Tag: angry

Bullies with Anger Issues

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Many bullies have anger issues. If you’re a target of these types of bullies, I want to warn you that things can get dangerous very quickly. These overly aggressive bullies will make you pay dearly when you don’t bow down and let them have their way with you. And they usually come back at you with explosive outbursts of rage, vicious cursing, and name-calling.

This kind of person is like a petulant child throwing a temper tantrum. Bullies of this caliber will:

1.turn red-faced, curse and scream at you to the top of their lungs,

2. call you the vilest names

3. hurl objects at you from across the room.

4. destroy your personal property

Retro Emoji rage anger boiling woman face pop art retro style

Many of my classmates were these types- people who had only reached a two-year-old’s maturity level and stopped there. It seemed that when I wouldn’t be their puppet, they’d get physical and try to beat me into submission.

Understand that these kinds of bullies can’t ask for what they want respectfully because, if they do, they’ll only be giving you the freedom to say no. They would give you a chance to cut those puppet strings. Then where would that leave them?

It would leave them without a target.

Some of them will threaten you with:

1. “If you don’t do this, I’ll kick your a**.”

2. “If you say that, I’ll beat the sh** out of you.”

And some may not. But! You know the threat is there because these bullies will give you that threatening look or they loom just a little too close to intimidate you. Their body language speaks for them. Their nostrils will flair like a bull getting ready to charge, or they face you with a threatening stance while clenching their fists. They are the classic bullies.

Realize that overly aggressive bullies are so afraid of losing control of you. They react with rage if you don’t comply or take the abuse.

As I type this, I think about one bully, in particular, I’ll call her Kitty.

If there’s one thing I remember about her, it’s her volatile temper. During the eighth grade, I remember standing in the lunch line, and Kitty shoving me from behind and screaming at me to move. She pushed me so hard that she almost knocked me to the floor.

I don’t know what came over me that day, but people had bullied me for a few years, and I finally got fed up. I shouted back, telling her to keep away from me and not to ever put her hands on me again. Suddenly, her eyes flashed, and she grabbed a steak knife from the utensil section. Back then, schools used real silverware, not plastic cutlery. And she lunged at me with it.

To this day, I can still remember the white-knuckled grip she had on the potential weapon. Luckily, the principal and several male teachers grabbed and restrained her before she could attack. And mind you, Kitty was a huge 200+ pound, and close to six feet tall gargantuan. I was only, maybe, 110-120 lbs and five foot three or four. So, she could’ve done considerable damage without the knife. Lord knows what she would’ve done with it.

Then, there was the incident in the principal’s office after she’d tried to attack me in the classroom when she went berserk and grabbed the principal’s nameplate off his desk and charged me with it. Luckily, the principal and another teacher restrained her.

So, I want to warn you that, yes, such people exist and they’re dangerous. It’s best to avoid these types of bullies if possible. However, understand that overly-aggressive bullies are the type who will also hunt you down if you’re not available.

Kitty was that type. You couldn’t avoid her for long.

If a bully tracks you down, I can only tell you this. If the school won’t punish these crazies, the best thing to do is document the bullying and keep a journal of it, using the 5W rule. You should also contact the police and get a restraining order against these kinds of bullies. In doing these things, you establish records of past abuse, and these records can serve as evidence in court in the event the person maims you, or worse. You may also need to transfer schools to ensure your safety.

Do everything you can to take care of yourself and stay safe.

Bully-Targets: Targets Who Fight Back with Violence

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Bullies may indeed beat the target into submission, but that submission is only temporary. Worse, bullying, beatings, and punishing the target only does one of two things:

It re-enforces the target’s belief that he is vulnerable and that others are hostile toward him- which makes the target that much more likely to defy the bullies to assert his right to exist and to fight back.

Or…

The target may attack a weaker and more accessible adversary.

These targets feel vulnerable (and sadly, they are) and they become hypersensitive to confrontations like disparagement or domination. Violent targets come to see other people’s actions and words as affronts. These targets think nobody can be trusted. They also view their entire lives as a battle.

Bully-Victims, or bully-targets are bullied but also bully others they perceive to be weaker. In other words, they are bullies who get bullied by other bullies.

Many bully-targets also suffer severe abuse at home and have a history of demanding attitudes, disobedience, disruptive behavior, and rebellion. With the exception of being severely abused at home, this was me years ago. I felt safe at home but once I left the house, I felt like an endangered species.

PTSD

As implied earlier, many other bully-targets view their lives as a battlefield because they are abused at home and at school, or work. The abuse they suffer is never-ending and something they can never get a respite from. Therefore, their response is to retaliate and rebel against a world they feel is against them.

They are often severely punished at home for the most minor of infractions- being too loud, being too rambunctious- basically, for simply being a kid!

Many bully-targets have parents who always seem irritated and adults in their families who over-criticize them, threaten them, slap them around, and beat them. One boy who was a bully-target opened up about having a father who would double up his fist in his face and threaten to “knock him through the wall.”

It’s because of things like this that these kids are angry and lash out so easily. The abuse and bullying they suffer does not force them to comply, it only further enrages them.

These kids feel mistreated, misunderstood, and tossed away. They feel that everyone is against them and why not? The abuse they suffer both in and outside the home seems to confirm it!

This is why many targets who fight back are mistaken for bullies. They are perceived by others to be bullying others when, in fact, they are defending themselves.

These kids have the most difficult time with people and with life in general and their futures are at stake. These are the kids who need the most help. And it’s up to us to reach out and help them.

If you know someone who is a target of bullying and falls into this category, I cannot stress enough the importance of being there for them and getting them help. Please don’t give up on them because they aren’t hopeless and there’s still time to help them turn their lives around. By reaching out to these kids, you will be saving their future and their lives!