Bullies blame you to take the guilt away from themselves. Moreover, when you speak out about their abuse, they will shame you for opening your mouth.
They may call you a crybaby, a wuss, a whiner, or a tattle tale. However, whatever they call you, bullies do it to shame you into silence.
5. Isolating You (Divide and Conquer)
Bullies will try to isolate you through social aggression. They’ll spread rumors and lies about you. Also they may threaten and intimidate your friends and associates for having anything to do with you.
Understand that bullies pull this tactic to get your friends to stop talking to you. If they can impose a high penalty on your friends for associating with you, the more likely they are to turn their backs on you.
If they can do this, then they can cut you off from any support or protection you may otherwise receive.
Then, once you’re isolated, the bullies then move in for the kill and take the abuse to new heights.
But wait! Here’s another thing bullies may do.
If you express a desire to leave the environment (change schools or workplaces), the bullies may try to discourage you from leaving. Moreover, they’ll do it by convincing you that you won’t be treated any better anywhere else.
They may even try to block your transfer to cut off any means of escape.
6. Bullying and Gaslighting:
Trying to convince you that you need their approval to get along.
Bullies make themselves out to be superior. They’ll try to make you believe that you somehow need their approval. If bullies can make you depend on their permission, their power and control only increase.
Bullies do this by convincing you that they are the only ones who can better your situation. In other words, they want you to believe that only with their say so will you be able to make friends and enjoy positive relationships!
In that, they make you believe that you can’t find happiness and fulfillment unless they approve.
And they will tie conditions to that approval. In other words, the bullies will make you think you must submit to their every whim to get any approval.
And they will try to make you do things you don’t want to do, no matter how demeaning. However, understand that bullies don’t honor deals! Ever!
Therefore, they will never leave you alone! And they will never give you their seal of approval. You must realize that all this is only another ploy to assert domination!
7. Making Empty Promises
Bullies will make all kinds of empty promises to get you to submit to their wishes. However, bullies never keep promises.
- “If you do this, I’ll go away quietly and leave you alone.”
- “Do that for me and I’ll be your friend.”
- “If you’d only do XYZ, I’ll make things easier for you.”
Don’t you believe any of it!
You must understand that you can never appease a bully. You might for the time being. However, They will always come back for more later.
Bullies will never go away. They only make empty promises to keep you under their control. Understand that bullies have an insatiable appetite for power.
Bullies are like bottomless pits. No matter what you do to please them, they’ll only continue the torment. Therefore, you must realize that no amount of abuse is ever enough for a bully.
Remember that bullies are addicted to power. Bullying is the only way they can get that power. Therefore, abusing you is like a drug to them and they can never get enough!
Bullying and Gaslighting:
So, How Do You Stop Bullies from Bullying You?
1. Keep standing up to them. Don’t back down!
Once you begin defending yourself against bullies, expect it to get worse before it gets better. Realize that when you start standing up for yourself, you will get a ton of resistance at first.
However, you must stay consistent! Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Consistency is key here!
The more they try to take you down, the more you push back until your bullies decide that you’re too much to handle. Then, once they get the message that messing with you comes at too great a cost, they’ll leave you alone and go find another victim.
This post is all about bullying and gaslighting so that you’ll know what to expect and continue standing up to bullies until they finally leave you alone for good!
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms
2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims
3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use
4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know
5. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of
