Tag: bad reputation

Humiliation Bullying: 5 Examples of It and Why It’s So Devastating

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‘Want to know about humiliation bullying? Here’s why bullies try to humiliate you and why humiliation is so dangerous.

humiliation bullying

This type of bullying can be one of the worst types. Humiliation is the type of bullying that can leave scars that never go away.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about humiliation bullying, why bullies prefer it, and what it can do to you if it happens to you.

Once you learn about this type of bullying, you will be able to better avoid it and protect yourself against it.

This post is all about humiliation bullying so that you will know more about it and be able to protect yourself from it.

Humiliation bullying

Humiliation, unlike embarrassment or shame, leaves a mark on you when you suffer it. Moreover, the stigma that surrounds you can follow you for the rest of your life.

Why? Because people who’ve been publicly humiliated are always remembered for their humiliation.

Think, Harvey Weinstein and the sex scandals that broke a few years ago.
Harvey deserved the humiliation he suffered. We’re all sure of that. Anyone who uses dreams and ambitions to sexually exploit women need to be tarred, feathered, and paraded naked through the streets, in my opinion.

However, if you’re an innocent victim of bullying, you probably did nothing to deserve this kind of bullying. You probably never even saw it coming.

Bullies often humiliate innocent victims, putting them in uncomfortable and degrading positions.  All the while, others excitedly gather around to taunt and abuse them.

Through History

Humiliation has been used down through the ages. Tarring and feathering was a technique used in the Old West. It involved covering people with hot tar and feathers and parading them through the crowded streets on a horse-drawn cart.

Think of Chuck Connors’ character, Jason McCord, in the old western series, “Branded.”

To humiliate someone is to assert power over them by denying and destroying their dignity. Throughout history, humiliation has been the most common and effective means of punishment. Moreover, it has also been one of the most severe forms of abuse.

Humiliation bullying:

humiliation is worse THAN death.

It’s not the threat of imprisonment or even death that deters crime; it is the dread of humiliation.
People fear losing face worse than they do a violent death!

People use humiliation to maintain the social hierarchy. The threat of extreme embarrassment emphasizes that the group, as a whole, supersedes the individual.

Humiliation defuses any threat to a particular order. It protects the positions of those higher up on the social totem pole.

Think of today’s cancel culture.
In student hierarchies in schools, bullies at the top of the pecking order go to great lengths to protect their social status. Therefore, they will humiliate those who threaten their social standing.

At the same time, the other kids are forced to submit to different kinds of debasement. And it’s the same in the workplace.

Politicians also try to mortify their opponents.

Bullies use it as a weapon.

Anytime you defend yourself against bullying, your bullies will often use humiliation to retaliate and subdue you. For example, they may play cruel jokes and pranks on you.

They may even set you up to get in trouble with the staff. Moreover, they might subject you to a horrific beating in front of an audience.

Bullies at the top will also spread vicious rumors and lies about you

Humiliation Bullying Examples

1. Taking nude pictures of you without your knowledge.

For instance, your bullies may invade your privacy. They may catch you in the shower after gym class. And, without you knowing it, they may sneakily take nude videos of you, then post them online.

The next day, when you return to school, everyone in the hallway will be pointing and staring at you. Some may be looking at their phones and blushing with embarrassment. Others will be laughing at you.

You are at a loss as to why they’re doing this until your friend shows you the video. In shock and disbelief, you gasp. Then, you run out of the school in tears.

This is horrifying because, from now on. Others will associate this girl with what happened. In other words, they will always know her as the naked shower girl.

2. Undermining you at Work, in front of colleagues.

A coworker begins putting you down in front of others during the company meeting. They may loudly point out your mistakes on a project. Therefore, they cause everyone else in the meeting to doubt your competence on the job.

3. Recording you in the privacy of your bedroom.

For instance, you are a bullied girl and you’re undressing in the privacy of your bedroom. It’s dark outside. Although you have your curtains pulled, there’s still a crack that people can see through.

Your bullies hide just outside your bedroom window at night and take videos of you with their smartphones. They then send the video to other classmates.

And from there, it only spreads wider. Before you know it, people are referring to you as the girl who undresses in front of the window.

4. Humiliation Bullying:

A Girl lets her boyfriend talk her into sending him a nude selfie.

A boy asks his girlfriend to send him a picture of her… naked! She declines. However, the boy doesn’t give up. He continues to sweet-talk her for the next two weeks.

Each time the girl tells him that she isn’t comfortable taking nude pics of herself, the boy asks her why. So, she tells him that she’s afraid that the pictures might get out.

Then he tells her how much he loves her and that he would never let the photos of her get out. Also, he tells her that he just wants to be able to look at her naked anytime he feels down.

Finally, after he cajoles her for a few weeks, she gives in to his pleas. Against her better judgment, she takes a nude photo of herself while lying on her bed. Then she attaches the picture to a text message and hits the send button.

The boy keeps his promise. He keeps the nude selfie only on his phone. That is, until they break up six months later.

The breakup is nasty, and they part on bad terms. Therefore, he breaks his promise. He shares it on social media, and the photo goes viral!

First, her classmates see it. Then, the entire town. Finally, people of all ages know who this girl is. And they cruelly cyberbully her over the viral nude pic.

Sadly, this girl will never live it down. From here on, people will know her as the nudie pic girl!

If you don’t think this can happen to you, just Google Amanda Todd.

5. A bullied boy is spied on while using the restroom.

A targeted boy is standing in front of a urinal, using the bathroom. His bullies hide in the stall next to him, peering through the crack.

One of them pulls out a smartphone and begins taking videos of the boy’s manly areas. The bullies then share the video among themselves. they laugh and joke about how small and crooked the boy’s package is.

Maybe the bullied boy has a mole on his butt and they record and poke fun of that. Nevertheless, recording the boy and sharing the contents among their group isn’t enough.

So, they post it online. Before long, everyone in the entire town sees it and the boy becomes a laughing-stock.

Even worse, this will be something that others will always remember him by. This poor kid will always be known as the boy with the small package.

Why is humiliation bullying so devastating?

1. It usually involves THE invasion of privacy.

If bullies want to humiliate you, it almost always involves invading your privacy. This can be especially devastating because it causes anxiety.

2. The bully usually catches you during your most private and intimate moments.

In other words, you’re usually using the bathroom, bathing, dressing, or having sex when the bully catches you and records you. During these moments, we need our privacy to preserve our dignity.

And when someone violates that, it can erode your trust in others. And, from then on, you’ll constantly look over your shoulder to see who else may be watching you.

Humiliation is horrible for anyone. The reason that it’s so devastating is that it involves negative things that others will always associate you with. And there’s no getting away from it!

Embarrassment is only temporary. You trip and fall over a speed bump in the parking lot, and people may laugh about it. But they soon forget about it and move on with their lives.

However, humiliation can follow you for the rest of your life!

So, if you are a victim of bullying, protect yourself. Also, I cannot advise this enough! No matter how much your dating partner claims that they love you! Never let anyone talk you into sending a nude pic! Ever!

Because, sooner or later, they will post it online.

And if anyone ever films you in an indecent position without you knowing it, know that what they did is against the law! Speak out about it and file criminal charges! You can also file a civil suit for damages!

This post was all about humiliation bullying so that you know what it can do to you and find ways to protect yourself against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

2. Effects of Cyberbullying: 15 Negative Impacts on Victims

3. Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls

character vs reputation in the bible

Character vs Reputation: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Smear You

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‘Want to know the differences of character vs reputation? If people have bullied you and unjustly ruined your reputation, know that your reputation doesn’t equal your character. Here, we discuss in detail how the two differ and the tactics bullies use to mar your good name.

character vs reputation

“Your reputation is what others think of you; your character is what you truly are. Reputations can be manipulated; character can only be developed and maintained.”

~ Bohdi Sanders ~

All too often, when a person is bullied, their reputation takes a big hit due to the many ugly rumors and lies spread by their tormentors.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn character vs reputation and how they differ. Also, you will learn how bullies destroy the reputations of good people and how others come to believe the lies.

Once you learn all these bits of information, not only will you be able to see through the lies when they happen to yourself and others. But you will also learn what you must do to protect yourself against smear campaigns your bullies may launch against you.

This post is all about character vs reputation and what you can do to protect your good name.

Character vs reputation

Bullying is a campaign. Just as politicians go about kissing babies and shaking hands with people on the street, giving a spiel of why they’re the best person for the office they’re running for, bullies do the same.

They go from person to person spinning their yarn about why no one should associate with you and why you’re such a contemptible person.

Your bullies will engage everyone, even your friends and family, pulling false accusations out of thin air. Moreover, they make them sound so convincing that others find the lies difficult not to believe.

“Reputation is the cornerstone of power.” – Robert Greene

Bullies attack your reputation to strip you of power. Once your reputation is gone, you’re defenseless and extremely vulnerable to attack.

Therefore, bullies can freely attack you from all directions. Even worse, you’re at the mercy of virtually everyone around you.

You see? Bullies know that if they can poke holes in your reputation, they won’t have to work so hard to bring you down. Why? Because they’ll have public opinion on their side.

They can then stand back and watch with glee as widely held perceptions of you finish you off.

Why Bullies are successful in making people believe the lies.

1. The tiny grain of truth tactic.

Tormentors will use a tiny grain of truth about you. In other words, they may bring up a simple mistake you made in the past (possibly an error which anybody could have made at any time).

They then add their spin to it, making it worse and more significant to make the story even more believable.

2. Character vs Reputation:

The Baiting tactic.

Here’s a good example of the baiting tactic.

Harassers will use subtle provocations, taunts, and assaults to bait you into an emotional reaction. Once they get the reaction from you that they’re looking for, they’ll turn around and use your perfectly normal human response as further proof that you’re mentally imbalanced.

Moreover, even if you don’t give them the reaction they want, your bullies will only double down in their efforts to get you to snap. And sadly, after being attacked for so long, it’s too easy for you to become worn down.

 And once you become exhausted, you’re likely to go the “eye for an eye” route and return the attacks (physically or verbally). Although defending yourself is a perfectly reasonable response, bullies will use it as confirmation that you’re the bad guy.

Therefore, you must be cautious in your counter-attacks. Also, you must carefully choose your battles. Why? Because, again, a well-experienced bully can easily use any reactions to validate any rumors lies about you.

Before long, even those who aren’t necessarily bullies will also shun and brutalize you. This is a sign that your bullies have tarnished your reputation and sadly, a ruined reputation can take years to repair.

3. the use of charm and allure.

You must realize that bullies are sociopathic. They have a wealth of superficial charm at their disposal. Therefore, they are masters in the arts of persuasion and influence.

Also, most superficially charming people are very skilled wordsmiths. This is why they can pull a complete fabrication out of their butts and make it smell sweet and sound plausible.

Because of this oozing charm that most seasoned bullies possess, they can encourage bystanders and sometimes authority (teachers, principals, monitors, etc.) to join in the torment.

4. Character vs Reputation:

Smear campaigns.

How do Smear Campaigns work?

It always starts subtly.  Bullies begin the smear campaign by planting seeds of doubt about your character in the minds of others. Doubt is a powerful tool.

They may start rumors by dropping a suggestion. Moreover, all it takes is one little rumor- just one!

Next, the bullies use repetition. They repeat the same rumor over and over again until it sticks. And sadly, once enough people believe it, it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie.

In fact, by then, people will want to believe it.

And there’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

In other words, bullies ruin targets by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas. Next, they’ll fade into the background because they know that with everything put together, whatever lies they spread will stick.

They’ve done their part, and now they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the work for them. It’s that easy!

Stage 1 of the Smear Campaign.

The bullies provoke you. You blow them off for a while but the bullies are relentless. Therefore, they not only continue but escalate the harassment.

Finally, you get fed up with their crap and, out of exhaustion and emotion, tell them to go to hell in a hand basket. And there! The bullies get the reaction they’ve been waiting for.

Now, the smear campaign begins. Your bullies start by suggesting that you’d be better off if you got professional help, moved, etc . They will say that it’s for your own good to look as if they have genuine concern for you.

Next, they may drop an offhand comment here and another there. Understand that bullies need to slowly and ever-so-gradually ramp up the smears. Why? So, that what they’re doing doesn’t appear so obvious.

Character vs Reputation

In the beginning, you may have friends. Others may like or even love you. Moreover, they may try to support you and speak on your behalf.

However, that’s when the bullies will tell them, “Oh, no. There’s more to it than what he told you.”

Or, the bullies may lie to your friends by telling them that sometime in the past, you criticized them or stabbed them in the back.

Smear Campaign Stage 2.

Now it’s time for the bullies to stand back and let the old rumor mill do its handiwork. And, sure enough, the lies become the truth. People begin reporting things to the bullies and higher-ups in the social hierarchy.

Moreover, they make false statements and accuse you of wrongs you never committed.

And as the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they grow until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

You might say, “Aw, but they’re my friends. They’d never do that to me. They know I’m a good person, and I have a clean reputation. All I have to do is tell them my side of things, and this stuff will go away.”

However, you couldn’t be more wrong!

Character vs Reputation:

Smear Campaign stage 3.

Once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth.

Therefore, by the time the open bullying is underway, you no longer have a clean reputation.

Character vs reputation:

The results of a successful smear campaign.

Now, everyone thinks you never deserved any respect or friendship. The people around you also feel that the reason you were so well-liked is that you conned your way into their hearts.

They’ll say that you put on a front, and you only weaseled your way into everyone’s good graces. The bullies and their followers may even accuse you of being a kiss-ass.

Moreover, others will make your past wins, accomplishments, successes, or accolades irrelevant. They will also maximize your mistakes and failures and add many more you didn’t make.

In other words, they will rewrite your history.

If you’re on your best behavior and others see it with their own eyes, they’ll only accuse you of being a con artist. Also, any hard evidence of your successes, friendships- anything positive, they’ll chalk it up to you being a smooth-talker who’s good at using charm to manipulate others.

And the friends that your bullies turn against you? They’ll claim that they never liked you from the start. Moreover, they’ll swear up and down that they were only kind to you because they felt sorry for you, or because you conned them.

Your so-called friends will tell others, “who you really are.” They’ll claim that the bullies you bitched about were only reacting to your sneaky provocations.

Also, they’ll say that they only agreed with you about your bullies because you fooled them into it.

Telling your side of things will do no good because they’ll never believe it anyway. Your embittered friends “may have fallen for it at first,” but now they claim to “know better.”

I want you to understand that once people’s minds are already made up, there’s no changing it.

Character vs Reputation: Smear Campaign Stage 4

Stage 4 is the late stage. Therefore, in the late stages of a smear campaign, all bystanders will become willing co-conspirators.

Gossip will be everywhere. And it brings scandal, which means to assassinate the target’s character, integrity, mental fitness, and worth as a student, worker, neighbor, and human being.

Moreover, anyone who questions or disbelieves the lies will immediately become an object of bullying as well. Nobody wants to be isolated, so this forces others to stay in line with the running narrative.

And if the target attempts to defend himself or speak out against the abuse, it will be used against him.

Unfortunately, at this stage, the only way for the target to ensure his safety and escape the abuse is to leave the toxic environment and go to a new place where he can start anew, establish new connections, and reinvent himself.

Here’s an example:

Remember the character, Chris Chambers, in the movie “Stand by Me.” Although he was a great kid, he was considered a rogue and a thief.

Moreover, during the scene where he was crying to his friend, Gordy, telling him about how he got his bad name and wishing he could go somewhere where no one knew him.

During the conversation, the character of Chris Chambers, played by River Phoenix, tearfully tells Gordy that a member of staff took the lunch money out of the teal.  However, he got blamed for it solely because of his family name. It was heartbreaking to watch.

And sadly, that happens a lot. In a majority of cases, targets must leave the school, company, or community to heal and to rebuild their lives.

 Therefore, it’s best just to find a way to get out of the environment altogether and never look back. Moreover, never have anything to do with any of these people again.

You owe it to yourself to kick them all to the curb.

Character vs Reputation:

Focus on your character and not your reputation.

Know that reputation does not equal character. In other words, your reputation is not who you are. Hold on to your self-love because these people do not know you nor do they deserve to.

Know that once you’re free of these people, you can start again, making new friends in your new area. Moreover, these new friends will see the awesome you that people in the old town missed out on. And you will live in peace and be surrounded by love once again.

It happened for me and it can happen for you too.

This post was all about character vs Reputation and the tactics bullies use to destroy your good name. Also, it was about the process and stages of the smear campaign and what you can do to escape it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

2. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

3. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

5. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying