Why? Because the target’s judgement, decisions, and feelings are constantly attacked, negated, and condemned by others. When a target is bullied, they’re taught that, although the abuse they suffer is painful, they either shouldn’t feel, or they have no right to feel that pain because they’re to blame for the abuse they suffer.
Targets are conditioned by bullies, bystanders, even people in authority, friends, and family to just suck it up and negate their own painful feelings. In that, they’re trained either not to understand or to deny their own suffering and that bullies and others are abusing them.
Targets are trained to believe that other people’s vile behavior is their fault and that something is wrong with them, otherwise the bullying wouldn’t be happening to them. Targets are also snookered that everything that goes wrong is because of them. In short, they’re taught that the abuse they’re getting is somehow justified.
As a result, targets often withdraw because they become afraid that they’ll only attract bullies and bullying behavior from the people around them. As a result, targets are left feeling confused and inadequate.
Targets are made to think that:
They take things wrong.
They’re too sensitive.
They asked for it or had it coming.
There’s something wrong with the way they are.
There’s something wrong with the way they express themselves.
There’s something wrong with the way they come across to people.
Therefore, targets stop believing in themselves. Even worse, they lose trust in themselves, their abilities, and their capabilities. And once this happens, they become perfect victims for bullies.
Understand that targets suffer many attacks to not only their physical body, but also their psyche and their emotional being.
Even worse, their very souls are tired, their spirits broken, and they don’t understand their own pain nor why they feel it inside.
Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life, and for your life. And when I say fight for your life, this doesn’t only mean fighting to stay alive, although it can.
“The fight for your life” can mean fighting for your self- esteem. It can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence up and self-esteem from being broken so that the abuse doesn’t affect your grades, performance (at school or work), or worse, your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. You’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future. Most importantly, you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity.
Because you’re very much aware that if you allow these people to cause you to lose any of the above, then you unwittingly give them power over your entire life and every aspect of it. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live, you’ll only exist. And that’s no way to live!
No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on to everything mentioned above, or as much of it as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you and that there are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!
With knowledge comes empowerment!