how to stop taking shit from people at school

How to Stop Taking Shit from People: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

Want to know how to stop taking shit from people? Here are all the things you need to know to empower yourself.

how to stop taking shit from people

When people bully you for long enough, there comes a time when you get sick of people’s crap.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to stop taking shit from people and reclaim your power.

Once you learn these life-changing details, you will be a force to be reckoned with when the next bully tries to toy with you.

This post will teach you how to stop taking shit from people so that you won’t be afraid to stand up to bullies and take back your power and your life.

How to Stop Taking Shit from People

When your give-a-damn bursts, you will know it!

If you are a target of bullying, there are times when you get fed up with people’s crap. Then…BOOM! You snap on some creep who pushed you over your limit.

Believe me, I understand. If this has happened with you, I cannot fault you for it. I empathize with you wholeheartedly.

It’s not that you want to fight because you don’t. You intensely hate fighting. However, if you’re a 5’4”, 120 lb. teenage girl with a target on her back, what do you do? Stand there and let them jump you?

Like most targets, I too hated to fight, but there were times I didn’t have a choice. It was either fight or be beaten within an inch of my life.

Not only would the girls try to jump me, but the guys would too. And most of those redneck brutes had no qualms or reservations about beating up on a female, even one who was little.

Some of the bullies at Oakley High threatened me with a knife or a box-cutter, and it’s a wonder I got out of there alive.

But that’s what bullying does to people if they don’t have the proper psychological tools, confidence, or know-how to deal with it. It makes them feel powerless. Moreover, it makes them desperate and puts them in survival mode!

How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Bullying throws you into constant survival mode.

In other words, it awakens your primal instincts. It rewires your brain in preparation for a hostile environment.

When you are a victim of bullying, you must live in constant vigilance and adrenaline. You must always be on high alert.

In other words, you must grow eyes in the back of your head and be prepared for danger every time you turn a corner. But it’s not normal to live that way all the time.

It gets both frustrating and exhausting after so long. And you will grow tired of it. You will become angry and bitter if you aren’t careful.

 After taking all you can take, you will show your booty to people. And you won’t just let off a little stream, you’ll blow a gasket!

The rage and bitterness only builds until it explodes.

Moreover, the longer you are bullied, the more it builds- the sense of injustice, the sadness, the rage. It all piles up.

We are all human, and no one can hold that crap inside forever. It doesn’t matter how resilient you are. It’s humanly impossible. You’re like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken up until it finally spews.

Like a dormant volcano that finally awakens, you erupt when that last creep sticks as much as a toe over your boundaries. Some people, you scare half to death, and they avoid you like the plague afterwards.

Others, you piss off even more and make them twice as determined to get you. A few see your tirade as personal entertainment. I did that a few times back when I was being bullied and abused at school.

There will be times when you yell, curse the bullies out, throw stuff, and slam doors. You will tell people to get the eff away from you and not to come back around.

Bullying can cause you to show the worst side of yourself. And when you do, the people who are there to see it won’t forget it.

How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Personal Experience

I remember grabbing one girl by the hair and beating the living snot out of her in the library. This happened after she’d spent the last month getting in my face and taunting during the last class of the day.

Another bully received the business end of a fist after attempting to shove me down a flight of stairs. I remember running back up the stairs, whacking her upside the head with a fist, a second time with my purse, then a textbook.

The next thing I remember is dragging her down the stairs. She seemed to hit and bounce off every step going down.

Then, once I got her to the bottom, I beat and kicked her until a teacher and three other students pried me off her. These were only two of the many incidents that occurred during those years.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not something I’m proud of. Each time, I remember feeling terrible about it after it was over, and everything had cooled off.

Everyone has their breaking point.

No decent person wants to lose their cool and act like a fool. However, when you’ve been pushed and pushed, there is an eventual breaking point.

Yes, I got into fist fights. I won some fights but lost a few too.

Sadly, it all seemed to be a cycle. After getting bullied and bullied for several months, I’d snap. Moreover, some of the tiredness bled over into my home life.

Sadly, when bullies have worn you down, you’re too exhausted to even be there for the people you love when they have problems, too. You’re fresh out of patience and energy, and yes, even love.

You can’t pour from an empty cup, and as a result, you don’t give a crap about anything or anybody. All you want is to be left alone.

How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Looking back

I look back now and realize that I didn’t handle the bullying the right way. Understand that if you don’t set healthy boundaries, this is what can happen.

So, how do you stop taking shit from people before it reaches a boiling point?

1. Set Boundaries from the very beginning.

In other words, you must stand up to the bullying when it first begins. Never wait until the bullying has gotten out of control.

Because if you keep taking shit off of people and then fight back after it’s gotten so bad, it won’t do you any good. Why? Because once people get used to treating you like crap, they won’t stop, even if you stand up to them. They’ll only double and triple down on it.

Once people have grown comfortable with bullying you, they won’t want to get out of that comfort zone. Therefore, it will be like pulling teeth to get them to stop.

It will take an act of Congress to get them to leave you alone. Start standing up for yourself now. You may be a target, but you don’t have to be a victim.

2. How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

Use confident body language for the very beginning.

Don’t slouch when you sit or stand. Stand and sit up straight with your shoulders back and head held high. Confidence is your first line of defense against bullying.

Additionally, maintaining good eye contact with others is essential. Avoid looking down or away.

Do everything you can to look confident.

3. Take pride in your appearance.

Appearance isn’t the end-all, be-all, but it helps. When you look good, you feel good. So, dress your best and take care of your hygiene.

To put it bluntly, don’t go to school or work looking like you just got out of bed. Look your best and you will feel your best. And when you feel your best, you are least likely to take shit off of others.

4. Walk away from drama.

Anyone who brings you drama doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. Therefore, cut them off. Life’s too short and you have better things to do than to put up with people who bring you drama.

Sometimes it’s best to walk away.

5. How to Stop Taking Shit from People:

See your bullies for the cowards they are.

Realize that bullies aren’t happy people. In fact, they’re quite pathetic. Therefore, learn to see them for the kinds of people they are, and their antics won’t bother you as much.

Why? Because you will know that their behavior says more about them than it does about you. So, don’t give them the power to rile you.

In conclusion:

Take it from someone who has gone through bullying

Today, I’m a much calmer and happier person than I used to be. Why? Because I’m more assertive and I set boundaries. If I say no or ask someone to please stop doing something when they violate my boundaries, and they insist on continuing the behavior, I either tell them to leave right then, or I walk away after telling the person exactly what I think of them. I then cut them out of my life.

You should do the same if this happens to you.

I have learned that, although you cannot control another person’s behavior, you do have control over your own and whether to continue having them in your life. And if you refuse to associate with a person, they no longer have easy access to you. Therefore, it’s not nearly as easy for them to get to you and harm you.

So, never allow people to bully you and get out of control with their abuse. Speak out when people violate your boundaries. It’s the only way to keep the pressure from building and reaching a boiling point.

This post was all about how to stop taking shit from people so that you can reclaim your peace and take back your power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2. “You Ain’t Shit!” – 5 Reasons Why Bullies Tell You This

3. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

4. Bullying and the Fight-or-Flight Response

5. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

self-preservation instinct in animals

Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

‘Want to know all about the self-preservation instinct and why defending yourself against bullying is perfectly okay? Here are all the facts you need to know about.

self-preservation instinct

Everyone has a right to self-preservation.

In this post, you will learn about the self-preservation instinct and why it’s okay to defend yourself against bullying and abuse.

Once you learn all about these truths, you will feel better about doing what you must do to protect yourself against bullying and about self-care.

This post is all about the self-preservation instinct so that you won’t feel guilty when you must defend yourself against bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct

First, what is this instinct? It’s the natural, innate drive to defend yourself from harm and to ensure your own survival. It’s as old as humanity.

Examples of self-preservation include running from danger, fighting back against an attacker, setting boundaries, self-care, avoiding toxic people, and taking rest breaks.

Therefore, when people bully you, self-preservation is of the utmost importance. Sadly, most targets of bullying have been conditioned not to defend themselves when confronted with threats to their safety.

Therefore, you most retrain yourself to respond accordingly when people even attempt to violate your boundaries and your peace.

You must Meet your bullies where they are.

“What does this mean?” You may ask. It means that you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Put simpler, when a bully is in your face, they will go no holds barred. Therefore, you can’t afford to be nice about it. There is no being polite.

There is no way to handle a bully “nicely.” Why? Because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage.

Also, there is no being quiet because a bully will take your silence as being afraid.

In other words, never try to handle a bully politely. Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

nice and polite doesn’t work

Understand that you may have done everything to try and defuse the situation peacefully.  However, in most cases, the bully just keeps coming back.

That’s when it’s time to get down and dirty. Remember that you’re in a battle. Therefore, when you’re in a battle, there’s no time to hold back and try to be the bigger person.

Why? Because when it reaches this level, that’s when things can get dangerous fast.

You must be willing to go off on the bully and think nothing of it. In other words, you have to call them out and you can’t do it being nice. Sometimes you must get nasty.

There are times you must get just as dirty as they do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. You’re in a situation where you could get hurt and you must protect yourself by any means necessary but legal. And self-defense is legal.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

This is not the time to be concerned with what people think

It’s easy for bystanders to judge you and give unwanted advice when they’re have no skin in the game and are sitting safely in the cheap seats.

For example, you’re a victim of school bullying and you finally get fed up and begin fighting back against your bullies. You may have classmates tell you, “’Ya know? You shouldn’t have cursed so-and-so out because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.

” Really? It’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had you backed in a corner and was unloading on you. Now, all of a sudden, you’re the bad guy for using bad words and defending yourself?

Don’t fall for that crap! Know that you have every right to defend yourself against anyone who violates your boundaries. Remember, your bully came for you first. Therefore, you should tell the self-righteous asshole who feeds you this garbage to go kick rocks!

Self-Preservation instinct:

When you stand up to a bully, there will be bystanders who insert their cheap two cents.

Realize that when you’re forced to get nasty, there will be people who tell you that you should have handled it better. They will accuse you of being just as lowdown as the bully.

Moreover, these will be people who aren’t being bullied. Therefore, they’ll have no dog in the fight.

However, instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with a response. Tell them this:

“Funny, you never said a word during all the times they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say? Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

You must speak in the only language bullies understand.

Bullies don’t comprehend the meaning of class. They don’t understand morals and scruples. Moreover, they have no concept of decency and respectability. The only language bullies understand is a language that is cheap, tacky, and unsavory.

Bullies (and anyone who is even remotely impressed by them) are a dime a dozen. They really are. Therefore, there are times when you must speak in the only language they understand. Then they just might get the message and back the hell off!

If this makes you uncomfortable, I understand. It sucks when you must get down and wallow in the bullies’ foulness and filth with them. But for the sake of self-preservation, sometimes you’ve no choice but to lower your own moral standards.

The good news is that you don’t have to stay in the mud. You can reserve the nastiness for emergencies, like bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Never Be Afraid of Conflict

Conflict is a part of life. It’s something we all encounter. Many targets and survivors of bullying are deathly afraid of conflict.

Why? Because they’ve had so much of it forced on them by bullies who refuse to leave them alone. Understand that these poor souls haven’t yet dealt with the hurts they still have.

 Therefore, they don’t yet know their worth and the good they deserve. Many targets and survivors of bullying suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

It is because of this that they’re still stuck in survival mode.

As a result, target’s cave in. They give in to bullies to appease them just so they’ll shut the hell up and go away. Moreover, people get tired of hearing self-entitled bullies bitch, rant, and beat their chests when they don’t get their way.

So, the unspoken message is, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

Therefore, if you fall into this category, I understand why you end up being this way. You get exhausted when you constantly have to battle.

Struggling to take back your autonomy and self-determination wears you out after a while. You get worn down and weary. And all you want is for people to leave you alone and let you have some peace.

And you’ll do anything to have that peace, even if it means surrendering to your bullies’ demands.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Avoiding Conflict Can Have Social Consequences.

If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak and walk all over you. Therefore, you must set boundaries.

There are times when you must say no. There are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across. You must do whatever it takes to let people know that no means no and enough is enough.

Understand that this requires courage. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks. You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry.

Moreover, you must risk being lashed out at and retaliated against. Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships. And no, one of it feels good.

In short, you must stand up for yourself and that means facing conflict.

Think of it this way, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re going to face conflict no matter what. Why? because people will bring the conflict to you. Hiding from it does no good because it will eventually find you.

When people target you for bullying, conflict is unavoidable and certain.

Run from conflict and you’ll end up running from it for the rest of your life!

Therefore, why not face it head on? It’s better to embrace it and stand up to people rather than to keep avoiding it. Then, you can feel better about yourself later knowing that you finally grew a spine and told them where to shove it.

You may face retaliation for it. However, you’d face it anyway. Why? Because, right or wrong, bullies will always find some justification for attacking you.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Sometimes, Fighting Is The Only Alternative You Have

Many times throughout your life, you will hear self-righteous people preach against fighting in self-defense. When you defend yourself against physical bullies, those in power and others may tell you, “Violence doesn’t solve anything.”

If you’re a female who had to defend herself from a physical attacker, a few others may tell you, “fighting isn’t lady-like.”

Well, neither is getting your face beat in by a physical bully.

Trust me. You’d much rather fight back than to just stand there and take an ass-beating. When bullies target you for bullying and you decide to stand up for yourself, there will be people who will judge you for it.

Again, they’ll climb up on their soapbox and insert their two cents where it doesn’t belong. They’ll make comments to you that “violence doesn’t solve anything.” They may tell you that “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

You’ve heard the term, “All up in your Kool-Aid, and don’t know the flavor.” Yep! That’s where they’ll will be when you get enough of bullying and decide to take care of business.

However, what else do you do if you’re a kid at school getting their brains beat out every other day? Just stand there and allow them to hurt you over and over again?

Moreover, what do you do if you’re a female in a dark parking lot and some creep jumps out and grabs you? You do what you must to protect yourself. And if that means beating the thunder out of someone, then so be it!

Self-Defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a Right!

Targets of bullying get suspended or expelled from school when they finally defend themselves against a bully. It happens all the time. After months or years of being mercilessly bullied you grow tired of all the BS.

You’ve tried handling it through nonviolent means. However, bullies only took you for being a wuss and increased the physical attacks. Moreover, they did this until you finally got fed up and beat the living crap out of them.

Now, everyone’s surprised and outraged! Not at the bully who attacked you, but at you! But where was their outrage when you were getting pummeled without provocation?

Where was their outrage when the shoe was on the other foot? Where was their humanity when you cried out for help?

These are the exact questions you should ask anyone who gets offended by your defending yourself. Know that you’re just as good as the next person.

Moreover, realize that you have the same rights as anyone else- including your bullies. And know that you have the right to defend yourself anytime some creep threatens you with physical harm.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

It’s about taking care of yourself.

Understand that this is a part of self-care. It’s true that fighting isn’t always the answer. However sometimes, bullies will leave you no other choice.

So, if you’ve tried everything else, know that you must do what you must to keep yourself safe. And if it means putting up your dukes and getting froggy, so be it.

It’s sad when a target must fight all the time to keep themselves from being harmed. However, I don’t hold it against anyone who fights back under those circumstances.

Why? Because you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

Tell these nosy bystanders how you feel and what you think of them. Because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you.

Realize that there are times when you have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. Therefore, when some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they just might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

Therefore, meet the you bullies where they are. Respond in kind to bad treatment. And assert your right not to put up with bullying and abuse.

This post was all about the self-preservation instinct to assure you that self-defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a law of nature and it’s your right!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

 2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?