Tag: bitterness

5 Reasons You Have Haters

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“Want to know 5 reasons you have haters? Here are the most common reasons why haters are always nipping at your heels. (Psst! It’s not you. It’s them.)

5 reasons you have haters

Haters live to spite you and cause you lots of stress. They love to see you fail and despise it when you score a win. Even the greatest have haters. Therefore, what if I told you that having haters can be a good thing and you could use it to your advantage?

Most victims of bullying see haters as a bad thing. In other words, they see them as a hindrance to their progress. However, they don’t have to be. It depends on how you look at it and how you use it.

In this post, you will learn the 5 reasons you have haters and why it can actually be a good thing.

Once you learn all about these nasty people and the real reasons they pray for your fall, you will feel so much better about yourself. Moreover, your loathers will no longer be so threatening to you. In fact, you may even come to enjoy watching their childishness to some degree.

This post is about the 5 reasons you have haters and why they aren’t as intimidating as you might think.

5 Reasons You have Haters

Many of the greatest, most tender-hearted, and level-headed people in the world have a pack of haters behind them. And many of them don’t understand why.

Moreover, down through the years, many of theses people have stopped and asked, “What did I ever do to them?” or “I know I’m not a bad person and I treat everyone how I would want to be treated. So, what is it that they (the haters) think is wrong with me?”

I’ve got to admit it. I asked the same questions many times when I was young and it happened to me. But here’s a little assurance.

First, if you are one of those good people who certain others hate on, it’s normal to ask the same questions and wonder why.

Secondly, let me tell you: You didn’t do anything to them. In fact, you did nothing wrong.

Thirdly, what they think is wrong with you doesn’t matter. Moreover, what they think period doesn’t matter.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. In other words, I want you to know that you’re okay. You’re enough. And you’re awesome just the way you are.

I know what you’re likely to say next and you’re probably thinking it now: “But there’s got to be some reason they hate me so much.”

And you’re right. There are many reasons your haters hate you. But those reasons have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

1. They don’t have a life.

Or they don’t have one that’s meaningful. Also, most haters aren’t what they appear to be. Many are life losers who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

So, they have nothing better to do than to hate on others. Many of these types of haters are broke, jobless, partner-less, and live in their mommy’s basement.

Only they would never in a million years tell you this. In fact, they’d go out of their way to keep that hidden because, if it ever got out, they’d lose face and, therefore, lose much of their power.

Bullying you is their power because they can’t get it any place else.

Therefore, to feel better about themselves, they’ll troll your social media pages, make incendiary comments, and post vile things about you. If they happen to be local to your area and you know them, they’ll talk trash about you behind your back.

Moreover, they smear and slander you, trying to kill your reputation, your opportunities and prospects. These types of haters are bored with life and the only entertainment and rush of endorphins they can get is to cause drama in other people’s lives.

Again, it’s the only source of power they have left.

Therefore, these are the types of people you should feel sorry for because they live truly miserable and pathetic lives. And the only way they can feel powerful is to ruin other people’s lives.

Sadly, we have so many people like that today, and many of them get involved in the cancel culture that’s so prevalent. Again, understand that this is a last-ditch effort for them to achieve power. Unfortunately for the rest of us, it seems to work for them.

2. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

They’re not happy in their lives.

This can go hand in hand with number 1. However, some people can have everything, a good job, a nice home, good family, and still not be happy. Therefore, what they lack is contentment.

Or, it could be that they aren’t happy with some things in their life. Whatever it may be, their attitude is this. If they can’t be happy, then by George, they’re going to make sure you’re not happy either.

In other words, they want to take away your peace of mind and bring you down to their level of misery. And you aren’t the only one. T

here are probably other people they do this to as well. Again, this person is a miserable individual and you shouldn’t hate them back, you should only pity them.

3. You have something they don’t have.

No one ever said life was fair. Some people can, and some can’t. Some have, and some don’t. It’s a hard part of reality that makes some people angry.

Why? Because they can’t seem to figure out how to obtain the things they want. So, they hate on anyone who has the things they (the haters) have been longing for and who has life a little easier than they do.

Moreover, this is probably the reason they don’t have the things they desire. They’re too busy focusing on what you have rather than focusing and working hard to attain those goals for themselves.

I know many lazy people who sit around wishing for things all the time. They don’t want to work for what they want, yet they get outraged at those who work hard and who end up achieving the things they (the haters) are wishing for.

The haters never stop to think that, if you want something, you must make it a goal. Moreover, you must focus on that goal and work hard, no matter how long it takes to attain it.

However, most haters either don’t want to work for what they want. And if they do work, they either make the wrong choices, or, sometimes, it’s just that life doesn’t work out how they want.

Nevertheless, hating only hurts them and not you. Why? Because you probably don’t know about it and if you do, you have the choice to not care.

4. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

Jealousy.

This goes back to you having something your haters don’t have.  Moreover, it goes back to those poor souls not being happy in their lives.

Whether it’s an admirable trait you may have, such as the ability to make friends easily, or how you look. They don’t want you to have it.

Your haters could be jealous of what you have, or your ability to be happy. They want to take it all from you because they don’t have it and don’t think they can ever get it.

Therefore, feel good about it. This isn’t to say that you should be buddies with them, but just feel good about yourself, knowing these people exist.

5. Your good qualities are a threat to them.

In other words, you make them look bad. You cause them to compare themselves with you and see you as competition.

And if they ever feel like you’re winning over them, look out!

Therefore, realize that you aren’t at fault here. It was nothing you said or did to ruffle their feathers and there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are enough. In fact, you are awesome! Your haters only say otherwise to mess with your mind and throw you off balance. Don’t let them do that to you!

Moreover, they want to rip your confidence and self-esteem to shreds because if they can’t have the very thing that they want that you were blessed with, they’ll go after something you have that they think is easier to take. And that’s your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, if your haters can’t rob you of the things you have and they wish they had, then they’ll rob you of your mental health. And they’ll attack your psychological well-being to balance and even the score a little.

This is how they operate. However, haters only win if you allow them to tear you down.

Haters can stress you out, yes. But they can also motivate you. So, be your best self and keep your haters blabbing. Think about it. Your haters are the ones who keep you relevant.

They’re your biggest fans, if you really think about it, because haters are the people who watch you the closest.

This post was all about the 5 reasons you have haters. It’s purpose is to make you feel better about having them because, if you have the power to make someone hate you without cause, then you’ve got some kind of power!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

2. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

Let’s Face It. Life Isn’t Fair (Part 2)

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Continued from part 1…

Let’s face it. Life isn’t fair.

Moreover, when you whine and complain, you only focus on the problem and not a possible solution. This is why others don’t like, nor do they respect a complainer. If you need to get something off your chest, fine, but still, there is a time and place for it.

Throughout my life, I’ve known such chronic complainers, that complaining seemed to be the default mode for them. They even whined after they found a solution to their problem. “But it didn’t happen fast enough!” they might have said. To that, I wanted to say, “Hey, buddy! Nothing good comes quickly nor easily! Life’s tough! Get used to it!”

I’ve even known whiners who really didn’t want a solution to their problems. They just wanted to gripe, thinking it would get rid of all that pinned-up energy and make them feel better. Sadly, I was guilty of these things when I was young.

whining and complaining always comes from powerlessness!

But understand that complaining comes from weakness. It stems from feelings of powerlessness and a victim-mentality. People who do this are only taking out all their anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing every once in a while. Even the most resilient vent every now and then. Everyone has times when they must blow off a little steam. However, when you do it every time something doesn’t go your way, or worse, you complain constantly, it becomes a problem.

The people around you will get sick of listening to it and after a while they will lose respect for you. Complaining also invites bullying to come your way because bullies will use it as a weapon against you. If you are a target of bullying, I want you to realize that whining about it, rather than taking action against it, will make you an even bigger target!

being a chronic complainer also stems from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Hey! I understand how you feel. You have every right to be angry. Being bullied sucks and it hurts. I get that. However, as I said earlier, complaining comes from powerlessness and weakness. Moreover, it comes from laziness and lack of personal responsibility. Complaining alone does nothing to solve the problem. You must also take action.

On the other hand, if you hear someone else constantly complaining and you’re an empath, it might be tempting to lend the person your ear. This is a bad idea because you’re not helping the person. You’re only enabling them to complain more and you’re setting yourself up to be their go-to person anytime they need to unload. As a result, the person won’t feel better. They’ll only drain your energy.

IF you’re a target of bullying, complaining without doing something about it will only alienate people who might otherwise help you.

Only victims complain, targets take action. You score more points by doing something about the bullying then you ever will by whining and complaining about it. When you’re a target of bullying and not a victim of it, you understand that life doesn’t have to be fair and that it isn’t. Also, you take action by standing up for yourself and/or reporting it. In that, you empower yourself and stand tall and strong.  If you have a problem, find solutions.

Instead of consistently whining and complaining, begin taking action. Empower yourself. Be your own hero!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Let’s face it. Life Isn’t Fair.

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It’s the truth. It never has been and never will be. Whether you’ve been mistreated and cheated, no one owes you anything. But you do owe it to yourself. And you have every right to pursue and achieve happiness and make a good life for yourself.

Let me repeat.

No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself.

God deals each of us a hand of cards. Some people get a crappy hand and some, a lucky hand. However, the trick is to play the hand you’re dealt and to play it wisely. Some people are born poor, some middle-class, and others are born rich. Some are born with disabilities and others aren’t. One person may have access to certain things and another person may not.

It’s the luck of the draw. Nevertheless, you have the choice of whether to move up, stay where you are, or descend. In other words, if you don’t like where you are, you have the ability to move upward. It may take a while. A ton of hard work may be required. But if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must do to achieve it. Complaining only keeps you stuck!

Only you are responsible for your life

Understand that nobody can achieve anything for you. It’s your responsibility to get where you want to go. Each of us has our own lives to improve and each person is responsible for their own destiny. Governments may try, but they can never legislate blessings, luck, and chance. And they cannot legislate fairness.

You only have yourself to depend on and you should never depend on the government, your school, your parents, anyone else to improve your life. You must do it on your own by taking risks and doing the work required to reach your goals. On the other hand, anger and bitterness only get you nowhere and so do whining and complaining.

Today, I hear more and more whining, “it’s not fair.” I see them act out and throw tantrums, as if its going to get them somewhere. Understand that this is victim-mentality and those kinds of thought processes only serve to keep you down and out.

empower yourself by ditching the word, “fair”

People need to man-up (or woman-up) and accept that the world isn’t all unicorns, rainbows, fairies, and pixie dust. In short, the world isn’t fair. Sadly, I see many targets of bullying do this, and, though I hate to admit it, I did the same once upon a time.

So, take back your happiness by banishing the word, “fair” from your vocabulary and working toward your goals. Stop depending on other people and entities to get you what you want and I guarantee that you’ll instantly be empowered and much happier.

(I’m explain more in Part 2)

“Who Do You Think You Are!”

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Have you ever had people seemingly mistake your confidence for conceit? Or worse, get offended by it? And you knew it but never understood why? Heaven forbid you actually have even a minuscule amount of self-esteem and take pride in your accomplishments.

Sadly, we live in a world that’s insecure, self-conscious, and unhappy and there will be people who resent your spirit and your happiness. There are environments that are very toxic and the toxic people within them have an intense hatred of those who are cheerful and have a strong sense of self.

Bullies are such people. But realize that, though they’d tell you differently, bullies aren’t happy people. They can’t be because anyone who’s truly happy wouldn’t try to make others feel lousy.

Moreover, they wouldn’t resent the happiness, confidence, or successes of others.

I’ve dealt with these types of people- people who resented my confidence, which was confidence that I’d worked hard to rebuild. I saw it written all over their faces- the scowls, how their eyes would narrow and turn into slits and brows would furrow anytime they saw a smile on mine or anyone else’s face. I can just imagine what they were thinking: “The nerve!”

I’ve even heard the disdainful remarks:

“She thinks too highly of herself and needs to be brought down a notch or two!”

“He’s an arrogant jerk!”

“She’s so uppity!”

“He loves himself too much!”

“She needs to bring herself down to earth with the rest of us!”

I could go on and on.

Many people act as if being confident and loving yourself is wrong. The message you get is that it’s “selfish,” and that you need to climb down off your high horse, or you’re too big for your britches. They try to make you think that having pride in yourself is something to be ashamed of. ”How dehhhhh you!”

Bullies tend to think that if a person has confidence and high self-esteem, he is pompous and sanctimonious- he’s the worst person in the world. In their minds, it’s horrible to have even a modicum of self-value and to believe in yourself. “Who do you think you are!”

As much as I hate to admit it, back when I was young and had self-esteem issues, I said the same thing about the same people. And do you know what else? I’ve since realized that I was wrong for it and that it was said out of pure stupidity.

So, I want you to know that, if you have the audacity to like yourself, there will be those who’ll try to tear you down for it. They will attempt to make you feel ashamed of it. Some will even punish you for it. But realize that these people aren’t happy, nor confident and they’re jealous of you because you are. Your bullies and others are bitter toward you because you have something they don’t have. And because they think they can’t have it, they want to take it from the people who do.

So, go for it! Be happy! Be confident! Believe in and love yourself! Treat yourself well whether anyone else likes it! And never let them take it away!

Don’t worry about the people around you. Know that how they act says nothing about you but everything about them. Their actions only expose them as the miserable, sorry pieces of crap they are. So, dig in those heels and double down on your positive sense of self.

Do everything you can to hold on to your joy and self-belief, and let the haters stew in their own juices.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

What’s the Difference between Bitterness and Acknowledgement of Past Victimization?

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Telling you to “get over it” is typical of bullies. The reason they tell you this is to shame and to silence you. In telling you to “let it go,” bullies make you out to be unstable or a drama-filled person who carries a grudge and can’t leave the past behind.

I don’t hate my classmates. I thank them. Because if it weren’t for my classmates, I might have never found my niche and the thing I enjoy doing the most. In their torment of me all those years ago, they inspired me to become a champion for the bullied, an author of 4 books, and a blogger whose niche is bullying. So, I thank them from the bottom of my heart. In truth, I can never thank them enough.

Here’s the thing. There’s a difference between holding a grudge and accepting that you suffered abuse. You can acknowledge what happened without holding onto bitterness and hate.

Grudges, bitterness, and hate – unhealthy

Grudges are unhealthy. A person who carries a grudge has anger, resentment, and hate boiling inside them and will often seek revenge. A grudge-holder handles any past victimhood he suffered in very destructive ways.

People who hold grudges only let the past hold them back from growing, from enjoying new friendships and relationships with others, and from success. Because a grudge holder carries so much anger and bitterness, they only repel people who would be potential friends and partners. They only attract more negativity and adversity into their lives.

Acknowledgment of Past Victimization – healthy

On the other hand, acknowledging or accepting prior victimization and how it hurt you is one of the healthiest things you can do. The person who does this doesn’t hold a grudge and doesn’t hate the people who abused her. She only feels sorry for them.

Survivors who accept the past realize that there can be valuable lessons learned from being a past target of bullying and abuse and often use it as their rocket fuel. Like I have done, they do years of research into bullying and into bullies’ mindsets and the victims they select. They consistently search for answers as to why bullies bully, what bullies look for in victims, and much, much more.

They then speak out about their experiences and the pain they suffered to bring awareness to the world- consciousness that, yes, such evil does exist. A former victim who accepts the past freely talks of and spreads awareness of bullying and abuse only grows and acquires wisdom. She then uses that wisdom to reach out to others who endure the same or prevent others from experiencing the same pain.

You would be surprised how rewarding this is to a survivor. Through using past pain for good, many survivors have achieved healing and gotten closure. Also, these people often make fulfilling and life-long friendships and connections through their work toward their cause.

Expect your old tormentors to come for you if you raise awareness.

Sadly though, it’s easy to get these two things confused. Former classmates from school have accused me of being bitter and full of hate. They have blasted me for having the gall to speak out and write about the brutality and the vile and downright devilish behavior they displayed years ago. Luckily, I see right through them.

‘You see? Even years after the fact, abusers despise it when you take the pain they caused you in the past and turn it into something that can help people. And when you take something that was meant to defeat you and turn it into something that helps others and only makes you stronger, oh man, do they hate that!

All that time, they tried to tear you down! All that combined effort! And still! You didn’t drown! You only took it and turned it into something positive, and all that work they put forth to bury you ended up wasted! Understand that bullies become furious when they realize they weren’t able to destroy you.

Anytime you speak out about any past abuse you suffered, it should be not only accepted but expected that your old tormentors will come for you, telling you to get over it. Not only are they angry at you because you didn’t crash and burn, but they’re also very much afraid that you’ll expose them somehow or that you’ll succeed. Don’t take it personally.

Instead, take it as confirmation of their guilt- as proof that they were and still are the ones who have the problem. When old bullies bash you for speaking out, they only out themselves. Don’t let them silence you, nor allow them to stop you from reaching out to those who need to hear your story because you might end up saving a life!

Turn your pain into power! Be a friend and advocate for the bullied!

With knowledge comes empowerment!