examples of subtle bullying in the workplace

Examples of Subtle Bullying: 6 Powerful Ways to Read Between the Lines

July 29, 2025July 29, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know some examples of subtle bullying? Here are a few you need to know.

Subtle bullying is the most insidious because it is sneaky. The bullying isn’t as direct, and it’s designed to fly right over your head. In other words, it happens without you realizing it and doesn’t give you a chance to respond.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about some examples of subtle bullying, so that you can recognize it when it happens and respond appropriately and confidently.

Once you learn about these examples, you will be better equipped to address them and prevent them from happening again.

This post is all about examples of subtle bullying, so you know what it looks and sounds like, and can more easily set boundaries.

Examples of Subtle Bullying

Subtle bullying is the most demeaning and humiliating for a person. I say this because when this type of bullying happens, the bullies are slick about it.

They catch you off guard, taunting you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out who they’re directing it at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

The bully may not necessarily address it to you. However, while you may be unaware, any bystanders and witnesses nearby will immediately know who the bully is insulting. It’s amusing how we tend to see things more clearly from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. And they can quickly fly over your head. As a result, you end up looking foolish for not catching it in time.

Additionally, the bully’s words may be vague and unclear, but they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.

Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.
But understand that although the bully and a few others might think he (the bully) is witty or cute and that the creep slapped you with a good burn, there are reasons why these types are so slick with their mouths.

Here are a few examples of Subtle Bullying

Example 1.

A heavier family member is at a family gathering. The family is discussing the cat that has just had kittens, and one of the kittens is a runt.

The heavier family member then mentions that they were a tiny four-pound preemie at birth and that they were once the runt of the litter too.

As the heavier family member leaves to go to the bathroom, another family member remarks, “But you caught up, though.” Then they giggle and say, “I don’t think she heard that.”

But the heavier family member does hear it, and it hurts. However, being the better and wiser person, she lets it go for the sake of keeping the peace. She’s an adult, and she lets it roll down her back.

However, inside, she’s crying. But she hides it with a smile and a laugh.

Example 2.

An older father is discussing his three sons. Two of the kids are blessed with lovely homes and generous paychecks. One is poor. The father remarks that, if he ever got sick and couldn’t live on his own, he’d have to live in the closet if he had to depend on the poor child to give him a place to live.

And he says it right in front of the poor child. The poor child is the bigger person. Therefore, the poor son is the graceful one and lets it go for the sake of family harmony.

However, inside, he feels less than but masks it perfectly.

1. They’re great big cowards.

Subtle bullies are too cowardly to make a direct attack. Moreover, they count on the possibility of you not noticing their insults.

Why? Because they know that they’ll likely throw you off balance. Therefore, you’ll be less likely to counter with a good response and make them look foolish.

Or, maybe they do it in a setting that makes it difficult to respond, such as the family gathering we just mentioned.

Again, these types of bullies are cowards, and they’re probably in a superior position in the family, where they can get away with it.

2. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

They think it makes them look cute.

Passive-aggressiveness is also used to get attention and look intelligent in front of others. These bullies can only achieve this by humiliating someone else and making them look (and feel) foolish.

Moreover, if they feel bad about themselves and their position in life, they roll out the zingers to make themselves feel better. Some people need to feel superior to someone else. Moreover, they often choose the least capable person in a group.

Remember, shit always rolls downhill and lands on the bottom rat. And when something lands on the bottom, that’s where it stays.

3. To stun you and keep you silent.

Often, the shock value of the insults is such that it leaves the recipient and bystanders speechless. Shock shuts down the ability to think clearly and causes the victim to pause for a second or two.

The target is often left stunned, standing there with their mouths hanging open and unable to respond quickly and appropriately. As a result, the person appears slow and feeble-minded in the eyes of bystanders, making the bully look smart and witty.

It can also strike fear into the target and keep them from speaking out, afraid that the bully will only verbally attack them with more insults.

4. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

Easy Deniability.

If the insults are vague and indirect, there’s a higher chance the bully will escape accountability if the target catches it right off and responds to it.

Then, the bully can more easily misconstrue the message and defensively claim innocence. They can say things such as,

“Oh, that’s not what I meant.”
“No harm intended.”
“I wasn’t referring to you.”
“You took that the wrong way.”

Understand that although the garbage that comes out of their mouths may be vile and directed at you, it will often have several different interpretations. And because of those multiple meanings, the bully can very innocently explain away the put-down.

As a result, they can make you look overly sensitive or mentally unstable.

But here’s the good news!

There are ways to read between the lines and stonewall these lowlife cowards anytime they get slick-mouthed with you. Here’s how you read between the lines.

1. Listen to your gut.

If that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach feels off and you sense something is amiss, don’t ignore it. Your gut feeling is often right, so trust it!

2. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

Quickly observe any surrounding bystanders.

Make a split-second micro-glance of the witnesses and note their reactions and who they’re looking at. Notice their facial expressions and gestures.

If you see any of these expressions below, and you’re likely to notice many of them together, you are the target of the insult.

3. The witnesses’ eyes suddenly widen, and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth.

This happens any time a bully throws a subtle zinger at you. Naturally, you’ll notice the people around you. You’ll see how their eyes nearly pop out of their heads and the funny looks they give you.

The reason for this is that they’re wondering why you don’t tell this person to piss off. They’re standing there thinking, “Damn! Why aren’t you saying something to defend yourself? If it were me, I’d tell that smart-ass piece of garbage to go to hell!”

4. They alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.

Again, they’re shocked that the bully said that to you. They’re waiting on you to deliver a good response. Moreover, they’re even more appalled that they did it right in front of your face and you aren’t standing up to it.

They’re thinking, “Why aren’t you telling this creep to get fucked? If it were me, I’d handle this shit quickly!”

3. Examples of Subtle Bullying:

You hear light gasps and grunts from the “audience.”

Again, they can’t believe that this person had the balls to say that to you. And they’re wondering why you stand there and take it.

5. You see their whole faces change suddenly and mouths slightly gape open.

These people aren’t only shocked, they’re embarrassed for you. Moreover, they’re relieved that it’s you getting subtly pummeled and not them.

Anytime a bully humiliates you like that in front of others. You must respond quickly or you’ll end up seeming like a pushover. Then, everyone will start bullying you.

6. If you hear soft but Mocking giggles, chuckles, or laughter

When you hear these things, see it for what it is. These people are enjoying seeing you get owned. Therefore, rain on their little parade. Tell the bully to get bent.

I realize that this may be difficult to do if it’s a family member. In that case, you don’t have to insult them back. However, you can tell them that what they did was wrong and that you don’t have to tolerate it.

If you see any number of these reactions from people around you, you will know automatically. Therefore, you can address the problem accordingly.

Examples of Subtle Bullying:

In CLOSING

When bullies throw subtle zingers and insults at you, the last thing you should do is not respond. You must see this for what it is. Your bullies are using passive-aggression. This type of bullying is psychological and you must stand up to it as you would if the bullying was physical.

The best thing you can do is address it. And when you do, chances are that they will respect your right to be treated better.

This post gave you some examples of subtle bullying so that you’ll recognize it when it happens and address it accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

2. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

3. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

Gatekeeper Bullying: 10 Ways Bullies Act as Gatekeepers

June 4, 2025June 18, 20253 Comments

Want to know about gatekeeper bullying? Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

Gatekeepers are those who allow only certain people in and keep others out.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about gatekeeper bullying so that you can recognize it when it happens to you.

Once you learn about this sneaky form of bullying, you will be able to find ways to skirt around the gatekeeper and protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying to give you the signs you need to recognize.

Gatekeeper Bullying

This kind of bullying occurs mainly in the workplace. However, it can happen anywhere, at school, in the neighborhood, or even in the family.

Before we get into this topic, let’s find out what gatekeeping is. Therefore, what is gatekeeping? It is the act of taking control over resources, time, materials, information and chance opportunities.

Again, gatekeeper bullying happens mostly in the workforce. However, it can happen anywhere. Gatekeepers can be individuals or groups. They’re the type of bullies who specialize in letting only certain people in and keep others out of the loop.

As a result, they limit the choices and opportunities of those they deem unworthy and give them all to others. Therefore, understand that gatekeeping is a form of bullying.

Why? Because it’s specifically designed to leave out people the gatekeeper either hates or doesn’t like.

Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

Gatekeepers are passive bullies.

Why are they passive? Because they aren’t out there, actively doing things to make their victims’ lives hell. In fact, they don’t have to do anything at all.

The problem is not what they do, it’s what they don’t do. These bullies are passive because they take a more indirect approach. Therefore, they’re much harder to detect.

While other bullies are out there, actively doing bad things to ruin their targets’ lives, gatekeepers do their dirt on the sly.

This is what makes gatekeeper bullying so hard to prove.

The weapons this type of bully uses are their talents, resources, time, materials, and their access to information. Therefore, they have the power to either withhold those things or use them as leverage against you. Also, they have the power to control deadlines.

In doing these things to the people they can’t stand, they create undo stress for them. So, what tactics do these people use against you?

1. Gatekeeper Bullying:

They Withhold resources.

These resources could be money or material like paper and ink cartridges for the printer. ‘You see? Gatekeepers like to bully those who are bold, resourceful, innovative, and creative. And if you’re that type, look out!

Why? Because you threaten them. Therefore, these bullies will withhold resources just to slow you down. And when you ask them where the materials are? They’ll only sweetly reply that they either can’t find them or that they’re running low.

Therefore, they’ll make plausible excuses.

But see this for what it is and the goal behind it. They do this to sabotage you on the job. And it’s designed to make you look incompetent or that you just don’t give a crap.

Without the tools to do your job, you appear to be a bad employee. And, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Sally didn’t give you the supplies you needed to do your assignment?

If nothing else, know this! These bullies have a vested interest in keeping you out of the loop.

2. Controlling Your Access to Accurate Information.

This person will control your ability to have the information you need to complete a task. They’ll do this by either completely withholding it or only giving you bits and pieces of it.

For instance, they might give you a five-step process to an assignment when the job requires ten steps to complete.

Also, if there’s a company meeting that starts at eight o’clock, the gatekeeper may tell you that the meeting starts at eight-fifteen.

They may even “accidentally” forget to tell you about a mandatory Zoom call. Gatekeepers may also discourage others from helping you out.

And you won’t think to question it because this person has probably worked with the company longer than you have. Therefore, you’re likely to trust them.

Even if you don’t, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Kathy gave you the wrong information?

You must know the intentions behind it. And the gatekeeper’s objective is to make you look like you can’t do your job.

3. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving Unrealistic Deadlines.

For example, these types of bully bosses may give you deadlines that are impossible to reach. Moreover, they might pile so much work on you that you don’t have a chance in hell of getting it done in time.

And, are you likely to question the boss? Would you have the guts to tell him that there’s no way you can make that deadline or complete all that work in time?

And if you did, what do you think the boss would say? He’d likely hit you with a barrage of gaslighting.

Make no mistake! Your boss really doesn’t want you to make that due date. He wants you to fail. Why? Because it makes you look bad.

4. Controlling Opportunities.

This bully will block any chances of advancement. For instance, you may be up for a well-deserved promotion and get passed over. Instead, they may give it to someone who isn’t qualified.

In fact, they’ll give it to anyone who isn’t you. Why? Because if they gave it to you, they would have to admit that you’re damn good at your job.

And when you’re good at your job, you outshine them. Therefore, in order for the boss to look like he’s better than you, he has to make you look like crap.

5. Gatekeeper bullying:

Controlling Your Life-Chances.

These bullies might throw a monkey wrench in your life-chances. So, what are life chances?

According to EBSCO Research Starters, they “refer to the probabilities of opportunities to individuals in society, influencing their potential for success and upward mobility.

Gatekeepers love to control your life chances and keep you stuck. Why? Because it gives them a rush of power. Also, it keeps them on top.

So, how do they do it? They do it by giving a potential employer a bad reference when you leave the toxic workplace.

Therefore, how do you protect yourself from an undeserved bad reference? You do it by just putting in your resignation, fulfilling the conditions of your two-weeks notice, and getting the hell out of Dodge!

Also, if possible, you don’t put them down as a reference. I know this sounds dishonest. However, if you quit a workplace you were bullied in, it’s never a good idea to even let on to a new company that you ever worked for them.

Because workplace bullies will find ways to block you from future employment if they get the opportunity to do so. Therefore, it’s best not to give them that chance.

6. Destroying Your Chances of Success.

This is what their shenanigans are all about. To keep you from having any successes. Again, the bully’s entire mission is to set you up to fail.

They trip you up, then stand back and smile as they watch you fall on your face. And they pat themselves on the back for a job well-done.

They’ve contained the threat and now they can breathe easier and work in peace, knowing that their little corner is safe again.

7. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Excluding you from meetings, classes, and workplace social functions.

These bullies will also conveniently forget to tell you about any meetings or social gatherings. Moreover, they’ll make sure no one else tells you either.

Why? They do it simply to make you feel like you don’t belong there. Also, they do it to make success feel like it’s out of reach.

8. Adding more steps than needed to do your job.

Bullies may tell you that your job requires more steps than it really does. Understand that they do this to slow you down.

Why? Because you just might make that deadline and upstage them. Trust me when I say this. These people will pull out all the stops to keep you from finishing tasks.

9. They distract you from your work.

Workplace bullies deliberately distract you from your projects with constant interruptions, which are time-consuming. Why? Because they know that if they can stall you, they may cause you to miss a deadline.

Moreover, they may call your office phone with constant memos and reminders. But realize that it’s all a ploy to throw you off your game.

10. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving you meaningless or degrading assignments.

Bully bosses will often take you off you regular work assignments and give you degrading or subservient jobs. For instance, they may select you to clean the office bathrooms.

Also, they may designate you to make coffee runs for everyone else. Or he may give you the task of serving coffee to the rest of the team.

You might even be tasked with emptying all the trash.

However, see this for what it is. He’s doing it to degrade you. In other words, he’s demoting you, only without making it official.

In closing

If you recognize three or more of these signs and they occur repeatedly, it might be time to quietly begin looking for new employment.

You won’t to create an exit plan early in the game. Why? So that you can get out before the bullying has time to do any lasting damage to your mental health.

You must do what you can to protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying on the job so that you can recognize it when it happens to you, cut your losses, and quietly find new employment.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

2. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

3. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step