rreWant to know some good roasts for bullies? Here are a few witticisms you can keep in your back pocket just in case a bully tries to get cute.

Bullies thrive on power and control. They use smart-alecky comments to control how you feel about yourself and how others see you.

If you don’t have the right comebacks to push back, they will escalate. Even worse, your self-esteem will take a beating.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn good roasts for bullies so you can come back strong and confident.

Once you learn all about these effective responses, you will keep your confidence intact. And, best of all, your bullies will probably go away and find another target.

This post provides a list of good roasts for bullies so you can respond effectively and protect your mental health.

Good Roasts for Bullies

Bullies love to control you through digs and zingers. Also, they’ll repeat the same worn-out tropes to make you believe it too.

Here’s what they’re most likely to say and what you can come back with:

Scenario 1.

Bullies: “Apart from our approval, you can do nothing, you are nothing, and you never will be.”

You: “Apart from your approval, I’m better off. I can do and be anything I want to be.”

Scenario 2.

Bullies: “You’ll never find happiness (without our permission).”

You: “I don’t need your permission to be happy. I create my own happiness.”

Or you can say,“Really? Why’s that? Because you never found any?”   

Good Roasts for Bullies:

Scenario 3.

Bullies: “Nobody will ever like you.”

You: “Maybe you never will. But I don’t care.”

Or you can say:  “Really? Who’s ‘nobody’? You?”

Scenario 4.

Bullies: “You’re nothing without our approval.”

You: “I’m nothing with it because you are nothing.”

Good Roasts for Bullies:

always counter the bully. 

Always counter a bully’s statements. Never stay silent. Why? If you stay quiet, the bully will escalate.

respond calmly.

There’s one thing you should know right now. This is very important. Your counterstatements won’t work unless you say them calmly. Therefore, never respond emotionally to a bully.

Use as few words as possible.

Victims of bullying tend to over-talk when they respond to a bully’s verbal insults. Therefore, don’t waste your breath. Remember that bullies want to keep you interacting with them. Don’t give them what they want.

One-liners are always best when dealing with verbal bullies. One sentence, no explanations, then walk away. That’s it.

You’ll be surprised at what it will do for your self-esteem and your spirit!

Good Roasts for Bullies:

Universal comebacks.

There are responses you can use for everything your bullies throw at you. These are usually deadpan responses

5. “Whatever.”

 This is one you can use in almost any verbal situation. This little one-word wonder is the reply of the ages! It’s short and sweet. It’s the perfect blow-off to any bully.

Let’s face it, being blown off with this magic word is a real pisser-offer to every bully. Why? Because they’re looking for a big reaction from you. Therefore, any time you calmly respond with this, it sends the message to the bully that they don’t insult you; they bore you. Ouch!

Another reason this little beauty of a word infuriates bullies so much is that it’s impossible to counter.  It stops them dead in their tracks and leaves them looking foolish.

Bullies may verbally retaliate with a “whatever” of their own. However, it will only make them look unoriginal. Additionally, the bully will also look childish and corny while you look calm and cool.

Therefore, the trick with this little one-word bomb is to draw first blood. In other words, he who says it first automatically wins the day!

6. Good Roasts for Bullies:

“If you say so.”

Again, bullies want you to react emotionally. With this answer, you roast them without giving them what they want. Moreover,  you tell the bully that they aren’t worth the energy. Therefore, you take the wind out of their sails.

They expected a huge emotional reaction, and you didn’t give them that. So, they end up disappointed.

7. “That’s your opinion.”

With this response, you’re sending the message that you don’t care what the bully thinks of you. You’re saying that their opinions don’t matter and they don’t affect you. Therefore, they can’t make you feel bad about yourself.

8. “Try Harder.”

This response is short but deadly. Also, it’s served icy cold. When you answer with this, you tell the bully that their insult had no effect on you. It’s like telling a male physical bully that they hit like a girl.

Bullies want maximum effect on your self-esteem. And when they don’t get it, it deflates their ego like a popped balloon.

9. Good Roasts for Bullies:

“And… ?”

When you respond like this, you’re basically telling the bully to keep talking. Moreover, you tell them that their words don’t hurt your feelings at all. Therefore, your bully realizes that they’re only wasting their time with you.

And they’ll likely leave you alone because you’re not such an easy target.

10. “Please. Keep Going.”

This response shocks most bullies. Why?

11. “Nice try.”

“Nice try” is a good answer because it lets the bully know that their insult didn’t land. Therefore, you appear calm and cool while your bully looks like a moron.

The fewer words you say, the better. Why? Because when you speak minimally, you send the message to the bully that they aren’t worth arguing with. And that really pisses them off.

And the best part is that you can use these little firecrackers for anything the bully hurls at you. You can say it, then walk away.

Therefore, keep these in your back pocket for later use.

12. Good Roasts for Bullies:

“You sound obsessed.”

This little roast is perfect when an audience is present. Instead of responding emotionally, you coolly imply that they behave the way they do because they secretly like you. And really, bullies do have a twisted obsession with their victims.

So, why not point that out in an intelligent way? It will embarrass the bully and make them not want to mess with you again.

Good Roasts for Bullies:

Comebacks that bite

Here are a few replies with more sting.

13. “If ignorance is bliss, you must be the most blissful person in the world.”

With this little jewel, you’re clearly pointing out the bully’s stupidity. Most bullying comes from ignorance. This is even better when you use it in public.

14. “If bullshit wore a bra, you’d be top-heavy.”

This is a good response to use when dealing with female bullies. With this, you point out that the bully is full of it. And you do it with a dash of humor.

With a male bully, you could say, “If bullshit wore a jock-strap, you’d be well endowed.”

Good Roasts for bullies:

Insulting Counter-Jabs

15. If I want to hear from an ass, I’ll fart.

This one isn’t as classy, I’ll admit. However, you can use this one with a bully who is openly obnoxious. Here are a few others you can use for bullies who are loud.

16. Were you born a jackass or did you have to work at it?

This is self-explanatory.

17. Good Roasts for Bullies:

Take a break. You don’t have to be a moron every day of your life.

With the comebacks above, you are insulting the bully’s intelligence. Making someone out to be an idiot is worse than yelling and cursing them out.

18. Boneheads like you are the reason abortion is legal.

Not only are you calling the bully an idiot, but you’re also sending the message that the world would be a better place if they weren’t around. Therefore, this is a two-in-one.

Good Roasts for Bullies:

Comebacks that weaponize your bully’s emotions.

19. “You mad? Fix your face, sweetie.”

This one’s for the bully who gives you dirty looks. This response is a gem because, instead of allowing them to intimidate you, you use it to ridicule them.

Also, it highlights your bully’s anger. And you get to take their outrage and rub their noses in it. Now, who doesn’t love that?

Therefore, put these in your toolbox, because with them, you can’t go wrong! Just remember the rules for these stingers. Say them calmly and coolly.

Then watch your bullies’ reactions. Smile as they search and stumble to find a response without repeating you and looking utterly ridiculous.

You will throw your bullies off balance! Most importantly, you preserve your own sanity by refusing to argue with them. In that way, you buffer your self-esteem and maintain your confidence.

They may not stop talking. They may even repeat themselves. However, you countered their attacks intelligently. You didn’t take it lying down. So, you dealt a blow, and that’s what matters.

20. “You’re not a happy person, are you?”

Roast your bullies with this, and you imply that they only come after you because they’re miserable. You also indicate that the only way they can feel better about themselves is to make someone else feel bad.

When you come back with this, you’re letting the bully and everyone else within earshot know that they’re a miserable human being. Ouch!

Pointing out their misery can humiliate them, especially if an audience is present.

Good Roasts for bullies:

Counter-Jabs that Call out their behavior.

There are also stinging replies you can use to point out your bullies’ behavior. Here are a few of them.

21. Are you so miserable that you have to put someone else down to feel better about yourself?

By saying this, you’re not only calling out their behavior, but you’re also exposing the bully as the pathetic loser they are. Anyone who must berate others to feel powerful can’t be about much.

Therefore, you instill some shame into the bullies, and they’ll likely decide that you aren’t the one they want to tangle with.

22. You can’t insult me. I’d have to care about your opinions first.

With this little gem, you’re telling your bullies that they’re wasting their breath on you. And if you’re a bully, it’s nowhere near as fun to take pot shots at someone who doesn’t give a damn what you think.

Therefore, they’ll decide that you aren’t worth the energy and find an easier target.

23. Good Roasts for Bullies:

Why are you so obsessed with me? That’s creepy, and I don’t like you that way.

This is a great clap-back because you’re humiliating the bullies by highlighting their obsession with you. Also, you’re making it appear to bystanders as though they are romantically interested in you, but don’t know how else to get your attention.

Therefore, if you want to humiliate your bully, use this.

24. You must bully people to compensate for your shoe size.

The most effective jab is to reframe the bully’s behavior as a response to a shortcoming.  When you do it this way, you can reduce the bully’s power.

And the best part is that you make them look foolish in front of an audience.

25. Good Roasts for Bullies:

You need to stop outing yourself.

This is a good one because you make it seem to others as if your bullies are projecting their issues onto you. And, in most cases of bullying, they are.

Bonus: More Comebacks for bullies.

For example, your bully may ask you, “‘You want to fight me?”  Then, you can say, “I would but shit splatters.”

If your bully tells you to get a life, you say, “Like yours? Nah. I’ll pass.”

If the bully tells you that you’re an arrogant jerk, you could say, “That’s a compliment coming from you.”

And, if the bully tells you that your shirt looks like it’s from the Salvation Army, you could come back with, “Oh, you shop there, too, huh?”

If a bully flips you off, you could say, “Behind every bird is a pile of shit.”

The possibilities are endless. There are millions of good counter-jabs you can use to shut bullies down. However, the trick is to memorize them and know them by heart.

Good Roasts for Bullies:

In Closing:

I can’t stress this enough. Remember to come back calmly and with as few words as possible. These replies aren’t as effective if you don’t use them calmly.

Also, the fewer words you use, the better! When you use these comebacks, walk away. Say no more. The fewer words you use, the more it disappoints your bullies.

Why? Because it sends them the message that they bore you. And that’s a buzzkill to bullies.

If you’re a target of bullying, I cannot stress how important it is for you to memorize these zingers. Moreover, you must be quick! You must be able to think on your feet!

When you respond correctly, you throw your bullies off balance. Moreover, you infuriate them so much that they won’t be able to think straight. They will probably react out of emotion. And when they do that, they will only expose themselves.

You can also use some of these against gaslighters. They even work with some cases of subtle bullying. And it will instantly boost your self-esteem. It will save your mental health from any damage that verbal bullying can cause.

Once you learn how to disarm bullies, you will throw them for a loop and discourage them from ever coming for you again.

This post gives you a list of good roasts for bullies so that you can counter bullying calmly and confidently.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Comebacks for Bullies: 12 Phrases that Shut Them Up

2.  How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

3. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

5. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

6. Examples of Subtle Bullying: 6 Powerful Ways to Read Between the Lines