fear

How to Overcome Unnecessary Fear: 5 Easy Ways to Eradicate It

‘Want to know how to overcome unnecessary fear? Here are several simple tricks that every victim of bullying needs to know.

how to overcome unnecessary fear

Bullies thrive on fear and if you’re a victim of bullying, the fear they instill in you controls you and controls your life. Truth be known, you’re probably wondering how to overcome unnecessary fear and free yourself from it’s grip.

In this post, you will learn how to get rid of the fear, stand up to your bullies, and take back control of your life.

Once you learn all these mind hacks, you will no longer be afraid to stand your ground, set boundaries, and live life on your terms.

This post is all about how to overcome unnecessary fear so that you can have finally liberate yourself from bullying and have more freedom and autonomy.

How to overcome unnecessary fear

Fear is the strongest of all emotions. It’s an excellent asset in a genuinely hazardous situation where there’s the threat of immediate harm. However, it can be the most dangerous and paralyzing emotion in situations that don’t warrant your being afraid.

Understand that this kind of fear is THE number one tool in the bully’s toolbox. Bullies use it as a means to manipulate you and control every aspects of your life.

Realize that the power of fear is the only power bullies hold, and they don’t use it sparingly. Moreover, bullies instinctively know that real or perceived fear will shut down your rational and cognitive thinking abilities.

As a result, they can manipulate you into doing things you don’t want to do.

Next, let’s discuss the negative effects this fear has on your life.

How does unnecessary fear impact your life?

1. It strips away your personal power.

It weakens you, making you completely powerless to stop unpleasant circumstances from happening in your life. And most of these situations are those you could otherwise control.

2. by tearing apart your ability to reason.

Fear automatically shuts down the logical part of your brain and the survival part of your mind takes over.

How to overcome unnecessary fear

3. Fear discourages you from taking action in situations that require it.

You’re too afraid to take the risk that it might not produce the desired outcome. However, what if it does? This is what you should ask yourself every time you fear acting on something.

4. It strips away your ability to make your own choices and decisions.

Instead you only make choices that benefit your bullies because you’re afraid they’ll retaliate.

5. By discouraging you from defending and protecting yourself from harm.

Again, you’re frightened of standing up for yourself because of the risk of your bullies physically beating you up or retaliating psychologically.

6. Fear forces you to put your wants and needs on the back burner and shackles you to the self-interests of bullies and abusers.

Instead of taking care of your own priorities, you allow your bullies to force you to work to further their interests. Moreover, you never get a chance to do anything to make yourself happy.

Therefore, you must find ways to overcome this unnecessary fear. Moreover, you must gather the courage to stand up to your bullies and tell them to take a hike. They may retaliate. However, let them. Anything is better than putting up with unsavory people mentally enslaving you.

How to overcome unnecessary fear

A fearful person is easier for bullies to control than a fearless one.

Bullies have long understood the power of deliberately inducing fear in their victims to control and dominate them. Moreover, they know that it reaps them rewards.

These kinds of people maintain their oppressive grip on you by threatening some kind of repercussions on you if you don’t comply with their wishes. They then brag to others that they have the power to decide whether you get to live in peace and be safe from harm.

Also, they may tell you that if you do what they want or say what they want to hear, they will leave you alone. Additionally, they also demand that you do it willingly and without getting mouthy and catching a funky attitude.

However, we all know how this usually goes. Bullies don’t keep promises. They only keep you hanging.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to understand that your bullies greatly benefit from your fear, and they won’t give those benefits up without a fight.

How do Bullies exploit your fear?

There are 5 ways bullies use fear to control you.

1. spreading rumors and gossip

Bullies have a knack for making even the most ridiculous lies sound like the truth. Moreover, they make the most insidious abuse respectable, even admired.

They’ll slander you to keep you silent and ensure that you don’t speak out about the abuse. Also, they do it to isolate you and lessen the chances of anyone supporting you.

If they can turn everyone against you, then who’s going to believe you when you finally speak out about the violence?

Bullies will use your fear to turn others against you and recruit them to become willing participants in the abuse. Therefore, if nothing else, remember this:

Even the kindest of people can become willing co-conspirators because humans behave much differently in groups, then they do on their own.

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”

Voltaire

How to overcome Unnecessary fear:

2. Bullies use Repetition

In other words, bullies will repeat their physical, psychological, or relational aggression. Moreover, they will do this over long periods of time to strengthen and solidify your fear.

They also continuously beat down your self-esteem and confidence to ensure that you don’t protect yourself or rebel against the abuse.

Understand that this is a type of coercive conditioning or brainwashing. Why? Because it’s specifically designed to break your will and get you to submit and accept more abuse.

Bullies may also repeatedly use the old bait and switch. In other words, they may make you empty promises of safety and security. Again, bullies don’t keep promises and will usually inflict pain on you anyway.

3. Gaslighting

If the bullies can make you question your own sanity, they can discredit you in the eyes of bystanders, witnesses and authority members.

Moreover, if they can cause you to doubt your own perception of the abuse, they can, therefore, cause you not to believe your own experiences.

And if your abusers can make you believe you must have done or said something to deserve the cruelty, all the better! Then you’ll surely keep quiet and do as you’re told.

4. To control everyone else

Bullies also use fear to control your peers and any bystanders. Moreover, they send the message that if anyone else dares to help you or associate with you, they too will suffer the bullies’ wrath.

Therefore, bullies use everyone else’s fear to control them too.

How to overcome unnecessary fear

How do you overcome your fear?

1. Gain knowledge of bullies and bullying.

Knowledge is power. Therefore learn everything you can on the subjects.

This means researching the psychology of bullies and bullying. In other words, learn why bullies bully and where their abuse comes from. For example, do they bully for social status or to keep from being bullied themselves?

Moreover, learn where their abuse comes from. Does it come from low self-esteem, sadism, arrogance, or a feeling of superiority?

Also, know what your bullies’ intentions and motivations are. Are they trying to get attention or admiration from others?

Finally, learn which tactics different bullies use and how it effects victims.

Additionally, you must also gain knowledge of human nature and tactics of warfare. You must also know the ways people attain power, psychology, and dark psychology.

Reading about the Dark Triad- Narcissism, Psychopathy, and Machiavellianism wouldn’t be a bad idea.

2. Stop worrying about any outcomes.

Once you detach yourself from the outcome of a situation, you automatically detach yourself from fear.

3. be not concerned with what others think.

In other words, stop worrying about what people think. Once you release yourself from others opinions, you release yourself from fear.

4. become angry.

Anger is one hell of a motivator. This means finally getting fed up and you’ll know when you’re fed up. Moreover, once you get mad because you’re sick of your bullies jerking you around, fear immediately becomes a non-issue.

To put it plainly, anger is the one emotion that drives away fear. Why? Because once you become angry, you no longer care. Damn the consequences! You’re finally ready to do something about this!

Only then will you gather the courage to make a stand and change your life for the better.

5. how to overcome unnecessary fear: Prepare yourself to fight! And fight like hell.

Whether you must do it physically or employ psychological warfare, you must fight for your right to be left alone. In that, you fight for your safety, your self-esteem, your peace, your happiness, and, in extreme cases of bullying, your very existence.

this post is all about how to overcome unnecessary fear so that you can take your life back and start doing you!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

4. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

the psychological effects of gaslighting

Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

‘Want to know the psychological effects of gaslighting so that you can better protect yourself against it? Here are the proven impacts gaslighters inflict that you must know about.

psychological effects of gaslighting

The psychological effects of gaslighting are many and massive. When victims of bullying and abuse endure gaslighting, the abuser and their flying monkeys only victimize them twice.

In this post, you will learn all the psychological effects of gaslighting on victims so that you’ll have more motivation to protect yourself against it.

After learning about all these ramifications, you will be better able to defend yourself against the evil deeds of gaslighters. Moreover, you will be about to call it out and explain what you’re dealing with when you talk about it.

This post is all about the psychological effects of gaslighting so that you will better be able to explain to others what it does to victims.

Psychological effects of gaslighting

Before we get to the list, let’s touch on the goal of gaslighting and gaslighting tactics. Also, let’s preview how bullying and gaslighting impact your psyche.

Gaslighting is about wresting power and control over your mind. Bullies do this by undermining your reality. They minimize your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Moreover, they deflect and shift blame to you. Also, they’re notorious for feigning concern over your (mental) well being.

Understand that this is how they weaponize compassion and goodwill.

Gaslighters are experts at twisting the truth and re-framing conversations. Additionally, they slyly use your reactions to their abuse against you.

Why? To discredit you by making you look as if you have a mental imbalance. You should never tolerate this kind of behavior.

When people inflict bullying and gaslighting on you, they objectify you. In other words, they use you as an inanimate object, a tool for gratification and a rush of power.

It is as if you only exist for other people’s purposes and not you own. Slowly, over time, it does damage to your mental health and if you’re not careful, you may never grow into a fully mature human being.

Consequently, you may begin to see yourself as the projected object the bullies deem you to be. When bullies notoriously gaslight you, they deliberately try to distort your reality.

Why? Because they themselves deny reality. Bullies and abusers deny facts, uncontested truths, and the concreteness of evidence.

Therefore, they try to make reality into an imaginary illusion when, in fact, reality is the opposite.

So, what happens when a bullies try to undermine your perception of reality?

They brainwash you and force you to see things from their point of view. I’ve met many kinds of people in my life. This includes gaslighters- enough of them to know their tactics and recognize them like the back of my hand.

11 Psychological effects of gaslighting

Here is a list of the ways gaslighting impacts victims.

1. Self-doubt

Gaslighting causes you to doubt yourself. Therefore, you doubt what you see, hear, feel and believe.

What gaslighters are best at is trying to make you doubt your sanity or your memory when you call out their bad behavior and evil deeds. Or, when you report them for bullying.

For example, when you tell them to stop bullying you or you report them, your bullies may tell you that “you took it wrong and that they were only trying to help you.” Moreover, they can accuse you of being “mentally imbalanced” or “having a bad memory.”

Also, they may say that you didn’t hear them correctly.

Here’s another example. Your bullies call you an ugly name and you counter them saying, “I’m not a (ugly name). However, they only come back with, “Well, if the shoe fits, wear it!”

Although you know the shoe doesn’t fit, understand that your bullies will do everything in their power to try and shoehorn it.

Therefore, see these derogatory names and remarks for what they’re designed to do. And that is to get you to doubt yourself.

Don’t allow gaslighters to do this to you. Again, see through the lies. You must use their lies to solidify your perception of reality instead of distort it. Instead of allowing them to weaken you, let them only increase your strength and resilience.

In other words, double down!

These are only a few examples. Here are many other gaslighting examples to be aware of, along with a list of counter-statements you can use to shut down gaslighting.

2. Psychological effects of gaslighting: You lose confidence in yourself.

Bullies will fool you into doubting your own goodness and importance.

Gaslighters will also instill doubt in your mind about the people who truly love you. They’ll tell you that your friends and family don’t even love you. Moreover, they’ll claim that the reason they don’t love you is because you’re unlovable.

Moreover, they’ll trick you into doubting your abilities. They do this by making hurtful statements such as, “You can’t do anything right.” Moreover, they may call you cruel names such as, “st*pid,” when you accidentally spill a glass of milk.

Understand that everyone makes mistakes and has accidents. Therefore, never let them break down your confidence in yourself.

Hold on to your confidence. Because without it, you might as well have nothing.

3. You adopt a sense of insecurity.

Enduring gaslighting can make you insecure. If you put up with it long enough, you’ll develop social anxiety and feel nervous around people.

As a result, this kills your social opportunities.

Therefore, keep your outgoing personality no matter how bullies may treat you. They just might be jealous of your friendly nature.

4. Psychological effects of gaslighting: Hyper vigilance

Hyper vigilance is an awareness of potential threats way beyond that which is normal. In other words, when a person is hyper vigilant, they’re overly alert. However, this is a trauma response and it’s not your fault if you suffer from it.

Many victims of bullying and abuse suffer from hyper vigilance after bullies and abusers have traumatized them for so long. The same thing happens when you endure gaslighting for any length of time.

This can only cause exhaustion and other physical ailments.

Again, it’s not your fault. Therefore, don’t blame yourself. Know that there are resources and people you can turn to for help. So, please. Check into those.

5. Distrust in yourself and others.

Victims of gaslighting neither trust themselves to make the right decisions nor do they trust others not to harm them. Therefore, they live a life of constantly looking out for potential threats.

This is understandable. After bullies and abusers have bullied and gaslighted you for so long, you tend to lose trust in everyone, including yourself.

How you begin trusting yourself again is to stop worrying what other people think, face the fear, and begin making your own decisions. Just do it.

Also, how you learn to trust others is to be selective in who you place your trust in. Watch people and learn what threatening body language looks like. Moreover, learn the body language of deception and negativity.

Once you learn all these things, you will be able to better judge who to trust and who not to.

6. Psychological effects of gaslighting: They begin having difficulty with decision making.

This goes back to number five. You have difficulty making decisions because you don’t trust yourself to make the right decisions.

Moreover, you’re afraid to make decisions because you’re always wondering what people will think. You were bullied so badly that people ridiculed everything you did. And when you defended yourself, they gaslighted you for it.

I feel your pain. But, stop that! No one has to live your life but you. Therefore, only you can possibly know what’s best for you. For your own sake, quit letting others dictate your choices because they could care less about what’s for your good.

Yes, I know it’s scary when others have bullied and beaten you down for years. However, you cannot continue to live this way because it’s a miserable existence and life’s too short.

You don’t have to allow this any longer. Take back your autonomy and freedom and just do it! Begin making your own decisions today. And screw them if they don’t like it. You deserve to finally live your life on your terms.

Screw it, just do it!

7. They withdraw from others.

You withdraw from others because you’re afraid that they’ll only bully you. In other words, you’re afraid of history repeating itself. However, what if it doesn’t?

Again, although understandable, the only thing this will do is socially hold you back. Put simpler, it will have a negative impact on your existing relationships and keep you from starting new ones.

Therefore, don’t let the bullies of your past or present hold you back from relationships and friendships that could fulfill you and uplift you.

You deserve to have a social life and you deserve to draw in people who love you and celebrate you. So, put yourself out there and be your best self.

8. Psychological effects of gaslighting: Isolation

Because it seems everyone has bullied and gaslighted you, you feel that the only way for you to be safe is to isolate yourself. Therefore, you must know that this will only make things worse for you.

Why? Because you stand to lose touch with friends and family who could be there to help you. Moreover, you cut yourself off from the many opportunities that come with socializing and keeping contact with friends and family and making new ones.

In short, you become a shut in. Is this how you’d rather live your life?

Know that you deserve to have a life that’s rich and rewarding with people who love and uplift you. You deserve it. You may have been told otherwise but you were lied to. I repeat! You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and want best for you.

Therefore, never isolate yourself. Instead, get out there and take risks. Meet people. Just watch them and be choosy with who you allow in.

9. False guilt

After bullies and gaslighters have abused you for so long, it’s too easy to self-loathe and feel guilty for things you haven’t done. This only further erodes your self-esteem and peace of mind.

Moreover, if you allow others to unjustly heap false guilt over your head, what do you think they will do next?

Therefore, understand that you aren’t responsible for anyone else’s bad behavior but your own.

In other words, you cannot control the actions of another person. The only behaviors you can control are yours. So, again, never accept accountability for your bullies’ evil ways.

Know that you have the power to refuse to carry any burden that isn’t yours to carry.

10. Psychological effects of gaslighting: Anxiety

It’s no secret that bullying and gaslighting can cause anxiety in victims and survivors. Anxiety is a booger bear because it causes you to worry constantly about something bad that has happened before, occurring again in the future.

In other words, thoughts of negative possibilities begin to occupy your mind all the time. It causes nervousness and uneasiness and renders you unable to relax.

This is no way to live. You deserve better. Therefore, you can talk to a therapist,  your best friend or trusted family member. Either way, talk to someone you trust.

However, don’t let the anxiety go on for so long that it turns into a disorder.

11. Physical ailments, such as stomach issues and headaches

Psychological trauma has ways of causing illness in the body as well. This is why you must take steps to heal your mind from the effects of gaslighting and bullying.

Moreover, make sure you eat right, exercise and get plenty of rest. Take care of your body like you would your possessions. Because you health is your wealth.

This post is all about the psychological effects of gaslighting, how it impacts you, and how you can overcome it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

3. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

4. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

Do you want to know all the gaslighting examples so that you can properly protect yourself from narcissistic bullies and abusers? These are the most common manipulation tactics that gaslighters use.

gaslighting examples
Gaslighting can leave you dazed and confused, not to mention powerless. If you’re a target of bullying like I was, you’re probably doing all the research you can on how to spot it when it happens. As someone who has been on the receiving end, I’m giving you the most common tactics you need to look out for.

You’re going to learn the tactics gaslighters use, from denial to projection to trivializing.

Once you learn these gaslighting examples, you are going to be prepared for anything bullies throw at you. You will have a good comeback ready and be an expert at shutting down any gaslighter who crosses your path.

This post is all about the gaslighting examples that every decent human being should know.

Gaslighting Examples

Before we go any further, you must first know what gaslighting is, why people gaslight, and the effects it has on victims.

So, what is gaslighting?

According to Merriam-Webster dictionary, gaslighting is “psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, uncertainty of one’s emotional or mental stability, and a dependency on the perpetrator” ( https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/gaslighting )

The term “gaslighting” comes from the 1940s movie, “Gaslight,” in which a husband slyly tries to convince his wife that she’s going insane.

However, gaslighting doesn’t only happen in marriages and love relationships like in the movie. It occurs everywhere, in families, friendships, at school, work, and in the community. There is also political gaslighting, where dictators and crooked politicians gaslight the people in their land.

Gaslighting is all around us.

Why do people gaslight?

They do it to avoid accountability and to maintain control of their victims. People also gaslight to get their way and have what they want.

What effects does gaslighting have on victims?

Long-term victims of gaslighting often suffer from a lack of confidence and low self-esteem. Also, they may have trust issues. Moreover, they may be overly self-conscious and struggle with intense self-doubt. Victims of gaslighting tend to question themselves and their own abilities and worth.

Here are 11 Common Gaslighting Examples

1. Denying any wrongdoing

For example, the bully/abuser may say something out of the way to you. Then, when you call them out for it, they emphatically deny it.

“I didn’t say that!”

And they’ll say this when you know doggone well they did say it. To this gaslighting statement, your response should be, “No. You did ‘say that’ because I heard you say it.”

Understand that the reason your bully or abuser uses denial of something they said or did is to make you question your memory.

But don’t question it! Know that you aren’t imagining things and that you aren’t only hearing things in your head. You know what you heard.

2. Telling Boldface lies

Gaslighters tell boldface lies. Moreover, they tell such obvious lies that you’re left wondering where they get the nerve and how they can do it with a straight face.

But understand that these types of people do this deliberately, and there’s a reason why they do it. It’s to cause you to doubt your own perception of the truth.

In fact, people with narcissistic personality disorder and other toxic types are masters at getting people to question their own understanding of what is true. Also, bullies and abusers all have NPD and toxic tendencies.

Therefore, never question your understanding of the truth and have nothing more to do with anyone who pulls this little number. The further you distance yourself from these creeps, the better off you’ll be!

3. Gaslighting examples also include projecting

Projecting or projection is another mechanism gaslighters like to use. So, what is projection?

When bullies project, they accuse their victims of the same evil deeds that they, themselves, are guilty of. Hence, they project their own behavior onto their target victims.

Do not allow them to do this. Keep standing in your truth and calling out the gaslighter’s behavior.

Tell them that they’re only projecting and that it doesn’t work with you.
This may or may not change the gaslighter’s behavior. In fact, the evil person will more than likely double down on it, especially if they have narcissistic personality disorder.

However, if you continue holding your ground, they’re least likely to gaslight you a second time, and others around you will know better than to try it with you as well. In other words, you’ll get more respect in the future.

4. Questioning your memory

Gaslighters love to question your memory because they know that this technique throws most people off-balance. The goal behind this tactic is to cause you to doubt yourself.

Therefore, it causes those around you to doubt you as well because if you have no confidence in your own memory, it’s likely that others won’t either.

So, don’t give them that opportunity. You know what you heard or saw.

Your eyes and ears are not playing tricks on you. Don’t play into the person’s hands. And don’t you doubt yourself for a minute.

5. distracting

Bullies are good at this but only with those who are easy to distract. Therefore, keep your focus on their bad behavior and call it out as it is.

Common ways a gaslighter tries to distract you and others from their wrongdoing is to bring up your past or a mistake you’ve made in the past. Tell them point blank that it has nothing to do with what they just did (or said) and that they’re clearly using a distraction method.

Yes, call out their distracting too and call it out by name. Again, this may not change their behavior and may even make the person want to retaliate.

However, their retaliation will only give them away. So, be sure to make that known as well.

6. Trivializing your reality Is also one of the many gaslighting examples.

Gaslighters are notorious for trivializing their victim’s reality. They may accuse you of “making a mountain out of a molehill.” But call it out by name.

You can always come back with, “Oh, no, no, no! Don’t even try to trivialize it because you’d respond the same way if it were done to you.”

If they keep on, just tell them, “I don’t want to hear another word from you.” Then walk away. You must let this person know that you’re not one they can pull this trick on.

7. Blame-shifting

Ahhh, shifting blame! A classic gaslighting move! Don’t allow them to blame you for their ugly behavior.

Simply tell the person that you aren’t responsible for their actions or their words and that they can never make you accountable for it.

This bears repeating, call it by name. Tell this idiot that blame-shifting won’t work with you and that you’re onto them.

And do it calmly. I guarantee they’ll only go find an easier target because gaslighters hate being challenged.

8. Discrediting

Bullies discredit you by spreading nasty rumors and lies. Your best recourse is to allow them to do it while proving them wrong through your calm demeanor and good behavior.

Remember that the one who talks the loudest is the least credible.

Anyone who points a finger at you has three pointed back at them. Also, when someone tries to defame you, they often repeat the same hogwash over and over again.

Therefore, let them talk themselves into trouble. Then, watch their surprise when people get sick of hearing their BS and get bored with them.

The trick here is to force this person to out themselves without realizing they’re doing it.

In other words, don’t try to defend yourself against the rumors and don’t try explaining yourself. You owe no one any explanations here. Just let them talk.

9. Subtle insults Are Classic Gaslighting Examples

Bullies love to throw zingers at you because they’re too cowardly to bluntly come out and say it directly. And they make sure other people are around to hear it.

They employ these subtle insults in hopes that it will confuse you and fly right over your head while, at the same time, making you look like a clueless dolt to others.

Therefore, you must notice this behavior immediately and call it out. For example, if the bully is pulling this crap because you call them out on something earlier, you can always say this:

“Wow! You’re so angry, aren’t you. You’re mad because I called you out for being a jerk last week. Don’t lie. I know that’s why you’re trying to sling insults.

And do it in front of an audience.

Chances are good that you’ll embarrass the person so bad that they might leave you alone and go find an easier target to toy with.

10. Rewriting history

Gaslighting bullies rewrite history to feel better about themselves when you call them out on something they’ve done in the past. Moreover, they put their own spin on reality to make themselves look better to other people.

They may do this by saying that the reason for their bad behavior is because they were reacting to something that you did to them in the past.

Again, don’t buy this line of garbage. But you don’t have to explain anything either.

Just respond by telling the bully that they’re full of it and walk away. Believe me. Other people will wise up to them sooner or later.

11. Love-bombing

This tactic is a biggie! Gaslighting bullies will, all of a sudden, out of the blue, start acting really nice to you. However, when they do this, now’s the time to watch out.

Why? Because these bullies are nice to you to trick you into letting down your defenses. Moreover, they want to break your defenses so that they can either get something from you or set you up for something bad.

Therefore, it’s imperative that you keep your guard up when these people pour on the niceties. Don’t trust them. Instead, avoid them like the plague.

You don’t need to explain why. Just ignore and avoid them.

They’ll get the hint eventually and back off. Or, they’ll show you their true colors when they get frustrated that you aren’t giving into them.

Either way, you win because they either go away or they expose themselves.

This post was all about gaslighting examples to help you better spot gaslighting tactics and protect yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

4. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

2 More Reasons Your Bullies Label You “Mentally Imbalanced” or “Crazy” and Why It Works

Unfortunately, the label of mental instability is the easiest and most effective label to stick to a person. Sadly, a label like this tends to have loads of staying power because it’s the hardest to disprove- especially when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

Also, there’s a good chance that any target of bullying will be an emotional wreck because of the chronic abuse they suffer. So, there’s another reason the crazy label would be a clever label to pin to them.

When bullies label you as crazy, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. Allow me to explain further:

Remember that bullies are big cowards and if they really and truly thought you were crazy, they wouldn’t mess with you at all. In, fact, they wouldn’t come near you. Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear.

They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you because they know that if a person is, in fact, crazy, that person could rip their heads off and poop down their necks. That person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich.

If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually and utterly batshit crazy, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them and do their due diligence to keep from setting that person off!

So, if your bullies don’t really think you’re crazy, why then do they label you as such?

1. To discredit you. Your bullies aren’t stupid. They know that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap and either report them or stand up to them. And if everyone thinks you’re crazy, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

2. To make you afraid to speak out or stand up to them. Again, just in case you begin standing your ground or speaking out about the abuse, bullies employ this tactic to keep you quiet and, in that, clean their reputations spotless. If you know that people think you’re crazy, chances are good that you’re going to be too afraid to open your mouth about it because you know that people probably won’t believe you. They will only say that, because of your “mental instability,” you’re probably just being paranoid.

You’ll also be too afraid to fight back because if you do, you know that the bullies will only convincingly reverse roles and play victim. Then, others will only assume that you went postal and either hurt those poor, innocent bullies, or you just threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re just “crazy.”

Sure. Mental instability is one of the hardest to prove. It’s true that your bullies can never prove you’re crazy, but there’s also no way that you can prove for certain that you aren’t. And it’s why this label is just too easy to pen on someone and make stick. In fact, it shouldn’t be this easy and be so successful. But it is.

Do you see how this works?

So, no. Your bullies don’t think you’re crazy, they think you’re weak. They only push the crazy label because weakness or helplessness in a person does have a certain allure and appeal and others may feel compelled to come to that person’s aid. Helplessness sparks a natural tendency in people to want to take care of the person who is helpless, but people are less likely to help the person who is deemed crazy. Bullies instinctively know this. So, they label the target crazy to strip him/her of that allure and appeal.

In labeling you crazy and making it stick, bullies are better able to avoid being held accountable and if they can successfully dodge responsibility for their abuse of another human being, then they get to continue hurting and abusing that person freely and with impunity.

Understand that there’s a method behind the label of mental instability, crazy, unhinged, or whatever name you prefer. If you’re aware of the motives behind that label, the better you’ll be able to catch it and counter your bullies with it.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

If They Can’t Manipulate You, They’ll Attack Your Mental Health

Businessman with wind up key on his back sitting on chair and using laptop computer on city background. Manipulation concept

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! My classmates were no different. Bullies will always come back at you with the “crazy” or “mentally imbalanced” label to discredit you and control how others see you when they can no longer control you and can’t find anything else to pin on you.

It only goes to show that they see you as a threat and they’re both desperate and afraid. When you refuse to be manipulated, it sends several messages to your bullies- messages that threaten their sense of superiority, positions, and their power.

  1. It tells them that you see through their smokescreens.
  2. It tells them that you’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  3. It tells them the opposite of what they think of you- that you’re strong and intelligent, not weak and dumb.
  4. It puts them in their place.
  5. It tells them that they can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  6. It tells them that you don’t give a crap about what they say or think about you.
  7. It tells them you could care less about impressing them.
  8. It tells them they don’t matter to you and that you don’t value their insults or do you accept their definitions of you.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance and thus, feel entitled. They despise being told no and they loathe anyone who will not be controlled. And if they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships, and the way others perceive you.

Always remember that.

Bullies Who Use Doublespeak

Bullies are slick with their insults. Many times, they may disguise their vitriol and contempt with the use of doublespeak.

The term “doublespeak” comes from George Orwell’s book “1984” and a person uses it when he uses euphemisms and words that sound more palatable to the ears. Bullies use doublespeak to sound concerned rather than hateful to keep from turning other people off.

For example:

A bully is degrading and defaming their target. But rather than being blunt and saying,

“I can’t stand him, he’s batshit crazy and he belongs in the nuthouse!” the bully will instead say,

“I’m very concerned about him. I think he has a mental imbalance somewhere that hasn’t been addressed. I hope he gets the help he needs.”

The first version would make the bully sound like the person she truly is- a nasty old shrew! The second version sounds so much better and makes the bully look like a good person who’s genuinely concerned for the target.

Here’s another example:

A bully is putting her neighbor down. But rather than say,

“I’d like to catch her in the street and beat the living crap out of her and leave her to die!” which would make the bully sound like a vindictive and hateful bitch, she says,

“If she doesn’t change her attitude, I’m afraid someone’s going to hurt her really bad!”

Again, the second version sounds so much better because it shows concern rather than hatred for the target and it also makes the target look like she must be bringing the bad treatment on herself.

It’s not what you say. It’s how you say it and the nonverbal communication you use with it that makes all the difference. It’s too easy to bully someone without looking like a bully!

Believe it or not, if you’re a target, you know when you’re being bullied no matter how covert your bullies may be. The trick is to call it out in the early stages before the sneaky attacks become a habit or a set pattern.

Never let anyone grow too comfortable with abusing you. Once they do, the abuse will escalate until it  gets so out of control that people won’t even try to hide it! And that’s when you will be in grave danger!

Again! Call it out in the early stages. It’s the only way you’ll be able to put a stop to it!

The One Thing That Gets Targets of Bullying in The Most Trouble

Overreacting. Any overreactions to the taunts, insults, and attacks of bullies only bring more problems targets would otherwise avoid if they stayed calm. Unfortunately, I learned this lesson through time-consuming trial and error, and it could’ve gotten me either maimed or killed. But you don’t have to.

Overreacting can have a boomerang effect because when you get overly excited, the chances are that the bullies will too- especially bullies who are overly aggressive. Overdoing the response could cause the altercation to escalate into something you may not be able to walk away from. Also, the bullies could use your overreaction against you.

The target’s overreaction is how bullies feign victimhood and make the victim look like the aggressor. It’s how bullies bait their victims. So why not use a different strategy?

Chess board and text “Strategic plan” Business planning concept

The smart thing to do is to fake a surrender or submission. Make it look as if you’re giving in to your bullies’ demands. I realize this may feel a bit cowardly to you, but you aren’t caving in, you’re only making your bullies think you are. So, remain calm and make them believe they have the upper hand. Doing so will stabilize the bully’s temper.

But wait! There’s another benefit! Your bullies more than likely expect or even want you to react with a high degree of aggression. But you don’t, and it will throw them off guard. It will surprise, even shock your bullies, because you remained calm and agreed with them. The surprise is a powerful weapon if you know how to use it.

Use your fake surrender as part of a bigger plan once you fool them into thinking you care. On the inside, you continue to stand your ground, but on the outside, you give in to their desires. Doing so can give you time to quietly plan a countermeasure that will bring the bullies down. Smarts will always trump aggression every time!

However, understand that this takes a truckload of self-discipline and self-control. And, as mentioned earlier, you may feel like a big old wimp when you use this technique. Just remember this: You’re not giving the bullies what they want. You only look like you are. You’re only playing dead to save your life!

Here’s a third benefit. By faking your submission, you also allow yourself time to study your bullies and carefully plot any future moves. And when the bullies are satisfied and lay off you, you’ll finally have room to make your countermove.

So, go ahead—fake your submission. Get close to your bullies and learn their ways. Give them no reason to react, nothing to prepare for, and no cause for resistance. Then when the time is right, BAM!

They won’t know what hit them.

Any time you make it look as if you submit to your bullies, you’re only mocking them. It’s silent disdain – like expelling a silent fart in their direction, only they don’t know they’ve been farted on.

You turn their own power against them and make them look like idiots. But they can’t retaliate because you did what they told you to do. Right?

With knowledge comes empowerment!

8 Emotions That Targets of Bullying Feel

cry tears

Targets of bullying endure a hell that no one can comprehend unless they themselves have experienced bullying. It’s the same with the range of resulting emotions they feel. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine the intense stress and the wide array of powerful emotions that come with it.

1.Grief- Once you become an object of bullying or mobbing, life as you know it changes. You mourn for the way your life used to be and long to get your former life back. You also grieve the loss of your respect, dignity, reputation, good standing, and your identity. You mourn the loss of your friends and in some cases, your spouse and family.

2, Bewilderment- You don’t understand why this is happening to you- why you’re being bullied and why people you love and thought loved you have turned against you. You’re also at a loss as to what you did to bring about such hatred. In your heart, you know that you’re a great person and that you never intentionally slighted nor hurt anyone. So, what gives?

3. Confusion- You’re at a loss as to which way to turn and who to turn to. And you don’t know what to do to remedy the situation because each time you try, only makes the bullying worse. You feel stuck!

4. Terror – Anytime you’re targeted, the fear can be paralyzing. You’re afraid to speak but afraid not to speak. You’re afraid of the people around you. You’re afraid to make any moves or decisions because you know that anything you do will be scrutinized and made to look bad, crazy, or evil. You’re afraid to come to school or work because you know they’re all out to get you and you know that if you show, they’ll only blindside you with another attack.

4. Sadness- You cry in your car to and from your school or workplace. You cry in your pillow at night when you go to bed. It seems that no one will give you a chance and you’re isolated and alone. When you try to make new friends, the bullies always seem to intervene and turn the new people against you too. The type of sadness a target feels is the kind that is deep, dark, and overwhelming.

6. Depression- This comes with being rendered powerless. It seems that there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. You have the feeling of being bound and gagged. You feel trapped like a rat and there’s nowhere to go where the bullies and participants won’t find you. And you feel that there’s no hope that things will ever get better.

7. Ohhhh, the rage! This is, by far, THE most powerful emotion targets can have. With each physical or psychological attack, the fury grows until you’d give anything just to have the power to rip their heads off and shoved them up their you-know-whats. Oh, yes! Rage does that to you and gives you such evil thoughts!

I remember the rage I felt in middle and high school when I was a target of bullying and it grew to a level until, at one point, I felt homicidal! I loathed them so intensely that I just wanted all of them to drop dead.

I used my brain. I didn’t allow myself to snap and take any lives. I thought about my future and how doing something horribly violent would ruin it, I then decided that none of my classmates were worth ruining my future and causing my family heartache over and eventually, a door opened for me and I was able to transfer to a new school where things got better.

8. 8Suicidal thoughts. It’s not that you want to die. You just want the torment to stop and when it gets to a certain level, death seems to be the only escape for it. These thoughts happen when you feel you’ve exhausted every possible option to make things better. But don’t give up. Because as long as you’re alive, there’s always a good chance that things will change for the better and you can come out victorious on the other side of it.

 I want you to know that if you’re a target of bullying, things may seem hopeless, but they aren’t. Things change for the better all the time and when you least expect them to.