Tag: bullying

unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

Instantly Expose Bullies

7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

9 Comments

Instantly Expose Bullies

‘Want to know how to instantly expose bullies for who they are and get your life back? We must learn how to do this effectively if we even hope to regain peace in our lives and reclaim our personal power.

in this post, you will learn 7 secrets to instantly expose bullies.

Fortunately, there are several things you can do to rip the mask off and keep yourself safe. Introducing, 7 secrets to instantly expose bullies and unleash your power. These are things that I learned through trial and error and wish I had known when I was young and enduring bullying myself.

However, know that there will be a certain degree of risk involved. But also know that you take a risk each day by walking outside. Risk is something no one can escape unless they want to live a meaningless life.

  1. Know your enemy.

    How you do this is to stand back and always OBSERVE the people around you, but without looking like you are watching them. Pay close attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. I can’t stress enough the importance of this. This is how you find out who the trouble makers are.

    In other words, if you see another student gossip and make trouble for others, you can be sure that in time, they will do the same to you. This is how I now know who to avoid at all costs. However, be advised that avoidance will not work if you have a determined bully after you. If a person wants to get to you badly enough, they will seek you out until they find you.

  2. Document everything.

    As it has been said, “if it isn’t documented, it never happened”. Keep a journal and write down everything. I did this in junior high and high school just in case one of my bullies either hurt me bad enough to hospitalize me, or worse…killed me.

    Moreover, you must write down the names of your bullies, the names of any bystanders or authority (teachers, principal, or any member of authority) present at the time the altercation took place, the date, time, place it happened, what happened and if possible, why it happened. Also, record what is said and by whom. Document every… single… detail!!

3. Never reveal anything that you wouldn’t want anyone to know.

You’ll be asking for trouble and it’s better to be safe than sorry. You never know when your bullies might turn them against you. And once they do, you can be sure that your former friends will be more than happy to tell all!

4. Keep a low profile.

Don’t do anything that may draw attention to yourself. And stay away from places the bullies may gather. Think, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Just don’t make it obvious to your bullies that you are ducking and dodging them. I avoided several confrontations by simply laying low.

However, if the bullies do seek you out, they will risk exposing themselves because the people who know you and aren’t influenced by the bullies will see what is going on and know they are stalking you.

So, keep that in mind as well.

  1. Save any threatening texts, emails, social media messages or voicemails. 

And if possible, set your cellphone to record during any altercation brought on by a bully, provided it is hidden in your pocket. You certainly do not want the bully to know what you are doing.

Also, keep your composure and be sure not to tarnish the recording by yelling or using foul language. Schools are now becoming more aware of the issue of bullying. If you happen not to have a cellphone, keep a digital recorder handy (if possible) and be ready to record as soon as the torment starts.

  1. Never brag about any evidence you have on your bullies.

Not even to your best friend…PERIOD! Again, bullies have a knack for prying information out of people, even your friends. They can also turn your friends against you, making them more than happy to volunteer the information. Don’t do it! Anytime you are a target of bullies, you are in no position to trust anyone!

  1. Call the bully out in front of an audience. 

This is risky and could bring retaliation. However, the bully will also know that you are on to him/her and you just might intimidate them enough that they will leave you alone. It happened for me on a few occasions. But keep in mind that this doesn’t happen for everyone.

Calling the bully out in front of people can also humiliate the bully and make that person more determined to get you. So access the bully’s personality and the situation carefully before you decide to do this. Also, you could, very slyly, force the bully to expose him/herself. You can learn how, right here.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

1 Trait That is More Powerful than Perfection

4 Comments

confidence, empowerment, smaller chess piece looking in the mirror to see bigger chess piece

What is more powerful than perfection?

The answer is simple… confidence!

Confidence is THE one key ingredient that everyone must have to succeed in life. When you have it, you have better and more fulfilling relationships, you are more successful in school and in your career. You have more dates, friends, are more likely to have a great marriage and raise confident and successful children.

On the other hand, a Perfectionist is not a confident person and has to work so much harder just to go through life. A perfectionist is insecure with herself and others. She focuses more on herself than others and is always worried about what others may think and say about her. This is why she tries so hard to be…well…perfect.

A perfectionist is both critical of herself and others and tends to have strained relationships because of her obsessive need to be right…all the time…and about EVERYTHING! She thinks that she must be perfect for others to like her and covertly seeks validation from others rather than looking within herself for it. And the outcome is usually adverse.

confident man

Confidence means acceptance.

A confident person realizes that no one is perfect and that they will make mistakes. When that person does make a mistake, she doesn’t make a big deal about it and beat herself up. Sure, she may be disappointed for a short while but she always gets over it very quickly and “bounces back”.

She may even have a few people who do not like her. But being the confident person she is, she doesn’t concern herself with how she’s perceived because she knows that she is awesome and that there are plenty of others who DO love her. A confident person is a “proud to be me” kind of individual and always takes care of herself and the people she loves. She always surrounds herself with positive and uplifting people who love her and steers clear of the negative people who want to bring her down.

A confident person sees beauty where a perfectionist only sees flaws. She sees opportunity where a perfectionist sees strife and hard luck.

When I was young, I was a perfectionist. Why? Because I was a beaten down and very negative person who couldn’t see the forest for the trees and I felt I had to be A-1 best before people would like me. I had yet to realize that all I ever had to be was my natural, authentic self.

Changing your perspective for the better.

When I began to love myself, flaws, quirks and all, things began to change…and for the better. Now…I am a confident and happy woman. I am at peace and comfortable in my own skin. Everywhere I look there is opportunity. Everywhere I look, there is beauty…because I look for it. I love myself and the people around me.

There’s no benefit to being a perfectionist, you only end up working too hard to meet standards which are more than likely impossible to meet, spinning your wheels and getting nowhere. Also, you end up failing miserably and in the process, looking like a try-hard.

true freedom.

Confidence, on the other hand is FREEING and it allows you to be you without fear. It also brings patience, faith and positive self-awareness. Instead of spinning your wheels, you move slowly, steadily and PATIENTLY toward your goals, step by step, until you eventually reach them, therefore reaching success!

Therefore, stop being a perfectionist because you only keep yourself in bondage. Free yourself by becoming confident, even if you must recite positive affirmations to yourself every day. In other words, accept your quirks and flaws. Allow yourself to make mistakes. Accept that there will be bullies, haters, and naysayers who will always have something to say and be okay with it. In a nutshell, be yourself and do your thing. Only then will you be truly at peace.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

13 Secrets to Unlock Your Social Potential

6 Comments

woman crowd-surfing

Close to ninety percent of our language is nonverbal. In other words, body language (actions) speaks louder than words ever will. All too often, when bullies have attacked you for an extended period, your self-esteem and mental health suffer. Even worse, people will see it through your everyday body language, and you won’t realize it’s happening.

Consequently, most targets only attract more bullies and bullying because their body language changes with time as they endure daily abuse. The target’s body language will transform from confident to diffident– meaning lack of confidence. This is the reason many targets have few friends.

Why do most targets of bullying have difficulty making friends?

This is because, others can spot insecurity a mile away, which makes it difficult to attract healthy people into your life. You’ll only attract users and more abusers. Why? Because, as a matter of human nature, healthy and secure people stay away from people who give off signals of low self-esteem and depression. On the other hand, you’ll attract predators- people who fake a friendship to either exert control over your life or to get something from you.

Moreover, nonverbal signals, such as lack of eye contact, looking down, fake smiles and closed body language make the target appear unapproachable.

It’s not your fault.

Naturally, this is not the target’s fault. It is just something that happens after a person has endured abuse for so long. However, confident body language is something that you can learn, even teach yourself, and practice. And once you perfect it, you will instantly attract faithful friends and better people into your life.

Here are 11 powerful tricks you can use to instantly win friends:

  1. Smile! And smile genuinely!

Smiling at people shows that you approve of them and are open to friendships. It also conveys confidence and confidence is where it’s at! However, a fake smile is easy to spot and a major turn-off. It only repels people, or worse, invites more bullying. Fake smiles only hurt more than help.

  1. Make good eye contact.

When you make good eye contact, you show others that you genuinely respect and are interested in them. People love those who take an interest in them. Therefore, when you’re engaged in conversation with someone, look them in the eye. Just don’t overdo it or you’ll seem creepy. Just find that happy middle.

  1. Stand up straight.

Bad posture, such as slouching and hunching only conveys insecurity and low self-esteem. So, stand up straight and walk with purpose. Also, throw in a few power poses when you stand- feet shoulder-width apart and with your hands on your hips with your thumbs on the front of your waist. This also signals confidence. Also, it can keep bullies away because when a bully sees someone do this, they think twice before messing with the person. Why? Because their body language is signaling confidence and, more importantly, power! And if there’s one thing bullies understand, it is power!

  1. Practice open body language.

This will instantly make you more approachable. Put simpler, open body language means keeping facing the people you talk to and keeping your whole body turned toward them. When you do this, you’re signaling that you’re interested in what the other person has to say.

  1. Slightly lean in when you talk to someone.

Again, this shows that you are fully engaged and interested in what the other person is saying. However, only do it slightly to avoid invading your interlocutor’s personal space. Make sure to do this properly and you will build rapport with the people you speak to. Also, they will be more likely to trust you.

  1. Nod when you agree with the person you’re talking to.

Nodding not only shows that you are listening and fully engaged. Also, it conveys understanding and agreement. Nodding is a very powerful form of communication and often gets amazing social results!

  1. Use hand gestures when you speak.

Using hand gestures can help you to think and express your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Moreover, it conveys understanding, energy and warmness.

  1. Relax.

If you want people to feel at ease around you, relax when you’re having a conversation with them. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who seems nervous and tense. It weirds people out big time! Therefore, always relax around others. Having body language that is relaxed conveys that you’re comfortable and confident with yourself and in turn, others will be comfortable and confident with you.

  1. Put away your phone.

There is nothing worse than talking to someone who has their face in their phone, texting. It conveys that they’re more interested in what’s on their screen and not what you have to say. It is downright rude and disrespectful. So, lose the phone when you’re in conversation with someone. It’s just good social etiquette.

Two silly friends

  1. Be aware of where your toes are pointed.

If you’re in a conversation with someone and your toes aren’t pointed toward them, it only conveys that you don’t want to be with the person and want to go elsewhere. Now, some people don’t think about the feet but those who are the most aware of body language cues will. Therefore, always stand with your feet and toes pointed toward the person you’re talking to. It signals that you want to move toward them, that you’re happy to see them and speak with them.

  1. Make sure your body language is congruent with your words.

This is so important! If you’re saying one thing and your body language doesn’t match, you will come off to others as fake and insincere. As a result, they won’t take you seriously and will be repelled by you. Nobody likes fake. So, more than anything else, be sure that your nonverbal cue are in line with your verbal ones.

12. Practice the art of small talk.

Talking about the weather, which team won the Super Bowl, your favorite rock bands, or  current news is considered small talk. In other words, never talk to potential friends about anything deep. Save that for later… much later! If you’re looking to make new friends, keep conversations light until after the friendship grows significantly.

13. Establish common ground.

Friendships come a lot easier with those we have something in common with. Find the people you have something in common with, such as other targets of bullying, and band with them. I guarantee that this works like a charm!

When you begin practicing these techniques, they may feel weird at first. However, don’t quit. Practice good verbal and nonverbal communication every day until they become second nature. Also remember that although words are important, others pay more attention to your body language than your words. So, improve them both, then, watch the magic unfold as people instantly become warmer and more receptive toward you. And you will make terrific friends in the process.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

7 Powerful Ways to Spy Lies Bullies Tell

4 Comments

Have you ever wondered if someone was telling the truth (or not)? Before I go any further, it should go without saying that we should only trust bullies as far as we can throw them. In other words, we trust them at our own risk.

However, there are many great actors in the world these days- people we think are friends but are only the opposite. Therefore, sometimes, it’s difficult to spot it when someone is deceiving us.

So, how do we spy the lies? We do it by watching the person’s body language. What are the “tells” that the body gives away when someone is lying? Here are 4 powerful ways to spy lies bullies tell:

  1. The Eyes.

The liar may have shifty eyes, or they may avoid eye-contact altogether.

  1. The Body.

The deceitful person may fidget continuously. He can’t help it!

  1. Voice.

The faker may clear his/her throat.

  1. Vagueness.

The person telling the falsehood may be vague in their story, leaving out crucial details.

  1. pauses (especially after you ask a question).

The person may have to think before speaking. In other words, they have to think up a lie to cover the last lie they told.

  1. The Arms.

The liar may keep his arms still. Stillness is their way of avoiding giving off any tells.

  1. Answering questions.

They always respond to questions with questions. Why? Because they can’t find an answer that sounds good. Or they’re afraid that any answer they give will be another tell.

Understand that, mentally, it takes more work to lie than to tell the truth. People who lie have to study others carefully to make sure they respond the way that they want. Liars worry about how believable their stores sound. Therefore, they must work, and work damn hard, to appear credible to their associates.

Watch the body of the person closely. If you spot one or more of the above signs, you have then, most likely, spied the lie. Also, most importantly, you must document the bullying you suffer and document every instance of it.

And lastly, watch bullies show their true colors when you or someone else calls them on their BS. That will be the most obvious tell!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Fall in Love With Yourself First!

2 Comments

two fingers representing couple in love against red background

Females are hardwired to nurture, maintain, and enjoy relationships, And this is whether they be friendships, family, or romantic relationships. With teenagers, it is mostly about having close relationships with friends and romantic relationships.

Therefore, if a young girl isn’t getting those wants and needs met through peers at school or family at home, she may try a different route.

Sadly, some girls, particularly those who are targets of bullies, think that having a dating partner makes up for the lack of friends and positive relationships at school. I say this because, unfortunately, I was one of those girls with the same mindset. I leaned on dating and romance for comfort.

A Partner will Never Help You Achieve Wholeness

Being in a romantic relationship can feel like such a welcome change,. It’s like a soft pillow to land on during a fall. It can buffer the self-esteem from the bullying and take the sting out of the torment the target endures.

 

chain and heart-shaped padlocks representing love and romance

Having dating partners and suitors can act as a much-needed rebuttal to the daily degradation and humiliation you suffer daily. It provides assurance to the target that they are a great person and worthy of love and friendship no matter what. Affection from a partner can act as a testament to the targeted girl’s beauty and confirmation of her value.

Many of these girls look to a partner to rescue them. They see their partner as a refuge from a cold, cruel world that hates them. However, this is a very needy mentality and can backfire in the long run.

No One is Going to Rescue You.

During school, because I had no real friends, I turned to grown men of late teens and early twenties. Moreover, I did this to get the acceptance I wasn’t getting at school from people my age. Although I was gorgeous to look upon, bullies and their followers had destroyed my once-good name. With that, they also destroyed any prospects for dating and love among peers my age.

However, by dating guys who were already out of high school, I was able to get around my trashed reputation. As a result, I had an abundance of opportunities for romance. These college-aged men had never met me, nor were they aware of the falsehoods and labels tied to my name

I’m ashamed to say that, back then, I felt that my good looks and feminine wiles were the only things I had going for me, and often used them to get what I wanted. I thought I had to use trickery and charm to attain what most others seemed to come by easily and effortlessly. And thirty years ago, underage dating was more accepted than it is today.

I want you to understand that when a person is beaten down for so long, they grow afraid to ask for or pursue their wants and needs the right way. As a result, manipulation and deceit become a way of survival. Realize that this is a person who doesn’t need judgment; they get enough of that already. What they need is help . For bullied victims, partners are a proverbial band-aid to their feelings of hurt and inadequacy that come with the onslaught of bullies. Sexual partners and activity are a means to feel loved, wanted, sexy, and beautiful. And it works, if only temporarily.

Co-Dependency isn’t healthy

However, this is dangerous because it can easily lead to co-dependency. Relying on a dating partner for confirmation of worth is never good because the person eventually comes to believe that if he/she is not half of a couple, they are nothing and this kind of thinking is wrong.

encouragement

This mindset only sprouts desperation, and there is no dignity in being desperate for a partner. No one should ever see a romantic relationship as the end all be all. They should never look outside of themselves for happiness. Men and women come and go, and if the person continues to depend solely on them for their fulfillment, they’ll be in for a huge disappointment.

When someone looks solely to a partner to validate them, it’s a sign that the person doesn’t know their worth as a young lady or young man. Potential dates can sense this, and are either repelled or see them as someone they can use and degrade.

The person risks attracting a predatory partner of low integrity, one who will hang around as long as it takes to get what they want before dumping them and leaving them devastated. Also, people of quality and integrity do not want a partner they have to fix or rescue, and if they sniff out the slightest bit of neediness, they will disappear, and fast!

If you are a bullied girl or boy, I can’t stress enough how important it is to fall in love with yourself and with life before you fall in love with anyone else. Love should come from within and never from the outside. A relationship doesn’t complete you, and just because a person has sex with you doesn’t mean that they love you.

It’s Okay to Be Alone.

You are just as beautiful and whole without a partner as you are with one. Just because you’re dateless doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with you. Single doesn’t mean defective.

In the meantime, do plenty of deep soul searching and make positive affirmations daily. Count all your good qualities, talents, and gifts. Continuously remind yourself that you have value, and soon, you’ll start to believe it with your whole heart.

Be patient. Be careful of the choices you make. Know that the right person will come into your life when you least expect it, and you aren’t looking for them. And when they do, they’ll be well worth the wait.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

2 Powerful Defense Strategies Targets Use

6 Comments

Being a target can be a lonely and terrifying existence. Because of the intense hatred people spew daily, you walk on eggshells because you don’t know what the bullies and their minions will do next. They could physically hurt you, or worse. Also, you feel desperate to correct what is wrong, but you have no clue what it is.

So many targets can relate. With that said, I want to tell you that if you are or have been a target of school bullies, you are not alone, and you will eventually overcome your tormentors just like I did.

So, what are two lesser-known defense strategies targets use?

1. They Dress up for school or work.

To keep their self-esteem from completely tanking, they may dress in flashy clothes, desiring to look like a million bucks for school or work. Clothes from Walmart just aren’t good enough for these targets. They feel they must shop at Maurice’s, or maybe even Nordstrom in order to feel good about themselves. And if they don’t dress to the nines at school, they feel less than. They also resort to this to alleviate some of the shame they feel.

Not that dressing snazzy is a bad thing. It isn’t. However, the reason these target do it is because they’re insecure inside and the clothes help to remedy that insecurity.

This has a lot to do with how poorly people have treated them. So, they then dress even better, only for the bullies and the rest of the student body or coworkers to label them “a poser.” However, the nice clothes and knowing that you look damn good has a way of buffering your self-esteem when bullies go on the attack..

Targets also feel that their attire provides them a sense of not only style but control.

2. They act stuck-up and conceited.

Put plainly, targets may think to themselves or even say out loud, “I don’t care what they say. I’m awesome. They’re just too jealous to admit it.”

Does this sound arrogant? Conceited? Maybe. Does this sound downright narcissistic? Perhaps. Is it the right attitude to have? Both yes and no. Sometimes, a good defense is for the target to act conceited and like they just don’t need any of them.

In other words, their holier-than-thou attitude, however unattractive it might be, helps targets to preserve what little self-esteem and dignity they have left. It helps them to keep going when things were at their worst. Most importantly, it helps them to keep from being totally brainwashed and reprogrammed by evil bullies who would love nothing more than to destroy not only their bodies, and prospects, but also their minds.

A defense Mechanism to keep people away.

Targets may walk around with their noses in the air and refused to speak. Also, they may have a sassy and smart-alicky attitude. Moreover, I say this from experience. I was extremely sarcastic and had a snotty disposition. I even laughed at and bullied others to grab back some power. My attitude stunk – period.

Again, it’s the only way some targets know to stay strong and and maintain a little bit of poise.

Although, it’s only a self-protective behavior, the downside to this is that this attitude can easily get targets hurt or worse. It can also drive away people who otherwise could and would be great friends and allies. Nobody wants to put themselves at risk of being rejected, even people who aren’t targets of bullying. I don’t recommend you bully others like I did. However, if people are bullying you, you have every right not to speak to them and to hold your head high. Just be aware of the circumstances first.

Some targets of bullying can be really sarcastic. This sarcasm gives them a sense of power. In fact, it’s how they survive. But understand that this reaction to others is only out of fear and it’s no way to live. Therefore, I cannot stress enough that, if you’re a target of bullying, don’t let it change your overall attitude for the worse.  Pick and choose the times and people you show your snarky attitude to. Sometimes, it can be socially powerful, but at other times, it can get you into serious trouble.

What are your thoughts? Please feel free to comment on your experiences and what you did to cope.

Are They Intimidating or Intimidated?

8 Comments

angry woman pointing at camera

There are always motives and emotions behind the attacks of every bully.

Have you ever wondered why bullies are so aggressive with you when they could care less about you? You understand that when someone doesn’t care a lick about you, they show no emotion, positive or negative. In other words, they’re indifferent.

However, when the bully is aggressive, it shows that they are bothered by something about you, whether it’s something you said, did, or conveyed. It could be your very presence that might bother the person.

Whatever the case may be, that something about you is motivating the attacks and aggression. But realize this, it’s not that they care one iota about you. What they do care about, however, is the possibility of your taking your power back from them and becoming independent of their thoughts and opinions of you.

Here are 3 motives and emotions behind a bully’s attacks.

1.Fear

Bullies fear losing power over you. Whether it’s physical attacks or smearing and trying to cancel you, every bit of it is only proof that they feel threatened. Moreover, your bullies feel that they’re losing the battle for power or are about to lose. Therefore, they double down on attacking you to reinforce their power over you and keep you under their thumb. This often comes in the form of retaliation because you stood up to them and defended yourself. And the only way to discourage you from fighting back is to retaliate with greater force.

Why? Because if you stand your ground and begin refusing their attempts to walk on you. You just might start a huge trend and inspire others to do the same, causing the bullies to lose respect, status, and authority (power).

2. Resentment and Revenge

Again. When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, bullies will often retaliate. And they do it not only to subdue you and keep you under their power, but they also do it out of revenge. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

3. Deception

Bullies have an image to keep up and they want to look tough. In other words, the bullies are trying like the devil to cover up the fact that you’re winning the power war against them. Think about it. If you were truly losing, they would act indifferent toward you. Your bullies wouldn’t need to become aggressive and go on the attack because you would be no threat to them nor the image they portray in public.

Therefore, they wouldn’t give you the time of day. Bullies, particularly the narcissistic type, always discard those they deem to be losers. On the other hand, threats must be contained. Those they see as threats are a lot of hard work for bullies. They require many attacks for the bullies to restore their power, be that power image, social status, or even physical status.

So, if a bully is incessantly attacking you, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you and it isn’t because you’re weak. It’s because you somehow pose a threat to them, and that threat may or may not be so obvious. It may be very subtle. For example, the bully may pick up on something that isn’t so visible, maybe an inner strength you have that they can’t quite put their finger on.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

5 Body Language Mistakes You Should Avoid

9 Comments

Bullies are always on the hunt for targets. Therefore, they look for signs in a target person that screams “victim.” Bullies will study their quarry’s body language first and foremost. They also note their emotional reactions to certain stimuli. In other words, they watch how the person handles conflict and adversity. But first things first. Let’s talk about body language, particularly, body language you should always avoid and ways to correct it.

1. Lack of Eye-contact (Looking down or away)

Lack of eye-contact signals either dishonesty, or a lack of confidence, which is exactly what bullies look for.

Many targets get nervous in social situations, which is understandable. When people have bullied a person for long enough, that person no longer feels safe in social interactions and will often avoid them altogether.

A little nervousness is normal. However, when you’re nervous to the point of avoiding eye-contact with others, bullies may notice and peg you for a victim. Also, even people who aren’t necessarily bullies may mistake you for being deceptive.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to relax and look others in the eye when socializing. Realize that not everything is about you. Make the interaction about the other person or people in the conversation. Smile. Act confident.

Yes, acting confident may seem fake. However, personal experience has taught me that if you act confident, you will soon feel confident. And confidence is the best way to get through any social situation. Also, it lessens your chances of attracting bullies.

2. submissive body language

This includes poor posture, such as slouching and hunching down. Also, people-pleasing is another form of submission. Behaviors such as shying away from saying what you want to say and not seeking to achieve your needs are forms of people-pleasing.

You must stop this behavior right now. Begin standing and sitting up straight. Stop trying to please other people and instead, start achieving your own needs for a change. Remember that you deserve, just as much as the next person, to have your needs and wants met. Start working toward your own goals.

3. self-protective behaviors (closed body-language)

Crossing of the arms in front of you, crossing your legs, and hunkering down into the shoulders and hiding the neck are all self-protective behaviors. Bullies will instantly notice this behavior from a mile away and think, “fresh meat!” when they see it.

Instead, open up and allow yourself to take up some space. Lengthen your neck and hold your head high. Relax. Always relax!

4. Having a Sheepish Look On Your Face

That includes downcast eyes, holding your head down, and looking bashful. Again, hold your head high. Look people in the eye and smile. I guarantee you they will appreciate it when you do and think more highly of you.

5. trying to stay motionless to avoid drawing attention

This almost always gets you opposite results. Staying motionless won’t keep you from drawing attention. It just might get you the wrong attention- from bullies. You must move freely and I’m going to say it again… relax!

In closing, you must watch your body language if you don’t want bullies to spot you as a potential target, it’s imperative that you watch your body language. In other words, if you catch yourself looking down, correct this by looking people in the eye or looking ahead. If it’s slouching you find yourself doing, sit up straight. And keep doing this until it becomes second nature, no matter how long it takes. Because body language speaks louder than words ever will. Not only should you mind your own body language, you should also watch the bullies’ nonverbal cues as well.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

You Know Bullying When You Feel It

4 Comments

dreamstime_s_93685680

One of the saddest things about bullying is the confusion it often brings. Many targets of bullying are confused and misled as to whether or not they are legitimately being bullied or only being paranoid.

Oftentimes, when an individual defends themselves against a bully, others may gaslight the person by either trivializing the bullying or dismissing it. They tell the target that “it’s only in your mind” or “you’re just being paranoid”. Half the time, people convince the target of the above statements, which only forces him to endure the torment in silence. Bullying cannot thrive without silence.

Bullying Cannot Thrive Without Silence

Therefore, the bully is let off the hook and is free to target the same individual again in the future. The bully gets the message loud and clear that it’s okay to target this person simply because they can – and with impunity.

After so long, the target begins to feel as if it is somehow wrong to report and stand up to bullies. the person then questions their own sanity, thinking, “Maybe it really is only in my mind.” and often grows silent for fear of being gaslighted and seen as “paranoid”, “crazy”, “overly sensitive” or other labels that undermine and steal their voice.

Bullying is Not Only In YOur Mind.

If you’re a target of these mind games, let me assure you: It’s NOT only in your imagination. You are not being overly sensitive. You are not being a wimp, wuss, crybaby, crazy or whatever else unsavory people may call you.

Always remember that bullies are very skilled and convincing liars. You always know when something does not feel good. Your brain and your gut always let you know when something isn’t right!

You can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you.

You can see and hear them talking through their teeth.

Also, you can hear the short and cold tone in their voices.

You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude.

This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people, pronto!

Defending their rights concept

Anyone who causes you to feel bad does not deserve the time of day from you.

It does not matter if they are rich, smart, good looking, popular, successful, cool or tough. If they cause you to feel less than, ditch them! Weed. Them. Out! They are not worthy of even being in your presence. Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological. Also, never allow anyone to silence you. Speak out! Refuse their gaslighting.

Self awareness is key, as is awareness of everyone and everything around you. Setting boundaries is equally important. You must get to know yourself. Listen to your body and the sensations you feel.

It is imperative that you get absolutely clear on what you will and will not accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Difference Between Curiosity and Nosiness

2 Comments

My husband and I have discussed how people often confuse curiosity for nosiness.  We both agreed that the two are different after I told him how they differ. Soon afterward, this conversation gave me an idea for a future blog post. However, I forgot about it because I was swamped with household duties, yard work, and other priorities.

Next, a fellow blogger and wonderful friend, Kym Gordon Moore, posted about the subject on her own blog. You can find her lovely and insightful post here.

what is the difference between curiosity and nosiness?

Simple. Curiosity doesn’t violate anyone’s boundaries. Whereas, nosiness does. This was my response during the above-mentioned conversation with my husband. And I didn’t have to elaborate on it.

In the words of Kym Gordon Moore, “Being nosy is prying into other people’s business, meddling, being intrusive, and snooping, oftentimes gossiping about what they find out,”

“…curiosity is more of a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and not about poking your nose in other people’s business for annoying reasons.”

Her statements were spot on, and I couldn’t agree more!

What does a Nosy Person and a Curious person do differently?

A curious person doesn’t invade others’ privacy. A curious person is more interested in educational information. They want to know more about how things work than they do other people.

On the other hand, a nosy person will pry into your personal and private business, trying to get some dirt on you. It’s all for the purposes of spreading it to everyone later. These are people who will listen and ultimately, make you look like a scandalous person. Moreover, a nosy person will snoop through your mail, your computer- heck! If they can get access to all your social media passwords, don’t think they won’t go there too.

Understand that bullies are such people, and they will be the nosiest of the nosy. Why? Because they’re always and forever on the hunt for damaging information they can use against you.

Nosiness is invasive. If a nosy person asks you a personal question and you refuse to answer, they will accuse you of “having something to hide.”

nosy people will claim you have something to hide if you don’t give them answers.

Moreover, this is how bullies trick their targets. They will use the “having something to hide” line to coerce their targets into giving up the details. Moreover, many targets will feel compelled to give it up even if they know it’s better to keep it private!

When bullies make this accusation, targets will cave in and go against their better judgement. Some will answer the bullies’ questions, just to prove that they don’t have anything to hide. Consequently, they get themselves into trouble.

If you ever find yourself in this predicament, I want you to understand that your refusal to answer isn’t about having anything to hide. It’s about some things just not being anyone else’s business. Realize that you have just as much right to privacy as the next person.

Additionally, I want to mention that bullies will also accuse you of being nosy when you’re clearly trying to learn something new. This has happened to me and, being a young teenager, I fell for the lie and let it have a negative impact on my learning.

Responding to a Nosy Person

Close up of examining of test sample of microchip transistor under the microscope in laboratory.

Therefore, it’s so important to learn the difference between curiosity and nosiness. Knowing this difference will make you able to counter busybodies with confidence. Also, you’ll be able to confidently defend yourself any time some snake accuses you of being nosy when you’re only trying to learn and educate yourself.

So, in closing, I’ll again give you the short and easily digestible explanations of curiosity and nosiness.

Curiosity- a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and broaden one’s education. It includes reading, researching, studying, observing, and listening for information that can make you more intelligent and help you grow. Curiosity is non-invasive and non-intrusive. It does not seek to violate personal boundaries or to cause harm.

Nosiness- prying in other people’s personal business. It includes meddling, snooping, asking personal questions, and eavesdropping on other people. Nosiness is invasive and intrusive. It seeks to violate another’s personal boundaries and to cause harm to them.

Learn these differences by heart and you will be better able to counter bullies in any of the above-mentioned scenarios.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Know the Body Language of Targets

3 Comments

Bullies bully many of their targets long term, most over a period of years. Imagine what that does to the targets’ confidence and self-esteem. And sadly, it comes out in the targets’ body language.

Therefore, many targets of bullying are very nervous people, especially in social situations. And why not? Bullies have beaten them down- stripped them of their confidence, vibrance, their entire personhood. Is it any wonder they’re constantly walking on eggshells and monitoring every action and every word that comes out of their mouths?

It’s a crappy way to live when you’re always on guard.

Are they nervous and afraid or are they lying?

Consequently, many targets of bullying get accused by authority of lying about the bullying they suffer. Why? Because people all too often mistake nervousness and anxiousness for deception. If you’ve ever read “Othello,” by William Shakespeare, you’ll get a clearer picture of this heartbreaking scenario.

Many targets are often afraid to even look people in the eye, especially those with Asperger’s and on the Autism Spectrum. And being bullied to the point of lacking eye contact is a terrible thing. Although bad eye contact or complete lack of can, in fact signal deception, it’s usually not the case with targets. When a person is suffering from bullying or any type of abuse, it usually conveys nervousness and terror.

Therefore, we must look at context. Have we witnessed others consistently bullying and abusing the target? It’s too easy to confuse fear with deception if we aren’t careful.

Other signals of nervousness and fear are shaking, sweating, lip-licking and touching the face and neck. Again, targets of bullying are anxious. Who wouldn’t be if they were relentlessly bullied?

Before we make the snap judgement that the target is lying or has something to hide, we should always look for other nonverbals that go with it. Moreover, we must look at context- the circumstances in which the nervousness comes about.

Submissive Body Language

Many targets of bullying also display submissive body language. No surprise there. They have encountered bullies who have abused them so badly and for so long that they feel helpless. They bullying these targets have endured has rendered them powerless.

Therefore, these poor souls tend to be overly forgiving. They want to stay as far away from conflict or criticism as humanly possible because they already get enough of it in their bullying environments, be it at school, work, or home.

These targets will usually have a sheepish look on their faces. They also stay motionless to keep from drawing attention to themselves. Moreover, they tend to hold their heads down and look down all the time.

Protective Behaviors

Targets of bullying often have closed body language, such as crossing the arms in front of them crossing their legs or hunkering down into the shoulders and hiding the neck. This signals self-protection. Another thing they do is display bad posture by slouching.

This body language that targets display is so easy to spot, yet most people in authority either ignore it or don’t consider it. Worse even, it attracts bullies, users, and abusers!

Bullies can read this body language from a mile away and they will instantly think, “target!” and take full advantage.

It won’t be easy. However, if you’re a target of bullying, it is imperative that you watch your body language. And if you catch yourself displaying any of the above nonverbal cues, you must do your best to correct it.

How do You Stop Looking Like a Target?

When you catch yourself slouching, sit or stand up straight. If you see that you’re looking down, hold your head up and look ahead. Uncross your arms and legs, start making eye contact with people, and stop being overly forgiving. The last thing you want is to continue looking like bully-bait.

Begin seeing your worth and setting boundaries. Lose the sheepish look and replace it with the look of confidence.

Do these things and there’s a strong chance that your situation will improve drastically! And if you’re having difficultly, here are more ways you can buffer your self-esteem.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

3 Motives Behind a Bully’s Attacks

Leave a comment
Behind every bully’s attacks is a motive.

Have you ever wondered why bullies are so aggressive with you when they could care less about you? You understand that when someone doesn’t care a lick about you, they show no emotion, positive or negative. In other words, they’re indifferent.

However, when the bully is aggressive, it shows that they are bothered by something about you. It could be something you said, did, or conveyed through body language. It could even be your very presence that might bother the person.

Whatever the case may be, that something about you is motivating the attacks and aggression. But realize this, it’s not that they care one iota about you. What they do care about, however, is the possibility of your taking your power back from them. You becoming independent of their thoughts and opinions of you is the last thing your bullies want.

Here are 3 motives and emotions behind a bully’s attacks.

  1. Fear.

Bullies fear losing power over you. Whether it’s physical attacks or smearing and trying to cancel you, every bit of it is only proof that they feel threatened. Moreover, your bullies feel that they’re losing the battle for power or are about to lose. Therefore, they double down on attacking you to reinforce their power over you and keep you under their thumb. This often comes in the form of retaliation because you stood up to them and defended yourself. And the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force. 

Why? Because if you stand your ground and begin refusing their attempts to walk on you, you just might start a huge trend and inspire others to do the same, causing the bullies to lose  all respect, status, and authority (power).

  1. Resentment and Revenge.

Again. When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, you only make them look (and feel) like punks, especially if you do it in front of an audience. It is for this reason that bullies will often retaliate. And they do it not only to subdue you and keep you under their power, or to save their “tough” reputations, but they also do it out of revenge. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

lies, liar, woman whose nose has grown long

  1. Deception.

Bullies have an image to keep up and they want to look tough. In other words, the bullies are trying like the devil to cover up the fact that you’re winning the power war against them. Think about it. If you were truly losing, they would act indifferent toward you. Your bullies wouldn’t need to become aggressive. It wouldn’t be necessary to go on the attack because you would be no threat to them nor the image they portray in public.

Therefore, they wouldn’t give you the time of day. Bullies, particularly the narcissistic type, always discard those they deem to be losers. On the other hand, threats must be contained. Those they see as threats are a lot of hard work for bullies. They require many attacks for the bullies to restore their power, be that power image, social status, or even physical status.

So, if a bully is incessantly attacking you, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you and it isn’t because you’re weak. It’s because you somehow pose a threat to them, and that threat may or may not be so obvious. It may be very subtle. For example, the bully may pick up on something that isn’t so visible, maybe an inner strength you have that they can’t quite put their finger on.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Handling Gossips, Busybodies and Buttinskies

2 Comments

girl looking at her cellphone while her snooping friend looks over her shoulder

Whether it’s the nosy classmate who’s never short of personal and intimate questions about your private life, the workplace gossip who never shuts up and always seems to know your business before you do, or the spying neighbor across the street who forever peers through her window to spy on the neighbors outside, these kinds of people can be a real hemorrhoid to those of us who only want to be left alone and allowed to live our lives in peace.

Moreover, I even had one woman ask me how much I got paid and how much I paid in rent or mortgage? I know. The nerve! Right?

After the shock wore off, I politely told her that she was getting too personal. I also told her that I didn’t share such private information with anyone, not even my family members. Oooeee! She didn’t like it.

nosy detective looking over his newspaper at you, spying concept

These types often leave you shaking and scratching your head because you just can’t believe anyone would have the chutzpah. Especially if you were raised to mind your own business like I was.

Make no Mistake! Their end goal is power and control!

Understand that these people can be bullies too. Their gossip, butting-in, and having a constant nose stuck in your life can be a form of attempted control. Bullies will often ask you these kinds of questions to embarrass or humiliate you. Therefore, anybody who openly asks you such questions has no respect for your privacy, and you should deal with them accordingly.

However, because they can’t seem to control their own lives, they wish to control yours. And they do it for nothing more than to cause an annoyance or embarrassment.

nosy woman peering through the window blinds

Though the years, there was always that one neighbor who would sit on their porch all day. They would watch not only my house but the other houses in the neighborhood as well. So, on a good note, I can’t say that I was left out. As a matter of fact, I was in good company with most of the other neighbors in my community.

As a result, many of the others in the community weren’t short of complaints about the lady and we had a nickname for her- “Mrs. I-Spy.”

Nosy people are annoying to others.

Nevertheless, although I’d get annoyed by her a few times, I couldn’t get angry with her like many of the others. Mrs. I-Spy was disabled and could barely get around. All I could feel was bad for her because I knew she wasn’t a happy person. Who would be if their health were deteriorating to the point of barely able to perform activities of daily living? And home health was scarce back then.

eavesdropping businessman with huge ears

Also, on the days when she couldn’t get outside, she’d have her grandchildren watch the neighbors. The grands would then go back inside and give her a report of the goings-on in the others’ yards and the traffic in and out of their houses. It’s hilarious when I look back now.

busybodies do have their good points.

I can honestly say that if there were a burglary or trouble nearby, she’d have been the first to see it and call the cops. So, there’s a silver lining to all this. Thank God for nosy neighbors because they do serve a great purpose!

However, my classmates in high school, not so much. I had very little respect for them because most of them were nosy as hell! They would watch me closely and eavesdrop on any of my conversations. They always had an ear cocked. At Oakley High School, the walls had ears!

The walls have eyes, a brick wall with pairs of eyes

Always in my business, questioning me on things that were so trivial yet to them was a huge deal. They would even ask me the most personal and embarrassing questions.

“Have you started your period yet?”
“Are you a virgin?”
“How is your boyfriend in bed?”

some will ask you the most embarrassing questions.

These kinds of questions made me cringe! Naturally, it upset me back then and I’d only storm off. But if one of them had the audacity to do that today, I’d only laugh, make fun of and humiliate them. And I’d enjoy humiliating them.

nosy man with his ear to the wall listening in on the people in the next room

Today, I wish they would and give me the chance to show them I’m not as slow as I used to be and almost nothing shocks me anymore. Understand that when you’ve been bullied, you learn quick wit very quickly because it’s essential for survival. I’ve known other adult survivors of school bullying and we’re the most quick-witted people in the bunch! We have to be!

With that said, realize that even in the adult world, you’re going to have people who have more nerve than a bad tooth. There will be those who will pry into your business and openly ask you personal, even embarrassing questions. You might as well prepare for it now because they’re everywhere!

Nosy dog looking at you

Nosiness can run in families and be generational

Many of these people had parents who were the same way. They had mothers and grandmothers who would tell them to watch others and report back to them. I know this because of watching Mrs. I-Spy do the same many years ago. Therefore, it’s safe to say that nosiness is a generational thing with many. About ninety percent of my classmates also came from nosy and overbearing families. So did many coworkers I’ve worked with down through the years.

And it’s these kinds of people you should blow off and wave away like that pesky little fly that keeps buzzing around your face.

Don’t get angry with them. Just shake your head and pity them. Because it’s those types who really need to get a life and often don’t have one. Or, if you’re a smart-ass like I am, take the opportunity to have a little fun with the person. Just catch it, throw it back at them and shame them with it.

And why not? They asked for it.

With knowledge comes power!

Bullying and Freedom Cannot Coexist

Leave a comment

Two wooden men assaulting wooden woman

Bullying and personal freedom can never coexist. Why? Because bullying is zero sum. Always. When you suffer from bullying, it’s akin to people holding you hostage. In essence, they bind and gag you. In short, they take away your personal power! And without personal power, you have no freedom.

Either you’re free to be yourself, to speak your piece and to be safe and secure, or people bully you for daring to exercise those freedoms. You either have personal power or people bully you and take away your personal power. Either you’re free to be a human being, make mistakes, and more importantly, learn from those mistakes, or people bully you for it.

They brutally punish you for making mistakes that anyone else could’ve made. Moreover, someone else more than likely would have gotten the consideration that they’re only human and that all humans make mistakes.

big bully boy grabbing a smaller boy by the collar

Bullying takes away your humanity

For targets, however, there’s no margin for error. On the other hand, if you’re fortunate enough to be on equal footing with everyone else around you, you have that luxury. people will look at you and realize that we’re all imperfect humans. Therefore, they’ll cut you some slack.

Understand that bullying dehumanizes its targets- others either see you as a human being or they don’t. Bullying will strip the target of any shred of humanity and render him sub-human in the minds of not only bullies but, in many cases, bystanders.

Moreover, this process can happen quickly, in as little time as a few months. People bully you so frequently that bystanders grow and become desensitized to it. And why not. They watch them brutalize you every day, sometimes several times per day. And the reality is that no one likes nor has any respect for a victim.

Group of girls holding up hands with letters that read, "Stop Bullying"

In your mind, you may not be a victim but a target. And that’s a good thing. However, because others see you being disrespected and beat down all the time, they will view you as a victim. And most people don’t have the critical thinking skills to know the difference.

Therefore, you must document everything that happens and document it in detail. Or you must find a way to leave the bullying environment. Otherwise, if it goes on long enough, it will take a toll on your mental health. People such as these are dispensable, your mental health isn’t. Also, move to a new school if possible. Take steps to reclaim your freedom.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

What Babies Can Teach Us About Confidence

4 Comments

Babies are so adorable! They have that charm and innocence that no other age group has. They don’t worry about what others think of them and they never try to impress others. These little darlings display sweetness, purity, complete authenticity, and hearts of gold.

Babies have not a care in the world what people think of them. They have no inhibitions whatsoever. They’re not afraid to cry and express their wants and needs. You can see it in the way little toddlers shamelessly coo, laugh, babble, skip, run, and dance. And they’ll do it in front of anyone. These little sweeties are fearless. They’re not afraid to show their emotions, express their thoughts, show their creativity.

Furthermore, their precious little souls are completely open. They give, share, and receive love with an open and grateful heart. They love being loved and doted on and will receive it with a soft coo or laugh.

Everything starts with self-love and babies are a perfect example of it.

Sadly, as time passes and these babies grow bigger, the ways of people and the world slowly and incrementally taint their little hearts. Many grow up in toxic environments and with parents who excessively criticize and abuse them.

Therefore, they build a protective wall around themselves to try and keep the contamination out. Because family members and others discount, ridicule, even punish them for their feelings, they learn to mask those feelings. They collect emotional baggage as they become preschoolers, school-aged kids, then teenagers, and finally, adults.

Also, many are raised by drug-addicted, mentally ill, and neglectful adults and they build walls to protect themselves from that as well. Therefore, many must learn to raise themselves.

None of us have low self-esteem and lack of confidence at birth. Either ell-meaning family members who wish to keep us humble and sweet, instill those characteristics in us or bullies and abusers force-fed them to us.

Consequently, many adults will cause a baby to grow up thinking that they are unlovable. They don’t feel they deserve to have their wants and needs met. Thus, they grow up filled with either anger and self-loathing, or sadness and depression.

Life Has Ways of Eroding That Confidence and Goodness We Were Born With.

We all go through these terrible changes, even those who aren’t bullied. Only few people in this world manage to keep that confidence and joy they were born with. Furthermore, life’s disappointments, hurts, and heartaches have ways of doing these things to all of us. However, the worse changes happen to targets of bullying and abuse.

They stop expressing emotions and give up asking for anything. Why? Because sometime during their childhoods, other people conditioned them. They conditioned them to think that they’re self-centered and wrong for ever needing or wanting anything out of life.

Therefore, they resign themselves to the attitude that, things are “just the way they are” and that there’s nothing they can do to change anything.

Consequently, when you tell them about self-love and how important it is, they wince at the idea because it makes them uncomfortable. But, again, other people program them to think that self-love is somehow self-absorbed and evil. I can relate to this because, when I was thirteen and fourteen years old, I did the exact same when I was first told about the idea of self-love and self-care.

The thought of looking at myself in the mirror every day and telling myself “I love you” or “You’re beautiful,” “You’re Smart,” “You’re awesome,” etc., felt both weird. In fact, it felt downright sickening because I was under the impression that it was all a sign of sheer vanity.

It’s Sad When People Can Successfully Condition You to Believe that Self-love is Vanity

Self-love can feel downright painful after you’ve wasted years and decades hating and degrading yourself. After all, it’s not something you’re accustomed to practicing. Anything new and out of the ordinary feels painful at first. Like all things, it must first become a habit. And it can only become habit through rigorous learning and practice.

‘You see? My bullies and a few abusive others sold me on the idea that any form of self-care or self-love was abhorrent and self-serving. I was under the misguided belief that self-degradation and self-criticism was a virtue. It was a sign of being humble and meek. Therefore, I thought that was what normal people did, as I watched a few family members do the same thing.

Some of my family members still do this at times and it breaks my heart. If only they could see, I mean, truly see their value. . In my eyes, their worth is more than that of gold.

The truth is that self-hatred is the equivalent of having a millstone hung from your neck. You drag it around everywhere you go because it’s exhausting. Therefore, it zaps your energy. It takes the magic, wonder, and excitement from your life. And it keeps you stuck and worse, invites more disrespect and abuse from others.

Self-love doesn’t equal Vanity, It equals Virtue!

Self-love can only come from within, never from without. It doesn’t come from a partner, a spouse, or a boatload of friends. It can’t come from a banging body or fancy clothes, hairdos, or makeup. Money can’t buy self-love. Power doesn’t give it to you and neither does prestige. Self-love comes from the heart and only the heart.

Additionally, self-love is about self-acceptance and being perfectly okay with your imperfections. It comes from being comfortable in your own skin and not caring even the slightest what others think or say of you.

In order to find peace and joy in life, self-love is a must-have. It helps you to achieve your goals and realize your dreams and aspirations. It determines your outcomes- whether you succeed or fail. Also, it helps you to better re-frame bad situations and see them as learning experiences. Self-esteem and self-love give you peace of mind.

In a nutshell, self-love gives you complete freedom! It is the key to happiness and joy!

Don’t you think you deserve to be at peace with yourself? Don’t you think you deserve happiness and joy? I do.

So, be like a baby. Love yourself. Know that your true colors are vibrant and never be afraid to show them. Dance like you’ve never been ridiculed. And play like you’ve never fallen and scraped your knee. Express your emotions. Love, laugh, and live.

You’ll be surprised at how everything will change for the better! I promise!

With knowledge comes empowerment!