Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone. It is the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

For many years- even back during the eighties, when I was in school, people thought that it was the one skill that could never be taught. It was thought that you were either born with it, or you weren’t and if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept and deal with. Thankfully, we now know differently.

Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion and, as a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world. When you’ve been bullied for so long, you because deathly afraid of other people and come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else- afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.

You retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved- a world of imaginary people who accept you. As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created.

This is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you and you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to create a good life for yourself and nurture relationships. Before you know it, you become socially awkward- you become too quiet, shy, and reserved.

You look right through people instead of smiling and saying hello. You become sullen and spaced out instead of happy, upbeat, and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.

In short, it stunts your social development!

This is why it’s so important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. You do this by keeping your heart open, meeting new people and making friends- created positive interactions and experiences outside the bullying environment and away from your bullies (or anyone else who knows you from the toxic bullying environment. Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.

With knowledge comes empowerment!