‘Want to know defense mechanisms examples of victims of bullying and if they describe you? Here’s everything you need to know.
Being a target can be a lonely and terrifying existence. Because of the intense hatred people spew daily, you walk on eggshells. Why? Because you don’t know what the bullies and their minions will do next.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common defense mechanisms and examples so you can recognize them in yourself and take steps to ensure your safety.
Once you learn about these crucial details, you will be able to decide if leaving the environment is your best option.
This post is all about defense mechanisms, so you can gauge whether you should move to a safer environment.
Defense Mechanisms Examples
When you employ defense mechanisms, it is only out of fear. It means that you must tiptoe around everyone else. And if you must walk lightly around others at work or school, you must find a way to get out of there. Fast!
Why? Because you don’t know what they’ll do. They could physically hurt you, or worse. Also, you’re desperate to correct what is wrong, but you have no clue what it is.
So many others can relate. With that said, I want to tell you that if you are targeted by bullies, you are not alone. You will eventually overcome your tormentors just like I did.
So, what are two lesser-known defense strategies targets use?
1. Dressing up for school or work.
To keep their self-esteem from completely tanking, they may dress in flashy clothes. Sometimes, you overcompensate by trying to look like a million bucks.
Clothes from Walmart just aren’t good enough. You think you must shop at Maurice’s, or maybe even Nordstrom, in order to feel good about yourself.
And if you aren’t dressed to the nines, you feel less than. You also do this to alleviate some of the shame.
Not that dressing snazzy is a bad thing. It isn’t. However, the reason many victims do it is that they’re insecure inside. And the clothes help to remedy that insecurity.
This has a lot to do with how poorly others have treated you. So, you dress even better.
But your bullies and everyone else may only label you “a poser.” However, the nice clothes have a way of buffering your self-esteem when bullies attack you.
Moreover, you think that your attire provides you with a sense of control.
2. Defense Mechanisms Examples:
You act stuck-up and conceited.
Put plainly, you may think to yourself. You may even say out loud, “I don’t care what they say. I’m awesome. They’re just too jealous to admit it.”
Does this sound arrogant? Conceited? Maybe. Does this sound like narcissism? Perhaps. Is it the right attitude to have? Both yes and no.
Sometimes, a good defense is for you to act conceited. To survive, you must act as if you’re better than they are.
In other words, your holier-than-thou attitude protects you, in a sense. However unattractive it might be, it helps you to preserve what little self-esteem and dignity you have left.
It helps you to keep going when things are at their worst. Most importantly, it helps you to keep from being totally brainwashed and reprogrammed by others.
And these idiots would love nothing more than to destroy your mental health.
3. Put up walls to shut others out.
You may walk around with your nose in the air and refuse to speak. I did. Why? Because they’d treated me so horribly that I had nothing to say to them. I was like, “F*ck ’em.”
So, if you’re feeling the same, I don’t blame you.
Also, you may have a sassy and smart-alecky attitude. I say this from experience. I was extremely sarcastic and had a snotty disposition.
Heck! I even laughed at and bullied others to grab back some power. My attitude stunk – period. Back then, I felt that my attitude was justified. However, bullying others was wrong. And I was wrong for it.
However, many victims think that it’s the only way to stay strong and maintain a little bit of poise. This is why we must teach them never to bully someone else. Instead, we must convince them to befriend other targets.
Defense Mechanisms Examples:
Most Self-Protective Behaviors are counterproductive.
Although it’s only a self-protective behavior, this attitude can easily get you hurt. It can also drive away those who would otherwise be great friends and allies.
Nobody wants to risk rejection, even those who aren’t targets of bullying. I don’t recommend you bully others as I did.
However, if people are bullying you, you have every right not to speak to them. And you need to hold your head high. Just be aware of the circumstances first.
4. Sarcasm.
Some targets of bullying can be really sarcastic. This sarcasm gives them a sense of power. In fact, it’s how they survive.
But understand that this reaction to others stems only from fear. And it’s no way to live. Therefore, I cannot stress enough that, if you’re a target of bullying, don’t let it change your attitude.
Pick and choose those to whom you show your snarky attitude. Choose only those who mistreat you.
Sometimes, sarcasm can be socially powerful. But at other times, it can get you into serious trouble.
5. Defense Mechanisms Examples:
Mean-Mugging
Many victims of bullying walk around with a mean look on their faces. Mostly bullied boys and men do this.
However, I knew a girl who did this back in school.
Because she was short, about 4’11” or 5’0″ tall. She was insecure. Therefore, she felt she had to just keep away from people who might want to hurt her.
Again, this mechanism is designed to keep people away just in case they have harm on their mind. I can’t say that I mean-mugged. However, I did give lots of dirty looks to bullies as I passed them in the hallways.
What were they going to do, beat me up for glaring at them? It was my way of silently bullying them back. And I could do it covertly, without being detected.
6. They Become Bullies Themselves.
After enduring bullying for a long time, you can become cold toward others. As a result, your heart hardens. Then, you think that cruelty is the only way to protect yourself.
Bullying leaves you with a sense that you’ve lost all control over your life. It is as if you no longer get a say in what happens to you. In short, you think that you have power over nothing!
Therefore, you become desperate. You ache to have power over something, anything! That’s when you start bullying those who are even more vulnerable than you are.
You see? By bullying you, bullies unwittingly teach you how to bully.
Therefore, never let it take away your humanity. It won’t be easy, but do your level best to hold on to your empathy.
7. Displacement.
An example of displacement is when a child gets yelled at by their parents. Then he goes outside and kicks the dog. A bullied kid gets bullied by bigger bullies, then takes it out on a weaker child in his class.
I think this is the case with bully-victims. They get bullied. Then, they go dump on someone else, even weaker than they are. Again, they do this to get rid of feelings of powerlessness.
Understand that you don’t have to take your frustrations out on someone else. The best thing to do here is to befriend them. It’s much healthier. Also, you may just be the friends you both are looking for.
There are also defense mechanisms that are healthy.
8. Defense Mechanisms Examples:
Sublimation.
This is one of the healthiest defense mechanisms there is. Why? Sublimation is when a bullied victim channels their anger into productive outlets.
For example, a bullied girl channels her suffering into singing and winning contests. A boy works to become a better athlete. Maybe a student makes stellar grades to cope with bullying.
And when I was bullied in school, I channeled much of my resentment into writing and music.
These are all healthy ways to deal with bullies. Why? Because they motivate you to better yourself. Moreover, you are doing something you love.
That, in itself, can take your mind off the bullying. Why? Because you’ll be too busy working on yourself to think about your bullies.
Moreover, it’s how you build self-esteem and grow your confidence. And you form social connections. People love those who are talented. Therefore, keep working on your talents and gifts. Polish them.
Then, get out there and show them what you’ve got! I guarantee you’ll thank yourself later.
9. Self-care.
Self-care is doing things that are good for you. You eat right, exercise, and practice good hygiene and grooming.
But that’s only part of it. Self-care also means refusing to interact with those who mistreat you. In short, you set boundaries. Then, you have nothing more to do with people who violate those boundaries.
This is doing things to ensure your safety and take care of your mental health. Thirdly, you also indulge in your hobbies – doing things you love.
This is how you bully-proof yourself.
This post gave you all the defense Mechanisms examples so that you can know which of those to shun and which to try.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying
2. How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You