‘Want to know why being too nice is bad and how to grow a backbone? Here are all the details you need to know.
Too much sugar is never good because it not only eats away at your teeth, but it also eats away at your self-esteem and your life.
In this post, you will learn why being too nice is bad and five ways to grow a pair so that you can save yourself a ton of trouble and avoid people who take your niceness for weakness.
Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better equipped to set boundaries and keep users, abusers, and bullies at bay.
This post is about why being too nice is bad, so that you can develop a sense of self-protection and repel people who would use and abuse you.
Why Being Too Nice is Bad
In a world with so many evil people, it isn’t wise to be a pushover, as being too nice means having no backbone and no boundaries.
There will be users and bullies who’ll take your kindness for being a fool. And don’t think they won’t take advantage of you.
Here are signs that you’re too danged nice.
1. You tolerate crappy behavior from people.
When you are too nice, you tend to take shit off of others. You overlook subtle zingers and other stealth forms of bullying. You smile to cover up the hurt when people disrespect you. And because of it, others think you’re pathetic.
Therefore, you attract people who don’t respect you. Why? Because you don’t impose consequences on those who mistreat you. And they know that you aren’t going to do a damn thing about it.
So, more and more people begin bullying and abusing you. Once you allow one person to bully you, others will notice and think that they can do it too. Then, you’ll have two bullies on your trail, then four, then six, and so on.
And, more and more will pile on until, before you know it, everyone is taking a bite out of your ass.
The best way to deal with this is to stand up for yourself the first time someone disrespects you. Call out their lousy behavior and let them know that you aren’t going to take any crap off them.
2. Why Being Too Nice is Bad:
You over-apologize.
You apologize for things that aren’t your fault. And you’re sorry for things that have nothing to do with you. Keep this up, and others will find it too easy to lay guilt trips on you whenever you can’t give them what they want.
As a result, they will begin blaming you for the tiniest of things. Why? Because they know that you’ll bow down and take the blame.
So, stop apologizing so doggone much! Realize that some things don’t need an apology. Save your “sorries” for legitimate things that need them.
3. You end up a slave to the demands of others.
You bend over backward to take care of everyone else. And often, they don’t appreciate it. Instead, they only demand more of you.
Therefore, you always feel tired and exhausted. Why? Because you’re so busy pleasing others that you don’t have time to take care of yourself.
How you change this is to set boundaries. Gather the guts to say no. And when you say it, mean it! Some may not like it. However, should you care?
They never cared enough about you not to take advantage of you. So, why should you care if they get angry at your having boundaries?
Stop caring so much about what others think and how they react. Set boundaries. And stick to your guns. Also, be prepared to enforce those boundaries if necessary. In other words, be ready to show your ugly side if anyone gives you any grief.
4. Why Being Too Nice is Bad:
You say yes when you want to say no.
You don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings or piss anyone off. So, against your better judgment, you say yes when you want to say no.
You may be dog-tired and want to go to bed. However, someone shows up at your door at eleven o’clock at night with a problem.
You agree to help them with their problem. But what you should do is tell them to take a walk and never to darken your doorstep at such a ridiculous hour!
You’ll also rescue people from self-inflicted bad situations. In other words, you’re an enabler. Therefore, stop rewarding this kind of behavior.
The next time someone shows up at your door in the middle of the night and it’s not an emergency, crawl their butt! Give them an ass-chewing they’ll never forget, and I promise you. They’ll pick a better hour to come by, or they won’t show up ever again.
Either way, you win!
5. You take on others’ moods.
Instead of refusing to let some Negative Nancy get you down, you allow their funky mood to rub off on you. Not good!
Why Being TOO Nice is Bad:
Why are you too nice?
There are many reasons why you may be too nice. You may feel that you aren’t enough. Perhaps you think that you have no right to say no to anything —that you don’t deserve to take care of yourself.
You may be afraid of conflict.
It’s natural to want to be approved of, liked, and loved. However, when you feel that the only way to do it is to bust ass for others, that’s when it’s unhealthy.
Additionally, you often end up with the opposite of what you want. Why? Because people lose respect for you! No one respects a pushover!
And you won’t realize all of this until you reach your limit and get fed up! But you don’t have to waste years of your life being a doormat if you follow the guidelines below.
Here are 5 ways to grow a pair.
1. Stand up to shabby treatment.
Life’s too short for that. You must stand up for yourself when someone violates a boundary, whether it be physical or psychological.
Realize you deserve to be treated well, and you deserve it just as much as the next person. Therefore, you must always speak up for yourself.
2. Why Being too Nice is Bad:
Stop apologizing so much.
Realize that some things don’t warrant an apology. And standing up for yourself and saying no are only two of those things.
When you apologize too much, you invite bullying to happen to you. Why? Because you care too much about what people think, you also attract bullies and abusers into your life. And they will take advantage of you.
Stop apologizing and taking responsibility for things you aren’t guilty of. When you do this, you’ll repel all the creeps who are looking for someone to use.
3. put yourself first.
Take care of yourself first. Only then will you have enough energy to take care of others.
4. Say no.
Don’t be afraid to say no if you don’t want to do something. If you don’t feel like fulfilling someone else’s request, no law says you have to.
For example, if you have adult children who need your help with their rent, you can assist them if you know they’re responsible and trying. Sometimes, unexpected things happen.
People get sick and have unexpected medical bills. Cars break down, and repair bills take all the money for rent.
However, if they’re out blowing money on drinks and partying, then you don’t have to help them. Sometimes you must let them fall on their butt before they’ll take responsibility for their lives.
5. Why Being too Nice is Bad:
don’t let the moods of others around you affect your mood.
If you have a Debbie Downer who is always negative, there’s nothing wrong with calling them out on it or staying away from them. Whatever you do, don’t try to rescue them or argue with them. It won’t work.
Leave them to stew in their juices. Their emotional state isn’t your responsibility.
Why Being Too Nice is Bad.
1. It’s exhausting.
You waste a lot of energy trying to appease ungrateful people when you could be taking care of yourself.
2. People take you for granted.
People will only take your kindness for weakness. They will take advantage of you every chance they get.
3. You attract bullies, users, and abusers.
Human predators will see you coming a mile away. Therefore, they will approach you just to obtain what they want from you.
4. Why Being Too Nice is Bad:
People see you as a pushover.
This is never good because once others see you as a pushover, they’ll likely take advantage of you. Additionally, you’ll appear pathetic to them.
5. You lose respect.
No one respects a doormat. On the other hand, they do respect someone who sets boundaries.
6. You have no time for yourself.
When you’re too busy solving other people’s problems, you have no time to take care of your own. So, take care of your issues first.
Why Being Too Nice is Bad:
In closing
Sometimes, taking care of yourself means facing conflict, as some people can be selfish and demanding. They won’t be able to see past their own needs and desires.
Never be afraid to set boundaries. It’s okay to take care of others. But don’t forget to take a little back for yourself. Only then will people respect you and recognize that you also have feelings and rights.
You will be amazed at the benefits!
It’s okay to be kind, but never be too nice!
1. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect
2. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It
3. What Happens When You Set Boundaries: 7 Amazing Outcomes