Did you know that there are times when you don’t have to explain yourself? Do you want to know the 5 reasons you shouldn’t and under which circumstances?
A sad part of people targeting you for bullying is that they will force you to take responsibility for things you can’t control, like their horrid behavior. Also, chances are good that you’re doing all the research on how to gather the courage to refuse to answer to your bullies.
You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone. Sure, people have told you this time and time again. But how do you gather the courage to refuse? You learn, most likely, the hard way, that your bullies are only trying to strip you of your personal power.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn the reasons why you don’t have to explain yourself to your bullies.
After you learn not to answer to these people, you will finally be your own hero. Also, you will take back your personal power and live in peace.
This post is all about the steps and mindsets to get to a place to where you don’t have to explain yourself to bullies and abusers. These are things that every target of bullying should learn.
You Don’t have to Explain Yourself
Why? Because bullies don’t care what your reasons are. There are reasons bullies accuse and attack you. Also, there are reasons why you don’t owe them any explanations.
1. Bullies project on you. They accuse you of the same things they are guilty of.
The reason they do this is to make you look like the guilty man. And when you try to explain yourself to them and swear up and down that you didn’t do anything wrong, your bullies will twist it to make it look as if you’re the one trying to cover your own behind.
For example, when you stand up for yourself, they will accuse you of being rude and disrespectful. However, realize that your bullies will only do this to gaslight you and make you feel guilty for defending yourself.
Don’t fall for it. Simply call out their gaslighting and tell them to step off. Or, you could just put your hand up and walk away.
However, in most cases, your best recourse is to not try so hard to convince anyone of anything. Let people believe what they want, then let that help you decide who you should cut out of your life for good.
For the love of Pete! If the people who take your bullies word over yours are those you thought were your friends, show those people the door. Fast!
Look at it this way. These people aren’t really your friends and they don’t deserve the privilege of your presence, let alone your friendship! Stop keeping company with people who aren’t worth your time.
Understand that when you rid yourself of fake friends, you automatically make room for true friends to come into your life. And believe me, they will. You might have to wait a while but better people will show up in your life.
2. Another Reason Why You don’t have to explain yourself: Some people Will Try to Bait you
Moreover, the reason they bait you into explaining yourself is the psychological payoff they get from it. These psychological payoffs are satisfaction, gratification, and a massive rush of power.
To break it down, while you’re standing there wasting your breath, trying to convince your bullies that you aren’t guilty of whatever they’re accusing you of, they’re mentally smirking and patting themselves (and each other) on the back.
They’re proud of themselves over how easily they’ve gotten you to react. Also, they’re getting a high on how easily they can scare you, make you nervous, and get you all up in arms.
Therefore, realize that some things don’t need an explanation and some people don’t deserve one.
3. Explanations are usually a waste of time and energy
Why? For three reasons:
1. No matter what you say, how calm you are when you say it, how convincing you may sound, or how much evidence you may have to support you, bullies will never believe you anyway.
2. Understand that most people only believe whatever feels right, useful, and convenient for them.
3. They aren’t interested in evidence or facts. Facts may only deter them for the time being, but believe me when I tell you. Your bullies will only get angrier at you for having the gall to prove them wrong.
Then, they’ll regroup, reorganize, then come back at you with a whole new accusation and demand yet another explanation later.
Sometimes it’s just better to let them all know up front that you don’t owe them any explanations. Then, end the confrontation by telling them all to piss off before turning your back on them and walking away.
4. If nothing else, know this! Your bullies and abusers already know you’re innocent of their accusations.
In other words, all the mind games they play with you are deliberate!
Understand that anytime bullies accuse you of wrongdoing that you neither committed nor know anything about, they’re doing it to make a big show. Have you noticed that toxic people usually loudly accuse you of something in front of an audience?
Again, these people already know you’re innocent. They’re only doing it for show and to achieve nefarious ends.
They are, more than likely, fully aware that you had nothing to do with the transgression they accuse you of. So, you must realize that it’s only a trap to get you to react.
And why would they stop? You’ve probably been giving them that rush of power all along. And your bullies are addicted to it.
Understand that the power rush always wears off quickly. Therefore, your bullies will only crave another rush soon and come back for more. Power is something bullies can’t get enough of.
5. even if you produce evidence to prove your point, you will have to work to gather that evidence.
Do you really want to work that hard all your life? Here’s another hard fact about bullies:
They get their thrills just knowing they have you jumping through hoops to prove yourself. Therefore, stop trying so hard to prove yourself to people who don’t (or shouldn’t) matter.
Ask yourself these questions:
1. “Who are these morons?
2. “Who are they that I should have to explain anything?”
3. “Since when do I have to explain anything to people who have no bearing on my life. They don’t pay my bills, they don’t sign my paychecks, and they aren’t my spouse or my parents. These people have no say over any part of my life.
4. Are they even up to my level?
5. Do they bring anything positive and worthwhile to my life?
Once you ask these questions, you will know the answers. Moreover, you’ll realize that you don’t owe these people a damn thing!
I understand that bullies can be intimidating and threatening. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death.
It’s difficult not to began rattling off in nervousness, when you just want them to go away and leave you in peace. But trust me, they won’t! Remember, bullies and abusers always come back for more!
This bears repeating. It won’t make things better. If anything, the harassment will only get worse because your reaction will only make you an even bigger and easier target.
Here’s what Will Happen Once You Realize what Your Bullies are Doing
Once you realize what your bullies are doing and where it all comes from, you will began to get bored with them. Also, you will blow the bullies off with a “whatever,” and walk away because their mind games will no longer affect you.
Therefore, you’ll feel much better. And the icing on the cake will be that you’ll take the wind out of the bullies’ sails. Moreover, you won’t be any fun to them anymore.
The day will then come when your bullies will finally leave you alone and find some one else to toy around with.
This is why you must do whatever is necessary to take back your personal power and your life. Stop thinking you have to explain yourself to people who could care less anyway. Since when do you owe thing a damn thing?
Know that you deserve so much better. Command the respect you deserve. Also command better treatment. And if that means you walk away and sever ties with toxic people, then, so be it.
Therefore, know that you can do better than them.
This post is a reminder that you don’t have to explain yourself to bullies and abusers. Its purpose was to help you lift yourself out of victimhood and reclaim your power.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps
2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps
3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground
